Transcript
Speaker: To slut shame you like that? I'm sorry. I cannot believe he said that to you. I know. And he's a slut. Welcome to Long Distance Roomies.
Speaker: Hi Malka. What's up, D? Welcome back. Thanks. You too. I'm loving the red that you're sporting today. Unplanned. I know we are twins, but great minds think alike. So I'm not surprised.
Speaker: I know. They do. and we like to record our episodes a little bit in advance so this is eight eight that we're recording this, the Lionsgate Portal. So we're I think we're both feeling the the fiery energy. So get ready. This is going to be a...
Speaker: fiery episode. I guess that's also a good reminder. If you're liking what you're hearing and you're feeling fiery too, don't forget to like rate, subscribe, share, follow us on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, the comments, all of it.
Speaker: really is helpful to us. And I know people get asked to do this all the time, but once you're actually doing it, you realize how much it means. so
Speaker: It really, it really, really does. So yeah. So follow us everywhere at long distance roomies podcast. And please, if you love us, which we know you do rate us five stars, because that really helps other people discover us. And we want to keep doing this because we're having so much fun. So help us help us by rating and getting the word out and sharing with all your favorite people.
Speaker: And also, if you do have any questions for us that you would love our help answering, please email us at longdistance .roomiespod at gmail .com or DM us on Instagram. We are here to serve. Like our dear friend, I believe.
Speaker: From last episode, was his name James? Yeah, I believe that was James. I think we did help James out a bit. yeah i i think it's probably time to get into a little bit of Housekeeping.
Speaker: I woke up last Sunday morning and I just started cleaning out. all of my closets and reorganizing them which Feels so good. It feels so good.
Speaker: And it's oftentimes, and if there's anybody here, that's a... little kid like so many of these toys that they have and you need these like tiny little screwdrivers to open it up to put it in the batteries to make it work i could never find the batteries i could never find the little screwdriver I was always like. I felt like I was buying batteries on Amazon to make sure that I had them because I couldn't bother finding them.
Speaker: And now I just like. know where everything is. So it's actually making me feel like a better parent because I can actually like
Speaker: quite easily solve the problem that she needs fixed i know where the things are money you don't have to keep buying things that you already have that was the thing that was also driving me crazy was i was like i feel like i'm buying shit i already have because i can't find it, it will literally improve your sleep, your overall wellbeing. Highly recommend. I think it also really helps you think clearly yeah when, when my space is cluttered, I feel like my mind is cluttered, but I'm moving in a couple of months across the country. So this is a time for me to get rid of a bunch of stuff and go through what I have. And one thing that I haven't talked to you about that I'm actually really excited is.
Speaker: My dad is going to fly out to Las Vegas, and then we are going to drive back to Chicago together and go on a little cross -country adventure. Oh, my God, I love that. I know. I can't wait. and And if you are a longtime listener, viewer of Long Distance Roomies, you know my father, the amateur ufologist, is really just one of the most amazing. He's the best. He's maybe my father. favorite human on the planet. And so to he loves his Princess Malka. He does. He loves me. And he he's just so sweet and wants to help all the time and is my biggest cheerleader. You know, he's almost 80 years old. to So to be able to have this adventure with him is something that I know I'm going to. Yeah, I'm going to cherish it forever. Exactly. All right, let's move into our group chat. I sent you this clip earlier this week. If my friend hates you, I hate you in law. And I think there's a lot to discuss here.
Speaker: there There really is. And both of us have been through experiences where people have not treated us. well or right well listen we both got divorced and when i'm sorry when you get divorced it is a calling of your social circle.
Speaker: And there is no two ways about it. No. like No, there's there's not. and
Speaker: And. you would think that certain people would always be there for you regardless but sometimes when you get divorced or when you go through a major breakup or like you become a death of a spouse i think this happens too Like for widows? Yes. Or, you know, for me, I lost my brother. I felt like some people just couldn't hang and couldn't handle that and didn't want to engage with me when I was going through mourning. There are there are lots of reasons why someone becomes undesirable. But if you really care about someone and they they get an enemy, someone treats them like shit or with no respect, you can't just...
Speaker: Be like, oh, they didn't treat me that way. So I'm going to be cool with them. To me, that's not okay. I know. And I struggle with it sometimes. So I'm in a really small. town where the median age is 66 .7. So to have to have an entire social group of people in my peer group. to excommunicate me and alienate me. It's difficult to not...
