Transcript
Speaker: Yoshi saves the day, chapter 6.
Speaker: Yoshi saves the day, chapter 6.
Speaker: They get to another pipe which will take them to Yoster Island and nothing happens.
Speaker: They get there, fine.
Speaker: They meet with some Yoshis, they're all doing pretty well.
Speaker: The Yoshis all speak in perfect English.
Speaker: Oh, no, they don't.
Speaker: Oh, no, I get confused.
Speaker: Mario called out to a green dinosaur.
Speaker: Yoshi, it's me, Mario.
Speaker: Yoshi turned and smiled happily.
Speaker: The little dinosaur bound.
Speaker: Okay, so no, the Yoshis don't talk.
Speaker: The Yoshis is a moat.
Speaker: There we go.
Speaker: I got a bit confused there.
Speaker: They're like dogs, mostly.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Um...
Speaker: So Mario takes the Yoshi and not the Yoshi.
Speaker: This is clearly Yoshi.
Speaker: This is a Yoshi.
Speaker: This is this is Yoshi.
Speaker: Before we determined that Yoshi was a seat.
Speaker: It was part of a species, a greater species of Yoshis that are all called Yoshi.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So he takes the slash a Yoshi and leaves Luigi and Toad behind.
Speaker: And they're like, we're going to go get the mushroom.
Speaker: And they go up to the top of the hill and they find the blue mushroom.
Speaker: But just then, Lakitu's attack.
Speaker: And they got the spiny balls are flying down.
Speaker: And Mario, I guess you got the hammer from one of the Hammer Brothers, starts using the hammer as if he's back in Donkey Kong days and just breaking.
Speaker: Yeah, he's breaking those balls.
Speaker: He's a ball breaker.
Speaker: And then Yoshi jumps up in the air and he eats the clouds that the Lak-2s are using and they fall out of the sky.
Speaker: So that's clever.
Speaker: It's a clever way to deal with that.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: They have got air advantage.
Speaker: So as long as you eliminate that, that's all you need to do.
Speaker: That's all you need to do.
Speaker: They get back down and talk to Toad and Luigi, and they see the next clue, and the next clue is mine.
Speaker: And they're like, the next clue is yours.
Speaker: No, it's mine.
Speaker: Whose clue is it?
Speaker: What?
Speaker: Who's on first?
Speaker: I don't know who's on third.
Speaker: Ah.
Speaker: Um.
Speaker: So Mario said they would never find the next mushroom until the next chapter.
Speaker: Well, it's good because the next chapter is called The End.
Speaker: So we've done it, folks.
Speaker: We've done it.
Speaker: We've reached the end of the episode.
Speaker: Even though this is a 46-page book, this is only page 20 or so.
Speaker: So pretty good, you know, all things considered.
Speaker: Pretty good.
Speaker: It's pretty efficient to get to the end of the book.
Speaker: Yeah, nice typing.
Speaker: The rest of the book just must be a bunch of, you know, zipper lighter adverts and X-ray glasses sent off about your arm.
Speaker: Right in for this.
Speaker: Solve this clue and get an entry into winning these Nintendo systems.
Speaker: There's the rest of it.
Speaker: It's just all misconnections.
Speaker: LAUGHTER
Speaker: You were reading a copy of Mario and the Magic Maze.
Speaker: I was on the other side of the library in Pittsburgh.
Speaker: Please email.
Speaker: The year 1997.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: This was published in 2006, but all of the messages are from 1997.
Speaker: Yeah, they're all misconnections from 1997.
Speaker: I think that you were the Archbishop Desmond Tutu I was here with the UN as well Please get back in contact with me
Speaker: So it's the end.
Speaker: It's the end of the book.
Speaker: Yoshi.
Speaker: But oh wait.
Speaker: Yoshi figures out the clue.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yoshi figures out the clue.
Speaker: And he points down at the ground.
Speaker: And Mario is like.
Speaker: It's underground.
Speaker: It's a mine.
Speaker: Not mine.
Speaker: It's a mine.
Speaker: Not mine.
Speaker: The mines are right here in Moleville.
Speaker: So they go to the mines and on their way to the mines, they run into a chain chop.
Speaker: And this guy is he's a feisty boy.
Speaker: Mario realizes, though, that he's not angry at them.
Speaker: He's angry at his situation.
Speaker: And he jumps on the back of the chain chomp.
Speaker: He speaks to the inner baby chain chomp inside the chain chomp, the puppy chomp, and practices his animal husbandry.
Speaker: And he unchains the chain chomp.
Speaker: And everybody's freaked out.
Speaker: Like, what's going to happen here?
Speaker: And then the chain chomp calms down and just rolls away.
Speaker: Yeah, he's done.
Speaker: He's like, I'm alright.
Speaker: I'm just gonna chill.
Speaker: I'm alright now.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: How are you?
Speaker: And then they continue on to the mine.
Speaker: Do you know what the story is for why the Chain Chomp exists as a character in Mario?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Is it like half of a bullet bill or something?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: So it's either Miyamoto or it's Suzuka who had this story, but it was like when they were a kid walking home from school, one of their neighbors had just a big-ass dog that was like incredibly aggressive.
Speaker: So the dog would like run full power at the kid and then the chain would yank it back.
Speaker: Like it was just on a short enough leaf that it would never like kind of attack.
Speaker: I'm rather than thinking, like, oh god, that dog's being kept in bad conditions.
Speaker: Just, like, 30, 20-odd years after the fact they went, that'd be a good Mario.
Speaker: Let's write him in.
Speaker: It's the same thing with the ghost.
Speaker: Well, finally, after the ghosts are in this book, so boos from Mario are based on Takashi Tezuka's wife, who...
Speaker: When they met her in person, she was like a quiet, incredibly shy, timid woman.
Speaker: And then behind closed doors was like abusive.
Speaker: Well, whenever he went late, she'd ring in and be like, what the fuck are you?
Speaker: Get home immediately.
