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Ska'd-venturer's Guild - 0 - Three Orcs Down
176 Plays7 months ago
CP/SC is selling out! Rob, Celine and Joey do a Dungeons and Dragons real play with friend and theme song creator, Keelan as Dungeon Master. In this, the session 0, the CP/SC crew craft their characters, delve into the world and do a first draft encounter in preparation for their first full adventure! It's DnD with a Ska twist! Tune in April 30 and May 7 to hear Parts 1 and 2!
CP/SC will be performing LIVE at SPI Fest 2 in Connecticut May 17-18! Tix at www.spifest.org
Hosts: Celine, Rob and Joey
Engineer: Joey
Editor: Cutman
Skassociate Producer: Chris Reeves of Ska Punk International
NEW MERCH: www.checkeredpast.ca/merch
Patreon: www.patreon.com/checkeredpast
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Transcript
Introduction to Ska-themed D&D Session
00:00:00
Speaker
On this episode we sell out, oh yeah, it's session zero of a skaified Dungeons and Dragons real play on checkered past the skaadcast.
00:00:46
Speaker
What up, Checkerheads? Welcome to Checker Pass the Skycast with Selen and Rob, the show where a scob-scoblin' and a good morning heartache, you're like a cobalt friend. Explore the history and impact of a different band each episode. Hope to bring in new fans along the way. I'm Rob, and this is my co-host with the most toast, Engineer Joey. Hi. Hey, did you get that one? Yeah. Guess when I wrote it? Just now. Just now, two seconds ago. You were doing a lot of typing furiously. You're furiously typing over there. It all came to me just at once.
00:01:15
Speaker
But hey, making up stuff on the fly really has something to do with what's going on today. A little
Podcast Format and Host Introductions
00:01:21
Speaker
bit. So we're going to be sharing a very special episode. Joey, do you want to tell them a little bit about what we're doing?
00:01:29
Speaker
We're playing D&D, baby. So this came about, it was probably on an episode or off an episode or on Discord. I don't know, it could have been anywhere. But somebody really was like, oh man, if you did a real play Dungeons and Dragons, I'd be a part of that. And we didn't get anybody to be a part of it, except for people who were here in Edmonton. Yeah, it was just too technically difficult, I think.
00:01:51
Speaker
But that being said, we did get Keelan to be part of it. Keelan, known for writing our trombonist theme and our different cover versions of OAO for the... The
Launching a Ska-infused D&D Adventure
00:02:01
Speaker
one you would have just heard. Probably. That's right. Yes, correct. For the purposes of this record, since we're recording this kind of out of order, they would have absolutely heard that.
00:02:12
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And so we did a, we set it up on your kitchen table. It was me, you, Selene, Keelan, DMing it. And we did a Ska sort of version of Dungeons and Dragons. Yes. Yeah. And. Good time.
00:02:29
Speaker
So this is definitely in the vogue of current favorite podcasts, like Real Play, Dungeons and Dragons, like Critical Role, Dimension 20. I'm probably sure I'm missing a bunch. There's like piles of them. Nerd poker. There's a million different ones. So we thought we would do our ripoff version since the podcast is basically a ripoff of another podcast anyway. We thought we would just do that also. Also, it kind of, I know that we have a couple of listeners who are like,
00:02:57
Speaker
get like dnd talk peripheral dnd talk and they don't really they've never played or they don't really understand how the game works so uh listening to us bumble through a little quick campaign will you'll be able to learn i hope so i think i will be honest we probably didn't stop to explain rules nearly as much as we could have uh this is going to be a heavily edited episode we took two hours and a bit to do the session zero which is just us
00:03:27
Speaker
creating characters and going over the world. And then the actual play of the adventure is spread out over another two episodes. So you'll get three total episodes of D&D goodness. This is like our Lord of the
Character and Adventure Setup
00:03:41
Speaker
Rings. Kind of. That's a trilogy. That's an example of a trilogy. Yeah. Yeah. A fantasy trilogy. That's right. Most fantasy series are trilogies, I find. Except for Dark Tower, Wheel of Time.
00:03:54
Speaker
Game of Thrones. A bunch of them. Most of the famous ones. Technically even Lord of the Rings isn't really a trilogy if you count the Hobbit and the Silmarillion. Yeah, there's like a lot of stuff going on there. We are playing fifth edition Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, and we were playing on Roll20 just to ease the process. Roll20 is an online version.
00:04:16
Speaker
But using the magic of foley, I will be inserting things like dice roll noises and stuff, I'm sure. I will be editing it later after we record this little teaser to get into the episode, but I don't think it requires a great deal of past Dungeons & Dragons knowledge since Keelan did a pretty good job of not like
00:04:35
Speaker
making it a part of a different world per se it's definitely like in universe to be in the modern times even though there's magic and stuff happening but you don't have to know what the types of monsters are or really the classes and races and stuff because we're all just
00:04:52
Speaker
Really just doing make-em-ups. And Keelan's quite a good DM, so he describes things as your normal. You'll follow. I think so. I think you'll follow along quite well. So this episode, yeah, it's just us. It's the session zero is what Keelan calls it. And it's us building our characters, coming up with our backstories. He's going to explain the world that we inhabit, and then we're even going to have like a little mini encounter with some baddies to just kind of get used to our kind of character flow.
Character Creation and Ska Integration
00:05:21
Speaker
We originally had the plan of this being a Patreon exclusive, but when it was done, we decided it was so good that we should get it out in front of everyone. We'll say that the entire adventure is out uncut for patrons, so if you would like to hear the entire thing, www.patreon.com slash checkeredpast. Speaking of extended editions. Yeah, that's right. Speaking of extended editions, there's a director's cut. Yeah, totally. Which means there was no cut. No cut. No cut.
00:05:48
Speaker
No one edited it. Imagine it was kind of me. The cut man was nowhere near. The cut man was nowhere near, nor to be found, but he is all over the rest of them. I think that's about it. Is there anything else that I need to go over before we let the listeners in? No, I think we can explain everything in the app. Okay. Without further ado here, session zero of the Skod Ventures Guild. So this is, what are you calling this, Keelan? You're calling this episode zero?
00:06:16
Speaker
I guess so. Adventure Zero. The Scott Ventures Guild. That's called the Scott Ventures Guild. That's a great name. That is great. Thank you. Keelan, our master songster who made many of our theme songs for our brackets.
00:06:33
Speaker
graciously DMing a Ska-based D&D adventure. We're doing it. We're doing it. And so we're gonna do like a pre-show that is us kind of figuring out what we're doing and then there will be a full adventure that will go out to the world later this month. So this is inspired by
00:06:55
Speaker
I don't know, other, like, nerd poker, critical role, better, better, more famous D&D podcast we're figuring it out. Was that Brian Posey in one? Nerd poker. Nerd poker. Nerd poker. Nerd poker. But we're gonna do our damned best because we've played D&D before, so. Yeah. Many times. Yes, I have constructed a adventure for you guys, basically themed around your guys's podcast and bands and being a musician and all that wonderful stuff, so.
00:07:25
Speaker
That's silly and fun. Yeah, DIY. Do we even want to talk about our history with D&D at all? Well, we could save that for the full episode. So we're just building our characters and everything? So yes, what we're going to do is we're going to start by building some characters. Basically, the things we're going to do in this session zero is we're going to talk about the world.
00:07:50
Speaker
the characters that you guys are going to build, their classes, you're going to choose classes for them, also backgrounds, spells, equipment, and we will be building level three characters for anybody who is familiar. We are using the fifth edition of Dungeons and Dragons for anyone who is familiar with the game, and we are also using Roll20 as our virtual tabletop today to basically play the game.
00:08:21
Speaker
Yeah, after we build the characters, there's a couple of other things that we need to kind of go over, including getting you guys set up with your instruments, because you guys are going to be part of a band, the three of you. You guys have magic items that you will be selecting. We also have just some other small little housekeeping things as a band and your characters that we'll be assigning. We'll also be creating an NPC together. Fun.
