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EP. 30 Nosferatu (2024)
123 Plays1 year ago
The guys read some fan mail and go over their physical media hauls. They also review the newest Robert Eggers' film Nosferatu!
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Email the pod at 2guys1screenpod@gmail.com
Leave us a voicemail to be answered on the pod! 508-834-7847
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Transcript
Introductions and Alternate Names
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello and welcome to episode number 30. We've definitely recorded more than 30 episodes though. I mean, we're probably we probably got 40 in us, 45. For sure. um Of the two guys, one screen podcast, AKA the Hemorrhoid Homies, AKA the Po Town Boys. ah My name is Nick. And I'm Gerald. And today it is finally here, our highly anticipated review of
00:00:30
Speaker
That's a great pull man, I have seen that episode I'm on record saying I've never watched spongebob, but I have seen that episode Well, that's good cuz that's like an iconic episode,
Iconic Spongebob Episode Discussion
00:00:40
Speaker
right? Oh, that's easily top five on most people's lists Yeah We're gonna talk about that movie ah Apologies for the weird ah audio thing if you were there when that happened. I mean, I'll take that one on the chin. That was on me. I don't know what the fuck I was doing. It was very strange. I was like listening to it in the car. I was like, what the fuck? Like gremlins.
00:01:04
Speaker
Well, this is wrong. harry but I knew it was like Christmas, right? I think it happened on Christmas. So quin I knew you were busy and I don't have access. I was getting cooked. Yeah. I mean, even if you did have access, you could do anything to it because all the all the Like audio files are saved onto my computer. Right. So it is. it it But ah we did get a good response from ah from those episodes. So thank you for that. Those will definitely be on the all time. It's going to be hard because let's face it between that episode.
00:01:37
Speaker
between gremlins black christmas and harry potter that could fill out like an entire best of episode man yeah right like i'm so i'm so excited to like listen back uh to the first harry potter we recorded which by the way i i'll i mean i'll give you the login you can listen to that now i had that already scheduled posted to come oh that's sick so if you want to listen to that one you can You're a fucking stud muffin. aye I mean, sometimes. ah
Social Media and Listener Interactions
00:02:04
Speaker
Should we? do What should we do first? We should do the plug it in first. Oh, got yeah, for sure. bloody ah So follow us on Instagram. Two guys, one screen pod. Send any comments, concerns, movie requests to two guys, one screen pod at Gmail dot com. Follow us on letterboxed and make sure to send us a voicemail at five oh eight, eight fist us. Five oh eight, eight dip tip.
00:02:29
Speaker
And I'll say it, you can follow us on TikTok, ah Two Guys One's green pod, because apparently Trump's trying to not ban it. I was going to say that. He's like, i I can't do a Trump impression, but he was like, he was like, I won like 30 percent of like the the team, not the team, the youth vote. 30 percent of the youth really wants to keep this TikTok thing around. So I think if we keep it around, it'll be huge.
00:02:58
Speaker
yeah so maybe we're not going anywhere but you know get on get on over there to uh to instagram too just in case to be just in case yeah uh speaking of of movie requests emails we did receive we have a email That actually deserves the... It's been 30 episodes. We got our first email. It's been a while. ah So this is from your cousin, actually. My cousin. The one that I called a slut on the Gremlins episode. Which, by the way, I have apologized privately for that. I'll apologize publicly. Slut is a little bit of a harsh word to call her. She didn't deserve that. It is kind of crazy. ah
00:03:39
Speaker
Her little caption says, message from, quote, the slut. That's how you know she's cool with it. Right. So, you know, shout out you. um Can I say her name? Yeah, go. Yeah, just, you know, in our government name, but, you know, it doesn't say it on here. So we're good. Shadow k Christina. She heard message says, hey, fuckers, you need to do a podcast on a Bronx tale.
00:04:06
Speaker
Goodfellas, Jeepers Creepers, and probably the wildest movie I spit on your grave. That's the one that I was crazy. That's what I was calling her out on, because she had called me the week before he did the Gremlins episode and told me I spit on your grave. And I was like, I'm not telling Gerald to do an episode on that unless you tell him your email. That's really the only way you were going to find out. ah You guys are really funny as fuck. And that's the email. Thank you.
00:04:35
Speaker
Thank you, we appreciate it. We appreciate it. We will put we will put those on the ah on the list for when we get time. um also Also shout out Christina, because she also followed our TikTok account. Let's go. So there's that. Big W's. Like I said, it's like fourth quarter garbage time minutes right here, getting some followers on TikTok before it all goes away. Yeah, man. ah I think she knows. She must have acted like she forgot. You
Jeepers Creepers Debate
00:05:01
Speaker
definitely know. I'm not the biggest fan of Jeepers Creepers.
00:05:04
Speaker
So many people say that to me. The ending is pretty good, but the rest of it I really don't care about. I mention it to so many people and they're like, yeah, I don't really like that movie. Now I get it. The director is a pedophile and we don't condone any of that. So the legacy of those movies are kind of down the shitter. ah But, you know, but like we've said in this podcast, you got to separate the art from the artist. Absolutely. Michael Jackson touched kids, but he was one of the greatest musicians of all time. yeah King of Pop. Absolutely.
00:05:34
Speaker
So, uh, yeah, we don't, you know, encourage that kind of behavior, but don't touch kid, but still could be good. Keep the grief. There's still slaps. Um, maybe we could do that down the road somewhere. I think, I feel like with what we're reviewing that I spit on your grave. Like what's, with what's coming down the pike as far as movies we have in the schedule. Like that we're not that far off from that movie. I just really don't like that movie.
00:06:01
Speaker
The OG or the remake? think She didn't specify. I think she means the remake because that's the one she told me to watch. Okay. I also don't like Wes Craven's version either. I think they're both. Oh, he did Last House on the Left. Yeah. Which is not I Spit on Your Grave. Another rape movie, but... Yeah, I got confused. I don't ah like that movie either. And I haven't seen the original I Spit on Your Grave, so... I own it.
00:06:26
Speaker
There's that. Who put that out? Anchor Bay, I think because it has the remake and it's a two pack. There you go. Two pack. Kind of hard to find, though. Um. Bronx Tale has been my watch list. She actually recommended to me when I first got a letterboxed. So i'm I'm game to do Bronx Tale after I watch it. If it's like, you know, have you seen it? I never heard of it. What's it about?
00:06:50
Speaker
It's kind of like a mafia mob. I haven't seen it I don't know but it's like a mafia vibe kind of movie I think and With good fellas who hasn't seen good fellas, right? Right. I mean good fellas Funny story with me and good fellas and I'm pretty sure this is why she Recommended this one besides the fact that she loves this movie. I Tried to watch good fellas like three times and and like finish it and I could never get through it. It's a long one for sure. No, I was bored. I didn't want to watch it. I would just turn it off. Not a big mob guy. Speaking of movies that I turned off Godzilla from 1998. What the fuck was that? Oh, my God. Oh, i I mean, dog shit, absolute dog shit. But anyways, I sat myself down and forced myself to watch. ah Good fellas. And it was it's very good.
00:07:44
Speaker
Joe Pesci. Joe Pesci. Hot take, I like ah um like the godfather more. Actually, I i technically don't. Never mind. Is that a hot take, though? i think I think people who like Goodfellas more than the godfather is a hot take. I'm pretty sure. You've seen Casino? Casino's great. OK. That's better. Love Casino. Shout out ah shout out you for giving me the digi. Got you. Got you, at you dog. ah Should we get into some physical media
Movie Purchases and Gifts
00:08:10
Speaker
pickups? This is the the the Christmas hall.
00:08:13
Speaker
Yeah, I got a Christmas haul for y'all. Well, one of these I bought myself, but we'll get into that as my own Christmas gift to myself. Should I go because I only have two? Yeah, I got nine. So you might as well go first. So I've had some stuff in my Amazon ah cart cart for a while.
00:08:29
Speaker
And I needed something from Amazon this week, so I just hit the order button and I was like, all right, what comes comes? I do that all the time, dude. Yeah. ah This is a this is a big one for me that, you know, I've been dying for for I've been fiending for this i frailty. Hey, here you go. There you go. Couldn't find it in the wild. I'm basically giving up and find this movie in the wild. I know now that I own this, I'll find it. It's how it goes. Go ahead. How much what did you pay? I don't remember, but I'm pretty sure it's like seven dollars.
