Transcript
Speaker: I'm Molly. And I'm Diana. We went from local BFFs to long-distance ones. Who talks so much? It's like we live together. Since we know we're not the only ones with this kind of connection, we decided to open up the conversation and invite you inside.
Speaker: Welcome to Long Distance Roomies.
Speaker: Hi, Dee. Welcome back to Long Distance Roomies. I've missed you. I missed you too. You look so summery and sunshiny and glowing. so i am I'm happy to be here with you and I'm happy that to be here with all of our listeners, our residents. So everyone makes sure to like, rate, subscribe, share, follow us on Apple, Spotify, Instagram, YouTube, all the things that long distance roomies pop. podcast tell all of your friends also share share share don't be shy we know you want to hear about dick pics come on dick pics relationship equity we've got a great episode real juicy one for you coming up too
Speaker: hearing the housekeeping sound is also just reminding me that i got a new vacuum and yet because i still am who i am i haven't used it And you got a really nice vacuum too. I know. Right? and My housekeeper used it, but and I plan on using it this weekend. I also want to use it to clean my car.
Speaker: Oh. I've cut all of my memberships. I saved myself almost $300 of cutting subscriptions. Whoa. And that was my car wash, but I bought the cool new vacuums that I could vacuum inside my car myself.
Speaker: Oh, that's smart. I made an investment. You made an investment as long as you actually use it, right? I mean, I should use a vacuum. Like in life, I should. Yeah. but I'll use it.
Speaker: Okay. Well, so to this week, or i guess maybe like the last week and a half. I think it's this last week. but is It was July 3rd. July 3rd. Okay.
Speaker: So we're just about a week over our 10-year anniversary as friends. which feels like a housekeeping note worth making.
Speaker: I am shocked. I was reminded of it because we met at our mutual friend Dougie and Allie's wedding. Yes. they posted on Instagram their 10-year anniversary. And I was like, oh my God, that means that was our 10-year anniversary. so that is- Well, I love that.
Speaker: Sorry, I was just to that every time they have an anniversary, it's really a reminder of our anniversary. Yeah. Because isn't that what it really matters? Yeah, exactly. But no, we shout out to Dougie and Allie. We love you guys. They're an amazing couple. And that was such a that was such a fun wedding, I'm sure. you know We've all been to weddings where you go and you're like, woo.
Speaker: It's not the vibe, but that was a party and they were so in love and it was a great celebration. And again, most importantly, it brought us together. So that's that's what we need to celebrate. our Our next piece of housekeeping is that I'm i'm still dating my mystery man and things are things are going well.
Speaker: We had a really- You were unavailable for a phone call last night and it's the first time in a really long time that's happened. And I was like, oh no, this is- This is what it's like when my roommate's on a date. I know. And this date, okay, this date, it was a three plus hour breathwork experience called Vitality with a w run by this gigantic Russian man. And he tours around the country, the world doing these breathworks. It was in a convention center in in a room. There were about 200 people all doing this crazy breathwork practice. There were All sorts of interesting things to it. But yes, I had to have my phone on silent. So apologies for not being able to pick up your call.
Speaker: But it won't happen again, I promise. Well, I don't know about that date. So sounds like either way. Yes. Just kidding. Was it fun or was it like – It was really time It was intense. i was We were screaming.
Speaker: I cried. Oh, really? Which interesting for a date. but Yes. But we were saying after, we're like, you know what? I actually felt comfortable with you and safe doing that because we're right next to each other. But the whole thing, you're wearing an eye mask so you're not actually looking at each other. But there was a part of it where- that's good.
Speaker: Where we had to stare into each other's eyes and talk to each other. was very like tantric. um But it was it was an interesting date. How did you like that celibacy after that?
Speaker: You know, the celibacy is still going strong. We'll see how long it goes. But we're we're still there. We're about three weeks in now. So, you know, I'll i'll keep you What number date are you on? I have no idea. What number date don't know. You've lost count of how many dates you've been on.
Speaker: Maybe five. Maybe five. Okay. I think. um and before before our breath work, he cooked me dinner. Like he he loves cooking me dinner, which is great.
Speaker: But it was it was a – I think it's fair to say that we would classify him under short king category. Is that fair?
