Transcript
Speaker: Hello and welcome to Kalerinden, the Ireland Chronicles.
Speaker: Kalerinden is an actual play Dungeons and Dragons podcast in which we will actually play Dungeons and Dragons as a podcast. My name is David Case LeClaire and I will be the narrator and game master for these sessions.
Speaker: Caleranden is a world of magic and adventure, a world of badger barkeeps, lemur librarians, and sea turtle sous chefs. It is a world perpetually beset by the forces of chaos.
Speaker: But every time the darkness returns, epic heroes rise to save the realm. But our adventure is not about the Epic Heroes, at least not directly.
Speaker: Our adventure is about three hardy hirelings that have signed on to carry the Epic Heroes baggage. And joining me as the hardy hirelings, we have Beth Gleason as... Lillia Thomas.
Speaker: And I think my parents are still alive, although... oh gosh, they must be really, really concerned if I'm a wanted criminal. I see the future plot lines coming into view.
Speaker: Intrigue. And we have Drew Gleason as... Tarwinius Gorf Nozzlesnot. Uh, Snot Mom Gorf, alive, ah but Snot Not Vizid enough.
Speaker: Going to get it.
Speaker: And Dave Sturgis as... I am playing Fredegar from the farms over on the damp side of the the river. Fred, having some Firbolg blood, i imagine has outlived his human mother at this point.
Speaker: His father, who was a more full-blooded Firbolg, wandered off at some point and gave Fred a lot of advice about not bothering the feyfolk and staying on the farm.
Speaker: So it's not entirely clear whether he would appreciate Fred taking after him. That is assuming he's adventuring and not doing something else. Just stepped out for a pack of Firbolg cigarettes. Well, I'm sure in this adventure, Fred will have nothing to do with the Feyfolk all.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: In our last episode, the hardy hirelings ventured into the Fey realm with the critical task of returning Sharnanon's library books to the Bibliotheca de Brancet.
Speaker: Having encountered many wonders, resisted the temptation of cow honey, and stuffed their ostensible leader Fizz Whiz in a muffin sack, they now approach a large stone building hidden in the trees.
Speaker: As you move closer to that large stand of trees with the structure in it, the wind picks up little bit. The grasses flop around you in the wind, sometimes in the wrong direction. You hear the sound of water running, but don't see any source.
Speaker: As you keep walking, step into the stand of trees, and as you come out on the other side, you see a large, ancient stone building rising up. The sides are almost like an octagon on the ground, like there eight sides to the building.
Speaker: Raise your hand if you were picturing an octagon in any other orientation. All right. Let's move on from the shape building. The building, lot of it is covered in a heavy green ivy.
Speaker: It's huge. It rises up above you. There are two windows in the wall facing you relatively high up in a small balcony beneath the two windows in the center, and then directly below that,
Speaker: large door set into the stone. Oh, thank goodness. I thought we were going have to Rapunzel our way in here. Heavy vines are strung all around the stonework above the door.
Speaker: I don't suppose there's like a sign on it or anything? No sign. Bibliotheca. Never thought I'd be hoping for a sign. Are there any signs of life other the trees?
Speaker: no Footsteps or movement or... Well, there is a well-worn path going up to that entrance. But you don't see anything here now. Is this book place?
Speaker: Or we meet Beverly Decker here? I mean, this could be a very nice book place. I sure hope so. Fred is going to head for the door.
Speaker: As you get closer, lights suddenly appear in the two windows on the front wall. Lights kind of move, like they're tracking you. And right before you get there, the door suddenly opens and a burst of air flies out.
Speaker: Massive, windy voice echoes out of the opening. Who goes up here?
Speaker: Oh, is it like like the door is speaking like a mouth? Yeah. In fact, it kind of looks a little bit like a face with the two windows. Oh, neat. And the doorway is kind of moving. The stone is moving as the words come out.
Speaker: Ah! Snutt is going to drop his pack and dive for the nearest cover. It's a little ways back. There isn't a lot of cover here. Yeah, he's dropped the sack of Fizzwhiz on the spot, and he's padding his way rapidly back towards the forest to get okay and out of sight.
Speaker: To drop the pack, you hear kind of a, Ow! Ow! My ass!
Speaker: Fred is going to... Fred is sort of taken aback by the this building. Didn't realize he was near a giant mouth before, but now he knows that. He's kind of wishing he didn't. But after ah the initial shock wears off, he's going to...
