Transcript
Speaker: you've been doing a lot of events related to your child. Oh, yes, yes, yes. They have like a bunch of three events leading up to starting the preschool. They ease you in like, but because his class, he's going in older than most of the other kids have gone in. So they already, how many of them know each other? Most of them. It's only like two or three new kids in the class.
Speaker: Although I don't think the class is that big. So Maybe like 30% of the class is new or something like that. So you went to a picnic? There was a picnic. But then again, because most of the parents of the kids my child's age already knew each other. So they didn't come to this like introductory picnic situation. So there were only a couple of parents.
Speaker: Oh, so it was only the new parents who were at this picnic? Well, everyone's invited, but like people didn't seem to be motivated to go because... it's It's more to like meet everybody. you know You put on like name tags and say hi and like vibe people out.
Speaker: And it was fine. I made ah i met a couple of moms. um you know My husband gave someone a stern talking to about Dave Chappelle. Oh, yeah. What what happened there?
Speaker: This guy just said he really loved Dave Chappelle's new Netflix specials. and d And your husband didn't like it. My husband was like, No, he didn't like it. Yeah. He didn't like the special.
Speaker: They're bad. I mean, like, did he watch the special? We watched he he's watched all of them. I mean, I gave up after the first one. first But he watched the new one. Your husband watched new special. Is there a new one? There's always new I don't what was the guy talking about?
Speaker: It's like all the same when he makes all these jokes about trans people. Like, like that's the subtext. But is there a new Dave Chappelle special? That's what I'm trying to understand. don't know. No. we He was just like gave the annoying question that everybody always asks when you say you're a comedian, which is like, who's the greatest of all time? Who's the goat? It's only men who ask this question, by the way, um because it's like such a subjective, silly thing.
Speaker: ah to think that you know who the greatest comedian of all time is. What did your husband say? He said like he was like alive today because he was like Richard Pryor. But then like alive today, he was like Maria Bamford. And I was like, oh, i was was surprised. All right. He's trying to get wokeness. Yeah, something's not real. He does not think Maria Bamford. I don't know. He was like technically speaking in her joker. I was like, right now it's John Mulaney. Like, I think, you know, like he's the most popular and he's very good.
Speaker: But, you know, clearly, I guess he didn't want to say that. I don't know. Maybe he knew that your husband was trolling him by saying Maria Hanford. And so he was like, all right, you want to go? Let's go. Maybe. I mean, yeah, maybe. I don't know. We don't know these people that well.
Speaker: Um, but yeah, that was the only kind of drama. The food was good. There was a great like lentil mango salad and bagels and pupusas and lots of stuff. Everybody brought, it was like a potluck, but they also brought bagels like the, the the supplement. Yeah. and Just in case and coffee. And, uh, it was fine except they picked an area where there's a playground that's closed off for construction so it's like of course my kid was like that whole playground yeah it's closed off for construction shane's inspiration no no no it's with the picnic area it um i forget what it's called but it's different area of griffith park oh
Speaker: um But so, of course, my kid was just like, I want to go in there the whole time. And we're like, you can't. It's fenced off for construction. You know, so that was annoying. But other than that, it was fine. They were just like running around. did your Did your kid seem to make any friends? He did. He sat, he plopped down with the girls and started playing with the girls stuff. And then he wanted to play Elsa and Anna with them.
Speaker: and they seemed nice, but it was a girl and her sister and this other girl, so they were kind of like... His father's son, you know? Yeah, that's what I was saying. Bamford, Elsa and Anna. ah But it's not, I mean, Elsa and Anna, it's, you know, he also plays Spidey and Rhino. Like, it's like he does both. He do it all. He can do it all, you know, like.
Speaker: um But and and honestly, the game of Elsa and Anna is pretty boring. He's just like, I'm Anna, you're Elsa. And I'll be like, I'm Elsa. And that's the extent. I'm Anna. Okay. And then he goes into a cave or something. Like it's not, there's not much going on there.
Speaker: Yeah. He's just assuming the role. that Yeah. He's just being it. Like he'll look at you with magic in his eyes. Like I'm Anna. there's a the so sub There's a post going around on Substack about how like Frozen isn't actually good and people are getting really mad about it. I mean, I was so confused. When I was writing for that YouTuber, like I would rip plots all the time and they wanted me to do like a Frozen version of her.
Speaker: You were like, but the movie makes no sense. I had never seen the movie. So all I did was read a synopsis and I was like, what the fuck? That's so – it's such a cynical way to write.
Speaker: I had to do that too. You did? had to rip stuff? We would go through plots from – that would be an assignment for the lowly writers is to go through plots, TV shows. Yes. And then off the plots. Yes. I don't think any of them were ever actually used, but it was – I mean, it was busy work. Oh, they produce every single one of mine. It's just a way to shut you Because they need to make one every day. really? Yeah.
Speaker: was YouTube. yeah. So they would go live like very fast. And they're all ripped off plots from- No, no. But she would be like, it's like Brookhaven, but it's in, you know, it's Frozen. Like it's like a YouTube character in Roblox, but it's like Frozen inspired. had to do it with lots stuff. YouTube character Roblox? Yeah, it's a Roblox YouTube. Wait, thought Roblox was a game. Yeah. So the video is the YouTuber playing the Roblox game, but it's like- The Roblox game is the cartoon, basically, is how they would do confusing. Yeah, i I don't understand. I didn't even know what Roblox was before I started writing this thing.
