EP. 67 The Dark Knight (2008)

Transcript

Speaker: That a shtick like that, dude! Have you seen my dick? been looking for it.

Speaker: Sir, I'm gonna rub one out right here on your counter.

Speaker: We cut to Mike, who delivers meat on his bicycle.

Speaker: I'm rinsing your girl out, bud.

Speaker: That's how identify the Doteca e-drunk.

Speaker: a

Speaker: Hello, my name is Nick and I have shaft hair.

Speaker: Scrubbing the pot, which is what I call when I jerk myself off.

Speaker: We're just joking. Everything's jokes.

Speaker: Two girls, one cup? No. Two guys, one screen? Yes.

Speaker: Hello and welcome to another episode of what we like to call here The Vault. Two guys, one screen, ah aka the hemorrhoid homies, aka the Poe Town Boys.

Speaker: Officially, you've reclaimed your status as a Poe Town Boy but by time this comes out. um back. Who knows? I'm Batman. Um... i My name is Nick. I'm joined by the edgelord himself, Gert.

Speaker: Gert or Gerald? Maybe Gert. Call me whatever you want. little sunshine. That's fine. I will. ah And today, ah we are reviewing is, mean...

Speaker: two thousand eight the dark night which is i mean ah agree If you haven't seen this movie. What are you doing? Are you under a rock?

Speaker: um We were thinking of movie we wanted to review for like milestone moments. Like our 50th episode, our one year mark, our 100th episode, etc. So this could come out at any of those dates, but I'm pretty sure we know it's going to happen already.

Speaker: Yeah, we have a little... surprise uh for the fans we're recording this on monday march 10th we'll see when it comes out 2020 2025 in case doesn't come this year but i'm pretty sure it probably will it probably will yeah um we like to use the banked episodes as like uh all this record this week yeah we like safety net the bank episodes as a spank bank but You could do that too. i mean

Speaker: Also, i mean according to today's date, the Vault episodes get good views. Black Swan did very well. Poughkeepsie Tapes did very well. That's kind of wild. ah Y'all don't really give a fuck.

Speaker: About the new releases, apparently. Y'all want to hear the old shit. So, here we are. um Yeah, we'll do. Plug it in, plug it in. So follow us on Instagram, twoguysonescreenpod.

Speaker: Send any comments, concerns, movie requests to twoguysonescreenpod at gmail.com. Follow us on Letterboxd, TikTok, YouTube.

Speaker: Send us a voicemail at Fist 508-8. Dip tip. fist us five away a dipped tip

Speaker: That shit's all going to be in the description. ah let us know You're a fucking schno. University. Right. If you are gay. Spank it to this episode. Let us know.

Speaker: it Definitely hit us up if you spank it to this episode. Are we part of your spank bank? Are you gooning it right now? Let us know. yeah exactly Need that sound effect back. The Dumbledore.

Speaker: Yeah, so we're reviewing an iconic classic movie, The Dark Knight, from one Christopher Nolan. This is the second installment of his trilogy.

Speaker: You got your Batman Begins, which I like a lot, and you don't. I don't know why. Then you got The Dark Knight, and got The Dark Knight Rises, which is whoopsie-daisy. It's, you know, it's... It's not a skip. I shouldn't say No, it's not a skip. You get Anne Hathaway in skin-tight leather.

Speaker: right that's That's a reason to watch it. Yeah. Yeah, you do. And you get an odd portrayal of Bane. He's not the... I can't say that. He's not the Bane you'd see in the Arkham games.

Speaker: Yeah, brother. He's not this Bane. What? How's that? How's that racist? He's a Hispanic guy. That's, I mean, it's not, I didn't say it was racist. I just, that is what he sounds like. Hey, I'm going to juice myself up and then do a fucking 619. 619?

Speaker: ah

Speaker: Yeah, Christopher Nolan, like I said, will go through the cast list if you don't already know the the main players. ah You got Christian Bale, who portrays Bruce Wayne. Christian Bale's a piece, I feel like.

Speaker: yeah Yeah, with age, he still looks good. Heath Ledger, RIP, plays the Joker. um Is he a piece?

Speaker: Heath? is he Yeah, is Heath a piece? Heath Bar? Not good. um No, they're not. Who the fuck likes Heath Bars? you Nobody. Freaks. Right. um Oop, almost something.

Speaker: Maybe a little bit. a So, in the makeup, 100%. 100% a piece? Yeah, him as Joker a hunt is a

Speaker: You heard it here first. I don't think I've seen many Heath Ledger movies. I mean, I've seen A Knight's Tale. Brokeback Mowling, didn't see that? You're fucking breaking Jake Gyllenhaal's back.

Speaker: You've seen it? Yeah. Is it good? I think I gave it a positive rating. I gave it three and a half. It's good if you like butt sex? um There is only like one butt sex scene, but the movie's pretty good, I feel like.

Speaker: He's not even in a lot. he died. Well...

Speaker: ratho So I guess that that would be why Scott didn't watch it. No, he's not. 10 Things I Hate About You, People Who Like That Movie. I am kind of mid on it. And he's in The Patriot. I remember him in The Patriot.

Speaker: RIP to a legend, though. True. We got Aaron Eckhart, who plays Harvey Dent. He's not a piece. No. he's um He's in that movie, Aaron Brockovich. Good movie. I would definitely recommend that to anyone who hasn't seen it.

Speaker: He's in Olympus Has Fallen. London Has Fallen. He's in... What is this? The Wicker Man remake? Oh, Christ. Yeah. He's in Midway. I heard that's pretty good.

Speaker: Yeah, he's in Sully, that movie with Tom Hanks about the dude that crashed a plane in the Hudson River. Shout to Poetown Boys. I guess. um He plays... The movie called Black Dahlia? Oh, Harvey Dent. A.K.A. Two-Face.

Speaker: Two-Face. We got Michael Caine. ah He plays Alfred. Michael Caine's a legend. i mean If you don't know who Michael Caine is... You're a fucking idiot. Respectfully. Yeah, it's Michael Caine.

Speaker: Michael Caine. Everything. might He's in Interstellar, Inception, Dunkirk, Tenet, Prestige. movie and it like prestige The whole Dark Knight trilogy.

Speaker: The Kingsman. He's in Cars 2. Who the fuck is he in Cars 2? He's in Children of Men. Oh, man. Cars 2, is McMissile. Makes sense. He's in movie we were just talking about. Death Becomes Her. Dressed Kill?

Speaker: Good. He's very good in that movie. Is he? Yeah, it's it's a criterion that I own. What the fuck am I looking at here? Youth? It's a naked woman's ass. It's in Gnomeo and Juliet. It's not movie in the theaters. um Yeah, Youth looks like a fun movie.

Speaker: Looks like a porn. I want to watch it. He's also in Going in Style. That's a good movie. ah yeah and And everybody's favorite ah movie, Jaws 4.

Speaker: Jaws of the Revenge. It's horrible. Yikes, Kebab Jerry on that one.

Speaker: um Maggie Gyllenhaal? I mean, what are we doing? Yeah, 100%. I'd give her my Dark Knight. Exactly. She's directing the new The Bride film.

Speaker: So that's exciting. Hopefully she doesn't fuck up. um She's in Donnie Darko. She has a voice acting credit in Monster House. And.

Speaker: um she is in Away We Go. forgot about that. And she's also in the World Trade Center, which is a nine eleven movie that has Nicolas Cage in it. I've seen it. Seems like a very odd casting choice. I do own that movie.

Speaker: Is it good? I watched it as a kid. don't want say good cause that's fucked. But... does it Is it moving? Probably a little bit. There you go. We have Gary Oldman, the legend, the goat, who plays ah Gordon. i don't know why he just says Gordon, but okay. He didn't get commissioner until halfway through the movie. Yeah, but he has a full name, doesn't he?

Speaker: Yeah. It's Gordon. Isn't it James? Yeah, i think so. Jim Gordon. Gordon. James Gordon. Um, if you Gary Oldman is either, i mean, what are you doing? What are you doing? That's serious black to you.

Speaker: Uh, several appearances in Harry Potter. He was in the dark night trilogy. He was in, was it rise or dawn? It's dawn of the planet of the apes. He was literally Dracula. was going say, literally Dracula, literally fucking Dracula.

Speaker: Um, he was in true romance as a white, uh, gangbanger. And he's not even recognizable in that movie. He's in a lot of shit. I mean, this guy's a legend. He's literally a legend.

Speaker: There's a legend walking on the planet Earth right now. He's in so many films. ah we Have you ever seen ah Air Force One with Harrison Ford? No. Fuck you waiting for ratwell please Like the Russian bad guy who's like taking over to Air Force One.

Speaker: Not the shoes. i think I think he's also in the book of Eli, if I'm not wrong. think you're right on that. I think he's the villain in the book of Eli. He is. Um... We got Morgan Freeman. Ever heard of him?

Speaker: Who's that? Here are the penguins. He plays. What? I don't know. What? He plays Lucius Fox. I don't really know if we need to go over Morgan Freeman's filmography. He's Morgan Freeman.

Speaker: Like, come on. Also, shout Ze Frank. He's on YouTube and he does the Morgan Freeman voice about animals and it's very funny. I like that guy. True facts about the sea pig. Exactly.

Speaker: Yeah. um We have Monique Gabriela Kernan, who plays Detective Ramirez. Honestly, in this picture, she's kind of a piece, but in the movie, she's not. No, in the movie, she's just like generic cop lady.

Speaker: So which button are we going to give her? We don't have one for in the between. We have a skip one. That's the in between one. Yeah. We can hit her with that.

Speaker: you Typically, we do it based on the character in the movie, like a lot of the Harry Potter movies, because like we weren't saying we were fucking Hermione when she was like in the first film, you know i mean? Because it's like the character. So she's ah she's a skip in the movie, but she's hot.

Speaker: Yeah, she is hot. She's the Fast and the Furious and Lady in the Water. And that's about all I know in this movie.

Speaker: We have... Ron Dean who plays Wurtz. ah This dude's been a lot of shit. He's in the Breakfast Club, The Color Money. He's in Cocktail. Bad movie.

Speaker: Cocktail, no good. Never even heard of it. If you, will as Tom Cruise, if you like Cocktail, ah respectfully, don't listen this podcast anymore. I'm just kidding. People like it?

Speaker: People, yeah, I hate that movie. It sucks. He's risky business. She is in risky business. Gotta watch that. He. um'm have rudy chuck I've seen Rudy, haven't I? Who hasn't seen Rudy?

Speaker: i think like I've seen Rudy. You know. What's the one where the special needs kid wants to play football? That's radio. I've seen that one. I've seen radio. Yeah. want to play football!

Speaker: ah um Killian Murphy plays Scarecrow. you don't Killian Murphy is either, respectfully, what are you doing? What are you doing? He was literally Oppenheimer. Well, yeah.

Speaker: But he wasn't even in this movie that much. We you mean we you mean we need a true Scarecrow movie with him he was literally the main villain of the Batman Begins yeah but I need it in this one too I need I need Joker Scarecrow mosh pit copy that copy he was literally an Oppenheimer like was Oppenheimer he's in that movie called Red Eye it's a pretty good movie oh yeah the plane one right right it's a pretty good movie little horny um

Speaker: He's in 28 Days Later. Inception, 28 Days Later, which you can't watch as you own it. so now Now you can. you can you you You can't stream it. Well, you can stream it, but you got to rent it.

Speaker: Well, I own it, so. Yeah, you do. We got, um let's try not to be racist here. We have Chin Han, who plays Lao. And apparently he was in Captain America, the Winter Soldier.

Speaker: As who? As Chin Lan. but Oh, he's in Mortal Kombat? Who's he in Mortal Kombat? He's probably like... Wow.

Speaker: Okay, no bullshit. His name, his character name in Captain America, the Winter Soldier is Councilman Yen.

Speaker: Do better, Disney.

Speaker: We play Shang Tsung. and He's in Skyscraper. He's in Contagion. He's in 2012. He's in Independence Day. ah Next, we got Nestor...

Speaker: Carbonell, maybe? Carbonara? Can we be honest? This man is wearing an eyeliner. I don't like his face. He's the mayor. He's for sure wearing eyeliner. You can't tell me I'm wrong.

Speaker: No, you're right. I'm looking at same picture. He just looks like a douchebag to me. Thank you. Sorry. i was in he that as Several people in this cast list have been in that Imperium movie with Daniel Radcliffe where he says the N-word.

Speaker: I need to watch this movie. i am We should do it for the podcast. I am curious. That'd be fucking crazy. Tony Collette's in it. What? Tony Collette's in it? Yeah. She's the second person on the list.

Speaker: Oh my god, we gotta watch this movie. This is Chris Sullivan. This is guy from Presence. The guy from Presence is in it too. Jesus, we gotta watch this. Chris Sullivan, who has a white guy named in that movie. I don't know what it is anymore. was Chris. Yeah, it's still Chris.

Speaker: Chris Payne. Alright, check out our Presence review. We gotta watch this movie. We do. ah Then we have Eric Roberts, who plays Maroney, not macaroni.

Speaker: um He's a bunch of shit. I'm going to keep moving through these people, though. um Who else is worth mentioning? Anthony Michael Hall plays Angle. He's the news reporter. ah Colin McFarlane plays Loeb, like earlobe.

Speaker: yeah right he He's the commissioner at the time. But then he know. Joshua Hardo plays Reese. ah We have Melinda McGraw, who plays Barbara Gordon.

Speaker: Nathan Gamble plays James Gordon. I'm going to skip these people. ah Michael J. White plays Gamble. um I guess we'll give William Fitchner a credit. He's the bank manager at the beginning of the movie.

Speaker: Sure. ah And I think that might be everybody that I want to give credit to. We'll give a shout out to ah David Dasmalchian.

Speaker: Oh, where the fuck? He's on here, isn't He's deep. He plays, a it just says Joker's thug. He is a Joker thug, yeah. But he's in, you know, Late Night with the Devil.

Speaker: You don't like that movie because you're wrong? i't fine He's in Oppenheimer, apparently.

Speaker: Yeah, is. Yeah, he definitely is. ah We're going, i mean, i don't know when this is coming out, but we're going back to our classic two guys, one screen layout, scene by scene review.