Speaker: Fumble around in his backpack and try to pull the the books out. ah Good good afternoon afternoon, I suppose. um We have some so books to return. ah Fred fumbles for an honorific and just gives up.
Speaker: Another burst of air, kind of a musty blast of air comes out as words echo out.
Speaker: why didn't you just say Wait, are they overdue? Fred looks at Lily and can't figure out what happened to Snot.
Speaker: They shouldn't be. They they should be um just on time. Are you pulling out the oak leaf? Yes. Yeah, it's about half wilted. So according to this leaf, it should be just on time. um Maybe another hour Cool.
Speaker: Okay. All right. I guess you can come in. That kind of opens wide. By
Speaker: the way, I can't do this all day. me. Hurry up.
Speaker: I don't want any flies to go in Quickly. boy Worst house winter ever. feel like i've I've had this dream before.
Speaker: This is why you don't trust houses. I feel like I'm in the Wizard of Oz, and walking towards the wizard's giant mouth. Start thinking, oh, this is my thing now.
Speaker: No. Well, where is Snot still back in the trees? Yeah, he's just peering around behind a tree watching his surprisingly unconcerned companions as they, looks like um a tower is tricking them into walking into its mouth.
Speaker: As you're back there, Snot, you hear a loud buzzing noise behind you, a swarm of something. Zzz, zzz. It's not over his shoulder expecting to see one of the bees or something, maybe?
Speaker: Yeah, no, you see like a cloud of small, quickling-sized creatures moving rapidly towards you. ah Are they actually moving directly towards me? Yeah, they seem to be. Yeah.
Speaker: Okay. Snot is ah going to abandon the tree and come racing back into the clearing, picking up his bag and following the others. Wait, wait, wait!
Speaker: They were going in there, weren't they? yeah Yeah. Fred is not happy about it, but he is. yeah Kind of wincing a little bit. ah Yeah, yeah. and pretend Pretend like you're not enjoying it. I know.
Speaker: As you step in, right inside the room, there's a deep, red, thick carpet. Oh, God. On the floor. It looks carved like the inside of a creature's mouth.
Speaker: It's kind of gross. And you hear us, and there's just this rumbling voice going, Oh yeah. Uh huh. Get in there.
Speaker: And they were never heard from again. At the back of the small little foyer, you see stairs look more like conventional stairs heading steeply down.
Speaker: All right. Hopefully we're past the weird part.
Speaker: Past the weird part? Oh... It's called the uvula.
Speaker: Okay. As you step in, kind of ducking past the weird stone stalagmite hanging from the ceiling, tight.
Speaker: Stalagula?
Speaker: Yeah, you head down the stairs. As you go down the stairs, it loses its resemblance to any kind of living creature. comes a much more conventional set of stairs. Small sconces in the wall.
Speaker: Porches glow with a weird blue flame. The stairs continue down at a steep angle. After another few minutes of walking... Snot's pretty much run into the back of Fred by this point.
Speaker: Is the cloud of things coming towards me at all? No. Okay, good, good, good. As you are going down those stairs... leaving oral region of the entrance, think do you do hear a large clunk behind you, something closing, and a contented sigh.
Speaker: Oh, no. As the whole building trembles a little bit. Oh, yeah, that's the stuff.
Speaker: Further down, as you proceed down the stairs, it opens up into a moderate-sized room. It's a stone room. It's rectangular.
Speaker: In the center of the room, there's a large circular stone table about waist height for Lily. Upon the table, there's kind of bit of brass filigree jutting up. Strange letters, runes are inscribed around the edges of the table.
Speaker: Across the room, there is a fancy stone door set into the wall. Looks like that's the only exit from this room, apart from the stairs that you just came down. What body opening does it resemble?
Speaker: Use your imagination. Oh, dear. On either side of the doorway, there are two statues. They look like they're Charce figures, in fact. The one on the left is a male form dressed in a fancy suit and holding a loft teapot.
Speaker: And the one on the right is a taller female form wearing intricately carved frilly dress and wearing a crown and has a large feather duster.
Speaker: Oh. And finally... On the wall next to the stairs, there's a bench. And above it on the wall is large piece of corkboard with parchment scraps stuck to it.
Speaker: It's classic guards. One that always lies and the other one that always talks shit about your family.
