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When all else fails...
12 Plays2 years ago
Vernon shares his #1 default answer when people ask him how to handle a unique relational situation. Of course, there are often circumstances that require safety first, but in general, this strategy is his go-to strategy for relationships.
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Transcript
Introduction to Walking Free
00:00:02
Speaker
This is your host Vernon Terrell with Grace Ministries International and it's time for walking free. And welcome back and today I want to talk about something that
00:00:28
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is probably somewhat evident or something we intellectually would believe.
Navigating Failure and Seeking Guidance
00:00:35
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And it's this idea of when failure is not an option, then what? Life throws us all kinds of circumstances and crazy, just a mix of variables and situations and
00:00:54
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The Scripture doesn't always, in fact, it doesn't address every unique situation in life. That's not the design of Scripture. And sometimes we ask, well, what do I do? What do I do? That's, in fact, the question many Christians who are following the Lord, and they genuinely want to do what's right, and they ask that question, what do I do now?
00:01:21
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I can't really find a verse.
Erring on the Side of Love
00:01:23
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I can kind of find a verse. But what do I do? So I thought I'd give you the overriding principle, if you will, to use that word, that you can fall back on. This is a default. This is something that if you need to err in some direction, err this way,
00:01:50
Speaker
And I often will use another word when talking about, you know, if I'm going to, people talk about, well, you need to speak the truth. You need to speak the truth and say the truth and stand up for the truth. And others, you got to act with grace and act with grace. And it's like they're competing. They're really not, if you understand true truth. But I always say I'd rather err on the side of grace.
00:02:16
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That's where I wanna land on, and that's, there's a word, another word, very closely associated with grace. And it's really grace demonstrated. And it's the word, you guessed it, love. This is something, if you need to err in some direction, if you're gonna error, if you will, then make it erring in love.
00:02:46
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He says, love and error? No, it's not. But it can be perceived that way. And many thought that way about Jesus as he was loving those who were not like him, loving those who society had pretty much outcast and scorned and scorned
00:03:08
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And yet he loved them, and he loved them well. And that's what I want to go through here, starting in 1 Corinthians chapter
Love in 1 Corinthians 13
00:03:24
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13. And if you read the chapters before Paul's writing in this letter about the various spiritual gifts that were operating, and I mean, there was some really cool stuff
00:03:39
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that was happening in terms of the gifts of healing, the gifts of prophecy, and the gift of tongues or languages. I mean, it was amazing. And one reason why they really had all that was to validate the gospel. They didn't have CNN and Fox News and MSNBC and all the cable news networks covering everything and validating everything.
00:04:06
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This was word of mouth. This was real life happening and people needed a sense of validation. This is true. This is real. And that's, at least in one part, what many of these gifts were designed to do.
00:04:33
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to not only encourage the church and to build up the church, but to validate this new movement that was happening. And Paul is talking about how these should really operate. And he continues in 1 Corinthians 13, and he kind of hits the pause button. He goes, look,
00:05:01
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If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, so the literal word, I mean the tongues of men, what is this little organ, the tongue doing? It is speaking language. And if I'm speaking with the languages of men, all the different languages, if I could do that and of angels, I guess they have their own language. Although every time they're on this planet,
00:05:30
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If they are truly heavenly angels, they seem to always be talking in one of our languages. We do seem to understand them as at least as best we know. I haven't talked to an angel yet, but I would imagine they would talk for me in English, maybe even Southern dialect. I don't know. Or maybe they help me to understand their own language. Don't know. Never had the privilege.