Speaker: He is a short king and he's shorter than me. i pretty I'm pretty tall for a woman. I'm not freakishly tall. I'm 5'8", maybe a little bit north of there. And he's definitely shorter than me. Usually I'm going for guys who are six to and up And I'm actually really enjoying dating someone who is not a tall guy. I feel like a lot of tall guys can be lazy because it's really easy for them to get girls just on behalf of the fact that they're tall. And I think I was a bit of a – I think I was a bit of a heightist.
Speaker: and you know and And, you know, I'm thinking about it. i understand women wanting to date a tall man.
Speaker: There's this idea of hypergamy or dating up, marrying up. And you it's basically the idea of they this person has higher mating value.
Speaker: So you want to date someone who can give you tall children. i don't have kids. I don't want kids. So it's like, it doesn't, it doesn't really matter to me.
Speaker: And when I first started matchmaking way back in the day, I was trained to help convince women to date shorter men by reminding them that everyone is the same height when they're laying down.
Speaker: And that is true. o i like that. I've never been a heightist, to be honest. My daughter's dad is not that much taller than me. He's like five, seven. And I feel like he has like presence too.
Speaker: Like you he doesn't seem like us he's on the shorter side. My first ex-husband, which I guess is another story, it's tall. And I like completely forget that he was, that I ever was with him, which also is another story for another day. But like, i don't, I have no memory of the tall part of him.
Speaker: Like that was never a part of the attraction. And then, but I am sort of curious or wanting to maybe, because my boyfriend was pretty tall.
Speaker: I don't know. It's not that important to me. It's attractive. It is attractive. But I think it's more attractive in a way that's about confidence, not actually about the height itself. Like if somebody were really tall, but they were...
Speaker: really hunched over and like slumpy and self-conscious of their height. I don't actually think that that the height would be that attractive, but if they like, aren't that tall, but walk tall, which is how I am often described that that confidence goes really far.
Speaker: It does. and But I think what you were saying is right. It's about presence. And yeah my mystery man, he has presence. He definitely has. And he's he's also like buff and built. So i don't feel i don't feel like I'm bigger than him, even though I'm a little bit taller than him. And I asked him, i said, you know, I like wearing heels.
Speaker: What do you think about that? He's like, I think it's hot. I love long legs. And, you know, when you're wearing heels, your boobs are right in my face. So I'm totally fine with that. And I said, okay.
Speaker: Okay. That means he's a confident man. And he has good taste. So – i You know, I am i am open i'm open to it, and I feel like for moving forward, because yes, he's a wonderful man, but I'm moving. We want different things. This is not my person. But moving forward, i think I'm going to be a lot more open to a short king. As long as they don't have a Napoleon complex, that's that's a definite no-no. He's super insecure and feels like they...
Speaker: have to compensate. But I think that there are a lot of hidden gems who are a little bit shorter, who I wouldn't consider before, who now I'm very open to considering.
Speaker: So I'm excited about that. This is gross. This is gross. This is gross. You're growing. so happy for you. I'm big girl.
Speaker: Literally and figuratively. Exactly. Exactly. You're a growing girl, a bigger girl. I am a growing girl. cute Cute, growing, bigger girl. Let's go into our new segment. We're calling this the group chat.
Speaker: For all the friends, which we feel like are totally like the roomies, besties kind of crowd that and group that we have here, which is the kind of friend that you are DMing things and texting them at the same time. You're having two different parallel conversations and sharing things on the internet. And yeah we do that all the time together. But there's actually- All day, every day.
Speaker: All day, every day. There's actually a scientific word for it or like so so sociological word for it. And it's called pebbling. And it's the act of like sending TikTok reels or links to friends and partners. And it comes out of this concept from, i guess, Gentoo Penguins.
Speaker: which who basically like search for the perfect pebble as a gift to give their mates as a token of their affection. And basically for our human experience, it's like a light lift of a gift that's not that hard, but it's like, I'm thinking of you. Here's my pebble from Instagram.
Speaker: And it's like a bid for connection kind of moment. So we have a couple that we wanted to talk about. Do you want to share, Molly, what some of our highlights were from this week?
