Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to Long Distance Roommies.
Speaker: Hi, Malka. Hang on. I've got to open the door. yeah. Oh, yeah. yeah. yeah
Speaker: Hi, Malka. Hey, Dee. Welcome back. Welcome. Welcome back to another episode of Long Distance Roomies. Here we go. here we go. Do you think it's appropriate to tell the audience or the other roommates why I call you Malka?
Speaker: Sure. i think it's very appropriate because people are like, what does that mean? It's literally all I call you. Malkita. Yeah, little Malkita. Exactly. Exactly. It is – so Malka is my Hebrew name and it means queen.
Speaker: So it's very fitting. and It was something that – it was like – It was like the sweetie name that your ex-husband used to call you. win And that's when I started, I would hear it what because we used to hang out and do double dates with how our former husbands. Crazy, right? And that's how I learned. I know.
Speaker: And that's how I learned about Malka. And now, like, I literally only call you Malka. It's my name. i love my My whole family calls me Malka. So it's it wasn't just it wasn't just my ah my ex-husband, but you weren't around my family. No. That's the only way that you heard about it. Totally.
Speaker: Yes, that is that is my nickname. Anyone who really wants to... make me smile, call me Malka. And and obviously d is for Diana. So that one is not nearly as difficult to deduce. You and Will Ferrell, call me D. There you go. Great minds think alike. That's exactly right.
Speaker: But yes, audience, again, thank you so much for joining us. Make sure that you like rate, subscribe, share, ah follow us on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, Instagram at longdistanceroomiespodcast. And then we would love to hear from you. DM us us on Instagram or send us an email at longdistance.roomiespod at gmail.com.
Speaker: And we we have something pretty exciting to share. You want to you want to talk about that, Dee? We got our first like Rumi fan email, the Gmail account. And...
Speaker: Malka called me and was like, D, check your email. And we had an email from a woman named Sue. And su Sue- we We love you, Sue.
Speaker: We love Sue. i also have to say, side note, I am really appreciating that we're hearing from both a male and female audience. You know, last episode we had Jack writing a question.
Speaker: Yeah. And now we have an email from Sue. And Sue basically told us this story- about her unsolicited dick pic that she got at work from, was it her boss or at least somebody that she reports to?
Speaker: no it was someone who she worked with. It was ah it was a colleague. and this man was bragging to anyone who would listen about his 10 inch dick, which obviously we know is quite a rarity.
Speaker: and And so finally, he sends Sue a picture of his 10 inch dick. And for those listening, I'm using quotations.
Speaker: And unsolicited. She did not ask for it. She wasn't like, I love hearing about this 10-inch dick. I'd really love to see it. No. No. He just sent it to her one day. It's so mind-blowing to me. So this quote-unquote 10-inch dick is actually, i think five is generous.
Speaker: It was like ah maybe a little bit above five. Fully erect. And of course, sue was so generous and shared the dick pic that this gentleman sent her. And it was literally his erect penis next to a ruler. And it was from, you know, the the but the base of the balls up to the top was about five and a half inches.
Speaker: Yeah. Like, why did he want to give up the joke? Like, why did he... This is what I don't understand. like It makes no sense. Why would you actually basically send a picture saying, I know I'm telling everyone at the office that I have a 10-inch dick, but between you and me, it's really five and a half.
Speaker: Like. what and And he sent it to her. He sent it to her with like question mark. and then And then 15 minutes later, he is really regretful. And by then, Sue had shared it with the people in the office, had sent it to all her girlfriends. Go Sue!
Speaker: go so That's the thing. And she was she was saying, if you are that brash and that bold to send an unsolicited dick pic, especially one where it is clearly evident by the proof that you are showing with a ruler that it is not 10 inches, then, you know, it's- She had no choice.
Speaker: She had no choice. And we we are not here condoning revenge porn and putting out something publicly. But if someone sends an unsolicited dick pic, don't think that it is just going to stay with that person. this is for women as well who are sending nudes. I mean, women know about this all the time.
Speaker: and Don't think that just because you're sending him, think that the pictures that you are sending out into the ether are just going to stay with that person you are sending them to. That is why I actually have a no nudes policy.
