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05. How Human Design Gave Me Permission to Be Myself: Breaking Down My Design
44 Plays2 years ago
Welcome friend! If you are new to Human Design, start here! In this week's episode I discuss what HD is and how it can help give you permission to be yourself. I break down my own design and discuss each Center, giving real life examples of how this shows up in my life and what lessons I've learned from embracing my true nature.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'It's Happening For Me' Podcast
00:00:01
Speaker
Hello, my friend. Welcome to the It's Happening For Me podcast. If you're obsessed with all things spirituality, personal growth and development, and living as your highest self, you are in the right place.
Alyssa's Journey of Self-Discovery
00:00:14
Speaker
I am your host, Alyssa, and I spent the majority of my teenage years and young 20s living totally out of climate. As I started to question my patterns and behaviors and actually got to know myself at the soul level, I realized that everything was happening for me.
Mission as a Spiritual Life Coach
00:00:30
Speaker
Now, as a spiritual life coach and human design guide, I am here to share my voice, personal stories, human design wisdom, and learn from incredible individuals living their purpose. Join me each week as we walk the spiral path of purpose together. I cannot wait to dive in.
00:00:57
Speaker
Hello, my friends. I am so excited to get into today's topic about human design and where to really start when you are first on this journey. Well, whether you're just learning about it or you've been on the journey for a while, I think this will be a refreshing take on human design.
Anxiety of Self-Definition and Societal Norms
00:01:15
Speaker
So have you ever had the awkward experience where someone asks you, so tell me about yourself.
00:01:23
Speaker
you know, like whether it's like on a first date or in a job interview or you're meeting a new friend at yoga class or you're in a college class or you are going to dinner on a double date and that dreaded question of, oh my gosh, so tell me about yourself.
00:01:49
Speaker
I remember I used to hate that question. I used to also hate the question of like, what do you like to do for fun or what kind of music do you listen to? Who are your favorite bands and artists? And I remember like my mind would literally go blank whenever somebody would ask me that.
00:02:09
Speaker
I don't fucking know. I don't know what kind of music I listen to. I'd rather just show you my Spotify playlist so you can see who I listen to. So if you've ever hated that dreaded question, I feel you. And I feel like it wasn't until I really got to know myself at the soul level, especially through human design, until I was able to
00:02:34
Speaker
really confidently answer that question. And I think another reason is because the human brain, the lower brain is designed to look for negatives and to scan things that are wrong. And so a lot of times I think we're stuck in comparison mode or we're looking at like, where am I not adding up in society? I think another reason the question of like, tell me about yourself is so uncomfortable is because there is this like underlying
00:03:04
Speaker
belief and like major societal belief in society that we are supposed to be following this certain path, right? Like you're supposed to go to college. You're supposed to get a great job. You're supposed to get married. You're supposed to have kids. You're supposed to buy a house. You're supposed to become
Understanding Human Design
00:03:24
Speaker
very successful. You're supposed to make a lot of money and then you're supposed to retire. And it's like, if you don't follow that
00:03:32
Speaker
guidelines that I don't even know who the hell created for us. It's like those questions of asking like, so what do you do? Or tell me about yourself can be so intimidating and uncomfortable, especially if you're not following that path that society has put out for us.
00:03:49
Speaker
And so even answering the question of like, what do you do? Like maybe you're not doing what you love to do for a living, or maybe you don't feel like you're successful right now, or maybe you don't own a home, you don't have kids, maybe you don't even want to have kids. But there's still this pressure from like family members and society and colleagues and peers to be on this same page.
00:04:12
Speaker
And so what I really love about human design is it gives us the opportunity to say like, screw all of that, like screw the conditioning, forget this shoulds or the way things are supposed to be. And let's strip away all of these masks that we're wearing to try to fit in and to try to be like everybody else and be accepted and be liked and be validated. And let's really look at who we are at the sole level and who we were designed to be.
00:04:38
Speaker
And let's take all of the things about ourselves that might not fit into these boxes of what success looks like or how we should function or we should compare or add up to and let's actually really celebrate the parts of ourselves that are unique and different and.
00:04:55
Speaker
Once i started really like looking at myself from this beautiful lens of human design i really fell in love with myself and i have so much self acceptance and self trust that i know i'm on the right path and even when i.
00:05:11
Speaker
get off course. I know what I'm getting off course because I understand what the shadow sides and aspects of my personality are. I understand when I'm not acting like myself. I understand when I'm kind of operating or behaving from these lower frequencies of my design. And then it's simple. It's just data. It's just information. And then I can go back on course very easily instead of always being confused or
00:05:36
Speaker
asking other people for advice and just wondering, am I actually doing what I'm supposed to do with my life?
Human Design and Relationships
00:05:41
Speaker
It's like, oh, I'm just literally living my design. And that is perfect and beautiful. So if that sounds interesting, let's dive into human design. So human design is really the science of differentiation. Okay, so it is a system that is composed of
00:06:02
Speaker
ancient, ancient spiritual modalities combined with science and modern modalities and things like quantum physics. So each of us has a body graph which is like a soul blueprint and it is based off of systems like astrology, the I Ching,
00:06:23
Speaker
the chakra system, the tree of life from the Kabbalah, and quantum physics. And it is based off of your birth information, so the date and place of birth. And essentially how it works is the exact moment that you're born
00:06:39
Speaker
the exact place that your soul decided to be born into, you are imprinted with information from neutrinos, which are essentially stardust. These stardust come from all of the planets and they carry information that essentially imprints
00:06:57
Speaker
into our being and this is what gives us our different personality traits and this information is what really pinpoints our intrinsic nature. It shows us what makes us tick. It details the sorts of people that you're going to click with in your life and the kinds of environments that bring out your best qualities.
00:07:19
Speaker
It's going to reveal your true self's underlying nature, what your preferences are, your personality traits, strengths, weaknesses, abilities, dynamics, and built-in chemistry. And it's going to remind you of the needs and feelings that you're either celebrating or resisting in your day to day life. It also explains how you can make decisions that foster happiness and fulfillment. So all of this comes from your unique design. And as you start to experiment with your design and start to actually make decisions and operate from this place of
00:07:49
Speaker
honoring like your sole blueprint. It's going to really impact your relationships and friendships because it really determines the dynamics between people and it allows you to see where the energy is conflicting or where you guys have a lot of things in common or where you have nothing in common. It really impacts the family and home life. It explains differences between siblings and it highlights the practical and emotional interactions between parents and child, husband and wife.
00:08:18
Speaker
In the workplace, it illustrates how the employers or clients are different in their natural abilities. And it's a vital tool for improving the collective productivity. In the classroom, it shows teachers the capability of each student and how to bring out the best of each child. And on the social scene, it makes you aware of the magnetisms at play and why you're drawn to certain people and repelled by others.
00:08:43
Speaker
So human design, it's not a personal development tool that's just here to give you more information or just give you useless facts about yourself. It's literally here to help you tune into who you are at the soul level and so that you can start to have deep relationships with everyone in your life. So it's super impactful, not just for you, but everyone else in your life as well.
00:09:05
Speaker
When I first heard about human design, it was actually from my mom who had a human design reading from one of her friends.
00:09:14
Speaker
And she had amazing experience. She told me all about it, recommended it to me, and I still wasn't really drawn to it. I was like, oh, that sounds great, but I'm not really interested. And then I ended up kind of learning more about it through Instagram. I think this was two to three years ago. And I started getting a little more interested. And then I was like, okay, you know what? I think it's time. I feel called to reach out for a
Alyssa's Exposure and Learning in Human Design
00:09:38
Speaker
reading. So I reached out to her friend and had a reading. That's my first professional reading.
00:09:42
Speaker
And it was incredible. I felt so seen, so validated. She told me things about myself that I never even really knew how to put into words or how to explain about myself. And I was just like, oh my gosh, this is crazy. This makes so much sense.