Speaker: As you step into the room... um Oh, go go ahead. We're book. Get... put book on table. Not sort of hopping around and just looking from one place to another. Not sure what danger might look like in this circumstance.
Speaker: Are you moving into the room? Yeah. Okay. As you're stepping into the room, the statues slowly, their stone faces turn towards you.
Speaker: And the one, the one on the left, the male statue, starts speaking. It says, if the library you wish to see, one of us speaks only lies. Another cannot but... And then the other statue interrupts.
Speaker: Nope, nope, not doing it. Everybody knows that bit. It's getting bloody old. Good girl. Fred's kind of nodding. Does she bonk him on the head with the feather duster?
Speaker: First statue looks a little dejected. I like doing this bit. Ah, well.
Speaker: Snot is attempting to use Fred for cover. It's pretty effective. Yeah, Fred is no longer risen up, but he's still pretty substantial.
Speaker: Probably easier to hide behind when he's in a dad bod form. Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Uh, good afternoon, folks. um We have some some books here to return. where Where should I put them? If the books you wish to return, and then through the door into the library you must... Oh, this isn't going to rhyme.
Speaker: Hold on. Let me think of a good rhyme. Quite all right. Oh, tell everybody it did. It's okay. We're on a schedule. We don't need rhyming. The female statue interrupts.
Speaker: Hold on. Did you say you're on a schedule? I don't suppose your books are overdue? No. Nope. Nope. Nope. I hold up Leif. No, they're not overdue.
Speaker: Oh. Not yet. We'd like to... How disappointing. Return them before they're overdue. Suppose you would, but I guess you'd have to get through the door, wouldn't you? I, uh, we do have to get through the door.
Speaker: So, uh, is it gonna open or? No. Fred's eyes narrow a little. What do you mean, Oh, that's just a damn shame, isn't it? The male statue speaks.
Speaker: I'm afraid we're not doing the whole lying, not lying thing. So, you're on your own. Fred starts limbering up his door-bashing arm and But she was so like girl power and and everything. Why can't you just open the door? that's girl power.
Speaker: It's not in our power to open the door. Door can only open. It is time for the door to open. And right now it is not time oh the conundrum Do you have to use words like that?
Speaker: Can't you just talk like a normal statue? By all the darkness of Kaelic gets old after all these years. Fred's going to take a quick look around the room. There was a bench. Is there anything else that's bigger or heavier than a bench?
Speaker: Well, there is the big, large, circular stone table in the center of the room, but it looks pretty securely attached to the floor. Fred is going to give the table that wants over, just on principle.
Speaker: Well, it does have a brass pointer in the center that juts up at an angle with elegant filigree around it. And then around the edge of the table on the top, there are runes inscribed. Fred is going to see if if the brass pointer comes off the table.
Speaker: It does not. You can try force it, but it doesn't seem to move at all. Fred is that guy in an escape room is always trying to unscrew the light bulb. Well, I mean, I was going to say, maybe it unscrews out of the table?
Speaker: That's pretty firmly in there. Well, Fred's going to try turning it. Not to solve the puzzle, to see if you can take it apart. Doesn't want to turn. You could try and rip it out, but you think it's quite secure.
Speaker: I go over to the runes, can I read them? Can I touch them? Do you speak Sylvan? Nope. You cannot read them. Okay. Oh. Okay.
Speaker: Actually, Fred speaks Sylvan for what it's worth. Okay. So go, Fred, go. So Fred, you can actually, as you're examining it, you realize that, I mean, you're not exactly yeah fluent.
Speaker: Maybe you can speak it fluently. I can read the hiragana for the rest of it. Right. I was not expecting this to turn on Fred's reading ability. But yeah, you do recognize the runes of Sylvan, and maybe it's an older form of Sylvan than you know.
Speaker: If you want to try and read them, since we know Fred isn't super literate, maybe you can make a, say, history check to see how well you can read the words. Hmm.
Speaker: That is a 11 minus 1 is 10. It's pretty tough. So this is not referring to seeds or the storage of dry goods.
Speaker: Well... I think some of these words are actually a little more familiar to you. Ah, the turnip rune. One of the words is lunch.
Speaker: Now we're getting somewhere.
Speaker: Fred, as you're looking at it, the letters are kind of inscribed in a crystal into the rock. You see the word that says lunch. They seem to be glowing faintly. Looking around at the other runes, I think you would also recognize the one that says darkness.
