Transcript
Speaker: What's in that pussy glass yours, Lance? What is that thing, by the way? Oh, this is out of ah England. It's one of the two things I took from my mom, these little... If you know what a yardro is, it's like this little ceramic doll, but it's ah in between the base of a glass and then the receptacle part, and I've got a little wheat beer in that bitch.
Speaker: Oh, drinking, are you? Mm-hmm. Good for you. was that Is that like, I just got through half of the holidays, I need a beer type thing? Uh, you know, I was a little post post-game hangover from last night.
Speaker: Uh, so I didn't, you know, i was a little wired. was Wait, was game one last night? i thought it was tonight. No, Chuck. He played last night against the rivalry team. How'd go?
Speaker: Smacked their asses. His team look, I know he's dope and everything, but team look like um they must be pretty good, dude. We're small. We're skinny. We're skilled.
Speaker: And I say we because I made all of them. You've been running those kids since they were five, right? did did ah Did the football player, is he is he playing? Because he he was the size.
Speaker: No, he's not playing. He's going to UCLA early, dude. Because he's a football scholarship. Dude, it's so crazy. That whole thing about graduating early and getting in there. like I don't know, man. this What is the point?
Speaker: I'm not sure. I guess to put on more weight, to get acclimated so that you you hit the ground running during season, but they don't seem to play a lot of freshmen. So I don't know that I get it too much.
Speaker: Well, the only thing they got to do now is keep that freshman happy happy so he doesn't go in the portal. But I still don't get the idea what the what the hurry is. I mean, I guess they can be like, you know what, at this point that is kind of their asset.
Speaker: And they'd rather have their asset managed by them than some high school heritage, high school football clown. So so maybe that's that's the the thinking. Isn't that the problem of it all, though, that they're assets?
Speaker: mean, it's just stupid. it it But it is. But also, like, I don't know how close you guys are to his family, but I wonder if he starts getting paid. Like if he's on it getting a decent NIL deal, does that kick in?
Speaker: Oh, yeah, because another kid went to Nebraska last year. I think he was getting like $80,000 a year. It was just part of the like the overall package for a standard player, and then maybe it was $100,000. And then obviously if you're a a famous more famous skilled position, some of those guys are getting quite a bit more.
Speaker: That's like, what do you got for me? And they're getting there like, we're going to make it rain for you to come to this school. Yeah. It might be based on star rating, too, in terms of your your recruiting. If you're three-star, maybe you get something. And then if you're a five-star, which in football is pretty millionaire.
Speaker: but Yeah. yeah you're You're somebody they've already projected to go first round of the NFL. But, I mean, like Archie Manning, I mean, he's he's a unique case, but i think he's $10 million or something like that to go to University of Texas.
Speaker: That's ridiculous. It's just – I mean, I get they should get the money, but it's it's ridiculous. it's It's like funneling. I just had a rant with, you know, Chris. Chris Wells from Aurora. know lives in Parker.
Speaker: I just had a rant with him about a big article in Denver Post about transferring in high schools and what a mess it is. So it funnels down. My point is it funnels down to all levels.
Speaker: Well, at some point, this is the what this is how way I feel about unions, you liberal pussy. At some point, they were they were fighting for something good, right? Like it it was like, well, the people are being mistreated or whatever. And so these these kids were, you know, ah Like even when we were in college, if you transfer, I think you lost the year of eligibility or to sit out for a year. or you could if you transferred in your conference, like you lost your eligibility.
Speaker: That didn't make much sense either because there are probably some kids that are in a terrible situation for them and they were fucked. But now it's, yeah, like we we have to overdo everything in the United States, right? And we also can't endure any sort of like, oh, you got to work for it. You might have to sit down for a year or something. we can't We can't deal with that.
Speaker: No, we can't. We bounce. No failure. Does that trickle down to D2, D3? Is there money to be made? like Where's the cutoff? It runs all the way through all levels of of college because your guy that went D1 hits the transfer portal.
Speaker: He's unlikely, if he didn't have any tape or he wasn't on the court, he's unlikely to go to another D1 unless he was a big name and just was unhappy. and other people had already wanted him. So he's going to go down D2, which is going to push out high school senior recruits that might have a D2 opportunity.
Speaker: And you have the same phenomenon, although less D3 schools will mess with the transfer portal because they they want more culture there. They want like long standing guys that want to be at the school.
Speaker: But they still will take transfer kids from D2. And so it just really hurts in every sport, football and basketball being the biggest. It hurts all the high school seniors.
Speaker: It's just harder to get opportunities. It's harder to get money. But D2 now has become a a place where it's cutthroat. They own you. They think because they're giving you – half these schools fucking suck.
Speaker: They think that they're giving you a full ride that you know they can run you into the ground. You got to suck them off. You got to suck them off, right? and you got You got to jerk them and suck them. And, dude, it's... ah it's It's such a racket. That's all I'll say, bro. so It's a racket, but I also i have empathy for the coaches because, ah I mean, it's good and bad. They can they can clean up their program like like Indiana football. like They can become a winner quickly, but they're at risk of losing every kid all the time.
