Transcript
Speaker: Welcome. First of all, welcome. This is Unsolicited Perspectives. I'm your host, Bruce Anthony, here to lead the conversation in important events and topics that are shaping the day's society. Join the conversation and follow us wherever you get your audio podcasts. Subscribe to our YouTube channel to watch our video podcasts. Rate, review, like, comment, share, share with your friends, share with your family, help, even share with your enemies.
Speaker: Welcome, welcome, welcome back. We took a brief hiatus. I had people emailing me and saying, hey, man, where's the show? There wasn't a show on Friday. There wasn't a show on Tuesday. What's going on? I told you I was taking a little break. I was going down to Atlanta to go visit my sister for a 40th birthday party. And it was ah it was a really, really good time. yeah I got funny stories from my trip to Atlanta. so Part of my anxiety, and and if you guys are frequent listeners of the show, y 'all know that I'm very open about my anxiety. Part of my anxiety when flying is getting to the airport two hours before I'm supposed to board, not before the flight takes off.
Speaker: before I'm supposed to board. I don't care how smooth sailing check -in goes. No, I don't have TSA pre -check. No, I don't have clear. I won't get those. I'm just going to stick with the regular check -in because I never have a problem. There's never any long wait. But I know the one time I do decide not to go two hours early is going to be the time that I miss my flight. So, hey, I like to be there early.
Speaker: But everybody was joking on me about that. They're like, what are you going to do the whole time that you're sitting in the airport? Drink, that's what I'm gonna do the whole time I'm sitting in the airport. There is nothing better to me than that airport drink. There's nothing better to me than that flight, that the drink on the flight. I like drinking, okay? Everybody, ladies and gentlemen, this is no secret. I like drinking, and I like to have myself a little airport drink. Do I wish they were cheaper? Yes, I do, but I did find out on a Southwest flights The tequilas are extremely cheap, only $9. And for some of y 'all living in different areas, $9 for a tequila might seem kind of expensive to you, but routinely here in the DC area, a tequila drink is $15 and above. So if I can get a $9 drink on a flight, I'm going to jump at it because I damn sure was paying more than $9 a drink while I was at the bar waiting at the airport.
Speaker: I have anxiety when flying, not the actual flying part of missing my flight. So I get there early and everybody was joking me about it, but I don't really care. You know, I'm comfortable with it and it doesn't really it matter to them. what What does me getting early to the airport have to do with anybody else? Unless you ride with me and guess what? If you ride with me, we're going to have a good time because I didn't accidentally, but I definitely did get lit on the plane. So this was my whole process. My flight was at three something, right? So I was going to get there at one. I was done with work well before 12. So I jumped in the shower, did a shave and everything like that.
Speaker: Got my finished packing, because I didn't pack until that morning. And you know I had to pack 17 pairs of drawls, even though I'm only going there for three days, just because I might accidentally poop myself. I don't know why we pack so many pairs of drawls, we just do. And I'm not the only one who does it. But I decided to take a shot before I left my place.
Speaker: Now, I'm taking the bus in the metro to the airport because I'm riding right out of DCA. It's not that far from my house. It's about 15, 20 minutes. And I did not feel like spending $20 on a Uber ride. Why? Because I knew that I was going to be spending $20 plus dollars on drinks at the airport. So I took the bus because the bus is free. I took the metro because that's only $2. I was there within 40 minutes, right? It doesn't take me that long. The only problem was is that I took a shot before I left.
Speaker: And then I decided to take a roadie. Now, ladies and gentlemen, do y 'all know what a roadie is? If you don't know, I'm gonna explain it to you. A roadie is a drink that you take for the road. I'm often having a drink.
Speaker: on the road because I'm never driving. So it's always in a Gatorade bottle or in a seltzer bottle that I got a little gimmick. A gimmick is tequila. So I put two shots in the bottle because I figured it might take me an hour depending on when the buses run and when the Metro's running for me to get to the airport. So, you know.
Speaker: two shots an hour, that's pretty reasonable for a guy that's six foot four, 240 pounds. Like that's that's not that big of a deal. The problem was, is I didn't forget, but it didn't dawn on me that I actually had a shot before I poured my roadie and it only took me 40 minutes to get to the airport. So let's just say I'm not lit, lit.
Speaker: but I'm definitely feeling it. But I get through the checkpoint, no problem. um And I mean, I checked, the bag was easy to check. Get to the checkpoint. Now, Southwest is on a different part of DC8. A friend of mine told me, hey, it's in a different terminal. It's like a mile and a half to get there. I said, man, what's a mile and a half to a player? I didn't say those words exactly, but I said, what's a mile and a half to me, right? I walk miles every day when I go for my little daily walks. It's typically three three miles a day. ain't no Ain't no big deal for me to walk to the other terminal terminal if it's a mile away.
Speaker: He said, you're going to know you're heading in the right direction because you're going to see a museum. I said, excuse me, a museum in the airport. Sure enough, as I was walking to that terminal, because I had to get directions from somebody at the airport to get there, I did see a museum and it did take a ah mile long walk, which was good because I kind of sobered up a little bit. So that was a long part of the check in. Once I got to the terminal, it was checked back.
Speaker: get on, get through the security. Boom. I'm on my way. And I decide to stop up off this bar and get a drink. Met a lovely couple. I will get into that in future episodes. But let's just say, spoiler alert, I met a nice couple that also does a podcast that had a very interesting topic. So we might be doing some collaboration. But so I was sitting there.
Speaker: Notice that they were doing stuff, working post -production for a podcast and struck up a conversation. Had two drinks while I was at the airport bar, hopped on the plane, had another drink. So count that, ladies and gentlemen. That is six drinks between the time of noon to when I land in Atlanta, which is about five.
Speaker: Yeah, I was feeling good. I was feeling real good. Not too bad, but feeling real good. And let me just tell you. I'm never flying a budget airline again, not unless there's no other option but that. First of all, I realize these budget airlines cost the same. Once you get through all the fees and everything, it costs the same. The difference is that when you go to ah to a non -budget airline, you're paying the cost upfront as opposed to when you go to these budget airlines, you're paying it over time, sort of.
