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SELF LOVE ~ Be The Energy You Want to Attract
6.9k Plays2 years ago
Today’s podcast is all about SELF LOVE and it’s not me just giving you the basics of self love and self care. In today’s episode I explain how scientifically, our words, limiting beliefs and hateful feelings toward ourselves literally damage the energy inside of our body. Therefore attracting damaged energy back.
To use the law of attraction in the way that you want, (to manifest your deepest desires, of course) you MUST love and accept yourself first. I know this sounds obvious, but stating some I AM ENOUGH, and I AM BEAUTIFUL mantras isn’t going to do anything unless you truly believe it.
I discuss some ways that can help you on the journey back to loving and accepting yourself fully, and what is exciting, is when you do this - everything begins to flow into place. Self love isn’t selfish, it’s actually selfless! By spending time, love and energy filling yourself up, you’re saying thank you to whoever you believe in, for making you, you! And of course when we are full, those we love benefit immensely.
I hope you love this feel good chat!
Pass Around the Smile Links Below
FOR RETREAT INFO, SCHEDULE + BOOKINGS CLICK HERE
View my website here! (My very own oracle cards, journals, meditations + more magical stuff available!)
Find me on Instagram here!
@passaroundthesmile
@cleomassey
Join my Facebook community group here!
The Pass Around the Smile podcast is recorded on Bundjalung Country, in South East Queensland, Australia. We acknowledge the Yugambeh people of the Bundjalung Nation, the traditional owners of this land. We pay our respects to Elders past, present and emerging.
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Transcript
Introduction to Pass Around the Smile Podcast
00:00:01
Speaker
Pass Around the Smile is like your go-to friend, the one that lifts you up and backs you to the end. She's there to guide and inspire, challenge and teach, and remind you that your best self isn't out of reach. Self-development, manifestation, self-love and more, it's time to trust the process more than ever before.
Beyond Surface-Level Self-Love
00:00:20
Speaker
Welcome to Pass Around the Smile, the podcast. I'm your host, Cleo Massey, and I am so glad you're here. Let the magic begin.
00:00:29
Speaker
Hello and welcome to another pass around the smile podcast. Today's episode is all about self-love. And I know you might be thinking, self-love, it's a bit of a naff topic. She's probably just going to talk about how you need to love yourself and take care of yourself. You know, self-care 101 kind of vibes, but there is a lot more to this episode than the kind of surface level self-love practices that we see and hear a lot.
00:00:58
Speaker
in the media while all of that is so positive and I think it's so important. I am going a little bit deeper and the reason I am sharing this episode is because of the importance of loving yourself when it comes to manifesting your desires. If you don't love and accept yourself there is no way you can use the law of attraction to your advantage and manifest your desires.
00:01:23
Speaker
It all starts with self-love. If you imagine it kind of like a big ladder, self-love is at the bottom. Self-love and acceptance, believing that you're worthy and deserving. That all kind of comes in at the bottom and it's something that you really have to master. And it's not master 100% of the time. Again, it's impossible to be positive 100% of the time. It's impossible to absolutely love and accept yourself 100% of the time. But we can work on
00:01:53
Speaker
getting a little bit better each day, a little bit more accepting, starting to love parts of our body or parts of our personality that we once didn't love just that little bit more each day. Every small shift is a reason to celebrate and every small shift is getting you closer to living your dream life.
00:02:12
Speaker
I know it might seem separate, the whole, you know, self love, self care and manifesting your desires, but it's not separate. It all works as one. It is all together and connected. When we begin to love ourselves, things begin to flow.
Introducing Hinterland Oasis Retreat
00:02:29
Speaker
So in the spirit of self-love, I want to start off this episode by letting you guys know about a retreat I'm co-hosting. I cannot believe it. It's been in the works for a long time with a beautiful company called Yogable. We are so excited and are so proud of what we have come up with for this retreat. It is called Hinterland Oasis. It's a yoga wellness and manifestation retreat from October 5.
00:02:53
Speaker
to the eighth, so it's a Thursday to a Sunday, and it's just all about nourishing your mind, your body, and your soul, manifesting your dream life and connecting with other like-minded people. We have had a bunch of solo bookings already, so if you're thinking, oh, I want to come, but like, you know, I'm scared to go by myself, please don't be afraid. The deepest kind of self-connection and self-development work is actually done
00:03:20
Speaker
when you're on your own and you have time to let your kind of thoughts just soar and be by yourself and be present in saying that if you have friends or family that you want to come with as well, you can also share rooms. You guys should see the state of art. I want to say mansion that this retreat is in because seriously, it looks like a mansion.