Speaker: It's like you probably don't want a kid who averages 25. You want a kid who averages like 17, 25 a bolt you know which or something. gone. yeah he gets too good he's gone Yeah, I think it's a rare coach that likes this system.
Speaker: It's a rare coach that's wheeling a deal and dealing and making it work each year. um i think most coaches would rather build their team, build their culture, have their guys, and add pieces here and there through recruiting.
Speaker: I think it's a joke. Also, that dude is – they're gone too. like that's see You saw the Lane Kiffin thing this week, the guy bolted on Mississippi. to A team that that could win the national championship, he left them to go to LSU. Yeah.
Speaker: stupid I guess, but he's also... It's pretty easy to fix that. like you don't have You don't have these stupid signing dates and transfer portal dates that align with your fucking most important part of your season. It's like, push it back until February.
Speaker: But if he doesn't leave now, they he misses out on a year of recruiting. That's the way everyone looks at it. So, that's why you're getting all these guys fired fucking in the middle of the season because...
Speaker: they If they the schools go, wow if we're not making the decision now, then we then we're losing a year of recruiting. Yeah. Fuck them all. Yeah, dude. Well, now that now that you're drinking again, you don't fucking need anything.
Speaker: That's right. Are you salivating? Are you triggered? Are you fucking like, oh, man, I miss it? ah It's kind of weird. i like i have no desire to drink. like I see it. The only thing I think, like i it's like I can taste a hangover if I see, like not not a beer. Every once in a while, I'll be like, oh, a beer would be good.
Speaker: But booze, I see it. i I'll walk by the grocery store, and I'm just like, oh, God. I can i can picture like ah but like drinking a bunch of vodka sodas or something and being just being like feeling dehydrated and you know and on top of the world.
Speaker: I just, i could never keep going. So the last time I would say I was beyond buzz, not drunk, not just buzz pretty hard was my 40th. We hired break dancers and it was a good time, but like I was carrying around a flask, but I mean, I was constantly drinking water because I'm such a pussy.
Speaker: So how do you do that? How do you hire break dancers? Oh, you go to a booking agency, Craigslist. Come on. Ain't no breaking on Craigs. Yeah. where they Were they pros? You had to go to a fucking agency and they got in there in their lineup. They got a couple of professional breakdancers.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. it's great entertainment. They were great. They did all kinds of crazy stuff. Where was that? ah Your house? My house, yeah. So we cleared out the basement area, which this is a little bigger house up in the mountains.
Speaker: And we had like, i don't know, man. had easily 100 people there. And it was like we hired babysitters for the kids so we didn't have to fuck with those little shits. We could get wasted.
Speaker: what So we're talking about, well, literally 10 years ago. so your kids were, and they were they were they able to enjoy it or you like put them to bed and shit? Or were they out there dancing? they stayed up just as late as us because ah we hire babysitters and the kids, like the basement becomes the place where there's extra food and drinks for the kids. Unless the kid's a little pussy mommy's mommy's boy, they will stay down there because the babysitter's doing activities. So I think my kids were like nine and, yeah, nine and seven.
Speaker: debauchery, I bet. Oh, yeah. I'm at 40th. So the break dancers come and they're just dancing their balls off for like a few hours or is it like they do as a routine and bounce? It's probably 30 minutes.
Speaker: And we yeah cleared everything out of the basement and everybody was in around the wall, outside walls. I hear about this, dude. These guys were like going crazy and they brought me in because it was my birthday.
Speaker: And i ah I did some worm. I did some backspin. Tried to do like the windmill, but Come on, 40. On your head? that video? it's more of like on your shoulders.
Speaker: Did you breakdance when you were a kid? Hell yeah, bro. I won the third grade talent show. Did you know that? With a cardboard or what? Just with the kid. I, at the time, specialized in more of robotic movements, really tight robotic movements.
Speaker: Can you describe the professional breakdance that showed at your house? Just give me a give me a little how they look. Just give me something. They were all Latin. And two girls, two guys. They had wear like matching jumpsuits type thing? No, they were kind of, I don't know, dude.
Speaker: Rapper looking. Hip hop look to them. yeah White beaters with big pants or something like that. i mean yeah thought just dog I mean, yeah. Who are the Millers? Have you seen that movie?
Speaker: Don't be making movie references on POS. Nobody wants that. Nobody wants that. They just want to see me drinking. Know what I'm saying? No, they were normal. and Then they got busy. They put on their own. They brought their own like stereo system, their own boom box. That is amazing, dude. I could talk about this for hours. What what kind of music they play?
Speaker: it's just i don't remember, dude. That's 10 years ago. But they didn't have they didn't need any cardboard because we had this like nice laminate wood type flooring in the basement. And they just it was slick enough and perfect.
Speaker: This is your idea, right? No, I think Sarah's idea. She did it behind my back. She got break dancers for her. Wow. That is ah impressive. And they ah the the dudes were like super athletic with their moves, like crazy stuff. And the girls were also athletic, but they were more styling, more like sexy moves.