Speaker: I got free wifi on Southwest. Typically, if I fly these budget airlines, I got to pay for it, right? And even when you do pay for it, sometimes it doesn't work. This was free.
Speaker: And just like on my Delta flight, they gave me TV shows and movies to watch. Sat up there, watched one and a half long order, landed on my front, on my and landed my landed in Atlanta. It was easy. It was smooth sailing. And I checked my bag, wasn't a problem. Didn't have to pay an extra fee because that was included.
Speaker: I'm never flying any of these budget airlines again. And now that I know, because I didn't know before that Southwest flies out of DCA, I am never flying out of BWI or Dulles. And once again, unless I absolutely have to, I'm about to text my bestie and be like, look, we need to look at these Southwest Airlines to New Orleans, because this looks like this the airline place to be. Southwest, if y 'all want a spokesman, you got it with me, because that was a great flight. I love Southwest.
Speaker: when i got When I landed, my sister came and picked me up. And me and my brother and sister just hung out. We just hung out. And I kept saying it all night long that we were hanging out. We weren't doing anything but just chilling in the house, just vibing. And it was literally the greatest time that I've ever had hanging out with my brother and sister. We didn't even do, we didn't go anywhere.
Speaker: It was just the three of us. And y 'all see the dynamic that me and my sister have on the show that is literally us um at every day. Anytime we get together, that's us. And my brother is that third person that is just like us in that interaction. So imagine the sibling happy hour with a third person that's even funnier than my sister is and I. Because you know if you're going in pecking order, my brother's the funniest. Then it's my sister. Then it's me.
Speaker: And it was just it was just a vibe. I stayed up till 2 .30 in the morning. That was also part of the problem this whole trip. 2 .30 in the morning was the earliest that I went to bed in the four days that I was there, except for the last night because I had to get up in the morning and and do some stuff for work. But look,
Speaker: And my cousins didn't didn't hesitate to remind me too, because a lot of my cousins were there and they're younger than me. The closest cousin that I have, I'm 13, 14 years, 13 years older than. So one of my cousins kept calling me the elder.
Speaker: i You know, like you the elder, you're the one who's supposed to be taking charge. And and they know kind so they kind of joked on me a little bit because I'm old and and maybe I can't hang. And guess what? I can't hang with their you little young selves. I you know i i want to be in bed at a reasonable hour. The night of my sister's party, which was a great party. I mean, that was just a fun, fun night hanging out with my sister. We'll talk more about that during a sibling happy hour that comes out.
Speaker: next week, but it was just, it was a vibe. But i told my I told one of my cousins, I was like, look, this party starts at six, people gonna get here at eight. By one o 'clock, I plan on being in bed. Because I can't keep doing this 2 .30 in the morning stuff. I had done it Thursday night and Friday night and Saturday was the party. And I said, hey, I can't keep doing it. I'm i'm ripping and running all over the place, running errands, trying to get ready for this party, doing manual labor, cleaning off.
Speaker: Dexon and my brother was really doing the manual labor, but I was helping out a little bit You know saying I helped out a little bit, you know, but but it was just running all around I'm trying to get my workouts in a damn near died on my run on Saturday morning. I Said to myself I've got to get to bed by 1 o 'clock That did not happen. I got to bed at 3 30 The Sun was almost up I just, I can't hang. I came back on Monday and um'm I've just been exhausted all week. My whole week has been shot. If y 'all are looking at me right now, I got bags under my eyes. I'm struggling. I can't do it like that. I'm 44 years old. I can't hang with these young whippersnappers no more. My sister can't hang. My sister's not feeling well right now from her party. we can't We can't hang like that no more. And that's okay. I'll be the elder and
Speaker: and do do what I need to do. Now, here's the sad part. The sad part came when I had to come home on Monday. I didn't really make a big deal out of it, but I was at my sister's house and she was driving me and another one of my cousins, my cousin that lives right up the road for me, to the airport because our flights were relatively close to each other.
Speaker: And before, like we were packing up, I was kind of stalling because they were joking on me once again, because I wanted to get to the airport two hours before my flight boards and.
Speaker: you know I kind of didn't want to leave. I did not want to leave. I had such a great time. And it was so dope hanging out with all of my cousins, hanging out with both my brother and sister. Like I said, it was a fantastic trip. And I just knew what was waiting for me back in DC. And I'll get into that in just a second. But I was you know i was feeling a little ah feel a little sad. What helped was I was kicking in with my cousin.
Speaker: You know, drinking. Once again, I was drinking. And then got on the plane. And and what did I watch? I watched something. I think I watched a documentary. I can't remember what I was watching. but I watched a documentary or something. Once again, Southwest. Shout out to you. Had me a little tequila drink. Had plenty of space. Had plenty of space. Nobody was sitting right next to me. Landed in DC. And immediately, I just started like it was almost.
Speaker: Not real depression, but it was almost that overwhelming depressive type of feeling like I'm back in DC. And don't get me wrong, I love DC. DC is just this justice pressure cooker of everybody is so intense because everybody thinks that they're important. And they're not, not really. There's like, what?
Speaker: You got 50, and then how many House of Representatives? Like 300 plus House of Representatives. And then the Vice President and the President. Like those are the people that's really, really important. You got some lobbyists. Eh, you got a mayor. You got a city council. Okay, those people are kind of important. You got some doctors, because we got a lot of hospitals around here. But there's a lot of people who are staffers for a certain small Congress person.
Speaker: and a flyover state that thinks they're the hot ish. And they're really not, but everybody has a mentality here. And everybody is just about, what do you do? What do you do? What do you do? You know what I do? I mind my damn business. But anyway, so.
Speaker: I wasn't looking forward to that. DC is this pressure cooker. I've been feeling it a lot lately because the election is coming. And no sooner do I get off of the plane, take the Metro to the bus stop as I'm getting off of the Metro, getting ready to go catch the bus. This woman walks up to me and she asked me for spare change. And of course, I don't have no spare change only because who's carrying cash or coin or anything like that?