Speaker: i to not have friends who aren't still friendly with those people. And I spend maybe too much time, but I have to, so I spend a certain amount of time with certain friends having to kind of rise above some of that. because By the way, I just want you to know.
Speaker: as a friend to anybody else. Like if my friend hates you, I hate you in law. That is how I roll. But that is not necessarily how. Everybody rules. Yeah. And when you have.
Speaker: When you live in a town in this small and you have kids who are all friends with each other in the school district and stuff, you actually can't expect that from all of them because like, especially when your kids are like, my kid is really young, but some of my friend's kids are older and they're.
Speaker: friends are best friends with the kids of some of these people i understand not letting social stuff of your friend's friend impact your child's friendship group. One has nothing to do with the other. And I i don't think we're saying don't be.
Speaker: cordial that's that's not it at all if there are certain social situations where you need to engage with someone that is very different than being like i want to be friends with them or don't ask me to be in the middle i want to be neutral i think oh no no no you can't do that You cannot do that. It's impossible. And that's what we're talking about.
Speaker: And that's actually why I lost an entire friend circle in some regard I say like they all excommunicated me and stuff and well That's... partly That's only partly true in the sense that what also happened is that I decided that anyone.
Speaker: who is good friends with these people or is trying to be friends with both in that way is just not someone I can have in my life. i Because... They're not loyal. And loyalty and trust. And I'm kind of mafiosa about that kind of stuff.
Speaker: But life is short and yeah we only have so much bandwidth. We only have so much energy that we can give and into our relationships. Why would you want to invest in people? who you can't trust and who are not loyal to you. I just I don't understand that Well, and I think also what this ends up talking about a little bit is. actually what how you define a friend i think i used to say that like i was friend
Speaker: like everyone was a friend, but actually no, it's more like, oh, that person's an acquaintance. That person is in my child's friend circle. parents but it really comes down to it. I think it's an Aristotle quote, but... A friend to all is a friend to none.
Speaker: Right. and And I remember specifically with one of the friends, one of the... Excuse me. I call them the enemies. But I specifically remember one of the enemies. You know what? We can be honest here. That's what this space is for. They are the enemies.
Speaker: And you know what? I bet. I bet they will watch this episode. I bet they will. name Hi, guys. Ha ha! Bye. You're all my enemies. Fuck you. That's the kind of friend I am.
Speaker: totally stab stab stab stab stab but i remember one of them trying to be friends with the both of us and trying to talk to me about what was going on. And I had said that. Aristotle quote. like a friend to all is a friend to none. And she was like, yeah, I've been thinking a lot about that.
Speaker: And I don't want to be that person. and what i basically took from that i was like oh okay so then this is the last time More to our friends. Yeah your going to go be friends with the other person and we are not friends.
Speaker: And as a result, if you've made such... a precise decision. to at least not be cordial with me. but to like really go out of your way to exclude me and to exclude my daughter. That's the thing that I like really. where I can't remember. We've had some conversations about this. I'm not even sure if it's actually.
Speaker: been recorded on a podcast episode yet or not or but like in my divorce it was hard enough to like lose my home my husband my relationship my stability all of it But when those people and all of my friends, but when they.
Speaker: took the friends away from my daughter. when she was losing all of that stuff and then had no friends and had to make new friends too to me that was just so unforgivable.
Speaker: Which is why now that they want to be nice to me because it's now they're starting to go to our school or whatever. Now that there's a purpose or value that by being friends with us will bring to them again. I will continue to not allow my daughter to have play dates at their house because what I also have to teach Alice at the same time is like I have to teach her how to choose friends.
Speaker: And. We're not. We can be acquaintances with people who are transactional, but we don't actually have deep friendships where we trust each other and rely on each other with transactional people.
Speaker: And that's a whole other level of education and like child rearing that is petty. Well, and for for you to be instilling those lessons into your six -year -old, that's just...
Speaker: shows that she is going to be such a strong, confident, boundaried person who has high standards. So I hope so. Because it's good better to learn now than unlearn it.
Speaker: Like yeah that's what I'm trying to actually trying to instill this stuff now so that she doesn't have to do at 30 years old be like, wow, I had no boundaries for the first half of my life and I have to redo all of my friends because of it. Right. I got to say I.
Speaker: I went through something similar when I got divorced. My ex -husband though was the one who was really setting it all off and sabotaging a bunch of relationships. I'm grateful to him that he did that because now I know. certain people that I just cannot trust and do not want.