00:08:59
Speaker
Uh, what a good deal. I pay yeah more. um Great film if you haven't seen this movie. I recommend Feralty 2. Literally everybody. We're using the pod. I love Feralty. I'm down. ah The next one, this is this is the one I think you're going to be shocked at. This is the first movie that I acknowledge is like a half star, and I bought it anyways. Typically I don't buy movies that are bad, um but I could resist the urge. It is a steelbook.
00:09:27
Speaker
And it's star movie and it is ah mean one. Oh That's clean though o the it I mean, that's Lily David Howard Thornton on the front as the Grinch. That's clean um This I don't know whose company's but I have a couple steel books from them. It's the sea. It looks like Chappelle see but it's not Chappelle Oh, yeah, it does. I've never seen that logo. I have a couple John's there like this, huh? um This movie I watched for the first time I pirated it and we here go And there's one scene in particular that stood out to me is ah
00:10:04
Speaker
Part of it takes place in a pizza parlor because for some reason Damien Leone loves to shoot in pizza parlor. hope ah And this guy opens a box from a delivery and he goes, I ordered bell peppers, not jingle bells. And then he gets murdered. The fuck? o That's terrible. It's so bad. I think I paid $20 for this. I don't care. It's on the wall. it was It was. I pulled it down so you wouldn't see it, but it's on the wall. It's clean. Very clean looking.
00:10:34
Speaker
I kind of want to watch it. It's not for the pod. I just want to watch you like how bad it is. Come with a digi. Probably not. No. Yeah. But the inside, ah I'll show you the inside real quick. All right. Get this disc out of the way. It's a candy cane shotgun.
00:10:50
Speaker
Okay, that's sick. Right? I mean, they had, there's some sauce here, but the, I mean, I just remember the plot being horrible. the dialogue being Right. See, that's the thing. Like some, some low quality movies can be like really fucking bad, but they're fun to watch. You know? Right. Which is why this is still a half star. I mean, I think you're ready to one star, but I'm pretty, it's, I acknowledge how bad this is like one of the worst movies ever made. And I bought it. Hey.
00:11:17
Speaker
You know, because I was trying to think of like what other movies I know are shit that I bought. And the only thing I could come up with was Rise of Skywalker. Yeah, but we all own that. Yeah, because like completionist. Right. You had to. But you did. I upgraded all my Star Wars movies to 4K, which was costly, very costly. um I've also thought about doing that with the MCU, but the MCU all on 4K be crazy.
00:11:45
Speaker
Yeah, if you trade it all, if you trade them all in, including that big John, we both have. That's kind of the only thing that's putting me off. I like the big John takes a lot of room, though, on the shelf.
00:11:57
Speaker
um Yeah, Parmesan, by the way, I didn't see that. but It was it was like three up. I was fucking crying. That was fucking amazing. Like Parmesan, Parmesan. You see that thing I sent you this morning?
00:12:11
Speaker
No, because I literally woke up and sat down and record. Oh, that's fine. You can, you can listen to it off, uh, after the pod. Yeah. Sounds good. Let's get into your, your hall, dude, the big Christmas hall. So I have these in order of excitement to most excitement, least the most. This is least. Okay. Good. That's, that's the proper way to do it. Uh, mostly because apparently this was on my like save for later. And I don't remember having this in my save for later, but Anna bought it for me anyway.
00:12:39
Speaker
And then let us know which one you bought yourself. Yeah, I will. I will. It's the last one. Okay. Not because of it's exciting, but because of what it is, it's well I just want to save it for the last. It's kind of like hand jeff. No one can do it better than you can, right? Like you can like she can try to buy you movies, but at the end of the day, you know what you want to want to gift yourself. Right. All right. ah So this is called The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms. Who put that drawn out? Warner Brothers. Oh.
00:13:08
Speaker
Uh, it looks like a stereotypical, like Godzilla ripoff. Cause it's from like that era. Which by the way, I walked the Godzilla criteria on 1954 movies. Good. Sorry. It's fine. This movie. I think it's great. This came out a year earlier, 1953. Hmm. And is it a foreign film or it's, it's us of a USA shadow. Mr. Futterman. Uh, this is exciting.
00:13:38
Speaker
Exciting special effects by Rarry, what, Rarry, Ray Harryhausen. Okay, so we got stop motion. That's exciting. That's probably why I put it on here. Who's Ray Harryhausen? Uh, he did, he was big in like the stop motion in like the early days. Okay. Yeah. Harryhausen sounds like a nice car.
00:14:00
Speaker
after Well, there you go. I'm glad we got used to the button. Yeah. So there's that. I don't remember. wanting this, but cool. there ah This was high up on my wish list. Not high up, but like most recently put in my save for later. So that's probably why she bought this, but I wanted it anyway. Blu-ray of Abigail. Have you seen it? No. um But that movie is so weird because they spoil the the twist in the trailer. Right.
00:14:32
Speaker
it It would have been a lot better. Like everybody knows she's a vampire. Is there a digi in there? There's a digi. Oh, it's streaming. Never mind. yeah I mean, I'll give you the digi. I don't care. OK. Anything that has a digi here, you can have. All right. But that I'll take it. ah The the rare thing where Universal remade their own movie, ah the 4K of Phantom of the Opera and not the 1920s Phantom of the Opera. This is the 1950s Phantom of the Opera.
00:15:02
Speaker
Have you seen it? No, I've seen the OG. OG is classic. Really good. The silent one. Yeah. ah You can have the digi for this. I've only seen the ah the newest one. Yeah, this is the one that's like by Jackman. Who's in the newest one? Yeah, Jackman. This is the one that's classified in the universal monsters. um John, but I know it's the OG. OG is the best. Just watch it. The silent one.
00:15:30
Speaker
Have you seen that film that you that that was one 50s one? Yeah. No, that's why I i wanted it. ah I wanted to see it. Copy. And it's the Canon one. ah This one is from Anna's aunt. ah Shout out to her. Shout out to her. I'm not going to drop your name because you're somebody in life. um ah The 4K of Deadpool and Wolverine. Oh, shh is this D or just the 4K?
00:15:56
Speaker
Nah, just a 4k. The Steelbook's fucking insane. That'd be a ah real ass gift you did that. That'd be insane money. Yeah. I like this movie. I wanted it. Scared to rewatch it. I'll give you the digi. The next one up is a Blu-ray, not the 4k.
00:16:15
Speaker
fucking okay big reveal on the return to the fucking return of the glare I am gonna buy a curtain rod I'm gonna command strips make curtain rod holder so I can get a fucking curtain for this room and black away that much yeah no ah So the fork the 4k of this I did not get ah but this is a blu-ray. It's good enough um The visit finally, hey You got you got a visit to you. It's a good that's that's my one of my hottest takes It's like a top 3 M night for me Okay signs fuck ah I like the sixth sense now. I don't like it before I like it now. um I actually have the visit ready to hire then Then the sixth sense Christmas movie. No That one it might be
00:17:00
Speaker
Got some Christmas shit on the back. I, uh, I really liked that movie a lot. I gave it a four and a half. All right. I think finally, finally watch it. Have you seen it? No. Oh, let's do it for the pod, dude. All right. Is set a Halloween one or is it like a, it could be an anytime one. And there's Christmas show. We can save it towards it. I think we should review it whenever. All right. That sounds good to me. Whatever. So I kind of knew I was getting this one.
00:17:27
Speaker
Okay, because I saw it. It was finally back in stock on Amazon. So I told Anna I was like yo fucking grab this while you can I don't know if it's going out of stock, but it's the blu-ray of in a violent nature ah It has been hard to find has been very hard to find um No digi kids a shutter release. I'm sorry But it's got the slip. So that's fire. I use your shutter. That's true um Great movie is it I like it. Didn't you drop your rate into the three? I dropped it to a three, but three's still good. Three's any way? Great movie is like four. I don't know if you're saying i' the same great movie to a three star movie. ah Yeah, that's true.
