Transcript
Sammi: Hello, I'm Sammy, and you're listening to Rose Plate Special, the most dramatic, Sammy forgot to change her audio, rich, Mormon-ing-est recap podcast of The Bachelor ever.
Steve: Hello. And I'm Steve.
Steve: Ever.
Sammi: Okay, there we go. um You were on my speaker. So sorry if anything sounded weird at the beginning coming in for my mic. I don't think it will. But that was driving me a little bonkers.
Steve: right.
Sammi: but ah But yeah, hi, everybody. First of all, it's spring break.
Steve: Hi.
Sammi: It's spring break. So let's just celebrate that we're on spring break.
Steve: Spring break. Oh my God.
Sammi: I'm going Iowa.
Steve: We're doing the show live from Punta Cana.
Sammi: Woo! ah
Steve: We're doing the show live from Des Moines.
Sammi: Not today, but yeah, we are like, okay, so let's just talk about how excited I am to go to Iowa.
Steve: No.
Sammi: I'm not even i'm not even kidding. um Because, okay, so I won't get into too much. But ah with the work that I'm doing academically, Iowa is like a very big farm, food, land grant type of a place.
Sammi: And so I was like, oh, what are things to do?
Steve: Oh.
Sammi: in the city we are visiting and there's like this barn like it like i don't know kind of seems like old world wisconsin-y except not old world wisconsin-y if that makes sense um where you can learn how to do things like canning and and whatnot but then uh they i shit you not they have a class like while we're in town called exploring old cookbooks
Steve: oh
Sammi: And I was like, I've never heard anything more Sammy-coded than that. Explore.
Steve: That's Sammy Cora for sure.
Sammi: I'm like, I literally, what do I do? i explore old cookbooks for fun. And now they're like, we're going to make you pay money to do that. But I'm like, that sounds kind of fun. um But I found a couple like movie theaters and museums. And um there's like a sculpture garden, some cool pi ah pinball places and mini golf places.
Sammi: So think we're going to have a really good time. um But I may or may not film on location. it kind of depends.
Steve: um my God.
Sammi: I'm going to bring my, yeah, my not as good ah webcam, but I have like, I got this like microphone for free because they were basically like, I don't know if you know this friends, but if you return things to Amazon, they don't tend to go back to the manufacturer.
Steve: Our favorite.
Sammi: They just go in the garbage.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: um And there's like a, I think, perfectly good, ah pretty nice Elgato microphone that I got ah for zero dollars.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: So um that would have just gone in the garbage. So I'm going to test that out. But if it sounds good enough and we decide to do it, I may record on location. Otherwise, you're going wait.
Sammi: You're to have to wait for the woman tell all.
Steve: Isn't that nice? I mean, it's it's actually horrible and wasteful, but it's so funny. Like every once a while you go to return something and they're just like, nah, just keep it. Like, ah sure, why not?
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: Whatever you say, Uncle Bezos.
Sammi: One of my one of my best now this was Sephora, but one of my best ah return stories was, OK, so I ordered these like volume spa candles and it was like a little it was like a 12 pack of like little glass candles.
Sammi: I don't know if I can grab one quickly. I don't think I can, but they're about this big.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: And I was like, I don't know if that's going to ship okay, but they're saying they can ship them.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: So I'm going to get them. And so I got them and they arrived like, like three of them were broken. And so they're like, well, do what do you want us to do? Do you want us to like refund or do you want us to send you a replacement?
Sammi: And I was like, well, I want these candles. And if you're going to give me a replacement, then at least I can make use of the other ones. And yeah, feel free to send me a replacement. They sent me a replacement. That one also arrived even more broken.
Steve: Oh.
Sammi: That's possible. And I was like, okay, this is pretty bad. And I said, I don't think there's a point in you sending a third one. i would worry that it would just arrive broken.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: So like, what else can we do? And they're like, well we can refund you. And this was like a $90 box of candles. Like these are like very bougie candles that I was like buying for a very specific fancy purpose because I'm a Taurus.
Steve: Jesus.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: And I was like, okay, I'm going to, you know, I have now like, I don't know, I would say like 19 or 20 of the 24 candles that I got are like perfectly functional. And a few of them are broken.
Sammi: And, but like the packaging was even like pushed out. Like it was very obvious that like, I didn't like break them. it was like, before I even opened it, the packaging was jacked up and I was like, took pictures and stuff.
Steve: No.
Sammi: So they gave me a full refund. So for $90, I got like two big things of candles for free.
Steve: See?
Sammi: Yeah. So not for $90. It wasn't. So basically i got $180 worth of candles for free. Girl, man. um So it's pretty, it's pretty exciting.
Steve: Not bad at all.
Sammi: um But yeah, so ah we'll see. We'll see what happens with that microphone. I got test it. But I, ah yeah, I feel like I've just been behind on everything this week.
Sammi: Like my ass has been dragging and I felt like exhausted.
Steve: Mm
Sammi: Like I'm sleeping okay, but then I'm like napping in the middle of the day. I get like an hour of work done and then I go, I can't do any more right now. And my sinuses have been like driving me bonkers. And what I found out is that the Midwest is dealing. I don't know if this is what it is.
Sammi: It could just be like I'm fighting off something low level for the whole week.
Steve: hmm. The mid the Midwest is in retrograde. What's what's going on?
Sammi: Well, barometric pressure.
Steve: Hmm.
Sammi: Did you hear? We're experiencing like very low levels of barometric pressure and that can really mess you up.
Steve: Okay.
Sammi: It can cause sinus congestion. It can cause headaches. It can cause like joint pain. And I think like some tiredness as well.
Steve: Oh.
Sammi: And i got a headache at the beginning of the week and I was like, I never get headaches like ever, ever, ever. And I'm like, why am I getting a headache?
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: And it was like on and the side of my head, it was like really weird. And I was like, I don't feel great. And I've just been like laying down a lot. And I'm like, I can get work done if I like clear out my sinuses and, you know, then and like drink some hot beverages and then I feel clearer.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: But outside of that, I'm like, I just need to lay down. And then I mean, it could also be going into midterms. being sleep deprived and catching up on sleep debt, all kinds of things.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: um But I don't know. If you've been feeling weird and you live in the Midwest, it could be the barometric pressure. That's all I'm saying.
Steve: Very possible. Very possible.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: Or maybe you're just a lazy piece of shit like me. Who knows?
Sammi: oh Oh, I thought you were going call me a lazy piece of shit.
Steve: Impossible to say. No, no.
Sammi: And i was like, okay.
Steve: Sammy is the opposite of a lazy piece of shit. I...
Sammi: But that's what makes it so hard. you know I'm like, I don't want to be a lazy piece of shit. I want to get things done.
Steve: No, you I think you're doing great.
Sammi: But
Steve: I mean, I had an extra 30 minutes because you were like, I got i gotta to get spruced up for the podcast. And ah you know what a ah responsible, normal person would have done? They would have gotten spruced up themselves. But here I am, unshowered, unclean, ah got the nice sweater on, but don't get it twisted.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: I wore this yesterday. And the pants, why they're sweatpants, but you can't see those. So, no.
Sammi: The reveal. ah like you We wouldn't have known. I was like, well, you look put together because your sweater looks nice. It's just like Zoom lipstick.
Steve: Exactly.
Sammi: I put on Zoom lipstick and people think I'm put together.
Steve: were say it's We're all about radical honesty here on the podcast.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: so ah if if we if we are I just like saying it because it's like white girls who buy shit from fucking home goods say it.
Sammi: I hate that term, but...
Steve: And yes, my radical honesty is I and i don't take care of myself.
Sammi: That's so funny.
Steve: Or get dressed up for the podcast.
Sammi: um But you're getting you're getting your nails done and I just got my nails done yesterday.
Steve: Oh.
Sammi: So we have to show them and hopefully it'll be the thumbnail.
Steve: oh
Sammi: Hold on. Can you tell what that is? Wait.
Steve: where we did Yeah, focus me in like it's a ah ah no, I can't tell.
Sammi: Can you tell?
Steve: what Are they like jelly beans?
Sammi: Okay, hold on.
Steve: what's what's go are this Is this Easter themed?
Sammi: Hold on. It's well, think a little harder. Oh gosh. I need to like back. Okay. There we go. Can you tell they're lucky charms?
Steve: I can't. Oh!
Sammi: They're lucky charms. Marshmallows.
Steve: Okay, now I can see it.
Sammi: God, you can't, they're too fuzzy.
Steve: Now I can see it. Yes.
Sammi: Okay. There you can kind of see it.
Steve: Yeah, I can see it.
Sammi: I was so excited. I was like, we're doing lucky charms for a March. We're going to really play in the faces of all those people that drink green beers, I guess.
Steve: you
Sammi: Um, yeah,
Steve: And I'm getting a pedicure because I'm on my never-ending quest to convince straight men that they should get regular pedicures. Like, this is...
Sammi: pedicures are great.
Steve: This is what I do, man. Anytime i i like run into like a group of women at work and I know they all have husbands or boyfriends or whatever, I'm like, ladies, stand around here. Let's let's talk. Let's talk for a minute.
Steve: Get you get your boys toes taken care of. OK, because dudes do not take care of their toes.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: And then also when men clip their tone, and like every once a while, like it's usually someone has to tell them and be like, OK, it's it's time.
Sammi: Mm-mm.
Steve: And then they do, but then the way that men, we naturally, as a straight men clip our toenails, is ah we we clip them into raptor talons, like to a point, because you do like one side and the other side, and you don't really think about how it's going to grow out.
Sammi: Oh.
Steve: and and then And then men start growing evil talons, which we don't like. ah So yeah, co get ah go get a pedicure, gentlemen of the world. It's okay.
Sammi: Yeah, go get a pedicure.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: I mean, my feet are always like so busted because I hike and, you know, do 50 mile walks.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: So like I come in and I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry in advance for what you have to do to my feet to make them normal.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: But I do go in regularly to get pedicure so that like they don't look too horrific.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: um But I got to say.
Steve: Meanwhile, I have toes like an Egyptian prince where it's like, oh, if if I don't have to like touch the ground or remove my slippers at any point during the day, that's that's a big win for me. So.
Sammi: See, that's like, see, it's so funny.
Steve: Mm hmm. ah
Sammi: Yeah, because my my my feet are like rough and tumble, you know, like, you know, I'm like, if I could go everywhere barefoot, I wouldn't.
Steve: the
Sammi: But i maybe I'd consider, I like being barefoot outside and stuff like that, like, you know, in the grass and and and stuff like that. Um, but my, yeah, my husband's feet are so soft.
Sammi: I, I'm like, I'm like, it just, it's, yeah, it's like, it's like, you know, if your hands have like like never done manual labor, that's what his feet feel like.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: I'm just like, how are they so soft?
Steve: Yeah.
Steve: Oh, me and Tuck at the same level.
Sammi: How like you're just you're just doing nothing. But he like walks around all day like he works all day and he's on his feet constantly.
Steve: That's it. Mm-mm.
Sammi: And he has really nice work shoes. Maybe that's part of it. But I'm just like, I don't understand how because, yeah, my feet. It's like I just think about walking and I get a callus.
Sammi: It's like, forget about it.
Steve: No, i don't I don't do any of that.
Sammi: So I don't know. He has like very wonderful muscles.
Steve: i I want to be one of those like, like delicious animals that has never felt like the plow on their back in the field. Like I just no muscle, just just soft tissue and and nothing else.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: That's me. Yeah.
Sammi: It's just so funny. Yeah. So like, yeah, I come in and I'm like, I'm about to give you some work, you know, and, but then they come out looking nice.
Steve: Mm hmm.
Sammi: Like that's the good thing. But yeah, it's just so funny. Like more, more men should get pedicures. I totally agree.
Steve: Yeah, men get pedicures.
Sammi: Everyone should get pedicures.
Steve: Everyone get a pedicure.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: Yeah, take care yourself.