Speaker: That's what I remember. Kids loved it. The adults loved it. it's like That's a great idea. I never thought of that. you hear some of that shit? didn't hear any of that. They were just like, wow.
Speaker: That's the last time you got faded, dude? Yeah. and i would say I mean, we had big Christmas parties up there all the time, but I didn't really. I'm just saying that's the last time i was like loose, like real loose.
Speaker: I have two beers, dude. I mean, it doesn't take me much to act like a bitch. Have you listened to my new song, Port-A-Potty? Have you listened to it? I wrote that sober.
Speaker: don't want talk about it. I don't know what how it's dropping, so I don't want to come out and ruin it for everyone. Is that dropping on through our thread? or or I think we should listen to it and ah talk about the comedic appeal, really why it's such a masterpiece.
Speaker: I think that's what we should do here, but not yet. Let's keep talking about some other stuff. you're going to launch it on this show? Yeah, why not? There's no reason not to. you You're feeling loose.
Speaker: Today December 3rd. It's my dad's my dad's birthday, dude. I just got off the phone with Don and Judy. 76, bro. Do you remember them? Yeah. Do you remember my parents, dude? I do, dude. I love them.
Speaker: I wonder what the... I say, I wonder what your mom looks like. I don't think... Last time I saw your mom, I was probably at your wedding. You've been married for 25
Speaker: Yeah, she looks good, man. she looks She's always like, and her face been slow to age. I don't know why. hope you got some of that? i I do. The sun beats me up, so I'm not sure I have that.
Speaker: I think you look the same, dude. the ah Yeah, i want to it's like you see some people like that. Like if you saw my parents, last time you probably saw them was probably my wedding, I'm guessing, right?
Speaker: Maybe 2004, 20 years. Long time, yeah. So you probably would see them as as different, obviously, but you might be like, oh, you look good. But they look fine to me. i don't lie to people.
Speaker: I do not lie. I feel like it happens now, though. like People that look all right when they're in their 70s or 80s looked all right when they're in their 40s, but some people look like shit. Or maybe not even look like shit, but you know there's some people out there just looked old their whole life.
Speaker: but yeah yeah Yes, and they had early wrinkles like on the forehead especially. I mean, it's just genetics, but that doesn't mean they're going to die die young, but yeah. No, some of it's, I got forehead wrinkles. I got wrinkles everywhere, but like, as a lot of people say, they like, they're perfect for me.
Speaker: So she, i have a lot of laugh wrinkles too. Cause life, you know, life is ah is a joyous journey and I'm always smiling. And, uh,
Speaker: You know, whatever. Yeah, man. you want to talk about Are we going to have another episode before you drop and another big number? Let's see. Yeah, we'll have another one. third Next Tuesday is the 10th.
Speaker: No, next Tuesday is the 10th. I hope so. Yeah, we should be able to, although next Wednesday I'm traveling. And then next Thursday is my son's graduation. next Hopefully we can swing next Tuesday, but it will be my last night here.
Speaker: But, yeah. Okay. Or you can do Monday. day You might do Monday. All right, bud. This is good stuff. I'll keep this in.
Speaker: think it – well, I'm not trying to talk about it because know if you want to, but it's pretty interesting because we have mentioned it over the last couple of years. dude I don't give a fuck about 50, dude, because I'll still be finger banging comedy songs all day.
Speaker: As we get there, though, I do feel like what you're actually saying is 50 feels pretty young. So you're still going to make finger bang references. I would have thought when I was younger a 50-year-old would never be talking about.
Speaker: And I have no no like nothing no no shame. Yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong. I mean, there are times where I feel quite pathetic. I feel really pathetic. like I don't know what the fuck I'm doing with my time.
Speaker: I do feel like you're you're just you've just really lost yourself. and I don't know what to do about it. and Then I'll have... This is humorous. I don't know if that's your point, but it makes me laugh.
Speaker: No, it's true. I feel quite pathetic. i mean i'm so I'll sit there and I'll fucking work on a song. I worked on this ah song with with my daughter a little bit on Thanksgiving. I actually... like had to go away.
Speaker: Not when people were here yet, but I like went out of the room for probably two hours just crafting the lyrics for this the song. and And I got out of there, took a shower and I go, what what the fuck are you doing?
Speaker: How are you... Yeah, it's weird. It's just weird. But it's not a 50. Was it a 50 thing subconsciously or and just like, wow, you're you're not an adult.
Speaker: Good job, buddy. It's just a contrast. It's like here my son is. He goes to school. He's like grinding to play hoops. My daughter's in college. She's studying to be an English teacher. She's reading serious books.
Speaker: My wife is still practicing psychology. and so And what am I doing? What am I doing, Matt? Writing acoustic acoustical jams about board of potties.
Speaker: Yes. So which I think is you're the winner. I might be but it does feel weird. It does feel selfish. It does feel pathetic.
Speaker: ah Yeah. So well I'm a little tired today though man because I was up.
Speaker: um I don't know. Yeah, I don't. i don't I'm not that worried about either. I'm a year away from it. But I also I feel like the number 50 sounds better than 49. But ah but I don't. That's not the start of a good bit, by the way. dude I don't get that. Tell me what you mean. It's not a bit. i don't know It sounds like it sounds like the start of a bit.