Speaker: So this long John Silver. Yeah. If you haven't, it is two and a half hours. So if you haven't seen it, maybe go watch it and come back. Or if you want the cliff note version, you're in the right place. Here you go.

Speaker: Yeah, I mean, okay. And you know, it's about Batman. So there's bats. Bats. No bat cave. No rats, but bats.

Speaker: Right. Right. Our bat cave is a... White room. I'm trying to see your cat cave. Cat cave? Oh, like your pussy. want Your pussy hole.

Speaker: Right. Yeah. yeah i still Dude, that's crazy say pussy hole. Oh, yeah. People be I want to see your pussy, then someone's talking to your pussy hole. Like, whoa.

Speaker: Sometimes pussy doesn't even like sound hot to me. Maybe you're gay. I'm not going say I want to see your vagina. Hole. Show me your twat hole.

Speaker: yeah Snatch hole. ah See, you're so that sounds... I feel like putting a hole is repetitive because like vagina is obviously a hole. Right.

Speaker: It's not only a hole, okay? But like, you know what I mean? like it's it is a It is a... Like when someone says vagina, I'm not thinking about like... The hole.

Speaker: A notebook. You what mean? I'm thinking about like a vagina that has a hole. Right. Right. So like I think it's saying vagina hole. outside is the labia. Correct? We should say the we just say the the vagina holes because there's multiple.

Speaker: Yeah, you got your pee hole, your fuck and birthing hole. Then you your shithole in the back.

Speaker: Damn, girl. Let me see all them holes. What does shithole do? but Damn girl, can I put it up your pee hole? that must be that's not That's like a nerf gun, dude. That's crazy.

Speaker: um a Nerf gun? I would say squirt gun. i would say squirt gun. Let me see your nerf gun, baby.

Speaker: You packing that sniper, aren't you? ya yo ah Fucking shoot me across the room with your squirt. Oh, wow. And squirt is pee, right? it's I don't think it is.

Speaker: It's not not pee, though.

Speaker: I don't know. if you got a hold If you hold that much pee in, because I've seen some crazy squirt fests, you what I'm saying?

Speaker: It's a fluid similar to urine. but words it's a high yeah So it's not pee, but it's also not not pee. Probably little pee comes out. So what is it? Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker: Urethra. Is it like the stuff that gets them wet? probably pi loops all up i don't know if fear're a woman let us know and if you're a woman's podcast god bless your soul can we just say something the vagina is ah is a beautiful thing it self lubricates that's amazing that is like that's like ah humans one lose living that's like yeah biology right there yeah we we went from apes to self lubricating vaginas this is fantastic exactly um So the Dark Knight.

Speaker: So the Dark Knight, no vagina in the Dark Knight, but the Dark Knight, I think the opening this movie is iconic. For sure. Very, very, very iconic.

Speaker: um you're It's like a pan over of a city and it kind of focuses on a one building and you see some glass shatter and then Stone Cold walks out. was already made We've already made that joke and I just had to make it again. Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah. um But some glass shatters and we see a guy um in the building and he like shoots a fucking zip line.

Speaker: um don What do you even call this thing? you Grappling hook? he shit he This man has a grappling hook. And then there's another guy on a corner holding a clown mask who gets picked up and goes in a car.

Speaker: We see the people from the building zip line across ah to a different building. um We then cut to this car ride with... ah We find out there's six shares.

Speaker: Well, there's five shares. The sixth one being for the Joker who organized this hit. It's a hit on a bank. Yeah. You ever robbed a bank before? All right. You know, that one in Apple Valley always got robbed, though. I don't know why.

Speaker: That's so fucking true, dude. Always got robbed. That's so Don't go to that one. and i don't If you're a Poe Town boy, you probably know what we're talking about. Or you've robbed it yourself. I don't know. yeah If you robbed the Apple Valley bank, let us know.

Speaker: hit us the chase one. Yeah. Yeah. Hit us up. We won't, did you work? You can use your, um, witness protection name. Yeah. Right. Shout out Ron, I guess. Um, fucking Ron, Ron, you still listening?

Speaker: Fucking Ryan Butler bleep that. Uh, I wouldn't have even said that. Well, we can bleep it. ah They're in the car, and they're like, yeah, there's five shares, but there's actually six because we're for the Joker. They're all wearing clown masks. You don't know who's who. It's just a bunch of dudes in a car with a clown mask on. Is that Joker?

Speaker: Is that Joker? And they're talking shit about a Joker, and literally they know he's in the car with them. um And they say he wears makeup or war paint to scare people. By the way, I'm to stop...

Speaker: They use the word war paint. I know. I know. But. don't know if it's war paint. It's a little aggressive. Can we give a shout out to Hans Zimmer? The score fucks. It does. I mean, the score fucks.

Speaker: Like you want to get fucked? Fucks. All right. We see two clown henchman Johns. One is able to switch off the silent alarm.

Speaker: And he mentioned that it made a call to a private number. And I guess they're saying that because the bank they're hitting is a mob bank. So it's not going to call the police. Right. ah And then the clown behind him, and he's like, yeah, we all good. He's like, yeah.

Speaker: And then he kills him. Gone. With a silencer, of course. Because you got to keep it silent. Even though they're near nobody. But yes, you got to keep it silent. I'm assuming a gun a gunshot in Gotham is probably like everyday activity.

Speaker: That's like Poughkeepsie activity. Yeah. Right. like i say Actually, it's like Newberg activity. Definitely Newberg, dude. So they the rest of the the dudes go into the bank and start robbing the bank. They put grenades in everybody's hands and pull the pins. have to keep They have to keep their hands together, which is smart.

Speaker: That's some suck fuck shit. Some suck fuck shit? Mm-hmm. I'll suck fuck you. fuck shit. I'll suck fuck you at Fuddruckers. Wow. I don't know. You're not getting tongue twisted.

Speaker: ah Not like... hung around my shaft though I wish I could. i want to split my tongue so it's in two and I can just fucking grasp it. I saw a porn like that. It was kind of crazy. I don't like that. Nope. Did you jerk off to that?

Speaker: When he started fucking her, I did. I skipped through the blowjob. Was she laying there like taking like this? so like a like Was she like laying there? Yeah, but she was like going like, you know. Oh, when she was getting pounded?

Speaker: Yeah. No. Okay. Because if he was pounding her and her tongue came and i saw that, I'd be like, I'm soft. No. Because she was hot until she did that. Soft serve of ice cream. That's what I call diarrhea.

Speaker: by the Right. Also, um I wanted to say I used my Manscaped kit again and it did not go as well as the first time. The first time went really well. The second the other attachment that you use for your nards just didn't really do ah good job.

Speaker: You have an attachment for your nards? The Manscaped kit that I got has two different attachments. It has like a typical do your face, do your bush. The top part. yeah and then like There's a part you can take it off and you put a different part on. It's like a rolly drawn. and They say that's for your nards.

Speaker: The Nickproof roller. oh no I just go straight bare blade yeah i mean so i it it was so ineffective that i used that instead yeah you just yeah i mean they say it's nick proof but hey my name's nick so how is that right gonna happen yeah well yeah you had a bad you had a bad uh experience so it's nick proof uh and then i took a shower it doesn't really matter um does yours have an led light on it yeah and it has different modes

Speaker: Oh, got different. Damn. What the fuck you got? the The latest one. 5.0? Yeah. Shit.

Speaker: Sorry. i was getting text messages. About to come over and trim my balls at your house. You can come over whenever you want, dude. i'll I'll leave my mouth open like a garbage disposal for your pubes. Oh, that was kind of gross.

Speaker: I just trim it over the over the toilet. Me too. That's what I did. Yeah. And then you kind of got like scoop the rest hunched. you're like hunched over. Oh, yeah. It's not comfortable at all. I would never. By the way, I did. Did I tell you this? I caught a glimpse of my own asshole.

Speaker: Again. Oh, you showered. This has happened before. And the first one was shocking. This time i kind of knew what I was in for. Yeah. um Is it nice? No. I mean, I don't get me wrong. I clean my ass every day.

Speaker: Yeah. My shower. I clean it like I fucking stick the ra like i stick like the detachable head in the shower up there. um And I fucking clean my ass out. But I was looking at it.

Speaker: You know, I was like, why does it look like that? And then there were like these brown spots. I'm like, do I have shit all over my ass? Are they freckles? But like I hadn't shit in so long. Like I hadn't shit recently. So it was just like, I definitely wasn't shit.

Speaker: If there was shit, it was dried out shit. think You know what it it your order it is? Moles? it's No, it's just so much hair in my ass crack that's like bound, not knotted, but like all together in one area that looks like a solid like piece of mass.

Speaker: Yeah. And it looks like shit. I literally stuck my, I went like this. This is how clean my assholes. I stuck my fingers like this and I did like a credit card in my asshole. Oh, nice. And then I smelled my hand and no smell.

Speaker: Huh? If that was shit, I would smell it. Right. percent um someone So someone's got to get up in there and like, you know, trim around it a little bit. I was looking at you big dog. What do you want to see my stink star? I don't know if you want to see that or not. I'm going to fuck.

Speaker: All right. Homies are homies, you know? We are homies, and you I don't think I want to see yours, because yours is probably like a fucking bloodbath going on right now. That's what I'm saying. It's probably like... It's probably not good.

Speaker: No, probably it looks like a fucking alien egg sack or something. Yeah. you know Yeah, it probably does. Like a face hugger just jumped out of my ass. It probably looks like you're giving birth or about to give birth.

Speaker: Probably. Yeah. Just talking about it's making me itch a little. All right, we'll go back to Batman, I guess. I'll be honest. Christopher Nolan? Nope. um Christian Bale?

Speaker: Christian Bale? He probably got a clean asshole. He's a little less jacked in this movie than I remember. Yeah, he's not American Psycho jacked, but he's he's a skinny mini. he's Yeah, he's definitely and more in shape than I ever will be.

Speaker: So they're in this bank and they're trying to rob the bank. And the this banker who I gave credit to and in the and the cast list comes out with a fucking shotgun. Starts blowing people away.

Speaker: Boom!

Speaker: And these two clown clowns hide behind. a They take cover. And the guy shoots and doesn't shoot. And he goes, he's out. Like one of the guys, that he's out, right? And the other guy goes, yeah.

Speaker: Like kind of like, sure. And he goes out there gets fucking shot. But he doesn't die. No, he doesn't die, which is kind of weird. Right. um We cut back to the other clowns who are drilling into the safe.

Speaker: um It's a mob bank. And as soon as the the guy who's drilling into the safe is like, what happened to the silent alarm guy? And I was like, oh, yeah, we popped him, Joker said.

Speaker: And the other guy's like, yeah, funny. I heard something similar. And they fucking murder the drill guy. They, he, they don't have names. They're just henchmen. So, right. It's just guy one guy too.

Speaker: Right. So we are back in the lobby. The guy that's hiding, uh, who did not get shot lights up the fucking, uh, bank manager. Yeah. Like an Uzi.

Speaker: Yeah. And the guy that got shot was like, what fuck's wrong with you? And he's like, I'm guessing Joker told you to kill me. He's trying to get in front of it, which respect. Right. And he's like, I'm not enough. I'm put you out first.

Speaker: And the other guy kind of positions himself to be out of the way. And he goes, no, no, no. I killed the bus driver. What bus driver?

Speaker: And then driver suddenly ah bus pulls in and he doesn't like get murdered, but he gets knocked out. Like she sends him flying backwards. It didn't even look like the bus hit him at all.

Speaker: Uh, and then the bus driver comes out of the car also wearing a clown mask. And it's very funny, these scenes with this one guy, because they all just like start talking to him, he doesn't answer at all.

Speaker: And they're just talking. and not It happens a lot. It happens later the film. I'll point it out again. But they just talk, and like there's just no answer. it's like If I was talking to somebody, and there was never an answer, I would just probably be you want to fucking die?

Speaker: Yeah, like a dickwad. Yeah, fucking talking to you. um So he's talking about how much money there is, and then the other guy is sick of his shit. He's like, whoa, that's a lot of money.

Speaker: He just gets fucking gatted. Um...

Speaker: And they're about, so there's one, there's one guy left and he's about to leave. And then the bank manager starts talking shit to him. So he walks over and he sticks. What is this? Like a gas?

Speaker: It looks like a, yeah. no oh yeah It looks like a smoke grenade, but it's got to explode. I mean, it's whatever it is. It's probably not good. No, it's not going to inhale it. Right. And he sticks it in the bank manager's mouth. Yeah.

Speaker: i um And i he's talking shit. And eventually the bank manager is just like, what do you believe in And this one guy you get to reveal, it's the Joker. And he says, i don't, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stranger.

Speaker: It's kind of a banger line. It is. um so it's the face for the Joker. What i don't like here that we can all choose to ignore because movie's great is the bus pulls out right out in line with the rest of the buses.

Speaker: And they don't stop. Yeah, and and no one's like, that's not weird. Like, whoa, that, wow, why'd that but bus probably filled with school children just pull out of the side of that bank?

Speaker: Right. What happened to the side of that bank? Why are you in the bank? I need money.

Speaker: ah We cut and we hear over the TV a mayor interview about ah the rate of crime in Gotham. It's obviously running rampant, ah but Batman has done a lot of work. And for some reason, they still think like Fred your foe. He's like literally cleaning your streets for you.

Speaker: You fucking assholes. That's what I never understood about. Like the whole Batman dilemma. The Batman relationship. Yeah, like.

Speaker: He's literally, what has he done that has been so bad? He's doing the job that you can't do. yeah know He's getting it done. He's a vigilante. Yeah, that's with all vigilantes, though. like They do it with Spider-Man, too. like Jameson's always like, he's a menace. like Yeah, but that one's like, ja he's like the only one who think that thinks that.

Speaker: That's true. As far as a Tobey Maguire Spider-Man timeline is concerned. Yeah. But, like, Gordon trusts him. That's a Yeah.

Speaker: But no one else does yet. Well, I don't even know. Harvey kind of does. Harvey likes him.

Speaker: Harvey must trust him because later in the film, he says he's the Batman. And then it's essentially the trap because he trusted Batman to do the right thing and like save him.

Speaker: Yeah, essentially. And like capture, help him capture the Joker. But yeah. Uh, we, there's a lot of cuts. This Christopher Nolan guy loves to cut. He's a big cutter.