Speaker: Yes. And we, like I said, we're we're sending we're sending these all day, every day. So this is just a couple of our our favorites. So I found i found this reel and it was it was talking about this woman and she's like, can your crush get you out of jail?
Speaker: That is what you should be thinking about. if you really want to catch feelings for someone, is that someone that you can rely on when the shit hits the fan and you need you need someone to call and be like, help me. I'm behind bars.
Speaker: Yeah. And not in this like, don't judge me. I did something bad. Like that wasn't actually, she took it further in the real and actually in a very succinct way, which was like, no, is this person a problem solver?
Speaker: is this person like financially connected? Does this person, is this the kind of person that's like, listen, I know a guy who knows a guy who can get you the blah, blah, blah. Like that's the pool that we need to be swimming in.
Speaker: And I think also what happens a lot, another reel that we actually sent to each other, or i think you may have sent it to me this week, but it was like, if a man makes you feel, or like if you're dating somebody who makes you feel like a kid, you're dating a man. If you date somebody who makes you feel like a mom, you're dating a boy.
Speaker: And then what was the third part? If – I forget what it was, but it was like then you're dating a loser. So I forget – I forget exactly what but it was. But i think the two are kind of connected because like – And I've dated many a man who makes me feel like a mom when I am with them.
Speaker: And then i have not very actually – That's not sexy. And like I feel like with a lot of them, if I were in jail, I would be calling them like, okay, now – call.
Speaker: Actually, they probably, and I think this is ultimately why I ended up getting divorced twice, was the realization that neither of my husbands would have been my first call. that's That is a really big deal. And fun fact, my ex-husband proposed to me in a jail cell.
Speaker: Oh yeah, that's right. it was not a joke. It was a joke. It was a joke, but definitely an interesting start to our married life that no longer exists. Maybe that was like a joke that's like,
Speaker: funnier in theory lesson practice? Yes. Kind of marriage. Yeah. There you go. i feel like it was the perfect encapsulation of that. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. But I think so much of dating is really understanding how someone does make you feel. And instead of trying to prove that you make them feel a certain way, really just focus on yourself, ladies. That's, that's the key. Focus on you, see how you feel and then move on to the next or invest more. It's up to you.
Speaker: yeah And like I said before, it's not that you were, this isn't a judgment thing. or character call on whether you would do anything that deserves you being put in jail or anything like that. It's just like in true long partnership, it's like life's hard. It's who you can rely on to help problem solve with you. It's not, I think women especially can get into situations where because women are so good at this, which is just like solving everyone's problems for them.
Speaker: And it's also like allowing yourself like checking yourself at the door to not do that and to actually like just because you can't solve the problem doesn't mean you have to. And by letting or giving somebody the chance to solve it themselves, you actually learn a lot about their problem solving ability.
Speaker: And if it's, dry and I know you don't have kids, Molly, but like these are important things to take record of before you have a child because parenting is all about problem solving, whether it's about putting the fucking,
Speaker: car seat correctly into the car or like your kid comes home from school after being bullied and those are real if you're if you're not with someone who you can solve problems with you're gonna be on a rough rough road Well, and it's not just can you solve problems together? Will they get in the way of you solving the problem that needs to be solved as well?
Speaker: And I know that's something that you've dealt with. That's certainly something yeah that I've dealt with. And then that makes it so frustrating because there is this sense of if you want to solve everything, then – you are being a little bit controlling, but sometimes you just can't, you can't rely on the other person and you have to take control and that sucks.
Speaker: Totally. Totally. Okay. Let's take this moment to now have, get our next set of chores.
Speaker: What I like about this laundry sound, is it also like, maybe it's because I haven't had any sort of intimacy in so long. But it feels like like what the sound might be if you're having sat on the washing machine. ok I like that. Listen, I'm starting to have sex dreams again.
Speaker: It's happening. It's happening. You know, I feel like for me, even though I'm not actually having sex right now, I am having a little bit more intimacy and connection in my life.
Speaker: And yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if I start having those sex dreams again soon too. Good for you. We'll see. We'll see. Yeah. So what's going on? What's the, yeah, what is the dirty laundry for you?