00:08:47
Speaker
that you guys will be basically, that'll exist in the world, is a celebrity in the world that all of you are going to go see as part of the main adventure. And then I think we'll kind of end things with a small encounter that I'm gonna run for you guys here in session zero so you guys can get a little bit more familiar with your characters and everything that is going on in Roll20.
00:09:10
Speaker
Perfect. That's exciting. That's exciting. This is going to be loosey-goosey. Doesn't have to be fancy. Roll 20 once, or we did it a few times in the pandemic. I've used it. Lots. Caitlin and I play every week. Slash roll 1d20. Yes. Right? I think so. Now you can just click the dice. Now you just click the dice. Oh, we used to have to put in commands. We're using DAWS prompt. That's why I wanted to sit beside you. I'm scared about those buttons. There's buttons now. C-colons slash durr slash w.
00:09:40
Speaker
Anyway, uh, okay. So we're going to actually start with a building, uh, Joey's character here, the barbarian first. Okay. So you have selected to be a halfling, a barbarian. So, uh, if you go into rule 20 here and to, uh, the barbarian character sheet, I have started the character Mancer. Yep. I got it. I got her up and running. So if you want to, you can just start Mancer clicking through. Yeah. We'll, we'll get to it. And why are you a halfling Joey?
00:10:08
Speaker
Uh, to be honest, I am going halfling in this game and also barbarian in this game because I am very familiar with both of them at the moment. So I'm, I'm going for ease of mechanics this time. We
Beginning of Ska D&D Adventure
00:10:21
Speaker
will have to reintroduce these characters in the full session anyway, but I just was curious.
00:10:24
Speaker
And then, so alignment, I won't press you to choose an alignment or anything like that. You can pick your sub race, which is, you're gonna probably pick, I think it's whichever one gives you lucky. Lightfoot, I believe, yep. Maybe a stoat would be good for a barbarian, but Lightfoot, yeah, I'm gonna go Lightfoot. Isn't that the dinosaur in Land Before Time? Stoat. Littlefoot. Oh, that's Littlefoot. Oh. Gordon Lightfoot. Gordon Lightfoot, Canada.
00:10:52
Speaker
who skill proficiency is we're in a city correct uh so you guys uh when it comes to your skill proficiencies uh probably just kind of yeah think of of where your your your background for your character what you guys kind of might have uh in mind for your your backgrounds
00:11:07
Speaker
So I guess I should probably say like you guys are existing, we'll clarify this for now, that you guys are existing in a kind of a modern world. It's, you know, there are phones, there are computers, there are cars. It's all very magic based though, all the system. Not like a specific time, just modern.
00:11:31
Speaker
Modern, yeah. I think what we can do even at this point in the session zero is kind of hash out, is there like a specific time period that you guys would be enamored with? The 90s, no. 70s. Because you could do like a whole summer of Ska kind of thing. Oh yeah, that's true. 96. We exist while Ska is really popular. That is kind of fun, actually. Yeah.
00:11:51
Speaker
97, yeah. Yeah, mid-90s, kind of a mid-90s aesthetic. Let's do that. I love it. I'm going intimidation and athletics because I'm a barbarian. Yeah, so for a barbarian, you're going to want strength and constitution probably. Yes. What are you going to get poisoned by in the mid-90s? What was a big thing? Oh, mad cow disease. You got good constitution of mad cow disease. I can drink so many floating balls that have orbits.
00:12:21
Speaker
Vitamin D overdose from too much sunny D. Uh, do you have a standard barbarian point by? So I would say abilities for abilities, uh, go strength, uh, go like max strength. Yeah. Uh, I would also.
00:12:41
Speaker
I wouldn't skimp too much on dexterity because that sets your armor class. Yeah but I can be real dumb so that's all right. Yeah uh your intelligence and wisdom I wouldn't read too much about even your charisma I wouldn't read too much about. That's okay. What we're gonna do is your performance checks are actually what we'll do is we'll base them either on your strength or constitution. Okay yep yep that makes sense. You can really strongly play the guitar. That's true. So strongly.
00:13:08
Speaker
I believe that you can in real life and in the game. And I guess in constitution is like how, how like, if you were like playing like the saxophone, you'd have like crazy breath control. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. Cause your, your, your, your suffocation rules are all based around your constitution score. I watched one free diving documentary twice and now I'm a free dive. You watched it twice. It sounded so stressful.
00:13:33
Speaker
You know what, I watched it with a friend and talked over it and that was like a horror movie. Have you heard of The Deepest Breath on Netflix? It's pretty fucking crazy. It's fucking nuts. It's nuts. It's just there's so much like there's so much footage of like just in the deep in the dark.
00:13:50
Speaker
I hate, I hate what I hate the not a fan don't like it. Deep depths of the water background. What am I doing? It's like space is like totally I'm fine with space. The idea of space, but for some reason the deep ocean is terrifying either place, but I like to look at on my TV, deep water. I don't want to go into it. I'm not looking for a specific background or am I just picking? Oh, sorry. Okay. So you're in backgrounds now in backgrounds. What I would suggest is,
00:14:21
Speaker
Uh, because I don't think the, I don't think that your, um, class and or, uh, subclass gives you a performance or it gives you a musical instrument efficiency. What we're going to do is we were going to pick, uh, yeah, either entertainer, far traveler, inheritor, night of the order, outline or urban bounty hunter. Entertainer works for me. Good enough. Why don't we all be entertainers? Yeah, that's probably, that's probably what you can end up.
00:14:48
Speaker
Okay, now the real question, I gotta pick a instrument. So yes, your instruments, don't worry too much about the list of instruments that they give you there, because I think it's all just kind of like the basic medieval instruments. Is there a specific
00:15:04
Speaker
instrument you like, because this is a modern world, you can have electric guitars, you can have all sorts of wonderful stuff. So tubular bells. Like you had mentioned, you had mentioned that you wanted to, I'm percussion. I'm percussion. You're percussing. It's going to, it makes the most sense. Maybe I will, um, do, you can, you can, you can sing and play an instrument. That's true. Why not? I'm going to be a cabordist.
00:15:31
Speaker
You're gonna be a keyboardist. A keyboardist. A keyboardist. What are you doing again, drums? Drums. A keyboardist. Yeah, maybe I'll play like the guitar and sing. Okay. We're like an anime band. You know how like in anime bands they don't have bass guitars? Yeah, I'll play guitar and sing. Okay. We have a MIDI bass player. It's called Easy Bass 2. It's just pre-programmed on your keyboard. How do we make a ska band with those three instruments? We don't have to be a ska band. Shut up. We sound like cake.
00:15:59
Speaker
a ska band. Well then who's the horn? There's still horn there. On my keyboard. You have one of those layered? You should have one of those layered keyboards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like definitely be a new wave band. Oh yeah, for sure, for sure. Post-punk new wave. Ska, ska, we'll pick us up again. Wow, we'd be really uncool in the mid-90s if we were in a new wave. Well, I'm going to pick pant flute. Well, just for this thing. I just need a little pocket instrument.
00:16:28
Speaker
personality traits. Oh, these are just like rando person. Yeah. And yeah, I'm just going to worry about any of the personality traits, stuff, your ideals, bonds, any of that stuff. We'll just, we're just going to kind of jump into role RP. Those are all RP prompts. I'm going to click roll on all of them just for fun. romantic, always searching for that special someone. Yeah.
00:16:49
Speaker
Hey, people, I like seeing the smiles on people's faces when I perform. Bond, my instrument is my most treacherous possession. That one's a pretty good one, actually. And it reminds me of someone I love. Flaw, I have trouble keeping my true feelings. Hidden. Hidden, my sharp tongue lands me in trouble.