00:03:40
Speaker
Brooklyn from yoga ball has already gone and visited it and sent me videos and just like, wow, it's just, it really is a hinterland oasis. There is so much that you can expect from this retreat, but I don't want to go on and on at the start of this episode. If you are interested, you can pop
00:03:57
Speaker
to Yogables website. I'll put the link in the show notes here. You can also find more Instagram, more info on my Instagram, I should say. But just quickly, what's included is two daily yoga classes for all levels, daily breath work and meditation. My exclusive guide to happiness course over four master classes.
00:04:18
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All meals, snacks, and drinks from our in-house chefs. Yes, in-house chefs. Fresh spring water resort style pool, infrared sauna, cold plunge pool, letting go fire ceremony, heart opening cacao ceremony, welcome goodie bags, and so much more.
00:04:37
Speaker
I'm not going to rant on because it might not be for you and you just want to get into the episode, but it might be for you. So please get in contact if it is. I really urge you to think about it because it is just going to be so beautiful and I won't be doing one of these for a long time after this just because Pass Around the Smile has got so much else on. It's an investment in you and I can promise you we are over delivering. We are very excited about this retreat.
00:05:05
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And I'm personally just so excited to spend like three, four days actually getting to know you and being able to work on implementing positive changes and having that time and space. I love my podcast episodes and I love my one-off events, but sometimes they're just not enough.
00:05:23
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to get into the nitty-gritty.
Impact of Self-Love on Clarity and Manifestation
00:05:25
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All right, let's get into self-love and why it is so important in manifesting your desires. So as I mentioned before, self-love kind of starts off everything because if we do not love and accept ourself, we're not even going to ask for what it is that we deserve.
00:05:43
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And asking, as we know, is one of the first steps to manifesting our desires. But if we are feeling not good enough, if we are hating on parts of ourselves physically or emotionally, internally, hating on parts of our personality, we are not going to have that inner power and love for ourselves to ask for something.
00:06:06
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that we want, or we will, but we won't believe it. So it really, really does start at the very beginning. The other thing is, is when we aren't practicing self-love and we aren't accepting and loving at least some parts of ourselves, our judgment is clouded. So even if we are asking for things that we want to manifest, not only are we not believing that we're worthy and deserving,
00:06:30
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But it's likely that those things that we're asking for really aren't in alignment with what we want. And I've talked about in previous episodes how important it is.
00:06:40
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to actually ask for desires that are truly meant for us and not for anyone else. But often when we're struggling with self-love, we are judging ourselves. So therefore we are wanting to impress others, seek validation, get approval, which could very possibly mean that you are asking for something for those reasons, which is not the right reason to ask for something that you want to manifest.
00:07:05
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because that's not genuinely for you and for you only. That's to prove a point or to gain validation or approval, etc. So first of all, I just want us all to understand how integral self-love really is. It's kind of a similar topic to listening to your heart. They both sound very kind of cliche and a bit naff, but they really are huge.
00:07:27
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huge, huge part in living a life in alignment to us. And that's the other thing, when we aren't filling ourselves up with the self-love practices that make us feel good, we aren't going to be in alignment. When we're not in alignment, we are vibrating low. When we're vibrating low, we are attracting other people, circumstances, things, opportunities, vibrating on that same low level.
The Water Experiment and Self-Talk
00:07:53
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So speaking of vibration, you may have heard this experiment before because I have mentioned it on my podcast, but I do want to tell it again just because I think it's just so powerful. And for me, I like to remind myself of it often when I'm starting to talk to myself in a negative way.
00:08:10
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What happens is they've done this many times with like water, plants, vegetables, but I'm telling the water story. So what happens is they get a bucket of water in one room and they say, I love you. You're amazing. You're beautiful. You can do it. You're capable. You're smart. And they freeze it. And then they get another bucket of water and to this other one in another room, they say, you suck. You're ugly. You can't do this. You amount to nothing. I hate you. And they freeze it.
00:08:37
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Every single time this is done, they then look at the frozen water buckets under a microscope. Every time the first bucket of water that had the positive projections placed on it is frozen in this intricate diamond-like pattern. Whereas the other bucket is frozen every single time in a smashed, cracked pattern.
00:08:57
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Our bodies are filled with 70% water. And again, of course, water is just energy, but it's the energy that resides in our body. So what do you think you are doing to yourself when you are saying, Oh my God, I'm so stupid. Oh, I'm so dumb. Oh, I can't think.
