Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Punam Saxena says parents are advocates for their children
59 Plays8 months ago
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Welcome
00:00:01
Speaker
Welcome to the Learner Centered Spaces Podcast, where we empower and inspire ownership of learning, sponsored by Mastery Portfolio, hosted by Star Saxton and Crystal Frommer. In each episode, we will bring you engaging conversations with a wide variety of educators, both in and out of the classroom.
00:00:21
Speaker
This podcast is created for educators who want to learn more about how to make the shift toward learner-centered spaces for their students, schools, and districts, or education at large. The learner-centered spaces podcast is now a member of the Teach Better Podcast Network.
00:00:41
Speaker
We are so excited to have Poonam Saxena today on our show. She is a parent impact coach and she is passionate about helping parents become engaged in their child's education.
Meet Poonam Saxena
00:00:54
Speaker
Through her own experience as a child of immigrants from India and raising her four children, she found that parents are partners with teachers and administrators, often have children who are more confident and better equipped for the challenges of school and life.
00:01:11
Speaker
With 30 years of experience and teaching and advocacy, she has been involved in systemic changes at the school and district levels. She is the author of two books, Parent Power, Navigate School and Beyond, which normalizes the daily activities of parenthood, and I will add, I have read it and I love it, and Powerful Parenting, 100 in Ways to Stay Positive, Parent Affirmation Journal, also worth picking up for any parent or caregiver.
00:01:41
Speaker
Poonam is also a TEDx and South by Southwest speaker on the importance of parent engagement in schools. Additionally, she has spoken at several conferences featured in Shoutout Atlanta, Global Fluency, and Women Who podcast magazines, and was a guest on NBC's Atlanta & Company, CBS, and Fox.
00:02:05
Speaker
For fun, she likes to run, cook, read, travel, and spending time with her family. Poonam has been married for 32 years, and she is also bilingual. We are so excited to have you today. Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm so excited for this conversation.
00:02:24
Speaker
So am I. It's so rare that you connect with somebody online and then you actually get to meet them in person. And then when they, when you meet them in person, they're even cooler than you thought they were going to be. And our guests today, Poonam and I did have the opportunity to meet in person. So this is an extra special one for me today.
Poonam's Cultural Journey
00:02:47
Speaker
So Poonam, what got you started on, on your current journey?
00:02:54
Speaker
For a long time, I wondered why I was different. I didn't feel different. I knew I looked different. But I always tried to figure out what was unique about me. And of course, when you're a kid, you really don't use the word unique. But as I reflected on my journey as a child, young adult, and then when I was a parent, when I became a parent, I'm still a parent,
00:03:24
Speaker
I realized that the change that was occurring in my life was the fact that we were navigating the American education system and American life for the very first time. It was completely throw us into the wild and see how we're going to land. So I grew up in rural Georgia in the 1970s and you two are babies.
00:03:53
Speaker
So I will just say I'm older than both of you. However, in the 1970s in my town, we were the only Indians there. And in fact, they actually thought we were Native Americans. So there was always this
00:04:13
Speaker
certainty as to who we were as people. And that manifested its way through our social life and our academic life. So when I started having children, I realized the missing piece, at least in my education, was the fact that my parents didn't understand how this system works.
00:04:40
Speaker
And so as hard as we all tried, we were falling through the cracks. So my mission is that I don't want any other child to feel like I did. And by empowering parents, we can make sure that that child feels supported through their academic career. Wow. I mean,
00:05:10
Speaker
I think your story is surprising and for those of you who don't know Poonam, no matter how old she says she is, she does not look it, not even a little. Not even a little.
00:05:23
Speaker
But when you told that to me the first time I met you, I was so surprised and sad that where you grew up, folks couldn't recognize that other feeling as something positive, that you had a unique perspective that could bring something different.
00:05:45
Speaker
So I'm glad that you have this opportunity now to advocate for others and give them more opportunities to help their children in a way that maybe you didn't have when you were growing up.
Parental Engagement in Education
00:06:01
Speaker
It's really important for children, and it doesn't matter where that child is coming from, what home, what ethnicity,
00:06:12
Speaker
Every child should feel like they belong in school. Everyone should feel like they have a support system at home. And there's often that disconnect between schools and families. And it's almost like working in two different silos. And somehow we expect this child to be that bridge. And most children, let's be honest, don't have that
00:06:43
Speaker
maturity, developmental skills, communication skills to be able to be that conduit. And so that's where we really need parents to step up, but we also need educators to step back and allow that student to be who they are in that moment and support them in the ways that they are able to within the parameters
00:07:11
Speaker
of all of the work that is, I don't want to say forced, but I feel like it's forced. A lot of it is forced upon them to stay within the guidelines at the curriculum. So to that end, as a parent, how do you see a learner centered space and how do you help
00:07:36
Speaker
The teachers, you know, the other parents that you work with and the teachers that you're trying to help them communicate with produce those kinds of environments. The very first thing that we have to do is rid ourselves of the biases that we carry with us. Whether we're a parent and we had a bad experience in school or
00:08:02
Speaker
We feel like we don't have enough time because we're busy or the teacher doesn't have time because they have so much to accomplish in the school day. We all have to rid ourselves of these barriers and start to communicate as people who are developing our relationship. Because when we start communicating
00:08:29
Speaker
as professionals, because we're each professionals of different aspects of our children, then we start to be able to communicate those issues, those successes that surround that child. And now we have a team.