Speaker: this would be really aggressive too and then rather than yeah being like oh wow you know maybe there's something going on you know when you found me it was just like that's funny as fuck we're putting that mario that's hilarious yeah we're putting those in as ghosts that's funny as fuck she's an enemy now in my in my mario game
Speaker: Yeah, we turn your wife into a, not just a single character, but a multitude of ghosts and Mario.
Speaker: What was that short film?
Speaker: Do you remember, ever see that short film where it was about like a young George Lucas walking around like the campus of Stanford or whatever and everything he sees is like...
Speaker: Inspire Star Wars.
Speaker: Yeah, something that would inspire Star Wars or Indiana Jones or something like that.
Speaker: And I just imagine that for Miyamoto and everything he sees is going into Super Mario Brothers.
Speaker: I mean, that is what he was like.
Speaker: Flying through rings in Star Fox was based on a New Year's tradition where you go to Japanese temples and you walk...
Speaker: Like, the pathways have these, like, kind of gates overhead, and he was like, huh, what if I was a plane doing this?
Speaker: That might be a fun game.
Speaker: Kind of thing.
Speaker: That might be a fun video game.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: When he was a kid, he went cave exploring, and, you know, he found fun caves, and then the internet historian ripped that off for his video, but we can't talk about that.
Speaker: He got that out of it.
Speaker: I'm now plagiarizing H-bomb guy.
Speaker: Oh, boy.
Speaker: Plagiarism, huh?
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Love it.
Speaker: We love it.
Speaker: We love your folks, don't we?
Speaker: Yoshi yips questioningly in Luxembourg.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: There's some ghosts.
Speaker: They continue on, and they get into... They find the mine, and they get into a mine cart, and they ride that mine cart on down, and they find Mushroom No.
Speaker: 5.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And another clue.
Speaker: And another clue.
Speaker: And it's just the clue is this is an actual like, oh, this is a neat clue.
Speaker: So it's numbers.
Speaker: And then under it, it says one to 26.
Speaker: And they figure, well, what's 26 number?
Speaker: What's 26 long?
Speaker: And that's that's letters letters in the alphabet.
Speaker: So I figured it's just like a number replacement thingy.
Speaker: And it's booster pass is where they got to go.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But on the way, they get attacked by Koopa paratroopers.
Speaker: Oh, no.
Speaker: Oh, no.
Speaker: And the pouch gets knocked out of Mario's hand.
Speaker: Oh, double-o now.
Speaker: Down into a ravine.
Speaker: Which brings us to Chapter 8, which is probably your favorite chapter.
Speaker: Yeah, so this is why you asked me on this episode, right?
Speaker: Yeah, clearly.
Speaker: This is why I asked you on the episode.
Speaker: Chapter 8, watch out for Wario.
Speaker: Now, this is why I said I don't think she played that far into Mario RPG, because Wario is not in.
Speaker: Booster Past is.
Speaker: There is a character called Booster who looks a bit like Wario, but Wario himself is not in Mario RPG.
Speaker: Would Super Mario RPG have been...
Speaker: like a much better game with Wario in it.
Speaker: Yes, clearly.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: This is a reference to another SNES game, though, which when we get to it, I'll mention more.
Speaker: But yeah, they lose the mushrooms, but then they get the mushrooms back, so it's not too bad.
Speaker: It's not too bad.
Speaker: They lower Todd.
Speaker: Todd.
Speaker: Toad.
Speaker: They lower Todd's from Breaking Bad's.
Speaker: It's good.
Speaker: They're towed down into the ravine where the mushrooms fell and he gets them.
Speaker: And they continue along and then a bucket falls on Mario's head.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: And Mario's like, that can only mean one thing.
Speaker: My sworn arch enemy.
Speaker: So, do you know why he drops a bucket on his head?
Speaker: I don't.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: So this is a reference to a video game that no one has ever played.
Speaker: From 1995 called Mario.
Speaker: Which I'm sure you've played, though.
Speaker: Oh, of course I have.
Speaker: Mario and Wario.
Speaker: Not Mario vs. Wario.
Speaker: Mario and Wario for the SNES.
Speaker: One of the first games that Game Freak made for Nintendo.
Speaker: Before Pokemon, this was something that was contracted out to them.
Speaker: It is basically Nintendo's version.
Speaker: It's like Nintendo saw the success of Lemmings and said...
Speaker: Oh yeah, we can fart one of these out.
Speaker: We can do that.
Speaker: Yeah, fuck.
Speaker: We'll fucking sleepwalk through this easy, which is ironic considering that it is a game which is about...
Speaker: Wario in his pitiful bi-flame drops buckets on the heads of Nintendo characters and then they just start walking forward and then you as a fairy have to use your magic wand to fill in blocks to basically make platforms and get them to the end of the level essentially.
Speaker: It's a cute idea.
Speaker: It is also like the most ambient video game.
Speaker: It is so like low stakes.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Very much so.
Speaker: But, yeah, obviously Tracy West here is like, oh, I can't take everything from Mario RPG.
Speaker: What else have I got on my SNES?
Speaker: Oh, for some reason I have Mario.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, and that was another thing as well.
Speaker: Um...
Speaker: One of the other games that supported the SNES mouse, apart from Mario Paint, was for some reason Mario and Wario, which was, again, because it was like Lemmings, I guess.
Speaker: Yeah, because you're kind of using it.
Speaker: Yeah, you need to kind of click around and stuff.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's interesting.
Speaker: Yeah, it is a kind of, it's sort of a, like I said, just kind of as an outlier in sort of Nintendo's kind of games.
Speaker: And again, it's like one of the first Game Freed games.
Speaker: It is interesting, but it is also like,
Speaker: Not as good as Lemmings.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: It's yeah.
Speaker: And that does sound like because like Lemmings was not.
Speaker: that interesting ultimately it was a game i the only time i ever played lemmings was if i was in um like a computer class sure yeah and it's like the teacher's like uh yeah you have a free day today and all the macs were loaded up with lemmings for some reason so you could just like kind of just sit there and fuck about with lemmings and
Speaker: That's funny that you say that because I think Lemmings is one of the first computer games I played and it's literally because when I was a kid I had like an old fashioned Macintosh like I had my dad's hand me down and one of the only few video games that would run on it
Speaker: was Lemmings, because I think DMA was just like, oh, let's put this on every particular device that we can, which includes the Mac, which doesn't have any games on it.
