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Kevin Kaiser – Living as Spirit in the Human World
740 Plays1 month ago
In this episode of The Art of Authenticity, Laura sits down with longtime friend Kevin Kaiser for a grounded, unscripted conversation about identity, awareness, and the quiet pull toward truth that many people feel but struggle to name.
Kevin shares his lifelong relationship with inquiry — from growing up in an evangelical environment to decades of philosophical study, contemplative practice, and direct experience. Together, they explore why so many of us feel a persistent sense of “not enough,” how spiritual seeking can quietly turn into another form of chasing, and why peak experiences don’t actually solve the question we’re asking. This episode moves toward a simple but challenging invitation: stop trying to get somewhere else.
Through stories of silence, darkness retreats, identity collapse, and everyday life, Kevin points back to one essential inquiry — Who am I? Not as a concept, but as something to be noticed directly. If you’ve ever felt pulled toward spirituality, purpose, or self-understanding but unsure where to begin, this conversation offers a clear place to start.
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Transcript
Welcome Back, Kevin!
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey you
00:00:26
Speaker
Hello and welcome to this week's episode. am here with my very dear friend, Kevin. Hey, Kevin. Hey, Laura. Thanks for having me. It's about time you got back to this.
00:00:38
Speaker
Aw, thank you. Yeah, I'm excited. i i almost put it to pastor forever, but it didn't feel right. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm glad we're you're back.
00:00:53
Speaker
And... I get to come along for the ride, least today.
The Foundation of Friendship
00:00:58
Speaker
Well, for those of you who maybe are um haven't been around me as much recently, maybe checked out The Art of Authenticity way back, um Kevin and I have known each other for a few years.
00:01:12
Speaker
What is it? Like five, six, something like that. Sure. That sounds good. Something like that. And very dear friends. um And we worked together at the Little Soul School.
00:01:24
Speaker
um But this round of the art of authenticity, the reason I wanted to relaunch, um come back to this question of what does it mean to have a life that feels authentic? What is the literal art of and authenticity, right? The title.
00:01:39
Speaker
um I wanted to bring on people who i feel are deeply curious about this conversation of life.
Relaunching 'The Art of Authenticity'
00:01:48
Speaker
Like we're here, we're living, we're making sense of it. It's difficult.
00:01:53
Speaker
And i think of you as a true warrior for that cause. So I appreciate you being here and sharing your story in time. You're very welcome.
00:02:04
Speaker
You're very welcome. We're the same kind of different, the same kind of strange, I guess. We speak each other's. There's like this people talk about the five love languages. And then there's like this language language, you know, that only the people that are it like they they know it like they know their people when they see them and when they're with them. And so that's where each other's people.
00:02:26
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I think you were saying it just a minute before we hit record, but it's, it's like, once you've started this conversation, it's like a sinkhole. It's like a disease. It's like terminal illness.
Entertainment Management Insights
00:02:42
Speaker
Oh my God. Everybody's like, click. I want to get off this podcast. Um, So, yeah, I mean, i I think what I would love to talk about is, you know, share with everybody and and converse with you about is, you know, you put yourself through a lot.
00:02:59
Speaker
We'll get into it. But between psychedelics and dark rooms and ah the amount of literature you've read and the amount of effort you put into yourself to...
00:03:11
Speaker
to peel back the proverbial onion into this this deeper sense of aliveness. Who are we? What are we? Why are we here? What does it mean? um And so I'd love to share some of those stories, some of the process, but to start off like...
00:03:28
Speaker
I mean, why Kevin? Like, no, I mean, but what is it, what has it been for you to connect to this conversation of you know, purpose, what it means, why we're here, the, the truth of um this experience of life?
Philosophy and Identity Exploration
00:03:49
Speaker
Like, why does that, why does that um process take center stage so frequently? What does it mean to you?
00:03:59
Speaker
Yeah. So um
00:04:03
Speaker
for about a decade, i was in entertainment management. So I worked with really, really creative people, writers, musicians. And and I remember i would ask people or these people, these artists, why do you create?
00:04:21
Speaker
And their answer was usually something like, I don't know what else to do. i I just, i have to, you know, and there are those writers. They say, well, I write because I must, like I would explode if I didn't.
00:04:34
Speaker
And musicians say the same and painters say the same thing. And then people that are in business that they say the same thing. I'm just, I'm just birdwired for this.
00:04:45
Speaker
And for whatever reason, i can't not ask questions.
