Transcript
Speaker: Do you feel like sperm on your face constantly is is helping you? Yeah. Okay. And I love salmon. And you love sperm. And I love sperm. So lucky me.
Speaker: Welcome to Long Distance Rimmies.
Speaker: Hey, Dee. Welcome back. Welcome back. Long Distance Rimmies. We're here. Finally. i mean, it hasn't been that long for us, but I feel like whenever I'm not doing this, like I'm sad. makes It feels like coming home every time I get to create an episode. That's why we love it.
Speaker: It brings me such joy. This is episode 11. We're so excited. So please make sure that you are following us on Instagram and YouTube at Long Distance Roomies Podcast.
Speaker: Make sure you like all of our posts and and you subscribe, and you follow, and please, please, please, on Apple and Spotify, make sure you rate us five stars. It really, really helps us get out there into the world. And and if you have any emails for us, send them to longdistance.roomiespod at gmail.com.
Speaker: DM us on Instagram, all the things. Give us your, if you need advice, if you want help on your dating profile. We are well-versed in dating. Like we have experience. I literally am a professional matchmaker and dating coach. We know what i'm talking about.
Speaker: And I'm a cautionary tale. Same. you As my mom always says, the wisdom purchased with grief. And boy, have we purchased a lot of that wisdom. Let's go into housekeeping and revisit some of our...
Speaker: um
Speaker: Your face when you hit a sound on the soundboard. Really? high face, so I don't even know. It's just so fun for me. Again, we're channeling Danny Pellegrino.
Speaker: I know. I love it. You really you really hit that button. um So something that people were really little, just kind of tizzied about, which is the age old question, can men and women just be friends? And we ended up having a lot of guys getting insecure guys getting pissed that they were being called out um because they obviously didn't think that women were smart enough to know their game or er' that they thought that like,
Speaker: they could just, i don't know, slip in the back door on friendship. And what do you think about that?
Speaker: You know, i think there's a lot of, willful ignorance on both sides when it comes to male and female relationships. And and yeah, I think i think the the men who were commenting and getting really triggered by that post were coming from a place of being called out. And i think also they don't even realize that that is an issue, that wanting to have sex with a woman that you're friends with would be a problem. And and the reason why i think it is challenging for women is because
Speaker: you You can't necessarily feel completely safe when you are with someone who does want to have sex with you. Correct. Yeah. And also i think one thing that I was writing in the comments to that in response to some of these men is that Also, men don't realize that most like sexual assaults happen with people who you know. So again, we're not we're not saying that that's what these men are doing, but there is a there's always that risk of that. And women always have to consider their safety when it comes to spending any time, especially alone, with another man, even if he's just a friend.
Speaker: and they're all And I think what guys don't necessarily understand is how much women are always inherently thinking about their safety. It's like this hypervigilance. It's always playing in the background. Yeah. yeah and And sometimes I don't even think women are necessarily as aware of it. Even having to go on a drink with a male colleague.
Speaker: I didn't end up having to do it, but I was supposed to go out for a drink after an event that I was shooting with a male colleague. And I instinctively like didn't want to go...
Speaker: alone. um Where it's like a one-on-one situation because you just... And that's things that men are just not thinking about when they're making those kinds of plans and to have to like navigate that in the workplace. And, you know, it's just complicated. But I think what we were also talking about in this, like, can women and men just be friends is like the actual part of it that's like the sexual tension or the like blurriness of a heteronormative friendship. And I think just like pretty simply women are either thinking about whether they are not thinking about it all and men are always kind of thinking about if they have a chance.
Speaker: And I think very simply, like most men, if given the chance, are just going to. Not even it because they necessarily like you. It's not like they're secretly in love with you and just hanging out with you all the time. No. No, it's physical.
Speaker: Yeah. and One second. Do you hear that? Yeah, what was that? Somebody has a very loud...
Speaker: too good fucking motorcycle. Did something collapse? wonder how small his dick is. It's not large. It's definitely not large. not large. like We're in a small sleepy town. I know.