Speaker: Well, it's it's funny because we kind of touched on this actually a second ago in terms of parenting. And like when some of the, something that somebody once said to me, which is actually, I think a pretty common phrase in parenting, which is like the bigger the kid, the bigger the problem. We have graduated from the car seat installation problems. And now we are in the, our child is getting bullied stage of life. And she is in between kindergarten and first grade.
Speaker: We were dealing with this all through kindergarten with this girl bullying our daughter. And, you know, I'm not proud that I hate a six-year-old, but I do.
Speaker: it's Some six-year-olds are terrible. They just are. oh And I look at her face in the school picture that hangs on our fridge, and I just want to, like, draw a giant X through it. Why not? Why not?
Speaker: Why not? That's a good question. Something to consider. Something to consider. Teach her how to be petty now. Although my daughter has been really giving this girl a chance over and over. And I think it's because of her need for validation, which I've been working on teaching her to not seek.
Speaker: And sometimes I am in conflict with her dad about this because he, and I don't want to get too much into the details, but of the whole saga of what was going on in the year, but just net, net, she told us that she was crying every day in the bathroom and the teachers had no idea. and she was basically, she told us that she was going into the bathroom when she was getting upset and basically like crying it out and then putting herself back together and then going back into the classroom with a big smile on her face.
Speaker: If that is not just like patriarchy, he even though it's with another girl, but still we're we're we're told that we should just deal with our emotions and and just pretend that everything's fine.
Speaker: i know. and But then she also was confident and comfortable enough with us to tell us that she was doing it. And so there's like it's multi-layered and like on one level I'm so proud of her that she was able to take care of her own feelings.
Speaker: and like get back into the situation and get through her day. And then also proud of her to feel comfortable enough to tell us. But I keep reminding her dad, like that's the sanctity of that trust is so fragile.
Speaker: It will be half, that is the exact sort of trust that we want to have her carry through her entire life because we cannot control the cars that she gets into, the boys that she talks to, the drinks that she has.
Speaker: All we can control is how much she trusts us to be able to tell us if she's in in a bad situation to call us, to not be scared of us. So that is what I'm always just trying to protect as much as possible, which actually leads me to this moment. I picked her up from camp last Thursday and the counselor comes up to me and is like so worked up because the girl from kindergarten has been is in her camp with her and was bullying her.
Speaker: And this teenage counselor is like, worked up over it because she couldn't believe that this was happening. And what Alice, excuse me, what my daughter had done, named alice um she, she took the counselor aside and said, excuse me, can we have some personal time? Which is what she says. I've taught taught her to say to me if something is making her uncomfortable and she needs to talk about it. So she said, can we have some personal time?
Speaker: This person is bullying me and making me feel bad and bob blah, blah, blah. And they decided to basically separate them And her best friend is in the camp and her mom is one of my best friends and they talk separately. And the her best friend and the mom validated the entire thing that had been going on in camp.
Speaker: So it wasn't just like my daughter being extra sensitive. Like her friend was like, no, this girl is like mean and is always trying to make Alice the only be a baby. She always has to pretend to be a baby.
Speaker: And which drives me crazy. Anyway, I've all worked up about it while driving. And was like, I'm just going to, going to get this girl's mom's number and I'm going to call the mom. Like this has been going on all year. This is so stupid. I'm just going to talk to the mom about it.
Speaker: And then this weird like parenting fairy like bonked me on the head. And I was like, ill Alice, would you be comfortable? I asked her, are you comfortable with me reaching out to this girl's mom and having a conversation with her about this?
Speaker: Wow. And I like literally can't believe I had the wherewithal to know. And she said, no, mommy, it's okay. I really appreciate that you asked me, but I know what to do.
Speaker: I can handle this on my own. I'm just going to ignore her. Don't worry about me, mommy. I'm growing up. Oh my God. i mean, that's, that is wild because she's not even six years old She's growing up. She, she is growing up. But one of the things that she will learn when she does grow up is that you do not deal with a bully by ignoring them.
Speaker: You deal with a bully by punching them in the fucking face. now but i just That is the truth. And that is what I will start telling her when she's older. I can't like, what is the, what is the punching the six year olds in the face move from the other six year olds?
Speaker: That's like, Classy, it's not the high road because you know I don't believe in the high road. I believe in the fair road. it's the fair road. what it? think it comes down to what is the bullying actually entailing? And she just needs to serve it right back.