Speaker: anywhere near me. And some of them do a favor. He did. And some of them have tried to crawl back. And I've sent you the text messages of of people that yeah that have reached out to me and they...
Speaker: They want to have a relationship like nothing happened. And that is not something that I am willing to do. If you are going to disrespect me and kick me while I'm down, I'm not going to allow you to pretend that that didn't happen. why And we're elephants. We're not goldfish. Right. i'm I'm not going to forget that. And I forgive for myself because I don't want to hold on to anger and resentment because it... just manifests in a lot of really terrible ways. I know that you are not someone that I want to let in again. You are not coming. anywhere near me yeah so i hope our audience feels the same treat people with respect and if you fuck up
Speaker: apologize and try to make amends don't just be like Okay, time has passed. I guess it's fine again, because that's not gonna work. No, and that's the other, like... if Any single one of these people called me and apologized, there's a conversation to be had, but literally not a single person has. No. So there's nothing.
Speaker: To talk? And hatred, where we started this, you know, if my friend hates you, I hate you in law. Yeah. Hatred is something that can be moved past. It really can. It can be, but like, because what I did have were husbands.
Speaker: who tried to make amends with me. when their wives weren't around and like. public service announcement. Don't fall for it. that is a trap do not fall for that because all you will be perceived as is the woman who therefore wants to fuck their husbands. And let's be honest.
Speaker: None of us want to fuck their fat husbands in their boat shoes. No. No. No, thanks. Okay. Do we want to get into our next one? So I sent you this.
Speaker: this video that you disagreed with and i completely agreed with so i think this is a really interesting topic for for our audience to weigh in on as well and it was this guy i just want to say i didn't completely disagree i just disagree with the first part of it The first part of it, yeah.
Speaker: Yes. Okay, so this guy, Alex Greener. i guess he's a dating coach or something um he said that It's a man's job to set the tone in a relationship.
Speaker: And that. a woman. feeds off of his energy his consistency his intentions his presence and he by doing that he creates a space where women can feel safe and soft in their feminine energy but if he's leading with confusion or mixed signals then she becomes a lot more guarded and The version.
Speaker: of the woman. that a man meets. is shaped by the environment that he creates. From the very first date. That's what this clip was all about. And I know Diana didn't agree with that. It's a man's job. to set the tone in a relationship. So, okay, tell me tell me what it is about that that you don't agree with. I think the woman sets the tone. I think if the man...
Speaker: is leading and the woman is following. then you're always setting the tone as the woman that you are following. and i get I understand on principle, like they, no, I don't. Like, I feel like women.
Speaker: You... Teach someone how to treat you. You set the tone of how you should be treated. And so therefore you set the tone for the relationship. And. by you setting that tone is how they know how to communicate with you.
Speaker: and whether you'll put up with it or not. But I think... To say that the man sets the tone takes the... Power away from the woman and ultimately as a woman I think you should always be in the power position in the relationship because society otherwise frames women so much in the place of not being in power.
Speaker: And it's wild. Thank you. You agree with me on this, but it's like. why I don't think women should ever stop working to some extent when they're. married and with kids because you don't want to end up one day completely out of the workforce.
Speaker: fur. 10 years and you're. husband wants a divorce and you have to like start like you should just always maintain some sort of power or and your own autonomy i think we're talking about two completely different things this clip was about how a man i i genuinely like disagree with you. I think women should not be pursuing.
Speaker: i think No, I don't think women should be pursuing either. but that's But that's what this is about. When a man starts to pursue you, he needs to show you. what he is capable of, what he is interested in, what his intentions are.
Speaker: It is not my job as a woman to teach you how to behave. No, no, no, no, no, no. You are going to behave how you are going to behave. I am not going to show you that you need to be consistent, that you need to be respectful, that you need to plan the dates, that you need to pursue me.
Speaker: I am here to receive. I am here. If you want to spend time with me, you are going to reach out to me and do that.
Speaker: I am not going to call you and plan dates. I am not going to say like, this is this is what I need. You are going to either do it or you're not. And I'm either going to spend time with you or I'm not. And that's that's what this video, that's what this was all about. like But are you also saying that you aren't going to take the time either to...