Speaker: And I was like, I'm like- This isn't like the 2010s. This is a very 2010s. I didn't have a video game console growing up. and No, it was later. it was like, because it was losing steam already. like wow But she did get like a Hulu deal after or something. i don't know.
Speaker: My friend who was writing before me was like, they used my scripts and didn't pay me on Hulu. Oh God. But I had to do that for like Paw Patrol. um Has your kid watched Paw Patrol?
Speaker: No. Copaganda? don't think so. So you draw the line somewhere. I do. We actually, no. We don't watch Paw Patrol. It's true. I do draw the line somewhere.
Speaker: It's, you know, it's pretty far, but not Paw Patrol. Yeah. It's so bad. I mean, when I- What's the worst thing your kid has watched? The worst? Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, probably s Spidey and his amazing friends. that a TV show? hate that show, but my husband shows it to him and that's their thing. So I'm like, but whenever he asks to watch it with me, I'm like, that's a daddy show. Mommy's not showing you that show. i like cut your foot around Yeah, I do. But it like, you know.
Speaker: My husband just wants him to love Spider-Man for some reason. Wait for that.
Speaker: Yeah, I hate that show. It's like one of those like horrible like- The animation is super ugly. A cut every minutes. Yeah, yeah, really fast pace. Super ugly, super buggy. The big eyes. And like the camera that's like moving, you know what I mean? Like it's just like totally hypnotic and I hate it.
Speaker: I've been reading some scary facts lately about- And the expressions are not real. Like it's like that's what bothers me the most is like that they don't- show the feelings enough in the face do you know what I mean Frozen's a little bit like that they where their faces aren't expressive enough yes well maybe was preparing them for Botox for the mothers of all the kids he's gonna go to school with yeah the Botox who all have Botox honestly the moms didn't give me that vibe it didn't feel there were a few because everyone gets it now even non i know actor people like I've never done it have you
Speaker: Does it look like – It's terrible work. If a if I've gotten Botox, I should get a refund. I mean, I'm 35. It's not – Yeah. I don't know. I mean, you look young to me. Definitely look younger than me. I smile. I've always had wrinkles when I smile.
Speaker: Yeah. It gets worse. Even when I was a teenager. You can, like, look into your future when you look at my face of, like, where it's all going. It's not going to be good. And I have forehead – Well, i I got forehead wrinkles early from – horrible acne scars. So I got used to having. But I thought acne scars prevent wrinkles.
Speaker: I've never heard that. Okay. I would have zero wrinkles then because I only have acne scars. Oh, okay. Okay. I don't, but I do have a wrinkle. i have like one strong wrinkle on my forehead. You can see it. And other smaller. This one or this one?
Speaker: Oh, yeah. There's, yeah. It's like it's like this is from coming across. This from frowning too much. This can also be confusion. i mean Are you mad or stupid?
Speaker: ah It's a combination, you know, like the rest of America. but that And then this one is from like being curious. Yeah. Because you're so you're such a curious person. Wide-eyed. does ah Does your kid point out any flaws in your face? No. He thinks I'm a beautiful angel.
Speaker: But he's still too young to do that, I think. He will soon. My kid will point out. He'll be like, you have holes in your head. Jesus. Because i have yeah I have acne scars, but also...
Speaker: like my scar from cracking my head open. What? And I explained him that I have rocks in my head from when I cracked When did you crack your head open? I was eight, skipping on the monkey bars. Like I so i jumped from a platform and to try to get to the fourth bar.
Speaker: and then I just went right to the ground. That's so scary. Had to go get stitches. That also explains a lot. It was all downhill after that. i do blame that incident. Really? Yeah.
Speaker: Also, I had selective mutism at the time. And you did i screamed and someone in my class said that was the first time he'd ever heard me heard your voice say anything. That's when i cracked my head open. and Did you play a musical instrument?
Speaker: How did you express yourself? I did play the piano at that time. No, it was after we moved. um Oh, my kid did say the other day, just he said, i like your hair, I like your eyes. And what else did he It was so nice.
Speaker: Because it is nice. Your kids do think you're a beautiful angel. Yeah. Even – <unk> not I mean, we don't talk about looks really. I mean, I tell him he's my beautiful angel. Yeah. ah Because he is. He looks like a cherub. Oh, he got – he and my kid were um mistaken for twins again yesterday. Did your husband tell you this? No, he didn't.
Speaker: There was a – oh, and I have a story about her too. There was a woman at the park with a 17-month-old and she asked if they were twins. Yeah. And I was like, no, they're not related at all. And she was like, whoa.
Speaker: But then also I was like, that also means you think we're together. If you think that we're twins. It's like we're not – as we're like – we're literally like sharing an iced coffee too because he felt so bad I think. told he shared it. So he gave me some of his iced coffee. So we probably – Oh, but this woman – seemed very shocked. Did he tell you any of this? No. When your kid whacked her kid as as he does. and But she, the way she she was like, oh.