Speaker: No one has any nude pictures of me, not even my ex-husband. No one. There are no nude pictures of me out on the iCloud. Nowhere. Okay, our pods diverge.
Speaker: No judgment. It's just for me, I do not want someone to have access to that after we are no longer together. It's just, to me, i guess it's selfish, whatever. I'm not interested in in sharing that. You can have your memories, but I'm not going to allow you to have a picture to add to your spank bank when we're no longer communicating. Okay.
Speaker: I was in a long distance relationship for a little while and I think that becomes inevitable. But in the words of Dorinda Medley, write it, regret it, say it, forget it.
Speaker: Or like say it, forget it, write it, forget write it, regret it. And that's why i think do a nude FaceTime. And yes, someone can do a screen recording and there's all there's there's obviously those that that can happen. But for the most part, if you want to have you know sexy time with someone long distance, do it live and don't send them something that they can keep.
Speaker: I know. And then when my boyfriend and I broke up, one of the first things I said was like, you can't send those pictures. And he was so insulted that I would presume he would do something like that. But Why wouldn't I?
Speaker: You're covering your ass. That's good. I don't know. Who knows? Who knows? Yeah, exactly. it Shivers. Let's not talk about the nightmare. But back to Sue. Sue, we love you. Thank you for sharing that story. One more reminder to our audience, especially the men out there, do not send unsolicited dick pics. It will blow up in your face. And this guy ended up being so embarrassed that he quit.
Speaker: And then... Well, that's because you're forgetting the part yeah where she and her co-workers would like hold things like mugs and be like, is this five inches? Yeah.
Speaker: this is five inches i think this is 10 inches wasn't he out in like less than a month yeah and then she told and then she told her boss about it and and the boss is like served him right and everyone had a laugh about him so no there's literally no upside to sending unsolicited dick pics especially to a co-worker what the fuck that is so dumb so dumb Really, really dumb. But but yes, but Sue found us on YouTube.
Speaker: And everyone, make sure you are you're going to our YouTube. a lot of people find us on Instagram through our clips. You get to see the whole uncensored episode on YouTube and we would love to see you there. So please come join us on YouTube at Long Distance Roomies Podcast.
Speaker: Like Sue. She binged us, she said. She binged. I love you, Sue. We love you. so sue you are you are a resident with us in longest journeys. We love you.
Speaker: Okay. So now let's move on to the group chat where we talk about like kind of like the little things we want to share with each other throughout the week are like pebbling things. love share moments do you want to talk about your very exciting yes this is this is very exciting news okay again we filmed these episodes ahead of time yesterday we got the word that the new akatar book is being released right i got the word you got the word as i say you got the word i got the word not receiving the word because i don't read these books but i know it's a big deal
Speaker: it is It is a big deal. Court of Thorns and Roses. This is the the sixth book. The sixth and seventh books are coming out this fall and this winter. And they finally released the covers and the titles. So it was really, really exciting.
Speaker: i love romantic-y books. I am obsessed with reading. It is one of my favorite hobbies. And Diana, I know you are not a fantasy person at all, which surprises me because you are so magical and you are a witch and you do believe in fantastic things that are beyond what we can see and explain. So i i do hope at some point that you accept my influence and just listen. Just listen to the audio book, the dramatized audio book of A Court of Thorns and Roses and and thank me later. But this is also a really great PSA for the men in our audience. If you want to blow women's minds.
Speaker: Read these books. Listen to these books. Talk to women about them. If you are on a dating app, which we do not recommend, but if you are, write something about ACOTAR in one of your prompts on Hinge. I cannot tell you how money how many people will like you, will want to talk to you. It is such a great conversation starter. It will it will turn so many women on.
Speaker: So just an expert tip. I would swipe. In a second. way and it doesn't No, no, no. I would swipe. oh no i say You would swipe no. You would be like, would swipe now get the fuck out of here. Yeah, be like, what are you even talking about?
Speaker: I just, don't know. I'll accept your influence, I suppose, and after some of these other books I'm reading, i will listen. But I just, don't know. I never got into Harry Potter. I only read the first one.
Speaker: not into Lord Rings. watched Lord of the Rings. I never watched Lord the Rings. I'm just like... But if you... Here's the thing. If you liked Game of Thrones... I didn't. If... I'm thinking guys out there. I'm thinking guys out there. If you liked Game of Thrones, give... Give a Court of Thorns and Roses a shot.