Speaker: show somebody like if you because I guess that's also the part where I've I do think you get to a certain age and experience relationships where you're like it's such a tough thing to thread and a line to figure out of like how much effort you're going to put into showing somebody what you need or teaching them what to do versus like expecting that they're already there.
Speaker: So are you saying that you're in a place right now? where you're not really interested in teaching somebody anymore. You just expect that they're going to get it. And then if that's the case, what is the upside or the downside of like the grace that you give people in the pursuit of understanding you?
Speaker: I'm saying that if he is not consistent if he is giving me mixed signals that is all I need to know. And I'm not going to be. investing any more time in him and i'm not going to be thinking about him again but
Speaker: If he is making an effort and he is curious and he wants to know and specifically asks me what makes you happy, then... Again, he is leading. with that conversation. And he is being curious and showing interest and wanting to make me happy and trying to figure out how to do that.
Speaker: But I am not just going to go and say, this is what I need. You're not doing this right. Blah, blah, blah. I am not going to be leading in that way yeah because. That is a waste of my time and energy. And that is not a man. That is a boy. I get that. Yeah. I think there's obviously it's not black and white, but this video is talking about at the beginning of a relationship. I, you know, it's like, if you're not. It's actually not even, sorry. it's not even
Speaker: actually the beginning of a relationship. It's just like the beginning of the beginning. The beginning of ah of a connection and getting to know someone. But I think it's also when you're building a relationship and then sustaining a relationship, I still think a man is there to... to do and to pursue and to always keep that going. And I don't want to be in my masculine energy all the time.
Speaker: telling men, you need to do this, showing men, you need to do this. like that That is not what I am looking for. That is not the kind of man that I want to attract and I want to be with. I think this is a good moment to go into our dirty laundry and share what happened this week.
Speaker: So ridiculous. so Because I think this is kind of... Similar. A little bit. or Yeah. We're continuing the conversation. so I am No longer dating my short king. It was fun while it lasted. Until you decided it wasn't going to last. It was fun until the last conversation. What was that? What were you doing? This was me going peace out, but also like.
Speaker: I don't know This was my peace out. And then also being like, no. Once open, not anymore. yeah At first, he was really consistent.
Speaker: and was calling me and texting me every day and making plans and i told him from the start I have... I have two rules for dates. one I need to be fed.
Speaker: I just need food always and we don't have to go out to dinner but like I just always need to have food whether it is a meal or a snack. I get hangry sometimes and I just need, I need to eat. You're a foodie.
Speaker: I love it. It's your love language. It hit is. like Dinner dates are my love language. And then I also do not do last minute plans. If you want to spend time with me, you need to ask me ahead of time. If you have lots of dates planned with me in the future.
Speaker: Then if there is something last minute and be like, hey, I just got home. ah Like, do you want to come over or do you want to grab dinner last minute? I would be open to that. But that's only if there are other future dates that are planned. So he stopped.
Speaker: Being consistent. He stopped making future plans and started doing more last minute stuff with me. I was like, okay. So then someone else asked me out and he asked me out.
Speaker: ahead of time, wanted to take me to a really fabulous place. This new members only club at the Wynn called Zero Bond. There's one in New York. It was really cool, like beautiful spot, just a fun night out. And so I said, yes. And then the dentist, he's a dentist, by the way. we're we're we're We're letting it, we're letting it loose. He he he was a dentist. He he calls me.
Speaker: last minute and he's like hey you want to come over and I was like No. I'm busy. And he said, well, I keep asking you to to hang out and you just keep saying no. and I said, well, cause you're not asking me ahead of time. And I reiterated everything, which I had told him multiple times and he got upset. And, and then finally, finally he's like, okay, well, what about tomorrow night? I said, well.
Speaker: I already have plans. I'm going on a date. And he. Freaks. Out. He gets so... Can we just... Asterix. That. throughout all of this time that you guys have been going on dates.
Speaker: He's also been asking you for advice about dates with other people. I don't care that he's dating other people. He's not my guy. I'm moving. like We want different things. He's not the type of person who I want to end up with long term. He was very open with that. I'm not jealous. So I was giving him dating advice. I'm a matchmaker. I'm a dating coach. like This is my expertise. And so you know I had no issues with that. And I told him, yeah, I have another date. And he goes, well.