00:09:59
Speaker
So then I kind of forgot about it. More time passed and I ended up enrolling in Dharma Coaching Institute and I got my spiritual life coaching certification. And one of the modules in our training was human design. And so I kind of dove deeper into it. I learned a lot more. And again, I was like, Oh my gosh, like it felt like a soul resonance. It felt like this is what has been missing in my life. This is what,
00:10:28
Speaker
has been missing and how I want to coach people. You know, like, I really loved the idea of being a life coach. But what I love about human design is it is like a freaking cheat code to your soul and to your spiritual path because it shows you exactly where your shadows are. It shows you exactly where your not self themes are, where you're kind of acting from a place of conditioning.
00:10:55
Speaker
It shows you where you have the most potential to be conditioned from your society, from your peer group, from your culture. And then it also really shows you exactly where your gifts are, exactly what is so unique and special about you. And it just highlights so much that I think that you could try to learn about yourself over time through personal growth and development. But I mean, I had already been on the personal growth and development
00:11:23
Speaker
journey for years reading all the books and taking all the courses and programs and like I had never came across anything like human design. I studied astrology for a while and really loved studying my birth chart and like understanding where I had different planetary placements and like what it meant to be in different houses and I really loved that. But what I really loved about human design is that it incorporates all of that astrology
00:11:49
Speaker
Plus, it incorporates so much more and it gives you actual real life tangible tools on how you can make decisions for yourself, learn to really trust yourself, trust your intuition, how you're here to really operate with other people and create opportunities that are in alignment. It really helps you with relationships and career and purpose.
00:12:13
Speaker
I just fell in love. After studying more about it in my certification for life coaching, I got another reading from a peer of mine from Dharma Coaching Institute. That was my second professional reading.
Benefits of Professional Human Design Readings
00:12:28
Speaker
Again, I just learned so much about myself. It was really freaking cool to do it from
00:12:34
Speaker
two different people because they're telling me the same information but it's filtered through their energy and so it's like whatever they thought was most important came through and obviously I had different connections with both of them they were both incredible and just both different and so I highly recommend when you're first starting out on your journey or whether you've been studying this for a while I always recommend to get professional readings
00:12:59
Speaker
especially from like different people, just from people that you resonate with, because all of us have our own unique way of sharing the information and sharing what we think is important. And so there's different things are going to come through for each reading. Obviously, it's still the same, like it's your body graph that is being interpreted. So it's like the information itself isn't changing. But it's just really fun to learn from different people who have different styles of coaching and different styles of really sharing the information. So
00:13:30
Speaker
Once I got that second reading, I was like, okay, this is it. I'm so drawn to this. This is just making me feel so seen. So I ended up signing up for HG School with Katie Irvine. And so I learned the entire system. I was like, I don't just want to know about my own design. I want to know about the system. I want to understand
00:13:51
Speaker
all of the types. I want to understand all of the strategies, the authorities. I want to understand all of the channels, all of the gates. I want to understand everything about it so that I can interpret this for other people because it was the most life-changing thing for me and so I wanted to be able to share this beautiful
00:14:12
Speaker
information and experience with other people. And so I did that. And now I'm just on my journey of, you know, really growing my reading business and sharing these readings with other people.
Teaching Human Design: Challenges and Approach
00:14:25
Speaker
And again, I had done different
00:14:28
Speaker
coaching practices or different coaching containers in the past, but nothing felt as lit as human design because it's like, I can go in and just tell you literally, like read your chart to you, tell you about your soul blueprint. You, it's nothing new. It's not like information that you've never heard before. It's like so soul resonant that you're like, Oh my God, like,
00:14:55
Speaker
you walk away feeling so seen and so understood and such a breath of fresh air and a permission slip to just be yourself. So that is where I kind of like started with my journey and where I'm at now is like I'm really like growing my reading business and it's something I just absolutely love to do. Okay, so I, oh my gosh, I have tried probably like three times right now to sit down and record like
00:15:25
Speaker
a human design intro podcast episode where I talk about the type strategy and authorities or what you should look at when you're first learning about your human design. And honestly, it has been like, it's been so difficult because I'm just not interested in doing that. And so I'm like sitting here like, why am I forcing myself trying to talk about something that like I don't want to do? And when I really think about it,
00:15:56
Speaker
What I personally love to do is I love to
00:16:01
Speaker
go deep into somebody's specific human design. I love the one-on-one readings where I'm researching deep into your design and then we get to sit down and I get to present you with this beautiful ebook that I created and we go over everything and we go back and forth and talk about things. And as I'm explaining to you different types of your design, it's resonating and then you're getting excited or lit up or
00:16:27
Speaker
you have questions or you want to comment on it and tell me more. And then I like respond to that energy and it just freaking ignites me and I have all this energy and two hours can feel like 20 minutes and I am obsessed. But right now this is like I've never, I've never recorded classes or anything about human design or I've never tried to sit down and teach it.
00:16:50
Speaker
Like the system to someone and i realize that me sitting down trying to record this episode of like. Teaching the system and going over all of the types and all of the strategies and all of the authorities even though it's like the basic information.
00:17:05
Speaker
I'm so tired and I hate it. I'm literally dreading this. It's not fun. I keep having to start over because I don't like how things are going. I know that I'm not in flow and I know that I'm more in my mind because I'm trying to think about how can I frame this to make sense to someone who's just learning about human design. The more that I think about it,
00:17:29
Speaker
I, at this point, don't want to be a human design teacher. I don't want to teach the system. That doesn't excite me. What I like to do is have that one-on-one connection and get this interaction and response from the person on the other side receiving it. That's what's really fun for me. I'm like, wait, why am I forcing myself to try to record this episode and teach it where that's not even
00:17:58
Speaker
what my design wants to do. So what I decided to do, because I really do want to get this episode out today and I want to make it like the most unique and in a way that really lights me up. And so I was like, Hey, I'm just going to sit down and, and kind of share my design with you and things that I've learned about myself through the design and like how it's helped me in my life. And I was like, why didn't I think about that from the beginning?
00:18:21
Speaker
I think too as a generator, I really like diving into one specific person's design and going deep into that instead of trying to like surface level, give a general idea about all of the types charging authorities and centers ETC. So anyways, I'm pivoting. This
Alyssa's Personal Insights and Generator Type
00:18:42
Speaker
feels good. It's Sunday. I am committing to getting this episode out today. It is now 4, 10 PM.
00:18:50
Speaker
editing takes me the longest. So let's get into it. Okay. I am going to kind of tell you about myself through my human design chart. So I have my human design chart here. And I'm just going to kind of go over it. And this is this is things that
00:19:10
Speaker
I can just see from my chart that feels so deeply resonant to my soul that some things I, a lot of things I've already known about myself, but I didn't really know how to explain it, how to put it into words. There's a lot of things that I have released a lot of shame and guilt around for not being like other people and actually realizing that this is a huge gift in my chart. And so let's just get into it. So I am a 2-4 generator.
00:19:40
Speaker
And my incarnation cross is the right angle cross of penetration. So what does that mean? I'm a generator. So I'm here to really love and be lit up by my work and the things that I'm here to do in life. I'm here to love the food I eat. I'm here to love the friendships I have. I'm here to be obsessed with the work that I do. I'm here to have the sustainable life force energy for my sacral and do things that light me up.
00:20:09
Speaker
I have a warm and enveloping aura. And so anytime that I'm interacting with people, whether that is someone at the grocery store or someone like a waiter or a server or a family member or someone at work, a peer, a friend, my energy is warm and enveloping. And so I really do pride myself on being very welcoming and like
00:20:35
Speaker
I really do like making other people feel good and my energy is just like kind of this warm hug. Now, if I'm in a bad mood, this enveloping aura can also envelop other people with a bad mood. So it's not just always positive love and light. It's like if I'm in a bad mood, other people can also feel it because my energy is, it envelops other auras around me.