Speaker: It's like you don't need to make that noise. Put your tiny dick back in its little pocket. Bye. I think another another thing that is very triggering to men about this conversation is the fact that just because men would be willing to have sex with a woman does not mean that the woman would be interested or willing to have sex with someone who she considered a friend. And it's almost like an ego hit to them that, yeah, they feel that way. Yeah. it Even if it doesn't matter that much to them, they still would want to have sex with a woman. And a woman is just not.
Speaker: she's not going to feel the same way. And that is upsetting and triggering to these men because they have very fragile egos. but What are some of the comments this week that we've got on previous videos or posts that made you laugh?
Speaker: ah I thought something that was so funny was because we had, um there was that one clip and you were talking about how your tarot reader told you that you would be dating someone younger.
Speaker: yeah. many men were triggered by the fact you went to a tarot reading. Why? like i that i I do not understand why that is so offensive. And again, I think its it's just it's one of those things that tarot, astrology, we had the whole conversation about my love for romanticcy books. Anything that women inherently like and are passionate about, they automatically want to shit on.
Speaker: because i know it's too feminine. And because women like it, it must not actually be worthy of men paying attention to it or respecting it. Or Yeah.
Speaker: When actually our demographic is the most valuable demographic in terms of capitalism. So actually all the shit that we do is pretty fucking cool for the things that we like. And just because you aren't familiar with something doesn't mean it's bad or wrong or it doesn't actually have benefits.
Speaker: like Yeah. Give it a try. it's I love tarot. I love astrology. I love all of that stuff. Me too. We love, we believe very strongly that a woo-woo lady is the best kind of lady you can get.
Speaker: it it is. And I also, again, for men, if you want to impress a woman, know your big three, know your sun, your moon, and your rising sign. Talk women about that. They are going to be like,
Speaker: To get your rising sign, you have to know the exact time down to the minute that you were born. So guys, make sure you reach out to your parents if you don't know that your exact times. but You can also look up here and get your birth chart and your birth certificate.
Speaker: Yes, you definitely can. So guys, that is that's ah that's a little something to have in your back pocket. Talk about astrology or totally get a tarot reading and start like looking at what some of the cards are and throw that out on your next date or when you're talking to a woman that you meet.
Speaker: Yeah. If you start talking about Ace of Cups, we're in business. One of the other ridiculous things that somebody wrote was how Americanized women make the worst sexual partners, wives, mothers, because we want too much.
Speaker: Do you okay and you want to read this? Okay. it's i can't I'm not going to read the whole thing because it was so bloated and insane. um But he's saying, by childhood, half of them are diagnosed and on meds. By adulthood, the other half are overweight, overbearing, and uncaring. They're not raised to be supportive and submissive partners to a head of household. They're raised to be spoiled, self-centered, and insubordinate spending machines chasing consumerism and social media attention. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. ah
Speaker: That's me, baby!
Speaker: Proud. I know. Proud American woman. um Okay, let's move into the group chat and let's talk about some of these. We had, I think, some really good shares this weekend but this week between each other. i follow this woman. Her name is Maureen's Mindset. And she gives a lot of dating and relationship advice to women. And she was talking about how when it comes to starting a connection with a man, and we've had a lot of conversations and debates about this, that women, when they want to attract the best kind of men, they need to open the door. So that whether that is-
Speaker: Not actually. No. So whether that is smiling at someone, making eye contact with someone, getting a man's attention so that he feels safe to actually start a conversation. You know, there's the the old adage of the woman like dropping the handkerchief. and then And then the man can pick it up. Oh, you dropped something.
Speaker: Anything that is that is an opener. and And she was saying that if there is a man who's just coming up to women without any invitation like that, chances are he's the type of man who is coming up to a lot of women. And it's just, he's more of like the player, the pickup artist type guy. Someone who is not as thoughtful and intentional about the people that he he tries to initiate connection and with. it But ah for a lot of really good guys... who do feel a bit afraid and insecure to go up to someone, wait until someone makes eye contact with you if you are really anxious about it. and So what do you think about that?
Speaker: I've tried to do this so many times in my life. And i there's even, i mean, unfortunately, this person has a mustache, so it's not for going to go very far. But there is this person under 40 in my town who I keep seeing places. And in my celibacy, I would just like, but you know, like give a smile, but I'm celibate. But like, you know, just kind of like...