Sammi: Yeah. Go, go treat yourself.
Steve: It's nice. Uh-huh.
Sammi: It's so nice. um But yeah. Okay. So this is what I think is funny. So we're at, we're at hometowns already. And yes, we have confirmed that this is like one of the fastest trajectories to hometowns ever.
Steve: Super accelerated, yeah.
Sammi: I also love like Grant's little baby suitcase. Sorry, i interrupted something you were about to launch into.
Steve: No, no, it's fine. He does have a little baby suitcase, but when you're when you're jet setting around at light speed to find your forever partner, yeah, you don't you don't need a big suitcase, I guess.
Sammi: was so cute.
Sammi: Got a travel light. Yeah.
Steve: So, I mean, the four we have for hometowns, I don't think anyone could have ever predicted this. This this didn't seem likely to anyone, ah except for me, because I said from week one Zoe's going to win.
Steve: So ah stick it with that.
Sammi: you still think Zoe's gonna win?
Steve: Zoe's going to win.
Sammi: Hmm.
Steve: She has to, yes, because I said it very early on and my early predictions never come true. And this one has somehow just carried me this far. She's literally like, oh, she doesn't get a one-on-one day, but she gets all the way to hometowns just because she's hot. Do you have any idea how hot she has to be?
Steve: to do that. Like, that's just like surface of the sun.
Sammi: You know that she's like way she's like she's very pretty on camera, but you know that she's like probably so stunning in real life.
Steve: Like.
Steve: Mm hmm.
Steve: Oh my God.
Sammi: You know what I mean?
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: Like, yeah.
Steve: Yeah. This is what I always say. Like, even when we're being catty and we're just like taking pot shots at whoever or whatever.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: And by we, I mean, mostly me, ah the thing you have to remember, and I've said this on episodes before, and I will continue to say it.
Sammi: Mostly you.
Steve: ah If you are somehow like, you know, the least attractive person on the bachelor to me, ah you are still so hot that you would not even give me the time of day. So it's fine.
Steve: Like it's, it's all right.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: ah But yeah, Zoe is just like, if she made eye contact with me in a public space, I would soil myself. Like that's the level she's got to be at. So ah where are your diapers boys?
Sammi: Jeez Louise. Okay. oh
Steve: Just because, and, and this is,
Sammi: let's That's just going in a weird direction today.
Steve: this but this is this is reflect But this is reflective of her status on the show because, again, like how much actual quality time has Grant had with her?
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: Almost nothing. And his excuse is is like, well, just a conversation can mean everything.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: And it's just like, bro, I've heard your conversations. I don't think that's what it is. She's literally just that hot. And that's fine. ah But you can't be that that honest on The Bachelor. Yeah.
Sammi: Yeah, but I think i think he's also like probably was trained by producers to say all it takes is a conversation because they're giving him no time.
Steve: Yeah, because actually all he's had is conversations.
Sammi: So they probably like drilled that into him. Yeah, they're like they're like, listen, you got to rely on the conversations to keep things going because otherwise, you know, you're doomed.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: You're you're not going to get to know any of these women. Now, okay, I still think, i in my opinion, I think Juliana's going to win it. That's my opinion. But that could be them making me think that.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: um but But the things in Zoe's favor on this episode in particular, how closely does her trajectory have to mirror Courtney's for us not to take that as a sign?
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: Like it feels completely on purpose at this point.
Steve: yeah
Sammi: Like she was Zoe's approach is very different from Courtney's, but um the reception she received from the women is the same where she did like maneuver extra time with Grant, despite not having one-on-one.
Sammi: So I think that was like a big thing in her advantage because otherwise she could have, not that she could have blended into the background, but yeah,
Steve: no
Sammi: she could have gotten lost in the group dates if she hadn't done that. Like, so she knew that that was, um well, she just wanted to spend more time with him.
Steve: Totally.
Sammi: And she's like, I don't see why not. And anyone else could. And then she like flipped the rules and was like, well, but if she does it, I don't like it then I was like, don't do that. um
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: But outside of that, you know, like she's getting ah unnecessary, unnecessary hatred from like the women in the house, just like Courtney did.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: I mean, Courtney's approach was a little more, Yeah, like out in the open and just like, whatever, like you hate me.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: That's fine. um But it's similar. And then it the similarities continue when they get to hometowns and she's like, we're going to do a ah wedding date.
Sammi: And I was like, this is exactly, I mean, not exactly what Courtney did in hometowns, but basically what Courtney did in hometowns where they like had a pretend wedding.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: And so they're like, we're going to do an engagement shoot.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: We're going to do this bridal shoot. And so I'm like, God, are they, is this a callback? to Courtney or am I just, it's top of mind. So I'm thinking about it, but I just thought, you know, it's like they're both models. They've done bridal shoots, you know, and then they're doing this shoot for the brides magazine. I was like, this is kind of, know,
Sammi: interesting and a little bizarre, just saying.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: um But before we get there, okay, this was not surprising at all, I think. So the Juliana hometown date, they have like ridiculous physical chemistry.
Sammi: Obviously now it's like, well, we got to explore the other stuff and whatever.
Steve: yeah
Sammi: and And they're they're in ah Newton, Massachusetts. And apparently everybody knows the Pascarosa family and in And they're like, Jules! You hear someone like from the street like yelling at her and whatever.
Steve: Yeah. Real Jersey Shore energy coming at us right now.
Sammi: And then... Yeah, she goes into a pizza place and he's like, who's this guy? ah
Steve: Hey, you some pies?
Sammi: Oh, you're the one who swished her away! You swished her away!
Steve: little sauce, little gravy? Yeah.
Sammi: So that was kind of fun. um So they go to this pizza place and they're like, we're going to teach you how to make the pies. And um and then Juliana does not tie her hair back the entire time. And it just freaks me out.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: um I'm just like, it just seems like a food safety violation.
Steve: Is that safe serve compliant?
Sammi: Yeah. I'm like, where's the inspector in this little pizza establishment?
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: um But yeah, so they so they like make these kind of shitty looking pizzas that are heart-shaped. And they go and get flowers and they get cannoli. And it's like very Italian hangout.
Sammi: ah There you go.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: Yes. It's funny because when I get my nail son, my nail tech goes, now do Italian hands when we have to dry the thumb.
Steve: Oh yeah.
Sammi: So she'll go, she'll go, Italian hands to me. And I go,
Steve: Da da da da da. Yeah, that's great.
Sammi: It just makes sense. It just makes sense.
Steve: It does.
Sammi: um So, yeah. So and then basically, Julianna is like, OK, I've only ever brought one man home. ah And by the way, you're going to meet literally every single person in my family tonight.
Steve: Oh, which is an Italian family.
Sammi: So no pressure.
Steve: So that's like two thirds of the East Coast, essentially.
Sammi: Yeah. She's like, no pressure. You're just going to meet about 50 people. It's going to be low key, casual, you know, chill, whatever. um But I knew this was going to happen. They were like, they're going to make Juliana's dad look like big, tough, mean Italian guy.
Sammi: And then he's going to be like the so sweetest man on the planet.
Steve: Oh, yeah.
Steve: Well, and they totally do this in the preview, too.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: Like, they give him, like, the Tony Soprano edit in the preview.
Sammi: yeah He's like, oh, you're trying to get with my daughter? Yeah.
Steve: He's like, oh, so you're dating my daughter, are you?
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: And then, like, that's where they cut it off in the preview. And then you get to the episode, he's like, you're dating my daughter, aren't Because I love that. I think you're a really nice guy.
Sammi: Yeah, like he's like, oh, she's fake he's fantastic.
Steve: Like, it's... Yeah.
Sammi: I love him. Yeah. And it was just like, ah and he's like, and he was like, I want my kids to learn how to be introspective.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: And I was like, wow, an evolved king. We love it. um And then they zoom in on this like meditating dog statue.
Steve: It's really good stuff.
Sammi: And then, yeah. And then, and he's just like, I love the guy. um So everything goes really, really well with her ginormous family. Everybody likes Grant.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: There is not an issue. um You know, he lived in New York for a while. or Like he grew up in New York. Right. And so they're in Massachusetts.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: It's not too far. He's like, Oh, I like this kind of small town vibe. I like, ah you know, this whole like East coast thing. So I feel like even though he would be moving, I don't I would guess he would move from Houston.
Sammi: I think he'd be fine with it. And it's not like he's an office to go to. So it would be totally fine.
Steve: No, he's a day trader. He just sits around his underwear all day.
Sammi: Yeah. So yeah, he's like, this is great. Like, and you're going to feed me every day. This is awesome. This family is cool.
Steve: ah
Sammi: um So that was easy. And then he said to Juliana, he was falling for her and she said falling in love. So now we kind of know the status of where they're at.
Steve: Exactly.
Sammi: Yeah. And then we get Zoe's date. And so, i yeah, I don't have a lot to say. i think it's gonna be a short episode, but who knows? We'll probably add a bunch of random shit ah throughout because we do have some Bachelor Nation news that's huge.
Sammi: We got to talk about um But OK, so we're in New York and we're it's home to Zoe, even though she hasn't grown up here. And then I wrote she looks stunning. ah ah So she came to.
Sammi: So this is interesting. We get a little more Zoe lore. She came to and NYC for a tech career, but then she got into modeling because there's nothing she can't do because she's basically Barbie.
Steve: Yeah, I'm hot, I'm smart, I'm cosmopolitan, yeah, everything.
Sammi: Yeah. Yeah. And then, yeah. And then I wrote, she's going to do a bride session, Courtney much. um But this was kind of interesting because Grant is like this wife guy who doesn't have a wife yet, as you mentioned last week.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: ah But then he was like, I feel kind of weird about these engagement photos, you know.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: And then they go all the way up to wearing like wedding attire. um And I mean, I think the big part of this date was just like Zoe showing Grant her chosen family.
Sammi: And because her, like, it sounds like she doesn't really talk to her adoptive parents. And we didn't get a ton of detail there, but it was just like, okay, this is... you know This is her chosen family. Oh, I wrote down that her uncle is a cutie patootie.
Sammi: That was one of my notes. um So yeah, her aunt and uncle are so super sweet. like there're They're also the nicest.
Steve: Yep.
Sammi: um And also everyone in her chosen family is beautiful.
Steve: Yep.
Sammi: So I also took note of that. I was like, wow, everybody here is gorgeous. And her uncle is so cute.
Steve: Yep.
Sammi: um And then the aunt said something like, I don't want to see her heart get shattered because, oh my goodness, enough with that. And I just, I love her too.
Steve: Enough with it.
Sammi: And then, um and then her sister, um she was talking to her sister and she's like, well, he let you shine. So that's what I noticed. And you know, the dynamic. So They're all like very into ah Grant as well. Like they're like, yeah, this is good. We like this. This is going in a good direction.
Sammi: um And, you know, there was like this conversation about Zoe, like holding back and saying, OK, well, this really like strengthened things for me and like we're getting to like the next phase.
Steve: who
Sammi: So it was a very good date for her all around.
Steve: Yeah, it was solid. It was really good. And... I like her date as a contrast to Dina's hometown because ah from, from one chosen family to another, i think it's, it's such a different vibe and dynamic, but also we can tell who the producers are siding with between the two of them.
Sammi: Yes.
Sammi: Yes.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: Yeah, because it's like it could have yeah it couldve gone the same way. I mean, one thing that's interesting is it wasn't necessarily... I think the difference is, too, that it was Zoe's choice not to have certain members of her family on the show because because of how her life
Steve: Yeah, yeah.
Sammi: is right now and who she's spending time with. So she was like, these are the people who are closest to me and you're meeting them. That's not necessarily what happened with Dina because it sounds like Dina would have wanted her family to be on the show or at least some of her family.
Steve: No.
Steve: Winterfell is like, ah, no, not going to do that.
Sammi: Yeah. And they were like, no, that's off brand or whatever. So...