00:20:59
Speaker
Now my two for profile. So the two is the hermit. It is the genius. I love to spend a lot of time alone. I love to be in my own energy. I like to step back, step away from other people and recharge in my solitude. I really love to learn and go deep and like be deep in my studies and other people recognize me for the gifts that I have. And then they call me back out
00:21:25
Speaker
into the world, back out into my communities. And that is when I kind of go back out. The four in my profile is the opportunist. It is the person who loves relationships. So relationships are so important to me, like networking and not like in a gross like marketing networking way, but in a way where like I truly like am here to have opportunities come to me through people that know me.
00:21:49
Speaker
So I'm not necessarily here to influence strangers, but I more have opportunities that come to me through people who know me, who recognize my gifts and like my energy, and I can make connections and meet people through other people. And so when my relationships aren't in a good place or when I'm not investing in my community and having friendships and having relationships with my coworkers,
00:22:14
Speaker
then I don't feel good. I don't feel complete because that is something that is so important to my soul. Now, as a generator, I am not here to initiate opportunities like a manifestor. I'm not here to force things to go out and just create new things and just penetrate my way into the world. No, I'm here to respond to things that
00:22:37
Speaker
light up my sacral and then go from
Sacral Responses and Decision-Making
00:22:40
Speaker
there. And I'll have the sustainable energy to make things happen from that sacral response. And so as a generator, this is actually really, really beneficial and amazing because it's like we have this built-in compass that lets us know what opportunities are correct for us and which opportunities are not. So a sacral response, your sacral center is kind of like right below your belly button.
00:23:06
Speaker
And it's going to be this feeling in your body when you're responding to something that will let you know if you want to do it or not. And it doesn't make logical sense. And so if you're trying to make decisions, for me, if I'm trying to make decisions from my mind or from what I think I should do, what I think I should do that might get me further along, that might make someone happy with me. If I'm making decisions that way,
00:23:30
Speaker
And it's actually a no in my body. Like it's like, oh, like I don't want to do this, but okay, I'm going to do this because I think I should. I'm not going to have the sustainable life force energy to do it, to complete it. And I'm actually probably going to be very burnt out and be in a bad mood when I'm doing it. So it's actually beneficial for everyone around me to only do things when I actually am like lit up by them.
00:23:52
Speaker
Now, that's not to say that there's going to be parts of my day or parts of my job that I have to do things I don't want to do. Obviously, we all have to do things that we don't want to do if we want to move our businesses forward, if we want to move our life forward, if we want to keep our environments and house clean. There's things that we have to do that we don't want to do all the time.
00:24:12
Speaker
really important for the majority of things that I'm here to do. I'm supposed to feel lit up by the food I'm eating. I'm supposed to really enjoy my food. If I am cooking something or doing a recipe because I'm trying to lose weight on my fitness journey and so I'm finding recipes that I think I should eat because they're healthy,
00:24:34
Speaker
but I don't actually like the foods that are in that dish. I'm not going to want to eat it. Like I've done this so many times when I've like meal prepped, when I've been on my fitness journey, I've meal prepped meals that I thought I should do because they're healthy. And then I literally will get to work and like, I just won't eat it sometimes because I'm like, this is disgusting. My sacral is not lit up by this. It's a no in my body. It's a ew, no.
00:24:59
Speaker
And like, I just waste money doing that. So what I've learned to do is think about foods that I really love to eat that my sacral is like, yes. Oh my gosh. Like I want this. Like if you're a sacral being, you know what I'm talking about. If you're tuned into your sacral, like there's certain foods that you're like, like, yes. Like you just make the noises. You're like, like those foods. I meal prep based on foods I really like, like that. And then I'll get excited to eat it and I'll actually eat it. It'll be sustainable. I'll be in a good mood.
00:25:29
Speaker
Another great example is if I am asked to do something, maybe an opportunity comes up where I'm asked to do an extra project at work. And in my body, I'm like, my body's telling me like, no, it feels like instead of feeling expansive and like lit up and excited,
00:25:50
Speaker
It feels like dreadful, boring. It feels like, ugh, like that feels like so much hard work. Like it's just like an instant, like, ugh, like restriction, retraction. But, so my body in my circle is telling me no. Say no to this opportunity.
00:26:06
Speaker
But my mind is like, okay, but if I say yes, then this will get me more opportunities down the line. Then they'll actually get to see that I'm so good at this skill and this will help me get something that I want later on. Or maybe if I say no, then they might not consider me for another opportunity, or they might not think I'm a team player, or they might just think that
00:26:29
Speaker
like, I want to be the best. And if I say no, then it looks like I'm not the best. Like, anytime that you're in your head and as a sacral being and we're trying to justify our answers and go against what our sacral says, you're going to find out real quick that you don't have the sustainable energy to actually finish that and it's going to feel like shit.
Content Creation and Inspiration Challenges
00:26:49
Speaker
It's going to be like regenerating, like degenerating energy, like
00:26:52
Speaker
You're going to, every time you go to work on it, like you're going to not want to work on it. It's just going to feel so yucky, so dreadful. And that's just wasting your precious life force energy when you could just be doing things you actually want to do. And this is not easy. Like once you learn your human design and you start going through the deconditioning process, which is where you start to actually experiment with your design and stop listening to your mind and actually go with what your body wants you to do. It's so hard, especially if you've been
00:27:20
Speaker
people-pleasing for years if you've been living.
00:27:23
Speaker
for the expectations of other people and like really living from this mind of like what you think you should be and should do, it's not easy to start saying no to things and to only accept opportunities that you really wanna do. And so just be gentle with yourself. And even if you commit to doing things that were actually a no in your sake, girl, just notice how you feel and just notice the energy that you don't have to do it and keep that as data for next time that something like this comes up and it'll make you actually really wanna
00:27:53
Speaker
listen to your authority, which is your sacral authority because you just know that it just felt so yucky.
00:27:59
Speaker
So another example that this has really played out in my life as a coach and as someone who's building a conscious business is there's a lot of times where I'll sit down and I'll just sit down and think, okay, I have two hours. I need to create content. I need to create some sort of idea for a masterclass and I will sit down and I have the energy to do it. And I'll create a whole masterclass, a whole PowerPoint on Canva,
00:28:25
Speaker
And then later I'll be like, Oh my God, I don't even want to finish this. I don't want to put this out there because I wasn't responding to something that like really excited me or lit me up. It was more like I was creating.
00:28:37
Speaker
from my mind and from a place of lack. Like, oh, I don't have enough content. So I need to just come up with something. Let's just grind it out. Let's just do it. That wasn't really an inspired place. And it's not something that my soul actually wanted to bring forth. And so I was actually just wasting a lot of time and I literally have a Canva full of master classes, PowerPoints,
00:28:59
Speaker
content that I will never put out because it's just not what my soul actually wanted to do. Again, it was coming from a place of the mind and so it's just not great content. However, if I get really excited by some post that I saw or maybe I had a reading with a client and the way that they explained how their
00:29:20
Speaker
emotional authority worked, like really lit me up. And it was this new way that I wanted to explain it and create content around that. And then maybe I come up with a masterclass around authorities because I just felt so inspired and lit up by that idea for my sacral, then that would be something worth sitting down and spending the time on because I'm actually going to bring that forth into the world. And it's using my sacral life force energy in a way that feels
Undefined Centers and External Energy Reception
00:29:42
Speaker
good. So that's how I can kind of tell the difference. So looking at my chart,
00:29:48
Speaker
I have, moving on to the centers, I have six undefined centers and three defined centers. I thought it'd be cool just to start from the top down and explain a little bit about myself based on these centers.
00:30:09
Speaker
So I have the head center undefined. Also, just a quick note, I have so many human design books that I absolutely love. The one I'm going to be referencing the most today is Human Design, Discover the Person You Were Born to Be from Chitan Parken. So I will put that in the show notes if you're interested in this book. But yeah, I just want to put that out there. That's kind of what I'm like referencing. And I'm also referencing my own human design chart. So
00:30:34
Speaker
Let's start with the head center. I have an undefined head center. This is also called the crown center. This is the center responsible for inspiration. If you think of it from a spiritual lens, our crown's chakra is at the top of our head and that is where divine downloads come in. That is where inspiration from source, inspiration from the cosmos, God comes into our being.