Speaker: poke around little bit. No big deal. It's hard to ignore when there's somebody, a single person under 40 where I live. And I always see at my favorite coffee shop and I'd always be like, nothing.
Speaker: I think it's starting to kind of change a little bit, but like, like I understand the sentiment and what you're saying and I totally agree, but it's, What I think our work in this right now is introducing this as a reminder to guys that because as a woman, you can only do that if like the energy is reci like the light is on with the other person. Right. to For it to occur to them to do something about it.
Speaker: So I think that the more we can promote this message or this lesson as something that people can do, then like maybe their eyes- Women want men to come up to them and talk to them. I know. And men will, as we know in the comments, will debate us on this and think that it it is not true. But if a woman drops something on the ground and what they want you to pick it up, give it back to them and you know like start a conversation. Just catching eye contact, smiling, yeah whatever it is. It doesn't have to be much. You can feel, at least when you are in tune with energy, which again, this is something that anyone can work on and can become better at. You can feel when someone's energy is open and inviting versus when someone feels really closed off and you're like, no, I don't want to talk to anyone. A lot of it is understanding body language, but just be aware of your surroundings and keep your eyes up. People also are just always wearing headphones. They're always looking at their phones.
Speaker: like Try to be present where you are when you are out in the world and see your life to work. changes I look around when I'm on the train and everybody is on their phone and with headphones and everyone's down like this. And it's been so much of it just being like, hello. And is not how humans were designed to interact with each other. And I think why people are- No, it used to be so much more fun on the subway.
Speaker: People are so miserable and lonely right now because they think they're so connected through their phones to everything, but it actually just makes you so much more disconnected and lonely. So get off your phones. don't Don't always wear sunglasses.
Speaker: Like let your eyes be out there. Take off your headphones and just yeah see who you can connect with. You never know. You never know. Another thing that i you sent over that was really interesting this week was this woman talking about like the advice that she was given to learn about how other men are in the world by not moving out of a man's way on the sidewalk. Yeah.
Speaker: and she talks When she was on the right side of the sidewalk. When she did have the right of way and she should not have been yielding. Right. And she was like in her proper lane, which by the way, if we're going to, it's like driving. if you, you should be on in America, you should be on the right side of the sidewalk going this way.
Speaker: the right side of the sidewalk going that way and make room for for both lanes of traffic. And she talked about how this group of men, how there was a group of them and they she kept walking and made a conscious choice to stay in her lane and in her path and keep going. And the other, this group didn't make room for her.
Speaker: and They were taking up the entire sidewalk. They were taking up the entire sidewalk walking together. They saw her and no one moved. They just expected her to move, but she didn't. And she just kept going and ran right into them. And it is a ah micro act of feminism.
Speaker: Yeah. a micro To actually hold your ground in those situations. And we were talking about it afterwards, the fact that we have both been in those situations many times where Oh, yeah. Where was on, I was in the right lane on the sidewalk and there were guys and they just walked right into me. Yeah. And that has happened so many times and never once have they said, oh, I'm so sorry. Ever. They just either look at me like, or they just completely keep walking and ignore the whole situation. And I've been in situations where like, I have been hit so hard by these men. Me too.
Speaker: and It happens to me in the streets in New York all the time, actually. And I've had somebody like really hurt my shoulder before. just Yes, me too. It was just like, are you fucking kidding me, dude? Like what? I'm sorry, but how is that not assault?
Speaker: I know. And listen, you're not going to get their phone number and chase them down. but No, but it's something that I hope that our our audience can become ah more aware of. Don't ever... do that to a woman. if she's ah If she's in the right lane on the sidewalk, don't just slam into her because you don't want to move out of the way.
Speaker: It's just- or Or frankly, you don't see her. It's really fucked up. I don't know if it's not seeing her. I don't think that's what it is. It's not that I don't think they physically see us. They just don't see us as valuable enough to get out of the way and make room for us.
Speaker: Right. Right. Right. Which I think is a metaphor. What's happening on that sidewalk is a metaphor for what it's like to be a woman in this world. To be a woman. Like yeah are we are supposed to submit when it is convenient for them.