Speaker: 49, just like, yeah. I don't know something about it. okay It seems like an age of like, I'll say this, it seems like an age of like a slightly fat white guy who might be wearing like a his sports team jersey, kind of pale.
Speaker: And 50 sounds like maybe a wise, handsome wise man who's like... Been through a few bankruptcies. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of like chill and got it figured out and maybe a little salt and pepper, but but it wears it well, you know?
Speaker: 49 sounds like some shithole, like Riverside, California Aurora, Colorado or like a guy in an apartment betting, wearing a jersey, bowling maybe. told you.
Speaker: Start of a bit. I told you motherfuckers. I just pulled that out and turns out it's fucking brilliant, huh? Since you forced me into it. Because you over there trying not to laugh, but I just fucking crushed that freestyle.
Speaker: I was like Eminem and 8 Mile right there. I freestyled that joke, everybody. So go fuck yourselves, pussies. By the way, I'm still 48. I like for a couple days there, you're you're ah two years older me.
Speaker: Yeah, couple days. Pretty dope. But I told you I was up but last night because they had they had their rivalry game last night. Chuck dropped 25, getting to the line.
Speaker: Probably at the line seven times last night. Opening day, 25, dude. they Does it matter and the and like if he averages 25? Is he immediately like first team All-State and puts him in a different tier recruiting? It doesn't matter.
Speaker: Oh, it would help, yeah. yeah it help i mean but His league is tough, too, right? like It's not like he's playing. but at Best in the state, yeah, it's tough. But it's' to average 25, dude, is...
Speaker: It's tough. No way. That's tough. But he i he could probably do it though. He is the he is the the show on that team right now, right? It's his team? No, they got a lot of good stuff, but he's... What's the next highest score if he's 25? Oh, that game, I think there was... scored 80 points. So was like 18, 15, 12. Any dishes? No.
Speaker: so it was like eighteen fifteen twelve any any dishes Oh, yeah. He got dishing. He fouled out kind of technical, though. talking He fouled out like that. He would have had 30 if he didn't foul out. but This is against Arapahoe? Yeah. Cannot resist jumping and trying to block everything. He had three good blocks. One of the blocks was like just one of those where it just is so disrespectful. It just like flies back out into the back end of the court.
Speaker: He could have just grabbed it, and went and but it's like, no. No, I'm just going to volleyball this shit. Volleyball spike it all the way across the court. I assume that rivalry, though, they're kind of friends, right? Or they kind of know each other and shit?
Speaker: Yeah, exactly. like He's got good friends. they They hang out and go to parties together and stuff, too. so It's a little weird. I don't think true typically they're friends, but this particular senior class has been good friends. so It was a little weird.
Speaker: Nah, that's dope. He's the best player on the court, though. Yeah, I think so for that that game, for sure. when went When I came up there and saw you, Arapahoe had a workhorse. Oh, you're talking about Littleton. Two years ago? Yeah, it's Littleton. We don't play them anymore because it's just too lopsided. What are they, check down in class? They're not that big with school either, are they? No?
Speaker: No, they're not anymore. And they used to be powerhouse athletics in the eighty s I like the idea of someone's out there listening to this. I was just going to stop and say, here ko we can we ah we get back on track like entertainers here, dude? Maybe play porta potty? I don't know, dude. I think it's great. Well, it's okay, dude. It's entertaining listen to a dad who's... It's a fucking big deal, actually.
Speaker: I mean, it it is a big deal. this it you You probably will have the luxury of being able to see your son in the next next phase if he goes on the next level, but like... For a lot of people, they em invest so much fucking time and energy and in the U.S. and their kids' sports, and then it's just done.
Speaker: And it's like a void. And like you got that coming. Yeah, yeah, Oh, oh thanks. yeah At least in five years. Depending on where he goes, he if he goes off to some school far away, then would you follow him? just say he pops, he goes 25, 30 a year, and all of a sudden...
Speaker: name of school comes knocking. I won't say Duke. Let's say St. Mary's, California comes. They like big, tall, white guys. We go see every game, dude. Would you move there? I wouldn't move there, but I'd see every game.
Speaker: Well, you'd have to move there do that, dude. No, you fly, dude. You're flying there fucking 35 times? I'd probably, yeah, rent a VRBO for the season, but like if he's playing freshman year, let's be honest.
Speaker: so You just have to you have to you feel it out. That'll be what I'll do no matter what level. That'd be so badass, dude. I mean, even no matter what, if he's going somewhere, it'd be pretty badass to watch him. Especially knowing that I feel... i mean, you know him better me, but I feel like he's still filling out into his body, and he might end up being like a real fucking dominant beast.
Speaker: Maybe. Yeah, I mean, he's one-third into his 17th birthday, so he's not he's not old I hate to put it that way. You don't want to be like, I hope he goes and crushes and that's all it's about.
Speaker: but Yeah, I know. But you're right, man. So many people put so much energy into this. And I will say, never had a personal trainer. Never hired one for that shit.