Speaker: And so, yeah.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Christmas Lemmings, I think, came out like the year I was born.
Speaker: And so, I mean, I'm not saying that I came out and played Lemmings immediately, but... Right.
Speaker: It was one of the first games I played.
Speaker: And you know who made Lemmings?
Speaker: Yeah, Rockstar North.
Speaker: Rockstar North.
Speaker: DMA Design, which eventually became Rockstar North.
Speaker: Famously as well, they did make a game for Nintendo, which was UniRacers, and then it got pulled off shelves because Pixar were like, hey, that guy looks like our fucking unicycle character.
Speaker: We're going to sue you for every dollar you owe.
Speaker: Amazing.
Speaker: Yeah, so lemmings.
Speaker: Also, speaking of things that were victimized by Walt Disney, lemmings, which do not actually run off cliffs.
Speaker: They were...
Speaker: just pushed off cliffs for a... They were chased off by Walt.
Speaker: Walt was the guy he was doing.
Speaker: Walt was the one who was doing it.
Speaker: He was blowing cigarette smoke in their little faces.
Speaker: If you look closely, you can see Roy Disney in the background just saying, ah, Walt, what are you doing?
Speaker: And Walt's like, it's for the picture, Roy.
Speaker: Get them furry fucks down.
Speaker: Well, he didn't sound like it.
Speaker: He was a hayseed, wasn't he?
Speaker: He was from Kentucky, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I just imagine, though, he sounded like exactly what you said when the cameras weren't rolling.
Speaker: Like, ah!
Speaker: I'm chomping on this cigar.
Speaker: I'm a fucking Morrie guy.
Speaker: Pizza.
Speaker: Pizza.
Speaker: Speaking of pizza, Wario.
Speaker: Give it up, Mario.
Speaker: Mario called down.
Speaker: Bowser's gonna give me a lot of money if I bring you to him.
Speaker: You might as well just surrender.
Speaker: So again, Wario, very good characterization.
Speaker: He's not really evil, he's just in it for the pack.
Speaker: He's in it as a mercenary in this story.
Speaker: Doesn't care about the politics, doesn't get involved.
Speaker: They solve the Wario conundrum, though, by... Like throwing the bucket on his head?
Speaker: Yeah, Mario grabs a bucket and with Yoshi jumps higher than the plane because it's a low-flying plane.
Speaker: He's crop dusting, and he drops the bucket on Wario's head, and Wario loses control of the plane and disappears over the horizon.
Speaker: He Michael Jordans him.
Speaker: He slam dunks the... Slam dunks that bucket right on his head.
Speaker: And then they grab the final mushroom and a bright light fills the ravine and...
Speaker: leading to chapter nine where they fast travel to Bowser keep because yeah, don't worry about it.
Speaker: Don't worry about it.
Speaker: Which is part.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Even, even like Tracy's like, Oh, don't worry.
Speaker: We're nearly done.
Speaker: No more puzzles as well.
Speaker: What that's like.
Speaker: Those are done now.
Speaker: We're done.
Speaker: 26.
Speaker: That was a bit too much for you.
Speaker: So don't worry.
Speaker: We're not doing those again.
Speaker: We're, we're in a real Scooby doo of a chapter, chapter nine.
Speaker: Good, good, good, good, good.
Speaker: Ghosts.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: And they're at Bowser keep and they are, are wow.
Speaker: They're, they're, they're woozy and all that.
Speaker: And then they're like, ah, we're here.
Speaker: And then they run up to the gate and then the ghosts attack them and steal the pouch.
Speaker: And they're tossing it around.
Speaker: And then Luigi overcomes this fear of ghosts and gets the pouch back.
Speaker: At one point, Yoshi tries eating a ghost.
Speaker: There's a moment earlier where Yoshi's like trying to figure out what a ghost might taste like.
Speaker: um then mario kind of reads like he's like oh yeah i don't know what they taste like yoshi and then yoshi tries to eat it later and can't so never any payoff to that but they said never any payoff to that um
Speaker: Yoshi eats it and then for his first words he starts summoning Cthulhu and his eyes roll back into his head.
Speaker: I thought he played that Romhack.
Speaker: It's not good.
Speaker: It's not good.
Speaker: He stares right into the camera and then there's a bunch of jump scares.
Speaker: Oh shit.
Speaker: His eyes start bleeding somehow.
Speaker: His eyes start bleeding.
Speaker: And it looks really realistic.
Speaker: And then Sonic.exe shows up.
Speaker: And then I get the game cartridge from my best friend Billy, despite the fact that he's now a 40-year-old man, he still calls himself Billy.
Speaker: He's Billy, my best friend.
Speaker: It was his cartridge.
Speaker: Billy's cartridge.
Speaker: I do like the fact as well, it's like just laughing about just Mario saying normal sentences.
Speaker: Luigi's just like...
Speaker: Mario the Ghost!
Speaker: And then Mario just goes, you gotta do it, Luigi.
Speaker: You have to do it.
Speaker: You must try.
Speaker: You gotta try.
Speaker: You have to do it, Luigi, says Mario.
Speaker: In his... In his... Jon Hamm ass voice.
Speaker: Yeah, when's Jon Hamm playing... When's Jon Hamm playing live-action Mario?
Speaker: Mario.
Speaker: Oh my god.
Speaker: Mario gets into the elevator with Mario and Mario's just like, I feel bad for you, Mario.
Speaker: And Mario responds, I don't think about you at all.
Speaker: Imagine a piece of pasta.
Speaker: uh we gotta get the series ends with him on a commune coming up with the super mario brothers theme coming coming
Speaker: Oh, no, coming up with the fucking rap from the Super Mario Super Show.
Speaker: There we go.
Speaker: That's it.