Steve: Yeah, which which again, we talk about this all the time. There's so many things in the world of The Bachelor that are normalized. But if you were to take it in like real world context, you'd be like, yeah, that's really fucking weird.
Steve: And so, yeah if if I had a daughter and she's just like, hi, I'm going to bring my boyfriend to Chicago, who is also the boyfriend of three other women, and you got to meet him and be on TV, I'd be like, fuck no.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: Which is a normal response, but not in Bachelor world.
Sammi: Right. It's like you have to say yes and then they're going to either like if your house looks good enough, they'll go to your house.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: Otherwise, they'll go to some random place or they'll put shit in your house and it's going to be a weird experience for everybody.
Steve: Yeah. And then if you're, if you're the producers and you know, Dina's family is not making your life easier and they're not giving you a story like with Zoe, where it's just like, yeah, my adopted parents and there's a strain there.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: So we're meeting my chosen family. Like, Ooh, intrigue.
Sammi: Mm hmm.
Steve: How cool with Dina though. It's just like, no, our parents just said no. And then production's, if you're like, well, fuck you. Like, and then you get into grants here and you go, Oh, her parents don't want to meet you. They actively made this choice.
Steve: Like is, is,
Sammi: They don't approve of you. Yeah.
Steve: Do they not approve of you? Do they, you know, are they really invested? And she couldn't convince them. And is she invested?
Sammi: Mm-hmm.
Steve: Like there's all kinds of little things you can plant in his head. So the moment that we're just like at the Chicago Harvest Festival and like Dina's six favorite like business girlies are with her.
Steve: I'm like, girl, you're cooked. You're done.
Sammi: Yeah, yeah, it was it was maybe the kiss of death for sure. So, um yeah, I mean, I think it's really interesting.
Steve: hmm.
Sammi: Oh, the other thing I wanted to mention um about Zoe is and I'm looking at an ah Entertainment Weekly recap. I forgot that Grant did this thing where he was like, this is like and this is falling in love and I'm kind of like in the middle.
Sammi: ah with Zoe so so not as not as positive as like Juliana's date by any means but but again there's room to grow there's room to grow um but yeah Zoe doesn't say like I'm falling for you or anything like that so Juliana like declared it so that's just again one of these days all'll I'll do arts and crafts it'll probably be over the summer though so like don't get excited I'm too busy
Steve: Sure. Sure.
Steve: yeah
Steve: No.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: um But I do want to like graph these things because I think it is important.
Steve: Well, and and you know, the key to unlocking who the winner is going to be without just reading like reality Steve spoilers, I guess, is you have to you have to look at the breadcrumbs that he's given us, which is Party Girl, his hit single.
Sammi: Yeah.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: So who is the titular Party Girl? Is it Juliana? Is is this party at a Buca di Beppo? Or is it Zoe? I don't know.
Sammi: Interesting. You really think that Party Girl is about the winner?
Steve: I would have I mean, who is who is his girl at the time of writing Party Girl?
Sammi: i
Sammi: i thought i thought it was like, hmm. I kind of read it as like a, well, hold on. Let me look at the lyrics. Because
Steve: Mm hmm. We're going to we're going to do a critical reading of the lyrics of Party Girl to figure out who the winner of of this season is.
Sammi: I thought was, hmm.
Steve: Yeah, because if there's a line that's like she likes spaghetti even more than me, then we'll know.
Sammi: Interesting. I didn't think about that at all.
Steve: But if it's just generic, just like my party girl is really hot and I don't know her, but she's hot. Then we know it's Zoe. See?
Sammi: I thought, I thought, okay, when I started listening to it, it didn't seem like it was complimentary is my point. But I maybe need to like listen to it again.
Steve: you Also, you you recognize here that I'm like clearly leaving out one of the third finalists because she can't be counted as a party girl.
Sammi: Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, yeah. okay wait no this is a different song this is a very different song um okay i'll have to i'll have to look at the i'll have to look at the lyrics closer um it wasn't just any song wait hold on okay there's a there's a blog called the the things.com very um detailed uh i will share this um lyrics okay So they say, the yeah, the lyrics describe a woman who enjoys partying and the nightlife, but all her partying proves to be a major setback for her significant other.
Steve: Mm-hmm. Mm.
Sammi: That's what I thought. I was like, I don't think this sounded like someone that he what didn't end up with.
Steve: Oh, okay.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: So then maybe maybe we have to look at it differently.
Sammi: I was going to say party girl, you know, like derogatory.
Steve: Whereas party girl is the girl he didn't choose.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: Okay. Maybe he did choose. Let's see Maybe this is we're fusing the secret lies of Mormon wives with the bachelor. It becomes one.
Sammi: It could also have been like way before The Bachelor and you just decided to release it at that time.
Steve: Also true. Also true.
Sammi: That's kind of what I think.
Steve: Um, No, I like really, really dumb, silly theories. So yeah, I believe we're we're seeing the fusion of the secret lives of Mormon wives and the bachelor. It's like in the fly when they, when, you know, they have the two little, the transporter machines and then the fly and Jeff Goldblum get mushed together.
Sammi: hu
Steve: That's going to be what happens. That's the only solution.
Sammi: Wow. Okay.
Steve: Mormons are the future. Yeah.
Sammi: I'm so scared.
Steve: Like, it's the prologue to Terminator 2, but it's just Mormons.
Sammi: ah
Sammi: Well, I mean, it's already happening.
Steve: Yeah, it's already...
Sammi: So it's, we have, I mean, for a long time.
Steve: had we've been We've been fully Mormified.
Sammi: Okay.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: But listen, if it means I get swag, I'm okay with it.
Steve: Yeah, I'm fine with it, too.
Sammi: I'm not really that okay with it I'm a little okay with it.
Steve: i If I don't have a Dr. Pepper with coconut cream in it stat, I'm going to lose my damn mind.
Sammi: Yeah. I want to try swag. Okay.
Steve: Yeah, give us Swig.
Sammi: That's what I want.
Steve: Don't make me go to Utah because I i won't. I'm not...
Sammi: Oh, gosh. Now I'm like, where are where is the closest swig to me? Maybe there's new ones that have opened since the they said, hold on to your straw. We're carbonating our way to your closest swig location.
Sammi: And it's an empty map. So that doesn't bode well for me.
Steve: o
Steve: I just wish i wish there was one in the Salt Lake City airport because I i go through there enough ah for work where, you know, ah I haven't seen it.
Sammi: Sorry.
Sammi: There isn't one in the South Lake City airport?
Steve: It's a very nice airport.
Sammi: um Oh, okay. Well, Kansas City is the closest to me.
Steve: Okay.
Sammi: Yeah, i would I would guess Indianapolis may be the closest to you. There's quite a few in Indy.
Steve: Yeah. There's one in Indianapolis? I'm going to be there soon.
Sammi: There's like two.
Steve: oh my God.
Sammi: There's, wait, three. There's at least three in Indy.
Steve: Okay. I have to go to Indy for work like sooner rather than later, so maybe I'll do a ah Steve on the Street swig video.
Sammi: They're in like, they're like in three parts of Indy. Like there's one kind of close to Carmel and then there's one close to Cumberland and there's one close to South Point.
Steve: Oh my god, yeah.
Steve: Okay, so they're all suburban. I'm looking at them now.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: Okay.
Sammi: They're all suburban. Yeah. But Indy's so small.
Steve: Oh, the Caramel one? i
Sammi: it's so easy to drive places.
Steve: I'm hitting that shit.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: Yeah, okay, so I'm going to Carmel, Indiana. I'm doing a full SWIG review.
Sammi: I'm so excited.
Steve: We're going to do it.
Sammi: oh this is going to be so fun.
Steve: Yeah, this is going to happen.
Sammi: Okay.
Steve: Yeah, sometime in the next month or two, you guys are going to get this.
Sammi: Well, next time I go to Kansas city,
Steve: Hot video content.
Sammi: whenever I go to Kansas city, I'll i'll get it. I promise. Cause I know I'll go back to Kansas city, but it won't be like soon. So you can give us the first swag review. I'm glad I looked this up now.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: um Cause they're just, yeah, there's like, not like you look at the Northern Midwest. It's like, yeah, no, you don't get to have one of those.
Steve: No. you don't get the You don't get the soda place, sorry.
Sammi: Yeah, sorry. You just, that's not for you. um Which is fine. I get it. I mean, at least we have Sonic. I don't know.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: um Okay. so So, all right. So now we're at, yeah, Latia State. So if we didn't know Latia was like, came from a rich family, we sure know now.
Sammi: Because she's got one of those like Wyoming ranches.
Steve: Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.
Sammi: Do Wyoming ranches scare you as much as they scare me?
Steve: Yeah, I don't like them.
Sammi: They scare
Steve: lot of lot of places to hide my body there.
Sammi: It's just every time I see a Wyoming ranch, I go, I'm in danger.
Steve: Yep, yep.
Sammi: This is not this is not this is not feel safe. um You know, it's like those influencers who are like, oh, yeah, little place in Jackson Hole and it's like 100 acres and.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: just the vibes are off. You know what I'm saying?
Steve: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Sammi: That's all I'll say about that. It's very Wyoming in general. It's funny because we were just talking about like Mormon culture in Salt Lake City, Utah. Now I'm like, but Wyoming, I mean, really Utah too, but Wyoming scares me a little bit.
Steve: Mm-hmm. Mm-mm. Uh-uh. Yeah.
Sammi: Um, but she's like, this is home for me, but I will say her family seems very sweet. So I'm just being a jerk.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: Um, but, uh, oh, I said, I said, Grant says, I'm not worried about you being Mormon in a really worried way.
Steve: I would be...
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: what i mean
Sammi: He's like, I don't know lot about this, but I think it's fine. But now I'm at a place that kind of feels like a compound.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: Uh, so I'm not so sure, but I think it's probably fine.
Steve: This is like like relationship blinders optimism where like you really like someone and then there's this thing about them.
Sammi: question mark yeah
Sammi: to
Steve: like Maybe they're a Mormon and you're just not religious. And you're like, I could make it work. I could see how this would go. you know And then you're like, oh, oh shit.
Steve: like that That's a regret you're going to have in three to six months, buddy.
Sammi: yeah this is like
Steve: like You might as well just forget it now.
Sammi: I think I've mentioned this on the podcast before, but like, you know, for me, I don't know. There's a lot of stuff that is a deal breaker for me. You know, I'm like, you don't vote deal breaker.
Steve: new
Sammi: ah You don't like dogs deal breaker. You, yeah. You don't like goat cheese. Probably a deal breaker, to be honest with me at this point, it's a deal breaker.
Steve: Probably a deal breaker. Yeah.
Sammi: There's like, ah and so I'm just like, I can't imagine going as far as like, know, Yeah. Like, oh, you're a Mormon? Hmm. Okay.
Steve: ah
Sammi: Hmm.
Steve: Doesn't doesn't really jive with my religious beliefs.
Sammi: Hmm.
Steve: And on top of that, it's just like, OK, you're you're a black man with piercings and tattoos who enjoys premarital sex. um All those things. Not not great, especially.
Steve: i mean, there's there's some real questionable shit.
Sammi: You mean not great in the eyes of the Mormon church.
Steve: in the In the eyes of the Mormon church, yeah. In the eyes of Steve, wonderful, wonderful.
Sammi: in In everyday life, totally fine.
Steve: Very good for me.
Sammi: I was like...
Steve: And presumably, Sammy, I'm not going to speak on her behalf, but... No,
Sammi: No, I don't have any. I'm not going to go get two piercings today.
Steve: no no, you would never.
Sammi: That's not happening. i am We're not planning to hit up a tattoo parlor on vacation either, probably.
Steve: Yeah.
Steve: Yeah, and and I mean...
Sammi: Those are not things that we would ever... I would never do that in a million years. Yeah.
Steve: And you don't you don't have to dip your toes too deep into like weird Mormon shit to see that like there is some very, very, very like ah just fucked up race issues that they have.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: So.