00:08:58
Speaker
that's working together and focused on learning and student success.
Parents and Academic Performance
00:09:08
Speaker
So on this show, we talk a lot about assessment. And that shows up a lot in education. And it's always a big question of how do we authentically assess our students. And I know as a parent, Star is also a parent.
00:09:25
Speaker
We feel like we know what our kids know. We can say, oh, they worked so hard. They studied all weekend for this. How did they make this grade? Or why did they get this grade on this essay or this project? Because I saw what they did. And I know my kid. Or maybe they get a really great grade. And you're like, I know my kid didn't study. I don't know how they got that grade. So it goes both ways. So I'm curious on your perspective from the parent point of view,
00:09:55
Speaker
of if you get you have four children who are in university or beyond and you know you've had that experience of K through 12. What do you think works best from your perspective in the classroom to authentically assess what students really can do and really do know? Quite honestly for me ladies it's difficult to
00:10:25
Speaker
put all of this on our teachers and our educators. Yes, our teachers should know our students and what their academic skills are. But that's not the only part of it because they're coming into the classroom with maybe there was an issue at home last night or there was a late, I'm going to say it because I love football, football game.
00:10:54
Speaker
that they were out watching or something other personal agenda or issue that they're walking to the classroom with. That's not something an educator can know right off the bat. And I always tell this story and I have permission to tell it, but I have two daughters and the three of us are not mourning people at all.
00:11:22
Speaker
Do not talk to us, we do not converse with each other. We're not even nice in the morning if you're talking to us. But when they were going to school, school started at 701 in the morning at a high school, which is an ungodly hour, by the way. Well, I'll say Star and I are morning people. We like 701 a.m. I know you two do, and I really wish that I could be.
00:11:52
Speaker
But I am not. But what I would do is I would often, because I had a relationship with their teachers, even in high school, I would often send an email or a text and say, guess what? I'm sending you Oscar the Grouch today. Good luck. And it was not because I was being mean as a parent, but I can't expect
00:12:17
Speaker
the teachers to know that my child didn't get enough sleep last night because they were doing homework. Those are the responsibilities that we have to place on our parents because we should not expect all of our educators to know every nuance and every personal situation that is affecting their behavior in class. It's just unfair.
00:12:45
Speaker
And that's where that partnership is so important.
Enhancing Parent-School Communication
00:12:50
Speaker
I mean, that's wonderful that you mentioned that because actually this evening, right after we're done with this recording, I'm going back up to my daughter's school and they're going on an overseas trip and just getting all the logistics and the international travel paperwork taken care of. But part of these meetings is there is a form
00:13:18
Speaker
that they ask parents to fill out about just little things to know about your teenager. Are they a morning person? Are there certain foods they just absolutely hate? Are there just little things that the chaperones could know that would help make the students experience and the chaperones experience
00:13:38
Speaker
just a little bit more, go a little more smoothly. And this is the first year that we've done this kind of communication. And I think it's wonderful because it's giving us that bridge that you're talking about between the school and the family, because we're all in this together to support their child or support the child on this trip or in the classroom or whatever the endeavor is. So I really appreciate that you've shared that, that there's got to be that two-way communication.
00:14:08
Speaker
I appreciate that you take the time to reach out to the teachers to say that. I was in such a weird situation with my son when he was in high school still in particular, and maybe even in middle school as well, where as an educator, like we want to advocate for our kids, but at the same time, there's this really weird feeling like
00:14:36
Speaker
Like I didn't want to be one of those parents. And knowing how I felt when certain parents were a little bit like over involved with what was going on. And I'm not talking about good kind of involvement. I'm talking like helicopter parenting kind of situations. And like my son had legitimate things going on that I wanted to advocate for him for in that space. And
00:15:07
Speaker
He often encouraged me not to get involved, even though my gut was telling me I needed to. It did come to a point where I really did have to intervene, where I had to show up at school and make my presence known because he was being bullied and the school wasn't doing anything about it.
Advocacy and Challenges for Parents and Educators
00:15:29
Speaker
And so I wonder, as somebody who helps parents in this situation, do you deal or help with parents who are also educators, and how do you counsel them to help be an advocate and still also maintain those relationships without feeling like we're being overbearing? Well, overbearing's my middle name, so.
00:15:58
Speaker
I do that very well, but your situation is not an uncommon one, even though it's very personal and it's hurtful when your child is going through it because no child should be in that situation. And I'm sure your son was seeing how busy you were. And he also wanted to take ownership of it and feel like he was able to manage it.
00:16:30
Speaker
My advice to parents who are in your situation is sometimes we have to not let the child know what we're doing. And as hard as that is, sometimes you just have to say, I'm the adult. I see what's happening.
00:16:58
Speaker
know that it is something you want to handle. And I will give you X amount of time to figure this out, but we're going to talk about this every single evening until we have a resolution. And if we don't have a resolution in the next X number of days, then you and I are going to go talk to an administrator.