Speaker: If she had a cash app, I probably could have gave her a little bit of money, but she didn't have that. I didn't ask. Maybe she did. But I didn't have any spare change. And I was wearing a Macho Man Randy Savage shirt. And she says, oh, Macho Man, that's a song that Trump plays at his rallies all the time. And I said, no, this is Macho Man Randy Savage. This is a professional wrestler. He plays a song by the village people called Macho Man. Not the same thing. But thank you. I i do love this shirt.
Speaker: And then she started talking about Kamala is a liar and she's locked up all the black people. Mind you, she was of a person of color. Jamaican, Ethiopian, something like that. I couldn't really make out for sure. And I'm like, that's not true. That's not true because it isn't true.
Speaker: and There's this rumor going around that but Kamala Harris, as a prosecutor, put away all these black men for marijuana. And that's just absolutely not the case. And it doesn't take much of a Google search to disprove that rumor. But she was just like, she started yelling at me. Not yelling at me, but yelling at me. And I'm walking away. I'm walking away. And I was just like, see, this is what I'm talking about. I hate DC. I mean, I don't hate it, but I kind of hate it.
Speaker: I kind of hate it. All right, before we get into the next segment, when I just start talking about my toxic masculinity or overcoming my toxic masculinity in the third segment, this interesting gem story, I have to, before I get out of here, tell you guys what one of my friends told me. Now, this is a female down dating a male. I'm a friend of the female. We're going to say the female's name is Samantha, and we're going to say the male's name is Sam, okay? I have a friend named Sam. Let me change that name.
Speaker: Cause Samantha and Sam is both the Sam. So we're going to say her name is Samantha and we're going to say his name is Sean. So Samantha comes up to me and she was like, can I ask you a question? And I was like, yeah, it's about Sean. Now I hate talking to her about Sean cause she's always coming to me for advice. I give her the advice and she doesn't ever listen to me, but okay.
Speaker: So I'm like, okay, yeah, sure. She says, well, I know you used to be a cheater back in the day. And I say, wait a minute, hold up, dammit. Like, I don't even know where this is coming from. Yes, I used to be a cheater back in the day. I'm open about that. But like, don't be attacking me like this. And she was like, no, no, no. I just know you know about being shy. I said, once again, stop attacking me like this. Like, ah and okay. or I know the point that you're getting at, but just phrasing here let's Let's try and show a little bit of respect. I'm not that person anymore and haven't been for a long time. She said that Sean called her from the grocery store and told her a story that when he went to the grocery store, he got upset because nobody could help him find what he needed to find. And she was just like, it was a random story. I was like, okay.
Speaker: When Sean got home, Samantha realized that found a receipt that Sean had. And it was from that grocery store. But the that receipt from that grocery store was from a couple of days ago, right? And the story that he was telling was from a week ago. And as she's telling me the story, I say, yeah, OK. And she said, and I asked her, what what was on the receipt? And she said, you know, like,
Speaker: a lamb chop and some wine, right? And I said, okay, what was he talking about? What was he looking for when he told you that the person in the hair cedar couldn't help him with anything? Oh, Sean was looking for some cider.
Speaker: I said, okay, but I just don't understand why he lied. I don't think he lied to you. What? No, he obviously lied because the receipt is from this time and he told me it was a week ago. Plus also could he just be making lamb chops for other women? And, and, and I was just like, Samantha, okay, let's take a deep breath and then let's break this down. He told you that last week he had a situation where he went to a grocery store looking for something and they couldn't help him.
Speaker: Yes. Okay. You found a receipt from a couple of days ago that was not what he was looking for, but from the same grocery store. Yes. So that obviously means that he was buying groceries to make dinner for somebody else. Okay. No. What that means is, is that he probably was in the grocery store and it reminded him of the last time that he was in the grocery store. And then he called you to tell you the story.
Speaker: Oh, that does make a lot of sense. Also, how many lamb chops were there? There was just one? OK, so he's going to make dinner for another woman with just one lamb chop. Well, it could have just been an appetizer. Maybe she had some lamb chops. I said, this you're you're being absolutely ridiculous about this. Odds are he went to the grocery store. It reminded him the last time he was at the grocery store. He forgot to tell you the store. So he calls you while he's at the grocery store to tell you the story.
Speaker: Also, it don't make no sense. Not in either situation, wherever he was getting, was there enough for him to get for two people? Besides, y 'all are always around each other. When is he going to have time to cook for another woman to do anything else? You're right.
Speaker: And the reason why I bring up this story is because this isn't in an uncommon situation. A lot of people, based on their insecurities, draw up these own crazy ass scenarios in their head when logic just says there's an answer to it. And the logic was, for her,
Speaker: She was crazy. Samantha is crazy. Samantha was crazy. Like, that was an easy situation. Homeboy remembered the last time he was at the grocery store because he was currently at this grocery store. That's all that was. Oh, and this is the reason why I told Samantha I don't want to talk to her about her, Sean, because she's crazy and I don't want to hear about it.
Speaker: I have too many female friends that tell me their, that tell me their scenarios and life stories and oh my God, it just be crazy. But you know what? I'll be real honest with y 'all. This is something that I haven't really even told anybody. I used to have a female friend, a female friend that I had known since I was 23 years old. We dated when we were younger and we really liked each other, but we ended up marrying other people.
Speaker: And now that was cool. we I'm getting divorced as well, but we always maintained a friendship because we always had a legitimate friendship to one another. And I have anxious attachment that I've been getting over or been working through over the last four or five years. I have anxious attachment.
Speaker: And if you know anything about anxious attachment, when people start to pull away, I start to draw closer. And this is only in romantic relationships. In any other type of relationship, I have what one of my therapists at one time called emotional cut off. And my uncle used to call me the sniper because I just cut people loose.
Speaker: from the many stories that I've told you guys and from one of the stories that you're going to hear next, I cut people loose. But anyway, when it comes to dating, I tend to hold on a lot longer than I should actually. And she legitimately got tired of me telling her ah about my dating scenarios and 15 years of friendship. She just ghosted and stopped being my friend. The last thing she said to me was, did you get a therapist yet?