Sammi: Yeah. It's really, really weird, bad stuff.
Steve: Which, yeah, weird, bad stuff. And I don't think they would be explicit about that. Obviously, there are people who are black and Mormon and that's fine. But. ah like that's a whole thing that they're not even going to get into, but even just knowing like the basic stuff, like, Hey, you've got all these things that they automatically are not going to be a big fan of.
Sammi: Mm hmm.
Steve: And you're not part of the church. And then they're going to be like, well, are you going to convert to the church? Because if he's like, no, well then that's a whole thing.
Sammi: Right.
Steve: There's just, there's no way. It's not like someone's Catholic and someone's Luther. Like it's not the end of the fucking world.
Sammi: Right.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: Listen, my parents.
Steve: Yeah. That's okay. what ah One side likes robes and stained glass.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: The other side likes ah airing their grievances by nailing them to the door. It's fine. They get over it.
Sammi: It's fine.
Steve: In 21st century America, this is how we do things.
Sammi: It's really. Yeah. Yeah.
Steve: But, but, but the the Mormon church, not so much, I don't think.
Sammi: Yeah, it's very different. It's a very different type of experience. And it depends. It seems like, I mean, it's not like um a casual connection or my parents are in it.
Sammi: It's obviously something that's very important to Latia and very important to her family.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: And they seem quite ingrained in it. And that is a big difference as well. I know we've talked about this before, but I mean, it I guess it bears repeating. So, yeah, I mean...
Sammi: And they and the the thing that's interesting, and I'm sure this happens in other, you know, like Christian mega churches and and things like that or whatever that, you know, are very against like secular.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: Like I remember the first time when I was in school, like I was in high school and I was like dating this guy who was like way more conservative than I was, which is weird for me to think about now.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: Um, and I like went to some of his like church stuff and they'd be, and like, I would run into high schoolers who'd be like, well, I don't listen to secular music. And I was like, I literally don't even know what that is, you know?
Sammi: And I was like a regular church goer.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: I was like, I don't know what you're talking about, you know? and then it's like, it was like Jesus camp. Like, by the way, that's my favorite documentary of all time. If you haven't watched Jesus camp, you need to, I've watched it 25 times.
Steve: Good one.
Sammi: That's not an exaggeration. Anytime I need a little pick me up, I watch Jesus Camp and it explains everything that's happening everywhere today. So just just so you know, um it's not uplifting at all.
Steve: Good one.
Sammi: It's actually kind of a bummer. But for some reason, it's my comfort watch. But I remember just I was just like, what do you mean secular? You know, and it's like when when you create these I mean, in Catholicism, it's like, ah you know,
Sammi: to a lesser extent, but it still happens. It's like when you create these really strict rules of like, this is a sin, this is unforgivable, like this is something that is not allowed.
Steve: Yeah,
Sammi: um I'm not saying this happens in every religion. There are religions where where I feel like the skirting of the rules is not the norm, um where people are more like...
Steve: yeah.
Sammi: adherent to them But for some reason, in the Mormon faith and in Catholicism to a certain degree, there's just like, but I feel like with Mormons in particular, there's like this big ah social media culture around how can we not break the rules but still break rules.
Sammi: the rules.
Steve: still what we want to do.
Sammi: How can we get walk to the line and not cross it, but maybe walk around and cross a different line? and All that shit is so bizarre. and It's like if you find yourself having to do all of these things to stay in the faith that you're part of,
Sammi: and you're like making all of these rationalizations for why it's okay it's like i don't know it's very much giving like my ex being like well this doesn't count as cheating because of this technicality and i'm like okay i think you're just splitting hairs at this point you know so like when they're like you know when you find out what soaking is you're like jesus christ like just do normal the adult things
Steve: Yeah. hu
Steve: Yeah.
Steve: Yeah. Don't be weird about it.
Sammi: Like, you know, or like, ah now, I don't know what religion this is. I think it's just kind of like non-denominational Christian. Are you familiar? Oh, God, what's the name of the college? Now I'm going to forget it. Is it Liberty College?
Steve: Liberty or Hillsdale. Probably one of those the two big ones.
Sammi: You know what I'm talking about? Where they have like, um they have all these rules. Like, um yeah, they have like this suit.
Steve: ah There's another one.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: There's like it's like Bob Jones or something. That's the I think that's the other one. But yeah, same thing.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: is just like you you can't wear short sleeves unless you're doing a physical activity or something. You know, things like that.
Sammi: Yeah, they have like the wildest rules. I think it is Liberty where it's just like um there's like a curfew. i'm trying to find that. um there I think it's Liberty. I'm pretty sure where they have like the curfew.
Sammi: They have like Yeah, like there's certain clothes that you're not supposed to be wearing. There's like all this stuff that they're not allowed to do. um It's just wild. And then it's like you you end like there's people that go around and like interview these students and like ask them questions, try to like trip them up a little bit.
Sammi: I don't know what's like, you know, fake or whatever. But it's interesting because they'll ask questions about like, you know, like, well, what's your favorite drink?
Steve: Sure.
Sammi: You know, and they'll and you'll see them get close to answering real.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: And then they're like, ah Diet Coke. It's Diet Coke.
Steve: yeah
Sammi: Yeah, it's totally Diet Coke or whatever.
Steve: Oh, yeah.
Sammi: Yeah, yeah. But yeah, they're like, yeah, the they're not allowed to. um Okay, so here's some of the points. This is on an atheism Reddit of all places.
Sammi: um But you can get these points. Yeah, this is the Jerry Falwell school. I'm like, I was pretty sure it was Liberty.
Steve: oh yeah
Sammi: um If you're late to curfew, you get like one point off and then one additional point for every 30 minutes late. They have convocation, you get points off for being 15 minutes late. um If you have dress or hair code violations, that's like four points.
Sammi: If you do anything beyond hand-holding, it's four points.
Steve: Mmm.
Sammi: They also have a music code violation. I bet it's secular music, four points. um If you're out of residence halls after curfew, four points. um ah If you gamble, it's six points.
Sammi: um This is an interesting one.
Steve: Mmm.
Sammi: Attendance at a dance, six points.
Steve: Oh.
Sammi: Because this is the school from Footloose. um
Steve: Of course.
Sammi: If you view R-rated movie or attend or own an R-rated movie, mind you, you're an adult, 12 points and a $50 fine.
Steve: yeah o Wow.
Sammi: I would have been doomed. um
Sammi: ah Let's see. Entering the residence hallway, quad, or on-campus apartment of the opposite sex, or allowing the same. 12 points. they put that at the same They put that at the same level as cheating on a quiz
Steve: That makes perfect sense.
Sammi: If you're associated with someone who consumes alcohol, 18 points in a $250 fine and 18 hours disciplinary community service.
Steve: Jesus.
Sammi: If you just know someone who drinks, you're out of there. It's wild stuff.
Steve: so
Sammi: Yeah. Yeah.
Steve: That's crazy.
Sammi: It's totally weird. I mean, at least they also have violations for sexual harassment, but who knows how much they enforce that.
Steve: Probably not as often.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: Yeah. Yeah.
Sammi: Yeah, probably not as often. um Yeah, once you get to the higher offenses, I'm like, well, at least some of these are like good.
Steve: yeah
Sammi: But they consider spending the night with the person of the opposite sex to be at the same level as commission or conviction of a felony.
Steve: Wow.
Sammi: I am not lying.
Steve: That.
Sammi: 30 points and a $500 fine, 30 hours disciplinary community service and possible administrative withdrawal.
Steve: Oh, of course. Like what?
Sammi: Yeah. And whatever they consider immorality to be, whatever their definition of immorality is, is also on that.
Steve: Mm hmm.
Sammi: i Okay. Anyway, that was really interesting. So what I'm saying is when when students go to places like that, they're always like trying to find ways to skirt those rules. Listen, I went to like sober dorms. I know what happens. Okay.
Sammi: Maybe I know somebody who created an illegal, dangerous substance instead of drinking.
Steve: Ooh.
Sammi: So maybe you should just let people drink. That's what I'm saying.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: um Anyway, so moving on. um So, yeah, so it's it's a big, it's a it's a complete culture shift. Yeah, it's like I can go into a Catholic church and like do the thing and be like, I guess I kind of know what's going on.
Steve: Yeah.
Steve: yeah sure sure
Sammi: You know, it's like not that different, um but this would be very different. Now, I will say, yeah, her family is very sweet. Um, Latia also wants a very big family like Grant does. And that is quite the Mormon thing to want a big family.
Sammi: Um, so that is one thing that makes them very compatible.
Steve: mm-hmm
Sammi: um and I will say her grandpa is so sweet when, when he was talking about her dad, that was like the cutest thing ever. And he was like, I, you know, she's like, what did you accept my dad? Like he came from like a different, you know, background and all of that. And like, how did you feel?
Sammi: And he said, I never hesitated for a second, which maybe be is true. um But it was, you know, he was like, oh, what a rough deal that you only got him for three months. And yeah, that was like a really sweet moment.
Sammi: um I didn't really pay a lot of attention to this date because I just don't like you. I don't think it's really going to go anywhere.
Steve: no
Sammi: um But it was a pleasant date. um Grant tries to convince us that he's like a country guy. don't. I'm not sure. um
Steve: Everybody's kind of a country guy at this point. like Everything is just country music, right?
Sammi: Well, everything is, yeah, well, everything is trad wives and country music and fascism at this point um in in our in our cultural zeitgeist.
Steve: Yeah. but But even like pop music, it's like, it's it's hard to find traditional pop music that it just is what it is, you know?
Sammi: too
Sammi: Mm-hmm.
Steve: i guess like i maybe Sabrina Carpenter is the the only person who hasn't dipped her toes in yet, but also I'm sure she will. She's, you know, she just blew up, so...
Sammi: didn't she Didn't she sing with Dolly Parton just like a week ago or month ago or a week?
Steve: Well, there you go. And Chaperone is a new song. And guess what it sounds like? It's pop country. Like there's there's just no like all those lines are blurred. It sucks. Like everything is, you know, a 2004 big and rich song.
Steve: And it makes me sad.
Sammi: Listen, I don't have anything against Sabrina Carpenter singing with Dolly Parton, though.
Steve: No, that's fine.
Sammi: let's That's fine.
Steve: That's fine. But that but that is just an example.
Sammi: Anyone from the cast of 9 to 5 is safe and good.
Steve: Yeah, they're all they're OK. They're good.
Sammi: Okay, all three of them are good, great people to align with. So we're good with it.
Steve: Yeah, I don't want the entirety of the internet to come after me for, I'm not talking shit about Dolly Parton. She's wonderful.
Sammi: Yeah, I'm like, you better not.
Steve: But it it does illustrate.
Sammi: Her husband just died. You have to be nice to her.
Steve: I do have to be nice to her.
Sammi: what the hell is wrong with you?
Steve: ah But it just illustrates that like everything is is country music and it fucking blows. I'm sorry. like I know that Jelly Roll guy has a sad story, but I do not want to listen to him sing ever again in my entire life.
Sammi: do you Do you agree with people online who have said that a marker that we're hurtling towards this you know bleak reality is that Pete Davidson has gotten rid of all of his tattoos?
Steve: Yeah, that's probably true. and Like it's there's just yeah. and
Sammi: I mean, i'm it seems like he's doing mentally well and that's great.
Steve: Mm hmm.
Sammi: But also now people are like, see, tattoos are a sign of mental illness. And I'm like, okay, let's not. Okay. Making a you know rash decision and getting hundreds of tattoos and spending years curating the perfect Hank Scorpio tattoo.
Sammi: Okay.
Steve: hmm.
Sammi: That's not the same thing. It's different.
Steve: Yeah. And I like how even Pete, you sip your coffee.
Sammi: Okay. Okay.
Steve: I like how Pete Davidson was just like, yeah, you know how people will go and get like a tattoo laser off because it was just like a stupid decision. And it's just something dumb. He's like, all my tattoos were stupid decisions that were dumb.