00:05:59
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But if I were to speak with the tongues or the languages of men and of angels, and by the way, angels in scripture can also mean just messenger in general. Could be the head of a church, of a local assembly there. Could be someone heralding the truth of something. But often it's a heavenly angel. But regardless, if I speak with whatever language
00:06:25
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But I do not have love agape. I have become a noisy gong or a clanging symbol. You're just a bunch of noise. I mean, right here, we're getting, we're starting to get a picture of, okay, this is serious. This is the real deal. He continues cause he's been talking about these different gifts and he'll continue. Uh, after this, he says, if I have the gift of prophecy,
00:06:55
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this special revelation of God to know what's going to, to know about events or people or whatever, perhaps in the immediate or far future. And he continues to know all mysteries and all knowledge. If I've got that type of spiritual gifting that God's given me, and I know all mysteries and all knowledge,
00:07:19
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And if I have all faith so as to remove mountains, plural, what did Jesus say that if you have the faith of a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain singular, be cast in the sea and, and Paul's like blowing this up really big. He goes, if I have all faith so as to remove mountains, plural, I mean, he's really making this big. You got all that.
00:07:46
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but you do not have love, or he goes, I don't have love, I am nothing, nothing. He says in verse three, 1 Corinthians 13, and if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, maybe a flashback to that one guy Jesus spoke to who came up and said, hey, good teacher,
00:08:14
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you know, what shall I do to inherit eternal life? Oh, well, you know, how you doing with the commands? Got that, Lord, got them all. He probably didn't, but he thought he did. Got them all, master, teacher. Awesome, fantastic, now just do this. Go sell everything you have and give it to the poor and come follow me. And remember what was said, he said that guy went away sorrowful.
00:08:44
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because he had a lot of possessions. Now sometimes we take that all, we expand it, we just need to give away everything. That's what it means to connect with Jesus. That wasn't the point. He was talking to that unique individual. That's who he was talking to. That's like if we said, oh, we need to go and buy efficient business so we can have nets and then we can leave our nets behind. Because he told the Thunder Brothers,
00:09:13
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and James and John, he said, hey guys, yeah, leave your nets, come follow me. That was for them, and this was for this guy, the rich young ruler, as he's known, don't know his name. But Paul said, look, if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, I mean, martyrdom, again, making this huge,
00:09:43
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but I do not have love, it profits me nothing. What do I do in this situation? How do I handle this? And you got all these grandiose ideas to really be a good Christian or to do it right. Well, Paul says, look, if I don't have love, it profits me nothing. And let me tell you about this agape, love, he says in verse four. He says, love is patient.
00:10:12
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And love is kind. It's not jealous. It says love does not brag. It's not arrogant. It does not act unbecomingly. It does not seek its own. It is not provoked. It does not take into account a wrong suffered. It does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth.
00:10:38
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This type of love bears all things and believes all things and hopes all things and endures all things. And here's what I want you to remember.
Love as a Default Response
00:10:49
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When all else fails, then what? Well, love never fails. Love never fails. You can't go wrong by loving. You can't go wrong by loving. If you don't know what to do, love.
00:11:07
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If you don't know how to respond, love. Love never fails. He says if there's gifts of prophecy, they're gonna be done away with. If there's tongues or languages, they will cease. If there's knowledge, it will be done away. For right now, we know in part and we prophesy in part. We don't get the whole picture, but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away.
00:11:36
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And there's a lot of speculation. What's the perfect? What's the perfect? Some say, oh, well, that's the Bible. Don't think so. If you believe that, it's okay. When the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. The perfect could be his kingdom. The perfect could be the second coming of the king himself. And then all of this other stuff will be done away.
00:12:03
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He said, when I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child. But when I became a man, I did away with childish things. Whoa, that's almost a, a jab at all of these guys who they're all, and they were all, you know, what's the best gift? I want to have all these different gifts. Give me all the gifts. He goes, you know, they're good. They're not bad.
00:12:30
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He goes, but they can become childish because you're forgetting the main thing. What's the main thing? The main thing here is love. He goes, look, now we see in a mirror dimly, going back to that perfect reference. But then, and that perfect comes, then face to face, then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully.
00:12:57
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just as I also have been fully known. He goes, but now, today, right now, faith, hope, and love abide. These three, but the greatest of these is love. Back to verse eight, you see love never fails. So when you have that situation that you're wrestling with,
00:13:26
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and you don't know how to respond, then I want you to love. When you have that relationship and you don't know how to relate, I want you to love. What does it look like? Give me some handles on that, and that's what Paul does.