00:17:08
Speaker
All right. So is your special someone, your, your guitar? How would you like to choose your equipment? Uh, so just do a standard array. I believe it is starting a classic class equipment, classic equipment. Any martial weapon. Oh boy.
00:17:28
Speaker
Hmm, we're a modern time, but we also would like fight with oh, yeah, absolutely I'm really I'm stealing that I'm stealing this basically all of this I kind of flavor for this world from Brennan Lee Mulligan who dungeon masters the Show dimension 20 on TV. That's good Basically as a whole world fantasy high that said in basically a very you know modern world. It's yeah, I'm just stealing that
00:17:58
Speaker
works works for me okay I'm gonna be a great sword yeah no uh the great swords one you need two hands for right yes yes a long sword I can do one a long sword can be one-handed or two-handed or they are versatile they have a versatile yep yep that's something to go with tag so you can use one or two hands
00:18:21
Speaker
Oh, guys, I need to come up with a halfling name. Finny half barrel. Yeah, I know. Hey, come on now. This is probably going to be the, like, the thing you'll struggle with the most in this character creation. God, I haven't even thought of a name yet. Names. Maybe, yeah, good note for both Rob and Celine here to think of names. Heppy hot stepper. Heppy hop stepper. Hot stepper. Heppy hop stepper. Hot stepper.
00:18:49
Speaker
Hopstopper. Hote. Hote stepper. Everlasting hopstopper. No, maybe not Heppy. Sounds too close like a rabbit from Star Fox. Yeah. I don't like, I do like hot stepper as a last name for a, uh, for a halfling, but I needed like a halfling first name. Do a barrel roll. Remember him? Yeah. You bring him up all the time. He was less annoying than the frog, whatever the frog's name was a little bit of it.
00:19:18
Speaker
That's how he sounds right in the star in the Super Nintendo one and then in 64 when he's full voice acting Full voice. Oh, yes, right. Uh Hoppy or something like that. I feel like it's gotta be something that's bad. Peppy was the rabbit. That's all I remember
00:19:34
Speaker
Griffo. What was that? What was the other sound that was coming out of your mouth? I was going to go with, I thought it said Largo and I thought that'd be a really funny name. Largo is really funny. Largo it is. Largo is great. It actually was Largo, but Largo hot stepper for a halfling is good. Largo. Large. Is there anyone you can think of that was like,
00:20:02
Speaker
Never mind. Courtney Love? No. Get out of here. I'm figuring it out. That was what?
00:20:07
Speaker
I think I've got it. Well, I'm trying to think of a big front woman of a band, like a tall front woman. So then I was thinking like Wendy O. of the Plasmatics. And then I was like, shut the fuck up. Grace Jones. And then I was
Performance and Adventure Kickoff
00:20:21
Speaker
thinking about Megan Thee Stallion. And then I was going back and thinking I should probably keep it to like white. So like maybe some- Zena's good. Yeah, Zena's 90s. What's a name that I can blend like Wendy O. Lawless. Yeah.
00:20:36
Speaker
It's not bad. You didn't like it that much though. Why is this up to me? Why is my opinion matter? I liked it.
00:20:45
Speaker
Uh, yeah, I'm just, uh, filling in the, like, I, I'm, uh, I'm two foot nine. I'm 69 years old. Basically you're, you're kind of like bits and bobs for your level one kind of stuff done there. I'll let you go in and, and kind of finish off your level two and your level three. Cause I know you know what you're doing. Yeah. Yeah. And you're ready to your subclass is going to be the path of the beast when you get around that section. So, uh, we'll move on to, uh, our sorcerer of the group. Nice.
00:21:15
Speaker
That's that's Rob. Yeah. So if you go to the sorcerer character sheet, I have started the character Mancer I'm gonna be an auto gnome. What is an auto gnome? So auto gnomes introduced Spelljammer supplements for fifth edition They became a playable race and they're basically little clockwork gnomes. They're so cool. These little images are so cool. Oh
00:21:41
Speaker
He's a robot. He's a robot. Yeah. Absolutely. Do you remember that Futurama episode where they had like the robots that were like in the trees and stuff? I think so. And then there's the one that has like a little water wheel and she has to keep running back into the water. Yes. Yeah. It's like, it reminds me of that.
00:22:00
Speaker
Okay,
Zombie Encounter and Combat
00:22:01
Speaker
cool, so I'm an auto gnome, and it says ability score plus one, should I skip those? So you'll wanna set those. So for a sorcerer, the main abilities you're gonna want are dexterity and charisma. Dexterity and charisma, I don't want intelligence or wisdom. No, sorcerers are charisma based casters. Okay, so I got dex and charisma. Wizards are intelligence based casters. There we go, okay, and then my alignment.
00:22:27
Speaker
Uh, you don't need to worry about your alignment. It's that's all like a Rasputin source alignment in fifth edition. Doesn't actually have a mechanical function. It, uh, is all role playing. And do I have, do I have language proficiency? Uh, if you want to choose your languages, absolutely. Choose those. I'll speak gnomish. It makes pretty silly little images. Little guys got to be a picture of myself armored, armored casing.
00:22:53
Speaker
It says here that you are encased in thin metal or some other durable metal. That's fun. Your base armor class is 13 plus decks modifier. Yep. So you will start with basically a higher armor class than probably a lot of other sorcerers would. That's cool because I'm a clockwork guy. Yeah, you're made of metal. That's cool.
00:23:13
Speaker
Built for success, you can add a d4 to one attack roll or saving throw you make and you can do so after seeing the d20 roll, but before the effect of the roll takes effect. That's funny, so I'd be like, that sucks, roll a d4. That's fun. Healing machine, ooh. I don't know why I got excited about that. The mending smell is cast on you, you can spend a hit point.
00:23:35
Speaker
or a hit die, roll it, and regain a number of hit points equal to the roll plus your constitution. Normally you would spend hit dice over a short rest, but in this instance you can spend them whenever somebody casts the mending spell on you. So I get like a little bit of a bonus heal. You have resistance to poison and immunity to disease because I am not a human, or what do you call it, a race of sentient creatures. You're not fleshy.
00:24:00
Speaker
centuries rest when you take a long rest you spend at least six hours in an inactive motionless state instead of sleeping you appear okay so this is just like you shut down you go yeah well my clock it's clockwork so it's like the windows 95 log off I love it
00:24:18
Speaker
Specialized design, you need tool proficiencies. Ooh, I like having tool proficiencies. Is it schism? Boogie-doo-doo-doo. Sorry, do you have a drop down? Yeah. So you'll want to pick your tool proficiencies. So I'm going to do Tinkers tools because, you know, gnome, right? Tinking.
00:24:38
Speaker
It'd be cool if there, well, Tinker's tool means I can like tinker with myself and make myself even like more. I mean, any situations. Just tinker in with yourself over there. Nice. Don't come in. I'm tinkering with yourself. Just stop. Alchemy. Doing it. Okay. That's fun. My new persona's like Johnny Knoxville.
00:24:58
Speaker
Like you're going to hate yourself? You're the entire jackass crew personified in this D&D character. OK, so now I click my class, sorcerer. Yes, sorcerer. And where are we? And then I get skill proficiencies. Yes. Which do I know which ones they are, or do I get to pick?
00:25:20
Speaker
You'll you're going to also pick those your skills again think of kind of like your bat the background of your character Or just stuff that you think they would should be skilled in that you would like them to be skilled in okay? Arcana and insight I think that makes the most sense for me for sure and then choose a sorceress origin
00:25:36
Speaker
So your origin is clockwork soul. Yes. Yes. Which means I get to read about this. Uh, you learn additional spells when you reach certain levels in this class has shown in the clockwork spells table. So it was just like specials. You get, so yeah, you have a, basically a special list of spells that you will also have always have access to every, lots of spellcasters have like a standard set of, uh, spells that they have access to based on their origin or their background. So for me, because we'll be level three, I have alarm protection from evil and good.