Understanding Mistaken Identity
00:04:52
Speaker
I've always been this way. i mean, from a, like I grew up, you know, the middle child of a Midwestern family in Southern Indiana, you know, evangelical Christian and from a really young age.
00:05:04
Speaker
I mean, my parents would even say this, that the only thing I was ever really interested in was like philosophy, even as a kid, you know, like, why, like, what is, what is reality? What is God? Who am i And, you know, I just sensed and that on some level that these were all actually the same question. Mm-hmm.
00:05:27
Speaker
just intuitively, I think children know this stuff, right? That like, there's this thing, reality, and we're not separate from it. We it actually is us. And then ah we go, you know, have to go grow up and be adults.
00:05:45
Speaker
And I just went kicking and screaming and just kind of refused to grow up, I guess. Yeah. You know, asking the big questions, you know, mean, it's kind of like, you know, what causes a a plant to reach towards sunlight, whatever that is, is what causes me to seek out stuff.
Seeking Happiness and Authenticity
00:06:06
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Valid. And i feel very similar. um it's really well put. And so as you're this plant and you're asking, um A lot of people are asking this question, you know why does my life not feel as connected as I want, as aligned as I want?
00:06:25
Speaker
Why do I not feel in relation to my life in the way that I want? And I think they're ultimately looking to feel happier. But happiness, as we've talked about, is this sort of elusive, difficult thing to connect to. But I think they actually mean they want to connect to their true self or know themselves in a way that is intangible. So how do you think about that part for yourself? I mean, this exploration, these questions, the things you put yourself through, you're asking the question to what end? Like, what is the, what is the, i mean, the driving thing is i i can't not, but like, what have you learned? um
00:07:06
Speaker
What are you navigating? yeah Does it mean to you? Yeah. I mean, you and I have talked a lot about ah people like Adyashanti and all these people had, you know, language, this seeking in different ways.
00:07:21
Speaker
And there's something he says that i really gravitate toward that, you know, there we have
The Creative Journey and Existential Questions
00:07:26
Speaker
this epidemic of not enoughness. So I think as children, we were just ourselves, we're self, we're not self-conscious.
00:07:38
Speaker
You know, I remember the neighborhood we lived in in Nashville. You know, we had a neighbor kid who was a toddler and he would just streak through the the green space naked.
00:07:49
Speaker
He didn't care. and i was like, oh, man, he's my guru. Like, I want to be that kid. And then we learned that, no, that's not, ah you're not okay. And, and it creates a split inside of us that I'm not okay.
00:08:05
Speaker
um I'm not enough as I am. And then i guess most of the people listening, listening to this know that, oh, well, society happily gives us the programming and conditioning that that validates that.
00:08:18
Speaker
Because it it makes us really productive productive and controllable, right? Yeah. you know yeah When you start doing this thing and make money, then you'll be enough.
00:08:29
Speaker
And so I think it really is just that. It's the, what does it mean to be me? you know Who am i Why am I here? And really, I think for me, it's been the discovery that those are the same thing.
The Fluidity of Self
00:08:44
Speaker
that who I am is why I am here. They're they're the same. I just don't know who I am. It's like I have this amnesia, this chronic case of mistaken identity. And so when I'm out, I'm basically out trying to find myself.
00:09:01
Speaker
Right? Like it's kind of everybody talks about the hero's journey and the hero's journey has nothing to do with slaying the dragon, rescuing the princess or the prince, depending on who's who's the hero, right? um It's about Luke Skywalker discovering he's a Jedi.
00:09:18
Speaker
You know, it's about Joan of Arc realizing she's a badass. It's all it's all a story of identity and finding who who and what one actually is. And so I think Like I suffer, I can't speak for anyone else, but I think this is universal that we all have this chronic case of mistaken identity and really what we're searching for in all of these things, whether the thing is wanna make money, wanna be famous, I wanna have influence, or wanna leave all, abandon all of those things and find out if I'm really a soul trapped in a human body.
00:09:53
Speaker
i mean, what we're really looking for is who like, who am I? Like, what is the actual answer to that question?
Life Balance and Spiritual Experiences
00:10:01
Speaker
and it's unpindownable it's good we're an unpinned down and unpin unpinned downable because you're unpinned downable yeah Right.
00:10:15
Speaker
There's not like the solid thing called you that once you find it, then you will finally be complete. No, like it's, it's this ever changing complex, you know, it's like the flowing of a river that you call it river, but it's, it's, it's happening more than a thing.