Speaker: Yeah. If I do say so myself, this Christopher Nolan guy, I don't know who this, you know, you know, I don't know why they gave this guy to do Batman. You know, he must, they must have saw something in him. So, uh, we see Gordon, who is not commissioner, uh, waiting at the bat signal and a detective. This is a Ramirez.

Speaker: So if he's not commissioner yet, is he just... What is he? ah Is he just a detective or is he chief of police? He's a detective and he runs his own unit at the MCU, not the Marvel Cinematic Universe. When they were saying that, I was like, what?

Speaker: Yeah. He has his own special unit, which ah Harvey Dent doesn't like, but we'll get to that. um And Ramirez walks out and she... Yep.

Speaker: Hey, that's the dude. Yeah, because you know, maybe he got... Maybe his dad was fucking his mom when she was pregnant and he got a dent in his forehead. you know That's awesome.

Speaker: Or, I mean, this is really bad and I shouldn't say this. I'm going to say it anyways. yeah maybe Maybe his mom and his dad were arguing and the dad pushed the mom down the stairs.

Speaker: Play a bi that ah the button! If his mom took a tumble down the stairs, he definitely got a dent in his head, alright? For sure, dude. We love domestic violence.

Speaker: No! No, we don't! No, we don't. we don't not domestic violence We don't support domestic violence. We're 35 minutes in and we've made it five minutes into the movie.

Speaker: I'm kidding. Obviously, it's a joke. Just some people don't think it's funny. I've lost my spot. my spot Don't beat your wife. Don't beat your husband. Don't beat your girlfriend. Don't beat your boyfriend. Just beat your meat.

Speaker: Don't beat your kids. I mean, unless they have a coming, you know? Well, what's happening? Obviously, I'm joking again, okay? Sure. Don't beat anybody up unless they yeah fight you first. Yeah, that's not nice. Self-defense, cool.

Speaker: Yeah, shout out Brandon Kent. He tried to swing up he tried to swing on me in middle school. I tried to swing on him when he was trying to steal my girl. Hey, Mr. Steal Girl. all right. So we are, where are we? The mayor is having an interview on the TV and we were talking about Batman's relationship.

Speaker: We were talking about Gordon not seeing his wife. Yeah. That's what were talking about. um And she asked Gordon where Batman's at and Gordon's like, well, hopefully he's busy.

Speaker: Gary Oldman, some of the best line delivery in this the whole film. Oh, yeah. Gary Oldman. He's a lot of banger lines. And I forgot exactly what he said, but it was something to the effect of like, well, he's not here. Hopefully it means he's busy. And then it just cuts. It's like fucking Gary Oldman. You rock, dude. And like Gary Oldman, isn't he like British?

Speaker: He could be. I don't know. I don't don't think he's American, but if he's not American, his you can't even tell. Like, you know, he's got a good American accent. We cut to a drug deal in a parking garage ah between Scarecrow and these Eastern European type dudes.

Speaker: Are they like um Russian? And he brought the dogs with him. He did. um And he's pissed about the results because from the first movie, Scarecrow was manufacturing this like fear gas. Fear toxin.

Speaker: um And he's like, I told you would take you places. I didn't tell you where. um while they're arguing about the drug deal, a silhouette of Batman, air quotes, ah show up.

Speaker: Pulls out the gat. Pulls out the fucking gat and there's a gunfight. um One of these bat men try to hold a gun up to Scarecrow and immediately gets gassed like, don't make the joke. We can't make the joke.

Speaker: and It's so easy and I shouldn't do it and it's wrong. Okay, Nick, don't do that. You know, some boy in the striped pajama type shit. I've never...

Speaker: um ah Yeah. You dig? You don't lay it down That is not okay, but it is funny. Yeah.

Speaker: Okay. So...

Speaker: Yeah, he got gassed with the fear toxin. Not the boy in the striped pajamas, the the fake Batman. That's some fear toxin, though. I ain't going lie. but I mean, they were probably scared. I'd no doubt.

Speaker: I'd be scared. We don't condone the Holocaust. Mass genocide. Or mass genocide either. We don't condone any of that. Yeah. ah The real Batman pulled up in the Batmobile um and even Scarecrow's like, that's more fucking like it.

Speaker: He's like, um that's my guy right there. And then... I don't why I made Scarecrow Canadian. and i don't know either. Yeah, why don't you sound fear toxin, bud? want to see some weird shit?

Speaker: The Batmobile is set to intimidate and it just like fires like a rocket. What is a bullet? I don't know. It blows up a car. Right. um Which is kind of weird because another car is backing out like you.

Speaker: Batman could have killed that guy. Right. I mean, people definitely die in this movie. There's a weird thing with that. Yeah. Yeah. Batman's like, I don't kill, but sometimes sure about that on the weekends.

Speaker: Right. He shows up. Batman shows up. And because a fake Batman is trying to aim his gun, he bends the gun rifle like forward downwards.

Speaker: That's some Hagrid shit. He right. He fights some goons um and then gets bit by a dog, which he didn't like. He did also eat that dog down to the bottom of the parking lot. Oh, it's dead.

Speaker: Well, to be fair, he killed two dogs this movie, bro. Yeah, but they're they're bad dogs. yeah i You know, I never thought you'd come around to animal violence.

Speaker: Rottweilers are fucking crazy, though. you know Yeah, that's like saying all black people are bad, too. You can't say that. It's not right. Well, not all Rottweilers are bad. it's like saying how huh so you raise them.

Speaker: Yeah. Scarecrow wants out, and he gets in this van, and Batman tries to latch onto this van, but he gets knocked off. Um, but he's able to time his jump from like the, the parking garage is like a spiral, a spiral drawn.

Speaker: This is like some gangster shit, man. Yeah. And he jumps and times it perfectly to land on top of the car. You know what that reminded me of Shout out Christian Bale, American psycho. When he's got the fucking chainsaw.

Speaker: Oh, he drops it. Wow. You think that was a callback? That is a wild callback that I've never made that connection to before. There you go. um The next scene, we just see the copycat ah Batman and Scarecrow tied up waiting for police to ride, I imagine.

Speaker: And we get the famous, ah what's the difference between you and me? I'm not wearing hockey pants. Yeah. um We cut to Gordon with a police force investigating the bank robbery.

Speaker: um And Batman shows up. So they're like, we need the room, please. ah And they talk about Harvey Dent a little bit, and they he's a stubborn guy.

Speaker: um we cut to Alfred, who is walking into Bruce Wayne's room to give him breakfast, I'd imagine, and he's not there. Nah, he's in a penthouse because, you know, Wayne Manor doesn't exist.

Speaker: Shout out Liam Neeson for burning his house down. The fuck, Liam? Fuck the rich, i you know what mean? You know saying? We follow Alfred to a construction site and he goes inside like a ship, a shipping crate that brings him down to, I put in air quotes, bat cave, because as you mentioned, it's more of a bat room, bat room.

Speaker: Um, and Bruce is trying to stitch himself up from a dog bite. And Alfred's like, get more by tiger. He's like, it was a big dog.

Speaker: um And then they're talking about the new DA Harvey Dent, if he's trustworthy. And Alfred's just like, oh, you don't think he's trustworthy because he hangs out with Rachel. Rachel is Bruce's number one.

Speaker: His lover. yeah yo yeah yeah I mean, Bruce loves her so much. He wants to give up being Batman to be with her. That's some dedication, dude. Yeah. um And there's ah there's a, while they're speaking, Bruce takes his short off and you see a lot of bruises and whatnot.

Speaker: And i Alfred warns him about his, his limits. Batman has no limits. Never. We cut to a court hearing.

Speaker: ah where one Harvey Dent does show up late. ah Rachel's already there. And he offers to flip a coin for who takes the lead in the case. Well, it's a spoiler.

Speaker: If you know anything about the DC comics foreshadowing, maybe the coin is also rigged to make his own luck so he can get the result that he wants no matter what. Um, and it is the, the case is is basically indicting Salvatore Moroni, who is the head of the mob in Gotham city.

Speaker: Uh, because Carmine Falcone is a psychopath who got gassed, uh, by Scarecrow and Batman begins. Um, but one of the goons is on the stand and he's like, uh, you know, it's me. I'm the Moroni's the fall guy.

Speaker: And, uh, Den asked to treat him as hostile. The witness is hostile. It's like, I'll show you a hostile. And he pulls a gun out and it doesn't fucking work because guess what? It's not American.

Speaker: Oh, so. Oh, man. The one thing that does bother me about this scene where i was just like, hurrah is like, He goes to shoot him. It jams. He takes the gun apart. And he's like, buy American, which is like, fuck yeah, America.

Speaker: And everybody cheered for him. And then, and then the judge like, yeah, get him out here. He wait, your honor, I'm not done yet. Like, dude, get the fuck up, dude. Shut the fuck up, man. Stop acting like you're tough, dude. Like also, where don't they search these people before they come in the courtroom?

Speaker: Well, so my answer to that actually is the mob ah is infiltrated. The police the corruption is, you know I mean So I could see it being an inside job like nine 11, but,

Speaker: But then they're then they're in the ah then they're in the hallway, and Rachel and Dent are talking. And he's like, yeah, I'm fine, by the way. it's And she's like, if you're not getting shot, you're not doing your job right.

Speaker: Which is like, fair enough. Is that true? I don't know. I'm not a cop. I work in a kitchen. not a cop. Kitchen. i don The DA a isn't even a cop, though.

Speaker: No, he's basically a lawyer. Yeah.

Speaker: Dent tells Rachel that he's meeting ah Jim Gordon. And Rachel, like, he's a friend. Be nice to him. And he's not nice to at all. ah We cut to a meeting between Dent and Gordon. And Gordon gives him, like, a bullshit kind of, like, you know, policy is to arrest the Batman on site.

Speaker: And Dent's like, no, I know you fucking work with him. I want to meet him. um We find out here that Dent has put All the money launderers in jail, but the mob is still getting their money out of the banks.

Speaker: um And he's also pretty pissed that Gordon has his own special unit with people that he investigated at Internal Affairs. Internal Affairs, think I said that backwards. um And then, essentially, the pitch is for Dent to grant warrants for search and seizure on five banks.

Speaker: ah But Gordon will not tell him what they're after. He'll just tell them names the banks. And he's like, all right, well, if I want you... If I give you these warrants, I want your trust. And Gordon's like, you don't you already have my trust. You're Gotham's white knight.

Speaker: White knight is what I call my peener. There you go. Sometimes. Oh, the white knight. And then Batman's the dark knight. Yin yang. Wow. Or yin yang yin yang.

Speaker: I don't know. i yeah in i hear Coach Steve saying it only. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um He also mentions that a little more foreshadowing that he has a different name down at the MCU, but there's Gordon denies any any knowledge of that.

Speaker: Anyway, want to take a guess what it is in the comment section below? Is it one face? No, no, Is it three face? Okay. Maybe. Is it dickhead?

Speaker: ah Can you find Rachel? Okay. We keep on these Dora mashups. It's pretty funny. It is funny. That shit's hilarious. um that That fucking clip got like 11 views. I was pissed.

Speaker: We see an Asian man. This is Lau. who is inclusion let's go he's giving a pitch to Wayne Enterprises to like ah be in partnership or something like that or invest.

Speaker: um And Bruce Wayne is at the meeting, but he is asleep because he works nights. ah Yeah, you could say that. He ain't getting paid for it, but he working nights.

Speaker: ah And Lucius Fox... Working the street corners. Right. Literally. Literally. Lucius Fox gets up and says they're happy to have him here and they think and thanks him, even though Wayne's fucking asleep.

Speaker: And this accountant guy, lawyer dude... Reese walks up to Fox after the meeting and is like, the trust fund numbers are like airtight.

Speaker: And Fox is like, do them again. All right. Okay, whatever you say, man. Fucking um dickhead. After that, Fox talks to Bruce and says that Lau's numbers are very sus.

Speaker: But Bruce already knew that. He just wanted them to come in so he could get a better look at their books. And Bruce asked for a new suit. And fucking Fox already knows that he can't fucking like turn his head sideways. So like, yeah.

Speaker: He's like, oh, you want to turn your head? Yeah, dude. yeah i'm I'm tired of looking like a fucking statue. i gotta go like this fucking. Hello? yeah I gotta turn my entire body to look at it in a direction.

Speaker: Like fucking Michael Keaton in the 89 Batman. Right. Like that's not comfortable or logical, convenient. Yeah.

Speaker: It's nothing. ah We cut to ah Harvey Dent and Rachel. They're going out to dinner. And Dent says it took three weeks to get a reservation. Plus, he had to say he was in the government.

Speaker: Wow. It's one of those restaurants. And Bruce walks in with a ah ballerina.

Speaker: And ah runs into Harvey and Rachel.

Speaker: And he's like, yeah, we can probably put these tables together. It shouldn't be a big deal. And Dent's like, are you sure? He's like, yeah, I own the place. Yeah, come on. um So then we were privy to this conversation before them at dinner, and they're discussing, I don't know if the word is the ethics, but like the, what like what's your take on having a vigilante in our town?

Speaker: ah The ballerina is very much heavy against having a vigilante like running around doing this. So is Bruce. um Right. And and Dan is Dan fucks with it because ah the city is kind of turned into this and then allowed Batman to clean the streets and then not.

Speaker: It doesn't make sense. Like you're letting Batman do all this work. And now like you want to be you want to complain about it. Right. like Either. You know.

Speaker: Well, we get the iconic line here of ah you die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain, which Dent says. More foreshadowing. Foreskinning. um And within this conversation, Bruce Wayne is sold on Harvey Dent, and he wants to throw Dent a fundraiser.

Speaker: But Dent's not up for re-election for like three more years, but he's like, don't worry, bud. You'll be set for the rest of your life. Don't worry, bod. All maple syrup ever want. With the people I know, bod, I'll get you a ringside ticket to the Maple Leafs.

Speaker: Fucking Maple Leafs. um We cut to a mob meeting. And they're, I don't know, video calling Lao, but he's on a TV.

Speaker: Very strange. Don't know how that works. And essentially, Lao pitches to the mob that they should ah group all their funds into one big pot.

Speaker: um And have him store it secure location where no one else could know in case they compromised. And he'll be in Hong Kong. ah So that the U.S. can't even touch him.