Speaker: didn't play like some of these kids do club in the winter and in the spring, and then they do two teams in the winter. It's just so absurd. If he doesn't sign a big school, do you do you look back and consider yourself a failure for not for not giving him that opportunity of year-round club? Nope, nope.
Speaker: And never transferred him or into a different high school. So we just stuck with it. And he's he's having fun, which is supposed to be what it's about. He had a great time last night, a great time in that dunk contest, which got on 9 News. Remember the prep rally, bud?
Speaker: I sent that out to a few friends. I sent that out, to and they were like, holy shit. what What was the funniest, I don't remember one of those videos, is the other team, it was an average dunk, threw it off the backboard and kind of did a back scratcher.
Speaker: And ah then their crowd started chanting, who's your daddy? who's your daddy? Who's your daddy? And it was great. it was right before he did this like 360 windmill. And right when he did that, they all, it's like, it's funny. It's like they all fell onto the chair, back onto the bleachers.
Speaker: It was a pretty good moment to like see from a video perspective. Did your son, ah he he'll talk some shit, right? Well, that's why he got a tech dude. He was telling something. The team? i was the The ref was wi right by him, but for some reason he's running back and telling the guy that's a weak ass pussy move or something.
Speaker: I'm just like, what are you doing? But also, dude, what is, like, you got to tee him up? It's fucking high school sports. If say fuck, you can't say fuck. It's a weak-ass freaking move.
Speaker: Was it, dude? Do you agree with him? Was it a lame move? I have no idea. have no idea, man. But, yeah, so hopefully there he's flying out to Dallas right now because they're going to do some games out there, buddy.
Speaker: So it's it's a busy time. Dude, this is so, that's his high school team. Mm-hmm. That's so crazy, dude. I mean, it's cool, but it's like... Well, our trip costs $175, though. it's It's funded by the booster and program. Friends of ours, they're kids at another school.
Speaker: For whatever reason, they're going to Orlando. And I think they all have to pay like $1,800. And they're gone during finals. During fucking finals. It's so stupid.
Speaker: $1,800, dude. And then that's just the trip. but The kids are going to want to spend some money while they're in fucking Orlando. I think it might include like a Disney World Pass or something. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah that's that's what they need, dude.
Speaker: Yeah, that's what the let's go play basketball. I know in between walk around a park for eight hours and then we'll come back play our next game. How many kids on that team or your son's team are have a chance to play at the next level?
Speaker: One, two, four. Four. That's pretty good teams. Yeah. Oh, shit. That's pretty good. Four. And your son's team, is it just him, or is there other kids that might get some chance? The point guard.
Speaker: Yeah, how's that kid doing? He's going to a good D3 point guard, I think. that's him and Him and your son have been playing together for a long time. Yeah, sixth grade. Sixth grade, off and on.
Speaker: Oh, boy. and we We can't get off this, dude. It just pulls us back in, the passion for youth sports. My kids right now are basically playing nothing. That's parenting, man. That's your parenting.
Speaker: That's like, do you force them? Do you not? the the like No, you don't. you know My son's like getting into entertainment. I love it. like He's always talking to me about stand-up comedians.
Speaker: I hate it, but i but I'm like... I think it's great. It's cool. Yeah, but like he'll watch, like I don't know, fucking Modern Family or some shit, or Seinfeld. no' watch He'll just be sitting there bedging out for hours, and he'll be talking about if it's funny or why it's funny or why it's not funny, and I'll be like, if you ever talk to me about the show Friends, I'm going fucking slap you, dude. It's the worst shit ever.
Speaker: And he'll be like, it's almost the same as Seinfeld. And then I was i was like, it's not even fucking close, dude. Are you in insane? but But he's right in the way that... like I don't know. If you if you watch like I Love Lucy and Father Knows Best or some I don't know what two shows or Leave it to Beaver, there is like there's a time period aspect to it where you're like, oh yeah, it all kind of sounds the same. I didn't i never realized it. but it's It's way different. but it's like I could see someone being like, oh yeah, it looks like the 90s. The way you might look at like that's from the 50s. Or like if you saw two pieces from the 20s, you wouldn't be like, that's way fucking, that's edgier. That's different.
Speaker: It just looks like black and white crap. Well, I think it's good, though. I mean, I had a real joy. One of my most... My daughter showed me some fucked up video she wrote for... Or she she created for a class, which was...
Speaker: weird comedy, silly shit that just is right up my alley. Recently or when she was a kid? This is like, yeah, she know she did it. She showed me on Thanksgiving. But my wife is like, oh, okay. oh and And then I'm like, oh, have a feeling your your daughter, she'd probably end up, I don't know why, but I feel like she she'd be good at like standup or so or like or sketch comedy or something like that.
Speaker: oh Yeah, she would drill. By drill, I mean drill the audience in the face. she would dude She would open doors to being like a cute girl who's funny. like it she she would and She seems like charismatic and like not afraid to talk to people.
Speaker: so She could probably create some opportunities for herself just by being like personable.