00:31:02
Speaker
The head center is really the receptor for the body receiving inspiration from above. So this center is responsible for truth, doubt, possibilities. All of these can emerge from the center. Mine is undefined, which means I don't have my own consistent energy here. I actually take in the energy of the defined heads around me and I amplify their information. So this can feel like
00:31:29
Speaker
inspiration just pops into my head at weird times. It's like wherever I go, I find inspiration from different people that I'm with, different situations I'm in. I have inspiration from podcasts I'll listen to or from shows that I'm watching or people that I'm hanging out with. And that's because I am open to the conditioning of other designs. So I'm very influenced by their inspiration.
00:31:53
Speaker
This can lead me to have my head spinning of so much inspiration, so many thoughts, because it's always coming in from people around me. And so what's super important for me is to have a very consistent meditation practice to where I allow myself to sit in my own energy and allow myself to have the thoughts come and go and come to a place where I'm just focusing on like a single focus centered
00:32:23
Speaker
thing like my breath. This is something that's very important for me because I can just constantly be so caught up in my head from all of these thoughts and inspirations that it can become very overwhelming and I can get really caught up in the doubt. However, something that is really cool
00:32:39
Speaker
is that this is actually where I have a lot of wisdom to be so open to inspiration. The shadow side of this is, am I spending so much time thinking about the dilemmas or ideas of other people? So if I'm trying to answer other people's questions all the time, I'm not actually focusing on myself and what I need to do to move my business forward, what I need to do to help my relationship, what I need to do to be a better
00:33:04
Speaker
daughter, friend, business owner. It's like I am so influenced by all of the thoughts and ideas from everyone around me that I need to give myself time to cut off. I need to have my time to meditate. I need to make sure that I don't look at my phone for the first hour in the morning because I don't want to be inundated by everyone else's stuff. Okay, cool.
00:33:29
Speaker
So the next one down is the mind and my mind is also or the Ajna, my mind slash Ajna is also undefined. Okay, so this is where this is really the center for thinking. This is an awareness center. This is like for data processing. It's where we attempt to relate to the present and the future and the past. And this center really takes all the information that is being
00:33:56
Speaker
pumped in through our head. And this is where we're distilling the information and we're trying to make sense of it. We're trying to process the information. So if you are like me and you have an undefined mind, you could be open minded and absent minded at the same time. And so this is where I was heavily conditioned as like, am I young? I would say more like young teens, young twenties to seem like I was dumb or like ditzy or absent minded.
00:34:25
Speaker
or like things just didn't stick or like I'm slow. I'm like slow to like get the joke. And so for so long, you guys, I honestly thought I was dumb. And when I found out that no, I'm not actually freaking dumb. I just have an undefined Ajna. It was like the most
00:34:41
Speaker
scene I have ever felt in my life. Because I'm so open to being able to contemplate so many different things that I'm very prone to also forgetting things and being so easily distracted. So I could study for an exam and study all of the information, memorize it that night, go take the test the next day, get an A, and then after that, it's gone. I cannot recall this fact. And so growing up with
00:35:11
Speaker
a brother and parents who have this defined and they have this steel trap where they're able to memorize facts that they learned five years ago. They just sound so intelligent and smart because they know so much information. I'm always like, what was I thinking about? You can see how it can be easy to feel conditioned to think that you're dumb. But really, no, it's just that our
00:35:34
Speaker
brain or like our mind, this ojna center, this data processing center is just different. It's open. And so information comes in that we need and then it leaves because we have a gift here. We have a genius of being able to see so many different possibilities, being able to see so many different sides of the story. And that's just how we were designed. Okay, another really cool thing about this is if you have this undefined like me,
00:36:00
Speaker
I'm able to walk in the room and sometimes like know what other people are thinking. Like we literally have the ability to tap into the thoughts of other people. And so you might finish people's sentences or they might be like, Hey, I was thinking that. And that's because you have this ability to like really tap into what other people are thinking. Another thing about this is that I'm not designed for certainty. So having an undefined Ashna means that I
00:36:27
Speaker
do not have certainty built into my design, built into my awareness, because I'm able to see so many different sides of things. So growing up not really having strong opinions about things made me feel weak. It made me feel like maybe I'm just not informed enough. Why don't I have this certainty that other people have and this conviction that other people have? And that's just because I literally don't have definition here. And so it's actually
00:36:55
Speaker
the more that I was able to see it as a gift and stop comparing myself to well, if I'm not as certain as that coach is over there, maybe I don't know enough or maybe my purpose isn't clear enough to me yet. But actually, once I learned that I'm never going to have certainty and to more come from a place of trying to gain clarity, that is giving me so much peace to just know I'm literally just designed like that. If you can relate to that, I want you to know that
00:37:23
Speaker
If you have this undefined or open, you're never going to have certainty. So you can stop trying to chase it right now and things are going to get much easier for you. Next. So I have an undefined throat center. So this means again that I don't produce my own energy here. I don't have a consistent way of communicating. Like I'm going to have different ways that I speak to different people. The way that I speak is going to vary. It's not a consistent type of energy.
00:37:52
Speaker
So the throat, it's really responsible for manifestation and expression and communication. This is really the main hub of our human design, and this is where all the energy is trying to move towards. This is where all of the voices of everyone, we're all striving to be heard here.
00:38:13
Speaker
And the throat has many unique ways of expressing itself through speech, action, and writing. And its shining qualities are all about teaching, leadership, education, and knowledge. So anywhere that you're trying to express yourself, this is coming from the throat. So my throat is undefined. The not-self theme of this throat, so if you feel like you're in the shadow part of not having your defined throat, it sounds like this. I can't seem to find the right words. There's been so many times where I'm like,
00:38:43
Speaker
I feel like I don't make sense. I don't know what I'm talking about. The right words are not coming out. I sound confusing. I don't know how to put my ideas into proper sentences. And so this has also made me feel dumb a lot of times in my life. But this is just a place that leads to a lot of frustration because I'm trying to express myself
00:39:07
Speaker
effectively but once you stop trying which is what I've learned like once I've stopped trying and once I've stopped trying to be seen because another thing about having an undefined throat is like
00:39:18
Speaker
There can be a lot of need to be attention seeking. We feel like we're not being heard and so we can do a lot of weird things for attention or a lot of speaking over people or speaking out of turn or feeling like we need to contribute to the conversation. And so we're constantly sometimes in our head thinking about the next thing to say instead of just learning how to be really good listeners.
00:39:41
Speaker
Once I learned to just let it go and take off the pressure for myself of needing to say something smart, of needing to contribute, of needing to even have an answer for somebody and just like allowed myself to be a little more in peace, take deep breaths, have spaciousness in conversation, then I've learned that the right words will come out and just trusting that it's true.
Defined and Undefined Centers: Self and Heart
00:40:03
Speaker
And the reason why it's easy for us with undefined throats to over speak or cut people off is because there's so much pressure. This is a pressure center. So there's so much pressure to speak and it's going to show up with different people and different people that are communicating with, you're going to speak differently. And so just allowing yourself to just be is, has really helped me. What I've learned as well with undefined throat is like they say the saying of like silence is golden.
00:40:31
Speaker
It really is true. I mean, I've always felt this pressure like growing up. I need to talk. I need to share my opinion or.
00:40:38
Speaker
say if you're in a Zoom meeting, a Zoom meeting with like five people and no one's talking, it's like, I feel this pressure that I need to carry the conversation or I need to be the one that like leads it because like no one else is doing it. But then it's like, I don't really want to do it. And sometimes it doesn't work out. So allowing myself to just know like, I don't have to, there is no pressure. I don't have to be the one that like leads this. I can just, if I don't have anything to say, I don't need to say anything until I actually have something important to say. And so that's really helped me take a lot of pressure off of that.