Speaker: And just be like, no, you be a baby. Yeah. You talk like a baby. Yeah. She just talks back to her. Well, this girl's really tall and Alice is the smallest in her class. And I wonder if this girl's actually kind of like bullying her on her size.
Speaker: Hmm. And what also pushes me off is in this like having to be a baby is she's encouraged. She has to talk like a baby and it's basically talking stupid. And what bothers me is that one of Alice's greatest strengths is obviously her community are her communication skills and it intimidates this girl. And so in order for this girl to feel comfortable around Alice, Alice has to dump herself down to her level or below tur play nice with this girl.
Speaker: I mean, she just needs to be like, you're stupid. Stop trying to make me dumb. Yeah. Maybe that's what it is. I think that's what it is. Because this girl's clearly – Yeah, just start calling. I know this is really interesting parenting advice, but just in terms of how to deal with a bully, you just – you've got to give it to them back or else they're going to keep going. If you ignore them, then they're not going to stop their behavior. They're not.
Speaker: So she's just got to go do that. She's got to go do that. so Go be a bully. you'll have to You'll have to give us an update on that for sure. but You know it. you know She's a sweetheart and you're a great mom.
Speaker: Thank you. I feel like this is also a good place to start going into our tea time because I'm sure this is also some part of therapy talk as well. which How to... How to teach your kid how to bully or fight back, not bully. Right. Yes. i So it was funny. This this past week for therapy, I have therapy in the middle of my workday. That's tough. I wouldn't be able to do that.
Speaker: It depends on the week. Sometimes it's easier than others. I was going into this therapy session. I know we've talked about in the past where like, oh, i feel like I have nothing to talk about. And I was thinking that. I was like, wow, what am I even going to talk about? And then I literally spent the entire session like ugly crying.
Speaker: And, and it was so, it was such a powerful, amazing session. I've just been dealing with some anxiety with some life changes that I have. And my therapist gave me the best advice.
Speaker: And i you know, I, I deal with thoughts that can sometimes be a bit intrusive and anxious. And my therapist said, you know what, when you're having those thoughts, you You believe them because they're in your voice.
Speaker: What if when you're having those thoughts, you change them into Donald Trump's annoying voice? Because you know he's a fucking liar.
Speaker: And you you know that you don't want to listen to a thing that he says. So just pretend that it's Donald Trump's Right. Just pretend that it's Donald Trump saying these things that are not really true.
Speaker: and And then little by little, you're going to be able to no longer have those thought loops in your mind. and so I love that. I thought that was brilliant. That is the best.
Speaker: I thought that was really brilliant. And I have the best therapist. Her name is Zulma. She has a podcast, Keeping It Real with Zulma, the swearing therapist. So everyone should listen to that. She's she's really just the best.
Speaker: a big Sounds like my kind of girl. i'm this I'm the swearing mom. Alice doesn't even notice when I swear. People will try to You're like, oh, oh shoot, sorry. I'm sorry I said bad word. i'm like, she doesn't even notice. It's just like regular messages for That's really, really funny.
Speaker: So in other moments of our self-care, I know something that was really big for the both of us in the last few years is our welcoming moments of medication. We are both like pretty witchy, woo-woo, natural girlies.
Speaker: So I think it may have taken us That's maybe taken us a long time to get on this train or just enough therapy and self-reflection and life stuff.
Speaker: And like everything's right on time. We're never late. But do you want to share or go into what your... Yes. Like you're diagnosed with this and stuff?
Speaker: Yeah. So I've talked about – I have ADHD and I did not get diagnosed until – it was only four years ago. so I was 37 when i got diagnosed.
Speaker: and it made so much sense after I realized it because most women who have ADHD, they're not hyperactive or impulsive. And so, and I always did pretty well in school. And so i just, I didn't get it. And so finally after therapy, realizing with Zulma, was like, i probably have ADHD. And then I got, um, and then I got my diagnosis and then I went on medication. So I'm on Concerta, which is Ritalin and it has totally changed my life. And it is absolutely one of the catalysts for me getting divorced because as soon as I started to be able to think clearly, i realized how like fucked up and toxic my marriage was. And, and then I, interesting i like once you were able to put your thoughts in drawers, you could like
Speaker: See clearly. I saw clearly. And then I separated from my husband nine months after that. So that was a huge game changer for me. i you know I think a lot of people talk down about ADHD medication and I think a lot of people definitely abuse it. But if – you actually have ADHD and you are on the right dosage and the right medication, it will change your life for the better. Highly, highly recommend. So that is that is my medication journey. And even though I am magical and woo and believe in natural therapies, I also believe in science. So yeah.