Speaker: yeah You should consider stand-up, dude. If I ever meet her, I'm going to quit fucking college. quit college, do comedy and go work for Jensen Wong. And i'm gonna tell I'm going to quote George Clooney that if you have something to fall back on, that's exactly what you'll do.
Speaker: I'm just going to keep telling her that. Exactly. I think now's a good time listen to Port-a-Potty. We can talk throughout it. Yeah. If you don't, going to talking about high school basketball.
Speaker: Straightforward guitar work. This is you on the act, right? I'm just playing into my phone. I'm training for marathon, fastest run think I might beat my personal best.
Speaker: I'm running down the path mile five six and my belly starts to rumble and it feels like... Didn't do the rhyme there, man. Didn't do the rhyme. I had to do it, right?
Speaker: In my own head. try to fart, but something wet shoots out. I gotta take care of this ass right now.
Speaker: I know where I need to go. I know where porta potty...
Speaker: That's poop in the toilet there. what he talked about last week.
Speaker: It's guilt labor, baby. Now most people would check out right here. Because you don't want too much potty humor. It's not funny, but this is where you turn it off.
Speaker: kind of romantic
Speaker: Thank God I'll never have to see her again. shit, she's on a bike that could be a part of them. Still catchy. She did repetitive though. You gotta commit.
Speaker: She passes me fast, no ring of a bell. She doesn't say a thing about my outhouse smell. You gotta really listen to the lyrics here.
Speaker: So I turn around and I head back home. When I see the porta potty wear it all.
Speaker: Back at the porta potty now, okay? I feel guilty so I go a good team. I'll find some leaves and I'll clean that seat. I'm gonna go back in and clean the seat.
Speaker: Yeah. I open the door. I am so damn scared.
Speaker: I can see this in an arena situation, everyone chanting along. I can't.
Speaker: really scary she wrote Tina has a bloody vagina Tina has a bloody vagina I'll never forget so if you can deal with the potty humor and you get that surprise and that's what makes it worth it I feel much better cause I know she's crazy my poop disaster no longer endorses me
Speaker: If I ever move all the way to China, I'll never forget Tina's bloody.
Speaker: I know where Tina steals cunt blood. I know where port-a-potty. Yeah,
Speaker: all the crazy stuff in the port-a-potty, boy. Yep. Oh, yeah.
Speaker: That's One take. Is that the that song you wrote with your daughter? that It's a song I was working on where she was just, because it was like nine minutes, and she was like, cut it cut that, cut that, cut that, cut that, cut it.
Speaker: Wow, dude. Now that's a true story, right? That's a true story. And ah what I like about it is that it's bad, as in it's not good.
Speaker: Until you get to Tina's bloody vagina. And it's all worth it then. The great the worst thing about is that name, dude. I never liked Tina as a name.
Speaker: Tina. That's pretty good. How'd that feel to cut it? Why don't you drop that in? So you just record that in your phone. You have... you have could you Could you record on, I don't know, two-track, four-track or something, bring that thing bring that thing in the studio and really, really go professional with it, dude?
Speaker: Take it to the record labels? and it i I could, dude. It would need it to make it work. but like you And I also like have some in the refrain of the riff there and have some like soloing and stuff. but And I need to cut it.
Speaker: It takes too long to get to the bloody vagina. And that's a that's the challenge with it. What's the the four, what is it, 440 right now? Four minutes 40 seconds or something like that?
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, it's a little too long. You want that thing about 345? I don't know what you cut, though. i I know, it's hard to because you've got to explain it. but I want to go off the rails here, but there's a lot of people, not not the second part, I hope, but the first part about people that have in like stomach issues when they're in long races.
Speaker: Oh, it's common. and It's relatable for sure. And I'm sure the porta potties are fucking disaster. i mean This is a true story. Like I've walked into somewhere that the yuck is almost touching the seat.
Speaker: It's like you're going to have to like scoot on the seat to get your yuck in there. I've seen like toilet paper ripped out and pissed all over and like shit all on the side off the seat, like in the area where you might clean your hands.
Speaker: I've seen all that, but I have not seen blood. But I think that it's it's probably happened. Somebody in America has seen that. On the ceiling. Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Absolutely. I don't know if it was written with some guy probably wrote it. I bet you, in fact, somewhere in America, in some gas station, on some bathroom stall or in some porta potty, someone has wrote the phrase, Tina has a bloody vagina.
Speaker: no doubt in my mind that that phrase has been written somewhere. At least big, maybe. while i'm ah i almost just started speaking Spanish. Por lo menos. At least big. Tina has a big vagina.
Speaker: Most likely it was you.
Speaker: Who wrote it?
Speaker: Yeah. Anyway, that song takes a lot of commitment, and that's why it's not a hit, because it takes too much commitment to get to the bloody vagina part, the part that's surprising. When you sent it to me, I thought that was your challenge. of like because I think i might have told i but think I had already told you that I'm coming to Denver, bringing the kids up there, and I thought that was your challenge, like, we're going to open mic, motherfucker.