Speaker: but Right? And they are all like, oh, this is kind of a good idea. ah They go, when can we do this? He goes, well, already did it. Yeah, whatever. It's already done. Because their funds were getting stolen that day.

Speaker: um and As he's saying all this, it does show the cops ah going into the banks and finding nothing besides the marked bills they had left to keep tracking.

Speaker: And as he's kind of finishing his pitch, the Joker walks in with that ha, ha, he, ha. You know, that was pretty good. i don't if I'm That was pretty good. Thank you.

Speaker: And he says that he thought his jokes were bad. ah And he then... Gamal does not fuck with Joker at all. And he sends a goon over to like, i don't know, escort him out or something. And the Joker's like, you want to see a magic trick?

Speaker: And he makes a pencil disappear by essentially slamming this guy's head into the pencil. Joker's essentially John Wick. A little bit.

Speaker: ah And he sits down and he's like, look, y'all running scare. You're having meetings in middle of the day all because of the Batman. That's the main reason why we don't have a quality criminal.

Speaker: That really is his big thing. like There's no good quality criminals. they're all just greedy fucks. yeah I want to be a good criminal. So he proposes that they kill the Batman, and he says he'll do it for half of their net worth.

Speaker: How much do you want? um Half. Half. And they all laugh him. um And he does point out that Batman has no limits and he will grab Lau and Lau will squeal and give them all up.

Speaker: um And then he makes a dig i Gamble about not being able to buy a dime bag for his grandmother. What's a dime bag? Coke. Coke.

Speaker: Oh, okay. Got it. Yeah, it's Coke. Sorry, I don't know my fucking drug terms. Sorry, I work with drug addict addicts every day. Oh, booger sugar. And the one of Gamble's dudes goes up to like attack him again, but he opens his jacket and he's rigged with granados.

Speaker: <unk> Yeah, he's fucking... Incoming.

Speaker: ah And Gamble put the head... Maybe. R.I.P. I mean... R.I.P. Osama? ah this We're coming up... what He got murdered around now.

Speaker: It was March when he got murdered. Yeah. I remember John Cena ah did a big announcement on Raw.

Speaker: Oh, May, not March. Well, still. That's my search history now. All right. Moving on. Just so you know. Gamble puts a hit out on Joker for 500k dead, a million alive.

Speaker: And the Joker is like, well, when you guys are actually ready to talk, I'll leave you my card. And it's like a Joker card from like a set of playing cards. Get it. It's got it. Our back. We cut to Batman, who I guess is answering the bat signal, and but Dent is there. And Gordon walks in. And essentially, Batman just watched Gordon and Dent arguing because the money... You're standing there. It's kind of awkward.

Speaker: The money was taken, and Dent is very, very sure that it's because Gordon has dirty cops in his unit. um And they ask Batman if you can get Lau back from China.

Speaker: And Batman's like, will you get him to talk? Or Hong Kong. I'm sorry. It's one of the two. Hong Kong? And ah Harvey Dent's like, I'll get him to sing. And then Batman just kind of disappears as he does.

Speaker: He's like, he does that. That's what Gordon says. We cut to ah Wayne telling Lucius that he's going to China.

Speaker: um wait With... yeah That's probably out by now, right? Yeah. Hopefully. Yeah.

Speaker: lao is going are Fox is going with Bruce to China to tell Lao to his face the deal's off. But it's a diversion because he's going there really for a Batman mission-type beat. ah Where he wants to jump out of a plane, ah grab somebody, and then get snagged back up.

Speaker: and Sounds easy enough. Fox calls it a skyhook. Shout out Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Oh! um We...

Speaker: See the new suit? It's lighter, and but it is more vulnerable to knives and gunfire. Which, the yin and the yang, Bruce, you know, you want to move your head, but you can die easier.

Speaker: Right. That's very valid.

Speaker: You downed that shit, huh?

Speaker: I was going to try to gargle it but didn't work. Gargle my fucking cum. I would, you asked me nicely. Well, please. ah They set up the logistics with like a South Korean smuggler gang team.

Speaker: um And Alfred but rents a boat for the weekend with the Russian ballet dancers. And we see Dent and Rachel pull up skirt to the Russian ballet and it's closed.

Speaker: um We then cut to Gamble, who has been told that a group of guys have the Joker dead. So they bring him in in a trash bag, uh, but quickly realize he's not dead. Um, and the guys that bring him in hold guns to gamble's men and the Joker holds a knife to gamble's mouth.

Speaker: And here it is. you get the classic, you wonder how I got these scars. My father and they drinker and they, the Joker changes that story every time. It's always funny as shit.

Speaker: Yeah. Um, And you get the why so serious. And then he's just like like gold dust. And then it's actually kind of funny. He looks at like the dude like off the tights just goes, why so serious? And then he just fucking murders him. Slice his neck. neck, throat.

Speaker: So there's there's three of Gamble's henchmen hanging out. Not hanging out. They're gunpoint. It's not hanging out. This is everyday Friday for them. And the Joker's like, look, we got a tight team, so we're going to have tryouts.

Speaker: A cue ball? Not a cue ball. Pool? No, stick. It's a cue. It's called a cue. Is what it's called? Yeah. Oh. I've only played pool like twice. I frequently play pool.

Speaker: I'm not good, but I frequently play. He took a pool cue broke Stuck on his ass. And now they're pointy. And now they're splinters.

Speaker: The guys on the floor are like, ooh, splinters.

Speaker: I want you guys to fight with pool cues and get splinters. Make it quick. So essentially to fight to the death.

Speaker: ah We cut to Hong Kong where Fox arrives and he has to check his cell phone in at the front desk. And then he goes up to meet Lau at like a rooftop restaurant type beat.

Speaker: Oh, hello, Lucius, huh? Another phone goes off in his pocket and Lau freaks the fuck out. We do not allow cell phones here. Lau does sound like those booger looking creatures in Star Wars.

Speaker: The Trade Federation. The Trade Federation joint people it in and episode one. Oh, the Gungans? The Jedi. No, not the Gungans. The other ones. The Trade Federation. The green dudes. The pointy dudes.

Speaker: hey what The ones that get murdered at the end of three. Yeah. Okay. and Viceroy? The Viceroy? Yeah. They sound the same. Oh!

Speaker: Yeah, exactly. It's a little racist. It does sound like that. I am part of the Trade Federation. Shout out to Troy Bond has a really funny bit about that, actually. Very funny. About the Trade Federation?

Speaker: yeah About Star Wars being racist about like the Trade Federation. andnd and and du And like how Wado's a Jew. Oh, he definitely is. I didn't mind you. Big-ass nose.

Speaker: Yeah, get I'd see it. Yeah, i got a big-ass nose. What of it? Fucking Jew? I'm not. i'm not Also, we love our Jewish brethren. Shout out, Jake. We do. um Yeah, shout out, Jake.

Speaker: So his phone goes off while we're talking, and he's like, there's no phones, as you already mentioned. And then he basically is like, yeah, we just want to tell you we're off on the deal because you've been accused of some shady shit, so we're out. He's like, why the fuck did you come all the way here to tell me? Yeah, basically.

Speaker: After their meeting, Fox meets up with Bruce, and essentially they've set up like sonar with their phone. They're like, bats. Like a submarine, Mr. Wayne. Like a submarine. Bats use sonar?

Speaker: Rats. Yeah. Rats don't use sauna. Dolphins do. Dolphins rape people. Well, yeah, but they're cute. that's Fair enough. and If I'm going to get raped, I hope it's by a cute animal at least And they're slippery and wet.

Speaker: That's what I'm talking about, dude. If I'm getting raped by an animal, it better be a dolphin. Bro, you ever seen that stingray slit they got going on like as a cooter or whatever the fuck that is? I'm just saying, dolphin pussy looks fucking delicious.

Speaker: Ha ha ha ha!

Speaker: For any of you out there that haven't seen a dolphin pussy, literally Google dolphin pussy and i it'll change your life. but We can't put that in the intro, can we? just saying dolphin pussy looks delicious.

Speaker: We probably could ah fuck it. Towards the end? Towards the end of the intro, we definitely can, dude. Oh my god. I'm just saying, it looks more sexy than a human pussy, dude.

Speaker: It's so pink.

Speaker: Google it. I dare you. Fuck you. Absolutely not.

Speaker: ah I lost my spot again. I'm just saying. You'll be up in there and be like.

Speaker: We cut to a Batman who's on the roof of some tower drawn. um And he shoots some gel drawns onto this window that will are so like rigged to explode and like two and a half minutes or whatever.

Speaker: The building he's shooting at is like Lao's building, just so it makes sense. And the power in Lao's building goes out, and he jumps off this building and kind of glides in through the window.

Speaker: Do you remember the opening to ah Mask of the Phantasm? Yeah. This is very much Mask of the Phantasm. He breaks through a window.

Speaker: Fight some goons. Batman's always breaking through windows. No, but like the way this scene it works, if you did like a side-by-side of it with the but that opening scene, it's very, very, very... Yeah.

Speaker: Maybe it was planned. I feel like it was almost an homage. Probably. i mean I mean, granted, he's not he's not a sucking anybody out the building in Mask of the Phantasm, but it's... um He breaks through, and obviously people start shooting at him. He starts fucking up the security guards.

Speaker: I will say Christopher Nolan definitely did like his Batman homework. Sure. He's probably a fan, honestly. um

Speaker: Loud got a whole ass SWAT team, though. Well, yeah, he's a fucking you know crime boss. The whole police are there. Everyone's there. And he grabs Loud about to leave, and the SWAT are like, drop him, fucking leave him, and then the detonation happens, and a plane comes by and...

Speaker: It's like a cloud, like a balloon. Bye-bye balloon. Like a balloon. And he gets snatched right out of the building and they get with Lao. We cut to Lao, who has been left outside the MCU.

Speaker: And then we're... He's not playing Shang-Chi.

Speaker: right. Um... an interview with Lau and Rachel. And they just want to what money Where's the money? And Lau offers to give up all of his clients, but not the money.

Speaker: And at first, they don't get it. But they're like, oh, one big pot. What can you get them for a RICO case? Which is like one big criminal conspiracy. He knew. And he knew.

Speaker: so they're guilty, too. And he wants immunity and a chartered plane back to Hong Kong and exchange. And they decide they're going to hold him at the MCU. We cut back to that Eastern European mobster from the bad drug deal.

Speaker: And he's watching TV. And it's basically reporting that Lau has been brought back to the United States. um And he's like, Joker's right. We got to hire that dude. And as they're having that conversation, the police walk in and arrest them all.

Speaker: Fuck them. We cut to the courtroom and it's fucking chaos because they're trying to try like 500 people at once. yeah what What the fuck was the thought process there? Well, to be fair, Harvey gets fucking reamed after this about it. So it's... There's no point.

Speaker: You got fucking mobsters everywhere. Yeah, fucking... All right. Whoa. Yeah. We're going to cut that.

Speaker: ah The judge is reading the charges and whatnot and finds a joker card or paperwork and doesn't like say anything, just passes it along. Yeah, i mean, you know, judge, you probably should have done your research. Uh, cut to the mayor who was talking shit to dent for, he's like, what the fuck were you thinking?

Speaker: Um, and then explains that the high level guys will make it out on bail, but the mid and lower level guys will be stuck in jail. And, uh, somehow figures out that dent will have, or the mayor will have 18 months of clean streets.

Speaker: Like, how do you know that? Like, you don't. You don't. You're just making up false rule, like false, not accusations, but assumptions just to make yourself look good.

Speaker: You're theorizing. Yeah. Just to suck your own cock. I would suck Aaron Eckhart's cock. Yeah, probably. Especially after the incident.

Speaker: Probably stick your tongue inside of it on one side. you think it You think it's symmetrically burned all the way down? It's got to be, right? That's how much do he is in the comics. How much of a sack do you think got it?

Speaker: Oh, man. I hope it's just, like, fringed, you know? Yeah. I hope, like, well, you can live with one testicle, so he'd probably be all right. Right. Burn balls.

Speaker: Burn balls. It doesn't smell good. No.

Speaker: While they're speaking, um a jump scare of a fake Batman hanging is like dropped and smacks against the window outside. And there is a Joker card attached to him.

Speaker: Save that for later. And he's the the the dead Batman, fake Batman, has the Joker makeup on as well.

Speaker: We cut to Bruce and Alfred are watching the news of the Joker interviewing the fake Batman before he killed him. His name is Brian. And the Joker says, if Batman doesn't take his mask off and turn himself in, people will die every day, including today.

Speaker: um And then you get the the Joker laugh, which Heath Ledger does. That was horrible. That was fucking terrible. What the fuck was that? oh my God. No, that was bad. I want to hear that.

Speaker: ah If anything, if I cut it, it's going to be a soundbite still. I'm going to fucking save it and use it. Yeah, you try. Yeah. yeah Uh, we cut to the fundraiser that Bruce Wayne is throwing for a dent.

Speaker: Uh, and they're all there and Wayne arrives late in a helicopter with three hoes. Yup. He's just showing off. You think he fucks them and leaves like they're irrelevant. You'd paid them to be there.

Speaker: Dude. What is an Uber to fucking Bruce Wayne? You mean? An Uber? Yeah. Like if you have a girl. a girl comes over and he fucks her, it's like, I'll buy you a fucking car. You can take yourself yeah out of my just fucking get of my house.

Speaker: um I just want your fucking snatch. get That's it. Bruce Wayne's a piece of shit for that. but Bruce Wayne and Patrick Bateman, essentially the same person. Basically. Yeah. um And Wayne gives a speech, ah but Rachel knows because she's their best friend that he was like kind of making fun of Harvey, but it's, some of it seemed genuine.

Speaker: um Wayne and Rachel talk outside on the balcony and uh he's like yo know how you say we could be together when did wasn't Batman anymore it's like we're so close we got the we got the white knight oh we're so close I'm edging Batman uh we cut to Gordon gordon um

Speaker: who's told by Ramirez that there was DNA on the Joker that came from the commissioner. Uh, the judge hearing the case and Harvey's were all on that card.

Speaker: but So immediately Gordon goes to see the commissioner. Um, we see the cops, the, uh, pair of cops, give a judge an envelope with instructions to where she's going.

Speaker: Um, and then chaos starts to unfold. Uh, The commissioner drinks like fucking acid. Like dissolves his fucking... Dissolves his insides.