Speaker: Right? Yeah. Both can be – two things can be true at the same time. Yeah. Well, so that leads me to my Zoloft journey.
Speaker: I, my whole life, my entire, it was a family joke. Oh, Diana cries every day. Oh yeah. Well, Diana cries every day. Yeah. It's part of her charm. And then last year, and this was now after my divorce, I was waking up at like five in the morning on the mornings. I didn't have my daughter when she was with her dad.
Speaker: And I was crying nonstop for like five hours, like the whole time on the train to work, like the first half hour of work, like I could not get out of it. And I remember my sister saying to me at the time, like, if you, like, what are you waiting for?
Speaker: Once you start taking something like that, you're going to start thinking, what took me so long? And within 72 hours, I literally felt, like I literally felt some, the feeling of like wanting to be stressed out, but it just like literally rolling off the back of my shoulder, like, hu and because I would get emotionally fixated on things and it would make it impossible for me to move on with my day or get other things done in my day. And actually often what I would do was smoke pot because I would like want to giggle or feel light or like have something else change my mood. And actually, I think that's part of why I've been able to now, after all these years, stop smoking weed too, because I don't need it to get myself out of the emotional freeze that like obsessive negative thought that I'm in.
Speaker: emotional. That's so funny you say that. I was completely self-medicating with weed as well for ADHD, which is very, very common. who And I also have recently stopped smoking after smoking since i was all regularly since I was a teenager.
Speaker: And, you know, no shame to weed smokers here, but i think we we we do love them. But both of us are on a a cannabis break. I don't know if it's going to be permanent or not, but it just feels it feels right. So I i definitely am i feel like the ah the ADHD meds are a little bit of a better fit for me, at least at this moment.
Speaker: Love that. Let's pull a card from our our favorite oracle deck, Shaman's Dream. What do we have? I can't see it. Feast of Plenty. Feast of Choices and their consequences.
Speaker: What does it say? like Choices and other consequences. Love this. Let's have a Feast of Plenty, baby. So a great feast is laid out before you and requires you to choose.
Speaker: You have a plethora of options right now. And while that may seem to be an extraordinary thing, too many choices can throw you off balance. So that's something to keep aware of too. okay One warning, avoid the same choice if it keeps you hungry. h That's interesting.
Speaker: If something didn't feel good or does not bring you what it seemingly eponymous, do not choose that again. well and I think we, a lot of times you end up choosing something that is not healthy for you, that does not make you feel good just because it's the familiar choice and it's your comfort zone. Whereas if you actually chose something that was healthier and better for you, you would enjoy it more and feel better, but you're not willing to you know tiptoe into that new area that's unknown. Well, that's like literally what trauma is and why people like still choose the same the same negative relationships. It's because it's what they know.
Speaker: And it's like, then they know the negative. Yeah. Makes me think about just some people I know who are in that situation. this One of the women I told you about who was like, i just don't like, she was like, being divorced must be so horrible, right? Like, I'd rather be with this person because i don't think that I would could like ever be divorced because I could probably never do better. And I remember being like,
Speaker: That is not true. That is so sad that she thinks that. i I love being divorced. Me too. It's really a dream come true. And for someone who thought that being married to my ex-husband was the be all, end all, like let me tell you, ladies, if you were if you're thinking maybe I should get a divorce, do it.
Speaker: Just do it. Please. You will be so much happier. you'll be Obviously, like if if there's something you can work through, then don't rush into it. But if you know yeah this is not my person, get out. Get out.
Speaker: And like listen, it's going rough for a year or two. but like For sure. It's brutal. It's going to be real rough. Well worth it, though. and And to quote this, the feast is yours to enjoy.
Speaker: the feast of life is yours to enjoy. You must enjoy it. Oh, I'm enjoying it. Always go back for more when you're hungry again.