Speaker: But then when their egos are at risk, then it's supposed to be fifty fifty Right. My for you page right now is really serving me a lot of narcissism divorce algorithm stuff. I wonder why. and so um But the algorithm is reminding me of like how men are gold diggers. If you're a stay-at-home mom and you've raised their children for 10 years. Yeah.
Speaker: Like they're perfectly happy with you doing all of the labor at home. And then when they decide to leave you and get divorced, they want all the money and like don't want to actually split or give you any of the equity, but they want you to take half the debt. Like it was just...
Speaker: oh life dude Yeah. So that was, that was something really interesting. And then I also sent you something that was so funny. There are these two Australian guys. It's at Relatables and they have this podcast. Okay. These are two very masculine dudes. And they they talk a lot about topics that are really interesting and important to women. And then they also have a book club, a romantic book club. So that's how I originally- Oh, I love that. Do they like ACOTAR? They love ACOTAR. Okay, great. They love Throne of Glass. They love Crescent City, like all the Sarah J. Maas books. Oh my gosh. So that's how they came across my my algorithm. But they were talking about how women do everything bleeding-
Speaker: And if men had to have their periods and do everything bleeding, they would get a week off every month. All feminine or hygienic products would be free. There would be so much medical research into how to cure period pain. All the feelings of that you get while being on your period. Yes. Up until like 10 years ago or something, and I'm pulling the statistic right out of my bum, but like Like 90% of all medical trials have been tested on male bodies, not female.
Speaker: Yeah, it was the 90s. That was when the first time that medical trials started including women, which is which is really insane. And men don't, and and I get it, but they don't understand how women's lives change so much throughout the month. Every single week is a different experience. um And when you do have your period, it sucks. Yeah. you feel like shit and you're exhausted and and your body after day two I literally feel like everything has been drained out of me and I'm like a shell and it's because it feels like a little death because you have literally like shed an egg like an entire layer it feels like you have died and come back to life and then and then you're gonna spend the next three weeks coming back to life
Speaker: just do it again. And then you have to do it again every single month. It is a real issue that we have to deal with constantly. So I just, I hope guys have a little bit more empathy. And then I saw some other clips that these women were putting period cramp simulators on their boyfriends and husbands. Where can we buy these? Look on Amazon. And and they they get to control it so they can they can change the level of of the pain that these men are experiencing. it's It's all the way up to like like little discomfort up to the feelings when you have endometriosis. These men were crawling on the floor. and at the end of it, they were giving their women these huge hugs and being like, I am so sorry. I can't believe you have to deal with this all yeah the time.
Speaker: All the time. So I feel like that should be mandatory for men. I know. I really want to get one. For every man in my life. I know, right? My dad, my ex, my brother, any male friend I work with, any colleague.
Speaker: Anyone you date. Anyone I date. I think that's really important. So I've seen content online about women who say that their partners track their cycle so they know when they're about to get their period and they can go out and shop for them. They can be there for them, be more supportive. I'm like, that is a dream. I want a man. What a man. want a cycle. And again, that is not something that is very difficult to do. But if you, oh my God.
Speaker: If a man- don't sell my data to some healthcare company and we'll be Exactly. So please don't do that. Keep it to yourself. Keep it to yourself. But man, oh man, that that would be such a turn on. And it makes you feel like, okay, this is a person who genuinely cares about me, is thoughtful, is intentional, and wants to like be there for me when I'm not feeling my best.
Speaker: or and Or even just make their lives easier. So much easier. If you could know, like, ooh, this week's going to be a rough one. like if you Don't you always want to be more prepared when you go to work? If you know your boss is going to be in a bad mood or shitty week is coming your way, wouldn't we all do better? Give everyone the tools for success. But then on that note, like is that on us for not sharing the information?
Speaker: It's also dependent on how men are when you have your period. Some men are totally grossed out by it. They don't want to touch you. They don't want they don't want to have anything to do with you. They're like, I don't even want to see you when you have your period. Because they're like, I'm not getting anything out of it. Whereas other men get absolutely feral when you have your period. that's Okay. So let's talk about that other clip that I sent you about this.
Speaker: About the men who think that you go down on a woman when she her period, that like having like the blood on you. It's casting a spell. It's casting a spell. In like a positive way where you will fall madly in love with this woman. It is an interesting conversation to talk about.