Speaker: And I was like, no, i not yet. I haven't found the right one. Get a therapist. That was the last thing she said to me. I did. And I worked through my situations. But since she decided not to talk to me anymore, I'm not going to talk to her anymore. Emotional cutoff. And speaking of emotional cutoff, that's going to lead me to the next story that I'll get into next.
Speaker: I'm not done promoting my Patreon page. There's a reason why I've been promoting the hell out of it. Y 'all should really, really check it out. Once again, it's $5 a month for Talk Straight -ish. That's my show. It's $5 a month for After Hours Uncensored. That's a show with me and my sister. It's $9 a month for both shows. You can go on the website.
Speaker: It gives you a direct link. Sign up for it. It's all set. This is an episode. This is a clip. This is a section of an episode of Talking Straight -ish, my show. This was released on March 4th of 2004. And this is me talking about my toxic masculinity and growth and evolution. I just want to give you guys a heads up. This is the Patreon page.
Speaker: So parental discretion is advised. I've cut out some of the cussing, but some of the cussing I left in, because it hammers home to point. That's all I can say. So without further ado, here you go.
Speaker: Welcome, welcome, welcome to Talking Straight Ish. That's Talking Straight Shit with me, Bruce Anthony, your host here to lead you in the conversation, important events and the topics about my life. That's what Talking Straight Ish Uncensored is um about. It's about my life. And what am I going to dig into today? Well.
Speaker: I've had this, I don't know, it's kind of this introspective thing recently where, okay, let let's start from the beginning. It started with the song, Darling Nikki from Prince. And if you don't know, I've never heard of the song, stop this recording right now and go listen to the song. And in the context of this conversation, you'll understand what I'm talking about.
Speaker: So hopefully you stopped and went to listen to the song and you can follow along with the context of this conversation that I'm about to enter in now. And I'm going to go all over the place. It starts with a little nickety and it goes into some other stuff about setting boundaries. But I had to realize, I don't know, probably in my thirties, how much of a misogynist I really was. How much of a misogynist was I? In college, I had a whole equation, a legitimate mathematical equation to determine if a woman was a ho or not. That's how misogynistic and stupid I was. And here's the crazy thing. This equation in 1999 and 2000, and 2001, spread not only from the University of Maryland campus, but also to American University, GW University, Georgetown, Howard, and George Mason. Oh, and Towson.
Speaker: this equation actually spread. and It was a talking point. Some women were like, oh, I'm good. I'm not a hoe. And other women were were like, I don't like this equation. And I understand now the hypocrisy of it. Because if I use that whole equation to determine if I was a hoe or not during that time, I was definitely a bona fide 100 % whore. There's no conversation about it.
Speaker: and somewhere along the line, probably in my thirties, probably my thirties. I stopped looking at women as this pristine thing that okay.
Speaker: let me Let me go into this. So I used to date women and I used to have girlfriends yeah that I would be like, look, you're this pristine, bru beautiful princess. I can't do the things that I do with you that I do with other women. And I would do, you know, I was a cheater. So I would do things with other women that I wouldn't do with them. Sorry, Mom.
Speaker: I know this is not really a conversation you want to be hearing about, but this is unsolicited perspectives and this is just so talking straight is, so this is just being real. And I don't know why where that I did came from of the woman that you're with, you're supposed to treat as this angelic creature and women on the street, you're supposed to treat in certain way. I don't know where this came from. This was not something that I learned from the man in my family. This wasn't something that was preached. It's probably societal.
Speaker: learning. But ah yeah, so that's how I used to treat women. And it wasn't until my 30s where I was like, no, why wouldn't I want a partner? That's everything that I want. Why would I subject myself to something that that wasn't what I wanted it's purely because of this idea of what a wife or girlfriend is supposed to be. And I didn't have it until my to my 30s.
Speaker: But definitely in my 20s, I was a misogynist, my late teens, early 20s misogynist. And if you listen to the song, Darling Nikki, the woman that he's describing is absolutely a woman that that I would be involved with. It's just that she would be treated differently depending on what age of Bruce she got.
Speaker: in the late teens, early 20s, Bruce, she's gonna be treated like a piece of meat. In the 30s, Bruce, she's not gonna be treated like a piece of meat. She's gonna be treated with respect. But odds are, I'm not going to want to date her seriously. Definitely the early 30s, by the late 30s that changed. In my 40s, I'm like, look,
Speaker: We here. You know what I'm saying? That's what you do? Cool. like I'm into that. So come on over here. Let's hang out. it's just It's funny. I wish I could go back and talk to my younger self sometimes. And my younger self wouldn't listen. My younger self would call me soft and weak because of that toxic masculinity saying that this is the way that you need to be. and This is the way that you're supposed to be. And and you learn with age that those toxic masculinity traits just Hopefully you learn with age. I have some some friends who haven't but you know, luckily, thankfully, really important women in my life, past tense and present tense have have shaped me. And I always hear my grandmother's voice. You know, it's so funny. In my older age, my grandmother passed 12 years ago.
Speaker: And she was very, very important to me. And I didn't really get an opportunity to truly mourn her because I was, nobody around me knew, but I was going through a divorce. Just nobody knew. And the person I was divorcing wasn't,
Speaker: there for me. But I always knew that she couldn't be there for me through times of strife for me individually. She just didn't have that capability. and And I knew that beforehand. I didn't make things easier that I was going through the breakup of my marriage and losing somebody that was very, very important to me. And so I didn't really warn her like I really wanted to because i was I was just, my world was crazy at that particular point. So it it came later and hit later really hard. But through time and I wish, I know she knows, but I wish I i could have told her
Speaker: how much her words resonated with me still, because she was always this little voice. And mind you, my grandmother was a teeny tiny person, teeny tiny and powerful person at that. She was a force of nature. But I always hear her voice of how a man is supposed to treat a woman.