Speaker: And I was like, oh my God, lady. All right. And I think I immediately, which might have been also been why they thought that you your kid was my kid too. Because I was like, no, I was just, I wast me i was, and obviously i kids shouldn't hit other kids and Your husband said, don't do that, whatever. Yeah. And was like, oh, it must be nice to have a perfect child to wait six months. Like, I was just like – because her reaction was so over the top and traumatic. How old? Her kid was – 17 months. 17 or 18. So I was like, all right, you have a good before have to deal with I mean, I definitely was also like that when was that age. I had no idea. No, no. I was like, oh, about the older kids. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. like, why are they getting so upset about keeping that toy? And obviously, some are –
Speaker: crazier than others, whatever. Like it's a spectrum. Yeah. But also just being surprised. Like when your hit kid hits my kid, it's just another Thursday. Yeah. But like if you're not used to it, it's just like my baby. It's when they don't have siblings. Yeah. So I, yeah, I immediately was kind of bitchy to her. I mean, a few times in New York, my kid would like do something to another kid and i'd be like, oh no, no, no, no. And they'd be like, don't worry. They have an older son. Yeah. yes not they may know yeah We don't care at all.
Speaker: what happens to our child. I love that. Well, it's reassuring. It's reassuring. For you. It's true. But then I feel like a fool for being like, who But my kid got worse. He was also bad then. I mean, no, he started being bad or I wouldn't say bad, but started being more like. There's bad and there's good. Okay. Okay. Yeah. He's bad black and white. No, he started being more like acting out more.
Speaker: I'd say, yeah, like right at two years. Yeah. Two. Yeah. Or maybe a little bit. Sometimes it's a little later. feel like two and a half is the peak. I don't know. Three can be bad. It progressively three you don't hit as much, I think. Hopefully. We talk about it a lot, but it's like, I'm not sure how you, what to do. Well, what would the director of your preschool say?
Speaker: They'd say we meet everything with love and kindness and we make an incident report, you know, if it's a big deal and we'll take people aside, i think, and just meet it with love and kindness. and We gently invite Oh, yeah. to do that We gently invite them not to do that. Which is incredible language. I mean, I told my husband, he used to work in like car dealerships and service. And I was like, you must adopt this language if you ever work at the car dealership. I gently invite you to pay. Rotate your tires. $7,000 for. I'm like, be the Rick Rubin of the car dealership. No, and rich people love that shit. they yeah It really speaks to them. I mean, it definitely puts me at ease.
Speaker: But yeah, they kept saying that about crop. People really want their kids to work. No, but tell the whole story. What's the whole story? Just, I mean, he your husband had a whole buildup. He's a lot funnier than me. He was a punchline. Look, maybe he should be doing the podcast. Let's let's get him on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But people would, you know, be saying. They kept saying, like, is what is this horrible thing going to happen to my child? And they'd be like, no, don't worry. Right. Is this OK? Yeah. Is is is it OK that my child is a biter? Is it OK that my child has murdered 14 people? Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: We'll gently invite them to not murder. Yeah. We'll take them aside and gently invite them to do that. But then one parent was like, but can my kid wear Crocs? And they said, But I asked him and he's like, that's not actually what they said. They said, we gently invite you not to do that. To not wear Crocs. Which they did that on the Zoom too. Somebody else asked about Crocs. I think he said that they didn't give a satisfying – they said like my question wasn't answered. About the Crocs? This person was so eager their kid to wear Crocs. Why are they so keen on the Crocs? No, people are too upset. Speaking which, is a good brand.
Speaker: I don't know. They don't want sandals at the preschool. No, I i am a very anti-Crocs person. Yeah. her kids I think it's I think they're dangerous. They're dangerous. Yeah. They can't run around in them and climb. Yeah. They just want safe shoes. Basically, they want closed toed like sneakers, you know, and like no cowboy boots. They have a list of stuff that like is no good for shoes for kids.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. Cowboy boots. I remember saying. some Yeah. My kid, that he had a phase. Were you here for the phase? I remember some cowboy. I mean, they really suited him. Yeah. But then I feel like they gave him a bit too much confidence. I mean, shoes can do that. i had a pair of gold sneakers once and I was like, I'm really living now. Went to your head immediately. 100 percent. It changed everything.
Speaker: But they're gone now. Motherhood beat that out of me. Good. Yeah. I have no persona anymore. I'm just a haggard pile of trash. You really think you have no persona anymore? I don't know. i'm not, I'm not like, it's like, i'm i don't know.
Speaker: Do I?
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, you're a person. i wouldn't i don't think I would talk to you if you had personality. Well, personality, but persona is like- what it What's the difference? what's It's like a grandiose version of maybe my personality- That sounds annoying. You did say you got less annoying after having kids. I've gradually over the course of my life become less annoying. There was like a peak, you know, and in my early 20s. Oh, that makes sense. Incredibly annoying person probably to be around. Like I'm talking like talks loudly on the bus. So everybody listens. like On purpose? On purpose. Yes. Why? I was histrionic. was in theater school. I just wanted attention, you know.
Speaker: It must have come from your childhood, not getting enough attention. Yeah, I think I finally like broke free of having a... I don't know what was going on there, but it wasn't good. And I also like became more attractive. like I was pretty hideous by the end of high school. and then like Oh, that actually... Those can be the worst kinds of people. yeah People who...
Speaker: weren't attractive in middle school, high school, and then they become attractive. Yeah. But they already have the chip on their shoulder from being unattractive that makes them annoying. So even when they are attractive and they should just be normal and confident now. Yeah. No. They're not. No, no. but Yeah. Well, I basically like I was attractive in sixth grade.