Speaker: Some men are very open to having sex with a woman when she has her period, whereas other men are absolutely disgusted and want to to pretend that that never happens. And i think real men are not scared or intimidated by a woman having her period. Like, yes, it can be a little messy, but, you know, we both use those cups.
Speaker: And so that makes it a lot easier, a lot less messy. That's true. And also it feels better. There's like extra lubricant. Right. like It's true It's true. So I think real men are not afraid that. Just close your eyes, put down the towel.
Speaker: Yeah. Just, it's not a big deal. If that's something that disgusts you, then you're probably not very mature. Open your mind. Open your mind. Now, most women don't want to have sex on the first day of their period because you're just bloated and you feel like shit. ah but I don't know. I find that it kind of helps with cramps and just... me I was just about to say that, that like actually i think one of the best cures to like your worst day on your period is having sex because it's just like helps move things along, helps like...
Speaker: open your cervix up more, which I'm sure is a concept that many of our male listeners are like, what are you talking about? what's the What the fuck? but We can, yeah, maybe that's for another episode.
Speaker: On that note, I think we should move into dirty laundry.
Speaker: Oh, diana's Diana's watching machine dreams. My sexual fantasies. Your fantasies. Well, it's been a busy couple of weeks since I've come out of my celibacy. I went on date. So excited for you So proud of you. You have truly hit the ground running.
Speaker: Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. I went on a date with Backpocket. God, I'm going to be Backpocket. my My DM slipper listener, one of our roommates. We had a really good date. Then I didn't...
Speaker: really hear from him. And I felt like I had created all signals go of like being open to hearing about hearing from him. and I'm not, and like we talked about not having like games and stuff like that.
Speaker: I heard from him like two days later, maybe a little, we like DMs throughout the day. Okay. But at no point was there like a followup on the date or like trying to set a second date, which I found kind of surprising because I had, all I heard was like all systems go that I would like to see him again and make plans.
Speaker: Right. and then i went the next weekend, I went to a wedding and I met someone at the wedding and he was he's really wonderful and sweet and funny. and we had like great conversation all weekend. And I think also when you meet someone at someone's wedding, when you're both friends with the same person and we've both been friends with the same person for like 20 years, they're almost at an unfair advantage and compared to anybody else, because contextually,
Speaker: You just know each other without knowing each other. Your values are very similar. But I felt like that person was very clear that they were interested in me all weekend, opening doors for me, carrying my bags, making sure we sat next to each other, always making sure that I had whatever drink I wanted.
Speaker: and he's sober, too. So like and still, no matter what was in his interest, always making sure that like I was taken care of, which was really nice. Okay. And so I came back from that experience.
Speaker: i was like, that's like, that's what I'm looking for. And then I still didn't hear back from this guy that I'd gone on the really nice date with the weekend before for still a couple of days.
Speaker: And so- Well, and you were you were texting with him, but he wasn't asking you out on another day. That's what it was. So there was communication, but there was no forward momentum, no, okay, let's see each other again.
Speaker: Yeah. And- I'm a busy lady. I got a full-time job and I got a kid. like right you want to make plans with me, I usually do need kind of five days notice at least. So he asked me out on another date and I felt like we had a nice first date and he frankly lives near me and this person that I met at the wedding lives across lives across the country.
Speaker: So, and let's be like healthy and balanced and normal about all of this and not get like too caught up in things. And he'd asked me to go on a date that was near him. And I was so busy on the day that he had asked. I wasn't totally paying attention to the details of it And i was just kind of like, yeah, sure. Sounds great. like And the first date was also by him.
Speaker: Yes. And it was by him and we had talked about it. It was by him because he was a stranger. Like I don't want to meet near my house or in my town or my area. My area is not big enough like to even meet remotely nearby and I just thought, like this is a stranger, I'm going to go to him.
Speaker: I explained that to him and then he had thought that that's what I would want to do the second time too. But like actually, like I don't think that he's a psychopath and I would have been okay with at least meeting halfway, but like right near where he lives.