Speaker: It's like Gordon was like five seconds too late he already started drinking. um The judge opens the envelope in her car and it just says up and her car explodes.

Speaker: And then... ah

Speaker: At the party, Harvey decides to propose to Rachel, on the spot. i She's like, I don't know. He's like, well, let's be real. And she's like, no I don't really know. um As they're talking about that, the Joker and crew enter Wayne's party, his penthouse.

Speaker: um And we cut back to Dan, who's talking shit about Wayne. And because he's like, oh there's someone else. I'm going fucking Wayne. And then he actually knocks him out.

Speaker: And just like, what the fuck are doing? And he's like, they're here.

Speaker: He tries the Batman voice, but didn't really work. Yeah. They're here. um So they're there. Joker is looking for Dent. um And we see Wayne taking out some of the goons on his way to the as the couple who's fucking in his living room call it the panic room.

Speaker: That's fucked. Why are you fucking at someone else's house? Yeah. On someone else's couch, bro. Like, what are you going to do with your splooge? yeah you're going to bust all over Bruce Wayne's couch? Yeah, that's an expensive-ass couch.

Speaker: Yeah. Double fist my shaft, brother. Dude, I don't got a brother. Oh, brother. Milk me like an udder. ah Yeah, brother.

Speaker: Dude, there's no way anybody could double fist my shaft. It's so fucking small. I've got one on it. One and you're like, uh. You can't even see your little head.

Speaker: I got one little head. No, I got i got a decent-sized head. i am so like Big head, big bag, big backyard. I know we're recording, so we can keep this in, but there's got to be a time, right? How am I going to keep this in?

Speaker: There's no context. We're just start talking about it. We're talking about the movie, which all of a sudden. I know, but I'm just going to say this right now right here, right now. Right here, right now. Ghost shit. eventually, right?

Speaker: I think we should just show each other our penises in real life.

Speaker: I think we should just do Hard soft? Both. We'll start soft and then we'll jerk each other off.

Speaker: Dude, I couldn't show my hard wiener. Hard wiener is a no? i don't know if I can get hard and walk out and show you. I might get fucking stage fright. Stage fright.

Speaker: Yeah. Well, do honestly want you to look at the fucking mark that I have my balls. I have a mark. That's I'm saying. We got to do a bro like penis show off. What the?

Speaker: A penis show off?

Speaker: Are there judges? You know those ones like where you do like an event and they hold a car like out of 10? It's like 9. You gotta have those. Have like a runway. You walk your cock out. right yeah My sappy dragon on the floor is so big.

Speaker: I'm just so curious. About my cock? It's an Amazon remote. It's not gay if I want to see your cock, is it? No, it's not gay. It's moral support. That's saying. so We should just fucking do it one day.

Speaker: Full send it. It's not gay. I won't i won't touch it. want to send you a picture. I'll show it to you. I don't want to send you a picture. That's gay. That's out on the internet. Then you could save that. ah Yeah.

Speaker: It's like the money I was going to send you. I'll just bring it to you. Right. regard Exactly. I'd probably save it and put it as my contacts picture. Right. I don't.

Speaker: I'm reaching my car, texting you to my genitals. That's what I'm saying. That's fire. What if, what if in 80 years from now or like 120 years from now or something like far in the future, it's just normal contact pictures, genitals.

Speaker: That'd be weird. Yeah. and I mean, there's no more pictures of like faces. Just like your snatch is your profile picture. Right? Yeah. They don't even identify you by like fingerprints anymore. it's just your cock.

Speaker: In case what you're wondering, this is what I'm working with. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe. Who knows? I don't know. Here's my labia. All right. Maybe I'm gay. I don't know.

Speaker: Continue. Remember when everyone thought in the friend group that I would be the gay one? Yeah. Yeah. Might be me. I don't know. You can do the back half gay if you want. That's saying. Back half of my life?

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Switch it up. I'm not saying you're on the back half of your life. I'm just saying, I mean, it sounds like you're your whole butthole circumstances, but I might bleed to death one time when I poop. I don't know. Who knows?

Speaker: That's a scary thought. That's a prolapse. I can feel it. I can feel the blood. So I know it's a bad time. You better go, dude. Yeah. I think that should taken care of. You feel the liquidy. You know, you can, you can, you can tell the difference between liquidy poops and blood.

Speaker: I'm happy enough cause I've never had blood in my stool. it's good. You don't want to. It's a scary scary moment. You're living it every day. Not every day. Not every poop is bloody. just I'd say about 60% of my poops have blood in it.

Speaker: Yeah, you go my doctor. I'm coming. Looks like John Goodman. He's probably retired. old as fuck when he was my doctor. He's oh good he's probably retarded. No, he's probably retired.

Speaker: Retired. You're probably right. right um So the Joker, I think we're at the point where he's like in the room, in the party, and Rachel's like, he's fucking with some old guy. He's not fucking the old guy. He's fucking with him. That'd be crazy.

Speaker: He's torn with his top. You want to know how I got my ball hair trimmed?

Speaker: promo code Joker.

Speaker: ah But like, he's like an old man. He's like, you look like my father. I hated my father. And then Rachel's like, okay, i enough.

Speaker: All right. Yeah. Talk to the hand bitch. And then Joker goes over to her and asks the same scars question. And this story is like his wife had scars in her mouth. And she was a drinker or whatever.

Speaker: he wanted to show her. like It's like when you shave your head. if someone, you know, has cancer. Right. Like aren' they don't feel like they're left out. Not left out. That's fucked. But, you know, to make them feel better.

Speaker: Right, to feel better. Yeah, we want you to feel better, kid. So I'm going to cut my mouth. My mouth. I know you have scars, so I'm going to cut my nutsack open.

Speaker: I'm going to castrate myself.

Speaker: ah Rachel, like, kicks him or punches him or some shit, and he's like, I'll fight you. I ain't like that. Now take it out of my ball bag.

Speaker: Kick me right in my nuts. I like it when step on my balls with stilettos. And not Jared Leto. like I want you to stone To death.

Speaker: You see the show Roots? No. What?

Speaker: What? Roots?

Speaker: I want you to whip my nutsack like a slave. Dude, it'd be so funny if he was like, he's holding a knife to her mouth or whatever. want to know why got these scars? And she's like, no And he's like, you ever seen Grey's Anatomy?

Speaker: i was like Or he's like, you like jazz?

Speaker: Just so intimidating to like a fucking mundane like what? Yeah. ah He turns over here. He's fucking the sink. All right.

Speaker: um What's your go to at McDonald's?

Speaker: Yeah. just some Something fucking stupid. Do you like pineapple on your pizza? You ever wonder what the Big Mac sauce is?

Speaker: You ever wonder what the Big Mac sauce is? That's funny. Spoiler alert. It's mayonnaise and ketchup. It is more than that, but yeah. It's a base.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: all right. So Rachel kicks him somewhere or hits him and he's like, well, I'll fight you. I like that. And then Batman's like, you gotta love me. but That was pretty fucking good, dude.

Speaker: Bruce Wayne's just like was like teasing him. Dude, i it's bothered me to no extent. Bruce Wayne, Christian Bale, has too much teeth. He has too many in his mouth. It looks very crowded in there.

Speaker: When he talks, he's got ah like a lot of teeth in his mouth. Like Christian Bale in general? Yes. I feel like he's very crowded in there. I don't have his extra teeth, but he does have a lot of teeth.

Speaker: Maybe, maybe his, or maybe they're veneers.

Speaker: Who knows? um He fights some of these henchmen that are at the party. And then ah the Joker grabs Rachel and he's like, let her go.

Speaker: And she's like, he's like, oh, poor choice of words. And he drops her. This is probably one of the worst parts of the movie, I would say, because he catches her and they just land on a car and they're just fine. Yeah, I thought he was going to like grappling hook or something or yeah use his little cape as like a floater.

Speaker: My fucking cape. Yeah. At least use fucking Mrs. Incredible's ass to do something to parachute down. Uh, we cut to Gordy being told by one of the detectives, the trial is off. There was scared shitless.

Speaker: Uh, but that walks in and hands allow a bulletproof vest and says they're transferring. Wow. Uh, we cut to Alfred and Bruce and Alfred to the mob, uh, was desperate because you kicked them where it hurt, uh, in their pockets.

Speaker: Uh, and they turned to a man. Don't understand. In the Joker. And we hear the story about Burma with the bandit who was stealing rubies.

Speaker: And they were trying to figure out why he was stealing the rubies. um And one day Alfred saw a kid playing with ruby the size of a tangerine. That's a big ass ruby, dude.

Speaker: That's probably worth like millions. Some money. Yeah. Tangerine. You're like, what's your favorite orange variety? Yeah.

Speaker: I'm a halo man. That's not a variety. No, I think it's a tangerine. Isn't it? I think so. I would prefer a tangerine over an orange. I would say. Yeah. Cause they're like smaller. What beats an orange slice?

Speaker: You know what mean? Who is peeling an orange and eating it like the segments? Are you a psychopath? Give me an orange slice. You think? How do you an orange?

Speaker: You know, peel it. Yeah. And you know how they're like little, Oh, you're already wrong. Okay. Okay. little jauns, you know? Yeah. And you just take a segment, eat it. Yeah.

Speaker: What do you do? Bite into it like an apple? No. So the the orange, I yeah slice it like this. Okay. You have rounds and then you can cut a little slit in the round and you get like, you open up and you just like a watermelon.

Speaker: Yeah. It's delicious. It's the best way to eat an orange. Yeah. I think that's the culinary thing in you. I did not learn that in culinary school. I learned that when I got slices of oranges at at like football games in middle school.

Speaker: Or like soccer. That's interesting. orange slices a thing. Sports kids will get it. I've never ah never heard of it like that. I what you're going to say. I did a sport. Bowling's not a sport.

Speaker: Oh, is that mean? I'm sorry. That hurts. It was a varsity. ah was varsity. You were varsity. You're right. Credit to you. Thanks, man. Shout out to Aja if you're listening.

Speaker: yeah Actually, she does listen. to my mom She does. That's fire. Thank you. mom she listens We appreciate you. Come on the podcast. ah Alfred tells Bruce that some people just want to watch the world burn and they can't be reasoned with.

Speaker: And maybe the Joker is one of those dudes. um We cut to Batman who's sitting on a ledge. He's listening to like the Joker's voice, which gives an address.

Speaker: And they pull up and find... Pull up! Slaughter the cops! there's two There are two dead cops by the name of Richard Dent and Patrick Harvey.

Speaker: Harvey Dent. We get it. Our back. Get it. Um, the cops are right there when Batman shows up and he asked for 10 minutes with the scene before it gets contaminated. Give me 10 minutes.

Speaker: I'm going to jerk off around the bodies. Right. Um, and he does, he there's a hole, bullet hole in the wall and he cuts around it and takes it out.

Speaker: I'm going to go fuck this later.

Speaker: yeah. Gordon's like, uh, we don't doing ballistics. No, looking for fingerprints. Yeah. Not my my dick. All right. It would be funny, but I'm going to fuck this in the corner later.

Speaker: I love fucking concrete.

Speaker: You're a fuck sandpaper, Gordon.

Speaker: um The next... um They find a newspaper that's hinting at the mayor as being the next target. We cut to Bruce, who's doing research on this bullet.

Speaker: I'll be honest with I have no idea what they did to figure out how. Why was the gun shooting bullets for? I think they were trying to find the same ballistic like caliber, maybe?

Speaker: Maybe the caliber. Yeah, neither do I. sure looks cool. If you know why, how they piece this together, let us know. um We cut to Mr. Reese who's telling Fox the books don't make sense now. And he thinks that they're funding the Batman.

Speaker: he goes, I want $10 million dollars for the rest of my life. And Fox is like, let me get this straight. You think that one of the most powerful people on this planet – Is also a vigilante at night who goes out and beats criminals to a pulp.

Speaker: And you think blackmailing him a good idea? He's like, yeah. um Next scene, they're holding a parade.

Speaker: Why is it a fucking parade? Every time Batman

Speaker: captures a bad guy, I gain a freckle.

Speaker: So they're holding this parade and it's high security. Uh, and Alfred tells, uh, Bruce, a possible address of an apartment where the Joker could be doing some fuck shit.

Speaker: Um, we cut to the cops who are on comms talking to Gordon saying there's too many windows. You fucking idiots. Um, and then the mayor thousands.

Speaker: Yeah. The mayor starts speaking. ah Bruce finds a bunch of men tied up How you darned? Nothing new for Bruce.

Speaker: And he pulls the tape off one of their mouths. like

Speaker: and really And Bruce ah is like, what happened? And they like, they took our uniforms. Kinky. And he sees in the window there's like a timer and there's a telescope.

Speaker: There you go. but It's not a gun. but it's a telescope. Yeah. Yeah, it's a telescope. You looked at me. Fucking freaks looking at the stars. can youd be You'd be slipping. I know. You'd be very close to s slipping today, dude.

Speaker: um Slip my tip in you. So the color guard. What was the plan here for the color guard to like shoot off rounds at the building? their I thought.

Speaker: don't know. Why are we shooting? Cause they aim, they aim at the building first to shoot. Well, I think it's, uh, and then they turn forward and they fire at the mayor. Well, I guess you're supposed to be, I i suppose you're right. Yeah.

Speaker: Um, but as they go to shoot the mayor, uh, Gordon jumps in front of push him out of the way and air quote dies. um, Dent finds an ambulance with one David Desmalchian.

Speaker: That is the Joker thug narcotic schizophrenic. A little goth boy. It is funny because it's like literally the middle of the day when this happens and he takes the ambulance and drives off and then we don't cut back to him until like nighttime. So it's like, what are even doing all this time?

Speaker: Fucking him. ah Yeah. Right. Right. It's gotta We see the detectives and Batman kind of sit and perched off the side tell Barbara Gordon, her husband's dead. Um...

Speaker: Cops have the bat signal out, but no, he's not coming. We cut to... Oh, I corrected it. Maroney in a club. why this like like this c plumid yeah And And this lady next to him is like, let's go talk somewhere. He's like, what makes you think I want to hear you talk?

Speaker: And she's like, what? That's like the most like mob guy thing to say ever. Like, I'm just yeah just here because you're nice piece of ass. Because you got those ah milkers.