00:18:10
Speaker
ah So here we go. These two, the next two come from. and mom show these um These are fucking bangers, dude. Uh, digi for this. If you want it. The 4k of the sixth sense. Oh, there you go. Big W here. I have a Blu-ray of that copy. So I don't need the digi, but that's pretty cool. Big W on this. Yeah. Those are like movies. We both gen kept seeing and then just never pull the trigger on. Right. It's one of those ones. It's like, all right, somebody else do buy this for me. Yeah. And with the, uh,
00:18:42
Speaker
This came out with signs. um And I know they were both kind of at least in person. They're kind of hard to find. They were going in and out of stock, too. So. W. but So this is this is this is fire. Anna's mom also bought me this and she said she wants to order this for herself. Wow. All right. That's big, huh? So I i unwrapped it because I haven't seen the steelbook. All right. Because it's hidden.
00:19:11
Speaker
It's the oil I reveal of the steelbook. Yeah. The 80th anniversary of the Wizard of Oz. Do I I've seen that in bull moose, chapel moose, like a lot and I haven't bought it. Big, big pack, John. Yeah, I know. i Yeah, I've seen it. Oh, look at the back of the box. Oh, there you go. All right, clean. Very cool. Let's see the steel.
00:19:43
Speaker
Oh, mid. What's the inside look like, though? and That's a big the backs better. I should have been on the front. You could hang it up backwards on the wall though if you wanted to. Digi, you want Digi? To the Wizard of Oz? I don't own it, actually. OK. Let's take these dicks out.
00:20:06
Speaker
New pressing, that's nice. I was worried they were just gonna stick the fucking old 4K in here, but they're new disc pressings. Let's say 85th anniversary. Lit. ah
00:20:20
Speaker
Uh... It's fine. Yeah, you're right, it's fine. But like you shared on our Glicit episode, Wizard of Oz, like all-time favorite for you, so it makes sense. It is. So I really wanted this. This is gonna, even though the Steel Books is like, you know, it's fine, it's still gonna go on the wall. ah Sure, 100%. J-card though, that's nice. Love love J-cards. save Save the J-card. I didn't open it, but it also came with ah collectibles.
00:20:52
Speaker
Comes with a preview of the OG theater ticket. That's cool. Uh, Chinese theater, uh, program for art cards from the original posters and eight theater lobby cards. Also for maybe for you, but for the listener, the Chinese theater is a famous theater in LA. Yes. Which is where like a lot of the premier movie prayers happen. I'm assuming this is it debuted there. I'm assuming. um Yeah. I'm also assuming but we don't know. 19 fucking 30 whenever, right.
00:21:24
Speaker
Okay, so this one I bought myself. Oh, the last, all right, here we go. This is it. Here we go. i you're you're You're hyping this up, but I promise you. All right. I was in my movie store the other day. Shout out to him. Shout out to him. I saw this, okay? One, this is a, this is a steel book, all right? All right. Let me take it out of the cover. It came in a protective. Oh, pretty out okay.
00:21:53
Speaker
This is a this is an import. From Spain, from Spain, Spain. I have a Spanish import here and you can watch it region free. Yes.
00:22:08
Speaker
Let me see it. What is it? I paid $40 for this. I want to just. Oh, boy. Comes with a J card. That's nice. This is the Spanish import. Oh, my God.
00:22:23
Speaker
for attack of the killer tomatoes and return of the killer tomatoes you just ah just just what what oh man what looking at the back of this right have you seen eye of those movies fuck no you paid $40 that's a crazy blind buy dude that's almost as crazy as that superior fork that you bought so the first movie came out in 1978 And then the sequel didn't come out until 1988. But look at this. This is probably gonna be... Look at that. Look at that. Dude, I don't know what to say to you. I'll be honest with you. and Was it called killer tomatoes? Attack of the killer tomatoes.
00:23:17
Speaker
Literally attack of the killer Tamir's has a point five on letterbox a point five. That's the lowest rating I've ever seen that's exciting Remember how I said I watched shit movies. Well, yeah, we'll get a j-card There's someone laying in a grocery store go back down to the corner of it as a number Yeah, it's uh, it's numbered. It's number 148 That is limited edition. I don't know. I didn't see it 1500. There you go
00:23:48
Speaker
Okay. dude That's a collector piece, and I'm not gonna argue with that. These are probably some of the worst movies. They're probably terrible. They're probably fucking horrible. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, on any other day, they're probably just... you the So I saw that I... I looked it up. there's theres Yeah, there's only one on eBay right now. How much you go for? It's going for 80, and I paid 40. There you go. Lit. Is it exciting? Fuck no.
00:24:18
Speaker
by But you don't know, I haven't seen it yet. It could be exciting. it could It could be a mean one thing, right? So bad it's good. It could be a five star movie. In the fucking way. Mean one's bad. That's not so bad, it's good, it's just bad. But it's fun, right? you but Yeah, but like we've discussed, fun does not mean it's good. No. You're right. This is this is this is probably gonna be fun to watch, but it's gonna be bad.
00:24:39
Speaker
Same with this, right? It's probably like this is glossy. It looks clean. Shout out David Howard Thornton. Oh, this is this is 3D. I don't know if I really suck your cock. What? This is 3D.
Mufasa Movie Review
00:24:51
Speaker
When you say 3D, what does that mean? Because I need glasses to see 3D. Fuck off. Like it's as texture. It's got i see it it's lifted. Hmm. But look, even though it's got like fancy shit on the side. Yeah, they went off, you know.
00:25:08
Speaker
They went off, it and it's limited edition, and you peep that, so that's exciting, right? I am one of 1,500 people in the world to own this. Who who hasn't thrown it in the garbage yet?
00:25:19
Speaker
um yeah Right. We'll see how long it takes. I mean I guess technically Anna's grandma bought that for me because I used her money that she gave me. Shout out to her. Oh I didn't mean to throw away Anna's grandmother but that's what it is. Speaking of shitty movies I did want to hear your thoughts on Mufasa because you went and saw it and I never saw a letterbox reading or a log so I am curious. Also tell the listener that you, the the all of it okay? Make sure you tell them the whole entire thing.
00:25:53
Speaker
What whole entire thing? About that movie you haven't seen. I have never seen The Lion King. Which is kind of crazy. It's kind of crazy, right? Yeah, you have a movie podcast. and Never seen, sorry. Never seen The Lion King. Like one of like Disney's greatest, right? Yeah. Except for those steel books. What the fuck were those? o Oh, yeah. I've been looking for the OG on 4K. I don't know if it exists or not, but I haven't found it.
00:26:22
Speaker
I have the Blu-ray and I have the remake, like the live action remake. That's the only one call hey one I can find. Yeah, I have that on 4K. um
00:26:32
Speaker
So I knew that Mufasa was a prequel, right? Also, how do you end up where you're like, I'm going to go see Mufasa? I had nothing to do. Oh, wow. All right. That's where my life's come to. That's why I saw Kraven. But yeah, we or even I was curious about Kraven. I liked it. So that was cool.
00:26:52
Speaker
Yeah. I gave Kraven a three star. That's fun. Me too. So if you ever wondered, so obviously I know the story of Lion King, right? I don't know. I guess. Do I? I don't know. move ah Scar kills Mufasa, right? That what happens? Yeah, I think so. Scar kills Mufasa, Simba becomes Lion King. Circle of Life, Rafiki, all that shit.