00:26:05
Speaker
and aid and lesser restoration. Nice. Okay. That's fun. All right. So abilities is next choose ability score method. Your ability scores, you should already have a bonus based on the, uh, abilities that you chose on your back at your race. Uh, but otherwise you're going to want to, yeah, uh, basically prioritize your dexterity and your charisma as a sorcerer, I think.
00:26:28
Speaker
your dexterity is gonna set your armor class, and your charisma is gonna set your spell casting ability. Right, should I go standard or rare, or should I do a roll? Do points by, if you can. Oh, point by. Point by, and then I would maximize your charisma and decks. Well, maximizing them will totally eat up all of your points, but I will let you set them kind of however you would like. The ones you probably need less are strength,
00:26:56
Speaker
And I always, I always pale to advise people to dump constitution as a stat because if you dump constitution as a stat, you will start losing hit points as you gain levels, which is nobody wants that. Okay. So I'm, I just picked 10 for everything and then 15 for decks and charisma.
00:27:17
Speaker
but that seems like pretty top heavy. Yeah, you could probably bring down Charisma a little bit to like a 14, or which, you have a bonus net, so like even a 13 if you get that plus one to get the 14 straight out of plus two for your decks. And then you have some more points to kind of even out your other stuff. Are you drawing your new character? Yeah. Nice. Are you backshying it? Yeah, a little bit.
00:27:47
Speaker
Why not? Then background. Choose a background. Cool. I am. Ooh, look at these choices. Yeah, so your background, again, the ones that have your musical proficiency for yourself are entertainer, far traveler, inheritor. Entertainer. We decided we're all entertainers. Yeah, it's pretty, it's an easy one to pick. And then I'm going to be drums. So drum, that was easy. Drums. Drums. Hey, that's another podcast.
00:28:15
Speaker
Entertainer routine, instrumentalist, personality traits. Oh, these are the ones where you're like, those don't matter. Those are the ones, yeah, those are all role-playing prompts. I'm skipping. What? You can do them. I liked Joey's reading Joey. That's because you could do it over my shoulder. Can I do one? Yeah. Okay, I'm back to background for a second. Just one, one, one, one. At the behest and against my better judgment. I'm doing these, okay. Thank you.
00:28:43
Speaker
Let's see, I'm not a hopeless romantic. You're just hopeless? Yeah. That's not scum, but it's close. Have some whimsy in your heart, damn it. I get bitter if I'm not the center of attention, that sounds good. I love that. Ideal. Wow, this is fun.
00:29:06
Speaker
Just didn't roll. Wow, this is fun. I like seeing the smiles on people's faces when I perform, that's all that matters. Bond, I like the idea that I'm a clockwork gnome that's just obsessed with attention. Yeah, I love that. But also with just putting on a good show and people loving it. I want to be famous, whatever it takes. Here we go, we're doing it. See, you didn't want to do this, so this is very fun. Despite my best efforts, I'm unreliable to my friends.
00:29:33
Speaker
You're just kind of a dick who loves attention. Oh, no, I'll do anything to win fame and renown. That makes more sense. That's good. Okay, there you go. That's your true goal. There we go. It's just fame. Fame more. Fame more, yeah, fame more here. Okay, I'm gonna do, well, like crossbow, I'll have a arcane focus.
00:30:00
Speaker
Yeah. So for spell casting, I'm not going to worry too much about, um, ammo for you guys, as well as in fifth edition, uh, there's basically spell components. And one of the things that the spell component.
00:30:13
Speaker
Gives the rules they give is, uh, anything with a monetary value you need to actually have bought and purchased, but I'm not going to worry about that for you guys. You guys all have the components that you need to cast your spells. We're going to hand wave all that stuff. Cool. I think for these kinds of one shots, it's stupid to track all of that stuff. Totally fair. Now the real fun spells selecting spells.
00:30:37
Speaker
How many spells? So, for your spells, I do have some suggestions. I will take them. For the sake of ease, I'll just roll with your skin. So, cantrips, I have basically a few offensive ones. I would say Firebolt, Shocking Grass, Thunderclap are good choices.
00:30:53
Speaker
OK. So however you kind of want to flavor them, whether it's, you know. Shocking grasp feeling. Yeah, so electricity kind of. Yeah. OK. Yeah, I was trying to have some good one. Then I also have dancing lights, mage hand, mending, and prestidigitation as for other kind of like useful kind of utility cantries. Mending.
00:31:11
Speaker
Mending will allow you to spend hit dice, so that's a good one for you to have. Prestidigitation is a good catch-all for little illusions and little magical effects. You can use that to produce whatever you need to really quickly. And it needs to be just a really small, simple little effect, but it's very versatile.
00:31:30
Speaker
Uh, and then mage hand is obviously also really, really useful one as well too. Cause I'll give you really like limited telekinesis. Right. Oh my God. That's so scary. So I'm not sure how many, uh, and then thunder clap.
00:31:46
Speaker
Halfling. Okay. Shocking grass, mending mage hand and thunderclap. Okay. And then for, I get two level one spells. Yeah. Two level one spells. So for your level ones, I have, um, some suggestions here are absorb elements, which is a reaction spell that allows you to like, basically absorb, uh, anything like fire, cold, actually that sounds an awful lot like me.
00:32:07
Speaker
Uh, there's also, I've got charm person, uh, pretty self-explanatory color spray, which is, uh, like a way to kind of like blind and, and, um, uh, sorry, sorry. And people disguise self a false life, which gives you some template points shield, which is a reaction spell that allows you to up your AC, uh, silent image and thunder wave are kind of like where I would say silent images, obviously illusion spell that allows you to cast silent
00:32:33
Speaker
OK, I'm going to do Thunder Wave, just to keep with the theme of my being kind of... For sure. Thunder Wave is like an offensive one that does thunder damage and pushes people away from you. Cool. And absorb elements, because I like the sound of that. OK. And then cool. Now it says... You'll pick more spells as you go. As you get to third level, you'll have a bunch more spells. And feats. I don't have any feats.
00:32:55
Speaker
Okay, character name. Yeah, so your bio and you can fill all that out and as you're filling all that out, maybe we can... My name is... What's your name? My name is Why They. Who? Why They? Yeah. Why They? Clucksard. Why They Clucksard. Did you just put in an automatic like thing?
00:33:18
Speaker
No, it's, why do they rock so hard when I made it a clock thing? Why they clock sard? That's funny. Why they clock sard? Clock sward? Clock sard. Clock sard. Clock sard. Why they clock sard? Why they clock sard? So hard, clock clock sard. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes. You don't just guess, you know.
00:33:37
Speaker
Yeah. Why are they clocks hard? Why are they clocks hard? That's me. That's funny. I'm still thinking of mine. I'm sorry. That's what I was doing. I thought I saw that. That's why it changes. Okay. Character built. All right. So I'm just going through this stuff. Do you want to start with Celine while I go through this? And let's see how let's get going on Celine. Okay. So.
00:33:56
Speaker
If you would like to open the Bard character sheet. So I am going to be a Goliath. I'm gonna be a Goliath. Yeah, just turn it on. And that'll allow you to pick ability scores at the very bottom of the thing. So when you get down to the bottom, for Bard, you are gonna want to probably prioritize. Charisma. For Bards. Bards are one of those weird ones, because they have like.
00:34:25
Speaker
Well they can be Rogi, they can also be Cleric-y, they can also be like Intelligence-y, like Wizard-y. You could do like Charisma, well your magic is Charisma. I would probably go Dex and Charisma. That's a good basic one to pick for bars. Especially for the type of play that you usually do. Me too.
00:34:46
Speaker
and my alignment. I don't know. So yeah, you're, you're, you're, you're higher, you're higher bonus. You'll probably want to pick as your, as your charisma. Like if we're all like chaotic, good to kind of make sense. Yeah. I mean, you guys usually, if, if nothing else, I usually say you guys are true neutral because that's the easiest way to go. Yeah. Yeah. I feel, I feel true neutral, true nooch.