Speaker: Because Game of Thrones is basically a romanticy anyways. It's just because- With a lot of violence. Yes, but there's so much violence in in this as well. There's a lot of violence. So much sex. It's great. But then there's also like people who have wings and magical creatures and all sorts of things and like fairies and all, you know, but just- Is there fairy sex?
Speaker: So much. So much. So one of the one of the nicknames for romanticity as a genre is fairy smut. And that is exactly what it is. Okay, because was to Because this is basically a subcategory of smut. But it's really not because it's fantasy.
Speaker: And there's all this world building. And there's really great relationships. and um And political intrigue and family dynamics and all that stuff. So it's it's not just smut. It's not just romance. Right.
Speaker: It's my fave. I love it. Love it. Well, something that I've been very into and really trying to get you to accept, excuse me, my influence on. Sorry, I've been having a little tummy stuff today.
Speaker: But I'm having bubble water too to try and just like settle my tummy. all good. We're here for you. If you need to take a little, if you need to take a little pause, we're all good.
Speaker: Yeah. Sorry. But Married at First Sight, it's on Peacock. And listen, I, nothing is below my, it's like too low for me in terms of television.
Speaker: And I believe that Real Housewives is like the most, the biggest study, anthropological study on the modern woman and feminism. So just to like give level set where I am categorically on reality television.
Speaker: But I will say i I've never watched Married at First Sight before. Apparently the show has been going on for years and there's 19 children that have been conceived out of Married at First Sight, which is kind of crazy.
Speaker: But I'm not in, it takes a little to get going. I've thought the first couple of episodes were meh. Then the day that I was cleaning out my whole closets and reorganize everything, I had it kind of playing all day. And alk what these people learn about each other and how they communicate about their needs and relationships, it's so interesting because on on each side of the bell curve of like hard yes and hard no, it's one on each side.
Speaker: i think there's like eight couples. Everybody else... kind of like the rest of the world, is sort of in the middle. And a lot of the things that they are talking about and debating on are things that they discovered about each other the moment they met down the aisle.
Speaker: They're the same things that they're struggling with the first day. And I think that that is such... And then also, like, there's... It's interesting the couples who are having conflict in the beginning, like couldn't get on the same page and then like make breakthroughs in their therapy and then are like totally on a new level and communicating so much better. It is a really just like interesting study about relationships and what actually works for marriage and people being honest about where they're at and what they will accept and what they won't and being able to see people in real time.
Speaker: like accepting something that is beneath them or like lying to themselves or to the person about what they want. And it's so obvious to see on camera, but they are so blinded in it together and can't see. It's like, it's pretty mind blowing.
Speaker: So I have accepted your influence. If you look on your Peacock account, there is now. I saw. There's Malks and I'm Portia from Real Housewives of Atlanta. That's my. Oh, you added a profile, like an added profile.
Speaker: Yes. Oh my gosh. Amazing. Yes. So I have accepted your influence. I started the first episode and let's just let our audience know exactly what the concept of the show is. Basically the, these people sign up to put their lives in these matchmakers hands. And for me as a literal professional matchmaker, that is my job. It is pretty fascinating, but they amazing.
Speaker: They are interviewed and studied by these matchmakers and then they are set up to be married. And the first time that they actually meet their spouse is on their wedding day when they are walking down Walking down the aisle.
Speaker: And, okay, again, I'm only in the first episode. So I i need to i need to keep watching, which which I definitely will. but it – First of all, something I would never even consider doing. i think it's batshit and totally insane to- 100%.
Speaker: to not have any say who you're marrying, even though that is something that has been going on for thousands and thousands of years. But it is really interesting to see that there there are a lot of success stories there. And I think if you are actually surrendering to an expert and you let them know what you need, what you want, and you are willing to accept their support and their therapy and their guidance – then yeah, it's probably a pretty similar success rate to when you let people make all those choices without having that support and without having that expert. So I mean, it's interesting. So I think our audience, would you guys be willing to put your marriage in someone else's hands?
Speaker: I would. You know, I will say for myself at this point, if my dad were sitting here, he'd be like, Diana, Maybe you should. Maybe you didn't do so well those other times.