00:27:22
Speaker
Yeah. So if you ever thought to yourself, does Lion King need a prequel on how Mufasa became who he was? I think no one's ever thought that besides this dumb fucking Disney executives. Well, I'll tell you right now, the answer is fucking no. All right. This is two hours of... Skip. Oh, big skip. 100%. This is two hours of the worst pacing movie I've ever seen in my life. Like, there's no buildup to anything to happen. So it'll go from like, you you start when Mufasa's a cub ah He gets spoilers from Rufasa if you want to see it, I guess he gets lost right in the sauce quite literally the sauce He can't swim. There's a flood he gets lost he becomes like he meets up with these other lions, right? They yeah they basically call him a bitch and they're like you're a stray so they you gotta lose a bitch You have to go and like be with the females Literally what it was you gotta be a female
00:28:22
Speaker
Essentially oh by the way shout out Carlos. He told me that when I bleep like I shouldn't bleep anything cuz he knows what I'm saying That's fair. um He's like right there. He's like yeah, we get it. We know what you're saying That's fair, I'm still typing it fuck that yeah, you can't have that out in the world no um Grows up. There's these other fucking white lions who are like who? Active about everybody else cuz you're white. Yeah, <unk> we're gonna kill you cuz we're the only lions that are allowed to live Long story short His brother long drawn short. Yeah, he they have a kid right his name's like Tucker. I think I'm fucking what I
00:29:04
Speaker
Tucker! I think. It's like Tucka. Tuck... Tucko? I don't know. It'd be funny as fuck. They have all these like crazy ass names and they just named their kid Tucker. that's That's what it is. It's all like, you know, people like that. It's like Simone, Pumbaa, Mufasa, Scar, and we got Tucker. Tucker, yeah. Oh, Rafiki's telling this story, by the way, because Timon and Pumbaa are supposed to be babysi- It's like all, it's all a flashback. Because Timon and Pumbaa are supposed to be babysitting Simba's kid.
00:29:35
Speaker
Wait, Simba's kid. Simba's kid, yeah. Oh, oh, I understand. Okay. They're telling the story of Mufasa. Yeah. And Simba specifically said, don't tell stories. But then Rafiki shows up and he's like, I'm gonna tell a story. Yeah. Basically, he he finds they meet up with Rafiki for the first time. All that bullshit. Long John Silver Short. Yeah. Tucker, whatever the fuck his name is.
00:30:04
Speaker
sells him out to the motherfucking other lions that they're running away from. ah They get into a fight. Tucker, whatever the fuck his name is, so like, says like, don't hurt my brother gets a big scar on his face.
00:30:23
Speaker
He's Scar because- No wonder he changed his name. Fucking Tucker the shit-ass name. right Well, because Mufasa says, you can live here now with us, but I will no longer say your name. So he's like, you can call me Scar. ah What's the rating?
00:30:42
Speaker
A one. This is fucking shit, people. Oh, it's, it's Taka. Taka? T-A-K-A. Okay. Taka's name's dead. His name's fucking dog shit, alright? What's the average on letterbox? A 2.9. You're going to two, you said? You're going to one. Yeah.
00:31:00
Speaker
All right. Well, bad movie. The pacing is pacing is horrible. It's just jump, jump, jump, jump, jump. There's no like steady build up. It's like one minute. You're like, we're going this way. And then the immediate cut is like supposed to be like a day in advance. And now we're here. Every everybody that walked out of this movie was like, this is bad. This is bad. There's all the buttons.
00:31:27
Speaker
Uh, so there's your reaction. Well, there's something else we want to talk on the podcast. We said before we were going to talk about. Oh, so I. Think I might switch movie theaters like my. ah Because right now the I have the regal subscription.
00:31:47
Speaker
And the regal theater like. Projection is not good at all. We went to this- I was thinking my eyes were cooked, but maybe the projection's bad. It's the projection, okay? So I saw... Moana 2 at a Cinnamark. I'm not gonna go to Cinnamark. That's fucking way the fuck out there. But it looked like- Shout out Cinnamark. Shout out Cinnamark. It looked like- It looked like the Galaxy One in a Cinnamark. It literally looked like I was watching, like, you know, like, Disney Plus. Like, that's how clear this shit was. Damn, dude, that's streaming.
00:32:22
Speaker
Sorry. I know. ah But I saw Nosferatu at an AMC. Yeah. Which is not far from me. Yeah. And the quality was... Yeah.
00:32:36
Speaker
ah i'm We can talk about the quality of that movie in a minute, but... Sure. Regal, your time is up. ah You heard him. Regal, your time's up. You need to get... better projections do you think it's do you think it's unique just to that theater because i feel like the regal we went into as when we were growing up was not terrible it might be the one near me because i went and saw venom three at that one like as an adult and it didn't look like it wasn't Terrible, terrible. Okay. As far as the projection, the claw, like the, what the fuck Sony's doing is terrible. Sure. Yeah. Uh, we go to this one because they got reclining seats. They got, they got the Shabazz, the big Shabangs, not Shabazz, Shabazz Napier. Shout out to him. Who's that? He was an NBA player. Okay. Thanks for that. Uh, yeah, but I guess good segue into,
00:33:31
Speaker
I do it right. Is that the segue? That's great. That was fantastic. fuck Yeah. Unless you had anything else to say, but I'm done. No, I feel like I had something to say, but I forgot it. So we're I'll probably remember it in the Chamber of Secrets episode that we're doing after this. We'll get back to you. We'll get back to you on that. ah Yeah, we'll talk about. um We'll talk about Nosferatu now.
Nosferatu by Robert Eggers Review
00:33:54
Speaker
Nosferatu, obviously ah directed by someone who's becoming very prominent in today's movie, Landscape, as far as directors concerned, ah Robert Eggers. Eggboy.
00:34:09
Speaker
How much digging did you have to find that clip? So it was do it was like the first one. I searched, I searched, I searched it, Eggboy 2017. I immediately came up. Damn, that's crazy. That's a good pull, right? That's funny that's fantastic. I was very proud of that pull. I was very excited to show you that button. Becoming one of my favorite directors, I feel. He's, uh, well, Mr. Robert Lego, my ego. Uh, he has obviously put out, I made a, I have a ranking list of all his movies we can get to later. Uh, we won't do it now, but, uh, the witch, obviously I think is his most famous.
00:34:46
Speaker
ah Well known I guess this would be now when people talk right when people talk about Robert Eggers They go have you seen the witch like you like the witch you seen the witch was that was that that I think that was his directorial debut Yeah, which I also heard he doesn't even like that movie cuz he thinks it's cringe cuz his first film I Would call it cringe. I did the math. I'm gonna tell her joy is supposed to be 20 in that movie She looks like she's like 14 Yeah, but you see her ass, so like you know, she's of age. So that's nice, right? So yeah, the witch is good. The witch is good. The Northman, I don't think you've seen that. I've never seen that. Anya's in that too, right? Anya's in all of his movies. Oh, she's not in the lighthouse, is she? No, she's not in the lighthouse, because there's only two more. Oh, why do we say that? Yeah, I don't know. The Northman is good. Nosferatu in the lighthouse. The lighthouse, we'll talk about that movie later, but also I saw that
00:35:39
Speaker
Pointing at you, sir. I saw this today. ah Robert Eggers has officially signed Willem Dafoe for his next two movies. The Night.
00:35:54
Speaker
That's the next movie he's making. It's called The Night. Oh, well, Willem Dafoe is going to be in it because I already I already added it to my watch list on letterbox.
00:36:01
Speaker
um I'll read you your cast for Nosferatu. Yeah, we're not giving you a scene by scene, but we will spoil it. Obviously. Yeah, we should say that. Spoilers, Jake, go fucking watch it. Actually, I shouldn't even say this because he thought maybe he wasn't going to go see it, so who cares? Again, Nosferatu, this is one of the most anticipated movies of the year, I feel like. For sure. You got your long legs, you got your Nosferatu's.
00:36:26
Speaker
Oh, in the horror genre? Yeah. Yeah. You know, you're your Deadpool versus Wolverines. This is this is one of them. um Again, directed by Mr. Robert Eggers. Egg boy. We forgot to mention ah that Olivia Hussie, I believe, passed away. She was Jess in ah Black Christmas and the only good part of that moog, I think. Yeah, for sure. going That's really loud, huh? She a piece. Piece. Piece. Piece. I'd give her a nice titty fuck.
00:36:59
Speaker
ah ah Bill Skarsgård plays Count Orlock. Nicholas Hult plays Thomas Hutter. He's in everything now, huh? Nicholas Hult is a good actor. He's gonna be Lex Luthor. I don't know if I like him as Lex Luthor, but we'll see. He's bald. Yep. He's definitely wearing a bald cap. i for Yes. No cap. No cap. No cap. He's wearing a bald cap. For real. You heard it here first. On God. Deadass.