Speaker: Her voice got drowned out as I was growing up with my friends and and other men that were telling me, this is the way you're supposed to act. And it's funny, in my mid 30s, late 30s, late 30s, and now into my 40s, her voice is is finally ringing through all the noise. Part of that is that Shield that I had that toxic masculinity shield has has shredded and her voice is able to penetrate But it was always there It it was always there and She always she taught me from a very young age how a man is truly truly supposed to be and The 20 year old Bruce and the 30 year old Bruce
Speaker: early 30s. I would love to go back and talk to them and just say to them, hey, grandma gave you the key. She told you how it's supposed to be. Sometimes, sometimes you're going to treat women very, very kindly, very nicely with respect. All women should be treated that way. Just sometimes this things just don't work out. And just because you treated a woman in a certain way, and it didn't work out the way you wanted, doesn't mean that you stopped treating women that way. That's what I would love to go back and tell them, like, Grandma gave you the key. She gave you the key. So I'm listening to Darling Nikki, and I'm just listening to the words. And it's a song that, first of all, it's
Speaker: from the Purple Rain album, I believe it's from Purple Rain album, it is, which is my favorite Prince album. And so I've always been a fan and I've always been a fan of the Darlin' Nikki. And it's just the meaning of it and how I respond to it has just changed through the years. And I'm very grateful that I'm maturing. I wish, I wish that I had matured a little bit earlier, you know, I probably wouldn't have made some personal mistakes that I made. But that's also part of life and growing up, right? Like I needed to make those mistakes to learn from those lessons in order to be the person that I am now. So you in ways, I'm extremely grateful, but in a lot of ways, I was like, man, did that really have to go down the way it did? But it did. It did so that I could learn and grow.
Speaker: But like I said, this episode was not solely about maturity. is ah but but The theme of it is maturity. But I'm going to move on from the idea of getting out of my toxic masculinity and and growing into the man that still I'm growing into, but a man that I'm much prouder of being now Then I was in my twenties, if I look back, but once again, some sort of process, but just talking about boundaries. And that's something that, that has, I've really been doing a lot of this year has been, been really, really setting boundaries. Um, one, because I'm busy, you know, ladies and gentlemen, I have a full time job.
Speaker: And then I have this, which is a full -time job. I'm not complaining. I did this. I want this. I enjoy doing this. Is it tough sometimes to come up with content and to come up with shows? Yep. It is. It is. it's It's tough to come up with stuff that you're not repeatedly going over the same topics over and over again.
Speaker: and You fall a victim to that sometimes, but there's also real enjoyment. I really love getting on this mic and and talking. Like I said, a couple of episodes back, this is cathartic for me to just speak my truth and things that that that that I think about often and things that really matter to me. Yeah, so I don't regret this.
Speaker: Maybe probably wouldn't have been so ambitious as to do four shows a week, but but that's okay. We hear it now. But I've been setting boundaries because I don't have the amount of time that I used to have. I just don't. And some people have been understanding. Some people have not been understanding. Always go off of those people that really rock with me, those people that say they're my friends.
Speaker: They know that I'm doing this venture. How much are you supporting me in this venture? Right? For those people who never ask me about it or never bring it up, I have to question. Like, do you really care for me? And I know that's weird in a standpoint of you're asking them to ask you about yourself. But if people know, the people that are closest to me know that I'm extremely private.
Speaker: I know that's mad crazy for a lot of you people to to listen to. It's like, Bruce, you got a podcast. You're always talking. But I'm extremely private. Those people that are really, really close to me will tell you, I don't know what's going on in Bruce's personal life. There were people that that still, still don't know.
Speaker: that that crypto passed and that was like six months ago, right? And that wouldn't know, there were people that wouldn't know if other people didn't tell them because i just that's something that i wouldn't I'm just not going to talk about. you know I've dated women and broken up with women and some people haven't even known about that entire process. Close to me, people that are close to me haven't even known about that entire process.
Speaker: I'm just extremely, extremely private. So if I decide to share something that's important and you know that it's important to me and you don't ever ask me about it, because I'm asking you about your important stuff. If you're my friend, I'm asking you about your important stuff. I'm asking you about what's going on. If you're never asking me about my stuff, then like, do you really care about me? And so I'll give you an example. And maybe I've talked about this before. Maybe I haven't. I don't know. I can't remember.
Speaker: But I had a friend, she used to live in my building. She had a dog. I had a dog. It just so happens that a lot of times when we were walking the dogs, we were running to each other and just start chit chatting. And she was like, Hey, we should hang out sometime. She would take care of my dog. I would take care of her dog. My dog dies.
Speaker: And she notices that I'm being distant. So she's like, hey, how you doing? Notice that you know you haven't hit me up in a while. Is everything OK? And I tell her, I was like, hey, crypto passed away, blah, blah, blah. I'm really sorry to hear that. Let me know if you need anything. And then I never hear from her again. This is somebody that actually took care of my dog. This is somebody who who's seen me not daily, but couple of days a week with my dog and seeing me in interaction with my dog and you didn't think enough to just check in on me. I had somebody who I dated and we broke up and it was a bad breakup.
Speaker: but We had just been chit -chatting through DM on Instagram, and we were planning on getting together, having a drink to catch up, because ah despite how we broke up, we were always cool. You know what I'm saying? Always somebody that that I could have endless conversations with, because I like the way her brain worked. That's part of the reasons why I was really attracted to her, because she was really intelligent. And like I had to tell her the day of,
Speaker: that I had to put him down. I had to tell her, like, hey, I know we said we was going to get together this week. I don't know. Crypto isn't doing too well right now. I don't know what my week is going to be like. And I just want to let you know you know. I normally wouldn't say anything, but I just want to let you know so you know I'm not blowing you off. She was like, hey, if you need anything, let me know. And then she hit me up later in that day. And it was like, I was busy at work, and and I couldn't contextualize everything that you're going through. But like, if you need me, I'll drop everything. I'm right there. This is somebody like it was a bad breakup. And she was like, if you need me, you need anything, I'll drop whatever I need to do. I'll be right there for you. Because I had told her and then I said, that's you know, it's funny. It's crazy because I i literally just had to put them down.