Speaker: But your dad also has a great piece of advice that I always think about. Boys are like buses. A new one comes every 15 minutes.
Speaker: So right why not just hang out at the bus stop? Experience some new boys. Totally. I think he would say that over, yes, you should have a percent some stranger. now he looks you he's like, are you really going to get married again? I I know. He's like, I don't know.
Speaker: Who knows? I don't know. Okay. so So speaking of men out there and the dating world, there was another post that I sent you that was so fascinating by this woman named Tosca. Tosca. And she is a divorced single mother.
Speaker: and i think it's Transform with Tosca. Tosca. And she is she just has a lot of wisdom. And she wrote this post about simps.
Speaker: And how – Okay. okay Let me pull up the the picture of it. um simp is a term toxic men use to shame good men because they expose everything they're not secure, respectful, and emotionally mature.
Speaker: And I loved this so much. And for for our audience who don't know what a simp is, it's basically a man who is considered overly submissive to women.
Speaker: it's and it's just used in a derogatory term. But what Tosca is saying is that, no, a simp is basically something that incel culture created because they do not know how to make women happy. and to them, a man who is respectful and who listens to women and who wants to make a woman happy is automatically a bad thing because they are not capable of doing that. And so they are just they would just rather cut themselves off from going after women and just sit in their basements and brood and just – I think she's it's totally right, by the way. I think she nails it. I think that's exactly what it is.
Speaker: i think like it's only framed within the self-loathing of what – incel culture really is. And it's, and I feel like I'm learning more about incel culture in our podcast because the comments that are government the comments that we get from people.
Speaker: like yes i suppose Yeah, I was really surprised at how aggravated people got about the idea of coming up to women in the wild. But some of the,
Speaker: Like, listen, you don't have to if you don't want to. Just stay on the apps. Who cares? But like to to come after women, to come after us so negatively and it was just like, yeah, it was really shocking. And I also just don't understand, like, if you don't like what we're serving,
Speaker: eat at the other restaurant. There's a million other restaurants. But it's so fun to bitch and moan behind a screen and try and make a woman feel bad about herself. Especially when through that post where we were saying women do want men to approach them in the wild. Yeah. Men are so triggered because they are so afraid of rejection. and That's what it is And they have been conditioned to think that if they go up to a woman, they're going to be creepy.
Speaker: But if you if you listen to um our previous episode, I think it was episode six, where we talk about this, as long as you're being respectful then and you're aware of how she's responding to how you are speaking to her,
Speaker: Women want you to approach them. And a lot of the men in the comments were talking about how, you know, this is putting feminine back feminism back decades and and women should be approaching men. And again, i know these are the men who are like, simps are terrible, but they want to be the princesses who are being pursued because they're so afraid of rejection. They cannot look in the mirror. They just have no self-awareness. Yeah. Men, go for it. Who cares if you're rejected? It doesn't matter. it means literally not- Women are rejected all the time. Yes.
Speaker: And frankly, attacked without even putting ourselves out there. So if we can handle it, you can too. And I think also something that I wanted to touch on with the simp terminology, you know I'm a big fan of the word cunt and pussy.
Speaker: And that, and what I'm always correct. In a positive way. In a positive way. I never use the word cunt or pussy in a derogatory way. I say wank, which is a English term and I'm English, but it is an English term for a limp dick and A limp dick is completely useless.
Speaker: No one can do anything with a limp dick. Nothing. However, a pussy or a cunt, to use a derogatory term as weak, pussies and cunts birth children and then restore back to their normal size. They're most powerful creative force in the universe. Yeah.
Speaker: We birth life. And so having so using pussy in a derogatory way is the same thing as using simp as a derogatory way. It comes from the self-loathing of not being able to get there yourself.
Speaker: And men also, they live life, they work hard, they make money, they do everything to get access to a pussy. That's their be all end it.
Speaker: That's their purpose in life. Come on. It's like, so one of, something that I feel like is honestly one of my personal vocations in this lifetime is to change the nomenclature or like the... The connotation. The connotation in the culture around...
Speaker: Pussy and cunt. And please, if you are interested in seeing my short award-winning short film, see you next Tuesday. It is available online.