Speaker: To pass the door before time for lunch, give the talky statue a punch. Drew, do you have guidance? I do, yes.
Speaker: Since hiding behind Fred has become kind of impractical with Fred now walking around looking at things... Snot is very cautiously approaching the door between the two statues, watching to see if they make a move at any moment.
Speaker: The male one is kind of lifting its teapot in a threatening manner. Okay. Snot's going to sort of edge over a little bit more towards the female one, but I'm curious, how tightly fitted is this door?
Speaker: Well, there's no obvious handle, and it looks like there's no gap between floor or around the edges. Okay. Like not even a mouse could slip through there. No.
Speaker: Not even an extremely handsome, muscular toad. is there a keyhole? I'm going to swell. I'm going to say yes, there is a keyhole. The keyhole is relatively big, maybe about an inch high and about half an inch wide.
Speaker: Okay, Snot is going to cautiously walk up to the door and then put his eye to the keyhole.
Speaker: As you peek through the keyhole, it's a little bit hard to see, but there seems to be a bright room on the other side, and you can kind of see a desk that's blocking most of the view. So it's maybe a few feet away, but it's high enough that you can't really see above it.
Speaker: ah Like along the front of a wooden desk. Statue lady, do books go to desk? She looks at you.
Speaker: Through the door you must go if you wish to return the books to the... Oh, we're all bad at rhyming today. That's okay. Take your time.
Speaker: It's not just standing there staring at her waiting for her to think of rhyme. She's like, There once was an elf from Ardee.
Speaker: was an elf from our d No. Um... Maybe a thing rhyme with book. Uh, look. Cook.
Speaker: Um, this could take a while. Uh... Why don't you come back after lunchtime? No, um... No, we have to give book back soon. Um, what time is it now?
Speaker: When's lunch? It is now lunchtime. So we come back now? After lunch, the door will be... Well, we'll see.
Speaker: Is any other part of that table movable or adjustable? Make a perception or investigation. Wow, Fritz. Kind of bad at both of those.
Speaker: Oh, okay, 19. Okay. Okay. for investigation. None of it can move. But as you're examining it closely, you realize that there's a very faint shaft of light coming down from above, casting ah shadow from that little bronze bit sticking up.
Speaker: that shadow is touching upon the word lunch. Shut your mouth. was talking about shaft. Okay, then I dig it. And the light's sort of coming down from the ceiling? Yeah.
Speaker: Can't really see where. It's kind of gloomy up there. It's not very bright light, or you would have noticed it right away. It's just a faint bit. You can see specks of dust moving around in it when you look closely.
Speaker: Don't suppose anybody's got a... Darkness spell, or... Brad scratches his head. I have a light spell. Couldn't I light up after lunch?
Speaker: Turnip guy... You give books to Snot.
Speaker: Oh, uh, sure. Fred hands the extremely large books over to Snot. Okay, Snot did not make this clear, but he exchanges a tightly tied sack full of quickling for the books.
Speaker: Oh. if you If you take it. Peter's kind of mumbling. Yeah. bar And he tucks a big tome under each arm.
Speaker: and walks back over to the door. All right, so as you're doing this, ah Lily, are you are you trying anything with light? Well, I can't read it, so I just want to... I was checking with Fred if he thought that that was... Yeah, let's let's ah let's give that a try. sure let's try it.
Speaker: I will put the light on the after lunch work.
Speaker: So how are you doing that? You're casting light on something? I want to cast the light on the word. On the table on the word. Or do i have to do I have to have it on like my shield or something like that?
Speaker: It's a carried object? I forget how the... So just just to be clear, this is kind of like a sundial. Okay. Yeah, I'm not sure Fred gets that.
Speaker: I mean, I could even do a coin and then put the coin on the word. Yeah. Okay. I think any small object would do. All right.
Speaker: You take a coin, summon the power of Halia, and it glows with golden hues. And then what do you do with the coin?
Speaker: Oh, this is going to be so bad. um I'm going to put it on the word to the... Well, is the writing right to left or left to right?
Speaker: I think Fred would know that it's written left or right. The one after lunch. So you sort of go on Wittershins. Well, putting the coin on there, bright light shines from the coin outwards and doesn't seem to have any effect.
Speaker: It's not, would like take an action when it's an appropriate time. Yeah. So they're working on this and they're not quite figuring it out. What it's not like to do. Walking back up to the door with a couple quick glances at the male statue and his threatening teapot.