00:41:07
Speaker
Okay, so moving on to the next center is the self, or this is also known as the identity center. And this is all about direction, sense of purpose, and love. And I actually have this defined and I also have
00:41:22
Speaker
five gates defined as this as well. So when you're looking at a center, the first layer that you're looking at is like, okay, what does the center represent? This represents direction, sense of purpose, love. And then when you're looking at the numbers that are defined, so they're colored and they have a colored line coming off of them, those numbers are called gates.
00:41:44
Speaker
And the gate you can think of it as like an expression through which that center energy is being expressed. So let's let's do an example. Okay so gate 13 is the gate of the listener.
00:41:59
Speaker
And so I have Gate 13 defined in my G Center, the Identity Center, the Self Center. There's so many different names for the center. But again, this is like direction, sense of purpose, love. So I have 13, and Gate 13 is the listener. And so I'm really here. I've noticed that people really feel comfortable telling me things about themselves.
00:42:19
Speaker
people will open up to me and tell me things that they don't feel comfortable telling their partners or like they're the closest people in their life because I have such a an unbiased way of making people feel very comfortable and like accepted and so I get a lot of people confiding in me like secrets or sometimes crazy things and if I'm looking at this through identity or sense of purpose it really fits in with like what I'm here to do as a
00:42:48
Speaker
a coach. I'm here to be a human design guide. I'm here to be a coach. I'm here to help other people become their most fullest expressed versions of themselves. And part of that is talking and conversating through things that might be difficult to talk about. And so people feel comfortable doing that with me, and that helps them evolve on their path. And so I would look at that as part of my purpose or my identity.
00:43:12
Speaker
Anyway, so I have this center defined. And so this means that I really have consistent access to this energy. This is one of my core energies. I have consistent, reliable energy here all of the time. And this really represents our purpose and direction in life. And so I'm here to actually be someone who knows kind of like what the direction is. I know who I am. I know where I'm heading.
00:43:41
Speaker
I've always known that about myself. Even though it took me 10 years to graduate college, I wasn't really sure what I exactly wanted to do or how it was going to turn out. I always knew that I wanted to help people, and it's always been somehow guided through being their best self, whether that's career, their healthiest self. I've always known that, and so I've always had that direction.
00:44:04
Speaker
I also just want to be my best self, not just myself. I want to be my best self. And so it really is a compass, like always guiding me home to work on myself to just be the best person that I can be. The downside of this is that because I do have this sense of like identity, I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm here to do. I know where I'm going. I can attract relationships of people who don't know where they're going or like they need help. It's like kind of like a fixie, like a fix them energy.
00:44:34
Speaker
where people can really hold on to me because they feel really safe and comfortable in my energy. I have to know who I accept into my friendship group, who I accept into being in partnership with.
00:44:47
Speaker
who I accept like sharing my time and value and energy with because I can be prone to being in those kind of like toxic relationships where people just want help or fuel this sense of direction and identity for me and so they want to cling on to me. So I really have to be like conscious about that. So the next one would be the heart and the heart center is all about willpower and wishes. And I have this undefined and so this means that I don't have consistent access to willpower.
00:45:16
Speaker
And one of the biggest lies that we have been told in society is like, especially if you think about this with like your fitness journey or like making money, becoming financially independent and abundant, it's like, oh, you're just not doing enough. Like you just don't want it bad enough. You just don't have enough willpower. And actually, like a big majority of us don't like the bigger majority of us don't have this defined. And so that means that
00:45:39
Speaker
Most people, a lot of people, I forget the exact percentage, but we don't have access to willpower. When I learned this, I was like, oh my God, it made me feel so good because it wasn't that I just didn't have enough willpower to keep working out or stay consistent on my workout routine. It was that I truly don't have access to that. I need to find alternative ways to stay on track without relying on willpower alone.
00:46:06
Speaker
And so finding ways to really tap into like a good example is like, what is my why? Why do I want to be successful in my fitness journey? Like how do I want to feel like what is the long-term goals that I'm really trying to achieve and why am I doing it? That way I can tap into like the highest version of myself.
00:46:26
Speaker
and make conscious decisions in the moment to be like her. So for example, for me, a huge why when I started my fitness training was like I want to burn fat and build muscle because I want to be strong and I want to have
00:46:43
Speaker
sustainable energy throughout the day. I don't want to be tired and sluggish. I want to be energetic and have energy to go on my walks and get my daily steps in. I want to be able to have vitality and show up so that I can work my nine to five job
00:46:59
Speaker
make the money that I need to be to sustain myself and work on my conscious business and have this beautiful, sustainable energy. I also want to build confidence and building confidence from showing up every day doing hard things, knowing that I'm eating foods that fuel my body and make all of my organs and cells in my body feel good and regenerate. I want to
00:47:21
Speaker
Feel hot and sexy in my clothes and I want to feel good in my body and like I want to Yeah, just like be confident. And so for me, it was really about like energy being confident Lifting strong things knowing that when I'm older, I'm going to be able to take care of myself Like I won't need assistance. I want to be healthy and have the best Health so that I don't develop any diseases and I want to just feel good all of the time And so when I focus on that
00:47:51
Speaker
When it comes to, okay, I need to go work out. Well, if I'm only focusing on willpower, which I don't have consistent access to, I'm not going to go work out.
00:48:02
Speaker
But if I sit there and I think about, okay, Alyssa, why am I doing this? It's because I want to feel good. I know that after this workout, I'm going to have a shitload of energy, a ton of endorphins running through my body. I'm going to feel so good. This yucky mood that I'm in right now is going to completely turn around. I'm going to get inspiration because every time I work out and I'm, whether it's like walking on the treadmill or lifting weights, I get inspiration and like content ideas. You know, when I'm going on my walks and getting my steps in and I'm in nature,
00:48:29
Speaker
I'm connecting to Source, to Universe, and I'm getting this divine downloads where I wouldn't just get that if I was just sitting on my bed watching Netflix or thinking about if I should go move my body. So when I tap into that, it's like, okay, yeah, I need to go. And then that choice in the moment will help me go to the gym. Or if I'm considering, okay, I meal prep for the week, I have my lunch right here, but my coworkers are inviting me to go out to lunch, what do I do? It's like, well,
00:48:59
Speaker
If I focus on willpower alone, which I don't have consistent access to, I'm going to go to lunch with them, probably order something that's going to make me feel really tired and sluggish, and I'm going to have this yucky energy towards the end of the day. But instead of willpower, if I think about, well,
00:49:15
Speaker
What is my highest self want well my highest self wants to feel really good after I eat lunch because I have a few more meetings today, and then when I go home I have a reading to do and then I also Want to have energy later to go on a walk
00:49:31
Speaker
So if I eat the meal prep that I made, I'll be on track. I won't get that crash towards the end of the afternoon, and I'll have sustainable energy to go be my highest self at the reading I'm going to do, and then I'll get to go on my walk and finish the day off strong. And so it's like, okay, guys, I'm going to decide to eat my lunch. So that's where it's not sheerly focusing on willpower because most of us don't have access to that, but instead focusing on who do I want to be? What would my highest self do?
00:50:00
Speaker
and then making decisions from that place. And that's what I really love about human design is because when we understand ourselves, certain things that might feel like a deficiency, like not having willpower all the time. Well, it's actually not a deficiency. It's just literally how I was designed.
Defined Sacral and Spleen Centers: Energy and Intuition
00:50:15
Speaker
So how can I now create a life around just how I was designed? And then I'll be thriving. So there is nothing
00:50:25
Speaker
There is no part of our design that is not amazing. It's just, okay, this is just what it is. How can I now work around this? I found that to be extremely valuable because society doesn't teach us this. No one told us that a lot of us don't have access to consistent willpower. We're just thought to believe that we're failures because we're not tapping into it and we're not using that willpower. But some of us don't have it consistently.