Speaker: And then it six went downhill. You peaked in sixth grade? Sixth, seventh grade, I was okay. And then it went really downhill. When puberty really hit. Puberty really robbed me of a lot of – yeah. And I gained weight and, you know, depression all that stuff. Something happened hormonally. I don't know what. I mean, obviously puberty, but, like, some other crap that probably wasn't healthy. And then, and then in my, like, late teens, early 20s, like, that's when I started – When you learn how to do makeup and, like – No, I just looked like my face like figured itself out. Okay. You know? Things fell into place. Yeah, things fell into place. And then it was like, oh, like it's like you have like a new superpower.
Speaker: It changes everything. It's crazy. um And now obviously that's gone away. but kind of I feel like now it's like like kind of even keeled, you know?
Speaker: I've looked at looks from both sides now. Oh, interesting. Like the Joni Mitchell song. um But yeah, so far it's good vibes from this preschool. I mean...
Speaker: I don't buy it. I'd love to meet these people. people Are they all going to be at their birthday party? On the Zoom, they were like, don't hide the wine, people. was like, what the heck? They're all like loopy. like No, that yeah. These types of moms, the wine moms.
Speaker: No, those were the people who work there who said that. Yeah, but it's wine moms who work there. Yeah, it's wine moms. But they're not. Like we're cool. But they're not makeup people. Like they're like, you know, like the Jewish androgyny, you know.
Speaker: like I mean, it's a comfortable spot for me. Like, right I'm familiar with that. That type of, yeah. Yeah, the whole thing. um And I like a relaxed. Which is funny because your husband's doing most of the. Heavy lifting, yeah, socially. Even though he is not at all like them. No, but he he's going to talk to the rabbi about Oh, is it time? Yeah, he thinks it might be the same rabbi that visited us in the hospital, actually, after I gave birth.
Speaker: Oh, really? Yeah, it might be. We've got to find out for sure. I know. We've got to find out. But yeah, he's doing most the heavy lifting. There's something I wanted to say, and I totally forget what it was.
Speaker: um Oh, yeah. Yeah, as somebody who naturally is scared of people, who are too like in your face and I have like a natural fawn response. I'm like, I like that they're very chill cause don't have to like worry about, you know, some kind of weird power dynamic situation.
Speaker: Right. They're not coming on too strong. Yeah, and that they'll be kind. like You can penetrate them. I'm someone who needs kindness or like much prefers kindness. like i Putting on armor is like it's a lot of stress. I'll do it like if I have to. you know ah Yesterday, I kind had to, but I prefer not to.
Speaker: You had to do that. was it With the meeting, yeah. ah do you You don't have a fond response really all. How do you respond to somebody who's like kind of in your face about stuff or saying something kind of? Yeah, I don't. People like that.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Put me off. Yeah. I don't. But how do you? So you write you leave or do you like freeze? What's your trauma like reaction? I'm trying to think of an example Oh. No one's ever mean you. Someone who's been in my face. Or not in your face, but just maybe it's somebody close to you who's kind of like not that nice all the time.
Speaker: I mean, i don't think I flee or freeze. Fight? I think I fight. You fight. Yeah. That's a good one. I wish that one. think my natural instinct is to fight.
Speaker: But the fighting sometimes can go very bad. yeah i mean And it doesn't usually resolve anything. No. Although later, things can sink in.
Speaker: With the right people. Yeah. late It won't happen immediately. Yeah. Fighting in the moment won't ever get you anywhere. Then the dust settles. But maybe later. You all think about what you fought about and then you come back with some like yeah changes to be made.
Speaker: Is my mic off? No, no It's off.
Speaker: Oh, wow. Okay. What other stories? do you Oh, I wanted to talk about the comments on our TikTok. okay. Because people are joining in on our No Toys in the Playground discussion. Part of the conversation. Yeah, so we'd like to, you know, let them join in on the conversation. So I'm just going to read. We got two comments about toys. i just need to find them and then I can read them.
Speaker: They're the only comments we've gotten, which feel free to comment. Okay. Becca MCP commented, If the point is to play,
Speaker: Why can they not bring their toys to play? The problem is not teaching kids, oh, that's not, that's their toy, but we can ask to play with them. My son always brings his toys to the playground and loves showing new kids his toys and playing with them. And we never have a problem. How old is is is the kid? and We don't know. That's my question. Obviously young. Not every kid is capable of climbing slash playing on the playground. Then why are they going to the playground? can also enjoy being at the playground on their own terms.
Speaker: So I don't know if this is America. i mean, it's a free country. Yeah, you can do whatever you want, but is it best for other people, for society? Obviously, it's best it's you think it's best for your own child. She said there's never a problem. Yeah, there's no way she's recognizing. Maybe there's no one else. Maybe she's town. goes to a playground. with There are lots of suburban playgrounds where nobody goes playground. So we're really talking about populated playgrounds here, just to get some context. Yeah, basically New York. hill Like the coastal elite playgrounds. Top of the line playgrounds. Right. Identically populated neighborhoods. yeah Because I remember playgrounds in smaller towns that I've been to where it's like there's so much distance between the four kids that are actually there that it's definitely not a problem. like And I can I think I can speak to having both kinds of kids.