Speaker: I'll be okay, but but thank you, I really appreciate that. And she checked in. This was somebody that I dated, and it was a bad breakup. And we were cool, not cool as in trying to work things out or anything, just like in, no matter where we would have been really good, we would have been great friends. And it was just like, hey, let's just grab a drink and catch up. And she was there.
Speaker: But I have a person that that I see two, three times a week, you know, from walking, taking, that's actually taking care of him. And it never contacted me. Yeah, that kind of blew me. So what I decided to do was I was like, this isn't really a person that I would rock with. Let me, let me create some distance.
Speaker: And in the process of creating that distance, I found relief. This is a crazy thing. I found relief in the distances that i'm that I'm creating because there was something about those relationships, and I'm talking about this one in particular, but more so of all these relationships that I've ended this year.
Speaker: all the relationships that I've ended this year. And these were all friends. These weren't people that I were dating or anything like that. These were just all friends. But all the relationships that I've ended this year, I put this boundary up where it's like you're c siphering the're siphoning off a lot of my energy and a lot of my positive energy. And the only thing I'm getting really back from you is negative energy. You're not a negative person, but it's negative energy that I'm getting back, which is disturbing my peace.
Speaker: And I didn't realize that until I created those boundaries and broke those connections with those people. And I'm so much more free, like there is a.
Speaker: There's a peace and a calm that's over me almost every day of my life now, because there's been three people this year that I've cut off, but there's been other people that I've just decided to create these boundaries with, and I'm going to deal with them on a certain way, and that's the way I'm going to deal with them. And is I've been at so much peace creating these boundaries that I think that are important in life to just create these boundaries. I ah hate to keep repeating that word, but just to create these boundaries that
Speaker: You didn't realize that you needed to create and when you create them, you'll feel this huge weight off of your shoulders because you didn't know at that particular time, you didn't know beforehand that those relationships were siphoning off your energy and just throwing you in flux. And you know it. As I'm describing it to you now, you have relationships, you get text messages from people or phone calls from people that are your friends, your family.
Speaker: loved ones, what have you. And there's this over, there's this feeling that comes over you that's just not good. And so I've been cutting these ties. There's a piece that comes over you you when you set these boundaries and God, I wish I had done it so much sooner in my life setting boundaries. So tough to do because you set a certain standard of yourself and how you interact with people and people Expect that. And then to say to them, hey, look, that person that you knew, that person that would respond to certain situations, that person that would react to certain situations, you're not going to get that person anymore. You can't get that person anymore because you are draining that person. That person can't handle it anymore. So we need to create a boundary. And these are the things we can and cannot discuss. And these are the ways that we can and cannot interact.
Speaker: I hope that you understand. I hope you can agree to that. If you cannot, I understand that we can no longer be in each other's lives because I'm telling you without this boundary, you are killing me a little bit every day and not, you know, not to be dramatic. You know, it's not like they're pour poison, they're poisoning me every day, but in a ah in a way they are.
Speaker: right In a way, they are poisoning you, poisoning your mind yeah and your spirit, which leads to the body being poisoned because of stress and anxiety of having to deal with it. I know this was a long way of going back to Darling Nikki, but as I was listening to that song last night, I was reflecting over the last 25 years of my life,
Speaker: And just the difference, the different Bruce's that have evolved, let's say every five years, right? Because that's, there was an evolution every five years. There was an awakening of some sort every five years. And and I'm just, I'm happy with, like, i I like me. I'm happy with who I am right now. That's, that's, there were always questions of if I, if I,
Speaker: if I was really truly happy with myself. And the reason why is because I always knew deep down aside some of the things I was doing with some dirt bag bullshit and that you couldn't be a good person and do the things that I did. And all I ever wanted to be is a good person.
Speaker: So when people ask me, you know are you a good person? I say trying to be. I will never give myself the label. Other people will say that. And I always say, I'm trying to be. That's each day. I'm just trying to be better than the next. But the growth over the last 25 years, I'm really proud of. I'm really happy that I am the man that I am today.
Speaker: I'm happy that I'm still consistently growing because here I am about to turn 44. And finally, after 43 years, setting boundaries and I couldn't be more at peace with the decisions that I've made because they're not haphazard decisions. They're not jerk and knee reaction decisions. These are well thought out.
Speaker: well -calculated decisions that I've made in my life. And yeah, I'm at real peace. Do I need to create more boundaries? I do. Like I said, I'm not at total peace. And I don't know if you can ever really, truly be at total peace, because there's always going to be a disturbance. But there are some situations where it's just like, OK, this is a drain. I'm not looking forward to it. I'm actually dreading it.
Speaker: I need to have a conversation with this person. Either things are going to change or I need to cut this person out of my life. And I'm just really grateful that I'm finally at that point of making sure that I'm not pleasing everybody to sacrifice myself, that I'm trying to be the best person that I can, but I'm being the best person that I can to myself And this long -winded point I'm trying to make is this. Be a friend to yourself. You'll feel so much better and so much happier in the long run.
Speaker: So that was my growth. I'm still growing. Still trying to improve, still trying to better myself. That never changes. This next clip is ah another talking straight -ish clip of a show that was released on March 16th, 2023. So these two clips are a year apart. These aren't the entire shows. These are clips from those particular shows. And I tell a really interesting story about what happened with me when I was at the gym. And all I can say is
Speaker: I don't wanna be a TikTok creeper. That's all I wanna be is not be a TikTok creeper. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to Talking Straight -ish, that shit with Bruce Anthony. And um I'm not gonna go on a rant, but it's gonna be kind of like a rumble.
Speaker: about something that happened to me at the gym today. And I think overall it's something I want to talk about on the main show. I want to get with a fitness professional. Yes, I am a fitness professional. Let me rephrase that. I want to get with a female that's a fitness professional that isn't really connected to me. I think I have an idea who I want to interview. I just need to reach out to them.