Speaker: And I was just moving so quickly and I just said it was fine and I was just so not in a place to think about how I would feel on Saturday from where I was on Wednesday or Thursday. And my daughter was home sick that day and stuff. And that day like really took it out of me. And I don't know- It was just a lot. You were not focused on yeah him. And you also were like more excited about someone else too. So then on the day, so this morning, and I woke up this morning and I really felt like super lethargic and exhausted. This is the first moment I've had to myself in like 10 days. First time I haven't had my kid, work, traveling, like it really catches up with you sometimes.
Speaker: So then this morning it was like I just don't want to- drive an hour and won't be in the car for two hours today on my saturday and the date that he suggested was not something that was really appealing you know i just am not a huge fan of organized fun same like don't i don't play a game never i never want to play a game But like I don't want to be – I also want to be like open to something new because I also don't want to be so stuck in my ways and like not into a game. And also I felt like though that it was very something that he wanted to do and that he liked. And again, it was on his turf and it was right by his house. There was nothing about it where he was like, I want to do something that is gonna that she's going enjoy.
Speaker: Yeah. That's how I kind of felt about it too. Yeah. And yeah so I asked – Like, do you want to come meet? Do you want to meet a little closer and meet halfway and do something else?
Speaker: And the reservation had a cancellation or something. And so he basically was like, I'm going to keep my reservation and we can reschedule to do something else at a different time. Which again is not great. It is well. No, that's, I think that's, that's a no. That's a no thanks. That's, he's showing you what he's prioritizing, like doing his work.
Speaker: weird man things with his friends. And... Over you. And not going out of his way to make it easy for you or to be thoughtful about something that you would actually enjoy. Yeah. I also, this goes back to something that you sent to me last week, which was when you meet somebody, they should treat meeting you like an um emergency. And I actually talked about that with the person from the wedding.
Speaker: And he said that the connotation of emergency sounded negative. he was like, it's not that it should feel like an emergency. It should just feel like the jackpot. And when you hit jackpot, like you're paying attention. Well, and the emergency is that if you don't act on this, you are going to regret it forever. and it's Right. And it's going to be the one that got away. You're always going to be like, what if?
Speaker: That's yeah the emergency. That's right. And I just wasn't getting emergency vibes. and No, he's – no. Like, this guy's not treating you like an emergency.
Speaker: I need to be in emergency. You are. Whereas this person that I met at the wedding I feel like is treating meeting me like an emergency. Well, and that's what you deserve and that's that's the that's the level of treatment that this time away from dating has made you see that you're not settling for anything less than that.
Speaker: And if nothing ever happened, if it doesn't work out because of distance or whatever, I'm actually experienced what it feels like to be treated like an emergency by someone who's not toxic.
Speaker: I've been treated like an emergency by talk a toxic person before. and that's love bombing. And that's love bombing. That's not real. And then this doesn't feel that way and just feels like light and easy.
Speaker: And just to have that feeling and know that you can have that feeling with somebody, especially after swearing off dating apps and living in the middle of nowhere, makes me feel like pretty optimistic about life.
Speaker: Let's talk about your plans for seeing this gentleman who lives across the country. Well, as it happens, I'm going to l a for my friend's 40th birthday wedding weekend. I'm doing a speech, which very excited about. And so I'm going to see him.
Speaker: and we talked about me like sleeping over, but I also had a very honest conversation with him. Thank you, Malka, for this advice. But so when I told Malka about my weekend, one of the the first three questions you asked me was, did you have sex with him?
Speaker: And I didn't. Because bravo, bravo, bravo. Celibacy has taught me that I can have self-control and that I can wait and that I only really want to be having sex with somebody who I know values me in the way that I need to be valued and treated and prioritized.
Speaker: That said, I was thinking that I would probably have sex with him when I saw him in LA because it would have been five week or a month of talking. And you're staying with him.
Speaker: And I'm staying with him. But Malka brought up a very, very good point. Oh, you mean this amazing woman that he met happens to be visiting and staying in the exact part of town that he lives in and he can just take you to dinner and have sex with you on his turf, on his time? his bed.
Speaker: in his bad easiest What? In his bed. In his bed with his dog around and like everything like in his zone. Like that sounds pretty easy. What a lucky guy.
Speaker: and that's when I realized can't be having sex with him then either. No, because, and again, this is not about playing games. This is not about being like, okay, you have to wait a specific amount of time, whatever it is.