Speaker: Yeah. I've never sucked a black tit. I'm just saying. I just want to experiment. I would be game. I've never sucked a black tit. I've i'm never sucked a Chinese tit. I've never sucked an Asian tit. Nah, I've never done Asian either. Or an Easter year. I've only sucked white titty.

Speaker: No Hispanic titty for you? My mom's tits and white girl tits. Huh. Yeah. Yeah. Now you guys know. This is our time. um Batman shows up and starts beating the shit out of security.

Speaker: And there's a cut to Rachel, who's at like the MCU. ah And Harvey calls, and he's like, you're not safe anywhere. The Joker's named you next. And she's like, the only safe place we can go is Bruce's. And he's like, why fucking Bruce? And she's like, dude, Bruce is the safest spot.

Speaker: He's Batman. Yeah, Bruce is Batman. Harv. carve We cut back to Batman who has Maroney on a roof. And Maroney's like, well, if you drop me from here, it's not going to kill me. So what are we doing? He goes, yeah I'm counting on that.

Speaker: And he drops him. Snaps his legs. Right. And Maroney says that everyone's wise to Batman's deal that he don't kill. So he's better make his fucking mind what he wants to with his life.

Speaker: Valley. We cut to Dent who with that cop, David Dasmalchian in an alleyway. It's now night, nighttime. And I guess he's just been fucking railing them. I mean, what is he, what were they doing this whole time?

Speaker: I don't know. I, you know what I was thinking? I was like, it's like that scene from GTA five where Trevor like puts the battery on the guy's nutsack.

Speaker: That does sound vaguely familiar. Actually. like Also, Kane did it to Shane McMahon. So there's that too. did see a clip of that on TikTok. And fuck you, TikTok. Flaming that go on the internet. And our clips can't go on the internet. What the fuck is that?

Speaker: the fuck's wrong with you? um So, Denton is trying to get information out of this cop who is not actually a cop. He's a schizophrenic. And he holds a gun to his head and he goes, you think I wouldn't do it? You think I wouldn't do it? And then he pulls away and goes, I want to do it. and it's like...

Speaker: Yeah, so you're an elected official. Obviously, you're not going fucking do it. And he flips a coin to see they should shoot him or not. And I believe Batman catches the coin and says, the guy's real name is Thomas Schiff.

Speaker: He's not going to tell you shit. um And he told re he tells Dent that Dent is the only ray of light Gotham's had in decades. And if he killed him, it would undo everything all the work they've already done.

Speaker: I'm sick and tired of doing everything for all you people. Foreshadowing. Um, and it does tell dent to hold a press conference because enough people have died because of him. Uh, and this is not a Harry Potter thing where it's like enough people have died because of me. Like this is like, like he's actually right.

Speaker: Right. Like Batman is squarely why people are dying now. And that's not good. Right. Um, We cut to the penthouse where Rachel's already there and Bruce walks in and she says she knows that he's going to turn himself in.

Speaker: um

Speaker: And he says that to beat the Joker, to win, he'd have to commit murder, essentially. doesn't say that, but he does say it. um And he also like just really wants to be with Rachel. And he's like, let's let Harvey Dent take care of this. I'll be dumb at Batman. You and I can go run off.

Speaker: You know, I'll fucking have servants like rub you in oil or whatever. Right. Nice. Have a Diddy party. Right. And no. And then they and then they kiss, which is like race was playing the two of these men, bro.

Speaker: Like you just cheated on Harvey. Right. um But Bruce is going through with this. The next scene, they shut down the bat room cave.

Speaker: ah They burn all kind of paperwork. um And al he asked Alfred what he thinks he should do. And Alfred says that ah the Batman, the symbol of Batman, can endure That's what he should do.

Speaker: um BS. And then as they're walking out, the funny joke was, are going to put me away as an accomplice? Like Alfred is asking Bruce. And Bruce is like, I'm going to tell him was your idea.

Speaker: That shit always makes me chuckle. um We cut to the press conference where all the citizens are pretty riled up because the killings. um And Harvey Dent ah says he's the Batman.

Speaker: Bruce is there and just doesn't do anything. Well, he gets he's like kind of confused, though. He's like, the fuck are you doing? Yeah. But he could have done more. um And to that point, Rachel's watching from the penthouse and is like tells out for like, what the fuck, man?

Speaker: It's being an asshole um and not being very heroic. And then she gives and a note to Alfred to give to Bruce the time is right. And what if I burnt that letter?

Speaker: That's the next movie. Sorry. um We cut to Rachel visiting Den who's being escorted into a SWAT car. um And he's like, yep, this is the play.

Speaker: I'm going to be a diversion. going be bait for the Joker. Bait! And then ah Batman is going to come save me, obviously. Duh. We cut to, i don't really know why they had this scene in the movie, but there's a truck parked.

Speaker: And the cop's like, you got to wait like everybody else, pal. And the Joker just shoots him. you I don't know. okay Just to show him how he got the truck? just Just so you know that the Joker's in a truck. I don't know.

Speaker: With Dent being transferred, and there there's a whole caravan moving through the city. Uh, and they get diverted from the upper level to the lower level because there's a fire truck on fire.

Speaker: Ironic. That's kind of counterintuitive. Hmm. Uh, while they're driving, cause now they have no air support. So while they're driving, uh, I thought you were, you're like, I thought you were frozen, but you're not.

Speaker: Well, half the time I feel like I'm not, I've, I and don't think I'm on your screen. Now I have 50, 50. Ooh. Um,

Speaker: um So they're driving, and ah this dump truck shows out of nowhere and starts knocking out all these cop patrol cars. And not a thick Latina ass, a quite literal dump truck.

Speaker: Right. A literal dump truck. Got the dumpy. um It gets right behind the SWAT car, and then a truck that's labeled, it says laughter, and they spray-painted on it, so it says slaughter.

Speaker: ha! Murder. Get it? It's funny. um And this this truck pulls up right next to the SWAT car and the door opens, the side door, and it's Joker and it starts shooting at the armored truck that Dent is in. And the cop inside tells Dent, oh, he's going to need like a bazooka.

Speaker: And he pulls out like an RPG. Yeah. He's like, and is that a bazooka? um And he blows It's rocket propelled grenade. He blows up to the cop cars. He's about to shoot the SWAT car when the Batmobile, we calling it that? The Bat tank?

Speaker: The Bat wing? It is a very strange looking. like it. No, it's iconic, but it's like a Tumblr. Isn't that what it's called? Tumblr?

Speaker: I think it's called a Tumblr, yeah. what do you What's your favorite one? You got got Keaton. you got We have to include Adam West. Yeah, that's just a fucking drop top.

Speaker: That's a classic car. yeah You got Robert Pattinson's, which was just a car. Yeah. ah And then I think they used the same car for like Val Kilmer's film and George Clooney's film. i think it was all the same car.

Speaker: And you got Ben Affleck's. um you remember what Ben Affleck's looked like. right so he's out. It wasn't my favorite one anyways. Okay. Yeah.

Speaker: It's hard. because it's not It's definitely between... I'm hard. Thank you. It's definitely between Keaton and this one. I think it's my favorite. This one? Yeah. I love this one.

Speaker: It has a lot more gadgets. I would agree with that. Keaton's is iconic, though. kind of Very iconic. It kind looks like long black cock, though. so It looks like a long John Silver.

Speaker: It does. I'll go with this one. Because it's more... Like this shit turns into a fucking motorcycle. That's sick.

Speaker: Right. That is cool. So we'll go. Yeah, I'll go this one. Yeah. So Batman fucks up. ah I think I misspoke. He fucks up the dump truck first. And then Joker is about to shoot the RPG at the truck. And he blocks it with the Batmobile and goes crashing into by a bunch of like homeless people, I think.

Speaker: And the Batmobile is fucked up. Right. And I don't know what happened, but the next scene is the Joker taking the wheel of the big big truck, the laughter, the big rig I wrote down.

Speaker: What's your mouth? Is big rig racist?

Speaker: No.

Speaker: I get it now. Yeah, that one. b Bleep that. um They finally get out from underneath the lower level. They're about out on the street. um And we see the Batmobile eject that motorcycle, the motorbike.

Speaker: I like it when you eject on What do you call it when a lesbian rides a motorcycle? A motor dyke. There you go, ah ladies and gentlemen. um I'm probably going to cut that. Ball head.

Speaker: they They finally get some pussy lip.

Speaker: What's that from? Ball head. Ball head. That pussy lip. That pussy lip. ah Just one. Maybe two. They're fucking missized. One's bigger than the other. yeah.

Speaker: Fat pussy. but That how I love my bitches. Ball hair. Ball hair.

Speaker: Fat pussy lip.

Speaker: oh I love one fat, one skinny. Love me a thick bit.

Speaker: um Let me see them pussy lip.

Speaker: like Just the one? Yeah. Hey, yo, boy, hey! Let see how put a little... Hey, let me suck on that pussy little.

Speaker: no

Speaker: Yeah. All right. yll That was a lot. i That whole thing was just a was it's just a big rut row. ratt know She got a bald head.

Speaker: Bald hair. Pussy lip.

Speaker: That be a sound, right? Bald head pussy lip? Bald hair pussy lip. Were you saying just to clarify bald head were you saying bald hair? bald head. i heard bald head, but it kind of... We say it too many times, just like, bald hair!

Speaker: Plus a little... Like a pussy lick almost, right? but But yeah. Okay, it's just not. It's like your Danny Towers. Yeah.

Speaker: Danny Tower, Tilted Towers. ah o That's literally Danny Towers. Yeah, Danny, tell me how you feel, pussy lick.

Speaker: yeah You got a ball hit. Fat pussy in a lip.

Speaker: Why is that funny? Because, I don't know. It's so stupid. It really is stupid. Unrelated, I just looked over. I'm out of space on my shelf for steelbooks. I have no more space.

Speaker: That's a fucking shame. Yeah, I'm out. It's sham. All right. So I think we're only like halfway through the movie. I think we're more than half. I think we're more close. No, we're not.

Speaker: We are two hours into this episode. Yeah. Yeah. So the air cav, the helicopters are ready to like support when they the these goons shoot some wires from building the building that get the helicopters tangled or one of them. We only see one crash. There's only one that crashes actually.

Speaker: um Batman is in pursuit on the motorbike. Bike? You see the kids like shooting the fake guns and like things actually blow up because he blows his shit up.

Speaker: i would I would lose my shit if I was a kid. be fires That's fucking Batman right there, bro. um he cut that wrong He cuts through a mall. That's crazy.

Speaker: That was cool. I actually think I'd enjoy that. Driving through a mall like that. but Probably. ah He's then head-to-head with the truck, the slaughter truck.

Speaker: And he's able to like latch it to a lamp, a light post, the ground. I don't know. right And the truck inverts and flips over. Does a 180. Joker's like inside.

Speaker: And then he rolls out of the truck and has the the famous, hit me, hit me.

Speaker: and he and And Bruce is like, hey that was pretty good. He kind of crashes. Um, and the Joker tries to have a henchman take his mask off. but There's like a little shock.

Speaker: Bruce, we're in a shock collar. Hey, that's kinky, man. Um, and he gets electricity. Oh, higher and then, uh, the SWAT member,

Speaker: show he's the SWAT member this whole time has been the driver and the whole, this whole like scenario or it's scene, the guy who's not driving, keeps talking to him. He just doesn't speak. He's just taught. He's just like saying, that's not good.

Speaker: Air cab. Hell yeah. Is that a bazooka? And the the driver's just not speaking, which is odd. Very odd. Cause when I first saw it, I was like, that like Joker's guy?

Speaker: um Well, the SWAT member gets out of a car and holds a shotgun to fucking Joker's head. And it's Gordon. He ain't dead. Gordon's back. Trust the Gordon's fisherman.

Speaker: Son of a bitch. um We cut to yeah Harvey, on who gets ah escorted to go see Rachel. He said he was going to see a very angry girlfriend.

Speaker: ah We cut to Joker who is being held in the MCU. He has no fingerprints, no name. And Gordon walks in and gets promoted to commissioner. He's now Commissioner Gordon. Whoa.

Speaker: And he goes home to see his wife who slaps him across the face. You know, she should, right? Didn't even tell his wife that he was alive. Fake my death.

Speaker: He sees his son and his son's like, did Batman save you? he's like, no, I saved him. Kinda. I don't believe that. Batman have got up. Yeah, i don't really believe that shit, honestly. i want one fight and Joker versus Batman is not really a fight.

Speaker: No. But Joker might have guns. You're talking fisticuffs? Yeah, but please he's got some armor on. What's fist-a-cuffs? talking about? Fucking fist-fighting. I'll fucking fuck you. What? I'll fist-fuck you.

Speaker: i if I'm going to go like this, and then you sit right on it. that's That's fine. That's foul. As long as you keep it sturdy. I'll go like this. I need a real sturdy base. I need a sturdy bottom.

Speaker: You ever see those videos of the girls like... I'm a flimsy top.

Speaker: ball hair da You ever see those girls that like fuck their bedposts? What? What you watching? No. It just pops up sometimes.

Speaker: They're fucking their bedpost? Yes. But don't the bedpost, it's not like a just a straight like pool cue type. It has like a bulb or like an end to it. That's what I'm saying. They sit on it. They fuck it.

Speaker: Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. no no no promise I promise. Okay, I don't like that. Um, we come back to the MCU, uh, not the Marvel cinematic universe, the police station in this movie, uh, or they throw a fat guy into the holding cell with Joker. And he says he don't feel good. His insides hurt.

Speaker: Um, Gordon, got oh shit Gordon gets a phone call and we don't know what is said in the phone call, but he, we follow him back to the MCU for an interrogation with the Joker,

Speaker: we find out that Dent never made it home. of a bitch. Joker's like, I don't know what want from me. i was arrested the whole time. He's like, what'd your men do?

Speaker: I was here. Um, and he's like, all right, I'll get a coffee. And he leaves. And, uh, it is set up very cool. Like the production design of it. Cause you can see behind Joker.

Speaker: There's a little, there's a little lamp. You can barely kind of their faces and the lights turn on. There go Batman who is staying behind him and smashes his head into the table. Like, uh, long legs.

Speaker: Yeah, I was going to say talk to me, but long legs, yeah. Talk to me. all right. That from Nosferatu. It's a bomb. um It's okay. Yeah, it's okay. um Batman sits down at the interrogation table. and He's like, here I am.