Speaker: Captain Lou dances, too.
Speaker: Captain Lou Albano, yeah, appears in his visions on the commune.
Speaker: So Luigi gets the pouch back.
Speaker: He overcomes his fear, and he gets the pouch back, and he gives it back to Mario, and Mario's got to line the mushrooms up in just the right order.
Speaker: And then he's got to say the spell.
Speaker: But he can't do it if the ghosts are all over him.
Speaker: So Luigi did his bit, right?
Speaker: Now somebody else has to get over their fear of ghosts.
Speaker: And that's Todd.
Speaker: Todd Howard has to get over his fear of ghosts.
Speaker: Todd Howard.
Speaker: Todd Howard has a small toad voice.
Speaker: You see that mountain?
Speaker: You can climb it.
Speaker: Ha ha ha ha ha.
Speaker: It's our first new franchise in 30 years.
Speaker: Cool.
Speaker: Thank you, Toad.
Speaker: Thank you, Toad Howard.
Speaker: Thank you, Toad Howard.
Speaker: So, Toad... When did you make this game for a not-some-ice computers?
Speaker: No, we just made a game for new computers.
Speaker: Ha ha ha!
Speaker: Ha ha ha!
Speaker: I don't know, I'm just now imagining Todd Howard in the big stupid mushroom hat and just wearing nothing but white linen Iranian pants and just a blue waistcoat with nothing else.
Speaker: But it's still Todd Howard.
Speaker: It's still Todd Howard.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, no.
Speaker: So Toad gets getting tossed around by the ghosts.
Speaker: Only by the ghosts.
Speaker: Just getting really manhandled.
Speaker: Mario casts a spell, which is eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
Speaker: Send the ghosts where bad boos go.
Speaker: And yippity, bippity, the ghosts are...
Speaker: banished.
Speaker: Yeah, they're blown by the color of the rainbow and they all go, aye.
Speaker: Aye.
Speaker: The thing is, the ghosts, what we isn't revealed is that the ghosts were actually just regular folk who hadn't finished their earthly duties, but Mario actually casts them into hell, even though not all of them were destined for hell.
Speaker: So...
Speaker: They're all unbaptized babies.
Speaker: They're all unbaptized babies.
Speaker: And then we get to the Pope himself.
Speaker: Chapter 10, Big Bad Bowser, he's here, because even though the ghosts have been defeated, there's still Bowser to go.
Speaker: Pope Bowser, they hear Princess Peach, and she is upstairs, and
Speaker: in the ceiling, in a cage that hung from the ceiling.
Speaker: Back in the Super Mario RPG.
Speaker: Metal cage in the ceiling.
Speaker: Super Mario RPG right there.
Speaker: The only bit of Super Mario RPG I have played, by the way.
Speaker: Well, here's the thing.
Speaker: Not to be internet pedant here, but Super Mario RPG right at the beginning, she is tied up in a rope being held by the ceiling, but they are fighting on metal chandeliers.
Speaker: However... Oh, that's right.
Speaker: Mario Brothers All-Stars, the remake of Super Mario Brothers 1, she is in a big-ass cage.
Speaker: There we go.
Speaker: So, yeah, there we go.
Speaker: So, it always comes back to an SNES game somehow.
Speaker: At some point.
Speaker: I think, you know what's wild is I think a lot of people forget that Nintendo remade the original Mario games in, like, the early 90s.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like,
Speaker: long before remakes were a thing, they remade with the, it was like the SNES, it was the Super Mario World artwork they used to remake them, right?
Speaker: Yeah, well, kind of level of rendering.
Speaker: Like, it doesn't quite look like Super Mario World, but it is like that level of rendering.
Speaker: So, yeah, they remade one, USA, and three, and then they also did Lost Levels, the Japanese version.
Speaker: Then, obviously, in Japan, they flipped that around, and USA was the one that they got.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Yeah, like, I always find that period really weird, because they also remade all the Mega Man games on like Mega Drive, being like, hey, you probably didn't have an NES, so check all these out, Bozo.
Speaker: Right, oh yeah, that's right.
Speaker: Because Capcom is like, yeah, fuck it, we're not beholden to Nintendo anymore.
Speaker: But even weirder than that, Super Castlevania 4 is, all intents and purposes, a remake of Castlevania 1 as well.
Speaker: So people were remaking stuff pretty... Basically, after the NES, they were like, okay, full-on the remake, Sue.
Speaker: Let's bring it in, folks.
Speaker: Let's roll them in, boys.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, because Super Metroid is...
Speaker: So, that was my theory, was that Super Metroid and A Link to the Past are, like, in my head, Nintendo being like, oh, if we were to remake, if we were to make the NES games, like, again for the first time, what would we do differently?
Speaker: How would we do it again?
Speaker: Yeah, and like, in Super Metroid's case, it makes sense, it's like, oh, well, I'd add a map, because, like,
Speaker: no one's going to be able to you know we didn't put like a paper one in so it made it confusing so let's put one in the game and you know it's even like the same planet that you go to but they flesh it out a little bit more as well and then layer with like link to the past it's like oh let's do top down again and let's like if we made it again what if it had nicer graphics and then they decided oh let's add a plot to it and let's actually make it like a prequel sequel to the original one as well
Speaker: So, yeah, I think they were just on that tip of... And, like, Super Mario World itself isn't that different from Super Mario... But even Super Mario Bros.
Speaker: 3, as a concept, is like, if we could remake one again, how would we do it kind of thing?
Speaker: So, yeah, Nintendo are very, like, iterative with, like, how they want to... Yeah, they're not... It's not like they're...
Speaker: They don't really... I mean, it's not like they care a whole lot about story, clearly.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Continuity ain't that thing.
Speaker: Maybe not... Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Not story, but continuity between games.
Speaker: Like...
Speaker: To them, canon is more of like a who the fuck cares type of situation.
Speaker: It's my favorite thing with the Zelda timeline that based like after Skyward saw people like, you need to tell us what the timeline is.
Speaker: And I went, OK, fine.