Sammi: Right. I'm like, that doesn't mean that everyone who gets tattoos is like, okay, I'm getting one tattoo lasered off.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: I think I've talked about that on the podcast before.
Steve: hmm.
Sammi: I'm probably like one appointment away from being done.
Steve: Mm
Sammi: It took like three years. Okay.
Steve: hmm.
Sammi: And $3,000 for one tattoo.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: And I basically just wanted to get it light enough to like tattoo something else. Yeah.
Steve: who
Sammi: But now I'm like, well, I paid for the whole thing, so I'm just going to get it completely gone and I can deal with the appointments and it's whatever.
Steve: Yeah, might as well nuke it.
Sammi: But it is incredibly unpleasant. I also had like a bad reaction to a numbing cream where I couldn't feel my own skin. And then I had like this big sore and OK, trigger warning. It's gross.
Sammi: um Like a keloid now that I have had to treat outside of all my other treatments.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: Strongly don't recommend that. But out of like the, I don't know, 16, 17 tattoos, I've gotten the fact that there's only one that I was like, I regret it. And actually it was like religiously based. Yeah.
Sammi: is like, that's a sign, right? Like that. um Obviously, I think the rest of these through anyway, didn't mean to turn this into, but I think it's interesting. I'm just telling you to look out for that. Look out for people who are going to start um making comments like that, because that's dangerous. There's, there's, um oh God, what is it? There's this Trad Wife magazine.
Sammi: Um, that's trying to, ah masquerade as like a fashion, like it's like Vogue or Elle or something like that, but it's for trad wives. Uh, I should be doing this on incognito so I don't screw up my, um, search.
Steve: yeah You're going to get served some some weird ads.
Sammi: Okay. I'm like, please don't. Yeah. So basically, God, what is that called? Um, I'm going to find it real quick. Uh, what if magazine, ah Because basically, so they they had like this really big video go um viral on TikTok about um actors before and after veneers.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: And you look at it and you go, oh like that seems like a good thing, you know? Yeah. Like, oh, yeah, like Tom Welling. Yeah, his teeth were perfect.
Sammi: Yes, agreed. You know, and it's like one of those things that you go, oh maybe. oh yeah, here it is. You know, maybe that's just like an innocuous thing. Like you're just saying, oh, I like in the early 2000s when everybody wasn't getting veneers and like bad veneers and whatever.
Sammi: But it's coming. it's it's It's a trap because it's a thing that people like. And it's this trap to pull you into the alt-right pipeline. I am not joking at all.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: So look out for it.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: um This is Evie Magazine. Have you heard of Evie Magazine?
Steve: I have not. Wait, is that? oh okay. No, I do know what that is.
Sammi: They did the Ballerina Farms feature in November.
Steve: Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, I know what this is because, yeah, Masquerades is like normal, girly Housewife magazine, but that it's not that, right?
Sammi: Yeah.
Sammi: Yeah. um So I'm just telling you. So they've been trying to...
Steve: It's like Turning Point USA for Housewives.
Sammi: Yeah, they've been trying to trick people on TikTok by posting these videos that seem like kind of like a normal, innocuous thing.
Steve: yeah
Sammi: Like people have been talking about like the Candace Owens stuff that way, too. where And I almost like it's not like I fell in it or anything, but I did have a moment during Wicked where I was like, Ben Shapiro has a good point.
Sammi: You know, because he did. He did have a good point about Wicked. But you know what I didn't do? I didn't say, well, let's see what else he has to say about everything else. And let's see if he has more good points. No, because I know who Ben Shapiro is.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: And it doesn't. Listen, if someone reprehensible has one good point, they had one good point. And that is the end of the sentence.
Steve: out Broken clock, right?
Sammi: But.
Steve: Twice a day. And you do, in fact, sometimes gotta hand it to him, but, you know, that's...
Sammi: Yeah. I was like, he had a good opinion about how this wicked song should have gone at the end of the movie. I 100% agree with that. I literally disagree with every other thing he's ever said ever in existence ever. Okay.
Sammi: So ah you know, but that's how they ah like, in the words of my mother-in-law, that's how they get you. um You, you have this one thing that seems completely,
Sammi: ah like, I don't know, like uncontroversial. Like, yeah, a lot of celebrities are getting bad veneers and and it's changing the way that they look. and And, you know, yes, I miss the days when people looked, didn't resemble each other and and get this Instagram face. And like, I totally agree with that.
Sammi: Yes.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: I think, you know, but I mean, whatever makes you comfortable, whatever makes you feel beautiful or or handsome or or or attractive or whatever, or comfortable, I think it's totally fine. And everybody's entitled to to get work done and and do what makes them feel good. Like I have i have no qualms with that.
Sammi: But there is something very nostalgic about um tapping into like early 2000s faces because faces do look different now.
Sammi: It's it's true, you know.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: And so you look at that and you go, well, who would really have a problem with saying embrace your natural beauty? That seems like a very positive thing to say. um So this, I mean, when I looked at it, they had it had like 2 million likes.
Sammi: I mean, this was like a big video on TikTok. And if you didn't look at who it came from, but there was something when it came on my For You page, I was like, something about this feels like off and weird.
Sammi: So I didn't like it. And I was like,
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: I agree to a certain extent, but I also think it's weird commenting on specific people's teeth. It's kind of odd.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: You know, like there was just something of, you know, when people are like, let's look at the celebrity and see all the work they got done. I'm like, I feel weird watching these. I don't know. There's something like that's very voyeuristic about this that just makes me kind of uncomfortable.
Sammi: But I like the bigger conversation of if you're going to buy veneers, make sure you actually need them and make sure that they look natural, you know, and like,
Steve: No, I want to look like a chat GPT generated version of myself.
Sammi: You don't want something too big.
Steve: I want 50,000 teeth. Mm-hmm.
Sammi: Right. And now if you want to make fun of Matt Reif, do it because he is ripe for parody. um And boy, is he crashing out lately. But but
Steve: i love I love his crash out because it's just like, hey, what if you were a male stand up comic who literally against all historical precedents, your entire audience is young women who love you and find you wholesome.
Steve: And then once you make it really big, your ultimate pivot is to shit on them. Like that is the, it's the biggest self-sabotage.
Sammi: yeah
Steve: This is like the Simpsons gif of sideshow Bob just stepping on all the rakes and they're smacking him in the face repeatedly. Yeah. Matt, Matt Reif's entire trajectory is honestly, it's hilarious.
Steve: Maybe he's a better comedian than I give him credit for. Cause it's fucking funny to me.
Sammi: Well, and now he's like bleached his hair.
Steve: Ooh.
Sammi: It's just like cry for help.
Steve: o the ultimate bad boy move. Yeah, that is, that is like, what's the equivalent to a woman has emotionally jarring experience and gets bangs or wants bangs.
Sammi: Cry for help.
Steve: It's, it's guy who bleaches hair.
Sammi: A callback to the bangs again.
Steve: Yeah. Bang callback.
Sammi: But these aren't trauma bangs, according to you.
Steve: ah Yeah. Sammy doesn't have trouble, but bang. She has regular ass bangs.
Sammi: Thanks. R-A-B, regular ass make.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: But yeah, so anyway, so that's what they do. They'll like, they'll like trick you with one of those things. It will make you go, oh, what other videos have they posted? And they also like took this and ran with it and started having what seemed to be very normal conversations about like, oh, I just like different teeth and like, that's nice and just natural teeth and people, you know, whatever.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: And I don't have a horse in this race because I have naturally gorgeous teeth. Okay, sorry. no veneers here, baby, but I do have one that's fake and you'll have to guess which one.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: ah
Steve: Guess the fake tooth!
Sammi: Guess the fake too. um No, but no, a lot of orthodontia and a lot of surgeries went into making him out this good. I just don't veneers. I'm just kidding. um But yeah, then they start having these conversations and then it's like, all of a sudden they're going to pepper in something that's like, isn't it great when women ah get to just be home?
Sammi: Isn't that nice with their family?
Steve: I love it.
Sammi: you're like, yeah, I like being home. they're like, making your own bread. Isn't it nice? And you're like, yeah. And like, isn't it cool to be an accessory to fascism? And you're like, yeah, I guess you have a good point. You know, it's like, they're going to, they're going to start to pull you in.
Steve: allow that
Sammi: You got to look out for that. Watch out. I am not kidding.
Steve: Yeah. And then their pushback is awesome because they make these TikTok videos that it's just like them like walking in their backyard with their child.
Sammi: Pay attention.
Steve: And they're like, oh, so I go outside with my kid instead of iPadding them. ah If this makes me a fascist, then call me Adolph. And you're like, that's not the point, dude.
Sammi: You're like, okay, I guess so. um But it it was so weird.
Steve: Sure.
Sammi: Like I was watching, i for some reason I like got into, I don't know, someone was talking about like finance bro outfits and like guys in finance who are starting to wear eclectic sweaters to, and then going to bars and going, oh, what do you think I did?
Steve: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Sammi: Like, what, what do you think my major is? Or what do you think, you know? and And they're like trying to trick women into saying like liberal arts or whatever.
Steve: he
Sammi: But they literally still look like a finance bro who's playing dress up in an eclectic sweater. So i was like trying to find examples. I couldn't find very good examples, but I also believe it's happening.
Sammi: and um And one of the people I found was like, oh, this is my finance bro husband or whatever. And I started like looking at their stuff because I don't know, i was bored, whatever. i'm Not bored. I was procrastinating more like.
Sammi: And um it was really interesting because they have like a place in Jackson Hole. And I was like, oh, danger. and And then she had like this ins and outs for the year. And she was like, in raw milk.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: well
Sammi: And I was like, yeah, no shit. No shit. Yeah. it's like It's like, yeah, we don't like screens. And also, we like really old diseases. That should totally have been eradicated by now.
Sammi: In, measles, polio, listeria. Out, icky vaccines. Who knows what's in those? Yeah. In iron lungs. Like, what the hell is wrong with you?
Sammi: So that's like, watch out. Like, as someone who is, um sorry, I'm really passionate about this because I'm literally working on a dissertation that centers a lot on home economics.
Sammi: And I'm trying to differentiate between like the science that home economics have done and like this weird trad wife stuff that's like coming back with a vengeance. And, um,
Sammi: And it's it's a tight rope walk that I never envisioned myself doing, but um but it's important.
Steve: no
Sammi: So stay away from Evie Magazine if you see anything on social media. I would just recommend blocking them. I blocked them so that they can't trick me. You're not going to trick me. I'm not joining your little alt-right cult.
Steve: no tricker ass turn sammy into a trad wife oh top five ultimate podcast betrayal sammy becomes a trad wife
Sammi: Anyway.
Sammi: Okay. Like when I was...
Sammi: When I was like 19, it could have gone that way. who knows? Because I was like, feminism, i like baking. Like, I had no idea. I was just like, you know, a silly kid.
Steve: You mean I can't make blueberry muffins if I believe women should vote?
Sammi: yeah i hate
Steve: Ew.
Sammi: And then I was like, oh, that's not what it means. Oh, OK. Sorry. My bad. i'm I'm going to go away from that for as long as I can. But anyway, so ah let's go to Dina's date real quick ah because, see, I knew we'd have something to talk about.
Sammi: um So, yeah, so she's got 11 siblings, but none of them are going to see Grant at all. um But of course, we're in Chicago, so we're going go by the river. And ah not drink lort though. um But so she talks about she's like, okay, my dad is a pastor. He's like an ordained deacon and he just doesn't want to be on the show. And so you're not going to meet the family. So we're going to go do this like midway stuff and go to a pumpkin patch and like meet friends. And I don't know if like they set this up or if it was just like a thing they joined. It was kind of hard to tell.
Steve: Yeah, I don't. It's it's a thing like it's it's a thing in Chicago, but I don't know how much of this is like, I don't know, just contrived. So, I mean, the whole thing is it's The Bachelor.