Speaker: I was an extra in one scene, but it was amazing. That was so incredible. Yes, Diana is an award-winning director, so everyone should watch her club.
Speaker: And writer. writer. She's just... um So I think that's probably a good idea to transition into some dirty laundry. What do you think? oh yeah. You know this is my favorite sound.
Speaker: Yeah, it Yeah, is. Okay, so so what's what is your dirty laundry for the week? Well, this week I got my first like slip into the DMs situation.
Speaker: i think this person had started to follow me and like message me and I kind of wasn't aware. Like because we had – with one of our clips, we had got like an influx of followers and I just – About fingers and butts and finance guys. Yeah.
Speaker: That's why I sort of ignored everybody. We had whole lot of finance guys who immediately were like, oh, we need to watch your shit. Yeah, and some follows. And so he was like kind of like a responding or commenting on some of my story posts and I didn't really notice.
Speaker: And then one one day i got a photo of a hawk on like as the logo of on top of coffee.
Speaker: And it was just like a picture of his coffee with a hawk on it. And it said, like, if you know, you know. And it made me laugh out loud. And it was really like a subtle kind of.
Speaker: Because you were doing all that work with Will Ferrell for his show, The Hawk. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And actually the logos were pretty similar. um And so I just thought that that was like smart and funny and paying attention. And so I ended up actually responding to the person and we talked a little bit, but it was the first time that I've, not the first time, but I haven't been approached in my celibacy that much because I live in the middle of nowhere and I've been inside working and doing this. So this was kind of one of the first moments of feeling like I have to address my celibacy. And he'd asked, essentially like asked me out.
Speaker: and And he was really cute. Yeah. Like very handsome guy. i know. Who lived not too far from you. No, like, and goes into the city for work like me, like, like,
Speaker: a re a very reasonable consideration and i but i said i'm gonna celebrate until september thank you but like no thank you right now and his response was actually awesome he's like yeah i'm actually really busy too so like no worries like what and i felt like there was a lot to learn in that if he like flipped out or like thought it was lame or weird Bye. Bye.
Speaker: But he was actually really cool about it. So. You got him in your back pocket. I got him in your back pocket. yeah Okay. now he, I don't know exactly how old he was, but he definitely looked a little bit younger.
Speaker: i know. I'm trying to do math. What did you think about dating someone who is younger than you? Well, my tarot card reader said that I will be dating somebody who is very is younger than me. so But that aside, um I'm actually quite open to it And something that I find interesting is, i'm and what's awesome about our age bracket is we can date younger and older. like It's all for the taking, which is really nice.
Speaker: But I think I'm fine. i'm For the first time, I'm like old enough where I would actually want to date somebody younger and it wouldn't feel like they were in a completely different stage of life than me.
Speaker: Unless obviously they were like 25 and that is very much different stage of life than me.
Speaker: I'm not really interested in dating anyone older. i don't want to take care of anybody. Well, it's like, how much older are you saying? Like you would date someone who's a few years older than you. Yeah. but I would date somebody a few years older than me. I don't think I would date anybody older than 45. Okay. I used to say 50 and then pulling it back.
Speaker: And I've dated people who are 50. fifty Yeah. i I actually love being this age. So I'm about to turn 42. I'm a couple or a few years older than you, Diana.
Speaker: And i have – I went on a date recently with someone who was 29. The guy i was who I was dating earlier this summer was 34.
Speaker: the i think the youngest I've dated since I've been around this age is 27. And then the oldest I've was fifty six Now- who You dated someone who was 56? Okay. i I went on a couple of dates with someone who was 56. Now, this guy, I did not know who- and I didn't know his age. I'd met him in person.
Speaker: I was doing a real estate deal with him when I was in commercial real estate. Oh, that's right. And he was a developer. and That's right. he And he asked me out. And I didn't really know how old he was. He had a he had a younger vibe, but he ended up being- far more immature than most guys my age.
Speaker: I am, I'm open. I really think age is a number. And because for me, I have zero interest in having kids, but I'm totally down to date someone who has kids. Yeah. I am, I'm open. It really is just about the person. i think for me, I would like to stay around within 10 years. So,
Speaker: you know I think 32 is a little young, a little young for me, but maybe they're an old soul. and But 52 can work. And especially if I'm, you know, I'm moving to Miami in a couple But so why is it that 52 10 years up sounds something that can work better than 32, which 10 years down Maturity level.