00:35:06
Speaker
true nooch um i'm not a humanoid am i yeah i guess i am medium i thought i was a goliath medium size you're medium size but you're like at the upper echelon of the medium size you're like you're eight feet tall basically
00:35:23
Speaker
Okay, so proficiency and athletic skill. That's kind of fun. You can speak, read, and write common and giant. Common and giant. Stones endurance. You can focus yourself to occasionally shrug off injury. That's fun. When you take damage, you can use your reaction to roll a d12.
00:35:40
Speaker
Powerful builds you count as one size larger when determining your carrying capacity and the weight you can push drag or lift Mountain-born you have resistance to cold damage. You're also acclimated to high altitude including elevations above 20,000 feet That's pretty fun Is she gonna be picking her school right away here? Whatever? I think so. I don't I think it comes her school. She chooses her school at about third level
00:36:07
Speaker
Do you want efficiencies? Unless it's like this or do we all have to kind of be college? I guess performance should be one. Probably. Yeah.
00:36:19
Speaker
I would absolutely recommend that. Promises one of your skills. Insight for what? See if people are doing what you think they're doing. Nah, I'm going to steal stuff from this light of hand. Insight is reading people and understanding. Maybe lying. Lying's fun. Lying's fun. Or stealth.
00:36:42
Speaker
Yeah, stealth. So you want to be sneaky? You're just doing a sneaky part. I'm going to be a sneaky giant. A sneaky giant is very funny. Sneaky giant board. It's happening. Stealth it is. Yeah. What's, what did you want to do? Are you just singing or did you want to? I'd like to sing and play the guitar. Okay. So guitar.
00:37:02
Speaker
Is it an acoustic guitar and an electric guitar? I'd prefer it to be electric. Yeah. Yeah. Come on now. It says I can have three. Yeah. Just pick a couple. I guess I'll do a horn. Sure. Yeah. You're a multi instrumentalist. That's really fun. Like on stage. Me too. What? So what do you play? I play keyboard, but I also have a pan flute and I think I can, I grabbed something else as well because it gave me the option. So I'm, I'm, I'm up to a level. It's a little, it's like a little harp kind of.
00:37:31
Speaker
I'm really like can't get it out of my head that we're a ska band. Handrum or um liar. Handrum's kind of like a like a like a cowbell. That was one other thing that you guys are gonna pick as well too in the session zero is your band name. It won't come up in the encounter but it will come up early in the adventure so that's also something that you guys should probably start thinking about.
00:37:55
Speaker
okay uh so what are the so uh in your point by you're going to want to emphasize your charisma and your dex so so your charisma and dexterity you probably want to max 27 total you want to you want to get them up there 15 no you don't i wouldn't i wouldn't max out both uh i would probably i would probably well charisma is your magic so
00:38:15
Speaker
Well, you see, you can pull back a little bit on charisma if you want, because you have probably a plus two bonus from your custom origin. Right. So keep that in mind. If you, uh, set it to 14, you'll get that old, your plus two will get it to 16, which is still a plus three. I don't want to have like, no. And I'm supposed to, I don't want, you know, I want to be like a balanced woman. Okay.
00:38:35
Speaker
The other thing is you can probably pull a little bag on decks as well too because you don't need a full probably bonus on your decks. I was a barbarian so I was just like strong and dumb easy. There were nothing in the middle. Choose a background. Gladiator. No, entertainer. We're all entertainers. We're all entertainers. Gladiator.
00:39:01
Speaker
Now you want to be an iconoclastic, break away from everybody. What do you mean now? The other, there are other backgrounds that give you, uh, forever. I'm merely a facilitator. I am the dungeon master. I'm merely a facilitator. What's a long horn. A long horn. It's like a trombone. Oh, like an Alpine horn. What's a Zolcun?
00:39:29
Speaker
That's a good question, I don't know. What's a war gong? Zolcun is a wind musical instrument that functioned like a portable pump organ according to the Forgotten Realms wiki. It's like, it's Forgotten Realms bagpipes. That's fun. Are we gonna just throw like Forgotten Realms stuff into this universe then? It's not, this is its own world, but I mean,
00:39:57
Speaker
It takes place in a modern version of water deep. Yeah. I'm not sure. In terms of like monsters specific to the world. There might be some, might be something that will come up, but watch out for Artemis and Terry. What's another for not realms characters. I won't be, I won't be mentioning elements or anything like that. Well, yeah, there's drifts, obviously, but are you guys seeing what I'm doing? No, should I? Yeah. Read them out for nothing less than perfection.
00:40:26
Speaker
Okay, and then my next one. I love a good insult, even one directed at me. Oh, okay. Oh, I didn't roll mine. Is that how those ended up on yours? Yeah. Oh, okay. I just like picked them and they didn't do anything with them. They're rolling. It looks like they're rolling for there. Yeah, I just rolled. It was quicker for me. Honesty for me. Art should reflect the soul. It should come from within and reveal who we really are.
00:40:52
Speaker
Whoa. Deep man. Yeah. You're such a like, why aren't you the, the, what'd you call it? Fame hog? What'd you call me? No, I'm a fame whore. What'd you call me? What'd you call me? What was that insult? They're a hated rival. I want that.
00:41:06
Speaker
Who's your hated rival, Joey? Oh, I don't have one. Sure, there we go. I want satirized noble ones who don't. Yeah, this is starting to feel like Elvira, but like a large bard instead. Do like actually shut the fuck up. Like actually? Yeah, like actually, if you can actually shut the fuck up, just talk to the ones in your fucking life. Hey, how come I look like Joey? It's only half a deer.
00:41:36
Speaker
Yeah, that's just Joey twice. Joey twice. Did you mean to do that? I haven't done anything. I didn't do that. Why is Joey there twice? I don't know. I don't know what happened there. What if it became Joey twice? Yeah. How would you like to choose your equipment? Class equipment or starting wealth?
00:41:56
Speaker
So class equipment, go class equipment, and then you'll be able to select your, um, equipment from those dropdown lists. What do you think I should have for, um, what did Zena have a sword? What chakras? Like ring, like sharp rings. Is that okay? Can we do that? That's all right. I guess long or great club.
00:42:22
Speaker
Um, she had a sword and she had like a big sword that she would do a long sword. Okay. Spells. You had spells. Okay. I've got spells. I have suggestions. Uh, okay. Bard cantrip. Uh, how many cantrips do you get? You get two. Two. Okay. So the ones I have listed here, probably for bars, I've got Prestidigitation, Mage Hand and Vicious Mockery are kind of like pretty good standard ones to pick. I liked Mage Hand a lot that one time I used it.
00:42:48
Speaker
Mage Hand is pretty handy. I also suggest Prestidigitation because it gives you, okay, so here's the choices. Prestidigitation is like a utility spell. It gives you lots of different things that you can do with it. Lots of small, little magical effects, but it's not, it doesn't do any damage. Vicious Mockery is a cantrip that actually does damage, and I believe it also stuns. And basically it's like, you know, you just sling an insult at somebody and they're like, ugh. I like that. I'm gonna do Mage Hand and Vicious Mockery.
00:43:16
Speaker
Or do you think I should do? So they, they, they have, uh, they must succeed on a wisdom saving throw or take one D four psychic damage. I'm disadvantaged on the next attack role they make is vicious mockery. Do you think I should do made hand and vicious mockery or, uh, no, I think presentation and vicious mockery is better. Yeah. Cause you have slight of hand, right? So if you really want to steal something, you can get in there.
00:43:37
Speaker
Okay. Bard level one. Uh, this is talking about like detect. Okay. So do you, you have your level one spells as well too that you need to pick, right? So cause this says like, Oh yeah, it just says like cure wounds, detect magic disguise. So those are your standard ones that you probably got. Um,
00:43:55
Speaker
Is there anything that you want you to do specifically? Like, are there any abilities that you want as a bard? I might hear wounds. I'm always scared. You want, well, I will say, so you're the one person in the group that has access to healing magic. So keep that in mind. And then you're also, you want to be kind of sneaky, sneaky. Um, probably disguise self. I would say probably be a good one to pick then.