00:09:14
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Oh, I look awful today. You're literally damaging the energy in your body. Therefore, you have a low vibration. You are damaging the vibration in your body. The word damaging is quite harsh. You're not damaging it forever. Just right then and there, that's the energy that your body is feeding off. So next time that you're talking unkindly to yourself, I know it can be hard when we get stuck in a negative rut.
00:09:39
Speaker
but try your very best to distract yourself or just pull back a little bit. Focus on something that you do like about yourself or if that's too far of a stretch, something that you just accept about yourself and that can be a positive step. We must celebrate every small shift.
00:09:57
Speaker
We can't be positive 100% of the time. We can't love ourselves 100% of the time. That is so okay and so normal, but we have to find out ways that work for us where we can get better than our last moment in loving and accepting ourselves. Otherwise, you're not going to move forward and allow your dreams to materialize for you.
Personal Self-Love Practices
00:10:19
Speaker
So self-love is absolutely different to everyone, but a lot of the times I find, especially in my pass around the smile courses or events, I have a lot of moms that say, you know, I don't have time for self-love or self-care practices or people with really demanding jobs. And absolutely I hear you, but what I'm hearing there also is that you think that loving yourself and spending time and care on yourself is selfish.
00:10:47
Speaker
but it's the opposite because when we fill ourselves up, we have more to give to those in, you know, a mum circumstance, your children's lives. So you need to fill yourself up. So what is self-love to you? It's going to be different to everyone. Is it running yourself a bath? Is it taking yourself for a walk? Is it doing your meditation, your journaling, booking in for a facial? Is it repeating some self-love mantras?
00:11:13
Speaker
It's going to be different for everyone, but I urge you please, no matter how demanding your job is or how crazy your children are at the moment, even if you can take five minutes out of your day to just do something for you, it will start to make a difference if you can do that five minutes every day. And not only a difference in how you feel, that will then trickle over to the people that you love.
00:11:39
Speaker
Self-love isn't selfish. It's actually selfless because it's saying thank you to the universe, to God, to Buddha, whoever it is that you believe in. Thank you for making me me. Thank you for giving me this human life that I get to live. I am going to honor that and I am going to love myself and who I am and we've got to remember too that self-love isn't just
00:12:02
Speaker
physical, right? I think a lot of the time when we personally are struggling with self-love, it's about our appearance. It's about, oh, my hair is so greasy, or I look fat today, or I hate how I look in photos. But self-love goes so much deeper than that. What about the way that you make people feel? Or your smile? I know smile is kind of physical as well, but how your smile might make other people feel?
00:12:25
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how you're such a great mother or friend or sister or daughter or brother, whatever. Are you a great listener? Are you really fun to be around? Do your words inspire people? Does your energy lift others up? Whatever it is,
00:12:44
Speaker
Look at the whole scope of what makes you you. And on the days where self-love is hard, it's too far to reach, right? We all have those days and that's absolutely okay. What I want you to do is remind yourself of all the things that you love about other people or that you admire about other people, whether it's someone that you know, that you love, that you work with, or even a stranger that you see on your morning walk.
00:13:10
Speaker
Maybe you love their smile or the way that they dress, their confidence, the way that they laugh, the way that they make you feel. Think of all the things that you have ever admired about other people in your whole life. I bet there are hundreds and thousands of moments where you have admired or loved something about someone else.
00:13:31
Speaker
Well guess what? That's the same as everyone, which means that so many people in your lifetime, and right now as well, love and admire things about you. We can get so stuck in self-hate on our individual personalities and feelings and think that everyone is kind of
00:13:51
Speaker
looking at us and judging us, so therefore we begin to judge ourselves. But what I like to remind myself of is that no one else actually cares. And if people are judging or if people really do care about what you're doing with your life, then it's kind of their problem, not yours. But I really have got stuck in a pattern where I will worry and care about what other people think about me or say about me.
00:14:21
Speaker
when i kind of come back to myself and i'm like this is actually not even about me they're not caring about me they're off doing their own lives and that's amazing it's no one's judging me how i think they are and you might be thinking how is this kind of coming into self-love well self-love isn't just the typical oh i hate my hair i look this i look that i hate this about myself it's
00:14:44
Speaker
when we are judging ourselves, when we're putting that negative pressure that I talk about on ourselves. It's when we are allowing our limiting beliefs to take over. It's when we are visualizing negative things happening in our mind because we're scared of them actually eventuating. This is all forms of that kind of self-hate, self-deprecation,
00:15:08
Speaker
The opposite, basically, of what self-love is, and we all do it to ourselves, but it goes much deeper than just thinking negative things about your appearance or your personality. So I want you to take a minute to think, have you been judging yourself lately? Have you been feeling guilty about certain things? Have you been putting unnecessary pressure on yourself?