Speaker: I don't want to see you anymore. Now you're tainted. Tainted. He said I was tainted. And then he goes, yeah, what are you going to do? Give him head on the first date? And I was like, you know how I operate. And he's like, well, okay, well, yeah, I guess. I guess that's not how you work. I told him, I was like, okay, so you're okay. dating lots of other people and I'm not supposed to. You basically want to be like a polygamist. He's like,
Speaker: Well, I'm looking for someone for a serious relationship. I want to have a baby with someone. You're moving to Miami. Already established information. He knew that about you. And now he's turning it against you. Wow. I know. Wait, to slut shame you like that? I'm sorry. I cannot believe he said that to you.
Speaker: I know. And he's a slut. Sorry. He just is like - What are you apologizing for? oh Well, I'm not a calling him a name. Well, because it's it's true. hes An accurate name that represents who he is. Yeah, he's a playboy for sure. And I had no issues with that because I wasn't trying to date him. But then he's like...
Speaker: What? You can't spend any time by yourself. You have to go out on a date when he's not asking me out. And it's like, just. hitting me up last minute i was so turned off way the flip the switch flipped so quickly.
Speaker: I know. I know. And he had talked to me about how one of the things that wow he prides himself on and that he wants moving forward is.
Speaker: if if there's ever someone he dates and it doesn't end up working out long term. He wants to be able to have a friendship. And that's what I thought we were building. I thought we were friends. Yeah, but I knew men. This goes back to Nora Ephron. When she talks in, she wrote When Harry Met Sally. Which is my favorite comedy of all time. The theory of can women men and men ever really be friends friends? And the truth is, is like. When you're a really attractive woman, it's tough. Yeah. and And I have to think like there are men that I'm friends with. But I know that they all would have sex with me if they got the chance. I think that that's true. Where it does not go both ways.
Speaker: No, but that man, after putting all that time into you with your celibacy, was never going to just be able to be your friend. And he certainly isn't talking to you like a friend. No, he's not. wow So I basically said, okay, well, I guess that's that. And he's like, yeah, goodbye. Good luck in Florida.
Speaker: And then that was that. And we hung up the phone. I will say when you told me you're going out on the date with the other guy, I was like, does, does short King know about this? it'll be fine like he talks to me about other women it'll be fine it's like i had a feeling right You were right.
Speaker: There's no way a man. who's putting the kind of time that he was putting into you, is that cool about you just also going on dates with other people? Because men still see women as possessions. He's a hypocrite.
Speaker: And he's clearly insecure and jealous. And not as evolved as he wants you to think he is. Right. No, he's he's definitely not. So I... I wish him all the best and I hope that.
Speaker: This is a... good learning experience for him. I am grateful for my time that I spent with him. I learned a lot. I had fun. I got some free dental work out of it. I did. I had a little summer romance and I was able to put a lot of my wisdom and knowledge to to use and into action that I learned during my time away from dating. and I feel like it was it was great. So i'm I'm happy. I had fun, but...
Speaker: i I pity the woman who ends up with him, seriously. like For reals. That's my dirty laundry. it was ah Extra dirty this week. All right, so. Well, so. Okay. On that note. Let's go into some tea time. some Therapy.
Speaker: And since it's in the middle of the day and it's 90 degrees, I'm not drinking tea. but my water same it's You know what? It's only 103 right here right now, which is... Crazy. Low. Practically. Brr.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: So I've been having... very vivid dream. I always have really vivid dreams about people in my life. and And like kind of like symbolic conversations. We've talked about this before, but one of my great aunts or great great aunts was one of the biggest fortune tellers in. Montreal and would like the prime minister would sit with her and stuff. And so I have a little bit of like. Like you're a psychic. It's in your blood.
Speaker: It's in my blood. And it comes out in my dreams. and or and my dreams are like very vivid and symbolic so the other day or I've So I've been having recurring now.
Speaker: Nightmares. about. My. ex -boyfriend. And. In fact, to the point where I wrote on my sub stack, like a little. thread chat you wrote a note um I wrote a note that's what they're called.
Speaker: saying there has to be a psychological term for when An ex stops. When you stop dreaming about an ex, but actually they start being. serving symbolically as a nightmare.
Speaker: And I have very... much transitioned from like dreaming and missing this person from like And by the way, that hasn't been very recent at all. But like I used to dream about this person in a longing way. And now every time they appear in my dreams, they it is a. nightmare.
Speaker: A literal nightmare. and not You told me about some of these dreams. they I had a dream. that
Speaker: This is really raunchy. And I'm Like earmuffs to anyone who. This is a very raunchy nightmare. It's funny, the one once you start saying it out loud, it starts to get easier to say out loud, but I don't know if this one will ever start to get easier to say out loud.