Speaker: But, so I'm in the gym today and I'm working out. and I'm hitting hard today. I'm hitting shoulders and traps. And that's one thing about me when I'm hitting up a body in the gym, I get that muscle pump. Shit look good. I ain't gonna lie. I've been looking in there and I'd be like, damn, who are you? Adonis Creed? Who are you? Michael B. Jordan with no hair? Nevertheless,
Speaker: So I'm in the gym today and I'm working on it. I'm sitting at a bench and a personal trainer that I that i know in there, I don't know them, but like they've been the same personal trainer for as long as I've been going to that gym and ah or at least for the last five or six years. Like I know who they are. I just don't know them personally. Very attractive female.
Speaker: Very attractive. Like if my bestie saw her, and I know my bestie is watching this episode. If you saw her, you'd be like, that's absolutely your type. But I know never to cross the line in the gym because I've done it before. In this particular gym that I'm going to, I've done it at this particular particular gym because I've been going to this particular gym off at horn since two thousand and I messed with somebody back in the day at that gym and things didn't work out, you know?
Speaker: all you know And i could never go back I couldn't go back to that gym for a while. When I mean a while, I mean like three years. It's a long time, right? So I'm not going to shit where I work out. I like that gym. I don't feel like switching gyms. It's right across the street from my place. I'm not leaving that gym. So I'm not going to mess with this young lady.
Speaker: But anyway, we wave to issues we wave to each other, say hi to each other every time that we see each other. It's just about every day. And she was training somebody. And she comes up to me and she was like, hey, do you mind if we train right here? I'm like, no, no, of course, go ahead. And right here is literally right behind the bench that I'm working out at.
Speaker: Do they have other places that they can work out? Yeah. I don't know why they chose this one particular spot. The ego in me said she wanted to be up close because she saw I was getting it in and them shoulders and traps was looking fantastic. That's the ego. Realistically, they were just trying to find space and that was the best available space to the equipment that they needed to use.
Speaker: which was just dumbbells. So I think I'm disproving my own point because they could use it anyway. Anyway, said it wasn't going to be golf on a tangent. It was going to be a rumble. So they're working out. And once again, this personal trainer is absolutely my type. And when I say my type, she got that macabre cow cow cow. It means her body is crazy. She got on tights.
Speaker: I'm not trying to be one of them TikTok dudes, right? I'm not trying to get caught looking at women. While I'm in the gym anyway, I'm very, very respectful of women in general. I don't go up there and critique them in their exercises unless they're about to hurt themselves.
Speaker: You know, I don't sit there and try and spit game at any of the women, because once again, I'm not trying to ruin where I worked out. Because ultimately, things are not going to work out, right? So I don't want to ruin the gym that I love. And there's always this this negative connotation with guys in the gym and creepiness. And there's a TikTok epidemic, trend epidemic, where theyre these women are calling out these guys. Sometimes the guys are being creepy. Sometimes the guys aren't being creepy.
Speaker: That's kind of what I want to talk to about a fitness professional as a female that I don't know that's working in the gym. But I'm not trying to get caught looking at her. So I'm steadily in my phone during my breaks or I'm looking down or I'm i'm directly in front of a mirror so I can see behind me and I can see them working out. At the same time, there's this woman that comes over and works out to the left of me.
Speaker: Cause she had chose a different spot. Yes, she could have, but she's coming to work out to the left of me. And she got that cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow, cow. Like she looked better than the train. Well, one particular, she has one asset.
Speaker: that looks better than a trainer. And I mean, it's a hell of an asset. So she's working out. So I got it behind me. I got it on the left of me. All I can do is look at the right of me, which is a dude or in front of me and down or at my phone. So ah I'm trapped because I'm not moving from my area because it's hard as hell to get a bench in there and I'm using the bench for 40 minutes, right? Because it's all,
Speaker: state stationaries ah sitting down shoulder presses and I'm tired right my shoulders are screaming so I got this girl over here with the huge assets I got this girl behind me with a number of nice assets and I'm trying not to look at them In the middle of all that, the trainer walks up to the girl on my left with the huge assets. Her name is Huge Assets. The trainer walks up to the girl with the huge assets. Of course they're wearing tights, and of course they're wearing tights that are riding up their ass. Did I catch some glasses? Absolutely I caught some glasses. What do you think this is? You think I wasn't going to catch no glasses? I caught glasses.
Speaker: but I would sneak with, I would stealth with my glasses. You gotta to be quick, you gotta be quick. I'm James Bond and catching looks in the gym. You ain't gonna catch me, right? So I peep that both of their types are riding up their ass. You know how the girls like to do, they ride up the crack of their ass.
Speaker: So the trainer walks up to the girl with the huge assets, and they she starts complimenting and on her ass, and they're looking at it, and they're kind of touching each other, and they're doing stuff in the mirror. I shit you not. I'm thinking to myself, this has gotta to be a damn setup. This has gotta be a setup. There's a camera around here somewhere, somebody's gonna catch me, glimpse it, and I'm trying not to. I'm peeping it out the corner of my eye, but I'm not turning my head to look at it. What I should have done,
Speaker: What I should have done is just absolutely bring attention to him like, hey, y 'all trying to get me on this TikTok? Like, y 'all ain't gonna catch me. And like, go ahead. Go ahead with yourself. Like, go ahead and do it someplace else. You ain't gotta be right here with me. They finish. They eventually leave. I finish my workout.
Speaker: and But there's so many things that I want to talk to, talk about that. Like one, I often see women look at the themselves in the mirror. Hell, I look at myself in the mirror. I'm not blaming anybody for that. like You go to work out. Look, I will be honest. Yes, I'm a fitness professional. I do not work out at the gym to be healthy. That's my product of it. I work out at the gym.
Speaker: to look good. That's the reason why. It's the aesthetics, right? So I'm checking myself out to make sure to see if I look good. And right now I'm in my cut phase because it was at the winter time, you know, I had to wear tight clothing or or less clothing or shorts and t -shirts. It's about to get into that weather of time. So I'm starting to tight things up.