00:13:52
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Love is patient. So if the situation calls for it, you don't know what to do, patience. If the situation comes up and it hits you the wrong way and you don't know how to answer, be kind.
00:14:12
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If you're not sure about a situation and it's like, I don't really, man, I feel a little maybe jealous. No, see, love is not jealous. Choose love, not jealousy. Love does not brag. Man, you know, I just did this, I feel really good. Okay, awesome, love. Don't brag, don't be arrogant.
00:14:39
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You know, I've said it before that in our hiring, I want to do our best that we don't hire folks who are arrogant or unkind or who are not humble. That's not the type of people that we want to hire. I want to hire those who are loving, those who are kind. We can teach them a whole bunch of stuff, but it's hard to teach that that that comes from an encounter with Jesus.
00:15:08
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which is what
Transformative Power of Love
00:15:09
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we call also our program of discipleship. It's encounter, the encounter, where you encounter Christ. And it's in a group setting. Awesome, awesome. Seven or so months of experiencing Christ. That is what to do. When all else fails, love.
00:15:34
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You say, well, people will misunderstand. That's okay. You're in good company. They misunderstood Jesus. Love anyways. But it doesn't, it feels like they're walking over me and love anyways. Love is patient. Choose love. Love is kind. Choose love. Love is not jealous. Choose love.
00:16:04
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When you want to get back, choose love. Don't act unbecomingly.
00:16:10
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You see, love does not seek its own. That's what changed the world. There was no Bible. There were some letters. There was no printed Bible that they were giving out at every street corner. What changed the world was those who were changed first by the love of Christ, and then they went out and loved. That is what changed the world. Change your world. Change the paradigm of your family. Change the paradigm of your work. Change the paradigm.
00:16:41
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of your friends, your relationships, how? Loving, choose love. That's what this is all about. How shall folks know that you're a disciples by your love? It's interesting, by your love one for another, because the church has enough problems
00:17:04
Speaker
without fighting each other and bickering with each other, we choose to love. It looks like this, patience, kindness, not jealous, not bragging, not arrogant. There's a lot of knots in there. It's one who acts becomingly, not unbecomingly. It doesn't seek its own. It's humble, not proud. It's not provoked.
00:17:32
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It's being a quick forgiver, because you're going to suffer wrong, and it does not take that wrong into account. It doesn't rejoice in unrighteousness, but you see, it rejoices with truth. The hard part is those last few in verse seven, and this is where the rubber meets the robe, where you think, oh, I'm gonna be misunderstood. It bears all things.
00:18:03
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That little word bears all things. The word means to cover over in silence. It hides the faults, if you will, of others. It bears underneath that. Now, I'm not saying if you're not safe in a situation, if you feel unsafe, get out.
00:18:32
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Absolutely get out, get safe. But in the general course of life, we learn to bear up under. It doesn't mean you can't speak and share your heart, but you humble yourself and you bear all things. You believe all things. Oh, how naive that is. You believe all things and it's like trust. You can verify, but you start off with trust.
00:19:02
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That's a beautiful thing when you can start off, oh, I believe you, thank you. You can verify and say, hey, I found this is something I found some new information. You bear all thing, believe all thing, hope all thing, you hope for the best.
00:19:22
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You believe in the person. You bear up under that situation and you endure all things. You endure the wrongs coming at you. You see, love never fails. Your strategy that you have for that situation may fail. Love doesn't fail.
00:19:52
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And that's what I want to encourage you in today. The one strategy in the scripture that can cover a whole bunch of situations without naming the situation, it's just those four letters, love.
00:20:11
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In the Greek agape, it's the same love wherefore God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him would not perish, but have eternal life. That's the love. This love is a giving love. This love is an action love. This love is a humble love.
00:20:42
Speaker
This love is a kind love. That's what changed the world, and that's what will never fail. So let me encourage you to put away some of the childish strategies, and by the way, we all have knee-jerk strategies that we go to. It's our go-to.