00:37:27
Speaker
ah Lily Rose Depp plays Ellen Hunter. I think she deserves a button hit it hit it hit it um yes oh go So i I swallowed some of my uh scum there I was getting excited because you see her fucking titties Yeah, you ah She a little lacking in the titty department, but it's okay um She's Johnny Depp's daughter I was trying to figure out who she was. Johnny Depp's daughter. Hot. Yeah. Yes. Willem Dafoe, who as I mentioned before is in like most of Robert Eggers' movies, is Professor Albin Ebbhart von Franz. Aaron Taylor Johnson, Craven himself. He was good in this. Friedrich Harding. You thought he was good?
00:38:20
Speaker
You didn't like him? No, I'm not. I don't think I didn't like him People though like really did not like his performance and I'm just kind of like it's it was fine I thought he did his job. Yeah, I think he was a role player I think he came off the bench and scored some points for sure. Yeah, I mean ah That's basically all I have to say about that people really like are like are like he does not belong this movie What the fuck was he doing here? I think it was fine like his character Yeah, or I don't know His character's important. I mean, his character fucks his dead wife, which is, like, literally all I could ever ask for. That's fine. Yeah. But, uh, have you not seen the original Nosferatu? I have. It's a prominent character. Have you not seen Dracula? People! I don't know if you know- I don't know if these fucking non-cinema snobs know this. Nosferatu is literally Dracula.
00:39:18
Speaker
But they couldn't get the rights. Right. Bram Stoker said, you ain't stoking, stroking my cock. No. So they just called him Nosferatu. Changed the character names. 100% agree with what you just said. You should. It's fucking fact. Fake news. The next one we got is Emma Corin, who plays ah Anna Harding. I think this is where we debut our new button.
00:39:49
Speaker
He ain't fuckin' it. He ain't fuckin' it. Is that the button we're gonna play when we're not fuckin' someone? That's what I think we should play. I agree. The doin' doin' is if we're fuckin' ya and then we're not fuckin' ya.
00:40:05
Speaker
i'm Literally saying if you're not fucking it If you know if you don't know what that comes from go listen to the black Christmas episode. Yeah, it's the titty fuck Reference as well. I mean we were on some mark. I know I always we were on some shit. We were on some shit Oh that day we recorded like two fucking gems Yeah um Yeah Ralph innocent plays dr. Wilhelm severs. I forgot his name severs. I think it's severs And Simon McBurney plays Knock. He low keyed and slept on as far as performance. He was like the red in the field in this movie. Yeah, he was great. I'm sorry. Molina Konstan Tenova plays Luis. I kind of killed that, actually. Never mind.
00:40:54
Speaker
Istanbul not Constantinople. I believe Louise was was one of the children and Adele has over place Clara the other daughter I Think it's what I had to shout out here So let's just get this. Yeah for sure. Let's just get this straight out of the way this movie Let's get this out of the way. Joe and I have not told each other anything anything. I have no idea what he thinks He has no idea what I think. Yeah. Okay, go ahead intentional Correct. This movie is so fucking horny. It is unbelievable. But I think it it has to be, right? Yeah, like Dracula movies and Nosferatu. Like these movies are inherently horny. Yeah. So I'm going to bring this up a lot like sucking on someone's neck is like hu hot. I wish we which we recorded video. Yeah, I can probably clip that. ah um I'm going to compare this a lot to the original just
00:41:52
Speaker
You know, as one would, right? I mean, I know 1922 silent movie compared to this is very different. However, go for it. The original Nosferatu was very horny, like the whole the whole premise of Nosferatu spoilers for anybody that hadn't seen the original or this. Is he he pretty much puts puts this bitch in a trance because he wants to fuck her.
00:42:23
Speaker
Essentially. He wants the sucker and fucker. He's down bad. Count Orlock is down bad. What do you think of Bill Skarsgard's performance? Well, it's not really Bill Skarsgard, is it? Because he's because he's covered in prosthetics. He told me I watched an interview with him. ah He said he couldn't see anything at all. No. And I also didn't fucking pull that show on. I'll pull it right now, though. I can get this up pretty easy, actually.
00:42:50
Speaker
Cut that yeah I mean. Cut that yeah I mean on accident. Did you also know that Bill? Bill? Well he's, I mean the prosthetics I think to reveal at the end of the at the end of the movie look great.
00:43:04
Speaker
I don't really know how I feel about the voice. The voice was strange. Is that, I don't know anybody from Transylvania? So if anybody's from Transylvania, can you tell me what your accent is? We got any trans people out there? I hope so. Is that what that means, or is Transylvania a real place? Transylvania's a real place, dude. Alright, well here it is. That's just where Dracula's from. That's just where Dracula's from, I guess.
00:43:24
Speaker
bar he kind of talk like wrists ah He kind of has like a kind of sounds like a cat. Yeah Do you know that the the the rats in this movie are real? They are real I watched an interview with him and he was talking ah Bill yeah, I know we're friends Bill scars guard the guy that's in like it. Yeah burying this He, that scene where Nicholas Holt's character has to like push the casket open and he's lying there covered in rats. Those are real rats. Okay. That's cool. I think that's, I mean, that's like a pretty big commitment to the bit. Are you going to talk more about Bill's performance or should I? It's, it's fine. Like he did his job. He's creepy.
00:44:17
Speaker
I don't know, I didn't love it. I don't like the mustache. That's what I don't like. oh people the The mustache has become very divisive. but Uh, I don't really know if I care or don't care about the mustache. It is odd that a dead person would have a mustache still, but, you know, hey, he's a fucking vampire. Who cares? He, yeah, who gives a fuck? That's not really what bothered me about this movie. I'll be, to be honest with you, like is his appearance. And then at the, they revealed the end in the daylight of the prosthetics look very cool, but they do a lot to kind of like conceal what he looks like. They use a lot of like lighting to, he's always in the shadows. Right. As he should, because he's a fucking,
00:44:53
Speaker
He's a vampire. You don't want to be in the sun. It kills him. He's a yuckin' vampire. Right. I'll say this. I think the standout performance of this movie was Lily Rose Depp, and I don't think it's even close. No, you're 100% correct.
00:45:12
Speaker
I yeah, I mean, I think she was amazing. I think she deserves an Oscar nomination for best supporting or best main. I don't know who really is the main character here. And because everyone kind of gets equal screen time, I'd say, besides Nosferatu. Yeah, I was a little too. Besides Count Orlok. Yeah, sorry. ah Because Nosferatu essentially means vampire. Yeah.
00:45:37
Speaker
um Her and Willem Dafoe, I would say. I love Willem Dafoe. I love Willem Dafoe. Willem Dafoe's great in everything he's in. you I could, well, if you're gonna say that, I can counter.
00:45:49
Speaker
point me in a bad willing to foe movie. There's only one, I've only seen one bad willing to foe movie where he, even he's not good and it like, Beeljuice, Beeljuice is bad. Are you gonna say anti-Christ? But he's good. No, I'm not gonna say anti-Christ. Okay. He gets his dick cut off. I gotta, dude, shout out to you. Yo, you saw Bill Skarsgard's fucking peace in this movie. Yeah.
00:46:12
Speaker
I heard it's a prosthetic piece. Aw, damn, I thought he was really fucking packing. I bet he is, though. He's gotta be, right? If you can move your eyes in different directions, you're packing something. A gun. All right. Cut that. I don't know. All right. ah ah tell me Tell me about the one Willem Dafoe movie that's bad. Willem Dafoe is in a movie called Light Sleeper. It's like a crime thriller. hes He's the main character. It's terrible. Really bad. Really boring. The movie's bad or he is bad? he's Dude, he couldn't save it. he's not none of that There's nothing redeeming about it. That's the one Willem Dafoe movie I've seen that I haven't liked. Willem Dafoe might be one of my favorite actors.
00:46:53
Speaker
I'm not saying Mike, he is one of mine. He's great, dude. He's very, very good. And I really feel like his performances up until the Robert Eggers era, we'll call it, were more contained in like, ah just kind of woman to foe being an actor. You can argue a little bit in Green Goblin, but I feel like in these movies that he's done with Robert Eggers, he's really been able to like express himself as an actor. Right. I feel like he's currently in the situation like with Nicolas Cage, like a career renaissance because of horror. Oh, I agree with that. I love that these big name actors are going into the horror genre and just absolutely killing it.