Speaker: And that's, you know, like I said, this 56-year-old was not mature. But for the most part, as men get older, they do become more mature. And they mature at a slower pace than most women do.
Speaker: Hopefully, by the time they're that age, they are a bit more mature. They're also much more established and stable. And I'm looking for someone who is abundant and stable and has his shit figured out and yeah isn't just starting his road of personal development and growth and healing and self-awareness and self-actualization. I want someone who is already well on that path and and he's much more likely to be older than not.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah, I think probably 32, 33 range, you're in the exception to the rule. yes But I'm always a fan of the exception to the rule.
Speaker: Sure. You know, we don't discriminate here. And I think it's so it's so much about is there chemistry? Is there that attraction? Is there that spark? And you can have that attraction and that spark with a lot of people. And now, especially because I am open to dating someone who's shorter or my height, there's a lot more options for me.
Speaker: So everyone. Yeah. And then I would also say from my perspective, – i have a kid and she's awesome. And so I'm sort of like, and I wanted to have kids. So I've like crossed it off the list.
Speaker: I could have more if I wanted to somebody, if I wanted to but also if I didn't want to, or it didn't feel like something like it's not a leading thing that I'm like in a rush that I need.
Speaker: and don't feel that pressure that I need to find someone to go have the experience of having children because I have my kid more is more.
Speaker: So yeah, it feels like low pressure. That's ah lucky. Oh, for sure. we're know we're in a We're in a great space, but i yeah. you know If this guy is around and interested and available when you end that celibacy journey, then I think you should go for it and see. Who knows?
Speaker: Well, as you know, I do have a very busy September socially. I have weddings to go to. have my friends, boyfriends, fiance. I don't want to talk about it because it's surprise party, but I've got lots of stuff. So for me, – i'm remaining celibate until September 1st.
Speaker: And then I am opening the door. And I am not planning on doing really any dating at all until I move in the middle of October. What's the Yeah, you're a summer of love. What's the point? Like you got, yeah, I'm totally with you.
Speaker: If someone wants to take me out for a great date, take me out for a fun dinner, fun night out of the town. You're not sadist. I'm totally open to that. Guys, in Vegas, I'm here, um only for a limited time.
Speaker: But the most part, don't care. And I'm just so excited for this next chapter, just like you are so excited for this next chapter that's starting in the fall. yeah So we're just – we're doing our thing. We're putting all of our energy into ourselves, into our work, into creating this amazing podcast. And yeah, we don't we don't need guys to distract us right now. And if someone doesn't respect that, it's very clear that we do not have any time for them anyways. 100%. So the other night, Molly and I were talking on the phone, as we normally do. Talking.
Speaker: And it was one of the moments where we were like, oh, we need to talk about this later in the pod. But you had asked me... When did you start being bold and brave?
Speaker: And we were talking about it actually in reference to my daughter who is so bold and brave. Like I i don't ever remember being like that when she I was that little. Like I put her down any situation.
Speaker: And she never looks back. You put her down. She walks into any situation and literally never looks back to see if I'm there or is crying. Like she's just – out and doesn't think twice and has no reservation. And i i like that now, but I wasn't like that when I was young.
Speaker: And i can't... And I said to you, I think the moment that I started to be that way was when I went abroad in high school because I've suddenly dropped in with a bunch of kids and just had to like figure it out.
Speaker: But then when I think about who I was in high school, I was not the most outgoing one in the group by any means. I kind of was like, I feel like the more serious one. Maybe my friends would disagree, although I doubt it. What about you?
Speaker: i i had a very similar experience to you. and And I know we were talking about it. We've known each other for over a decade now. And you were surprised when I told you I was not always bold and brave.
Speaker: I was very reserved when I was growing up. You know, I was the youngest of three and had kind of a loud family. Everyone in my family is an extrovert. I'm much more introverted. and we too. and And I grew up and lived in the same house my entire childhood. And so I was around the same people and I was put into this this like slot of this is who Molly is.