00:10:37
Speaker
Yeah. Right. It's an energy. It's a feeling within and feeling not like so sad, happy feeling. It's like a, it's like um a texture. And when you're there, you know but it's hard to like stay there very long. yeah.
00:10:59
Speaker
Okay, so just backing up, um sharing with the audience a little bit, appreciate the the the global view, and I i'd love how articulate you are on these topics. it's this is whyre This is why I call you all the time. You want to get to the why did you do drugs part, right?
Psychedelics and Spirituality
00:11:16
Speaker
ah I was actually going to ask you, I mean, so you you very openly have done a ton of Hulu Synergetics and you've helped people with it. And you've um also did this dark room, which I can't get over, where you locked yourself in a dark room for days and contending with the emptiness of that and and on and on, right? Yeah.
00:11:36
Speaker
um And in those moments, there is this sort of deep connection and almost transcendent experience, right? But then it it disappears.
00:11:49
Speaker
So I guess like for people out there, it's like this seeking, this attempt to get there, this desire to try the next thing, you know, it i think is rampant in the spirituality communities. um yeah You and I both come from business backgrounds and people are looking to be successful and make more money. And then I got into authenticity and it's like people are trying to become authentic, like get there, you know, like I'm going to be authentic as a state. And then it's like, be spiritual. And so there's a lot of chasing experientially heightened
00:12:28
Speaker
h existentially like cool experiences, which are, which are nice. Yeah. But like, you can't be high all day or be, you know, so I guess my question or maybe a conversation with you is like, like we both see it as, as, you know, ah such a prevalent part of of, culture. And I think it comes from a good place. People are attempting to um,
00:12:54
Speaker
feel better, resolve,
Balancing Life and Spiritual Exploration
00:12:56
Speaker
understand, but it becomes its own loop, right? And I know you and I both struggled that at it various times. How do you think about balancing life itself, grabbing groceries, like right? And feeling that connection to that deeper sense of self.
00:13:18
Speaker
Yeah, well, I think that all of these things modalities experiences peak states they are um I mean they're they're helpful as far as they go and i think for me the most the most important realization And that's what it is. It's a realization, right? Like whenever these sages and mystics and philosophers are all talking about whatever you want to call it, awakening, enlightenment, ah what whatever it might be, you can swap out realization for that, right? And realization being something that had always been true that was basically hidden in plain sight that you didn't see.
00:14:05
Speaker
and then you see it, right? It's kind of like, It's kind of like walking in a crowded park. There are people everywhere one day, you know, and you're just kind of paying it, not paying a pen paying attention. And a stranger walks towards you and you get about 10 feet from them and you realize, oh, that's not a stranger. That's Laura.
00:14:24
Speaker
You know, the stranger didn't magically become you. It had always been you. And then, and it's just, we're living life, you know, which is why the sages say, you know, like after enlightenment, do the laundry, colo draw water.
00:14:41
Speaker
So I think that there's our natural state, which is ineffable,
The Importance of Realization
00:14:50
Speaker
which is you know like rupert spira all these people talk about you know you are not the experience you are that you are the one who is experiencing all things whether that be thoughts emotions feelings whatever it might be and that's your natural state and i think what these experiences do for most people but i'll only speak for myself how about that i can only speak for myself the thing that breath work setting in darkness studying non-duality experimenting with psychedelics these are all
00:15:31
Speaker
sort of shaken me loose, like snapped me ah out of the trance of my own sense of mistaken identity and realized, oh, I am this aware presence that is that is primary to my life and its nature is total peace and its nature is contentment and its nature is happiness and joy.
00:15:57
Speaker
and And then and then my mind slips in and I get really focused on I need to make money. I have to pay the rent. I have to do this. Right. And then all of sudden that limitless, boundless being becomes Kevin.
00:16:11
Speaker
And i have to do the laundry again, you know? So it's like, to me, doing these things is is an exercise in reminding myself, not just mentally, but in a felt sense that I'm both, that I'm both boundlessness and also, you know, a ah kid from the Midwest, you know, who is putting a kid through college and is navigating the the beautiful opportunities and perils of, you know, marriage and living life in America.
Darkroom Retreat Revelations
00:16:48
Speaker
You know, yeah all of these experiences are are so um important to me. i mean, like you mentioned the darkness. So i have a friend who runs a dark dark cave retreat ah place here in Oregon.