Speaker: But I understand women looking at themselves. I understand people looking at themselves. There's nothing wrong with that. And you know what, ladies? There's nothing wrong with you wearing those tights. Do you, Boo Boo? I heard they're very comfortable. I often, because I have a fat ass, I often have a wedgie in the gym. but this by accident. It's just because my tights are riding on my ass. It's very uncomfortable for me. And I notice it when I get up that I have a wedgie and it's like I kind of shake my legs a little bit to shake the wedgie out because I don't want to pick at the wedgie. And it's not cool with me, but like I get it, like they say it's comfortable. OK. You ain't got to tell me if it's comfortable for you. If you like it, I love it. That's all I got to say.
Speaker: And I do love it, because I love the aesthetics of it. It makes and makes women that don't have nice assets make it look like they got nice assets. And look, I'm all for it. I have an issue with this TikTok trend. And are there some guys that's creepy? Absolutely. There's an older guy, I say older, older than me, that goes to the gym with me.
Speaker: And like of course I look at women when I'm at the gym. I look at women. like If you're attractive, I'm gonna look at you. if If you got a nice body, I'm gonna look at you.
Speaker: That is what it is. I don't leer. That's kind of creepy. But this guy, like there was a young lady,
Speaker: working out, and she is very attractive. Like, top to bottom, she's even cute, she's very sweet, she's a very nice person. I've said hello in passing to her, she's just very nice.
Speaker: And he's, like, I see her working out down there, and I'm not gonna stare at her, because I see her in here all the time. She's about getting that workout on. And yeah, she probably knows how good she looks, and she probably like,
Speaker: I like the aesthetics of it. She probably wants attention from people that she wants attention from. I'm thinking that this person that is laring at her, the guy that I know that's older than me, is not one of those people that she wants attention from. But I'm also learning that Sometimes what women want is different. I mean, he's not a bad looking guy. He's aged really well for himself. He's just a little creepy. He wants to hang out with me and I'm like, yeah I don't really want to hang out with you. I don't know what the hell we're going to talk about. Like, we've got nothing to comment except for this girl who we both agree is attractive. But he comes up to me and he's like, man, she bad as hell. And he's kind of loud. And it's like.
Speaker: Bro, if you want to talk to her, if you want to get to ah get her attention, just go up and talk to her. Like, youin' got you got a lot of kick it. Just go and talk to her, right? Like, don't make things weird. I understand females calling out males that are doing that. Like, I know when I'm getting stared at the at the gym, it is very uncomfortable.
Speaker: it is very uncomfortable. That is a small, small, small percentage of the time that I'm getting layered at compared to any woman, anywhere, right? I'm not saying I have understanding. Maybe a small fraction of it, what I do have is absolute empathy because I know when I'm getting stared at, but even by somebody that I don't mind getting stared at, it's uncomfortable.
Speaker: right like it's uncomfortable and yeah women are wearing those tights but if they're comfortable in it that's not a reason for a guy out of the air like he can't use it as an excuse she's wearing those tights she want me to look no motherfucker she's just wearing them because they're comfortable and maybe she wants you to look maybe she doesn't want you to look me ain't got to be creepy about it right so I am not against calling those guys out at all. Some of these TikToks though, guys are not doing that. Guys are looking around because it's the gym and you just kind of look around and what the fuck are you supposed to do when in between your sets? Right? In your rest periods, what are you supposed to do? I bury my head in my phone. And here's what's funny.
Speaker: I bury my head in my phone and at my gym, they have an Instagram account and their Instagram account posts all the lives that people like mark their location as the gym on, on, on their Instagram account. I've seen.
Speaker: reels and photos with me in the background with me either pushing through a workout or with me with my head in the phone, right? So this thing that I'm talking about where I was nervous of getting caught looking at these two women with these assets right near me is a possibility. It's a strong possibility because people are taking pictures of themselves. I do not go to the influencer gym. I will never go there because I don't go to work out to be seen.
Speaker: I work out so that I can be seen. Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't go to the gym to be seen. I work out for the results to later be seen. So, yeah, no, that scares me. And I thought I was gonna get hit up for the Okeydoke. And I pulled the trainer's card out as I was leaving. I was like, y 'all was trying to get me for the Okeydoke. Like, what was that shit going on? She was like, there was no cameras around. I'm like,
Speaker: Come on now. Come on now. she And then she was like, I don't mind that that people look. I was like, well, OK, that's good. you know Some women out there, they they do mind. And I get it. I get it. Because once again, just that small small fraction of percentage of time that I've had people stare at me, it's not cool.
Speaker: What is also not cool is being called out for shit on TikTok. I'm not talking about me personally, because that hasn't happened to me. But what's not cool personally, not personally, not personally, but personally to me, what's not cool is being called out looking at people who are attractive or you think are attractive. Or you're not even looking at them and people are making believe that you are.
Speaker: So, what's the point I'm trying to make? Yo, going to the gym almost sucks sometimes, but the results feel great. Yeah, I'm gonna keep going to the gym. Plus, like I said, I'm the James Bond of this stuff looking. I'm gonna keep it looking. And hopefully, I'll never get caught on TikTok. Once again, you can join our Patreon page at patreon dot .com backslash unsolicitedperspectives. There's a link on our website at unsolicitedperspectives .com.
Speaker: Once again, you can get Talking Straight -ish for $5 a month. You can get After Hours Uncensored for $5 a month. You can get both shows for $9 a month. We're going to start to do some live streaming once we have more people signed up and subscribed for that. But yeah, that's our Patreon. And like I said, it's Uncensored and, you know,
Speaker: got You gotta, you gotta just check it out. Even if you just sign up for a month. We got a lot of shows on there, so freedom check them out. But, like always, thank you for listening. great peterta Thank you for watching. And until next time, as always, a holla.
Speaker: actually watch our video podcast. But the real party is on our Patreon page. After Hours Uncensored and Talking Straight -ish After Hours was Uncensored is another show with my sister. And once again, the key word there is uncensored. Those are exclusively on our Patreon page.
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