Speaker: And he was like, OK, here's the timeline.
Speaker: If Ocarina of Time, you say there's an adult.
Speaker: The timeline is choose your own adventure.
Speaker: Bullshit.
Speaker: So the timeline is already stupid because it's like, OK, here's the timeline that
Speaker: from the future of Ocarina of Time where he's an adult, and then here's the timeline from when he was a child.
Speaker: Okay, that's fine.
Speaker: Okay, and then here's another timeline that if you had died in Ocarina of Time, here's this new timeline, and it's like, hold on, this isn't XCOM, what the fuck are you doing?
Speaker: Like, that ain't...
Speaker: And then when they got to Breath of the Wild, they said, fuck the timeline.
Speaker: Yeah, this ain't got nothing to do with the timeline.
Speaker: This is something new.
Speaker: This is something brand spanking new.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Not many companies.
Speaker: So two companies have the balls to say that the bad ending is canon.
Speaker: And that's Nintendo and Firaxis.
Speaker: with xcom 2 where they said yeah nobody beat xcom 1 so we're gonna say the canon ending was you didn't be xcom 1 the canon ending is you lost you gave up uh the canon ending is is that um uh marvel's midnight sons didn't sell as much as we wanted it to so canon ending with that is everybody lost
Speaker: Everybody lost.
Speaker: I lost.
Speaker: I lost personally a lot.
Speaker: And obviously Jake Solomon lost.
Speaker: Well, he's off in another company now, isn't he?
Speaker: Or has he retired from getting... I don't know.
Speaker: I feel like he's too young to retire.
Speaker: He's... Oh, yeah.
Speaker: I mean, it's early 40s, I think.
Speaker: Yeah, Sid Meier is still going.
Speaker: So Jake Salman's got to.
Speaker: I mean, Sid Meier is like Miyamoto.
Speaker: Like he won't leave.
Speaker: Like he'll just die at the job.
Speaker: He will just die sitting in his office chair.
Speaker: more than that so have you heard about oh we will get about in a second don't you worry folks but you know um how they design chimera well apparently so it's um phyrexis when they prototype new games like sid mea built this thing in the 80s that he calls like the sandbox where it's like whenever they want to try a mechanic out he will just quickly write it in this bit of software and
Speaker: And it all, like, give them a bunch of data and a bunch of demonstrations of how it worked.
Speaker: And that's how they did Chimera Squad, was, like, they weren't sure if the mixed-up turn order would work.
Speaker: When XCOM, he was like, oh, Giz is, like, 10 minutes, and I'll write it up.
Speaker: And, like, literally had a working prototype working on it.
Speaker: And they were like, oh, yeah, like, all of Firaxis's games from Civ 1 have used me as sandbox for, like, prototyping.
Speaker: And it's like...
Speaker: So yeah, I just imagine that the day that he dies, they'll find him in the office, but he has written himself into his own sandbox.
Speaker: He's going to live forever in the sandbox, like Johnny Depp in Transcendence.
Speaker: He's the guy, and apparently he's the guy that anytime they're developing a game, aside from the sandbox thing, they just sit down with him, and they're like, what do you think of this?
Speaker: And he's like...
Speaker: he's just like gives the thumb he's like i like he's like so he gives the thumbs up or thumbs down he's like no that's dumb uh do this the player players like this better like he somehow has this like instinctual idea of what might work over other things because it's not like he's not doing the he doesn't do the day-to-day stuff for the civ games oh no i obviously i imagine it's like miyamosa where he's like create a fellow where it's just like they keep him employed as kind of like a
Speaker: Do you think he does that for like all the other 2K games?
Speaker: Like they go to him and it's like, all right, we're doing 2K, NBA 2K 2020 like four.
Speaker: I would be interested.
Speaker: They have to hope he gives him the thumbs up.
Speaker: I would actually kind of be interested seeing who Sid Meier meets in like a regular day.
Speaker: Like who's calling him seeking his advice?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Same thing for Miyamoto.
Speaker: Like, do people just go for advice?
Speaker: Miyamoto's an interesting one, because he's obviously, he's been developing the theme park for the past, like, four years, but now that that's done, it's like, what's the next thing?
Speaker: And apparently he works on Pikmin 4, and it's like, yeah, but what does that...
Speaker: Like, what does work on mean?
Speaker: Like, was he... Because I can't imagine he was doing the modeling or, like, doing the programming or anything, but I imagine he might have been looking at the design docs and being like, yay or nay on stuff like that.
Speaker: Yeah, just, like, breaks out the... Like, they give him a draft of the design doc, he breaks out a red pen, like, makes his notes and then throws it back to them.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: More Iochi.
Speaker: Even more Iochi.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So we're in chapter 10, I believe.
Speaker: Yeah, we got the cage.
Speaker: But Bowser is able to keep them pinned down with suppressing fire.
Speaker: Speaking of XCOM.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Bowser activated kill zone.
Speaker: Don't go into his line of fire.
Speaker: And then Toad says something about it being hopeless.
Speaker: And that reminds Mario about the envelope.
Speaker: Hey, now, we got a callback here.
Speaker: And Mario opens up the envelope, and basically the note inside tells Mario that each of the mushrooms also casts a spell when thrown.
Speaker: So one by one they take turns throwing the mushrooms at Bowser and like the black one is like a smoke bomb and then the green one... The red one does firebombs.
Speaker: It's kind of very Mario Kart-y.
Speaker: Like they all turn into sort of like classic Mario weapons which is...
Speaker: And basically that's just from a password pass.
Speaker: It's just like, stop.
Speaker: This is annoying.
Speaker: Stop doing it.
Speaker: I was just like, please stop.
Speaker: Ah, I don't like this.
Speaker: I'm not a fan of this.
Speaker: One of them's a giant, just like a giant bouncy ball that hits him in the face.
Speaker: Yeah, and I was trying to figure out what that was a reference to.
Speaker: I know that in Mario Brothers 3, some of the Koopalins are just like...