00:17:06
Speaker
So went and its complete darkness. I mean, the darkest dark that is ever dark. You know, I mean, it is dark and people used to do this. I've done this for,
00:17:19
Speaker
Wait, wait, wait. But share with everybody, you did this for how many days? um I think it was four days. Four days. And your meals came through? a box. Yeah, it's like a basically a a box that goes through, that is embedded in the wall. There's a door on each side.
00:17:37
Speaker
You know, once a day he comes and he opens the door from one side, puts the food in, closes the door. And then I can open it from the other side without letting light in. But then you can't see while you eat, while everything is pitch black.
00:17:51
Speaker
Everything is pitch black. Okay. I just want to set the scene because i love you, but that feels like a hell no to me. So go go ahead.
00:18:01
Speaker
Well, if anybody listening to listening to this has ever gone on a cave tour or they take you deep into a cave and then they turn off all the lights and it's that darkness that swallows you, almost wraps you like a blanket, has a as a weight to it. It's velvety. It's...
00:18:22
Speaker
heavy without being suffocating, but it's there. And it's like that. Yeah, because you, you know I went in in the evening.
00:18:33
Speaker
he orients you you close the door. There are light switches. So you can always turn the light if you wanted to. can leave if you wanted to. But you light a candle, you turn off the lights. And then when you're ready to blow out the candle, you blow out the candle and then you're plunged into darkness.
00:18:52
Speaker
okay And it's built into the side of a mountain. So it's also sensory deprivation. and You don't hear anything. You don't see anything. um Yeah, you're basically just in this room for four days.
00:19:06
Speaker
ah So I appreciate you you bringing up the, or sharing the environment. And so in that, would you say, what was the what was the outcome that you had from that experience?
00:19:18
Speaker
that terrorizing experience well it wasn't terror terrifying for me i know just i'm projecting yeah yeah i i realize i love life i love being able to see i mean by the time he came and got me out on that last day it was like christmas morning mm-hmm You know, I mean, just the, just the thought that I could, i i could go outside and, you know, breathe fresh air. And and what happens is on the last day, he he put on a blindfold before he opens the door and brings you out, leads you outside. He sets you down in a chair and he hits record on a video camera and films you taking off your mask.
00:20:05
Speaker
and i mean it it was miraculous it was it was amazing just to see just to see the the trees and the fog drifting through the trees but but that was so impactful to me mostly because of the opposite of that like all of that had been Willfully given up, taken away, right? And, you know, in the darkness, I mean, there's nothing to do.
00:20:38
Speaker
i mean, a friend asked me, like, what like what happened? And my answer is nothing. Like, nothing happened. It's, you know, the first 12 hours, 10 hours is pretty easy because you start at night and you go to sleep.
00:20:55
Speaker
And then you wake up and... You're just with yourself. And then the thoughts come. Yeah.
00:21:06
Speaker
and then And then you face all of those things. Yeah. Yeah. And I think like back to sort of what led us into this, this story, like this question of, you know, what are these experiences? Mm-hmm.
00:21:24
Speaker
Why bother? Why do them? Why put yourself through it? So option, but you know your first answer, well, I'm called to this. I am like a flower into the sun.
Perception and Reality
00:21:32
Speaker
But then the second piece is after a period of time, the questions need to be experiential and those experiences have this value of,
00:21:42
Speaker
reminding you of what it is that's past the scene into the unseen, because unfortunately we are in these senses and these senses remind us constantly of the Laura-ness of life or the Kevin-ness of life, the consistent barrage of what we believe is constantly happening, where we can't get past that into this if ah quite boring as you put it, other piece, the unseen, but where're the we're more where're where I think the truth of life is really sitting all the time.
00:22:17
Speaker
That's true, yeah. And I'll give you a really specific story from the darkness that that um but I think answers the question of like why why do any of these things, right? So i I think it was maybe halfway into the second day or something like that. and um i got really fidgety and all of my tricks failed me like meditation didn't work uh breath work didn't work stretching didn't work you know and i was just in it and i was thinking
00:22:54
Speaker
This is dumb. Like i'm I'm in hell. Like this is like why like why I'm locked in this room. And then it was almost like this little voice went, you did this to yourself, man.
00:23:10
Speaker
And I realized I just stopped. It was almost like all of the chatter in my mind stopped. And I realized, oh my gosh, I can walk out of this room if I want.
00:23:21
Speaker
I can turn on this light if I want. I am doing literally doing this to myself. And I realized that that was true of my entire life.