Speaker: One who had more trouble sharing. Like either way, I think it's annoying. I had one kid who had trouble sharing and one kid who doesn't as much. And... Even in both cases, I think it's annoying to have toys at the playground. Yeah, because there'll be other kids who have trouble sharing. Yeah. or My kids. But I also want them to be – if they don't know how to climb, then maybe they should learn. i mean right They didn't say if their kid had a disability or something, but – Right. That's the question. It's like, is your kid too young or is this like an ableism, like speaking out? that Which, like, I understand. They just must be young.
Speaker: Because they're they're like – they have the kid maybe on – I don't know if the blanket and the trucks, you know, like – Yeah. Yeah. They're on the ground. They're not climbing up yet. Yeah. Not every kid is capable of climbing.
Speaker: But there's other stuff to do at the playground than climb. Yeah. and you learn to climb. or even – It's probably – it's just – it must just be easier for this mom to not have to follow her kid. Like I'm thinking of my kid at 18 months going to those New York playgrounds and having to follow him up onto the – because they were unfamiliar. Right. It's easier. just following him onto every playground – But if you just want to show up and chill, then having the toys on the ground yeah to occupy your kid, I could see how that would be easier.
Speaker: It's true, yeah. My feeling is it's a small town and there's just not a lot of other kids to contend with. Okay, now we got one. um Girly Pop Nail Polish Heart says, maybe it's a good opportunity for kids to learn to share.
Speaker: i don't bring toys. i will be upset if they get lost, but I'll bring balls, buckets, chalk. It's hard when my daughter wants to play with a toy. It's not her, but a teaching opportunity. She needs to learn she's not entitled to play with everything, even at 2YO like she is.
Speaker: Okay. I mean, this would be like the nannies in in Brooklyn's take of like, we can bring the toys and that's and then that's we tell them, no. That's how they learn. Yeah. And then they just do it over and over again, like drill sergeants like being like, no, no, no.
Speaker: But is that really? But it doesn't make difference. I don't think it makes a difference. I think they literally developmentally cannot share yet. So it's like you're asking them.
Speaker: It's more about them being like they need to learn subservience than they need to learn how to share. To me, that's more the lesson that they're trying to teach. You have to do what I say. like Which is also true.
Speaker: but But it's a different. It's not sharing. Yeah. yeah It's more just yeah listening to what the adult says to do. um Okay. So they're saying their two-year-old.
Speaker: brings toys and they don't bring toys they bring buckets chalk balls which the kids are gonna what are we defining as toys but yeah those sound like toys yeah me too um i just don't think it's the the venue for it a job you can have playdates with i mean playdates are gonna have to learn to take turns and share and stuff when you go to someone's house or they go to your house. Yeah.
Speaker: But I still, I'm going to harp on the playground is a playground. Right. With equipment provided by the great city or whatever.
Speaker: That's what you're developmentally ready to do. That's what you're working on at of time. Yeah. Yeah. That and socializing, like it's like pretend play. Like have those fake little lemonade stands. don't need crap. You don't junk. Yeah. No, you don't.
Speaker: Because they fight – like something about plastic shiny objects are very exciting. Enticing. Yeah. To kids. Yeah. Yeah. You should say the thing you said about the bike that was at our playground. What did I say? i thought it was, there was a nanny who went off somewhere else with the kids she was watching. Right, right. She brought this beautiful red, like kind of tricycle with a basket and a bell that of course everyone's going to want to ride in. And she put it in the playground and then went off. Somewhere else. And it felt exactly like in Mean Girls when they she like throws up the flyer and walks away while everything's just in flames behind her. Yeah. yeah that is Why are you doing this to us? Just gallivanting around with her like with the one-year-old that she's watching. It's crazy.
Speaker: It's kind of funny. Yeah, no, it is. I mean, guess if you're bored as a nanny and you're annoyed by everyone, that's an interesting move. like Right. If you just want to stir the pot. I mean – what else you got going i don't think so she's so kind yeah but there could be like a secret i think we're all well and nannies are just in theory they're just focused on the kid that they're watching and they're not thinking about the dynamics they don't care about because so this is their job their job that is to watch that kid and bring their fancy toys because usually they have fancy toys because they're
Speaker: Nanny's for rich families. Right. So they always have the best stuff and they want to bring it to the park to make that kid happy. well they also And they're not thinking about consequences. They want to stay. mean, to me, my mindset as a nanny would be like, I want to stay at this playground as long as possible because it takes up time. And like they're just killing time. They're killing time at the playground. And we're not at home. Like being at home is the is the thing you don't want to do, I think, as a nanny. You want to go out and see other nannies and like be doing something. So it's like the more theoretically, the more toys you bring to the playground, the longer you can stay there because as you just introduce a new one. And then it's that toy's time. like Right. Right.
Speaker: But this bike, I mean, did the person who brought the bike even use it? I never saw them. A lot of times. yeah because a lot of times they're toys brought by younger, like one to one year olds, basically. Yeah. Who are trying things out for the first time. So they're like, oh, let's bring this exciting new toy. Let's try it out at the park where there's room to ride it around. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: And they're not thinking about – and then the kid doesn't ever actually ride it no while they're there. because kids never actually want to bring – or at least my kid never actually wants to play with the toy that we brought.
Speaker: Right. They don't want anyway. we brought toys, they'd be like, that's boring. That's already my toy. like But there are apparently – there are kids who are like, I want to bring my scooter. I want to bring my stuffed animal. I want to bring my whatever. Like they do want to.