Speaker: what do they call it like in the circus like on a gymnast when they balance on a ball it's sort of like that kind of like a sort of a trapeze thing so i wondered if it was a reference to that but yeah just like the the the koopa kids doing their little thing yeah and i mean it could also just be chasey west being my foot uh ball why did i write six
Speaker: Why is it the six mushrooms?
Speaker: Why couldn't it be three mushrooms?
Speaker: Why wasn't it just one mushroom?
Speaker: Mario and the... Here we go, Scholastic.
Speaker: I've written this pamphlet for you.
Speaker: Mario and the quest for the one mushroom.
Speaker: Mario and the special, super special mushroom.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So the fireball mushroom, which is the last one, knocks Bowser out of a window.
Speaker: Yeah, it does.
Speaker: They rescue the princess, and then Mario grabs the book of spells for Cronus's wife.
Speaker: And I don't think Bowser will need this anymore.
Speaker: And somewhere in a deep, mysterious forest, the sorceress smiled back.
Speaker: The end.
Speaker: No more writing.
Speaker: The end.
Speaker: Hard end.
Speaker: I nearly sent you a message about this, because I did the PDF conversion, and I was like, oh, did this cut it off?
Speaker: Why did it just end here?
Speaker: So then I had a look at the EPUB, and I was like, oh, no, it just ends.
Speaker: Yeah, and then I had a look, and it was like, yeah.
Speaker: That's just where it ends.
Speaker: It just ends on, like, gunshot fade to black of Somewhere Deep in the Mysterious Forest, The Sorcerer's Smile Back, Bummed, Cut to Black, Linkin Park, Doesn't Really Matter, Executive Producer Credit.
Speaker: Directed by Michael Bay.
Speaker: I've come so far.
Speaker: And in the end, it doesn't really matter.
Speaker: James, what did you think of the book overall?
Speaker: I thought it was okay.
Speaker: We did kind of gloss over it a little bit, but I will say, compared to when I was here last time and I read the Bionic Commando book, the main criticism I had the Commando book was that basically it was very kind of like...
Speaker: kids clancy in regards to they were trying to describe like a lot of action scenes of and then he did this and then he did this and then he did and right just over and over this does have action scenes in it but they do try and like it's very dialogue heavy and they do try and make it quite cutesy there isn't a lot of like
Speaker: actual combat in it.
Speaker: Like, with the... The paratrooper thing was, like, he jumped on the paratrooper and he lost his wings.
Speaker: Then he jumped again and he turned into a shell.
Speaker: And then he jumped again and, watch, he was gone.
Speaker: So... All very kind of friendly kids' writing.
Speaker: And again, like, it borrows a lot from Mario RPG, which is, like, the most kind of character-filled and story-focused of that.
Speaker: I do like the puzzle element, even though they give away all the answers, like, immediately, which is a shame.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: But other than that, I haven't really got a lot of complaints about a book which I think was probably aimed at ten year olds for Mario.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I am annoyed I didn't get my stickers though.
Speaker: That's the thing that has lasted with this.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's a bummer.
Speaker: I thought it was fine.
Speaker: I thought it was fine.
Speaker: I was just I was comparing it to in my head.
Speaker: So my daughter just read Charlotte's Web for school.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: And she's 10.
Speaker: So I was like, all right, well, Charlotte's Web is a book with pretty complex themes and, you know, all that stuff.
Speaker: It's a kid's book, but, you know, yeah.
Speaker: And I was like thinking about that in comparison to this.
Speaker: And I was like, all right, so what age is this for?
Speaker: Is it for 10 or is it for younger?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: And then I got distracted and didn't really follow up on that thought.
Speaker: But, um, I, it's not like something I could, I wouldn't give it to my daughter.
Speaker: Uh, no, this is a bit, yeah.
Speaker: So maybe 10 is a bit, I think you would have to even be a bit younger.
Speaker: Seven, eight.
Speaker: This is like seven, eight, I think.
Speaker: Um, probably.
Speaker: So, yeah, it's fine.
Speaker: I think it does a good job of, like, not being very repetitive.
Speaker: Like, in terms of beats.
Speaker: A lot of variety.
Speaker: There's variety in locations and pulls in a lot of Mario stuff.
Speaker: And the only weird thing I'll say about it is that it's Mario talks...
Speaker: A lot.
Speaker: A lot.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like an unnerving amount.
Speaker: Even with the Chris Pratt Mario Brothers movie in the back of my mind, it still feels like an unnerving amount of dialogue from Mario.
Speaker: Yeah, and even then, Toad and Luigi, the way that they're written, they are goofy, kind of like, as you'd imagine, psychic characters would be, and you would kind of need that level of aim.
Speaker: But the fact that they made Mario kind of the level-headed one, again, that kind of dialogue doesn't feel right coming out of it as well.
Speaker: Again, not to brag too much on a book which is written for literal children.
Speaker: literal children literal children that hasn't listen that hasn't stopped us before um that's true i was gonna say so like assuming this is like the bedrock for like the youngest possible person this was written for what's it what's like the book that you've or what's something that you've written for this podcast which is like probably aimed at like the oldest person possible
Speaker: Okay, so something we've written, we've read for this podcast that is like in terms of reading level, like... Yeah, comprehension or just like the subject matter.
Speaker: Probably the Far Cry novelization that we read.
Speaker: Interesting.
Speaker: Because the author is very, stylistically, the author was very Cormac McCarthy.
Speaker: Huh, yeah.
Speaker: And the subject matter has to do with like, it's based on Far Cry 5, which has a lot to do, like one of the guys has like extremists and stuff, extremists and like cutting people's flesh off and nailing it to a wall.
Speaker: There's some really, really heavy stuff in that book.
Speaker: So.
Speaker: I'd probably say the Far Cry novelization is... Fair enough.
Speaker: And you would say that the level of reading comprehension for that as well is a little bit more kind of like... Yeah, it's definitely aimed at adults.
Speaker: And then Joseph Seed said this.
Speaker: And then Joseph Seed did this kind of thing.