Sammi: Yeah, I couldn't really tell. Oh, it's a pop-up. It's a pop-up. That makes sense.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: God, Chicago loves a pop-up.
Steve: Chicago loves a good part.
Sammi: I swear to God.
Steve: i swear to you. Yeah, no, seriously.
Sammi: I've been to so many pop-ups in Chicago.
Steve: The last time I was in Chicago, i literally like looked out my hotel window and between the hours of like, i don't know, like midnight and 7 a.m.
Sammi: I'm like, things just pop up here, huh?
Steve: m All of a sudden there was like an entire like Christmas market. was like, what the fuck? How did this get here? Sure.
Sammi: It's a pop up.
Steve: It's a pop up.
Sammi: It's a pop up. when I'll never forget like the weirdest one. ah One of my friends, we like she was living in Chicago at the time and we went to this pop up and it was just like a little art pop up. And yeah, we went really late. It was like 11 o'clock or something like that.
Sammi: And, um, there was like, it was like make art by like cut out yams and stuff and like stamp them to create like a pattern on a piece of paper. But for some reason, there's like this percent persistent memory in my mind.
Sammi: We went around a corner and like went into like a little alleyway and there was just somebody making like homemade blueberry, uh, donuts. Um, Like old school, like old fashioned blueberry donuts, like the drop donut type of the thing.
Sammi: And I think about that all the time and go, I want to make those. And then I still haven't. And it's probably been like 10 years. But anyway, that's what that's my memory of a Chicago of a good Chicago pop up. But yeah, so basically it's called Jack's Pumpkin Pop-Up.
Sammi: And apparently it wasn't a scam like some of those other ums in other places. Wow. Yeah, this one's like pretty big. So I'm looking at like a drone drone footage of it.
Sammi: And it's it's got like a bunch of, you know, light up pumpkin like archways and things like that. And then they've got the maze and, um you know, some of the Midway games and stuff like that.
Sammi: But it looks like, you know, maybe a couple blocks or a block or so. I don't know. Hard to tell. It's on Goose Island in downtown Chicago. I don't think I've ever been that way. Um, but that's what they did.
Sammi: And, um, yeah, I mean, this date goes fine in terms of like, he gets along with the women and stuff, but it's just like, it paints an incomplete picture of what life with Dina would be like.
Sammi: And she's trying to convince us like, well, but really like my family is like my friends though.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: It they it is really like that.
Steve: Yeah, we actually love each other.
Sammi: So yeah.
Steve: Oh, the whole thing is just messy.
Sammi: And I was like, Ooh, I don't know about that.
Steve: it If you didn't tell me it was a hometown, I would assume they were just on a regular ass early season bachelor date. There was nothing hometowny about this.
Sammi: Right. Yeah, it's kind of it's kind of rough.
Steve: So...
Sammi: um And also, Grant says he's very close to falling for Dina. Close, but no cigar, I guess.
Steve: No cigar. No.
Sammi: um And then I had to rewind like three times when we get back to L.A. because I'm like, wait, Joey's here? like, why? Yeah. I was like so confused. i was like, they're like, please like k Grant.
Sammi: Here's Joey. You all love Joey. Everybody loves Joey. There's not a soul on earth who doesn't like Joey. So here he is.
Steve: no
Sammi: And ah well, Kelsey's not here, but at least Joey's here.
Steve: Please associate Grant with Joey.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: We need you. Do you see this thing that you don't care about? You look at the thing that you like. What if they're in the same place? Then you like them both.
Sammi: You like, yeah, it's the transitive property.
Steve: No.
Sammi: You're gonna like Joey and you're gonna like Grant.
Steve: Yeah. Yeah. No.
Sammi: That's how that works.
Steve: don't Don't do this to me.
Sammi: And we're like, Joey's very different.
Steve: This is like when they brought out New Coke. I don't want New Coke. I like Coca-Cola Classic.
Sammi: Yeah. Yeah. So it didn't work. But then, yeah, I was like, oh, so Kelsey's going to be with the women. And then I was like, no, Kelsey's not going with the women because we're you like the women.
Steve: Mm-mm.
Sammi: So we don't have to worry about that part. But but you're still getting to like Grant and maybe we can get you to like him a little bit more if if he talks to Joey.
Steve: now.
Sammi: um Yeah. So, yeah, that he really I think Joey may be go down as the best bachelor ever.
Steve: Yeah, I mean, as far as like just general sentiment, he's he's the Dolly Parton of Bachelor Nation.
Sammi: Just saying.
Sammi: yeah
Sammi: Yes.
Steve: no one No one dares, dares to say a single negative thing about them. And if you do, then, oh, hell hath no fury. Like someone talking shit about Joey from The Bachelor.
Sammi: Yeah. Someone was like,
Steve: And then the the Batch Nation comes for you.
Sammi: Yeah. someone Someone was like talking shit about like during the l LA fires that they were doing something as like a photo op. And then people were like, um excuse me, they were actually there for a really long time and they were doing a lot of things. Okay. So back off, back off.
Steve: my god
Sammi: And I was like, wow. Okay. um But yeah, so it was, and then like, so the women are just like left to their own devices and they're like, well, how fun was it for him to meet the family? And Dina's like, yeah, it was so fun. I totally had the same experience.
Sammi: Yeah. No, I didn't. It was actually like pretty sucky, but it was like fine. was actually like fine. i and I'm not worried about it at all, except I'm extremely worried about it.
Sammi: And that's why I'm going to wear a black dress to the rose ceremony because I know it's my funeral. um And so, yeah, of course she went home and all the other women are moving on to the fantasy suite dates.
Sammi: um Latia, Juliana and Zoe. Yeah, I still think I think it's Juliana's game to lose. That's that's going to be my vote.
Steve: yeah that's that's fair but I got i gotta to yeah a little too obvious if you ask me is is Grant ready is he ready for the Italian woman to yell at him like what
Sammi: I think it's just the most obvious one. So I don't know. I don't know. I feel like it's been obvious the last few seasons. It's like they're not even trying to be tricky.
Sammi: I feel like he's kind of completely on board with that.
Steve: maybe
Sammi: And I and also it's like big family and he's like big family and he's like big family, not Mormon, extra bonus points.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: And big family, not Mormon wants to spend time with me. And dad thinks I'm wicked smart. Like, yeah, I want to hang out with them.
Steve: Yeah, true. Also, wife guys do tend to like big families because, you know, part of part of the wife guy mythos is like, yes, you're doing it because you you love just doing wife things, but you need an audience for your various, you know, wife activities that you're performing.
Sammi: Right. Yeah.
Sammi: yeah
Steve: So ultimate wife guy move, big Italian family, you get to wife guy for everybody. and they're like, oh, we love you, Grant. ah So yeah, it's...
Sammi: I mean, I will say with like Juliana and Zoe, there are, I mean, they have to be the final two. There's just like no way they won't be the final two. um but Between Juliana and Zoe, there are things with each of those women where he has a lot in common with them, like family wise, like upbringing wise.
Sammi: So they have they have some similar backgrounds where they can relate to each other in different ways. so i I could see that working with Zoe.
Sammi: It's just like we haven't seen it as much. So maybe your prediction comes true. We'll have to see.
Steve: who I hope so, because I would like to be right for the first time in my life.
Sammi: Yeah.
Sammi: So that's so that's your bet. I mean, you said episode one. You're like, Zoe's winning the whole thing. I didn't see Juliana um really even getting this far until they started interacting with each other.
Steve: Yep.
Sammi: So that was surprising to me.
Steve: Yeah, I don't think she really like Juliana stepped in the spotlight for me when they were in Scotland and she like pulled out her, you know, tough, tough girl Italian bona fides.
Sammi: I knew Latia would make it really far. Mm-hmm.
Steve: That's when she that's when she really stepped into the spotlight. ah
Sammi: That's interesting. Yeah.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: I mean, you know, I think, yeah, I was surprised that Alex was gone so fast. I thought Alex was going to go really far.
Steve: Mm hmm.
Sammi: um i didn't think Chloe was going to go far, but I wanted her to because she was my fave. Well, and also Parisa. I was like really sad about Parisa going.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: So there's certain there's certain women I was like kind of shocked left so early, but I knew Latia was going to make it far. i agreed with you that Zoe was going to make it far. Juliana surprised me, you know. um So I don't know.
Sammi: I mean, we'll we'll have to see how things kind of shake out. But I think I ah apparently he did hint that it's a happy ending.
Steve: who
Sammi: So.
Steve: Well, that's good, at least.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: I know like the the one little twist to rue that we have is in all the previews, there is a moment where he he can't make his final choice. He has this moment of indecisiveness.
Steve: And that's interesting to me because, you know, maybe Juliana checks all the right boxes for him. ah But but he moves in a different direction.
Sammi: Hmm.
Sammi: Interesting. Interesting.
Steve: And that direction could be like, I'm just going to go with the hot chick I barely know, which would be the smart move because it would make me look smart. Or he just goes, you know, we we call it the old Eminem move, Mormon mode.
Steve: Okay. So maybe he goes full Mormon mode and this is it.
Sammi: Wow. That would be the most shocking outcome.
Steve: Yep. Oh, trust me.
Sammi: I think if he, I mean, like, I do think he and Letia get along, but yeah.
Steve: All of Salt Lake City would soil their garments. Okay. Like. Yeah.
Sammi: I think, you know, I i think he and Letia have a really good, like, dynamic and stuff, but I would be really shocked if that was the end.
Steve: Yeah.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: And is, is Grant a classic bachelor bozo with wife guy mindset? Yes. And what would be the most bozo move that you could make? And I think it's saying love conquers all, including a religious divide that I simply cannot bridge.
Steve: So it would be in character for him.
Sammi: who
Steve: And Lord knows what, ABC would love it. The Bachelor producers would love it.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: So it's it's a good pick. That's the thing with Juliana is it might be the right pick for Grant right now. And it makes the most sense to us as viewers.
Steve: But you got to think about the ah the Hollywood sickos behind the scene, Sammy. And what do they want? I don't think they I don't think they want Juliana.
Sammi: It's sick of
Steve: She doesn't do anything for him.
Sammi: The Hollywood Sickos. Oh, my God.
Steve: The Hollywood Sickos. No, I mean, Olive Garden's not currently ah running commercials during The Bachelor, so it doesn't matter if you're here or your family. Sorry, I'm not hearing that. All I'm seeing is a lot of ah lot of things for the secret lives of Mormon wives, so it makes more sense to Juliana.
Sammi: I don't know. I feel like they're, because they're not going to have the Bachelorette, right, coming up.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: um I feel like they're using Latia to promote the secret lives of Mormon wives.
Steve: Yes.
Sammi: And maybe she'll be on the show.
Steve: That's true.
Sammi: that's That's what I think.
Steve: Hollywood sicko mindset.
Sammi: So I don't, and with that being said, I think it's ah that's a really good case for her not like going all the way to the end. But
Steve: Okay. Cause they, they want to like use her in some additional capacity as like a, ah I don't know, some sort of, I i don't know. Just, just
Sammi: It's kind of like, well, OK, it's like it's like when you watch The Real Housewives.
Steve: an ambassador, an ambassador. That's the word I was looking for.
Sammi: OK, you remember the first episode of Vanderpump Rules, right?
Steve: Of course.
Sammi: Of course. So you have you it goes right. I mean, this is what like it's one of the most genius crossovers, like one of the most genius or like adjacent, you know, show so you'll ever, ever see because they went right from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Sammi: And there's like this big, you know, interaction, altercation at the restaurant at Sur. And then the door swings the other way and then you get to see the servers. I was like,
Steve: brilliant.
Sammi: No notes. Best first episode of a reality show to ever exist.
Steve: Oh, yeah.
Sammi: And the wildest characters you will ever hope to see. And if there's, I mean, the thing is, we already have the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. But if they did something like that, can you imagine them like capturing Latia, just getting off the show and and like getting dumped?