Speaker: It's like something about, you know, showing off. Having all their stuff. Their stuff at the park, which I just don't think is the right venue for that. Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, I have no idea if I did that. I'd probably not. couldn't imagine bringing stuff. And the the fact that it is annoying just makes it obvious that it's a bad idea. Yeah.
Speaker: like Like it's unnatural to do it. I think it's just – Right. It goes against human nature. well toys – I mean, I guess there's always been toys, but I – Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, I guess so. Although I feel like, yeah, my grandfather would say, like I said, like he'd just play with like a box and a string, like yeah just like stuff that's around the house. Right, and that's forcing you to use your imagination. real stuff, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: Um, but yeah, I feel like most of our toys actually in the house at this point is just junk. I was like, I'm going to throw away most of these. They're just like leftover pieces from other toys. Right. Yeah. It's a lot to get rid You can find them all.
Speaker: Um, I'm trying to think what else we even did this week.
Speaker: What have we just, honestly, we've just been stressing out about our own like personal crap. Um,
Speaker: What have you been doing to beat the heat? How was going to the Broad? Oh, that was fun. um I mean, it was quite an adventure yeah taking a bus and two subways.
Speaker: So they love, I mean, that's, and that's half of the fun is taking the subways and the buses and stuff. Like that's probably, it probably took just as much time as actually being at the museum.
Speaker: Right. Half the fun is just riding the vehicles to get there and like seeing all this stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they, ah they connect police officer. oh police officer. We gave him stickers. Ooh. So my kid was like, that was a nice police officer. And I was like, well, he's doing better than most. I mean, he's at least giving kids stickers. Yeah.
Speaker: They should, like I said, it's good that he at least wants people. He wants people to think that he's nice. Like he understands that their image is not the best. Yeah. You know, in Montreal, once to try to fix their image, they made, and I have no idea why or who came up with this, but it's like a kooky French thing, I guess.
Speaker: Kooky French idea. But they made them all wear these like cow print pants. for like a while, like in like neon colored cow print pants. Just to humiliate them, to bring them- Just to be like, they're not threatening. Yeah.
Speaker: Don't hurt the cops. Are they less threatening? I mean- There's a lot of fights that go on between the cops and the people in Montreal. It's a much more politically active country in Canada. But so like, maybe because it's all a bit more condensed, the population, I don't know. Or at least what I've seen. there's So obviously a lot of stuff goes down in LA.
Speaker: But like once a year, there's like a protest that's just everybody trying to beat up the cops pretty much. like Over a specific incident? No, just anarchy. Like, just we don't want you. There's got to be an end goal. There's a lot of cop cars when that when the when the hockey game, when the hockey team wins, like wins big. Like the big thing that they do is burn cop cars in Montreal.
Speaker: i don't know. There's just a lot of disrespect for authority, I guess. it it I mean, it's five universities in that city, so it's like lot of college students. Anyway. Yeah. Okay. Like, I read a...
Speaker: and People talk about this all the time. I read a sub stack note that said, oh my husband takes my kid out one time and everyone is calling him super dad. And how come when I take my kid out, ah no one says anything. And I was like, no one has ever said that to Mike ever. No one has ever called him super dad. No one has ever said like, oh, you had like you're really doing it. You're such a good dad. Like that has absolutely never happened to him. And what does that say? This, again, sounds like a small town situation to me. That's what I think. Someone, one person commented because i posted something about it and someone did comment on it and say, like, I live in a neighborhood, like a village full of pensioners. She's in the UK. Oh. So it happened. She was like, oh, this happens all the time to us. Like my when my husband takes the kids out. Oh, because they're of a different generation. So i think I think that's it. But it never happens around here. I think because, yeah, every half a block there's some like –
Speaker: Most of the dads around here look really annoyed and they always have earphones in pushing the strollers. It's true. They do. They just are like so pissed. They do not want to engage. No. They're always like walking their kid to daycare and they're like, let me get this freaking annoying thing out of my way. Yes. Because I remember when we first had our kid, like I was trying to like build community because I was like, what can I do for to make sure my mental health stays on track? like so I was like, I got to join this thing. I got to be on the board of the room.
Speaker: mother thing in our neighborhood. I like meet everyone, talk to everyone, you know, and I was like, oh there's nothing for dads. So I would walk around with my husband and my baby and we'd be like always trying to like make eye contact with the dads, like find dad friends like so that he would also have some support because he was also traumatized by the birth and everything that happened, you know, like, so like you need like, like dads, you know? And it was so, yeah, we'd always, it's like, we'd try to make eye contact and they just like look up around us, like not you're not interested. They're getting, they're baked good from all time and they're going to wherever they're going. They're getting their, their little hit of dopamine and they're, and then dropping the kid off at daycare and they're not going to think about that kid until 6 o'clock. Well, sometimes we'd see parents like together. i remember once we saw parents with the kid was screaming and they just looked like out of their mind. Like they hadn't slept in days. And we' we're like, oh, man.
Speaker: And it's so weird too because i remember early on I was like, oh I never used to notice parents with their kids before I had a kid. Like it was like totally off my radar. And now all I see is strollers. Yeah.
Speaker: Right. It makes it feel like there's there are a lot of them, but I don't know if there are really. it's just you notice them. Not as many. Definitely not as many as Brooklyn. I mean, not even close out here, but it's also less densely populated.