Speaker: What do you want? Why do you want to kill me? why do you want to kill me Kill you? And he's like, and he's decided... don't to He does have a change of heart. He was i don't want to kill you. now Like, now he doesn't want kill him. Now he's like, it's too much fun.

Speaker: um And then Batman's like, you're garbage. And he's like, don't say that. He's like, you're not one of them. You're like me. um And...

Speaker: They're talking and Joker, because it's a missing person case, right? And then Joker kind of slips into them and he goes, them? What the fuck are you talking about? Where is she? That's the big fucking famous line.

Speaker: um And Joker reveals that he thought honestly that Denton was Batman because of the way he threw himself at Rachel. Um, and, uh, Batman starts beating the shit out of him, but Joker kind just laughs in the face because he's like, you can't make me tell you anything cause because you have nothing to threaten me with.

Speaker: Because he won't kill. He won't. Pussy. Ball of hair.

Speaker: Uh, Hey, Batman. He's like, all right, I'll i'll tell you. Ball hair. Man, pussy lit girls. Um, he gives them both addresses and, uh,

Speaker: Batman leaves the interrogation room and tells Dent. He tells Goran that he's going after Rachel. Which one are you going after, Rachel? And Dent wakes up tied to a chair um that is surrounded by explosives.

Speaker: And he he can hear Rachel over radio yelling for help. And she's also tied up the same way. Not the same building. How you doing? um we cut back to the MCU where the Joker is in the interrogation room still asking for his phone call.

Speaker: I just want my phone call. He's like, how many of your friends have I killed? ah And the fat guy is still young, but his insides hurt. And then passes out and they call for a medic.

Speaker: Rachel tells Harvey ah that they said to her only one of them will survive. And they're making their friends choose. But Dent's like, it'll be all right. It'll be okay.

Speaker: um They're going to save They're going to save you, not me.

Speaker: We cut back to Joker who's telling the same cop that he likes to use a knife because in the final moments of somebody's life, you see who they really are and you can kind of enjoy it more, according to him.

Speaker: You know, I get it. And because of that theory, he claims to know the cop's friends better than he did and offers to tell him which of his friends were cowards. Fire. He didn't like that very much.

Speaker: So you see him kind of roll his sleeves, but the next scene is Joker walking out with like a shard of glass this guy's throat. And he's like, I just want my phone call. That's want. My phone call.

Speaker: I just want a phone call. The fat guy has the phone Joker's calling inside of his stomach. Like on some saw shit. Right. ah The whole MCU blows up.

Speaker: Batman arrives to the address Joker game for Rachel, but he finds Dent. um And Dent is pissed. ah Rachel's trying to tell Harvey that she loves him and wants to marry him.

Speaker: um But he gets escorted out. And then ah as the cops arrive, that building blows up and Rachel dies. RIP reach. We see Harvey getting dragged out and half of his face burns in the explosion.

Speaker: Man. We, uh, we see, ah Joker in the MCU who makes some eye contact with Lau. And he's like, how you doing?

Speaker: Um, I'm going to fucking shmur you. Uh, we cut to Gordon who finds out about, uh, the MCU being blown up. he goes, it was all a fucking trap.

Speaker: No trap. Um, um Alfred reads Rachel's letter to Bruce, which basically says she's going to marry Harvey because she loves him. And she says that you will always need Batman more. Um, but I hope one day you're able to give it up.

Speaker: Um, except in the end of the next movie.

Speaker: The next, well, he does give it up for several years after this movie, I believe.

Speaker: I haven't seen Like a Recluse, The Dark Knight Rises. No, I've seen it once. Literally once. Oh, we should do that movie. we should We should release the whole fucking series. The whole series.

Speaker: It's three movies. all right. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. Is that what you said? It's three films. You want to the MCU. It's like fucking 48 films.

Speaker: Yeah. You said Harry Potter eight. Eight. I'm going to splooge. Alfred serves Bruce breakfast, which has the letter from Rachel on it, but Bruce is down bad.

Speaker: Um, he feels bad. He thinks it's all his fault. And, uh, he's like, Rachel's going to be with me, Alfred. And Alfred takes the letter goes what's that? He's like, nothing. It's all right. I'll save it for later. I'll burn it.

Speaker: Cause he does burn it. Um, Bruce says how he was meant to aspire good, not this chaos. And Alfred's kind of like, well, what'd you expect, bro? Um, and then asked him how they caught the bandit in Burma.

Speaker: And Alfred's like, we burnt the forest down. ah We cut to Dent who awakens in the hospital and remembers his situation that Reese got blown to fucking bits.

Speaker: And you kind of see him scream in pain, sorrow, but it's like the sounds cut out. ah We cut to the news talking with fucking what's his name? Reese from Wayne Enterprises on a talk show and he claims no Batman's true identity.

Speaker: Bruce is like, oh, Gordon visits Dent, and we find out that Dent's not agreeing to take any kind of meds or skin grafts. um And he tries to apologize to Dent, but he's like you're fucking sorry.

Speaker: And asks about, again, about his nickname in the MCU, which was Two-Face. His name was Two-Face. Dun, dun, dun. Spoiler. um And Gordon is trying to know who picked up Dent, but we never find out here.

Speaker: Would you get? Oh, but yeah but ah Ramirez got it. We do. Right. We do get a reveal of his face here, which his face does look good.

Speaker: It does for 2008. CGI is pretty decent. Gordon leaves Dent's hospital room and sees Maloney. Maloney is their street they used to live on. Maroney.

Speaker: Baloney. ah And Maroney said, um if this is too much. I'll tell you where Joker is going to be. We cut to a warehouse that has a fat stack of cash with flowers sitting atop.

Speaker: Big wheelies, a mountain. And um we're there with the Joker and the Eastern European mobster. And the Joker tells him that he's a simple man and that he likes dynamite and gasoline because they're cheap.

Speaker: And they start dumping gasoline on this cash. And he goes, i'm only burning my calf. But my calf, my half. yeah I'm only going to burn the hairs off my left calf. Off my left shaft.

Speaker: And he says that the town deserves a better class of criminal. um And then he threatens to feed this guy to his pooches. That's pretty fucked. It's like, how about we feed you to your pooches piece by piece?

Speaker: Uh, let me feed those fat pussy lips. The Joker calls into this show and says, if Coleman Reese isn't dead in 60 minutes, he'll blow up a hospital.

Speaker: Um, So obviously the reaction to that, Alfred researches officers that have family members in hospitals. Um, they start evacuating Gotham general, uh, and they, the two cops guarding dense room, one leaves to go find a bus for dent and the hospital is absolute chaos. They portray this chaos very, very well.

Speaker: Um,

Speaker: So we see Gordon escorting Reese in a and a car with some other police officers. We see the hospital getting escorted. And then a cop that was watching Dentrum finds a bus. he's like, yo, Jones or what Davis, I think.

Speaker: Davis. i got I got a bus. doesn't answer. He's like, da it Davis, Davis. We find out that a list of officers who have family in the hospitals, and it turns out one of them is in the car with Gordon and Reese. So Wayne texts Gordon.

Speaker: Berg, I believe. um So you think he's texting him as Batman? It's just, it comes up as like a random number. ah Yeah. Just digits.

Speaker: You think that's crazy? Yeah. Gordon has him like in his phone though. Like Batman. Maybe. possible. Um,

Speaker: The cop that was looking for his partner goes back inside and Joker shoots him with a silencer and he's dressed up as a nurse. Well, cosplay action. Well, hot. Yeah. yeah Um, so as I just said, there's a cop in the car with Gordon and Reese that has family member in the hospital.

Speaker: Um, And then ah Joker is in the hospital room with Harvey and Harvey obviously wants to kill him. This is probably the weakest part of the movie is the way that Joker tries to convince Harvey that he's not at fault when he very much so is.

Speaker: Yeah, it's pretty. ah What's the word I'm looking for? i mean, eric I mean, the mob could have done it because he put away all those people. But even Maroney was like, this is too much.

Speaker: Yeah. What the Joker is doing. like so like, did he do it? um And all he's he basically is like, all those people are schemers. And I'm not, as do I sound like a guy with a plan to you?

Speaker: And Dent's like, you don't have a plan. So I'm going to believe you. And they do a heads or tails. And he offers, if, you know, if he gets whatever, he can fucking kill him.

Speaker: And the coin lands and they make eye contact. Then it cuts. You don't know if Dent fucking shoots him or not. But obviously you can imagine there's like, at this point, still 40 minutes off the movie. They didn't fucking kill him yet. Um, Bruce Wayne is out in a car, not like as Batman. And he sees a truck that's kind of waiting to ram, uh, Reese's police escort.

Speaker: Um, and when the light turns green, Bruce jumps the light to block the oncoming traffic. And all this kind of happens at once that happens. And then the cop tries to shoot,

Speaker: ah Reese and Gordon blocks it. And then when Wayne gets out the car, Gordon's like, huh, Bruce Wayne. ah He's like, that was very heroic. He's like, I was just trying to catch the light. He acts aloof.

Speaker: And then he's like, should go to hospital? You don't watch the news very often, do you, Mr. Wayne? No, which is kind of crazy. He just fucking destroyed a Lamborghini for, you know, mean, he's rich though. He got money.

Speaker: I guess unlimited money. Yeah. Trust fund, baby. Um... Nah, he's got Wayne Enterprises. He got money, money. Uh, we cut to a news reporter.

Speaker: Did i I... don't think I actually wrote it down. The Joker does blow up the hospital. Hospital. It's very iconic scene. Very iconic scene. Um... And Dent is MIA.

Speaker: We cut to a news reporter who is being held hostage. Um... And he's reading Joker's words like some shit. And something about there's an allusion to the bridges and tunnels being rigged with like bombs or whatever.

Speaker: he So like, yeah, we'll take the ferries. And obviously Joker knows that. Fox responds to a break-in in the R&D department. And Bruce has set up that sonar system large scale.

Speaker: We cut to Officer Wurtz. and there's like really chaos going on in all of Gotham. He's like, it's my day off. he sitting there having a drink.

Speaker: Like when Dent shows up and he wants to know who picks up Rachel. um And he flips a coin to see if the cop's going to live. And he gets fucking smurder inked because the cop was like, I didn't know what was going to happen to you guys.

Speaker: cat uh we cut to ah the sonar setup and fox said it's unethical and that uh as long as that wayne enterprises and is operating he will not be working there anymore uh and bat batman tells him that uh type your name when you're done you're the only person that can use it um and fox does agree to help him this one time uh

Speaker: Uh, we cut to Gordon, who's talking to the mayor and he wants to move the criminals off Gotham, which is like an island, I guess, onto a ferry because he thinks the Joker's going to try to like jailbreak them.

Speaker: Like what happened in the first movie. Would they be an Arkham asylum? Yeah, they do mention Arkham in the movie. Yeah, it'd be Arkham. Yeah. um Maroney, we cut to Maroney getting his car and Dent's already inside the car.

Speaker: And he does tell Maroney, Maroney tells Dent the dirty cop was Ramirez. Whoa. Which, which who's been the lady cop who's been like at Gordon's hip the entire movie.

Speaker: Right. So even Gordon's like oblivious. He flips his coin and, uh, Maroney survives, but he decides to shoot the driver and they crash. Imagine being that petty just going to take a car crash. Like Dent's in the car.

Speaker: Right. he's like He's like, oh, the other guy's dead. He's like, who's the other guy? Your driver. We cut to people being escorted on ferries.

Speaker: The first two start to sail off. ah One is filled with civilians. The other with convicts. And the power goes off on both, and they both find boats rigged with explosives along with the detonator.

Speaker: The Joker comes on over the PA systems and is like, you have to tell Midnight blow over to blow up one of the boats. And if neither of you do it, I'll blow up both y'all. If you try to swim away, I'll blow you up.

Speaker: um You're not getting out of this one a lie. Fox is able to locate the Joker and tells... Batman where he's at. And Batman forwards that information to Gordon.

Speaker: um We cut to Dent with Maria. um Huh? You got it. Dent is with Ramirez. ah And they call Barbara and Barbara Gordon and tell Barbara to bring her wife and kids to where they're at because it's not safe.

Speaker: um The Joker is up in this building that's all windows. I'm like, huh, we can just shoot him over here. It's easy. um Because all they can see in the distance is masked henchmen.

Speaker: um Don't do that. Please don't do that, cops. The civilian boat ah decide to take a vote on yay or nay on blowing their boat. Smart.

Speaker: Batman arrives on the adjacent rooftop where the cops are at. And he's like, I need five minutes with Joker alone before you guys go in there. And Goren's like, he's like, absolutely not. I have to save dent.

Speaker: I'll stroke him to completion. He thinks dent's in there. And Batman doesn't say, listen to him being like, no, no, no. And then when he leaves, Goren's like two minutes.

Speaker: Then we breach. um So Batman breaches by himself and he tackles a hostage, a henchman, which is a hostage. um And this is pretty fucking stupid because like the whole scene after it's like the the the cops, the SWAT team can walk in and be like, oh, they're hostages.

Speaker: Or Batman like, they're hostages. Right. And instead he just fights them all. Does it look cool? Fuck yeah. Sure. That's probably well why. Why? Um, Jim gets a call from his wife and she's with Harvey and he's like, what have you done?

Speaker: He's like, I'm where my family died. Um, Batman notices sniper's ready to fucking smurder ring some of these hostages and he like kind of pulls them out of the way. the SWAT breaches the building and we kind of see Batman take on both the SWAT team and actual henchmen.

Speaker: Um, I'm fighting the cops. The civilian boat, ah The vote ends up being to blow up the other boat, which is a mouthful to say. um But the boat worker that goes to grab the detonator is like, well, we're still here and they haven't blown us up yet.

Speaker: So then it cuts. um The SWAT team has completely surrounded Batman and there's helicopter with like a spotlight on him. And for some reason, all these guys are linked together with like rope.

Speaker: Uh, and Batman did it. Oh, did he? Yeah. I thought he was just fighting them. he was like shooting like lines. Oh, uh, and he kicks them like off the edge of the, of the roof and they all like, it's like a jar monkeys.

Speaker: Like the fucking. Yeah, those. yeah Yeah, I do. Those red thong, the red things. John's. Yeah. And they, I call all kind of Hank from the ledge. Um, um He makes it up to the Joker is.