00:23:33
Speaker
Whether I was in heaven or in hell, I was right. And I laughed out loud in the dark. And I was like, isn't that a fucking thing? That's what I said to myself. was like, oh, that's it. And I think for me, a lot of these experiences are the reminder that I create my reality.
Accepting Mistaken Identity
00:23:58
Speaker
yeah not just Not the circumstances of my reality, but how I respond to life, which actually is my life, right? How I respond to life is my way of being and my way of being and how I show up and all of these things. And i think that's the key lesson for me in all of these experiences is I'm creating my reality actively.
00:24:23
Speaker
I'm 100% radically responsive responsible for that. My responsibility, my ability to respond to life. And it's so like the conditioning and the algorithms are so strong in me that, you know, cause I'm 50 now and I've gotten decades and decades of reinforced, you know, programs running that i forget that.
00:24:51
Speaker
And I fall into, you know, I moved from being the hero to being the victim, or I might move from being the victim to to being in the villain. Right. Which is also another story. And so for me, like coming out of the darkness, it was a clear, because there were no distractions.
00:25:07
Speaker
Like it was very obvious. I'm doing this to myself. Yeah. Have you seen the, there's a meme, there's a little boy and he's got a boot on his face and he, and he looks like he's in terrible pain.
00:25:23
Speaker
His face is like on the ground. And it says before spiritual awakening, right? And the next panel zooms out a little bit and you see it's his hand that's inside of the boot.
00:25:34
Speaker
So he's holding his own head down and it says, after spiritual awakening. but ah That's funny. And I think that's what these experiences, whether it's, I mean, picky pick your poison or pick your elixir or whatever it is.
00:25:49
Speaker
um It's to help us zoom out and see that so that you can actually get up off the ground, put the boot down and go, you know, live creatively. We already are living creatively. Just maybe be aware of it.
00:26:05
Speaker
That's right. Well said. hu Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful. That kind of thing. What's that? Living, living free.
00:26:15
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. mean, I think, I think we are energy and so energy already free. We just, We can't see it. So we are constantly in conflict with what yeah life experience is because our eyeballs have a very particular perception. But that said, you know, i think that's the point.
Challenges of Self-Acceptance
00:26:36
Speaker
it it it's the It's the the recognition in those moments and then the recognition that those moments will leave and it's okay too.
00:26:48
Speaker
Like, I think I got stuck here for a really long time that it was not okay to come back to my egoic everyday personality. Laura can be fill in the blank, X, Y, Z, not enough, donedada whatever.
00:27:06
Speaker
And that somehow I was like failing spirituality. Yeah. If I wasn't able to sustain that level of clarity, right? And and i don't know, i know you were um doing integration coaching. you still do sometimes for for people after psychedelics. Mm-hmm.
00:27:25
Speaker
What is that through line like, right? They come out and the the awe of the experience, right? They're grappling. they Like you had it with yours. I've had my own. And you're just, wow, oh my God. And you're unpacking and you're realizing and you see the world through a different place.
00:27:43
Speaker
And then a couple months later, perhaps less so, right? And then you want to do it again and again and again how do you How do you keep out of that trap? For for me, it's like um the recognition that the goal isn't to stay there.
00:27:58
Speaker
You know, it's not about remaining out of body in that transcendent state twenty four seven i i love... um Thich Nhat Hanh pieces in every step, right? He breathes every step. And I saw the Dalai Lama, he was talking and he pauses and he he prays for a second because it's like, even in conversation, he's like, I need to come back. I need to come back. I need to come back. Right. It's got to be a constant practice, um, in my opinion, but what is your, your view on that kind of, um, I think, uh,
00:28:31
Speaker
cycling trap, right? Like ah like i'm I'm trying to fill myself by making enough money. So I keep making money. It's not quite getting me there. i'm trying to fill myself with more kids, more um a different partner. If I get divorced, i will I will find my way there. If I just find enough passion, i will be happier. And then it's like, okay, if I can connect to my soul often enough, um right? Like it's the same experience in my mind.
00:28:59
Speaker
I think it is. There's this guy, Vincent Felitti. He's a trauma and addiction expert, psychologist, I think. and he he was talking about cocaine in this instance, I think, but he said, or sex, he said, it's impossible to get enough of something that almost works.
00:29:16
Speaker
ah And spirituality is also one of those things that almost works because it's still a finger pointing at the moon, right? Yeah. To steal from the Buddha. And we get addicted to sucking on the finger, right?