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: And then she ends up like hanging out in Utah with her new girlfriends because they already know each other, by the way.
Steve: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Sammi: I mean, they've taken pictures together and stuff on Instagram. So this is not a stretch. um I don't know. It's like it would be that would be so interesting. You watch the last episode and then it's like, and here I am with my girls, you know, just need to get away from things for a while and just hang out in Salt Lake City and go get some swag with my new girlfriends and Maybe it's time for me to start a new life on my own.
Sammi: I mean, I love my family, but home has been a lot of different places. And for a while, i'm going to call Salt Lake City my home and see what happens.
Steve: o I love this. This is good. You need to send this treatment over over at to ABC.
Sammi: Hire me.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: Seriously, I'd be such a good producer. Just hire me. I've been paying way too close attention to this stuff.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: But if if anyone could ever, I mean, I don't know if any show is ever going to be able to achieve what Vanderpump Rules achieved. Probably not.
Steve: Oh, no. And it's it's amazing, too, because if you didn't jump on the Vanderpump bandwagon from day one, like you ah it's this perfect transition.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: Here's this thing that you like. But instead of like older women, let's let's make it young, stupid people who aren't rich. And you go, OK, so you somehow bridge these two completely opposite things to show you more fun television conflict and.
Steve: in the span of a decade, not only were you able to bridge that gap, but, but you made us forget by, by us. I mean, really the majority of people who are Vanderpump super fans right now, they're not coming from that real housewife background, you know, like they're just into it and to, you know, connect those things and then grow it into its own things.
Sammi: Mm-hmm.
Steve: so you, you no longer even associate the two. That is a major challenge that they did just effortlessly. It's, it's beautiful.
Sammi: Yeah. Now let's, okay. Two pieces of news before we wrap. ah You've got time before your pedicure. Okay.
Steve: Oh, of course.
Sammi: So two, two pieces of news before we wrap, especially because you may not get a new episode from us for a little while. We'll see. um Number one, the person, okay. You know, the other person on Bravo who tried to do this kind of transition and it just hasn't taken off in anywhere near the same way. Do you know who I'm talking about?
Steve: No.
Sammi: And another franchise? um
Steve: you?
Sammi: Oh, what? Go.
Steve: are you Are you talking about like the Jax Taylor spinoff here?
Sammi: No, no, no, no. I'm talking about so a completely different Bravo series. There's another person who like runs businesses and has tried to do this and have like a similar a show with a similar level of success Vanderpump Rules, but that's impossible to do.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: You got to just try. It's like you got to just try to do something completely different. You got to do like a Below Deck. You got to do a Summer House.
Steve: who
Sammi: You got to do something like with a completely different character. Oh, God, we got to talk about Summer House, too. um Okay, three pieces of like Bravo. ah Well, two pieces of Bravo news, one piece of Bachelor news and just reality TV news in general. This is where you're going to get all your hot updates. Okay, number one, Leva from Southern Charm. Did you watch? Have you watched Southern Charm?
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: I haven't watched like recent seasons. um I'm like super behind on Bravo in general. I've just been like yeah kind of bummed out.
Steve: Yeah. Southern Charm is one of my ambient shows. Like, i'm I'm cleaning, and it's just on, and I'm like, okay.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: Like, you know, like, I'm not, like, watching it, but I'm absorbing it.
Sammi: Yeah, there's something. yeah Here's the thing that really disappointed me about Leva is like she came on and I was like, I was really rooting for you. And then it turns out, well, allegedly ah pretty problematic, pretty problematic. So ah there was a new restaurant that opened called Zach's Dax, Zachary's Dackery's in Charleston.
Sammi: And it's basically like like a like a slurpy machine restaurant. OK, so. And it's all like in pastels and whatever. And it looks very casual. But apparently they have a dress code that starts at 8 p.m.
Sammi: And um gosh, I'm trying to remember the name of the influencer. Yeah.
Steve: Imagine you have to go to the slushy bar with like a dinner jacket. That's so lame.
Sammi: This is what I'm saying. It's so fucked up. Okay. So anyway, so there was somebody, um, God, her name's Sarah something. She's kind of big on Tik TOK.
Sammi: I'm trying to remember because she said something about like, um, the charged lemonades to, I'm trying to find her, her full name, Sarah Bous, Bous, Boss.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Steve: Okay.
Sammi: I don't know. B-A-U-S. Um, And she had posted something about like the charged lemonade. Like I had no idea how much caffeine was in it. And like she um became pretty well known for that. And she's like posted a lot of news updates and things. And like she's she's pretty like well followed on TikTok. I haven't really.
Sammi: tracked her, you know, over the past like year or two or whatever.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: But I did see her video come up on my FYP. And she was basically like, I got invited to this influencer event in Charleston, Zach Stacks. I was so excited. And um she talked about how like she, she was sitting outside and there were people in line and the, like the bouncer went up and like was talking about the dress code, which includes like no Jordans specifically.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: Weird. ah And they said it right in front of like black patrons who are standing in line who were wearing some of the things that they were talking about in the dress code. And she's like, so that felt ah really targeted and bizarre to me. And I decided to leave. And so did several other people because they did not like the way that even if you have a dress code, which I think is weird to begin with, but it's Charleston. I don't know. It sounds like that's kind of the norm, which is also weird, problematic.
Sammi: Yeah. But, you know, it's like if you're going to have a dress code like that, I don't know, there's like like more ah diplomatic ways. Like I would go up to someone individually and say, hey, like this is the policy. I don't want you to have to stand in line or feel like embarrassed or whatever.
Sammi: But it's so arbitrary because it was like if you come in you know, at like 750 and you're wearing that, that's fine. But if it's like 801, it's not OK or whatever.
Sammi: And so she was like, I thought that was weird.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: And then there was like um another another group that went there and they were black and they said that they felt like they got treated differently um and did not get the same level of service as other patrons, like on the same night or like a night before or something like that.
Sammi: So they also shared their story. So this wasn't just like one person saying this. um And then there were quite a few comments and people have said that. other businesses of hers were also like that.
Sammi: And then like Leva came on and like posted videos and was like basically accused Sarah of being drunk. She was like, I don't know, maybe she could have been like wasted off her ass outside.
Sammi: And it's like, well, then if she's wasted off her ass and she's at your establishment, shouldn't you have cut her off a long time ago?
Steve: Yeah, probably.
Sammi: that seems ah ah like a weird liability thing.
Steve: and
Sammi: But also like Sarah does not strike me as a person who just like goes and gets wasted. I don't know. She doesn't really give off that energy. i would be kind of surprised. ah Anything's possible, but um I don't think that's true. And then there's like a bunch of other things that have come out where like, yeah, this has happened at other establishments of hers.
Sammi: um And people really take issue, particularly with like the no Jordans language instead of like no sneakers.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: Like it feels very like racially targeted.
Steve: No sneakers, yeah. Oh, it's very racially coded.
Sammi: to me allegedly but don't come after me but it seems really weird
Steve: Yeah, allegedly. Listen, I'm going to say about Southern Charm is my favorite character for no reason at all, except for the one thing that I'm going to describe right now, which may seem minute and pointless to anyone listening.
Steve: My favorite character is Molly specifically because ah she casually mentions on an episode that she used to think that she had fat ankles. And so she used her like ankle fat to make her boobs.
Steve: So she has, she has like foot boobs. Via plastic surgery, which I think fucking rules.
Sammi: That's wild. That is ah really interesting. Anyway, so that so love is in hot water right now.
Steve: You're like, I am not discussing foot boobs with you.
Sammi: I just don't even know how to. Yeah, I.
Steve: you imagine like you're just you're just like sitting on a couch and you're being filmed for national television. And then you're just like, yeah, so I did this last week and then they just move on. And I'm just like, what?
Sammi: Yeah, that's weird.
Steve: We're not going to talk about this more. Yeah.
Sammi: That's like, yeah, it's like, I don't know. Does she come from like old money or I don't know anything about Molly. I don't think that much.
Steve: I have no idea. I think she plays like a tuba or something.
Sammi: Okay.
Steve: That's the only other thing I know about her.
Sammi: Oh, wow. She, yeah. Oh, she left. Wait, she left the holy city. Is that what Charleston is known as?
Steve: i I guess so.
Sammi: I guess so. To pursue her career as a model and catapulted to success by appearing on... She was on ANTM in 2010.
Steve: Oh.
Sammi: Anyway. Anyway, so, ah yeah, so that's, like, one piece of news. Leva's and hot water right now. and she And, like, yeah, her response is so tacky and weird. Like...
Sammi: She's just basically like, well, if you think that my business is racist, you're actually racist because that is the deepest level of racism. And I'm like, ma'am, what? What are you talking about?
Steve: That's a good one.
Sammi: I was like, she's like, no reverse card.
Steve: What you don't understand is I'm rubber and you're glue and whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you, bitch.
Sammi: Yeah.
Sammi: Yeah. She's like, you are. No, you are. So anyway, so that was kind of interesting. um So that was a big piece of news. Now I'm forgetting the other Bravo piece of news. Shoot.
Steve: Sorry.
Sammi: I'll,
Steve: It's because I talked about foot boobs. i
Sammi: it problem But okay, other other piece of news. I'll come back to that. it'll It'll come back to me, I think. I'm like going through all the shows in my head and going, which one was the one that had the news that I wanted to share with you?
Sammi: um The other thing I wanted to share is that ah Gabby is married.
Steve: Oh yeah, I saw that.
Sammi: Gaggy is married. Yeah.
Steve: it It just popped up on my TikTok and she was just like, I'm married. I'm wifed up. We're wife and wife or husband and wife or whatever we want to be.
Sammi: whatever she wants. Yeah.
Sammi: Yeah. So cute.
Steve: It's so weird.
Sammi: So
Steve: Why is it that like when whenever she's talking, it's like she's yelling at me, but I want her to yell at me more. Like I don't, it's, she gives, she gives me feelings I don't understand.
Sammi: she's Gabby. That's like what makes her good.
Steve: Yeah, it's great.
Sammi: Like she is really the breakout star of that show. And someone said, oh, God, what did they? Oh, I wish I remember what they called him. ah But there was basically like, the you know, she almost married there that beige man and or something like that on TV.
Steve: Yeah. Yeah.
Sammi: Thank God she didn't do that. You know, like that would have been really, really bad. um Gosh, I wish I remembered my other Bravo news. Oh, Summer House. Yes. Okay. Hannah Burner. ah Okay. Remember a couple episodes ago where I was like, I just don't like Hannah Burner. She's always put a bad taste in my mouth.
Steve: yeah
Sammi: I was right about her. I was right about her. I was right. I'm vindicated.
Steve: Wasn't she like real weird and terrible at her job at like ah a Vogue party or a variety party, a red carpet event or something?
Sammi: I'm right. I'm right. I'm right.
Steve: Like I saw bits of this, but I didn't actually see it.
Sammi: Yes, this it was Vanity Fair.
Steve: Okay.
Sammi: it was Vanity Fair and it was Megan Thee Stallion.
Steve: I was close.
Sammi: um That's the worst one. And this was like for the Oscars. And ah yeah, I just wanted to I did make a video of it on TikTok. Like I was like, I'm i'm stepping away from being behind the mic ah to and sitting in my living room to tell you I was right.
Sammi: I was right.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: i was right. I was right. I was right. I was right. And just felt really good. and um because and then people started bringing up like there are other tiktokers i'm going to try to grab their videos too and i'll put them in the description because there's some really good takes um so i will try to remember to do that i'm going to put that right now um but there was one person who was like brought up some things that i totally forgot about because i was like well i remember the joke stealing and i remember her being really weird on the show And I forgot that she like made fun of Luke for like his mental health struggles and stuff.
Steve: Oh. Yeah.
Steve: oh
Sammi: And like, I i mean, listen, Luke is a Minnesota boy. he sells maple syrup. At one point, I going to buy Luke's maple syrup. um But like, do not come for Luke. He seems like a totally normal, sweet Midwestern guy.