Speaker: My point was you should wait until he makes the effort to come and fly out to you to spend time with you again to show that not only is he like investing his his time and his resources into coming out to you, but that you are important enough to him that he wants to take it seriously of, hey, we could potentially build something. You said there is a potential for him. He doesn't have to live where he does. If if he wanted to relocate somewhere, he could do that. So
Speaker: If there's an opportunity for you guys to build that relationship, that's why you would want to sleep with him. Otherwise, there's no there's no reason to do that. And by him getting on a plane and coming to you, not because he has a wedding or he's got to be there for work, but because he wants to come and see you, that shows that this is someone who is worth breaking your celibacy over.
Speaker: Totally. And I broke the news. i was like, I just want him to level set on your expectation that will set your expectations on this one. And he was quiet for a second.
Speaker: And then he was like, okay, that makes sense. like i respect like i totally respect that. And he was like, so just let me get this straight though. If I were flying to you to visit you that weekend instead of you coming to me, would you be comfortable like sleeping with me? And I said...
Speaker: Yes, absolutely. Probably, yeah. Yeah. And he said, okay, so so it's a little bit of a double standard on that end. It's like, well. No. Yeah. Well, no. it I mean, it is in that. But it's not a double standard. because It's not a double standard. Because you are not going out there just for him.
Speaker: You are going to be out there. So it's it's not a double standard. That's right. That's apples to oranges. Right. You're right. So, yeah. So um we're still talking. He doesn't seem to be bothered by it, which is a green flag.
Speaker: Well, and again, that is that is more data for you. Because i told you, I was like, if he's going to respond and he's going to be pouty about that, then this is not your guy. But if he is curious and is respectful and wants to understand more about where you're coming from and is not going to pressure you to sleep with him when you are sleeping in his bed, then that's a good guy.
Speaker: Yeah. And that was also his response it in me talking about was like, I just want to like levels you know level set and stuff. And he said, well, this is also good data for you. How I react to this is going to give you information on whether you should still talk to me or invest time in me. And I hope that like you're gathering good information.
Speaker: That is a self-aware man. I know. i like this. I like this a lot. Well, it sounds like you have an embarrassment of riches when it comes to these men.
Speaker: Just keep putting those lessons into practice that you learned in your time away from dating. And I think you're going to be really happy with the results. And clearly you're already attracting good guys.
Speaker: I know. At a higher vibrancy, if that's vibration, than before because I'm not operating in a place of lack. No, your frequency has changed and so you attract different men.
Speaker: Yep. I love that. Okay. do you want to do tea time? Yes. Let's move into a little tea time. So I had a really great session with my therapist. I, for my birthday, gave myself a reading with a tarot card reader as well and got some really great messages that came out of that. And one of them was talking about how there are still some things that I'm holding onto from the ages of seven to 10 years old that are getting in the way of me being able to fully step into my purpose. And I told my therapist about that. And one of the reasons why I love my therapist is because she's also magical and very open and has she has sent me to different like mediums. like we're we're on the same We're on the same vibe. But she said, you know what, Molly?
Speaker: i think what we should do before you leave Vegas is do an ART session and clear out whatever that is and leave it in Vegas. Okay, so for those of you who are not- What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, baby.
Speaker: Yes, and that's what I want more than anything. Okay, so what ART is, it is Accelerated Resolution Therapy. It's like EMDR. If anyone is familiar with that, where you use like hand movements to change memories, let go of trauma. It's helpful with PTSD, whatever. So ART is kind of the next iteration of EMDR. And my therapist, she's certified in it. And I've done ART sessions with her in the past from other stuff from my childhood, from actually younger. and it was unbelievably helpful. And so we're going to be doing a session in a couple of weeks for- great
Speaker: for this and And again, I'm so happy that I was able to have that tarot session and connect with that message and then take that into my actual therapy and be able to heal and integrate and do all of that stuff. So that that is something that I'm really looking forward to, to like you said. Yeah.
Speaker: to leave in Vegas because I don't want to bring that to Miami. How many sessions do you have to do? The last time it only took one. it's It's between like typically like one and three sessions to do that. And basically what you do is you go through and you become almost a director and you can change the memories that you had.