Speaker: And then he cut off the skin on the woman's forehead and nailed it to the wall.
Speaker: Praise be the seed or whatever.
Speaker: I barely remember Far Cry 5.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: considering the fun I got out of Far Cry 5 I was like well if I just if it was just the story with none of the gameplay in it it's like oh god yeah imagine like David Cage version of Far Cry 5 is just the story straight up uncut story very little gameplay see now I'm imagining that there probably is a novelization of Heavy Rain out there
Speaker: She may have to end up doing on the pod.
Speaker: Heavy.
Speaker: You're looking at it.
Speaker: No, there's a book called Heavy Rain, but it doesn't look like it's about... The Oregon Killer.
Speaker: Yeah, no, there's several books titled Heavy Rain.
Speaker: Doesn't look like it's from the David Cage Heavy Rain.
Speaker: You dodged a bullet there.
Speaker: Dodged a bullet there.
Speaker: David Cage novelization?
Speaker: uh okay um now it doesn't seem to come up i'll i'll dig into it i'll dig into it just in case yeah yeah so i guess at this point in the show i always ask phil one question um and that question is what are you playing um
Speaker: Oh boy, well, I have been playing two games recently, if I'm allowed to quickly go into them.
Speaker: It's been funny, actually, because obviously we're recording this and it's towards the end of the year and it's like... All the kind of the big goat-y stuff has kind of come out now and I've got... Well, apart from Baldur's Gate 3, which I think my plan is sometime next year to make a start on that, just because I can't imagine a ton of stuff is coming out, so I will be...
Speaker: Yeah, 2024 seems a little droughty so far from what I've seen.
Speaker: It's a bit of drought.
Speaker: Like I know that Like a Dragon Infinite Wealth is out like right at the beginning of February, but I haven't gotten to any of the users yet.
Speaker: Seems like a good backlog year.
Speaker: oh yeah so boulders go for anything will be part of that but two games i've been playing at the moment one which is on mobile one which is on my pc uh the mobile game i've been playing is sonic dream team which is a uh ios exclusive but it's interesting because obviously some of the hedgehog game came out
Speaker: A couple of months ago, Sonic Superstars, which was like a... Technically, it's 2D presentation, but it's 3D rendering, but it's done in the style of Mania.
Speaker: I didn't like it massively based on what I had played, but... Sonic Dream Team feels like... Oh, this feels like another step in making a Sonic game, as in like...
Speaker: It's a little bit of forward kind of running and kind of obstacle course stuff, but then you have these little open areas, and it's a little bit more like... Almost kind of Tony Hawk-y in a weird way.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Like, it's a lot more about kind of using the environment to build up speed and get, like, little trinkets and stuff.
Speaker: Like, every level kind of has, like... It's like Mario 64.
Speaker: Like, every level has six objectives to complete, and it's like...
Speaker: beat it in this amount of time or this amount of trinkets and stuff.
Speaker: It's very cute.
Speaker: It does make my phone run very hot though.
Speaker: So if you're going to play it, I would suggest having a more up to date Apple device.
Speaker: I think this will probably work.
Speaker: It works on iPad.
Speaker: It works on Apple TV, basically anything that supports Apple Arcade.
Speaker: The other game that I have been playing is one that I kickstarted a few years ago and it's finally come out.
Speaker: It is a RPG called Knuckle Sandwich.
Speaker: Have you heard of this?
Speaker: I have not.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So Knuckle Sandwich is an interesting one.
Speaker: So the reason that I backed it and what I've been quite enjoying about it is that it is like a... So like if Baldur's Gate 3 is like a throwback to old PC CPRPGs and like obviously Bills and Larians work on stuff, this is very much a throwback to GBA stuff.
Speaker: So like Mother 3 and like Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga.
Speaker: So there was kind of like...
Speaker: A little bit more streamlined kind of overworld stuff, but also like the combat is very active.
Speaker: So like if you're like, you don't just like press a menu item and then like the attack plays out.
Speaker: Like they also expect you to do like a little mini game like to, you know, time it with the jump or whatever.
Speaker: But, uh, old Knuckle Samu's goes a step further in that all of these interactions are done in the style of WarioWare micro games.
Speaker: So, like, there's an attack which is called, like, Beatdown, and, like, it brings up a little window and it's like, Beatdown!
Speaker: Here's the inputs, go, go, go!
Speaker: And then you have to, like, mash your buttons and it plays this little animation to do that.
Speaker: Or there's one where it's, like,
Speaker: defend yourself and it's like you have to do like a ddr style thing so like basically there's like all these little micro games for like each little different thing but then the game itself is in the plot i haven't quite dug into yet but the presentation's really good it flip-flops between like this really like on point gba sprite rendering but then sometimes it does like ds style 3d where it's like low poly and very kind of um
Speaker: texture driven but then it does like Game Boy Color stuff when it's doing like flashes to the past.
Speaker: It's really interesting and all made by a single guy called Andrew Brophy.
Speaker: He did the like the graphics, the music, the like the programming and stuff like that.
Speaker: And yeah, I would say so far has been worth it was worth the wait.
Speaker: I'm slowly working through it at the moment.
Speaker: Interesting.
Speaker: Yes, being pretty good.
Speaker: What about you?
Speaker: What have you been playing?
Speaker: Let's see.
Speaker: I have been playing.
Speaker: The big thing I've been playing is Warhammer 40K Rogue Traitor, which is it's a lot of fun.
Speaker: It's also I mean, I Baldur's Gate three basically was like, oh, yeah, fuck.
Speaker: I do like CRPGs, don't I?
Speaker: It reminded me of that.
Speaker: So I got Rogue Trader and it's very much, if you're coming to it from Baldur's Gate 3, like don't expect the polish that's in Baldur's Gate 3 to be in Rogue Trader.
Speaker: Sure, yeah.
Speaker: Like Baldur's Gate 3, literally every line in the entire goddamn game is voice acted.
Speaker: Oh, God, right.
Speaker: So what do you do in Rogue Trader then?
Speaker: What's it?
Speaker: So like, what do you do in the 40k universe?