Speaker: And I was like, challenge not accepted, bitch. I thought you were like, I wrote my song because I was talking to about, well, you should write a song to go to an open mic. And then you i I took it as like, I fucking did it.
Speaker: Pussy. Balls in your court. Oh, I think that will work. And I don't need to cut anything if I did it live. Because live, you could like embellish certain lines. but That's the best thing about being a guitar comic. Because even in the middle of that, you can be like you know what I'm talking about? you'll get You can get stupid laughs just from like... And that song has a done that Like pause breaks all the time. You can be like... Hey. yeah yeah Yeah. You got to keep the riffs very simple. You can do live.
Speaker: I thought of ah i had a... like I had a great... joke idea that came and went ah like a couple of days ago and it's it's beating me up it was very quick and I'm like oh that's a that's good yeah I got another song one about Bitcoin that I want to like the the ballot a Bitcoin ballad and I just want to talk about in an embellished way obviously like all the things that Bitcoin can do for the world ah These people that are into it are just like, they're so obsessed.
Speaker: They're into Bitcoin. It's like, do you think Bitcoin will cure cancer? they would they would They would argue that the wealth creation or something might might cure cancer? They would argue that Bitcoin will do everything.
Speaker: they They're arguing Bitcoin will be worth a billion. A billion each. I think it will. Okay.
Speaker: Well, worth is a strong word. Valued at, I would say, is is what I would say. Well, when you think of magnitudes, it's like when it was at... So it's 100,000. It was at nothing in our life. It was at 10, 5, 0 cents, right?
Speaker: in our In our adult lives. But that's 1,000 times its current market cap. Let's say the market cap is $2 trillion. Yeah, that's the issue. But I'm saying that it's already a thousand times. It already happened to it.
Speaker: Well, let's see. It might even be more than a thousand times. But like that's more than the all the wealth in the world. Like it's I don't yeah I'm not sure I understand. It's just like everybody dumped every other asset and just is like this is the only one.
Speaker: All as I'm saying is like everything it's everything seems normal now. so at all it's all But if you think if you thought, if I would have told you when we were in our 30s, maybe in our 20s, that a company would be the have a market cap of $5 trillion, you'd probably be like, nah.
Speaker: Well, it would have sounded it would sounded crazy. You would you would have might be like, yeah, you never know. but like So it's not it's like the the sky seems to be the limit. Yeah, but companies I understand.
Speaker: I just still don't understand Bitcoin. I'm not going to get into it, but anyway, it'll probably cure cancer. and probably feed all the poor. it'll probably like solve climate change. It's just a great, amazing thing that if you don't want own it, fuck you.
Speaker: It took a dive, but I think it, now it's popping again. oh it's one i'm I'm pulling it up now that you mentioned it just to see. Do you know what they call that? They call that a dead cat bounce.
Speaker: Because it's it's all lies. It's about to tank. It's called a dead cat bounce, boy. You think it's tanking? I have no idea. I have no idea, but it'd be nice. Honestly, I'd like it to tank.
Speaker: I don't know how much money. I just think it's a ridiculous thing, but I think it's it should be worth about a dollar. i thought I thought it was actually the market cap was more. It's 1.85 trillion.
Speaker: Yeah, it was around there too, too, yeah. I think, yeah. That was kind of, that was kind of, but you do have this thing with the Mac, like, I don't know. you know when it's going to hit the Mac supply?
Speaker: a couple of years, maybe it's getting harder to mine, I guess. But ah do you have a full Bitcoin? A full one? Fuck no. Oh, no. That's 92,000. No, I haven't. Oh, you wouldn't put that much in it.
Speaker: I'm not sure. I was way late to the table. Oh yeah. I mean, I would have made money. I guess at the time i i had some money, so i spread I probably spread that amount of money around in a bunch of stuff. If I would have just put 50 grand into Bitcoin at the time, that would have been something. but I think it'll probably, but you probably agree that it's probably going to go to a million sometime, don't you think?
Speaker: I don't know, man. I really don't know because I don't know what sustains its value other than more demand. and like ah maybe these these people I think you either have to believe in it for eternity, it's not like a normal investment. It's like a kind of a cultish following.
Speaker: If to believe in it for eternity, you wouldn't, like Nvidia as an example, you wouldn't say to me, oh, I'll hold that forever no matter what. It's just, but for some reason, Bitcoin is like, got some weird psychological thing going on. I don't trust that kind of behavior.
Speaker: I think what you're saying, like it's outside of the it's like outside of the rules, outside of the game. So so people could say, well, it could go crazy because it's not. Even NVIDIA Apple, there's some structure where that some of the valuations are tied to that you could explain. You might be like, yeah, it's ridiculous, but but there is like ah something.
Speaker: It's revenue or a forecast. like They're selling something, building cash flow. Bitcoin, I don't i don't really know. and And like what's to stop another thing from replacing it or another fad or another opportunity? Yeah, that's the weird thing. Yeah, where does this go? But I don't know. I mean, I'm i'm wrong every day.
Speaker: I'm waiting for the market to go down 15% and I want to market time that shit even though that's against my own personal principle. But it just feels a little crazy out there. But the Bitcoin thing, dude, I don't get it, buddy.