00:50:51
Speaker
And so knowing that about yourself is a huge sigh of relief and a huge permission permission slip, especially for me. The other thing about the heart center is that this can lead us to be extremely competitive and overwork ourselves because we're trying to prove that we are worthy of like whatever we're working on. So for example,
00:51:17
Speaker
if I'm trying to prove that I'm the best in my office, well, I'm gonna take on multiple projects because I wanna show that I know exactly what I'm doing and I'm the best associate here, so I'm gonna prove my worth by taking on so many projects, but then I'm burning myself out at work. I don't have time to go work on my conscious business at home, so now I'm really tired and I'm actually really resentful because I don't really wanna do these projects because they didn't actually really light me up or excite me. I was just taking them on.
00:51:46
Speaker
Because I wanted to prove myself that I'm like the best associate ever where if I was actually like I actually don't need to prove myself I am just worthy because I just am worthy of being I have nothing to prove to myself I'm not gonna take on this extra work because I actually want to have like a lot of energy to go home and work on my conscious business I'm still a great associate even if I don't take on like all of these extra projects that are outside of like my my
00:52:12
Speaker
you know, my job title. So no, I'm not going to take that on. And doing that and experimenting with that has led me to have so much energy. And then I realized no one thinks less of me. My boss doesn't think that I'm actually not the best associate. They're just like, Oh, okay, cool. Like you just, you didn't want to take on that project. That's amazing.
00:52:31
Speaker
The next one is the sacral center. The sacral center is all about life force energy and power to do things. It is the most powerful center in the system because it is powered by life force energy. I have this defined. Of course, this is what makes me a generator. Anyone who has this defined would be a generator or a manifesting generator. That's what makes us in the generator type category.
00:53:02
Speaker
having this defined and about 70% of the population does have this defined.
00:53:07
Speaker
Okay, so I'm in this world to really have this natural ability to respond to what life offers me. So I have this continuous stream of life force energy to draw on in order to sustain whatever endeavor I want to commit to. The thing is, once it's switched on, this power is like the energizer bunny. If I'm doing something that my sacral is lit up on, I can spend hours just working on it because I'm so
00:53:34
Speaker
excited about it. And I have so much energy to just do it. So this is a very powerful energy. But the thing is, is that it has to be turned on. And if it's not turned on, it's not really going to be there. It has to be engaged in order for it to the momentum to start coming. So this is the way that we can really activate the sacral energy is from responding. So it's a gut response that responding to
00:53:59
Speaker
And it's like a natural feeling that will feel inside of our body and it's either like a mm-hmm or like mm-hmm. Like a lot of times we use those noises like uh-uh or like uh-huh. So start, if you are a sacral being, start really paying attention to the sounds that you're making. We, as a society, have been really deemed to not use sounds, especially as children. It's more like, use your words, stop. What are you trying to say? Express yourself. But if we're really tapping into our sacral,
00:54:27
Speaker
gut response, there are no words. It's not a logical thing. It's a sound. It's a feeling. So really allow yourself to use those feeling type sounds and that's going to really let you know if you're pulled towards something or if you're contracting from something. That's what I've discovered in mine.
00:54:49
Speaker
So I've noticed that when I am when my sacros lit up, I have the power to just like go like I'm just going and I don't necessarily want other people to go with me or catch up to me. And I don't know what this is because I do have the two in my profile where I am a hermit. But when I'm lit up, I want to go at my own pace and I really don't want people dragging me down, making me go slower or asking me questions and dragging me out of my process. So that's something I've really learned about myself.
00:55:19
Speaker
Okay, awesome. So the next one is and this one's honestly one of my favorite centers because this gave me a lot of permission to just be myself. So the next one would be the emotional solar plexus. And this center is all about feelings and our emotions. And this is a emotional center. So with having the undefined emotional center, I am
00:55:43
Speaker
always riding the emotional waves of other people. So I don't produce my own emotional wave. If I was just to be completely alone on an island completely by myself, my emotions would be pretty like moderate, like it just kind of be like even keel, just kind of like
00:56:02
Speaker
I don't want to say flat, but it's not going to be like these emotional highs and emotional lows. There could be other parts of my design where that might come out, but just from looking at the emotional solar plexus, I'm pretty even. Now, that's not to say that I don't experience extreme highs and extreme lows. I actually experience them all the time because I'm taking in and amplifying the emotions of everyone around me.
00:56:24
Speaker
So, this makes me extremely empathic and I can actually feel the other feelings of other people and not only feel them, but I'm amplifying it. So, if somebody in my presence is angry or upset or mad, I feel rage. Straight up rage. Before I knew about this, this is something crazy that used to happen to me. Okay, so when I used to work in the service centers as a manager, sometimes I would be in the window as a customer advisor.
00:56:52
Speaker
when we were doing oil changes. Sorry, if this is the first episode you're ever listening to. I work in the automotive industry and I used to work in a service center as a manager. We work in a drive-through oil change facility and our goal is to get the guests in and out in 15 minutes or less. They just stay inside the car,
00:57:15
Speaker
We do the full oil change process with them in the car and then they leave. Now, I used to be in the window and I would be in a great mood, super happy, like everything's going great and the next car rolls in and before the person even speaks to me.
00:57:31
Speaker
If they're in a bad mood or like mad at something, whatever's going on in their life, their energy would literally, their aura would interact with my aura and my emotional solar plexus that is undefined, takes in their energy, amplifies it, and now I'm rageful.
00:57:50
Speaker
It was the most weirdest experience that I never understood. I tried to explain it to people and it was just so hard to understand because I was like, why am I letting other people impact me so strong to the point where I'm rageful? But they would start talking to me in an attitude, like if they had an attitude or if they're in a really bad mood for some reason, and I would have to do everything in my power to not give them attitude back. I consider myself as someone who has amazing customer service. I'm really good at de-escalating situations.
00:58:20
Speaker
inside, I would feel the rage that they feel times 10. And it would make me so angry. And it's just like, why am I so mad? And it's because I'm amplifying their anger and whatever they were mad about before they came in, I was feeling it times 1000. And it's the weirdest feeling and
00:58:38
Speaker
once they would leave if they were gone for like 15 minutes or something and I'm away from their energy my energy would start to like dissipate and like go back to normal but I would have to really try to get out of that mood because it's just crazy. I cannot stop it but what I've really learned to do is they say what I've learned from my teacher and I think she learned from her teacher is that to think of ourselves if you have undefined this center undefined is to think of yourself like a
00:59:07
Speaker
screen, like a screen door or a screen window instead of a sponge. So a sponge, you know, soaks up all the energy and holds onto it like water. It's like holding onto that energy. And so if I was to feel that anger from that person, and I'm feeling this rage inside my body, and I'm a sponge, I'm going to hold onto that for a long time until it dries out.
00:59:26
Speaker
But instead, if I can be a screen door and allow that anger to move through me, feel the rage, not attach any story to it, and just consciously know this is not mine, this is not my anger, this is not me responding to them with anger, this is their shit, and just let it move through me like a wind blowing through a screen.
00:59:50
Speaker
that's going to allow me to come back down to my even emotional state much faster than if I tried to hold onto it. Because a lot of times I would hold onto it for a long time. I would now become extremely angry and I thought I was just mad at them and then I'm responding to them and I'm like, why are they ruining my day? Who do they think they are coming in here being so rude to us? We're doing nothing but giving them great service.
01:00:14
Speaker
Why are they so mean? This is such a miserable person. And I would hold on and internalize that rage. And so allowing that to just move through me and then just breathe it out, know that it's not mine, allow it to pass, that has given me so much permission to just be myself and to not hold on to this yucky feelings. Because nobody wants to hold on to that. Another interesting thing is that when I was younger,
01:00:43
Speaker
I would definitely consider myself a people pleaser and I always felt very uncomfortable in people's strong emotions because I would amplify it so much. And so I found myself being like a harmonizer. So I always wanted to fix situations. I always wanted to make sure that people feel good or I wanted to mend things and I felt very responsible for other people's emotions. I felt like I was impacting it or I had something to do with it. And so as an adult and someone on the spiritual
01:01:11
Speaker
path and journey. I really learned to realize I'm not responsible for their emotions. I'm not responsible for them getting along with other people. I don't need to be the harmonizer. I can allow them to have their own stuff going on. And even though I can feel it and it feels very personal to me because I'm internalizing it, because I'm feeling it, it feels like it's happening to me.