00:29:32
Speaker
yeah are looking at the finger and i think i've given up on trying to eliminate resistance and friction for my life i believe that this is an inherent law of the three-dimensional
Guidance through Awareness and Acceptance
00:29:50
Speaker
world that whatever it is that we are and i believe that what we are is essentially spirit that is um enjoying the human experience it's both and right like it's you are both you are both uh infinite potential and also ah a limited bounded self yeah it's both right like
00:30:23
Speaker
And there's great, I mean, that is a very sacred thing. I mean, it's it's amazing, it's beautiful. And when when I realize that I'm i'm okay with that,
00:30:39
Speaker
that I can flow with life, right? It's kind of like um Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, right? the The book, I Am That. a lot of people have read that. And he says, there's the ah between the banks of pain and pleasure flows the river of life And the only problem we have is when we swim to the shore and get stuck on one side or the other.
00:31:05
Speaker
And that you just flow with the river of life. And I think these peak experiences, whatever they might be, um whether they be pain or pleasure, right, is Like it's the experience of the thing and realizing, oh, well, I'm there's something more to life than I'm experiencing, but and I don't want to get stuck where I am. so I'm going to keep flowing.
00:31:32
Speaker
And yeah I mean, you eventually come back and have to do the laundry. You know, you come back and you have to deal with the. um The stuff in your relationships. and the stuff that you hide from yourself and the stuff that you hide from other people you know and I think that that's you know it's about knowing oneself you know it's like over the temple of you know in Delphi know thyself and then accept thyself and then become a conscious creator of your life
00:32:12
Speaker
you know and i do think that it's the all it's those three things know yourself accept yourself which is what most people have the hard time with um yeah and then be a conscious creator
Overcoming Societal Conditioning
00:32:24
Speaker
yeah yeah and why do people why have you struggled to accept yourself because ah I don't know. I don't know. I think there, I think there couple reasons.
00:32:40
Speaker
One is i think that there is something.
00:32:46
Speaker
Genetic inherited. It's almost like a piece of malware that's been snuck into our, our operating system as humans.
00:32:57
Speaker
I think that we're all born with, I think there's something there, um, in human nature, And then I think also we're just conditioned that way. Right. I mean, just think about how people make money these days. Money has become the like the altar at which, at which we worship, and like every, every nation, right? Every people group.
00:33:21
Speaker
Um, and people make money by convincing us that we suck.
00:33:30
Speaker
You're not good enough as you are, but I've got the answer to all your problems. right you know and if you buy my thing, then right you will suck less yeah until next season when the new thing comes out.
00:33:43
Speaker
right I mean, we talked about this nonstop at the little soul school when we were working together. like i was like, I do not want to be involved in scarcity marketing, right? Like this concept of, I've got some solution that you must have. And when you get it, you're going to feel as great as I do because I've somehow like cracked the nut of life that you haven't, right? It's like, it's it's very, and I always laugh about like, you know, a normal shop, like ah like a pizza shop guy doesn't do that. It's not like if you have my pizza, your life is solved. It's like really specific to like some industries. Yeah.
00:34:19
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And then you pile on top of that, the, how companies are incentivized, right? I mean, our, the U S stock market is propped up essentially by five companies and they are the technology companies, you know, AI who have monetized our attention and make money on, uh, the darker aspects of human psychology.
Finding Purpose through Akashic Record Readings
00:34:47
Speaker
you know and so it's it's in it's almost impossible i would say maybe it's impossible unless you live in the woods completely off grid to avoid it yeah so it's in the water it's in the air everybody's affected by it in some way and um which is why I think people are so drawn to consciousness And seeking out experiences because we, we sense, and I think we know inherently that there's more to us than we have been told. And, and we want to find out, you know, we're like wayfinders that, you know we want, we're standing on the, on a shoreline, looking at into the ocean, wondering what's out there. Like, I think there's something out there and there's a larger and larger number of people that are willing to set sail.
00:35:41
Speaker
not knowing what they'll find, and they're finding enough things and reporting back to people that they're like, hey, there's this new land over here. But you're going to have to let go of the old, right? That's the cost. you're going to have to leave the shore.
00:35:56
Speaker
But I think that's what people are looking for is just this sense of aliveness. I want to know freedom because that actually is our at the core of our being.
00:36:06
Speaker
yeah And so, you know, some people do it through you know, psychedelics, some people do it through tantra or, um you know, I mean, there are a million different things, million different ways, painting, um but everybody's looking for the same person, which is this themselves.