Speaker: But um no, but it's just so weird how you can like change dimensions like that, where it's like suddenly like something completely different is on your radar and you're tuning everything else out. Yeah. No, I would notice pregnant women more when I was pregnant. Yeah. Now I never see them. But they're obviously there. Because I remember with pregnant women, like I'd look at them and I'd be like, like usually look for us to be like, you know, like some kind of like we're where both doing this, you know, like. But sometimes they had also didn't want anything do with it. It's just a lack of curiosity about other people. Well, and now I'm like nightlife is dead in L.A. But it's actually like I'm just never out of You're doing it. To witness it, I have no idea what's going on. I just assume it's dead because I'm not participating. that's what my long walks, like yesterday we just went to Albertsons. Yeah. At like nine o'clock at night.
Speaker: And there are people out, the Vandals is always hopping. What's Vandals? That bar. There's like a line at the door. Vandals? I see. I don't even know this bar. Either Vandal or Vandals.
Speaker: It's a newer bar. Where is it? It's on Hillhurst. yeah And there are always people out and about. Oh, yeah. But the the reality is the park is where the parents who are more like-minded are because they're really wanting to spend time with their kids.
Speaker: Yes. That's why the park has been so great because it's parents. Parents who are there. Right, that's where you can find the dads who like are being or like yeah not working or whatever, or they're more present or something. um i mean, I'm sure, I do think someone must have called Dean Superdad at one point. Oh yeah, it was on, yes.
Speaker: We were on an airplane and the flight attendants were all extremely impressed that he went to change the poopy diaper in the bathroom instead of me. ok They were like, wow, what a man.
Speaker: And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? But maybe that's just something, because Mike was like, maybe their husbands just look like superheroes.
Speaker: You know, maybe like maybe your husband just looks like a superhero. Does he? I mean, he acts like one sometimes, I guess. He has been yeah heroic. He's been a hero. Yeah, it's true. No, he does definitely like sprinted to action like something wrong is going on. i do dependently depend. i don't know what word that is. Rely on him for that.
Speaker: So yeah, that's true. but um And he's also very much engaging with the people around him all the time. So it's like there's a lot of openings for people to say anything to him, really. like Because he's always talking everyone. Right, yeah. I think Mike also probably just looks closed off. and Yeah, he's probably more just like in his like circle with his kids. like yeah so they like But I also think it's generational. Those flight attendants were from Nevada or wherever they were.
Speaker: You know what mean? Like I'm picturing like orange tanning band vibes. But I mean, of course, anyone in my parents' generation would be like, wow I mean, like people, but my dad was more present than most boomer dads. Like he was making dinner most of the time. You know, they divided up the household chores. Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, my mom definitely made cracks when Dean had paternity leave being like like, only a few more days till you get to go back to work. And he'd be like, I feel like she's torturing me. like I don't want to leave. I want to be with my baby. like oh Mike wanted to go back to work. if it And she was like, can't you? But Mike also likes his job more. It's like a job he actually wanted to do. like so it's a little different.
Speaker: um we had a There was a meeting at my kid's school for volunteering. okay They have a special group.
Speaker: So was a board meeting for everyone. ah so i was trying to suss out. It's like the vibes of people, i don't know. It's hard. but I'm trying to get a sense of who would like me, who It takes so long to get to know people. It takes like two years.
Speaker: That's why at least – because I always thought if my kids went to preschool, then you're just meeting all these people and then you're going to leave anyway to go to the real school that they're going to go to for longer. so I'm like, that sounds so annoying to have to like get into this group and then you're just going to leave anyway. group Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: Although i at this school, we'll settle it in for a bit. Right. Well, someone said a lot of people from our preschool go to that school after. so I'm hoping. Yeah. Yeah. I know of a few. Oh, and I should update because like I reached out to the principal. Oh, yeah. About all the videos.
Speaker: And I left a note for the teacher. On Monday, there were no videos. So I thought, haha, it worked. I won. Yeah. But then Tuesday, there was one Danny Go video. And then yesterday, there was one Danny Go video.
Speaker: So and now I'm proposing that we donate a boombox to the teacher and some CDs. We have one. Can I? All right. I'll just take it with me. Cassettes. Right there. ah Actually, we have two right now.
Speaker: Do you need to? We're selling them. How much? We'll see. I'm not sure what the price will be. Oh, no, but I want a CD boombox. No, no, it's not CDs. Okay, yeah, I need that. And we have one. Why not MP3?
Speaker: Well, I just want it to be a thing. We just press it. Yeah, put it in, yeah. Hit play, get some CDs, and then that can be the brain break video because, you know, they have nowadays the brain break. why not brain break music? Yeah.
Speaker: Why do we need the frenetic crazy video? Yeah. Yeah. I don't want it. I don't want she says He says he doesn't look at the screen. He's very loyal. He said didn't dance and I didn't look at the screen. Because I told him, I'm like, yeah, these videos are bad for your brain.
Speaker: I've been reading way too much lately about the effects. Tell me more. What have you what have you been reading? like you're li like you're What are the materials you're reading? You're exerting like the parts of your brain that are lit up when you're watching stuff. is It's just like it looks like you're dead, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. like you might as well be dead. like That's what's happening in your brain. You're just a little deaf, as they call it in French. Yeah. And then there's all this stuff about like you're much less able to complete harder tasks after right watching that stuff. and but So the fact that they're showing this stuff at school, like, okay, let's watch this crazy Danny Go video. It's your brain break. And then now we're going sit down and you're going to write sentences.