Speaker: Snot's going to kneel forward. He's got a book tucked under each arm. And he's going to stoop forward and look through the keyhole again. And mutter some sort of word.
Speaker: Doesn't really sound like goblin, but some goblin adjacent tongue. And misty step to in front of the desk. Okay, great. You just sort of pop through. There's like thumping noise.
Speaker: And I think you both immediately notice that Drew is just poofed out of existence. Oh, because he figured it out then. wait As for snot, as the cloud of swamp fog clears around you, you find yourself in a vast open room.
Speaker: The wooden desk stretches out in front of you across the room, piled high with dusty tomes, ancient grimoires, and hastily bound collections of saucy limericks.
Speaker: Behind the desk, massive bookshelves stretch up towards the vaulted ceiling at the edge of vision. The room is awash with activity. Oh, wow. For a moment, you think the room is filled with birds, but then you realize they are in fact books flapping around the room at all heights.
Speaker: Snot has, he doesn't see a lot of books day to day, but he's never known them to do this. And I'm going to say that you also notice that there is a door behind you and it has a handle on this side.
Speaker: wow Snot is going to place the two books he brought with him down onto the desk and not observing anyone to receive them, I believe.
Speaker: but He doesn't see anything living other than flappy books, right? Yeah. He is going to walk back to the door and pull on the handle. Yeah, the handle turns and you can just pull the door open from the side without any trouble.
Speaker: Okay. Are Lily and Fred on the other side there? Yeah, Lily and f Fred are standing by the stone dial, looking over towards the door, perhaps with surprise upon their faces.
Speaker: Oh, well done, Mr. Snot. Let me guess. He was the liar. Great job, Snot. Library open. One of the statues is like, this job sucks.
Speaker: All right. You hear a voice, Snot, from behind you, from behind the desk. Excuse it's looks over those are, Master? He looks kind of helplessly
Speaker: It seems that one of the stacks of books that was on the desk has been pushed aside, and behind it, sitting on the desk, there is a strange creature. It's about snot-sized, but it's furry, humanoid, has lemur-like features, big, glassy eyes.
Speaker: And unlike a lemur, it has horns on its head. ah It's wearing pantaloons and a fancy waistcoats, holding up a monocle, sitting cross-legged on top of the desk.
Speaker: And you can see that its feet ended cloven hooves. looking at the two books are these books overdue by any chance nope nope no chance is the leaf still green at some point yeah it's still green no they are not overdue this leaf says so well i've never ah trusted leaves to do my job for me one moment he opens the book holds his barnacle close to it sort of mumbles to himself
Speaker: All right. I guess you're okay there in time. Yeah. I was just enjoying my lunch here, so I don't know what the big idea is bursting in here. Oh, does it have a lunch in view?
Speaker: Yeah. Oh. Kind of a little spread, open-faced sandwich with sardines upon it. Oh.
Speaker: Um... Wait a minute! There was a thing about not eating stuff while we're here. It's not... He's sort of leaning over, and his eyes get a little big, and then he just stands up and puffs out his chest, and... He didn't say anything.
Speaker: Soldiers threw it. Yeah. Yeah, somebody else talked to Zabuma-fu, though. Now, is there anything else I can help you rude mortals with today? Uh, yes, I believe we were supposed to get that the Caravan Sunder account.
Speaker: This also for Sharnanon, is it? Yes. Yes. Annoying little halfling. It's for Sharni. Yes, I have the book right here.
Speaker: The Scaravan's account of the Sunder. Yes, this is very rare. expect it to be returned on time. Drumming its fingers on the desk. Oh, yes, of course.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Now, is there anything else that you need today, or is that all? We really appreciate your time, and I'm so sorry we interrupted your lunch. Snot have question.
Speaker: And which one of you is snot, then? o Wait, I figured it out.
Speaker: Is it okay eat honey here? Oh, yes, it's wonderful if you eat honey here. It's not just turns and punches. It just punches Fred in the thigh.
Speaker: The lemur says, I could always use some more statues. Oh, sorry, turnip guy, Fred. I think that there's something else you're looking for, but I can't tell what.
Speaker: ah Not you. The...deeds?
Speaker: The deeds of... To the farms. Fred's farms. Oh, they they would have that here? Oh, Fred's farm. That's very specific, isn't it?