00:36:28
Speaker
Absolutely. And I think for people who are out there who are listening, who are like, yeah, I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm
Connecting with Freedom and Purpose
00:36:35
Speaker
that person. I'm, i'm
00:36:39
Speaker
i'm you know, at the Little Soul School, we do these Akashic Record readings, and the Akashic Record readings are the energetic space of your soul's history. And in there, we connect to guidance to see what it is that perhaps can help you connect back to yourself. And the number one question is, what is my purpose? What is my purpose? What is my purpose? Am I on the right path? Am I on and the right path? What is my purpose? And the reason I think people are asking that is that they're looking for a feeling, right? Like, what is, there's something that's not quite right. i'm I'm either living a perfectly normal life or my life is not going that well objectively.
00:37:16
Speaker
But the thing they're seeking, to your point, is is within And so i guess my question to you, and I can share as well, but like, what could they do today? Like psychedelics aren't something that everybody's going to jump on or jumping into a dark room or I, you know,
00:37:33
Speaker
um
Silence and Presence as Pathways
00:37:35
Speaker
what is a way that you believe helps people locate that elusive sense of freedom that they could do in their pajamas on a walk? Like, you know, like what is that, that, um, like non-dualists sort of say to tap into the, the awareness, like, what is it that you do?
00:37:57
Speaker
Um, turn off your phone. Just take one day or take two days, Saturday, Sunday, warn your friends, warn your family. going to turn off my phone and go outside or sit in quiet for a little bit.
00:38:17
Speaker
Be bored. Like, like sense the space in your own life because there is space. And I know it's very difficult for, you know, I mean, there's some people who have, you know,
00:38:30
Speaker
very busy lives three kids four kids whatever might be um one kid um I mean it could even be just take afternoon to yourself and there's a felt sense of it's like I call it a feeling tone like there's a way that it is to be me right there's an energy that is Laura like when you walk in the room There's like this signature, it's like its own note.
00:39:02
Speaker
And everyone has this, right? Like my wife walks in the room or my daughter walks in the room. I instantly know because I'm finally attuned to that, you know, frequency or whatever you might call that.
00:39:17
Speaker
I think that in the same way, the birds and animals navigate using the earth's magnetic field, they're just, they're just naturally drawn one way or the other. I think so too are we, but it requires getting quiet enough until you can become intimately acquainted with that tone you can become an intimately acquainted with that subtle sense of this is the way like I'm I'm drawn this way I don't know why but I'm drawn this way you can call it intuition you can call it spirit you can call it whatever you like um but it's the signal in the noise and the way you can most help yourself I think is to dial down the noise
00:40:05
Speaker
You know, turn off Netflix, set down your phone, create some space in your life.
Trusting Inner Guidance
00:40:11
Speaker
And there's always space. Like, even if it's just 30 minutes or an hour, like, if you can't find space in your life, like, email me, I will help you find space in your life to do this.
00:40:24
Speaker
Don't give away my email address. but um But it's, yeah. I, I think it's that, and then follow your own curiosity.
00:40:35
Speaker
It's okay to step off of whatever path you're on. Step off the path. If you're feeling drawn to take a left or to take a right, there is really no right way.
00:40:47
Speaker
As far as I can tell, um, you know, there's just, where am i leaning toward? What am I guided toward? And I've noticed as I've listened to that and taken steps and you've helped me out with this with red light, yellow light, green light and learning to you know, this thing with the Akashic records and, you know, learning to, accept.
00:41:16
Speaker
And once again, rely on our own self sovereignty and our own inner wisdom uh, maybe the most powerful thing anyone can do in their lives.
00:41:27
Speaker
And however you think, however you're drawn, that seems like a path toward that follow that, you know, i mean, i had, i mean, I joke about the psychedelic thing.
00:41:40
Speaker
i mean, I experimented with that and I say experimented and I mean, very intentionally, i don't mean recreationally, I mean, very intentionally with people that are, yeah, trained in lineages and right and supported and guided with counselors and things like that yeah um but whatever it is that you're drawn to you're drawn to that for particular reason in the same way that a bird is drawn to a true north and i think that nobody can tell you what that is for you you have to discover it for yourself which means you have to learn to trust yourself again
00:42:18
Speaker
and you have to learn to follow that inner guidance. And all of these books, all of the online courses, all of the gurus and teachers, um ultimately, like they're pointing to that so that you will no longer need them, hopefully.