Speaker: People love it. It could be Blockbuster, dude. It might be. You know, there's a lot of old boys, old economists who are like, this is basically a Ponzi. But, you know, they're old. and though They're usually, when you get older, get little more doomsday.
Speaker: I just, I don't know what to do about that thing. I just enjoy watching it. I just think there's so much absurdity around it, the behavior. So I was typing into Google today, really dumb stuff.
Speaker: And, um, the AI engine was like kind of validating my question, which is to tell me that people have asked these questions before. I put like, when will Bitcoin hit one trillion? And... Did you get an educated answer? It's like logically trying to answer that. And then there are articles down there.
Speaker: I mean, there are there are a ton of articles saying it'll hit a billion. if That's not weird cultish thinking. I don't know what it is, dude. I just find it fascinating. That's why I bring it up and write songs about it.
Speaker: a Billion is is ah crazy, but the they did the one thing they did bright if it if it doesn't change is that it has a limit on on how many can be produced So what there's all kinds of rare things in the world Well, that just makes it like it just puts a It puts some money that people are like I gotta I gotta get it now.
Speaker: Yeah, no, there's definitely hype. There's a hype cycle about it. I just, how long will that last? I guess is my question. because Well, if you had someone, when would you get out? Now? Right. edit I don't know.
Speaker: i have no clue. It's impossible to know. Maybe it does go to a million. there's There are companies, whole companies, their entire strategy is just buying Bitcoin now. I mean, I know a lot of people, especially when you get outside the U.S., that are that they pay their employees or they like in their employees are like, no, just pay me in Bitcoin.
Speaker: They want it. that's ah That's the only valid use case is if you're in a bum country, I think, and your currency sucks and your government is crazy, you probably want some decentralized currency. The only problem with that is that criminals have found new ways to come and rob you of that Bitcoin. It's not it's more tricky than working through a traditional financial system where they can track it.
Speaker: You ain't got no receipts, right? Yeah, exactly. But... I'm glad you have one, or half of one, or a quarter of one. Fucking, I mean, not even close. Okay. Well, you bought five grand worth?
Speaker: Yeah. Exactly. Well, they all move together, it seems. They all seem to move together. Yeah, that that kind of sucks. i wish I don't think they're popping the way that, like, you're never going to get that weird one where...
Speaker: Shibu Inu or whatever is going to pop to a billion dollars or anything like that. but I know. It's kind of like it's tamed down because you got JP Morgan, you got all the big Goldman Sachs. They're all gotten in the game. they created ETFs. It's all mainstream. So now it's going to be, I don't it's going to run like gold or something something boring.
Speaker: No one's popping anymore, dude. I still think if you're lucky. don't they do. an early bet into a stock that goes ballistic over a long time frame. There's just no comparison of that kind of growth on what on a consistent basis. I think big Bitcoin is like this weird outlier. But like, yeah, you get into a company early, dude, you become multimillionaire, just very few shares.
Speaker: It's I even the market, though, like ah like at the same time I got the Bitcoin, I got some Apple. I got more Apple. But like what are they what are they doing i mean they're fucking going crazy yeah i mean i know they're constantly generating a hundred billion dollars in revenue quarter over quarter but but yeah they're doing well business uh with their core business but they're investing in ai that's what's driving those main those big guys are you a stock picker you buy the individual stocks you buy like a
Speaker: Yeah, I buy the individual stocks. Bought. You do? Homeboy ain't got no funds, boy. No, but you don't buy them. but i had ah I had a 401k fund, but the all these I'm just buying by myself. but I got Apple at like 120 a few years ago.
Speaker: That's good. It's at 284, though. like It never stops it's never stops going up lately. oh Does that seem right to you, or does that seem weird? No, it seems right based on their success and based on the AI momentum.
Speaker: It remains to be seen though, if that company won't get into the kind of the fourth quarter of the lifestyle of the life cycle of companies where they become slow and they're, it's harder for them to innovate and harder for them to remain on top, which seems to be the fate of every giant company. And that is not a time of growth. That's a time of just,
Speaker: collecting dividends and having a stable investment. So some people think that it's coming to the end there. But do you think you think there's a different thing at hand here? Because they like so they've got so much money.
Speaker: like they're not there're They have so such a capable amount of money that they might be able to never they can they might be able to just never stop and ah growth the growth cycle through investment.
Speaker: like they I don't know what else they could do though. like So they're investing in AI. Should they get into like, I don't know, buying up the world's real estate or water rights? or they they they They could get into that kind of shit. Well, that's what G g did.
Speaker: G did that and then diluted itself and did a lot of those businesses got sold off. But no, man. At the end of the day, like is the iPhone, is this device that we carry, is this like going to be the shit for the next 40 years?
Speaker: Probably not. Lansack like he know everything, but he is right about one Crypto is for pussies, crypto is for pussies. I invest in puke, human puke. Collect it in a bucket, gonna make the duck gets. The world runs on puke, the world runs on puke. Crypto is for pussies, crypto is for pussies.