Speaker: This is a wild one. but in In this particular nightmare, he forced me. to give... Perform Felicio.
Speaker: where his penis was covered in poop and toilet paper.
Speaker: disgusting it's disgusting and it's disgusting so vivid to me just like the feeling of toilet paper in my mouth And again, this did not happen in real life. This was - No, no, no, no. This was a dream. We're just confirming this did not actually occur. Correct. Gosh, this really is a mix between dirty laundry and therapy. And and our tea time. But really. It's dirty therapy.
Speaker: it is dirty yes it was it it was horrifying and what's so and what we were going to talk about in is like So. Then I got a like on the sub stack. No.
Speaker: And it was from... what I can presume is him. Because it was the first name and the first initial of his last name. But he has such like a private profile that I can't go back to the profile to see if it's him, which also makes it impossible to block him. And I have blocked him on literally every everything. everything.
Speaker: And he has still has this incessant need to make his presence known in my life, which is also why I think I keep still having like nightmares about him because I can't. I try so much to cut the. cord and like energetically cut this person out. But he's also still trying to get in.
Speaker: Yes. And that's the part, these nightmares that are like in all of the nightmares. easy. like... forcing so himself. on to me or mutilating my body in permanent ways and like the other one was like tattooing me without my consent basically like huge tattoos on my leg that said things like, everyone likes you.
Speaker: And stuff like that, which feels like very like taunting and negative and like kind of like slut shaming and creepy. And so I started going into Claudette about it. And.
Speaker: FYI to our audience, that is... Claude, but yeah, we call her Claudette. We can do a side note clip on this, but just FYI, the robots that we boss around, Alexa and Siri are women. And then the ones that we get all the information from our AI bots have a male gender to them. And so that we're seeking.
Speaker: all of our information and those who know everything are male -centered. characters or robots so now i'm just it's just simply not how the world truthfully works women are the know -alls so i've changed claude's name to claudette feel free to adapt So Claudette, because I asked her why... what this figure and transition means and dreams. and
Speaker: It's actually, it's not because I still think about the person in a longing way. It's because the person is in. The person is a negative symbol because I've evolved so far past the relationship. That my subconscious thinks about them in a negative way and like a reminder of the learnings and the person that I no longer am.
Speaker: So while I hate the nightmares, I do feel... Like, it doesn't feel confusing. Like, am i do I still like this person? Do I still love this person? It's like it's very clear. You want nothing to do with him.
Speaker: I want nothing to do with that person And he's not welcome. No. And that person represents bad things that I don't want to engage in. And so I guess that's like.
Speaker: a good breakthrough to have. It's a great breakthrough to have. Yeah. well Because, I mean, you were. we were stuck on him for a while so to have that shift it's really powerful Wondering when like I would i feel no longer of like Would I ever.
Speaker: be able to move on in my life from this. terrible like Get their claws out of me. And now we're up. They're out. now he's like trying to, in my dreams, put his Poop dick in my mouth.
Speaker: po all over it Just say no to poop decks. That's... the If he gives you the chance. He gives you the chance. But no, it's great that you're not.
Speaker: feeling like you want to have anything to do with this person anymore because He's bad news. We both know that I spoke to him once. Yeah, no no no. He's a bad one. did When you talked to him on the phone, did you know he was bad news? When I talked to him on the phone.
Speaker: I was reading him the riot act. Because he had already been behaving very badly. Yeah. I was fighting for my best friend. Because he's an enemy in law.
Speaker: He was, he was, he was not treating you the way that you deserve to be treated. And so I made sure that he knew that and that he knew that I knew that and that.
Speaker: If he didn't treat you right. I was going to be in your ear telling him to, or telling you to kick him to the curb. Which I was and you did. Seriously. Survived that one. Barely. You did survive that one. Skin of my teeth. Fuck.
Speaker: Thank God. Thank God. And now and now it's making space for for more, for new. Okay, so I want to... I want to talk a little bit about one of my favorite. self -care things and that is I have my Himalayan salt lamp.
Speaker: o I have these all over my house. I love this thing. I have one too in Alice's room. They're the best. You know, they're supposed to clear out negative energy, kind of like our saging, but they're also just great light.