00:42:35
Speaker
you know It's like once you get the answer, hang up the phone and go live your life. Yeah, yeah.
Questioning Identity and Final Thoughts
00:42:41
Speaker
And i mean, you're somebody who is read so many of these books and done so many of these different programs, you know, you're your knowledge on the different literature and you've studied, i mean, you you were raised very Christian and and that experience. And so you have a ah depth of of knowledge.
00:43:05
Speaker
In the end, when you think about
00:43:10
Speaker
your understanding of what has been spoken through, you know, whether it's religious studies or philosophies or spiritual texts, um,
00:43:22
Speaker
Is there something you come back to over and over? is there a particular book or a particular ah turn of phrase or just even a philosophical view that you're like, for whatever reason, this one, it just continuously speaks to me. you know I've got the T.S. Eliot poem that I just, I can't get over, right? This few lines and in the four quartets, it's like, the still point of the turning world, they're the dances, right? I feel like he communicated the stillness in motion, this evasive, like elusive space perfectly in in that piece.
00:44:03
Speaker
Is there something that you, or some theory that you feel, ah you know, that's as close. We don't know, right? We don't know what the unknown is. We'll never know. We can only approximate there's the veil between us and and the unseen. But is there anything that just, you know, connects to you?
00:44:23
Speaker
There is. I know there's a lot. Yeah. There's one thing actually. But before I share what that one thing is, like, I have to say that the secret is that there's no secret.
00:44:37
Speaker
There's just no secret, right? ah There's this guy, Ramana Maharshi. And probably lots of people have heard about this guy. um And he didn't speak for many, many, many years.
00:44:50
Speaker
He lived in India. He's a guru. And he said, the like the only thing that's really required is one question. Who am I?
00:45:01
Speaker
And just contemplate that. Like when I say I, you know, like I accept myself. Well, who is I? Like even in that, like recognizing that there seem to be two different things happening. I and a self that the I accepts.
00:45:23
Speaker
I accept myself. Who am i What does that even mean? Like what is i Like if you would strip away all of the stories that I have about myself, like if somebody were able to give, if I were able to give you a pill, that if you took it for 24 hours, you would have amnesia.
00:45:45
Speaker
Like all of your memories of all the traumas that have happened in your life, all of the good things, all of the beautiful joys, all of the hard things, all of the things that cycle in your mind over and over and over and over silenced all of those.
00:46:03
Speaker
for 24 hours. Would you be you? yeah Yeah, without the story of who you think you are and who you think others think you are.
00:46:15
Speaker
And so it's, you know, like, for me, these different things like sitting in the dark. That was the one question I sat with is, what is this thing I call I?
00:46:26
Speaker
Who am I? And it turns out, it's mostly ah ah story. But beneath that story is, is this ineffable, unpin downable awareness that it just simply, I am, I just, I am, i exist.
00:46:49
Speaker
i know I exist and everything else is, added onto that. And so that's my one thing is who am I? So I'll just walk in the woods and I won't even like think hard about it. It's just like, huh, who am I?
00:47:04
Speaker
just kind of relax and who am I and then inevitably these little intuitions will pop up not as really thoughts but just kind of as feelings you know and I'll realize oh um I'm kind of like the trees here like that's I'm not really living life I'm part of life life is living me And the same way it's living through this tree, just different, you know, i want different things than trees want.
00:47:35
Speaker
Um, I think, yeah, so it's, it's that. I love it. I love it. I'm really simple that way. I'm a simple guy. This was just the really straightforward.
00:47:49
Speaker
Kevin, thank you. i appreciate you. Thank you for sharing your story and your gifts of your wisdom. And you know I'll say again, you're somebody who I speak to on a regular basis and the depth of your experience My contemplation on this topic is always a joy to have in my life. And I appreciate you and I appreciate you sharing it with everybody. And um yeah, any closing words before we say goodbye? um Yeah, just one last thing. Well, thank you for having me, first of all.
00:48:24
Speaker
had to tell everybody... Wherever you are, whatever's happening in your life right now, whatever stuff you're dealing with, um there's nothing wrong with you. You are okay.
00:48:36
Speaker
Like who you are is that vastly, vastly more than you think. And go discover what that is. i love that. i love that, particularly right now. Thank you, Kevin. i appreciate you. Thank you guys for listening. and until next time.
00:48:56
Speaker
Hey, you, you, you,