00:47:40
Speaker
Also, just for the record, what I just said about the Eggers era, that encompasses 10 years, because The Witch came out in 2015. Just to celebrate him. Yeah. In case anybody forgot. He's killing shit. He's killing shit. He's very good in this. Primarily, not primarly. Primarily does horror. The Northman's not horror, though, right? No, it's like the Vikings. Yeah, it's like a revenant revenge movie. That's fine. That's cool. That's pretty good. Ethan Hawke's in that movie.
00:48:09
Speaker
You don't like Ethan Hawke. And guess what? He gets fucking decapitated in the first 10 minutes. Love it. Fucking happy. you Fucking so happy, dude. I could. Dude, I was fucking. OK, elated. One of my big, probably my biggest.
00:48:26
Speaker
Compliment to this movie, besides the cast and like everybody's performance. The cinematography, the way this is shot. Is beautiful, in my opinion.
00:48:40
Speaker
i just I just think my eyes are cooked. They might be. I don't know what to say. I've i really felt watching this that a lot of it was too dark. But I think it could be my eyes. Yes, but it's also like 1800s. I know it's intentional. I i get that. Their dead ass was no electricity. It's a very, very solid observation you made there, dude. Thank you. um and Yeah.
00:49:07
Speaker
There was very little if there was any CGI. It was very well done. I think only maybe the dog like dogs is the dogs are real. No, but they looked good.
00:49:22
Speaker
Yeah. um And maybe some. Well, they're in the yeah. In the Oh, the biggest the biggest one that looks really bad is when towards the end of the film where Nicholas Hall is running home because he realizes that or looks not in the casket. Oh, yeah. It's like a zoom in of his face and he's running. It looks I mean, I was like appalled at how bad that looked.
00:49:43
Speaker
Yeah, but I'm not going to show this movie. I'm just saying it looked good. Besides that, the majority, everything looks practical, like even when it's in the trailer, but when Nosferatu's hand, like shadows coming over the. Yeah. Town. I think that was probably like a dead like a real shadow and then just miniatures. Yeah, likely. Yeah. I mean, I don't know how hard it is to do CGI ah kind of a CGI shadow. I don't know. I'm not involved in it. Right. ah But.
00:50:13
Speaker
It's a slow burn. first i told So I told you, I was ready for it, but slow, slow. um Which most Robert Eggers movies are. I haven't seen the Northman. I was going to talk about that later with the ranking. I'll get touch on the Northman. um But The Witch, I had to watch The Witch twice because I couldn't. The Witch was one of my first slow burn movies.
00:50:39
Speaker
Honestly, not ever, but like one of the ones that I was like very excited to watch. Yeah. I had to watch it twice because the first time I couldn't get through it because not a lot happens in the witch at all. I watched it again last night, in my third time watching the movie. Uh huh. It does have its moments where it's like, all right, what what the fuck we doing? But I do I do appreciate that movie more and more each time I watch it gets better. It was very low budget.
00:51:09
Speaker
I like it. I think it's a solid movie. And then with The Lighthouse, it's a very slow burn. However, Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe just carry the fuck. I mean, they're the only two people in the movie, but their dynamic is very good. Yeah, I mean, you have to not too many actors could pull off those roles in the Lighthouse movie. And not anybody can just fucking beat their dick in a lighthouse. I think most people know, though, like if you're going to see this Nosferatu movie that you're If you don't know, like what this is what Robert Eggers does. Yeah. Robert Eggers, I did, you know, to list the positives. He's very good at developing atmosphere. I thought the little town that the characters lived in was very like enthralling. Like he really does a good job at saying that, like that whole when he's in the beginning of the film, when Nicholas Hall's character is like running to be late for work and he's like running through the town, I feel like you're like you're really in that town.
00:52:05
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, like for sure. borring it Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, and the atmosphere. ah He's always very good at atmosphere in his movie. I don't want to say his movies, just vibes, but he's very good at developing vibes in his movies and like, oh, yeah, like you're it's all moods.
00:52:22
Speaker
You big mood guy. Like when you're when you're supposed to be scared, you feel scared. ah When you're supposed to feel anxiety, you feel it like that. Like when you like when Nicholas Holt's character first enters the the castle and they're like sitting at the table talking, that was fucking anxiety inducing. Yeah, that really like maybe I was like, I want to be over. This is ya co and Nicholas Holt's facial expressions.
00:52:46
Speaker
We're very good, very good. Yeah. Also, part of those expressions were the trailer. I just want to say that it was. Yeah. But like when he was crying, I was like, Oh, fuck. ah I like how they did the whole ah possession thing, because that's what it is. It's a possession. It's a possession movie in the grand scheme of things. But ah what's her name?
00:53:12
Speaker
Lily Rose Depp. Lily Rose. There you go. Lily Rose Depp.
00:53:20
Speaker
No, she deserves it. Because I'd fuck the shit out of her, no cap. straight Straight up. Johnny Depp, I'm coming for your fucking daughter. Watch out. Hey, yo! Nosferatu was up in them cheeks. I want to be up in them cheeks. You know what? Okay. She was very great. Like, in all her possession. ah Her orgasms were pretty good, too. I mean, the movie opens, like, with her basically orgasming. Yeah. ah yeah ah Sorry. Anybody that turned you on. But that's what happens.
00:53:49
Speaker
If you want more, hit them up. You know what's very strange? All in the show and moan for us. All right, go ahead. That was a joke. Don't do that. You could. I'm down. All right. I need some beat material. um So the strange part about this movie for me was when Nicholas Holt just starts fucking her out of nowhere. He just goes in because she's like getting hot and heavy for Nosferatu, right? like No, I like that part.
00:54:14
Speaker
because Because the context of the of that scene is she's telling him... First of all, they're in an argument, right? They are in an argument. They're already in an argument because the whole situation's pretty fucked up. But she tells... Because no one knows what's going on. like Everybody's like people think it's like... She reveals to Nicholas Halt that she's had a relationship with Nosferatu since she was like a child. Since she was little. She he like gave herself up to him. Right. On some Twilight shit. She said Twilight is the darkness. I've seen the first one.
00:54:43
Speaker
Yeah, because like Bella was always supposed to be the one since he was a since Edward was a kid. Yeah. ah But then er she she she says Lily Rose Depp's character says that ah he could never plead to the way Orla can. She's like, all right, I'll fuck you right now.
00:55:04
Speaker
I'll give you I'll give you the goods, but it was very strange cuz they're like mid-argument. She's crying. He's like fucking dude I've never I'm sorry. I hate fuck I know but I I like the decision. I think it's good I think people are too scared to put sex scenes in movies today. So I I liked it. You think that's what it is? People are afraid to put sex scenes in movies I Like, as the reason why you put it in the movie? No, I think people are afraid to do that, but also... Oh, no, it has its place in the movie. Yeah, it has its place in the movie. Not that it was bad, like, you know. It just took me off guard. Fair enough. I thought it flowed and made sense. Honestly, my gripes in this movie are not really with the last act. I think the last 30 to 40 minutes of this movie are jaw-dropping, amazing. Like, some of the best...
00:55:59
Speaker
last 30 minutes of film you could you could possibly get. I agree. I really enjoy. The tension he's able to build in the first two acts is good enough to where the third act is just Rip City. Rip City. Take a big rip of that. That shit was good, man. I really liked it.
00:56:16
Speaker
um What are your negatives? I mean, the the dark thing is not really a negative. I just I think my eyes suck. It just looks really dark to me. I was in a dark theater and I had trouble making out certain things. Maybe that's intentional. I don't really know. I feel like I was like sitting in the theater and I'm and i'm like.
00:56:37
Speaker
Man, I can't fucking see this. I think that's you. I'll be honest. You probably cooked. My eyes could be cooked. I watched 525 movies this year. Sterile out a lot of screens. Yeah. So I'm pretty sure that's what it is. um I do feel like, and if you don't know this, Robert Eggers likes to use um old English. He likes to use the native tongue of whatever it is. Like for the Northman, I know he read like journal entries and like historical documents from the time to develop the language they use in the Northman, like that Nordic kind of style. Yeah. um I guess this is a hot take. This movie could use subtitles. Sorry.