00:21:08
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that we've learned, if you will, after our human existence, after what the scripture calls the flesh, these strategies to cope in life. We've learned them, they've worked for some, they've worked well, others, maybe not so well. But they're often our go-to strategy. And what we want to do is learn
00:21:34
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how to allow Christ and his love to respond, not react, but to respond. And it's hard to do that if we've never received his love. And that's where John really
00:21:56
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In his letter, some say his sermon, but of 1 John chapter 4, and 1 John chapter 4 says this in verse 16, we have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us.
Personal Acceptance of God's Love
00:22:27
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God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
00:22:35
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By this, love is perfected with us so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment because as he is, so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love cast out fear because fear involves punishment and the one who fears is not perfected in love.
00:23:02
Speaker
We love because he first loved us, verse 19, verse John 4. So in order for you to be able to express love, you have to first receive love. And verse 16 is very clear. We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us.
00:23:33
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Have you? Is that a true statement for you? This is what John is saying. What about you? What about me? Have we come to know and believe the love that God has for us? That word know is that fullness of knowledge to come
00:24:02
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to know in a very completed sense of I've not only know it intellectually, I've experienced it. I fully grasp it. I have received the fact and the truth. Have you? Do you believe that God loves you, not just the world, not just your neighbor,
00:24:29
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but that God actually loves you, period, without strings, without condition? Have you experienced it? You fully, completely know and can rest in the truth that for you, you can say without hesitation, yeah, he loves me. He loves me.
00:24:53
Speaker
If not, ask him to reveal his love to you. I think it's spiritual. I think it's a spiritual opening of our heart and eyes to see it. And you've got a brand new heart full of love, full of Christ in you. Ask him to tear away some of the lies that are filtering out that truth for you to see the love that God has for you.
00:25:24
Speaker
because God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. When you received Jesus Christ as your savior, you were doused in love. That old you was crucified, a brand new you came to life, and you were united with Jesus Christ in love, you're in him, and Jesus is love, you're wrapped up,
00:25:53
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engulfed in love? That's why this love is perfected in you. So you can have confidence in the Day of Judgment. You are all wrapped up, sealed, signed, sealed, and delivered.
Love Casting Out Fear
00:26:14
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You are signed, sealed, and delivered in love by His blood, by the way.
00:26:22
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That will never be taken away. You can stand confident on that day. That's why there is no fear in love. You don't have to fear God. You're wrapped up in His love. He's not out to get you. He's not. You say, but I kind of got off the path a little bit yesterday. I messed up. You're loved. You're loved. Period. You don't have to fear anything.
00:26:52
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There is no fear in love, so step one, if you need steps, receive the love that God has for you. Let that drive out the fear, because perfect love, and that's God's love is perfect love. Perfect love casts out fear, so receive his perfect love and let that fear dissipate.
00:27:20
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and let it perfect you, let it mature you so you can now express his love without fear of judgment from him. You think, oh, I'm doing it wrong, not express his love. There's no fear in love. There's no judgment. Love.
Practical Expressions of Love
00:27:42
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That's what I want to encourage you today.
00:27:44
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Sometimes we just don't know what to do and I get questions all the time. Well, here's the situation. What do I do? And there's some things, you know, I've got some good ideas to do, but you know what, what my default is. Love show grace express kindness by his grace, by his love, love. There's my answer. So today,
00:28:16
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It sounds good. We talk about it a lot. But would you ask God, first of all, to reveal His love to you?
00:28:29
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Take a bath in His love to really experience it. And then number two, would you ask the Father to show you any steps you need to take to express His love? And it's not you working it up. It's not you, you know, oh, I got to love this person, this person. It's, Father, help me to express Christ. Help me to choose to love by your power and grace in me.
00:29:00
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That's the only way it can happen. And what does that look like for me and for my situation, for my circumstance? And when you do that, you're definitely not just talking about it. You're walking.
Conclusion and Further Resources
00:29:16
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You've been listening to Walking Free, a production of Grace Ministries International in Marietta, Georgia. For more information, go to our website at gment.org. That's gminc.org.