01:01:32
Speaker
I can just know, I have this awareness now that like, Oh, I'm just sensing what's theirs. This is not mine. I can let this go. I'm not responsible for fixing them. And so it's really allowed me to keep that in mind when someone is upset in the office or if wherever it is, wherever it's happening and I'm feeling someone's emotions, I'm like, okay, yeah, like this isn't mine. This is not mine. And I'm letting it go. And just using different spiritual practices and um,
01:01:58
Speaker
practices of clear energy has been super helpful. Another thing as well that I really noticed is that because I'm so open and I didn't want to feel these emotions, that is what led me to really rely on alcohol as a young teen, a young person in my twenties. That is why I wanted to escape so often, you know, with alcohol, food, shopping, all of the things, like I didn't want to feel the feelings. And so drinking was a place for me to like really kind of
01:02:26
Speaker
turn off those extreme emotions and kind of neutralize them. And I think I really relied on that for so many years because I just didn't understand this about myself. But now that I do, I can use healthy coping mechanisms to allow these feelings to just like kind of move. It's funny too, because I also find myself like crying, just like crying. A great example, I went to the vet to pick up some medication for my mom's dog.
01:02:53
Speaker
And as I was driving away, you know, I saw someone come out holding a leash and she was crying, like hysterically crying. And I just know that she obviously just had to put her dog down. And so then I became overwhelmed with emotions and grief and sadness and heartache that I literally felt my heart breaking and I immediately started sobbing.
01:03:14
Speaker
because I am pathically felt that my dog was dying. And so that's how it feels to have this undefined emotional center is like you feel that these feelings are yours. I felt like my dog was dying, like genuinely like I was grieving the loss of my dog and I was hysterically like crying and my heart felt my heart breaking on the inside. I felt my stomach dropping all of the feelings associated with like going to put your dog down.
01:03:42
Speaker
I felt. Also, I am drawing on past experiences of like, I've had to do that in the past. But it really is this feeling of empathic feeling of just like you think these emotions are yours, you're feeling them as if they're yours, and you're amplifying them. So if you have this undefined, it's super important that you understand this about yourself. Because if you walk around the world and society and in your life thinking that these feelings are always yours and not having this awareness of this,
01:04:08
Speaker
it's gonna be confusing as hell. Like you're gonna feel like you're always on an emotional roller coaster and you don't know why you're feeling angry and then sad and then really happy and then like all over the place and it's because you're always in the aura of other people. And so we have to get very comfortable distinguishing and spending alone time with ourselves to know what is our energy? What is our baseline feel like? And then we can know if this is ours or if this is not ours because let me tell you girl, a lot of the times it's not gonna be yours.
01:04:36
Speaker
Okay, moving on. So the next one is the spleen center. And the spleen center is all about survival senses. And this is also an awareness center. This is also super about an intuition. So this center is like deeply seated in intuition is deeply seated in fears and like we can be triggered through our fears through deep seated fears. This is like the need of survival. This is like very spontaneous intuition. And
01:05:03
Speaker
This is really connected to the body and to being connected to feeling someone's well-being. So I have this defined. So I am someone who is highly intuitive. I am designed to react to life in the spur of the moment and on my toes. So I know my body senses danger. My body senses, get out. My body senses, you need to leave. And it doesn't make sense. It's not the logical mind telling me, hey,
01:05:32
Speaker
I think this is dangerous because blah, blah, blah. No, I'm just meant to listen to my spleen, react to the sense of I need to leave now, and it doesn't matter why, and just get myself out of the situation. Because it might not even be danger, but it might just be like, oh, this isn't an energetically aligned opportunity for you, or this isn't going to work out in the long run. And so the more that I can listen to my spleen, a very quiet but knowing, and it's very like, it kind of just happens once.
01:06:01
Speaker
The more that I lean into that, the more that I build my intuition. With a defined spleen, I really love this by myself, is that we glow and we light up a room with our presence because our radiating feel good factor. With a defined spleen, it's like I feel really good to be around. There's a lot of warmth coming from me.
01:06:25
Speaker
I'm always watching things around me and being on the lookout, but also it's a healer vibe. There's a real brightness to my presence, there's a sense of humor to me, and I really love this about myself. This is honestly one of my favorite centers that is defined because I just love the defined spleen.
01:06:46
Speaker
But anyways, I'm really here to pay attention to my senses. So I'm supposed to know in the moment what my intuition, what my instincts, what my tastes are telling me, and I'm supposed to listen to it. So I have my sacral defined, so I am a sacral authority. So I wouldn't have the, the spleen isn't my, I don't have the splenic authority because I have the sacral authority. So that overpowers that.
01:07:09
Speaker
But I do have the sense of the same thing. I'm supposed to also listen to my spleen. And so really being connected to my intuition and instincts is super important. The bad side of this is that they say your antenna is always twitching. It's like, I can tend to be nervous because I'm always kind of on guard for what's going to happen. One example, I have been in four car accidents, not all driven by myself. But I've seen, let me see.
01:07:38
Speaker
Yeah okay i've been in four car accidents only one of them i was the actual driver the other four the other three i was a passenger and i or in the backseat and i saw it happening like i saw it right before it happened so i have a lot of trauma around car accidents and so i can tend to be a very nervous passenger it is something i'm working on but
01:07:57
Speaker
I prefer to just drive myself because I feel like I'm in more control. Also, having the spleen defined is like, I want to slow down when I see people breaking. It's like I want to be a conscious driver because I'm aware of what can happen at all times. And so the thing about the spleen is that this is also the place of fears and deep seated fears. And so since I do have a lot of trauma around car accidents, it can be kind of over heightened and overstimulated to where I have a lot of fear around
01:08:24
Speaker
Driving and car accidents and that's just something that I can be conscious of and not so caught up in the story of it like I understand now why I respond to the way I respond when I get scared as a passenger and to why I feel like we're gonna crash or we're gonna die is because the trauma mixed with this like the instincts of the spleen it's like I want to survive and so
01:08:47
Speaker
That's just something that I'm aware of and that that's something that just like helps me. So if you have, wherever you have a lot of fears in your life or like a lot of traumas around certain things, you can also look at the spleen and see how the spleen can help you is actually just trying to help you stay safe.
Impact of Undefined Root Center
01:09:00
Speaker
It's trying to help you stay alive, alert. And so I can give you a lot of like permission to actually thank yourself. Like, thank you, spleen. Thank you body for like protecting me and for wanting to be so great instead of kind of being yourself up for being like anxious or nervous.
01:09:17
Speaker
That's one thing I've really learned to tune into. Lastly, we are at the root.
01:09:23
Speaker
So the root center is all about drive and this is at the very bottom of the body graph and this is all about stress and adrenaline and it's a pressure center so this and the head center are the two pressure centers and so there's a lot of pressure here to do do do and to BBB. I have this undefined and I have let's see one two
01:09:48
Speaker
7 out of 9 of the gates defined here. I have a lot of energy in my root center, but it is undefined. The root center really does apply a lot of urgency to rationalize life and a lot of pressure to perform in life. There's a lot of Capricorn energy here from the gates.
01:10:06
Speaker
It's really the way I experience it is I always feel this pressure of like needing to do things and needing to hurry up. I feel like I have this to-do list. I need to do everything on it, but the thing is like, it's not always going to get done in one day. So just allowing myself to do the things that are important is okay. So.