Speaker: It is the nicest, it is like the nicest vibe, especially when the lights are out. My therapist, my, my amazing therapist, she has one. She always has one on in her office. Like it's just.
Speaker: It's good energy. And. One of the things I've noticed about men is that they're not so gifted at decorating, especially when it comes to their bedrooms.
Speaker: and they don't They really don't understand mood lighting at all. It's either no light or some horrible overhead light. that you know might have a dimmer switch but probably doesn't but it's just like awful lighting So every guy that I've dated for more than a month.
Speaker: They end up getting... an Amazon package in the mail of a Himalayan salt lamb. They just - I love that, Molly. They, they, it's honestly, it's for my benefit. more than anything so that their room has a much better vibe. But you know, they get something out of it as well. So I ordered one.
Speaker: for the dentist. and went And he put it in his room and he's like, yeah, well. You know, this will be here when I'm like. having sex with other women. And I said to him, Yeah.
Speaker: And you'll be thinking about me the whole time, every time you look at it. And I feel like I realized, because I think there might be... three guys now who have these Himalayan salt lamps in their room. It's like I'm marking my territory with a Himalayan salt lamp. I love that.
Speaker: So... If you guys ever receive a salt lamp from me beware ah I love that. okay Okay, well, next episode we interview one of our ex -boyfriends who watches every one of our stories.
Speaker: Which feels very on theme with the salt lamp. They go from salt lamp to stories. It does. I mean, I have noticed men who I dated for a couple of weeks a few years ago, my high school ex -boyfriend who I didn't even realize I was friends with on Facebook, you know, just random people watching my stories. So yeah, we've got, we've got a...
Speaker: A hot, spicy interview next week. You guys definitely don't want to miss that. Love that. Okay. So um let's for the sage moment. What do you want to be clearing out? So I think, you know, I've got.
Speaker: Got my... sage spray. And I have my Himalayan salt lamp. And... Oh, wait, you know what I have, which I don't know if I've ever shown you, but now that we're talking about the Himalayan salt lamp. I have a Himalayan ah salt bowl that I...
Speaker: hold all my crystals in and my sage that sits at the side of my bed. It's like a mortal and pestle. 4. I have one on the other side of my room. It's a bowl that looks just like that. And then it has Himalayan salt balls in it that you can use as massagers.
Speaker: Ooh! yeah yeah yeah it's It's nice. So everyone get a Himalayan salt lamp, bowl, mortar, pestle, whatever you want. there. They're really the vibe and the light that they. but that they give off is so beautiful.
Speaker: um i am When? I was going to say maybe we should link some of these stuff. these things. Yeah, maybe we should. That's a good idea. We'll link it. We'll link it for you guys. So you can, um, so you can check it out. I am clearing out, you know, we're both clearing out a lot of physical stuff from our living space and.
Speaker: I'm clearing out relationships. You're clearing out relationships. And we're making space. for new things, new people, new experiences, new opportunities opportunities to come in. We weren't new we know. we're We're on the same page.
Speaker: And... And I think a lot of us feel like we have to hold on for dear life to what we have. But that really is a scarcity mindset. And the more abundant you are.
Speaker: the more you trust. that by letting go of things that don't work for you or aren't aligned, you are going to invite things. that are aligned into your life. It reminds me, we've talked about this before, but one of the last things that one of my my former best friend and now number one enemy said to me when I was dating my now ex -boyfriend.
Speaker: She was like, hold on tight. like You don't want to lose him. And I think about it all the time because. You don't want to lose him? Like, hold on tight.
Speaker: And I don't think in any, and it's just such a reflection of Carter. like internalized misogyny and like value of being. defined by being picked by a man. And the fact that you know her husband probably isn't that in into her anyways.
Speaker: Right. They never have sex. But that that is so just not. Like. If you're gripped on holding tight onto your relationship, And you can't be loose.
Speaker: And like let it flow. Good. fucking luck. Yeah, it's it's not great. Yeah. wells And it's going to be, you're going to be stressed all the time and miserable and always waiting for the shoe to drop.
Speaker: What kind of relationship is that? Not one I want to be in. No. Absolutely not. Alright, well, I love you, Malka. This was great. I love you, Diana. This really was a special episode. So everyone, thanks for for watching, for listening. Make sure you like, rate, five stars, subscribe, share with all of your friends, send us your questions. and We will.
Speaker: See you. In the mailroom. In the mailroom. Bye everyone. Bye.