Speaker: Well, that's perfect. i wish to I wish that everyone that we care about as well as all of our residents, our audience would follow that advice because that is really, really important. Words to live by. Totally.
Speaker: Okay, so for next week, our next episode, we interview a nun who's been celibate for 30 years and is leaving the order and hoping to dive into the dating scene for the first time.
Speaker: Well, she is in for quite a surprise, let me tell you. Cannot wait canno i wait to talk to talk to this woman. Sister Ellen. Yes, Sister Ellen. oh i can't i I'm really looking forward to that conversation. been celibate for six months and I'm like, am I a virgin again? Can you imagine being celibate for 30 years? Wow. I know. Wow.
Speaker: Well, everyone, I'm sure you guys are all looking forward to that. So, oh, are you are you ready? Are you ready for our saging? I love the sound of the lighter. It's a good sound.
Speaker: I light mine off my candle. That's smart. Because have a lighter and my matches are wonk. I know. Now that I don't smoke weed, I don't have really lighters anywhere. I have Palo Santo that I light, but i'm you know I've got my my favorite spray because I'm just like a little bit hesitant to light Palo Santo and sage on my bed.
Speaker: but and I'm in the desert. you know It's pretty dry here. Yeah. so So where i'm goingnna I'm going to stick with the spray or the the little the little magic dust that I had in the past as well.
Speaker: But I think, you know, we were talking about something that we were that we were letting go of, both of us letting go of regularly smoking weed. Mm-hmm. Which is, know, when we fell in love at our friend Dougie and Allie's wedding, we bonded over the fact that I had vape, a weed vape in my little purse. And I've never met And I had never met another gal in my adult life who was like, oh, you want to hit on my pen? i was like, this is my girl. I
Speaker: it's but now here we are. i know. it's and we're in a new york chapter, weedless together. We are weedless together. And um and I think it's it's been really good for us. I know for me, it's helped me to, I think, process some emotions that I didn't realize were unprocessed for a really long time. And it's been really good for sleep.
Speaker: And I'm dreaming again for the first time in God knows how long. I know you're having some pretty wild, lucid dreams. Mine are – I had a weird one last night right before I woke up, I was – I caught a grasshopper and I tried to throw it in the garbage and then it jumped away. it was weird. My mom was there. I don't know what's going on.
Speaker: it was It was a strange one. but But it is nice to be able to dream again because I didn't really dream for so long because I'm eating weed before I would go to sleep. I know. And now one of the things, and we I was actually going to talk about this in my self-care in my tea time, but it's now been like three months since I've stopped smoking. And now I'm sleeping in.
Speaker: And by sleeping in, I mean like waking up at 7.45, 8, 8.15, even on the days I don't have my daughter, which I literally haven't done since before she was born. That's late. That's late.
Speaker: That's late. I mean, I i rarely will sleep in to eight o'clock. Yeah. And listen, she wakes up at 5.45.6. So it's like me making up on the days that I don't have her. But like, I'm finally feeling rested again after like six years.
Speaker: Feels so good. i think it was for the best. I really think it was for the best. Well, on a bit on that- Sorry, just want to say one other thing. If anyone worries if they're going to stop smoking pot, if they're not going have anything in common with their friends who they were smoking pot with, we are a testament to the fact that your friendships will prevail if they are real friends.
Speaker: This is true. And when I first started, because I'm a few months before you, you were still smoking. And i you know, and I think I certainly was not pressuring you, but I think you did accept my influence in the fact that I was just sharing my experience and how easy it was for me. And I'm someone who smoked like um pretty much every day for decades. Yeah.
Speaker: And I just don't even miss it. And it was not difficult to stop smoking at all. So yeah. Amazing. but That's a great, that is a great point. And I still have plenty of friends who smoke weed and I'm happy to hang out with them.
Speaker: No, no judgment at all. But D, this was another fabulous chat. I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. Hopefully our audience will as well. Again, make sure you like, rate us five stars, subscribe, Apple, YouTube, Spotify, Instagram, share with all of your friends, send us questions. we We love and appreciate you all and we will see you. See you in the mail In the mail room.
Speaker: Thanks, everyone. Bye. Bye.