00:44:22
Speaker
uh bane's person i like true yeah bane and charm bane is is you uh enemies have a minus to their attack rolls and saving throws your wounds disguise self charm person bane yeah uh i've just i'm just gonna go through the shadows charm person yeah charm person uh is pretty obvious what it does detect magic allows you to you know obviously be like a little bit of a metal detector for magic
00:44:46
Speaker
Uh, healing word allows you to heal people from a distance as a bonus action. That's actually a very handy spell. I would almost suggest that you swap out, um, yeah. Cure wounds for healing word because in this adventure, I don't think there's going to be a lot of situations where you're going to be hard pressed to do like a ton of healing. I'm going to give you guys all a healing potion to begin with. Okay.
00:45:08
Speaker
and healing word will allow you to bring somebody back up from a distance like if they're if they drop you can like beautiful from like 60 feet away be like pew and and heal them back up so okay don't want to like worry about filling all that stuff in right now you don't have to worry about it because I think you know if you're hard-pressed you can pick a hair color and an eye color and stuff like that
00:45:28
Speaker
Okay. Well, I need to, I need to, I need to blend Zena with a front woman of a band. So I need your help. Wait, wait, let's, let's do this. We need to name Celine's character. Front Woman 90s. Cause that's what we're kind of looking for, right? Yep. Well, Zena Stefani. Zena Stefani is pretty good. I like Zena Stefani. Pretty good. Let's not get too complicated. Zena Stefani is pretty good.
00:45:53
Speaker
Okay, this is the suggestions that Google gave me. It was Juliana Hatfield, Liz Fair, Sinead O'Connor, Nene Cherry, Alanis Morissette. I mean, Scott Alanis Morissette's not bad. But that's already taken. It's already taken.
00:46:08
Speaker
How tall can I be? Annie DeFranco. You'd be like almost eight feet tall, like seven foot something. Goliaths, yeah, they're average like seven to eight feet tall. I would say you're somewhere in there. Like seven, 10, seven, 11, something. PJ Harvey. Seven, 11. Seven, 11 it is. Look at yourself, a taquito. But I'm like a hundred pounds, I'm just kidding. You're a hundred pounds, dude. Just a stick. Black or blonde, black or blonde, black or blonde. Xenari or Gweny, that's tough.
00:46:37
Speaker
That's tough. She's half black, half blonde. Oh snap. Split dye. Good call. Good call. Split dye. Black and blonde. Black and blonde. Black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black-eyed, black
00:47:04
Speaker
Your name is Zina Stefani, your age is 40, your height is 711, your weight is 220, your eye color is blue, your hair is split black and blonde, your skin is white. Your only choice left is to press on or turn back. If you're editing an existing character all your existing data will be lost in the void. Apply changes. Wow, it's building. I haven't done, wow, I have a character sheet. Okay, so,
00:47:33
Speaker
We have basically your basic characters built at this point. What we're going to do is we are going your magic items. So we have magic items that need to assign. Would you guys like to roll randomly for magic item?
00:47:50
Speaker
I do. Yes. Yes. That's exactly what I want to do. Okay. We'll roll random. All of you can roll through. We'll three, we'll roll three times. We'll get the items. And then if you need to, you can redistribute, uh, uh, them amongst yourselves. Uh, so, uh, Joey, if you would like, uh, please give me a D eight roll. D eight. Here we go. I got, can't see it six. So you got an instrument of scribing and instrument of scribing. I'm going to share this.
00:48:20
Speaker
to everybody. So it should have just popped up there is a wondrous item. This musical instrument has three charges while you're playing it. You can use an action to expend one charge from the instrument and write a magical message on a non-magical object or surface that you can see within 30 feet of view. The message can be up to six words long and it's written in a language you know.
00:48:40
Speaker
If you're a bard, you can scribe an additional 7th word and choose to make the message glow faintly, allowing it to be seen in non-magical darkness. Casting to spell magic on this message erases it, otherwise the message fades away after 24 hours. That's pretty cool.
00:48:56
Speaker
and all expanded charges at dawn, so obviously good for Bard to have that one, because it gives you some extra utility with it. Celine, please give me a D8. I'll roll my dice. Yes, please give me a roll. Seven. Okay, you rolled a metal of muscle. Metal?
00:49:19
Speaker
So. Oh, different metal. You can squeeze this metal tightly in the palm of your hand as an action. Doing so gives you an advantage on strength checks and strength saving throws for one hour. Once this property has been used, it can't be used again and the metal becomes non-magical. It sounds like a very joey thing. Squeeze metals in here? Yeah.
00:49:40
Speaker
Yeah, that seems like a pretty barbarian barbarian type deal. Yeah. Or I can just roll here. I guess it doesn't matter. Okay. Slung got three. Got a three. Okay. You got hat of vermin. Hat of vermin. Oh my God. I want it. Rat hat. I want the rat hat.
00:50:01
Speaker
Is it a Ratatouille situation? This hat has three charges. While holding the hat, you can use an action to expend one of its charges and speak a command word that summons your choice of a bat, a frog, or a rat. The summoned creature magically appears in the hat and tries to get away from you as quickly as possible. This creature is nearly friendly nor hostile and it isn't under your control. It behaves as an ordinary creature of its kind and disappears after one hour or when the hat regains. All expended charges at dawn. Yeah, I want that. It's stupid, but I want it.
00:50:29
Speaker
It is dumb. I mean, I think I have to take the bard thing, because it's for bards. So, Celine, we'll get the instrument of scribing. I mean, I love the rat hat. I love the rat hat the most. The medal of medal will be Joey, and I'll have the rat hat as a clockwork gnome.
00:50:45
Speaker
All right, and I will take the, what was it called? Metal of Muscle. Metal of Muscle. Okay, so we picked your magic items. Now, band assets. We have a jam space, band van, and performance equipment. Who has what? Oh, these are things that we own? Yeah, these are things that you guys own. So somebody is gonna be in charge of the jam space, somebody's gonna be in charge of the band van, and somebody's gonna be in charge of the performance equipment. Well, Joey, band van? I mean...
00:51:14
Speaker
And I have lots of experience, so sure. OK. Rob, do you have a preference? What would I have? What do you think I would have? Probably a jam space. I probably have the jam space. He's got a guy, yeah. Yeah, it's in my workshop. Yeah. Yeah, OK. And then I'll have the performance equipment. So kind of like a lot of the PA stuff. Yeah, I guess so. Well, you're a multi-instrumentalist, so that makes a lot of sense, yeah. Makes a lot of sense. And so I will let you guys flavor those however you want. I don't know if you have an idea of what the jam space, you guys' jam space looks like. Rob.
00:51:43
Speaker
Yeah, it's inside my workshop in the clock tower. I'm a steampunk character, yeah. Van is a big checkered van. Big checkered van. It's like the mystery machine, but it's checkered. Is it off the wall?
00:52:02
Speaker
It is indeed off the wall. It just says van off the wall. That's funny. That is really funny. Paint the van. Paint the van. Off the wall.
00:52:16
Speaker
All right. Uh, uh, so when we, I'm just going to wait for Joey to get a, uh, a token set up here. Well, actually in the meantime, what we're going to do is we're going to get an NPC. We're going to build an NPC. Let's build that NPC. Okay. So this is the celebrity that exists in the world that you guys are going to go see during the adventure. Uh, so what I would like are some roles and this is going to give us a base, uh, kind of like characteristics for this NPC. And then you can kind of flush them out afterwards.
00:52:46
Speaker
All right, I'm excited to do some rolls. So whoever wants to, please give me a D10 roll. On it.