00:15:30
Speaker
Because if you have, you are not loving and accepting yourself how you need to, and therefore you're not going to be able to manifest your desires in the way that you want to, or in the way that the universe is trying to unfold these incredible things for you.
00:15:45
Speaker
Another couple of examples that are really not treating yourself with the love and respect that you deserve and I again I'm kind of just trying to think in different ways here that will get you kind of sparking some thoughts like oh yeah I actually do that and I didn't realize that that is stopping me from loving myself.
00:16:04
Speaker
now that we know how important loving and accepting ourselves is in manifesting our desires. So a couple of other things could be not protecting
Protecting Energy and Embracing Self-Acceptance
00:16:11
Speaker
your energy. So allowing people to pull you here, there, allowing people to bring you down when you were up or allowing other people to make you feel small. That is another example of you not loving and honoring yourself.
00:16:27
Speaker
Another one is holding on to resentment, whether it's something that happened years and years and years ago or something that happened recently, but we're holding on to this thing because we're angry or upset or hurt. Well, the only person that you are hurting by holding on to this resentment is you. So again, you're not practicing self-love by holding on to this negativity. See what I mean? How there's a really bigger scope to the self-love world. I really do want you to
00:16:57
Speaker
hone in on the kind of obvious ways that we can self-hate of course on our physical appearance and our personality but I want you to go a little bit further and ask yourself if you have been doing these things because hopefully this is going to be in a heart moment, a realization for you where you can unlock something and then everything can flow on from there.
00:17:18
Speaker
Now, going back to the kind of obvious ways that we can hate on ourselves. So a big one is, you know, when we're looking in the mirror and we're not liking what we see, or we might have something that we've always felt self-conscious about, right? For example, I used to be so self-conscious about the gap in my two front teeth.
00:17:38
Speaker
I begged my mum and dad for braces. I, when they said no, I knew I was going to spend like thousands of dollars when I was older to, you know, get them done, whatever, get it closed up. And I remember once I had someone say to me, I love
00:17:55
Speaker
the gap in your two front teeth and i was just so taken back and i was like what do you mean it's awful like i hate it it's ugly it makes me look like i'm a walrus like what do you mean i was so shocked but what i did in that moment and i'm quite proud of myself for doing this because i remember it was in high school
00:18:13
Speaker
And I kind of took that information and I know I shouldn't have been relying on that outside kind of approval, but like, let's face it, sometimes it's what we need to hear and it's what this high school version of me needed to hear. I ran sorry with that thought that someone else likes my gap. And if someone else likes my gap, it probably means that other people like my gap too.
00:18:37
Speaker
When I started to change the way I looked at my gap, remember Wayne Dyer's quote, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. I had a dentist out of nowhere say to me when he was doing my clean.
00:18:50
Speaker
I'm so glad you have never closed up your gap before because I get asked to do it all the time and it really changes the whole makeup of your face. Like you look like a completely different person. He's like, it's something that's so small, but it really does change. Like the whole kind of structure, I guess, not structure, that's not the right word, but the kind of look of your whole.
00:19:11
Speaker
face, I guess. It made sense at the time. But I remember being like, oh my god, he's so right. Wow. And again, it was external approval and validation that I was getting, but this was starting to happen because I was changing the way I felt about my gap.
00:19:29
Speaker
From then on, every time I'd look in the mirror, I would smile and I'd choose to say something nice to my gap. I would say things like, I love my gap, or I really suit this little gap in my teeth. Or, you know, gaps mean apparently there's this old telltale that if you have a gap in your two front teeth that you're going to be rich.
00:19:48
Speaker
So why not play on that? So just little things like that and started to build up and build up and get better each day. It wasn't like a, oh my God, I'm in love with my gap straight away. But now I do love my gap and I'm so glad I didn't do anything about it. So are there some kind of mantras that you can create for yourself that contradict what you really aren't liking or accepting about yourself, whether it is,
00:20:15
Speaker
physical about your appearance or whether it's something about your personality. I know personally, I used to be really hard on myself when I'd get home from a social occasion and I would think, oh my God, I'd cringe. I was just too much. Like I was just, I had too much energy. I was too excited. I spoke too much and I'd get really judgy and hard on myself. That is a prime example of not practicing self-love at all.