Speaker: a Snot points, helpfully. That Fred! Uh, Myrfanci? Myrfanci. Myrfanci, yeah. Myrfanci, yeah. Yes, we have books on Myrfanci, huh?
Speaker: Yes. I think you'll find what you're looking for in, um... but let me see. The Chronicles of Galdor, Volume 2. Would that be acceptable?
Speaker: it's got, uh, Myrfanci in property deeds, then absolutely. It won't have deeds, but it may have information about these, the Farms of the Fred, as you say.
Speaker: What language is the book in? The common tongue. I suspect at least one of you could read it. Perfect. If you're interested, i can let you back into the stacks. You'll want to look in Clover section on Shelf 7. All right.
Speaker: right
Speaker: Just, uh, Fred's looking at all bookshelves and flying books and... Come on, Fred. Oh, uh, here you go. do we have time?
Speaker: On the leaf? There's a little bit of green left, yeah. You'd say maybe fifteen twenty minutes left. I hope we remembered to wind our leaf today. he opens up a little doorway and points back to the stacks and he whistles and a little scrap of like a bookmark flies up in the air.
Speaker: Kind of bends a little, indicates that it wants you to follow it. It floats back into the stacks. It's a cheeky little sign, isn't it? hidden Oh, have a care. Don't just disturb the lady. right. We'll just get the book and make our way home.
Speaker: All right, are all three of you going back? We're not leaving. It's not.
Speaker: It's not just standing there sort of puzzling over how we can possibly leave business here, but he hasn't got any ideas yet.
Speaker: Alright. So you walk back into the stacks. They just tower above you. There are books like stretching up all different kinds, shapes, sizes. The air has a heavy layer of dust in it.
Speaker: You constantly hear the sound as books flap around above your head. As you're watching, there's a small book that's floating around and big book comes sweeping along and smacks it in between its sleeves.
Speaker: You see a few torn pages flutter to the ground. Nature is truly a terrifying thing. Smilent little thing. Red in tooth and page.
Speaker: As you head further back, you see large, ornate symbol of a clover is worked into one of the bookshelves. The bookmark seems to lead you along to the seventh section.
Speaker: Oh, that's good, because I don't count too much higher than that. What that guy mean, not bother lady? As you reach the section, the bookmark looks around.
Speaker: Seems to be lost a little bit. Sips around, up and down, and around looking for the right book. This guy gave us an effective bookmark. Fred's going to start looking at book titles, I guess.
Speaker: Okay. yeah Make an investigation check, or if you're if're working together, one of you can roll with advantage. Yeah, go ahead. Uh-oh. I can give you guidance if you look like you're trying to do something really hard. Yeah.
Speaker: Fred is, I would say he is puzzling over the titles of the books pretty heavily. look hard. Snot is going to tap the side of his nose and speak a little something in a goblinoid tongue to try and assist Fred in his search.
Speaker: Okay. Alright, so... That is 11. Minus 1 10. Plus 1 is 11. did not. that is... An 11 minus 1 plus 1 is 11.
Speaker: you take advantage oh i did not that is and eleven minus one plus one is eleven ah Between the two of you, you're not finding what you're looking for. You do find Chronicles. You find mention of Galdor, but not the Chronicles of Galdor volume two.
Speaker: The bookmark seems to have found something. It's lighted upon an empty slot on the shelf. It's like looking around in a about as confused as a bookmark can look.
Speaker: Peaks the top of itself into a little hole, looks around and pops back out. It's getting a little agitated.
Speaker: Maybe it's... Was it supposed to be here?
Speaker: What is... it traps out flying around? Lily tries to talk to everything.
Speaker: You don't hear anything, but you feel presence behind you. All three of you feel it. A chill at the back of your neck. The hackles rising. Snot's going to very slowly look back over his shoulder.
Speaker: Very close to you, almost right behind you, is a woman dressed entirely in white robes. She has a hood pulled up over her head.
Speaker: This white hood is pulled so low that you could only see her cracked lips and sharp, glistening teeth. The robe is long. Pure white reaches to the ground.
Speaker: And she doesn't really to walk. She seems to just be floating near you. Her hands have a purplish hue and she's clutching large book.
Speaker: Snyder's going to immediately look back forward and just move up closer, as close to Fred as he can and pretend like he didn't see anything and it's not there. And that she's got the book we want?