Sammi: And I just don't get any of the hate he ever got on the show.
Steve: yeah
Sammi: He's like one of the most normal ones. And she was trying to make him feel bad for like having like mental health struggles. And I was like, that's the grossest thing ever. And i remember that now. um She also like kind of did the same thing ah with Carl too.
Sammi: I was just like, what the hell?
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: So bizarre.
Steve: The women of Summer House love attacking Carl for the wrong reasons.
Sammi: And
Steve: like
Sammi: yeah, I'm like,
Steve: Like, um ah well, I don't care that you're in recovery, you piece of shit. Why don't you fucking recover a better personality? What?
Sammi: Yeah, I mean, he is like, i mean, he obviously is like a deeply flawed human being, but the the level of hate ah waged against him, yeah it's just odd.
Steve: Don't say that.
Steve: oh yeah.
Sammi: um But anyway, so I totally forgot about that stuff. and and And the other thing that I think is weird is people act like Paige is like totally great and Hannah's like totally terrible. And may I remind you, Paige dated Craig for like three years. She is not great. Sorry.
Steve: yeah
Sammi: The people she aligns with are not great and she's not great. And I don't know why people also, she has like no person at anyway, sorry, not to go there.
Steve: oh oh you know what you know what is great though little craig the dog that was named after craig i like little craig yeah yeah little craig
Sammi: can That chef's dog, right? Yeah. Little Craig is cute. um But yeah, so like, so people are being like, oh, well, Paige should have gone this alone, which I'm just like, I don't care about the giggly squad or any of that stuff. Sorry, no offense. Actually full offense. I don't care.
Sammi: yeah, now people are pulling out like other like weird problematic things that Hannah's done. and and like, it's all like, you know, it's like, okay, she did this one thing. Cause basically she, she interviewed Megan the stallion and, uh, was like fan grilling out. So it wasn't even like able to keep it together enough to like ask her a good question or anything like that.
Sammi: And then she said, she's like my, your music makes me want to fight. And I'm like, what?
Steve: yeah which also it's like okay that i don't understand but sure okay but but then and this is the thing that i think she she really sucks at and why she's bad at this like it when she got immediately got an adverse reaction to that and instead of backpedaling she like leaned into it i'm like this is not lean in time this is change the subject time
Sammi: Like our,
Sammi: Yeah.
Sammi: Yeah, it was so bad because like, yeah, Because, like, yeah, Megan Thee Stallion was like, no, don't you mean, like, she was like, you know, I mean, she's obviously, like, a consummate professional, you know.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: And she was just like, no, no, no. Like, that's not what it's about. Like, don't you, and she kind of, like, gave her an out. Like, don't you mean this? And she's like, no, I want to, like, punch people.
Steve: yeah
Sammi: And she's like, okay, this is fucking weird. And somebody just, and I'll ah try to find that video, too. Somebody just, I watched their TikTok, and they were saying there was someone who, like, only listened to Megan Thee Stallion for, like,
Sammi: like a long period of time. I don't know if it was like a month, a year, like only her music and like developed like a self-care routine that was really good. Like started respecting herself more, like doing all these like really amazing things for herself because like, that's what her music is about is like, you know, like the vast majority of her songs are about like,
Steve: Hmm. Good for her.
Sammi: you know, like having respect for yourself and like feeling pretty and like, and also like some of the struggles, like mental health struggles that she's gone through. And, you know, it's like, it's like very vulnerable music and also like very like inspiring music.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: And to like dilute that to like, uh oh like trope about like angry black woman was like so fucked up and like rightfully so she's getting dragged left and right for it as she should um and because you know it's just like i mean yeah you can tell the spaces that hannah hangs out in if she if that's like the like people have made that comment it's not just me
Steve: yeah
Steve: Also, it's just, it's so dumb because it's like, it's a red carpet thing. Like all you, you ask just softball questions.
Sammi: yeah who are you wearing yeah
Steve: Like who are you wearing? And oh my God, what about this new thing? Like, it's not that hard.
Sammi: Yeah. What's what's next? what can we yeah What can we expect next from you?
Steve: Yeah, this is, it's real simple shit.
Sammi: Yeah,
Steve: And the idea that like, apparently she just can't hold back with anything. She's like, your music makes me want to fight. And then despite the person getting mad, you're like, I'm going to keep leading into this. And then what is it like Bo and Yang and his, his podcast co-hosts were on the red carpet.
Steve: And she was just like, do you guys ever bang? And you're like,
Sammi: yeah that was so weird. It's like they're friends.
Steve: Which is another thing where it's like, you're specifically asking this because it's two gay men and not like, it's so lame.
Sammi: Like, what the hell?
Sammi: Right. It's like you wouldn't ask two straight men that question. Like, so weird.
Steve: Never in a million years. Actually, I, that would be really funny if you, I would actually, I would love to do that.
Sammi: That would be a better question. That would be a better thing to do. yeah
Steve: i would love to ask two dude podcasters on the red carpet that I knew were straight. If they ever fucked like that would actually be really funny.
Sammi: Like, do you ever kiss each other? you ever think about kissing each other?
Steve: you
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: Yeah. See, this is good. and Let us do the red carpet.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: I'm going to, I'm to do that shit.
Sammi: Yeah. What's the fan fiction like for that? Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, it was just it was so weird. And and then, you know, yeah, it's like it's just so unprofessional. It's so out of pocket.
Sammi: And it definitely shows like the bubble that she exists in.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: And she cannot read a room worth anything. And she and she's also like, I think I've made a comment about this on someone's video. I'm like, oh, I think it was the same person who like, I'll i'll try to find their video because it really good.
Sammi: But I think I've made a follow up comment on that video saying like, you know, she's like so that like old like 2000 2010s comics. who are like, oh, edgy things are so like, it like I can make fun of anybody because like everything's fair game.
Sammi: And like, I'm just being edgy and ironic and sarcastic. And if you don't like it, like I offend everybody. So just like, you know, you're hurting your own feelings. And I think I said something like, just say that you're bad at telling jokes and you're not creative and intelligent enough to like pivot.
Steve: that's the thing it's like yeah if you want to make fun of something you have to be good at it you're not good at doing it's
Sammi: Yeah, it's just like, that's like so like passe at this point. I mean, like any good comedians like worth their salt have have said as much. Like they're like, there's no, there's, and i I think about this kind of stuff all the time, but like, there's just no reason can, you can,
Sammi: If you're not smart, clever, a good writer enough to like tell a funny joke that like doesn't hurt other people's feelings, like then you're just not good at your job and you need to do a different job.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: I'm sorry tennis didn't work out for you, but you can't just like punch up or punch down, rather. You should punch up. You shouldn't punch down just derogatory.
Sammi: or just like be derogatory or like I just feel like all of her jokes are very lazy. They're all things that I've heard before. There's nothing like unique that comes out of her mouth.
Steve: yeah
Sammi: So of course she's going to be like stereotypical when she's on the red carpet because she just doesn't have a creative bone in her body. Sorry. and
Steve: I wish someone would steal her jokes, but they're not funny. So you're just like laundering jokes through like five different people.
Sammi: Well, they've already been stolen. So they would just be like, oh they're from, sorry, allegedly. Yeah, it's just like, you know, and it's like, I get it.
Steve: ah
Sammi: We've all had similar scenarios and whatever. But you watch somebody like, i don't know, like Maria Bamford or, you know, Dimitri Martin or like, you know, Mike Birbiglia or, you know, like name a bunch of like, like Taylor Tomlinson. Like there's so many comedians that just like they have, they have a a distinct niche and they are telling a joke in a way that even if it's like a similar setup, you've never heard a joke told this way before because they are artists.
Sammi: And to to just be like, yeah. So like, ah you know, skiing is for rich, bored people, you know, you're like, oh yeah. Yeah. I know, you know, and then you hear a Steve Martin joke where he's like, oh, I've got this like great prank, you know, and I do.
Sammi: You can do this at a at a ski lift. It's so awesome because people will put their names on their skis. So, you know, you you look over and you you turn to the person and you talk to them like you've known them your entire life. And it's like really going to freak him out.
Steve: it
Sammi: And I did this before. my God. This guy's name was rental. And he was like so confused. You know, it's like.
Steve: that's a good joke.
Sammi: See, that's a good and I didn't even deliver it as well as he does. But you know what i mean? Like it's there's so many creative things that you can do or you can just be like Hannah Berner who and and it's weird because what I've learned from this discourse is a lot of people don't even know she was on Summer House.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: Like there's a lot of people who know her just from Giggly Squad or just know her from like Instagram or Twitter, you know, in the olden days when she would write jokes and and memes on there.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: Some people only know her from like her specials. Like she's known in these like really segmented ways and not in a cohesive way, which is really odd.
Steve: yeah
Sammi: And so people will be like, oh, wait, she was on. and And so a lot of the conversation has been like, you don't know. what she did on Summer House and that's why you were rooting for her. And if you watched her on Summer House, you would not be rooting for her.
Steve: You would not be rooting for her. Yeah, exactly.
Sammi: And i wholeheartedly agree with that. I mean, not that really anyone on Summer House has that redeeming of a personality.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Steve: I say, who are we rooting for on Summer House?
Sammi: i don't know. we're oh We're rooting for, who was that? ah Was it Steven? Like the first season ah ah guy who was like there for like one season and then left.
Sammi: You know who talking about?
Steve: No, maybe. Yeah, anyone you're rooting for, they haven't they weren't there for that long.
Sammi: Yeah, Stephen McGee. I'm rooting for Stephen McGee because he was on like one or two seasons of Summer House and then he was gone. He was around the same time as the Workus Sisters. And I'm also, um who was that other one? ah Katrina or something like that? You know who i'm talking about?
Sammi: ah Oh my gosh, this is like such a, or no, what was her name? she was like the She was like the investigative reporter. Yeah.
Steve: Oh, yeah, I don't, I can.
Sammi: What was her name? Christina Gibson. Christina Gibson.
Steve: Okay, there we go.
Sammi: I'm rooting for Christina Gibson. I'm rooting for Steven. And um there was one more person. Well, and then, yeah.
Steve: What's that guy who who has like one nut because he had like ball cancer?
Sammi: And Luke.
Steve: Like, what it was it rude for him?
Sammi: Oh, gosh. I don't remember.
Steve: Or did he turn out bad too?
Sammi: Was that Jordan?
Steve: ah
Sammi: No, that wasn't Jordan.
Steve: Maybe. I don't know.
Sammi: Jordan's the one who like was maybe a virgin or wasn't.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: I don't know. Andrea too. We root for Andrea because he's sweet. He like just cries at the drop of a hat. Like he was, but it's like all the people who were like too good for the show, like are here and gone.
Sammi: You know what i mean? Like they're not on for that long.
Steve: yeah
Sammi: Anyway, now i just want to go watch Summer House. Um, But that's all we have. Look at that. We gave you an hour and a half. So even if you don't see us for a while, you'll see us soon.
Steve: We did that.
Sammi: And you've got a lot of things that you have to think about now.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: um But consume wisely. um Celebrate Pi Day. It's next Friday.
Steve: Hey.
Sammi: i was actually kind of sad because I didn't get Pi Day themed nails and i it just didn't time out quite right. I don't know.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: I'll do it next year, but I might get, by the time you see me next, I may have knuckle tattoos that say bake pies on them. So we'll see what happens. That's, that's the goal. um But, but take care, be safe, eat pies.
Steve: And don't do needle drugs!
Steve: Please.
Sammi: please Pretty please.
Steve: Pretty, pretty please.
Sammi: We would like it if you did not do needle drugs.
Steve: Yeah. You know what else? Yeah, don't don't do needle drugs. Don't don't watch Sheena Shea The Masked Singer either.
Sammi: Sheena's on there?
Steve: Dude, it's the worst!
Sammi: Good as cold.