00:20:41
Speaker
But then when I would like talk to friends, they would, you know, say, oh my God, it was such a fun night. Everyone was having such a good time. And I realized that A, no one cared and no one was judging me like I thought they were. And B, I was just having fun and being myself. So that is absolutely okay. So mantra wise, I want you to create some mantras. So for example, mine would be something like,
00:21:05
Speaker
I love and appreciate the gap in my teeth. Now remember on the days where self-love is too hard I don't want you to state this really positive mantra if it feels too far away. If it's going to make you feel like worse it's not
00:21:22
Speaker
it's not the right time to do it. So just wait until you feel a bit better, a bit more accepting or change your mantra to something that's more achievable. Because even if we state over and over and over these positive mantras, if we don't believe them, they're not going to do anything.
00:21:38
Speaker
In fact, they may make us feel worse. Another way to think of that kind of thing that I was saying before, how no one else is actually caring or judging the way that we think they are. What about those times where, for example, your friend has said something to you like, oh my God, I've just been so self-conscious all night, like this huge pimple, like it's really, and you're like, oh,
00:22:02
Speaker
honestly didn't even notice it. Or let's say your friend is like, Oh my God, my hair is so greasy. Like I can't even go out. And you're like, literally, I did not notice that it was greasy at all. These are just everyday examples of how
00:22:19
Speaker
These things don't affect or place any importance on other people. They don't care but why do we get in our heads that they care and then we hurt ourselves by having that thought. We continue that thought making it bigger and bigger and bigger. We judge ourselves, we put ourselves down, we don't feel good enough and therefore we don't love what we have been given.
00:22:43
Speaker
and when we don't love ourselves we're not honoring ourselves and we're not believing that we're worthy and deserving of the things that we want to attract. Another thing to remind yourself of is when you are talking unkindly to yourself that you are talking to that same person who was once five, who was once 10, who was once 15. It is still the same soul, the same little
00:23:11
Speaker
cute body personality, loving energy that is within you, you are talking meanly to them if you are talking meanly to yourself now. That really helps me on the days where I'm being really hard on myself. For me personally, it's when I'm working and I'm not feeling good enough. I have in the past, I've told myself, oh my God, Cleo, you are so stupid.
00:23:33
Speaker
And then what I will do is feel really bad and guilty in that moment because it's not a nice thing to say, but I'll probably do it again and again and again. But what really stops me and gets me thinking is that I imagine my five-year-old self, my inner child that is still within me. Would I call her stupid? God, no. And that really helps me to reframe my thoughts and be kinder to myself.
00:24:00
Speaker
I love a good inner child meditation. I'm actually, well, I have written a really, really powerful one that I did in my four week guide to happiness course that I will try and record and get out, but inner child work is so, so powerful.
Journaling for Self-Love and Acceptance
00:24:14
Speaker
Not only does it help with self-love, but it also helps in listening to our heart and kind of
00:24:20
Speaker
becoming really in tune with who we were always meant to be. So a way that you can practice self-love today, well you already kind of have because you've listened to a self-love podcast episode, but another way if you want to take it even further and something that's just achievable is that you can honor yourself by doing a little journaling session on the things that you love and accept of yourself.
00:24:46
Speaker
However, then after that, I want you to write out the things that you are struggling to accept about yourself. Maybe it's a part of your body or a part of your personality or something that keeps not working out for you. But I want you to write in your journal that you love and accept this thing about yourself. And if writing that you love this thing is too hard, then just write, I accept.
00:25:11
Speaker
this thing about myself or I accept this thing about my personality. So that's one thing that you can do, really honing in on what do you love about yourself? What do you love about yourself? Do you love the way you make other people feel? Do you love your hair? Do you love your fitness levels at the moment? And then what are you struggling to accept? Because that's okay as well. Are you struggling to accept, I don't know, your tummy. Are you struggling to accept the way that you kind of lose your temper?
00:25:39
Speaker
around your family? Are you struggling to accept? What's another example? Are you struggling to accept the way that you can't get motivated at work? There are so many things that self-love expands to. Don't just think of the obvious physical kind of personality things. Go further than that. This is when we break down layers. So I might stop there today. I kind of want to leave this episode there and just allow you guys to reflect on yourself
00:26:08
Speaker
Remember to post in the Facebook group if you have any questions about self-love or if you have any ways that you practice self-love that you really think will help others, please post because we love a good chat and we love a good recommendation. I hope you are having an amazing day. I hope.
00:26:25
Speaker
By the end of this episode, you are feeling a little more in love with yourself than you were when you started this episode, because that was my aim and you are amazing. And we've got to remember that we are all unique. And like I said before, we all love and admire so many things about other people, which means so many people love and admire things about us too. But really the real form of self-love comes with no validation or no approval from external sources. It comes from within.
00:26:54
Speaker
and we have the ability to create that and to feel really full and accepting of who we are just the way we are. All right, I hope you have an amazing day.