Speaker: You're not sure. don't you grab it from her and check?
Speaker: I think I'll talk to her like I talk to everything. Nice. All right. Um, hello, ma'am. We're looking for ah a book.
Speaker: I don't suppose you've seen it, and I forget the name of the book, but... The woman's fingers kind of curl around the book, and you hear a voice, wispy and mysterious, as her lips curl slightly.
Speaker: This is not the book you are looking for. She holds it out to you, and you see written in golden letters on the cover is the Chronicles of Galdor, Volume 2.
Speaker: That's the book I was looking for. Are you reading it? Are you enjoying it? We kind of need it. We'll give it back, though.
Speaker: We'll bring it back on time. do not have everything I need from this book. Despite saying that, she reaches out and seems to be handing it to you.
Speaker: I will take the book. It's quite heavy. The woman leans in close and she smells of dust and forgotten things.
Speaker: Listen to me, adventurers. The mortal realm is not in any danger. You have all the time in the world.
Speaker: We just, we have to get back before two hours or we're stuck here. We'll come back. I mean, if you want me to visit, I can help out around the the books and dust and But we need this book and we need to leave.
Speaker: Your fates have not already sealed. She kind of starts floating back away from you, creepily.
Speaker: Is she taking the book? No, you're holding the book. Oh. Thank you, ma'am. I'll say hello again when we return it, on time.
Speaker: She stops, maybe about 20 feet away. You can trust everything Anne Fereniel tells you.
Speaker: She turns and disappears into the stacks. Lily closes her eyes, clutches the book to her chest. Oh, that was creepy. Can we please go? Yeah, yes, let's let's let's do that.
Speaker: You notice that the bookmark was hiding in the little hole? yeah Kind of peeks its little book head out. a Good job there, little buddy. ah Stop, think, maybe.
Speaker: White lady lying. You hear the clomping of hooves coming down the corridor. Around the stack, you see the little lemur librarian clears his throat. Ah, I see you have found what you are looking for, then?
Speaker: Yes, we have. We would like to, um... What's the word? Borrow this book. the but Check out this book, yes. Very well. and Consider it checked out. i have put it on Shananan's account.
Speaker: They will be held responsible if it is not returned.
Speaker: um sir, how long do we have until we return the book? Sean and Arn will know. I wouldn't worry about it. Great. It's not on your head.
Speaker: It's on theirs.
Speaker: Brett's kind of like nodding like, mm-hmm, yep. Oh, okay. so You were curious about land deeds of mere fancier, I believe you mentioned.
Speaker: I did. i have excellent news. I have found exactly what you're looking for. Oh, how about that? It is on a very high shelf, so might need your assistance.
Speaker: Do you have a few minutes to spare? Fred looks back to the leaf. The leaf is almost entirely brown. um Fred. And the top of it appears to be withering and crumbling.
Speaker: Fred, I'll make this your call. aye I'm sorry, I'm going to need your verbal assent that you have the time to help me out.
Speaker: I don't think we have the time, I'm afraid. As you're saying this, you hear a rush of wind on the other end of the corridor. Leaves stir up in the air and spin out into a circle.
Speaker: There's mist, and then the mist clears, and inside you see, inside of the Mud Puddle Adventurers Guild, you see Sharnanan waving cheerily. Hello, are you finished? It is time to go.
Speaker: Fred's- I have the deeds that you need. They're right here. You could have them. Could we come back? Just a moment. Could you just put them aside for us? Oh, I'm sorry. Very hard to find. I don't know if I could find them again.
Speaker: All I need is just a few moments. Fred lets out a very deep, tired breath. I suppose we should get going.
Speaker: Shardadon is stuck her head through the portal, looking around wildly. her hair's kind of flopping. She's like- Ah, we have no time. all right. The portal is closing. i cannot open it again. sorry Fred starts very reluctantly shoving snot through the portal. It's not as yeah definitely going that way.
Speaker: Thank you. The librarian is like following after you. No. sir Look, this is my final offer. I can't and guarantee they'll be here anymore. They're exactly what you need. And all I require is a little bit of time.
Speaker: Snot's gesturing and attempting completely incomprehensibly to explain to Sharn that there's a thing we need to stay for, and then maybe... Ah, no, he will make you your slaves.
Speaker: Do not stay. I don't have slaves. I have volunteers. Oh. Come on, fred Fred. We'll be back. Yeah, I think you called them statues, didn't you? Well, nice try. They weren't always statues.