00:52:54
Speaker
Do you have it? Joey, you focus. Five. So number five, we've got a name. This is going to name our adventure or our celebrity. Their name is Loon. Loon. Like Luna or like Loon like the bird. L-O-O-N, but it can be Luna. Do you want it to be Luna? No, I like Loon like it's the bird. That's fun. For sure. Okay. Loon. Okay. We're going to do their instrument next. Please give me another D10. Do you want to do that one, Selene?
00:53:22
Speaker
You did it already. She got a 10. A 10. That is going to be a theremin. Ooh. That's what it sounds like, yeah. Ooh. Sick. OK. So we have Loon the theremin player. Next, we are going to do kind of a basic description of this person. Another D10 roll, please.
00:53:51
Speaker
I got it. Two. Two. Those. One of my favorite Chris. Always in a cloud of perfume wearing a well-loved overcoat. Always. Just like this perfumey overcoat lady just cycling the theremin. I mean is it me? Ew.
00:54:10
Speaker
Next, the race of this person. So another D10 roll, please. Hey. Okay. This one's got this one. This one rolled a four. Polynesian. A half-orc. Nice. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. I can see why you're into this, yeah.
00:54:29
Speaker
So we've got a half-orc, a person named Loon who plays the theremin. And lastly, this is, you guys aren't going to know the contents of this roll, but I need another D10 roll. Six. Six. Okay. And that's just, these are going to be personal possessions. Okay. Okay.
00:54:55
Speaker
Keelan, I'm gonna send Celine's picture to you just so you can pop them in there. It'll be quicker than me reaching across and doing it on hers. Okay, sounds good. So is there a type of music? Is there a certain kind of performance? Is there a genre that this person fits into? I do love that we're like a new wave band, like what Joey was saying. Like I do think it's funny.
00:55:22
Speaker
In the summer of Ska, we're just really trying to make it. It's very funny. So is this celebrity also a new wavy kind of person? No, the celebrity is a spooky Ska person. Spooky Ska? Oh, yeah. OK. I get it. Yeah, they're like a Jerry Dammers. And we're trying to do something different, because Ska is too cool. Yeah. It's the big thing, and we're trying not to be sell-outs. So we're trying to be popular. Even though we're in the checkered van. Yeah.
00:55:50
Speaker
We got it from a Scott band. We're Scott Jason. We're Scott Jason. Sad emails. OK, yeah. So basically, this person is going to be touring, and that's going to be the show that you guys are going to right at the beginning of the adventure. I love this. Let me start. It's like, get them to the Greek.
00:56:06
Speaker
There's yes, actually, there's there's elements of that crossover crossover. So what we're going to do is we're going to start with an encounter. You guys are in your jam space and are at the outro of a song just having finished, you know, kind of laying down some tunes. You guys are kind of getting a feel for each other, having been jamming for a few weeks at this point, probably. Yeah.
00:56:31
Speaker
You guys are adventurers. That's how you make your living is by adventuring, but you guys have also bonded over music. And so you guys have decided to, you know, really, really go at, get, get at this. And, and, and you're in, uh, currently in, in the jam space, the clockwork jam space. Yeah. So let's get performance checks rolled.
00:56:53
Speaker
We got 13 for Largo. For White Day, we had a five was your first rule. That's. Well, no, that was a strength check. Ignore that. Oh, sorry. It's 15. 15, so 15, yeah. OK, so 15. And then Zena got a 10. So when you guys are, this is what is going to be considered a group check. And when you guys are making group checks, I will use the median number of those checks. So in this instance, it is a 10, yes. Cool.
00:57:21
Speaker
So with a 10, uh, that is, I mean, you guys are coming on the outro of this song. You guys have only been playing together for a few weeks, so it's not a hundred percent there yet, but, uh, it's all right. I mean, you guys are okay. Yeah, it's, it sounds all right. It's, it's, it was a pretty good, pretty good jam session either way. Even if, uh, you guys had a few flubs here and there.
00:57:45
Speaker
I mean, it sounds like me playing some music. So with the three of you having been playing music together for a bunch of weeks, you've even been mulling around maybe the name of a band. Is there a specific band name that you guys? Oh, boy. Oh, OK. Wait, I wasn't even thinking about that. Yeah, we've been doing so much stuff. I did say think about a band name. But it were like a 90s New Wave band.
00:58:13
Speaker
90s new wave when new wave was dead long dead Hadn't gone through the resurgence of new wave yet. I I feel like it's got to be like a riff on like clockwork norm Norm's There's something that I'm the only clockwork individual. It's true. Well, okay, this is slit What do you think your band name should be Selene? Yeah
00:58:41
Speaker
That sounds cool Three orcs down three orcs down three orcs down three orcs down Okay, so
00:59:08
Speaker
You guys made a group performance check. Joey made your role for you. So yes. Uh, uh, and have been mulling around the, uh, maybe naming the band, uh, three orcs down is a, is one that has come up. That's come up. Pretty sick name. Uh, what I would like everybody to do now is to roll a perception check, please. Okay. Uh, and that's the same deal. Just perception that same spot. Yep.
00:59:35
Speaker
Oh, nice. That is a natural 20 for Zena. 17 for Largo.
00:59:42
Speaker
and 15 for wide day. Everybody is able to hear something approaching the door of the jam space. It's kind of like a weird scraping sound. And as you guys are kind of like finishing up this jam session, yeah, it's very notable sounds of steps or of like a foot dragging.
01:00:12
Speaker
And a short time later, a banging on your guys' door of your jam space. Who is it? Followed by groaning. And more banging. What would you guys like to do? Did you pay the rent on this place? Are you just using your savings? I own it. I own this place. I collapsed my drum kit because it's attached to me.
01:00:38
Speaker
I will go check it. I go and answer the door because it's my space. Like other people don't answer the door for me. So as you open the door, uh, you are met with a zombie who comes lunging in towards you. I would like everybody to initiative.
01:01:03
Speaker
Uh, so what we're going to do is we're going to get this in order here and we're going to start with large Joe. Um, you see, uh, basically why they go to the door, open it up and this zombie just comes lunging in towards him. Uh, I jump out from behind my keyboards and I whip out my long sword and I'm going to attack him with my long sword. So you go dashing in. Jump out from behind my thing and
01:01:31
Speaker
That is a hit. Hell yeah! That was an 11. And a 12 damage. 12 damage, wow. That is actually quite a bit.
01:01:42
Speaker
So you come lunging in, uh, as, uh, uh, why they kind of like steps to the side, tiny little, uh, large joke comes lunging with his sword and the eyes go right up through the zombie's chest and I was back and he just looks down and he goes to slam you. Uh, but before he can, it is, uh, Zena's turn.
01:02:05
Speaker
Can I just try to hit him? Sure can. You can. Can I try to hit him with my longsword? Yep. So you take a swing with your longsword. That is a miss, unfortunately. A six is a miss. As you swing wide, the zombie kind of like stumbles backwards. I try. Is slow witted. He's slow witted, but he was able to see it coming in as Xena takes position to attack. So with that, we are going to move on to wide they.
01:02:31
Speaker
Well, I'm going to cast a spell since that's what's going to happen. I'm going to do a shocking grasp since he's right next to me. Yeah, for sure. So I'm going to shock him. Is that your voice? Yes, I am a robot. Bye, babe. Bye, babe. So 17 is a hit.
01:02:50
Speaker
Cool, and then what do I do? You click where it says purple shocking grasp. So you can click right where it says shocking grasp, and then it'll roll the damage for you. Two. Two points of damage. You reach out and kind of grab onto Largo's sword, and it sort of just threw his body. But it kind of like absorbs a lot of this shock. It seems to have been absorbed by the sword sticking out of his chest mostly. All right. But yeah, it wasn't a lot of damage, unfortunately.
01:03:19
Speaker
It's okay. I'm okay with it. With that, the zombie is going to take a swing at Largo. Because I got him.