Speaker: and then I went off to college and I feel like I totally came out of my shell and became so much more confident, much more comfortable being in the spotlight, much more comfortable expressing myself openly, communicating openly. and then when I studied abroad, when I was a junior in college, that's when I think I fully came out of my shell, being dropped in the, you know, in Europe, not having any friends and just building this life and going on adventures and not being afraid. That I think really shifted who I am and and how I show up in the world. And then when I was in my marriage, I met my ex-husband a couple months after I came back from studying abroad. And when I was in that relationship, I had to dim my light a lot to make him comfortable because he was a very controlling, very insecure person.
Speaker: And was with him for almost two decades. And so in this time, since I... have separated and divorced him. Crazy. have been able to not only come back into my own and be more confident and let my light shine and be more bold, but I also have been able to kind do a lot of the healing that I think I didn't do when I was younger. just shifted and changed, but I didn't really get to the core of why I was as quiet and reserved and insecure. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: So I am grateful for this time because I feel like I am a much stronger, more confident, more authentic and aligned version of myself. And I know you are the exact same way.
Speaker: and it's so satisfying to be able to go through this journey together and to have such similar path. I know. and And hopefully this is inspirational to our audience as well, knowing that even if you are going through a season of not feeling as confident, not feeling as bold, not feeling brave to do what you need to do know that that does not have to be permanent, even if you've been telling yourself that that's who you are.
Speaker: Yeah. and i think about, honestly, like I was doing improv as a really young kid. And it was so weird to think about how fearless I was about being in front of people with literally nothing planned and often being the youngest person in the room, doing it, doing it professionally as the youngest person in the room.
Speaker: And then I would just go about my day. But socially, i was just not as super awkward. like I don't feel like I... like took up a lot of the energy in the room. So i think, and I, I kind of think my daughter's like that too, but I think basically what I was going to say is like, it's nuanced. Like in some facets you can be super outgoing and then some more reserved and,
Speaker: But the ideal is to be surrounded by people who allow all of those elements to be- And don't judge you if you are leaning one way one day and leaning the other way the next day. Totally. It just makes you feel comfortable because we are dynamic and we shift. And especially as women, I wish more men understood how much women change throughout the month. how much our energy levels change, how much our attitudes change, how much our confidence change, how much our libido changes, just because like where we are in our cycle. And I feel like men don't ever really take that into account.
Speaker: No, it's impossible for them to wrap their mind around. Why would they? No, they have no idea. They have no idea. Okay. So let's now, let's always, men having no idea is always a good note to end on.
Speaker: Do you want to go into the teaser drop and see into the room? Okay, so next episode, we are beyond excited. Sue, I hope you're listening because we are interviewing your former colleague who sent you that not so impressive dick pic.
Speaker: This should be- Non-consensual dick pic. We found him. We found him. We are going to grill him. And he's ready to show his face. He is ready to show his face.
Speaker: You do not want to miss that. Yeah. All right. And now let's sage the Prefer Real Room together. love the sound. Good for you.
Speaker: Everyone who's saging, please be careful. we don't want to have any fire hazards, hence why I am using my sage spray that smells so good. Whoa.
Speaker: But Dee, as you are lighting your stage and being very careful and mindful not to set your bed on fire, what are you clearing out right now from your life, from your room, from your energy to make space for new?
Speaker: I think clearing out the cultural norms that no longer serve us from the comments from our, from people on our Instagram to just even the reflections of expectations of the kind of people that we should be dating.
Speaker: We love bald men. We love short men. We love you know good men. Yeah. that's that is what That is what matters. and And I think I totally appreciate that. And i think those cultural norms hold a lot of us back unknowingly. We don't realize how we are playing by someone else's rules, even if they don't actually apply to us.
Speaker: and And yeah, I'm i'm hopeful that – You and your new chapter starting in September, me and my new chapter starting in October are going to only be playing by our rules. And obviously we are respectful to other people and we're kind to other people, but we do not need to live in someone else's idea of what's right. I don't give a fuck about what's right.
Speaker: Me neither. i think that's a good note to end on. Love you, babe. I love you, Dee. Thanks everyone for joining us. Again, like, rate, subscribe, share, send us DMs and emails. Give us five stars and we will see you in the mail room. One day we'll get that.
Speaker: we won't. Or we won't. Bye, everyone. Bye.