00:57:20
Speaker
I know you're right. I really genuinely did not know what they were talking about in parts of the movie. And I was like, this really could have benefited from some subtitles. I'm a subtitle user no matter what. So maybe I become reliant on it. But this especially with Count Orlok's accent, sometimes I couldn't understand what he was saying. And that's not really a negative to me. um well my biggest my biggest thing and i My biggest issue with this movie is that I don't I feel like chunks, this movie were edited out and there's stuff that's missing. And the first, the first two acts don't feel very clear to me. It's rushed. Yeah. And like the way Willem Dafoe's character just kind of figures it out. It's just kind of like, yeah, there we go. It's Nosferatu. This is what you do. He's going to be here. I know for like, they're mourning the loss of ah Aaron Taylor, Johnson's wife.
00:58:20
Speaker
And then he's just like, this is where he's going to be. I figured it out. And they don't like show any of it. And a lot of the first two acts is exposition talking, just to tell you what's going on. And sometimes that can be done very well. I don't know how well it's done here. like I think Robert Eggers, the exposition in like The Witch is done very well. like You find out like their kids aren't baptized, all these things that lead up to the final act. I feel like the stuff that is shared here I looked at my phone twice, like how much longer is this movie? Mm-hmm. Which I hate to say it, you know, and I could watch this again and be like, I now it makes it all clicks for me. But yeah it does seem like there's big chunks that like the studio, but maybe there's studio interference because like this is his first like, it's not an A24. Right now. it's It's not an indie movie, which most of his movies are. This is his first film where it's like, all right, the you know, I'm with a big name distributor, so I have to kind of ah navigate some of these rules.
00:59:15
Speaker
and And when you're taking on a movie like this, which the story's already grounded, you know like it's not like his original idea. like I don't know how many how much like ah creativity, like creative freedom they gave him like to change the story. you know That was a negative that I saw online is that it's not like people don't feel like it's a Robert Eggers nose fraud. Do they think it said nose fraud to just remade?
00:59:43
Speaker
which I don't really know. It's hard for me to say yes or no on that. I feel like note i feel like Robert Eggers does ah put his style into this movie. Stylistically, this is very much Robert Eggers. um So it's hard for me to like say that's a negative. I don't know if I agree with it completely. I have a hard time getting through the notes for Roger from 1922.
01:00:04
Speaker
Oh, that's a ready buddy and anybody who says they don't is fucking lying. You're lying to yourself. Yeah, it's a it's a rough watch because most silent movies are I like to score score for most of it. I do feel like though maybe we just say this is Robert Eggers a style, but it's like Most of his, like the, if it's like an orchestral score with like, you you know, strings and, and wind instruments, it's good. But a lot of Robert Eggers movies fall into like the opera, like, yeah. And that's the score. You know what I mean? If you pulled some of those pieces from like the witch and this and asked me to like tell you what was what, not today. Cause I watched the witch last night and I watched those frock two a couple of days ago.
01:00:55
Speaker
I wouldn't be able to tell you, because I feel like Akina is all in the same vein. I agree with that. um Those are really all my negatives. I don't know if, like, I respect the practical effects of Nosferatu, of Count Orlok. I think it looks great, but I don't know how impressed I am with his overall appearance, and that might be because the movie's so dark. I get it. Again, that's intentional. I'm not digging that from the movie, but it does, I mean, I don't know.
01:01:24
Speaker
they He put his own twist on the appearance of Count Orlock I know he said in an interview too that he like looked up like what a Transylvania man from this time period would look like Okay, and like just basically tried to like um mummify it almost. Yeah, that's the whole thing Yeah, he's very mummified which it was on dead. He's on dead like vampires. He's you know, I Just feel like there's a lot of lore They could dug into with this character as far as those four is concerned ah and didn't and went more stylistic with the visuals and the atmosphere, which I love that part. I think I could use a little bit more of the lore building, right? Not like they're able to make a sequel or some shit. not I'm not saying that. I'm just saying like I could have used some more. Right. Yeah, because it's more so.
01:02:15
Speaker
Like what's happening, that's kind of like the whole movie. like I feel like they discover this whole nose like they brought that they brought in one of the foes character who again is great like oh he's like yep he's like yep here it is done right yeah Willem Dafoe's character comes in a little too late I agree I was also wondering when the fuck he was gonna like like where's Willem Dafoe in the movie I don't know big in the trailer yeah I feel like they would have benefited more from, yeah, like him coming in sooner into the movie, ah because he's the one that knows all about this shit. He's into the occult and all that. So I feel he would... ah And the little bit of lore they gave him too was good. Like, oh, he got like disgraced from the university. Right. He's like out on his own. He's like a kook. I like that. Yeah. his His lore is good, but they need more Nosferatu lore.
01:03:07
Speaker
Maybe they didn't because they think like we all know it. It's like not doing a Batman Origins movie again because we all fucking know it. Yeah, like, oh, he's a vampire. Like, he does this. He does that. I get it. They give you hints of it. I for my personal taste, which is subjective is I would have liked to see more, but it's what it is. That's really kind of all I have for the negative. The slow burn kind of got to me. I also could have been cooked. I just worked like I worked Christmas Day and then I went and saw this movie. So I could have just been tired. Was your theater pack like this? Yeah, I got like the last seat. Yeah. I'll see. There was a kid. There was like a kid, a dude who brought like
01:03:43
Speaker
Like, we're getting younger and younger bringing these kids to R-rated movies, man. People were bringing, like, teenagers to Terrifier 3. Bro. And, like, writing on Rotten Tomatoes. I brought my son to this. I could not believe how violent and, you know... Yeah, no shit. Yeah. They're... When I say little kid, alright, I'm talking, like, seven or younger. We're at this movie. Don't that's, like, ID? Isn't it an R movie?
01:04:11
Speaker
it It is an art movie, but you can get in with a parent. You have permission, I think. Yeah, parents permission. Like there's nudity, full up nudity. There is blood.
01:04:24
Speaker
There's that guy that eats nocks that eats the fucking bird. He bites that pigeons head off. Which, by the way, ah when they go to report back to whoever about like, oh, they like he ate the bird. He's like, he ate it raw. He ate it raw, bloody raw. And then some guy might feel your paws.
01:04:43
Speaker
so ah I was like, that's funny, but like this is a serious movie, dude. Yeah, I really I liked I like Knox like the guy like the guy that was like his like Renfield essentially. I thought he was great. I thought his performance is like kind of underrated, I would say. Yeah, I mean, yeah, because they just lock him away in like a hospital because they think he's going insane. Yeah. I'll say my biggest positive for this movie is just the I already said it, but it's the entire third act. I love all the third act.
01:05:16
Speaker
and It starts from like when Count Orlock i guess makes the deal with ah Lily Rose Depp's character. if we are now i'm sorry but I think it's Helen.
01:05:28
Speaker
yeah helen ellenen not helen ellenlan um And then all the events that but that happen after that, they kill kids this movie, which I respect. Straight up kill kids. Which they would not do. They would not do that in movies. And we don't like it because, like, oh, kids get to die. It's like because movies won't fucking do that. They don't have the balls to do it. Equal rights, equal fights type shit. That's pretty. That's a. Did you think of that? Hmm.
01:05:51
Speaker
Did you just think of that? What do you mean? Equal rights, equal fights? No, that's a thing. Oh, okay. That's a banker line. Yeah. um i More like that.
Vampire Scene Analysis and ASMR Elements
01:05:59
Speaker
I thought ah Aaron Taylor Johnson's character going and fucking his dead wife. That's crazy. And then killing himself afterwards um was well done.
01:06:15
Speaker
And then, I mean, just like the the final hunt and then the or lock dying, like essentially in her arms and the sun comes up. And he was fucking her. He burns. He was sucking her and he was fucking her. Could you hear the ASMR him sucking the blood out of the chest? Yeah. And he's like, thank you for fucking doing that. OK, people should be sucking blood from the heart, not from your neck. I agree with that. I thank you, Mr. Eggers, for doing that. Because where's the blood come from? Oh, the heart, the heart, my aorta.
01:06:46
Speaker
My urethra. I hope not. Like that sheep and a witch. Oh yeah. Black Philip. Black Philip.