01:03:32
Speaker
Uh, I rolled a natural one. Oh, not one. Not one. Nice. Take that to me. Nothing. Oh no, no, no, no. Sorry. I yeah. As well, I rolled a natural one. Sorry. Okay. So he critically misses as he goes to swing out at you. Uh, it kind of stumbles forward and is now kind of like a little bit more in the, in, in the, uh, jam space with the three of you surrounding him. And he's just kind of like, and so we were going to go back to Largo. Ah,
01:04:02
Speaker
And I'm going to grab my sword with my other hand and swing at him with both hands. But what a big old miss with a seven. Seven is a miss. It is a miss just barely, but you swing, uh, you pull out your sword and would it take a second swing? And he's kind of like stumbling around between three of you and you're like kind of like almost going to hit a wide day. So you kind of like pull your swing a little bit and it goes wide. Uh, Zena missed him.
01:04:30
Speaker
and just try to hit him again, I guess, right? Go for it. Go for it. Sorry about your zombie gonna hit you with my long sword. 22, 22 is it. The zombie is still up. Oh no. Oh boy. As you slice in with your long sword as well, Xena, and you just kind of.
01:04:52
Speaker
Why'd they? All right, I'm going to cast Protection from Evil on that guy. Me? On Largo, yes. On Largo. OK. Largo.
01:05:05
Speaker
You now, I believe, are protected from undead. So if he attacks you, he will have disadvantage. Sweet. I believe it's how that guy works, right? Yeah. I like it. Correct. OK. So now that we get back around to the zombie, he is going to take a slam attack against Largo. And he's going to do that with disadvantage. Yep. So he's going to take the lower of the two rolls. All right. So that's a miss. That is a miss as he swings out.
01:05:34
Speaker
We are gonna get back around to Largo. I'm gonna two-hand him again. I can't believe I missed last time. Here we go. That hits. Mine just barely hits.
01:05:46
Speaker
And he goes down, but as a zombie, he needs to make a constitution saving throw with a DC of five plus the damage taken. So that was 13 as a DC of 18.
01:06:06
Speaker
Can he do it? He rolled an 18 as you and he falls down. He kind of starts to stand back up. Zena. Can I really like aim for his head, like through his head? Uh, so, uh, called shots are not really a thing in fifth edition. Unfortunately, uh, it's always assumed that you're attacking the most vital parts.
01:06:29
Speaker
I'd like to go with an attack roll. You just need to make an attack roll. What you do is you make the attack roll, and then if it's good, you describe how it happens. Yeah, if it's really, really good, then you can be right. Five is a miss, unfortunately. You guys are just, like, whipping as the zombie is, like, being bounced, like, pinballed between all of you. I can't banish it, so that's going to be a problem. Why'd they? Yeah, let me see what I can do. What other crazy things can I do?
01:07:08
Speaker
i mean thunder wave would be fun but i feel like you all would get hit by that and i don't know if i want to do that
01:07:16
Speaker
You can just give him a little stab. You can just give him a little poke with a dagger or something if you go. I could. Or I could. And I'm just doing what my guy would do. Cat trips as well, too. Yeah, I'll shock and grasp again. Yeah, go for it. 17. All right, I'm going to grab him. 4. So he's got to make another constitution saving throw. But it's just 9, right? Yeah, it's a DC of 9. He rolled a 14 total. Oh, no. So I zapped him, but he came back.
01:07:47
Speaker
Okay, zombie, man, this guy has proven to be a bit of a thorn in your side as he goes. He's gonna spin and actually I'm gonna have him go randomly here on the three of you. Let's go. Nope, he spins back around to Largo. That is a 12 to hit. That is a miss.
01:08:13
Speaker
Okay. I have protected you from evil. Back to me. We're going two hands again. Yes, son of a bitch with an 18 and 12. 17, a DC 17. Come on, roll low, you stupid zombo. A total of 21. God damn it. Why is he rolling so high? Why they roll so high? Yeah, that's what I want to know. Why do they roll so high? Why do they roll so high? Zena, see if you can down this zombie. I'm going to try and hit him with my box.
01:08:42
Speaker
Two-handed longsword. That hits. Good. Now click on longsword two-handed and get that damage. So will it work if I click it from here? 11. Nice. So he has to roll a 16 or higher. There's a failure. Zena comes down. Finally, after bouncing this zombie around between all of you, come down and it falls lifeless.
01:09:12
Speaker
As you guys sit there kind of wondering what the heck just happened, the zombie. Why it just happened. Why was there a zombie at the door? You hear footsteps coming up to the door into the doorway appears a female elven woman. She's kind of like dressed very gothy. And she's one of our fans. Yeah. She looks in. She's like, oh my goodness.
01:09:36
Speaker
I'm so sorry. He got off his leash. I was walking him and he must've been attracted to the sound. I'm so sorry. Well, I don't want a kink shame, but you got to get your pup on a leash. Also, like that makes sense. We're a new wave band. Yeah.
01:09:53
Speaker
We're pros. That's our target audience. Yeah. And you can tell, uh, this, this woman, uh, maybe you've seen her around, uh, the, the neighborhood. Uh, this is flow. She's a necromancer. Uh, and she basically was walking her local necromancer walking. She was out walking her zombie when he got off his leash. So, um, sorry, sorry. We had to really slice them up with these giant swords we carry around. She's like, no, I'm sorry. It's just, he shouldn't, you know, be getting off his leash like that. It's just dangerous. So.
01:10:23
Speaker
They know not what they do zombies Well, yeah, I'll take him and we can get out of here. We'll get out of your hair Come on pongo and she like points her finger down and the zombie magic this two-toned kind of magic comes spinning out from her from her finger and goes spinning around the zombies head and kind of like in his face and it was
01:10:44
Speaker
nose nostrils, and he kinda like, the eyes open back up and he gets back up and starts to follow her. Whoa, she really picked him up. You can tell she cast Anime Dead and reanimated him and she leaves and sorry, and she leaves and Pongo comes stumbling after her.
Post-battle Plans and Reflections
01:11:04
Speaker
Whoa. Come to our show. I gotta work on my voice. What does Gwen, how does she sound?
01:11:10
Speaker
B-A-N-A-N-E-S. She says stuff like that. Like the shit is bananas? The shit is bananas. I don't want to be blasted. Yeah. So here we go. Basically, you guys realize that you got a show that you guys got to go to. Oh my god, we got to go to a show. Loon is going to be playing right away. Oh yeah. You guys want to go see Loon. We love Loon. I love Loon. We love Loon. Yeah, so you guys are going to head to a venue called Hooligans.
01:11:39
Speaker
Oh, we're going to hooligan to my favorite button dive bar. There's too many boot boys there. Yeah. To go catch a show. So, uh, with that, we, uh, if you guys took any damage, I don't think anybody took any damage. Also, if there's any abilities that you guys have that refresh on a short rest, you guys can take a short rest. Sure. Um, other than that, we will take a break here and we will come back to start the adventure proper after our break.
Conclusion and Social Media Shoutouts
01:12:04
Speaker
Thanks for listening to Checkered Past. Hit us up on Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and TikTok at checkeredpastpod. Send us an email at checkeredpastpod at gmail.com. To support the pod and get bonus content, including a full length and unedited audio of this episode, sign up for the Checkered Head Patreon at patreon.com slash checkeredpast. We also have some yum yum Morska merch available at checkeredpast.ca. Checkered Past is edited by Cutman and engineered by Joey. Our Ska associate producer is Chris Reeves and a special thanks to our dungeon master, Keelan,
01:12:34
Speaker
who also did the theme song for today's episode. We will be performing at SPI Fest 2 in Connecticut, May 17th and 18th. Single-day tickets are available at spifest.org. And until next time, I'm Rob. I'm Joey. And in the immortal words of, oh, I got nothing for this. In the immortal words of, uh, why they, what's it care? What words of Gary Gygax? A natural 20.