Speaker: Yeah, we have Guy help you. Snot's gonna hold his hands out towards Fred. Looks like he wants something from you. Maybe something you're carrying.
Speaker: Fred tears his gaze away from Lemur, Librarian, and ushers his friends back through the gate. Still carrying the bag with Pizwiz in it. The oak leaves are kind of brown and wrinkled as you step into the gate. Poof through, and this time it's a little bit of a different feeling. Before it was kind of a nice tingly, and here it's like a almost a wrenching yank on your soul as you're twisted through and spat out the other side.
Speaker: And as Fred steps through last, you see the librarian is angrily staring at you and books are flapping down towards the portal as it collapses into fog behind you and the leaves crumble to dust as you stumble onto the floor of the Mud Puddle Adventurers Guild.
Speaker: I still have the book though, right? Yes. Okay. You have two books, actually. Fred has Scaravan's account of the Sundering. Sharnanan's book. And you have The Chronicles of Galdor, Volume 2.
Speaker: Ah, why we lovely Fizzwhizz. Ah, where is, uh, where is Fizzwhizz? It's not just points at the bag, but... oh Fred kind of guiltily opens the bag. Ah, he was, uh, feeling a bit tired, so we let him take a Sharnanan giggles. Ah, he is so cute.
Speaker: Do you think that he likes me? fred Fred is completely unprepared for this question. ah I suppose you'd have to ask ask the little fellow yourself.
Speaker: Although I am much too shy. That's good. Good for you.
Speaker: Fred kind of offers the bag. Charnadon takes the bag, and turns it upside down and shakes it. Oh! And Fizzwhiz falls out. He's just covered in cupcakes, frosting, muffin bits, little strands of turnip in his hair, and he falls on the floor. He's rolling around, woozily.
Speaker: Oh, I ate too much. Charnadon kind of nudges him with her foot. Ah, he is not so cute now.
Speaker: Yeah, you see? Oh, almost forgot. Here's your, uh, your sundering scaravans. Ah, this will be very useful to us. And, um, we borrowed this, the Chronicles of Galdor, and put it under your name, but we'll get it back.
Speaker: yes Ah, yes, that is no problem. Also, I made a small error in my calculation. It turns out the books were not due in two hours. They were due in 200 years.
Speaker: hundred years
Speaker: Sorry. ah But it was it was had no problem, right? I guess if you were done with them, it's good to um get them back and off the shelf.
Speaker: Let's not never trust Leaf again. I hope it was it's not an inconvenience for you. Fred says nothing. He's thinking about saying something, but he's not saying anything.
Speaker: We got this. Hopefully this will help us. I think this would be very good. It's very perspicacious that you have acquired this other book. This could be very useful.
Speaker: you know the tale of Galdor Bravir? I'm afraid I don't. He was a hero, one of the first epic heroes, and he was from Myrfancia. I have heard a thing or two about Myrfancia. I have.
Speaker: Ah, perhaps there will be some useful information in the book. But for now, you have returned safely to us. And that is very nice.
Speaker: Snot is still trying to coax his bag away from Fred. Oh, sorry. Sorry, Snot. Here you go. He looks down into it. oh Kind of wrinkling up his long goblin nose.
Speaker: Think he'd take Fizzwhiz in there. Fizzwhiz is waking up. Sitting up, little crumbs of stuff falling off of him.
Speaker: Ah, we're back. Was it a success? Yep, mission accomplished, little buddy. All right, good job, team. I knew I could do it. fred Fred sighs.
Speaker: you did. That you did.
Speaker: All right, and as we have returned to the Mud Puddles Guild with books in tow, yeah everyone, safe and sound, let us end this episode of Clarendon, The Hireling Chronicles.
Speaker: Yay! Let it go library! it cool when I say it like that it that? Yeah, no, that's reasonably cool. Try it some other ways, though. Give us a pe give its few different takes.
Speaker: Clarendon, The Hireling Chronicles! Uh-huh, okay. Alright, now how would Optimus Prime say it? It is the right of every sentient being to watch Clarendon The Hireling Chronicles.
Speaker: My favorite character has got to be Fred.
Speaker: Thank you for listening to Clarendon The Hireling Chronicles and please join us for our next exciting episode.
Speaker: you
Speaker: you