00:17:26
Speaker
And I know that's not easy for you as the parent who is an educator and who has skills in this arena, yet it's your son who is in that situation. It's a whole different ballgame, being an educator and then being a parent.
00:17:45
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, it really is. And to that end, you know, like I did end up doing almost like exactly what you just said. And I did make myself known. I think there was an additional challenge because
00:18:01
Speaker
All the administrators in my son's district knew who I was as an educator. I think I was quoted in a graduation speech, like one of the pieces that I had written wound up in one of the speeches. So I had this other kind of weird
00:18:20
Speaker
thing going on where navigating the situation as just star the parent versus star the educator coming in here to advocate for my child. And my son definitely, I was very hands-on after that situation occurred when I found out what was actually happening at school and why he didn't want to go. I was way more hands-on after that point where
00:18:51
Speaker
Overbearing probably could have been my middle name too. I actually camped outside the principal's office one day. He was busy all day and I sat outside his door for six hours until he would see me.
00:19:04
Speaker
But I think it's important for other parents out there to know that, like you said, Poonam, these are our children. And regardless of what roles we play outside of this space, this is the most important role. And therefore, we have to wear that hat first. Absolutely. The very first thing that I was taught as a parent
00:19:33
Speaker
of a first-time kindergartner way back when was that no one will advocate for your child like you will. And I love educators. I love teachers. I love the zest and energy and absolute dedication that they have to our future leaders.
00:20:04
Speaker
but at the same time, we can't expect them to go advocate for 25 students every year. It's not possible. They just don't have time. There are two different sides of a child. One is the one at home and the one is the one at school.
Cooperation Between Parents and Educators
00:20:23
Speaker
My son was very active at home and it was because he was bored.
00:20:29
Speaker
But when he got to school, he was stimulated and he was motivated and he was at the level where he was engaged. And that was really important. So there are two types of a child and we have to find that middle ground.
00:20:52
Speaker
that we can work together because my child was a great student. He was just bored at home and I just didn't have the physical time with three others to keep him engaged. So what, since we have so many listeners for the show who are educators,
00:21:19
Speaker
And some are parents, some aren't. There's a mix. What advice would you have for an educator who maybe is perceiving a parent as overbearing, as this is the word you used, but really they're well-meaning and they're advocating for your child. How would you advise that they maybe look at that situation differently? There are two things that I would suggest.
00:21:48
Speaker
One is you can have a sit down meeting with that parent and ask them what they are wanting to get out of their engagement in schools. If they want to be the helicopter parent or they want to just be the drop in parent. And we have we have everything in education from zero engagement to helicopter. The
00:22:20
Speaker
A conference with that parent will be able to give you some insight as to where you might be able to plug them in, where it's mutually beneficial for both of you. And the other thing that I would suggest is at orientation,
00:22:41
Speaker
when you have all of your parents there, it's a great time to say, this is what I would like from you throughout the year. What I need to know from you is what you're able to help me with. And so many educators do that, but when we do that, we're actually talking about events and activities that are happening in our classroom versus the meat of our day.
00:23:12
Speaker
And so I think those are two pieces of advice that I could get the teachers.
Resources for Parent-Teacher Collaboration
00:23:20
Speaker
So if you could shout out some folks that we should be following, Poonam, who should we know about in the parents' sphere who could help educators create better communication and better advocacy with parents in partnership?
00:23:41
Speaker
Well, if you haven't started, you should follow Crystal Frommert and Starr Saxton because they are amazing. I'm sure you know that because you are listening to their podcast. But I've found that Michelle Borba, she is the author of 24 education books.
00:24:06
Speaker
And I actually had her on my podcast when I still had it, but she writes not only for educators, but she writes for parents. She writes for the entire community.
00:24:24
Speaker
And I have found her to be very accessible. She is also obviously very well read, but she is definitely on the very top of my list of people to follow. There's a book out there by Prachi Gupta called They Call Us Exceptional.
00:24:44
Speaker
It is definitely for adults. It is not for children, but it talks about the immigrant first-generation experience from an Indian family's point of view, an Indian daughter. And it was my 2023 book of the year. I loved it because it showed how difficult
00:25:12
Speaker
immigrating to a country that is so different from your homeland is and the challenges that these families face. So those are the two that I would absolutely say are must follow people, read their books, follow them on social media. They've changed my life.
Conclusion and Contact Information
00:25:38
Speaker
And where can our listeners find you, Poonam, online? They can find me. I believe on every social media site. You can reach me at my website at PoonamTheSexSenna.com. And it has all my contact information and links to all of my social media sites.
00:26:02
Speaker
Fantastic. We will put that in the show notes, so please follow. And we really appreciate you being on the show today. Thank you for your time. Thank you for learning with us today. We hope you enjoyed the conversation as much as we did. If you'd like any additional information from the show, check out the show notes.
00:26:25
Speaker
Learn more about Mastery Portfolio and how we support schools at masteryportfolio.com. You can follow us on Twitter at masteryforall and on LinkedIn on the Mastery Portfolio page. And we'd love your feedback. Please write a review on your favorite podcasting app.