Speaker: Right. Brain break should just be like, yeah, music and dancing around. That would be fine. Yeah. But the overstimulating videos. But also it's funny in the book. It's like.
Speaker: The teachers are mad at the parents for letting the kids watch TV all day and saying like it's messing up their attention spans. And now they're just like, well, we'll just cut out of the middleman and show them TV all day at school. It's bleak.
Speaker: It is little bleak. I mean, I watched – what? Did you wake up – I'd wake up early and on Saturday and they'd – No, I watched Saturday morning cartoons. I watched TV be constantly as a kid. And I know it's bad. Did you have a TV in your room?
Speaker: ah Not until I was a little older. Or for a while, i had a TV in my room that could only play VHS tapes. so i didn't have t i didn't have access to TV because my parents said I didn't i couldn't they said i couldn't get cable in my room.
Speaker: was i And I believed that yeah for years. why would you know any different? ah I mean, a honesty I was always so envious of people that had TVs in their room. We had one TV in the basement. That's good. i mean, the record player in the living room. like um Yeah, because, you know, my mom has always been a bit of a Luddite.
Speaker: I mean, she has a smartphone now, but... yeah How much time does she spend on her phone now? No, no. She just, she goes to WhatsApp or to contact people. and She uses it as a phone and to look at pictures. It's great. Because so many of the boomers But she's watching the news. The news is all, she watches TV. Like the TV, v although she loves Jeopardy. So that, and she feels like it's a bit of a brain exercise for her because she's like pink.
Speaker: Coming up with the answers. Yelling wrong answers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, I got a few of them right, you know. um But the news can be.
Speaker: The news really can suck her in, yeah, to like – Because it's all just anxiety spiral. And it's Prilosec commercials. And they're making, you know, it's like that's when she'll call and be like, are you okay if like anything happens in California? Oh, yeah, of course. If there was a fire 14 miles away. Yeah, nobody ever realizes like the geographical span of Los Angeles. That it's like it's like it's in a completely different city. Although I get mad. I feel but like people don't check in on me when things happen. Like my parents like never check in and if there's a fire. And I'm like.
Speaker: You know, it's kind of close. so m why don Well, maybe they're less anxious, than my I mean. Yeah. Or they just don't love me. Maybe they're not watching news. Yeah, they don't love you. That must be what it is.
Speaker: Because they're dev they're ah they're not watching as much. they don't They've never been TV news people. Like they never were really – they never got into Fox News. Yeah. My mom watches, she says to like see what, and she doesn't use this language, but it's basically like see what the enemy is up to. wants to know what they're thinking yeah so she can predict what's going to happen. She also listens to the radio, like the CBC News and BBC News. like She'll listen to that stuff. Yeah, she's consuming too much news. She's very much. Both my parents my whole life like felt like it was their duty to know current events at all times. like
Speaker: like Does she read a newspaper? They used to get the newspaper. i feel like just a newspaper is good. You can get everything. It can be good. Just because you don't need to be that up to date.
Speaker: I would love if we won the lottery, like to start um a weekly free local paper would be incredible. Like bring back LA weekly, but like, you know, just for our neighborhood. real I mean, there are certainly there are a lot of hot new l LA newsletters on Substack and whatnot. Yeah.
Speaker: Um, That are pretty good. But I want like in those boxes everywhere. like but it didn't wouldn't have to be hyperlocal. It could be like a large. But with physical, you're saying physical. Physical, like that people could take it and look at it you know, like. No, that would be Yeah.
Speaker: And ah surely someone is rich enough around here to fund that. But would they? if it doesn't make them even richer. I feel like money lot of time just buys you fear of losing the money. Like have lot of money. And they don't spend any it. You're just scared of losing the money. mean, I'd be scared probably because I'd be like, this is my ticket to freedom. better not lose it. Yeah.
Speaker: i don't know. How do you think you'd feel if you were like suddenly rich? It's so hard to picture. always just figured I would never be rich because I just don't have the personality for it. Like I just- For wealth? I'm not the type of person who would ever even become rich. What do you mean? You have to be like car sales mini? No, no. just I just don't have it in me. I just don't. I'm like incapable of becoming rich. You mean like you don't have the drive make lot money? Yeah, I've never cared. And I just think it's immoral to have a lot of money. Okay. So you just give it all away?
Speaker: Yeah. Like if you won the lottery or something. If I won the lottery. Yeah, I guess I would give it away. Maybe buy a house. I don't even know.
Speaker: i guess, yeah, I would try to buy the house we're living in.
Speaker: And then I would buy our neighbor because I wouldn't want to become our neighbor's landlord. Right. So I would buy, i would give her the money so she can buy her house. Yeah. We'd have to split them up. And then you just own the home.
Speaker: Yes. And then you give the rest away to like, whatever, charity or something. Yeah. Friends. Friends. stay good site But I also have never bought a lottery ticket. So I don't know if I'm going to be winning the lottery anytime soon. Well, it's more just like if a bunch of money fell in your lap somehow. Like, you know. How would that happen?
Speaker: don't know.
Speaker: Maybe someone you know. I sold something. Maybe someone who knows you from the playground that dies and just was like, I'm going to leave it all. Yeah. I'm going to leave it all.