Speaker: Interesting. Is it through hypnosis? It's not exactly. It's like using hand movements to to move your eyes. And when your eyes move in a specific way, it has the ability to kind of override and release trauma, which is crazy.
Speaker: Wow. Yes. I'm really excited about that. I'm so excited for you Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That's going to be a good one. So I'll and' i'll report back and let everyone know how it goes.
Speaker: Yeah. And I think it's just going to help you feel really good about your time in Vegas. Not like you don't, but like really kind of like close the door on your way out. Yes. And even though we're working on things that happened long before I moved to Vegas, a lot of what I've experienced here ah remnants and echoes of that time in my life. So I think it'll be it'll be really beneficial. So i can't I can't wait for that. And then my tea time is that I've just upgraded all my skin products to salmon sperm.
Speaker: And now i now I'm using all MediQ products. The eye patches, the sticks, the face masks. How do you feel? Do you feel like sperm on your face constantly is is helping you?
Speaker: Yeah. Okay. And I love salmon. And you love sperm. And I love sperm. So lucky me. and so then, molly i know you have one other tea time rec that you want to share with everybody? Yeah. So I'm on a lymphatic drainage journey right now.
Speaker: And one thing that I found is this little gadget here. oh this small gadget? This little gadget here. It's so small. And you you turn it on and then there's there's two different controls. There's the heat and then there's the vibration and you put it over you can like put it all over your body you can use it on your arms you can use it on like and your different lymph nodes like your armpits your um your hips your belly under your knees and and you just you just rub it all over your body i use like body oil with it
Speaker: I have noticed a difference. It's good for cellulite. It's good for um for bloating, all the things. but And I do it every night before I go to sleep.
Speaker: And it's such a nice way to end my day before I get into bed. Does it kind feel like a massage? Yeah, it is. And these are this was like 30 bucks on Amazon. We'll link this, but- We have to link that. I think I might need to get that for myself. You should. You should. And men out there, if you want to please your ladies, be like, hey, would you like me to give you a lymphatic drainage massage? And again, she'll be naked. You can rub oil all over her and she'll be getting lymphatic drainage. Everyone wins.
Speaker: Everyone wins. You're so funny. I have this little tool-
Speaker: This is a little tool. That is a little tool. This is is, it's not tiny. It's not huge. but No, but it like from here, it's got like spikes on it and it's the size of your head.
Speaker: Yeah. So funny. What's on the next episode? Next episode, we're going to be interviewing my new lover from LA who I'm holding off in sex with when visiting and seeing how he feels about that.
Speaker: Yeah. It's and honest answer. I can't wait. And I also want to talk to him about the apples the apples to apples versus apples to oranges. like it's not You're not having two different standards here. No, you're right. You're absolutely right and I'm going to reiterate that to him.
Speaker: Yeah, we need we need to talk to him about that. yeah Okay, should we should we sage
Speaker: Okay, dee what are you staging this week? what are you I'm staging and making space for the men who treat us like an emergency. and So clearing out the ones who don't make everything easy for them and wifes do everything that they want to do and not have any interest or curiosity on what makes you happy or what's easy for you. i think that's a good thing to clear out. I'm clearing out.
Speaker: I'm clearing out anyone who is bitchy or judgmental about women who love tarot or sage or astrology or anything woo woo because it just means that you're threatened.
Speaker: And i I don't want an insecure man. I want a man who knows his rising sign. i want a man who understands that the death card is not a bad thing.
Speaker: It's actually a great thing. And also, would just like to say, anyone who's that scared of women doing tarot and being woo-woo actually believes in woo-woo the most. Because they're like, they believe that we are witches. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: So and they should be afraid. They should be afraid. Exactly. Exactly. And if you're really afraid, make sure you don't go down on us when we have our periods. Unless you're gay man. was your gay And it's not to have any effect whatsoever.
Speaker: I love that. Well, this was ah another another great episode. Everyone remember, make sure you like, rate, subscribe, give us five stars on Apple and Spotify. We're at Long Distance Roomies Podcast.
Speaker: And email us, send us your DMs, do all that stuff. But we will. We will. See you. See you. In the mailroom. Mailroom. Bye. ah bye Bye. Love you.