Movie Ratings and Comparisons
01:06:53
Speaker
So what are you giving this? ah I've gone back and forth on it. I want to see it again. um I think it's going to be a three and a half. I think that's where I land with it. I don't know if it's better than the movies on my LBs that ah I'll rate it higher. I think it's i think this is like slightly better. Am I going to say that? No, I didn't say that. I have it rated lower than Terrifier 3, which is a three and a half. I think it's better than Speak No Evil as far as horror is concerned. I think this movie does more. More Speak No Evil is just a remake.
01:07:34
Speaker
So is this, though. Yeah, but but speaking of evil is like a whitewashed, sanitized version of the movie. like You're always telling you the differences. It's just like at least this stuck to its roots. the This taste, I feel like takes some more risks. Yeah. Versus speaking of evil does. um I think it's better than Immaculate for sure. I don't think it's better than Long Legs. I would prefer Long Legs over this movie.
01:07:59
Speaker
um Personally, but I've seen long legs three times. So that's true. As long as a horror, you guys can decide that. um And it's not better than Strange Darling. No. You definitely will not agree with this. It's not better than Late Night with the Devil.
01:08:14
Speaker
You hate that movie, so I know you hate that movie. That's where I'm at. It was initially when I walked out of the theater, it was a four. That's where I was, but then I de-structured it. So I'm ending at three and a half. I think if you love this movie, you think it's a masterpiece, all the power to you, I just personally don't feel that. Yeah, I'm also at a three and a half for what you said. It might go up on a rewatch. I feel like this is a movie that you could Definitely benefit. ah want you I want an extended cut. I want to like get all of it because I feel like they definitely took chunks of it out. Extended cut would definitely be cool. And I know I just said it's a slow burn, but it's like the burn is not doesn't feel cohesive to me. Yeah. Like they all of a sudden just had that shot where they're walking on that like it's not iconic, but it's a well known the beach with the cross with the crosses cut to that and it's like
01:09:13
Speaker
What are we doing here? How do we get here?
Dark Endings and Thematic Consistency
01:09:15
Speaker
Sure. But the movie obviously like thematically is also has the... Lily Rose Depp's character getting her her female independence, being her own woman, choosing to sacrifice herself for her husband, who is like her only, which isn't a great look, but ah like you need a man to be okay. Yeah, it's not good. Yeah, but I mean, I think her sacrificing herself at the end was ah was beautiful. Also, the movie ended, the people in that episode, that was sad.
01:09:45
Speaker
Well, yeah. That's the fucking point, dude. There's no happy ending here. I like the bleak ending. I think it works a lot for this film that's supposed to be dark and they kill the vampire and go, hooray. and
Ranking Robert Eggers' Films
01:09:54
Speaker
I'd be like the fuck. Yeah. If you want to share your Robert Eggers ranking, you can. I know you haven't seen the Northman, but I'll share it. I'll share with you mine.
01:10:04
Speaker
I watched The Witch yesterday, third time I watched it. I watched The Northman yesterday. I hadn't watched that movie in two years, so I basically forgot it. In The Lighthouse, I feel like I've seen enough times to kind of know how I feel about it, and it's not really gonna change.
01:10:20
Speaker
The Lighthouse has the best performances, granted there are only two. Out of, I'll say out of everything in Robert Eggers' is catalog, those are the two strongest performances out of anything.
01:10:31
Speaker
are Defoe and Pattinson going back and forth. I agree with that. I do think the movie, though, is the slowest of the slow burns. And for me, it's the weakest one. I have it at four out of all of his movies. And the rating on that is a three star. I know what the lighthouse is. And I want to be fair, the first my watch movies, like this is like a fucking one star movie. So I've come a long way in the lighthouse. So I can continue to keep watch. I always like to go, you know,
01:10:57
Speaker
That's the beauty of his films too is you can always revisit them and you'll find something else you didn't see previously. um Nosferatu, the next three films are all three and a half, just so you know. Nosferatu is in the three spot simply because I only watched it one time. I could watch it again and it could go up or down.
01:11:15
Speaker
ah The Northman is a three and a half for me, watched it again last night. Dude, it is brutal. There are some scenes in this movie that are like, you're like, holy shit. I think it's alex Alexander Skarsgard in this movie, not Bill. Yeah, Alexander Skarsgard in this movie is a fucking piece. He's got a big old fucking... But cop on um big hog but the other problem too with that movie it does have also have some pacing issues and some like kind of abrupt shifts in tone Which I also found when those frock to a little bit And then number one for me, it's still a three and a half though is the witch So without the Northman because I haven't seen it you said I should watch it right it's in the it's in my digi catalog you have to log into that okay, I
01:12:04
Speaker
My number one is still the lighthouse. Well, I didn't think you like loud more than the witch. I do.
01:12:15
Speaker
Is that hot? I don't know. Oh, I thought most people could like consider the witch as his ah number one, but I honestly don't know. It's all subjective, right? Yeah, 100%. Then I'm putting Nosferatu. Over the witch? Over the witch. Wow.
01:12:35
Speaker
I feel like that could be kind of hot. It's probably hot. I could probably rewatch The Witch. I could probably well we rewatch Lighthouse and Nosferatu and give an updated. You could probably watch them all and fucking scramble your whole ranking. Yeah, I could watch all four and just be somewhere else different. Yeah, but that's what I currently am on ah December 30th, 2024.
01:12:59
Speaker
I do wanna say on ah The Northman, I wrote in my letterbox here, I think it's Nicole Kidman's like one of her worst performances. I thought she was horrid in it. Horrid. Horrid, terrible, not great. Ass. So here's your update from the, our best of, Nosferatu's not gonna win my best movie of 2024 this year. No, we thought and we thought it could be there. Yeah, it's, um I believe it's sitting at number,
01:13:27
Speaker
It's at number 19 right now. Number four. My number one is still Singsing. If you don't count the movie that didn't really come out this year, and then Strange Darling, then I have Inora, The Apprentice, which is your watch, and Conclave would be number five. Those are my top five for this year, because nothing else is coming out. I've seen and fish officially 75 movies that came out this year.
01:13:53
Speaker
Pretty good. Pretty good. Probably somebody else online. I saw selling 130. I was like, holy shit. That's a lot. That's a dedication just from this year. And they're all not good. Like someone's seeing Kung Fu Panda for like, I'm sorry for you, man. You know, I mean, right. What are you doing? I mean, yeah, I mean, we'll do.
01:14:17
Speaker
Plug it in, plug it in. So follow us on Instagram, TwoGuysOneScreenPod, send any comments, concerns, movie requests to TwoGuysOneScreenPod at gmail dot.com. Send us a voicemail that we will listen to live on the pod at 508FISTUS.
01:14:36
Speaker
five eight eight dip tip And then while you still can, follow us on TikTok. Two guys, one screen pod. Maybe Trump's going to save TikTok. Who knows? God help us. I did see the same clip that he was going to save TikTok. Yeah. God help us all. God's not real. Trump help us all. ah Next week, we are doing an episode on violent night. That episode has been recorded ah with a special guest. Did we already spoil who it was going to be?
01:15:06
Speaker
It's Jake. If we didn't spoil it, it's Jake. It's Jake. ah Mr. Rolly Polioli himself. Mr. Ball. He's become a character of the show and you'll hear what he has to say on violent night. And the week after, just in case, I know we said it on the violent night recording, but the week after is the Poughkeepsie tapes. I listened to that episode again. I just want you guys all to know we sound wildly different because of like our like the way we're recording. It was like the way we recorded.
01:15:36
Speaker
No, no, I mean like like you were saying the best of like the confidence is there we're a little more comfortable behind the mic. Okay, and yeah so there's no soundboard There's no plug it in. I don't think no definitely no plug it in plug it in ah but it is different and ah Yeah, this is coming out in New Year's Eve so happy New Year to all you fuckers happy New Year's I guess. ah Thank you to everyone who's listened this year. We wildly appreciate it. um And we'll see you guys Tuesday. Seriously looking forward to the new year. I don't know about you. That sounded really enthusiastic, dude. im Sorry. Most fucking monotone voice. I'm really looking forward to the new year's, guys. See you in 2025. We'll see you. Toodles. Fuck you, Mark. Even in the new year. Fuck you.