Speaker: So.
Speaker: So yeah, you're playing as a character who, when you start the game, is the heir to a house.
Speaker: You're just informed that you're the heir to a house called the Von Valencia's house, which is that house owns a trade warrant, which in the 40K universe, from what I understand, basically gives...
Speaker: It gives you the title of rogue trader and it lets you have almost full autonomy outside of the Imperium of Man's government.
Speaker: So like...
Speaker: It takes place in a section called the Kronos Expanse, which is basically set, which is like far outside of like the settled area of space.
Speaker: And it's like, all right, these rogue traders, they're the first ones out there.
Speaker: And it's kind of like the wild west, basically for Warhammer 40k.
Speaker: There isn't, don't expect a lot of support from the Imperium out there.
Speaker: So yeah, it's,
Speaker: There's like a tutorial mission where and you go through all the command, how to play and all that stuff.
Speaker: All the major gameplay elements, which include there's the combat portion and then there's like the portion where making decisions in dialogue options kind of takes you down one of three paths.
Speaker: which are iconoclastic, dogmatic, and heretical.
Speaker: Obviously, in heretical sense, that's usually not a safe way to go in the 40K universe, but you can if you want to.
Speaker: And yeah, after this opening segment, you are now in control of the ship, your character,
Speaker: And you have to go around and just start rebuilding the ship after it was attacked.
Speaker: And I just got to the end of towards the end, I think, of the first chapter of the game, which is still basically just like introducing all the systems in it.
Speaker: And I put about like 10 hours into the game.
Speaker: And that's including me restarting it because with CRPGs,
Speaker: inevitably I start the game with one build, play around for like a few hours and then go and restart it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm like, yeah, I feel like something else.
Speaker: So, but yeah, it's a lot of fun.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's very, reminds me a bit of Fallout.
Speaker: And it almost makes me think like,
Speaker: when I see these new CRPGs, I'm like, God damn it, Bethesda, you could, we could have a Fallout.
Speaker: We could have a classic CRPG Fallout.
Speaker: You know, it's not like it has to be
Speaker: It doesn't have to be first person.
Speaker: It doesn't have to be first person.
Speaker: Just give us that.
Speaker: It also uses cover mechanics, kind of like XCOM, half cover and full cover, which is neat.
Speaker: The whole system is kind of tough to... I haven't totally gotten it yet because it's different than...
Speaker: any other system I've played.
Speaker: But I'm slowly getting there.
Speaker: I mean, it's still based on dice rolls behind the scenes.
Speaker: It's still based on dice rolls.
Speaker: But the calculation of it is, it's whatever Games Workshop does.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But that's it.
Speaker: That's the big one I've been playing.
Speaker: Otherwise, on my Steam Deck, sometimes at night, I've been playing Stasis Bone Totem.
Speaker: I've never heard of that.
Speaker: So years ago, not that long ago, a few years ago, I'd say 2015 or 16, there was a game called Stasis, which was a point and click horror game.
Speaker: It's like isometric point and click, and you're just kind of like going around.
Speaker: It's spooky and all that.
Speaker: And it's...
Speaker: It was very difficult because... It was one of those games where if you solve the puzzle wrong, your character... It's not like you get another chance.
Speaker: Your character just fucking dies.
Speaker: Like, oh, you put the wrong thing in the thing.
Speaker: The thing exploded.
Speaker: Your character...
Speaker: got something on them and they melted into a puddle.
Speaker: Stuff like that.
Speaker: Stasis bone totem, they've kind of learned a little bit that that's a little bit frustrating.
Speaker: So the first time I solved the puzzle wrong and my character died, instead of like starting me back at the last save, it just started me back right there and unlocked a like...
Speaker: You found the first death or something like that.
Speaker: Oh, interesting.
Speaker: It's like, just keep playing.
Speaker: Keep going.
Speaker: You have seen that death scene once.
Speaker: It won't happen.
Speaker: And even if you solve it wrong again, it doesn't play the death scene again.
Speaker: You can just keep playing.
Speaker: It just turns off.
Speaker: the death for that puzzle once you experience it the first time.
Speaker: So yeah, it's an interesting little game.
Speaker: I haven't gotten too far into it, but it's a lot of fun so far.
Speaker: Well, please.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So James, why don't you go ahead and plug where people can find you?
Speaker: Yeah, sure.
Speaker: You can probably still find me at this point over on xbrackets, formerly Twitter, at HotSider.
Speaker: I'm still making videos at the moment as well.
Speaker: I'm hoping to have, because we're recording this around Christmas time.
Speaker: I am working on two things at the moment, which I do not think will be going out either before or even after.
Speaker: These might come in right in January.
Speaker: So that...
Speaker: Yeah, I'm always happy to come back here as well.
Speaker: Yeah, and we're always glad to have you.
Speaker: As for us, you can find PixletPod on X, on Twixtre and Instagram and all the other platforms.
Speaker: Blue Sky, wherever.
Speaker: You can find us on just search at pixel at pod.
Speaker: You can find us there.
Speaker: If you get a pixel at pod.com, you'll just be redirected right over to our Patreon page.
Speaker: You can go to patreon.com slash pixel at pod.
Speaker: If you really, really love us, you can throw some money.
Speaker: We have three tiers, $1, $5 and $10, $10 gets you a shout out at the end of the episode.
Speaker: And we have more people to shout out now.
Speaker: Actually, let me look up because th is is the first time I'm shouting out these additional folks.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, here we go.
Speaker: Audience.
Speaker: Who do we got?
Speaker: We got, we got, all right, so our traditional friendly friends
Speaker: You've been shouted out forever.
Speaker: Thank you so much, friendly friend.
Speaker: We also have Jesus Loves You.
Speaker: Lord, I hope he does.
Speaker: And Ruthless Mutter, thank you so much for being our Geek Scholars, throwing us $10 a month.
Speaker: We truly, truly appreciate it.
Speaker: Until next time, thank you so much for listening, everybody, and have a good evening.
Speaker: Bye.