01:10:23
Speaker
The cool thing about the undefined route is that in my natural state, when alone, I'm meant to be relaxed and I'm bothered going through life at my own pace. This makes so much sense. Like when I'm at home and say I want to deep clean my house, I'm going to take the whole day to clean the house. Like I have a process of like, okay, I want to clean my bookshelf and then I want to clean my desk area. I want to clean the dishes. I want to do laundry. Everything's going to be messy and then I'm going to put it back together how I want it. And I'm just doing things how I want to do it. This is my own pace. I like this.
01:10:52
Speaker
Just give me time but when I am stuck to the vortex of the outside world as they say and I started experiencing stress that my Center is not designed to handle and so I
01:11:06
Speaker
I can really get frazzled like, Oh my God, like I need to hurry up. Like, Oh my God, I need to get this done. And then I kept, I had people telling me my life, like, why are you so stressed out? It's okay. What's going on? And it's because I get so overwhelmed that I need to do things by certain time for other people, whether that's like at work or if I get overwhelmed by, I think people are waiting on me or the expectations of other people. I can get really frazzled.
01:11:32
Speaker
I am really here to achieve a lot of goals in my lifetime, but it has to be done on my own terms. When I feel stressed, that means I've committed to something outside of my integrity. If I'm stressed out, that is a sign that I committed to doing something on someone else's timeline that I don't actually want to do. Of course, this is going to come up at work. Obviously, if I'm working for someone else, I have a lot of timelines I have to
01:11:55
Speaker
hit, that's acceptable. But if I'm creating something in my business and I put this expectation on myself of like, I should hit $10,000 a month by my third month of business, those icky business coaching goals that are out there,
01:12:11
Speaker
And then I don't hit that or I feel so much pressure to hit that. That is not how I'm supposed to do business. I'm supposed to do business in a way that feels good to me, in a way that is like step by step, my generator mastery. I'm supposed to hear, I think, to really understand human design, to help teach this to other people. And I'm going to slowly grow my business like a Capricorn boss that I am.
01:12:31
Speaker
But if I'm putting these expectations on myself, I'm not hitting my revenue or I should have done a lot more by this amount of time. That's just creating stress that is not even in alignment with myself and I need to know that stop because that is not what I'm supposed to do with my soul. So I really love this center because it can really teach us where are we putting expectations on ourselves that we're not really meant to live up to or we're trying to force things. Where is the stress and adrenaline coming from?
01:12:58
Speaker
I also don't have consistent access to adrenaline needed to carry through certain things. And so I really have been known as a serial procrastinator who's someone that does things the last minute because I need that pressure to build up. So this is something else that has, understanding this about myself has given me a lot of permission to just be myself because I always wondered like, why do I procrastinate? And the reason why is because
01:13:26
Speaker
I don't have this natural adrenaline to get something done that's due in three months. No, I need to create that for myself. So I'll do it the night before it's due, just like I'm creating this podcast literally the day that it's supposed to come out because I need that built up adrenaline to just fricking do it. Right now, I'm so driven by the fact that I want to get this out today. I want to get this out to my people. I know this can help so many people. I'm super excited.
01:13:53
Speaker
So doing it the day of gives me this adrenaline buildup to actually execute it. Because if I try to do it like Friday or like earlier this week, first of all, I don't even know what I want to talk about. And second of all, I'm just not going to have the sustainable energy to do it. Like I'm not going to have that adrenaline energy to like push me through. So I actually thrive from procrastination.
01:14:13
Speaker
This is so funny. I also do this thing too where I will write down to-do lists just to cross off things I've already done. Say if I write down to-do lists, I'll write down things I've already done in the day just to be able to cross them off. It just gives me so much satisfaction.
01:14:28
Speaker
I'm also someone that starts a lot of things, like millions and millions of things and finishes very little. So I'll be reading like 30 books at a time. I have books in my car. I have books on my desk. I have a book by my bed. I have a book in my purse. I have books on my nightstand. And like, depending on what mood I'm in, I'll read a few pages of different books and then I won't pick it up again for a while. And that's just something I love to do. Like I'm not someone who like reads a book start to finish because I just like don't have that
01:14:56
Speaker
in me to complete something, it's I'll read a little here or there when I want to. And I used to beat myself up about that. Like, why can't I finish anything? Or like, why can't I just be someone who finishes a book? But I'm not actually supposed to be designed that way. So knowing that about myself, I'm like, Oh, that's just kind of a cool thing about me is I'll read a few pages about something I'm interested in here. And then I'll move on to the next thing. And that actually makes me feel really happy and fulfilled. Like there's literally nothing wrong with that.
01:15:20
Speaker
Another thing too is time. Okay so like with the undefined root I am someone who if I'm running on someone else's schedule I will be either really early or really late because time just kind of like I don't know what I don't know how to describe it it's it's just that that I get so wrapped up in
01:15:38
Speaker
what I'm doing or the stress of other people that either I'll try to like really over plan and be really early for things or I'll just relate because I'm just like my time is is on a completely different spectrum like I'm sorry and so if you're someone is like that I used to think something was wrong with me about like for that but actually nothing's wrong with me that's literally just how I am so
01:15:59
Speaker
As you can see, there's so many things about myself that I maybe used to judge or I thought was not normal or wasn't like other people. And then when I learned that about myself, I was like, Oh, this is just literally how
Reflection and Encouragement to Explore Human Design
01:16:10
Speaker
I'm designed. And I can actually use this to live a life that I actually love. And that has been something that has been super helpful for me.
01:16:18
Speaker
And then another really cool thing when you get into your design, so like once you really start to experiment with like your type, strategy, authority, once you understand the centers, there's so many deeper layers that you can go into with your incarnation cross, your gates, your channels. And again, that just filters the energy down to even more specific way that that energy is being expressed. And that is where we can really see where our gifts are. And it's just really fun.
01:16:44
Speaker
So I hope this was helpful. I thought that would just, again, just be kind of fun to share a little bit about myself through human design and looking at my chart, what are things that I've learned about myself that have helped me stop comparing myself to other people, just have more self-acceptance and understanding.
01:17:00
Speaker
And then as I'm experimenting with my design and actually going through the deconditioning process, seeing this as a lifelong experimentation, it's helped me also understand myself and other people so much better. So if you are just looking into your design, if you don't know where to start, I would highly recommend
01:17:19
Speaker
scheduling a reading. And so whether that's with me or someone else, just find someone that you really resonate with, someone that you want to spend time with, someone that you really like their energy. And that's what I did. I just found people that I really liked their energy. I liked how they described human design. I would find someone who's very empowering and someone who really lifts you up, encourages you and makes you feel good about your design. I would definitely steer clear from people who are like a little more dogmatic or maybe like
01:17:47
Speaker
a little more rigid and strict on the rules of human design or who use it instill any like fear or make you feel like weak about any parts of your design like all of that is just like really yucky vibes and there are people out there obviously there's all types of people so i would just find someone who you like you vibe with and
01:18:05
Speaker
Learn from them like get a reading. It's so much fun because it takes a lot of time to like read about this and understand it It's so confusing but having a reading as someone just literally tells you about yourself and you guys can have a really fun Conversation and examples come up and it's just it's really fun. So if you want to Take advantage of that you can look for
01:18:28
Speaker
my readings on my Instagram at I am Alyssa May. And then if you go to my Instagram bio, it has all the links for different designs or different readings that you can sign up for. If you have questions about it or questions about anything, be sure to reach out to me on Instagram, DM me. And yeah, just start the experiment. It's so much fun. It's just such an amazing self-awareness tool. And when you use it in a positive way,
01:18:52
Speaker
can really influence your life. So I hope you had fun. I hope you have a great day and I cannot wait to see you next time.
01:19:01
Speaker
Thank you so much for being here and listening Beauty. If you enjoyed this episode, please be sure to leave a review and share the episode with a friend who you know will love it. We can connect further on Instagram at I am Alyssa May. So come say hello, leave a comment of your favorite takeaway on my most recent post and I cannot wait to connect. Thank you so much and I will see you next time.