Speaker: The Joker has three dogs. He fucking yeets one off the off the edge. Again, Batman with dogs. He's able to fight them off, but he gets tangled in a net. He's getting beat with Joker's rod.

Speaker: That's what I'm fucking talking question is to you, is Joker putting the white makeup on his cock, too? That's a good question. Maybe, right? White...

Speaker: white makeup on the on the head and then the little opening is a little red makeup for like the mouth. Have you seen that thing that's gone like not viral but it's been around?

Speaker: The plane that has the Joker Heath Ledger face on the top of it? Yeah. That's what I picture for his penis. It's gotta be, right? Yeah. It's gotta be Kane. It's gotta to be Kane.

Speaker: yeah We say that so much you gotta pull that clip. It's gotta be Kane. I did. it's in it's in the It's in a clip already. Oh. Yeah. The one about ah when I said J.R. or something or other and fucked up. Smith. Oh, right, right, right, right. That's John.

Speaker: That was, I think, a long legs. No. Gladiator. Because was like, it's Mel Gibson. That's why. I remember now. um This other civilian on the boat decides he wants to set off the charges. but This guy's a dickhead.

Speaker: But does not actually set it off. He says they've theyve made their choices and they should they should fucking die. um We cut to the civilian the convict boat and this big-ass criminal. He's a big, big boy.

Speaker: ah He walks over and goes, give it to me. He was in Rocky. He's like, I'll do what y'all should have done. I think he was in the Green Mile, bro.

Speaker: Was he the guy in the Green Mile? Definitely not the guy from the Green Mile. All right. Well, why is the Mile green?

Speaker: What's that about? Never seen the movie. don't know. You've never seen Green Mile? No. fuck's wrong with you? I could name so many movies you haven't seen and say, the fuck's wrong with you?

Speaker: Yeah, but it's Tom Hanks. What do you yeah, but it's Tom Hanks? Have you seen The Social Network? No. Yeah, but it's David Fincher. Get the fuck out here with that shit. Yeah, but it's who? i don't give fuck. Hey, don't be mean to me.

Speaker: Tom Hanks got COVID. I love you. Don't be mean to me. So, Batman's still tangle his fucking net. He can't see shit because his sonar is fucking up. And then Joker kind of kicks him over to a ledge and he drops this bar on his chest.

Speaker: And it's like 1158 or whatever time, you know, and he's waiting for it to explode. Did did you watch this on physical media? Did you stream it? Physical. Okay. Does your, when you hit play, it's the scene where and here we go.

Speaker: Do you get that? No. Oh, mine has it. You click play. He does that little. Oh, were you? Did you watch the Blu-ray? Yeah. I watched the 4K. Well, either way, it has it.

Speaker: ah So he says that and then it doesn't blow up. And Batman asked him what we were trying to prove. um He's like, not everyone's a psycho like you, dude. And then Joker starts with the, you know how I got these scars?

Speaker: and he's like, no, but I know he got these. And he shoots those fucking drawings out of his wrist. Right. Wrist? Forearm? Forearm. Yeah. Batman with my wrist. Push a lip.

Speaker: Push a lip on my wrist. And bald head bitch on my wrist sucking dick, eh. Call it alopecia, eh. Alopecia?

Speaker: Hey, man. If you ever find a fat bitch named Precious, don't fuck her. She crazy.

Speaker: Batman sends the Joker off the roof, ah but does save him. This is very 89-esque where he is basically going to fall to his death. I don't buy that the Joker did not hit the ground before that fucking rope got to him.

Speaker: If Spider-Man's fucking web couldn't catch Gwen, that fucking rope ain't catching Joker. he it' true yeah He had to push the bar off himself, get up, take the grappling hook, and then shoot it. Sorry, didn't happen.

Speaker: Too much time. Too much time in my hands. Shout out Sticks. All right. um And he pulls him back up. You hear that song, Too More Time in My Hands?

Speaker: Yeah. I used say i got – That's much dick in my pants. That's what say. Now I say I got not enough dick in my pants. pretty small. There you go. All sack. All sack-a-rooney. Sack-a-rooney and cheese.

Speaker: i The Joker alludes to, he's kind of like, you think I was banking on winning a fight with you? He's like, I have an ace in the hole, which is one Harvey Dent.

Speaker: Got an ace in my hole. So we cut to heart we cut to Gordon who is looking for his family's fucking warehouse and he gets pistol whipped by Harvey. um And they're all kind of sitting there and Harvey's pissed that Gordon didn't listen to him about the warnings of corruption in unit.

Speaker: ah Gordon apologizes for everything and the cops have pulled up outside. up snap Batman shows up and he's like, you don't want to do this.

Speaker: And Harvey thinks, though, the only unbiased way is chance. It's the only fair way to do it. Because Harvey still thinks he's the only one that lost any everything.

Speaker: Little does he know, Batman is Bruce Wayne, who's in love with Rachel, too. So, you weren't. I lost your bitch and my bitch. Um, and Batman says here that the Joker was out to prove that he could change dent and bring him down to low life scum.

Speaker: Uh, that is like the Joker and his crew. Um, and dense like, right, let's start with the people responsible. We'll go with Batman first, flips a coin and shoots Batman. And he kind of does the whole I'm dead.

Speaker: I'm dead thing. Yeah. Classic. Um, Does his own head, makes it out alive. ah yeah and He does his own head. Yeah, he does his own. He puts a gun to his own head.

Speaker: I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. And then ah he grabs Harvey's Harvey grabs Gordon's son at gunpoint. He's like, tell him it's going to be OK.

Speaker: And Gord's like, it's going all right, son. um And as he flips the coin, Batman kind of yeets him out the fucking jaw on. Um, and you look over the edge and Batman's hanging there with the kid and he kind of drags the kid back up, but he slips and falls to the ground.

Speaker: So they run down there and see he's okay. Um, and Gordon goes to call it in, but Batman's like, don't call it in. No. And he's like, if, you know, if they call it in, the Joker will win and the Joker can't win.

Speaker: So he's like, you know what? I killed those people. I can do those things. um I can be whatever Gotham wants me to be, or needs me to be, you know?

Speaker: Uh, and he regurgitates the line from earlier. You, you die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain. It all makes sense. I'm going become a mass drape. Um, he'll be hunted, condemned.

Speaker: They'll stick the dogs on him, but he can take it. Um, sick and tired of these dogs because uh,

Speaker: They show this bat signal being broken. ah We see Alfred burning that letter. And what if I burnt that letter? I'm going to do it anyway. ah Fox types his name into the sonar system and it all self-destructs.

Speaker: Batman starts to run off and this is one of the coolest endings to movie of all time. um So as Batman is running off, he's being chased by police and cops. He gets in the motorcycle drawn and the son asked he's running. he didn't do anything wrong.

Speaker: And it's just a voiceover of Gordon and saying we have to chase him. um He's the hero that Gotham deserves, but not what the, not the one they need. Um, because he can take it. Yeah, he can.

Speaker: Yeah. Um, this he's the silent guardian, the watchful protector, the dark night, and then it fucking cuts and you see Batman right off into the light.

Speaker: Um, that is a fucking banger of an ending. I will say that always gets me going. I love that ending. Get you a nice and rock hard. I'm fucking rock bricked.

Speaker: I'm fucking strapped like a dyke. yeah

Speaker: Yeah, I am. And it's purple. Why's your dick purple? Why not? Cut my circulation off. I always cut it off. Five stars.

Speaker: I honestly am tempted to drop it to a four and a half. You can't do that. After watches, I am tempted. Sacrilege. I don't think it's sacrilege. Dude, I actually... I know this podcast is literally two hours, but can I read you some of the wild ass shit people sign on the internet internet about this movie? You do whatever you want.

Speaker: That's because this movie in particular has blown my mind at the some of the bad reviews. Okay. um Like, people think this is a bad movie? there People exist that... Literally half star ratings.

Speaker: Do you think that's like a recent thing? Were they trolling? Half star. So boring. Left midway through to clean my car. Came back and was still boring. No baddies in this movie.

Speaker: What? Half star. Love Heath Ledger, but this is so, so boring. Don't know if it was would have been better if I was 10, but I stopped watching three quarters the way through because it's too long. One guy, half star, absolute cinema. One guy, half star, haven't seen it.

Speaker: Fuck you. Why the fuck you rating it? Fuck you. Half star, whatever, overrated as hell. Fuck you, this movie sucks. What? It doesn't suck. Uh-huh.

Speaker: Um... Fuck this movie. If you like this better than Moana 2, you need to change your opinion ASAP. Well, that's definitely a meme. What? Oh, actually, it is.

Speaker: The page is called the Trolls Fan Page 2009. Two years off 2007. two years off two thousand and seven I will say the only thing that I i dislike about the movie is really of it doesn't even mean English. today or Americans don't like the movie. What the fuck?

Speaker: This movie, this fucking movie is so overglazed. It's not bad, right? But it's so great. That makes me want to give it a half star. Well, fuck you. Fuck you, dude. This might take me a minute because a lot of big words in here that I think this guy doesn't know how to use. um So I'm going to going to read it. But ready for this?

Speaker: Why is The Dark Knight, the highest grossing film of 2008, lionized by our most hallowed cultural institutions as a masterpiece of popular of popular art so deeply propagandistic?

Speaker: Propagandistic. Big word. Why is this film so utterly disinterested in anything but selling the audience on the crypto- fascistic global political order of the 21st century with its spew of moral pal platitudes and flashy comic book tableau why does no one remember it as such buddy you've been living in a basement for a little too long a fucking just a superhero movie

Speaker: To answer these questions, there are there is no need to presuppose a shady deal between Warner Bros. and the American state, nor some secret propaganda office operating deep within the George Bush Center of Intelligence, quietly manipulating the culture industry from the shadows.

Speaker: Who hurt you? Caden McQueen, call in

Speaker: like are you what he have but But he has Killers of the Flower Moon as one of his favorites. I mean, um just don't get. How is it propaganda?

Speaker: Like at all? He gave Nosferatu a one star. We're spending too much time on this kid, but give Napoleon a five. So that's Yikes Kebab Jerry. We sucks. Gave poor things a one star.

Speaker: This guy's just a troll. I don't know. He gave Abedema a two star too. It's Christopher Nolan again. He's going off around his fucking Christopher Nolan rants.

Speaker: Barbie half star. Barbie's not a great movie, but it's not half star. The feminist propaganda. hu Anyways, there there is a group of people out there that hate this movie.

Speaker: And look, I'm not going to say you can't dislike this movie. I get it. If superheroes are not your thing, that's fine. But I feel like this is the one that like kind of transcends superheroes. and this door way Here's the thing. This changed the game for superheroes.

Speaker: Sure. people People are like, you can make a serious superhero movie. What came out first? This or Iron Man? I think it's the same year. i know it's the same year, but... But Batman Begins was 2005. Yeah, there was a gap.

Speaker: I mean, so... This movie, christopher what Christopher Nolan was able to do with this changed, I think, the comic book genre of filmmaking forever. And then I don't want to say he fumbled Dark Knight Rises because, obviously, he wanted to do a Joker. He said you saw once.

Speaker: Yeah, but I know people think of it less than this movie. It is less. But like we all know that he wanted to do a ah sequel with the Joker, but you know. He wanted to make this movie longer. Yeah.

Speaker: It's already a long John Silver.

Speaker: It didn't need to longer, Chris. It's a five. it's a It's a five for me. It's a very good movie. um I do think Christopher Nolan has an issue with fight scenes. I don't think they're filmed well.

Speaker: Hey, he can make a good story. He can't make a good cinematography. A lot of people argue who don't like movie, too, is that you don't need Batman in the movie. You don't Batman in the movie? Yeah. it's not a Batman movie. It's a Joker movie.

Speaker: Lots of people don't like it.

Speaker: The movie's called The Dark Knight. That's their... I'm not saying that. That's their argument. Right. i I love this film. I've loved this film for a very long time. I always will love film.

Speaker: Of course, it would have been great to see a Heath Ledger standalone, but... I don't know. I don't want that. No? No. i like your If if a part two is in the works for this, yeah.

Speaker: Sign me up, but not standalone. We don't need standalone Joker movies. It's not interesting. The Todd Phillips one was fine. Actually, I love that movie, but like I didn't really need it.

Speaker: We didn't it. it wasn't needed. No one needed a sequel to that. No, we didn't need it. I think the fight scenes are a bit weak. And Christopher Nolan, across his films in general, does not write women very well.

Speaker: Maybe Rachel. Rachel's Rachel literally is a plane off to these men. I know there's a lot of backlash to the way Florence Pugh is written in Oppenheimer.

Speaker: Yeah, those are the two big ones that i remember off the top my head. Is that a conspiracy or people just butthurt? People don't like it. But, I mean, Rachel's character isn't written well. No.

Speaker: We can't. I mean, like yeah it's not like she is written well. She's just she's just there to make out with the two of them. Right. and And they get murdered. For a little side plot. Do you know your top three Nolans?

Speaker: Yeah. Hit it. So, I guess from one to three. Right? I would do three to one. Three to one? So, like, The countdown.

Speaker: 3, 2, 1. It's the final countdown. feel like there's going some hot takes because I'm leaving some out. onem quo one in What haven't you seen? Oppenheimer. Oppenheimer.

Speaker: That's it? Of the big ones? Yeah. you've seen The Prestige? Yep. seen Memento. Dunkirk. don't know it's in mine. Tenet? I haven't seen Tenet, but I know and it's Tenet's a big one. It's not bad. It's mid. Yeah.

Speaker: um But at the 4K I've heard is beautiful. People love Tenet. So or pat number yeah number three for me is The Prestige. Mm-hmm. Number two is Dark Knight.

Speaker: And number one is Inception. When was it allowed to be watched Inception?

Speaker: High school?

Speaker: Watch it again? Yeah. ah you like to have it I have it a four and a half, and I've logged it twice on here. Uh... I like it less and less each time i watch it.

Speaker: That's not good. No, it was a five and I dropped it.

Speaker: My top five would probably be

Speaker: the Dark Knight has to be number one.

Speaker: Sorry, I went out order. Whatever. line I'd probably go Oppenheimer. I like Oppenheimer more than I like Inception for sure. I love Inception, but I like Oppenheimer a lot.

Speaker: I've only seen Memento one time. i I'm not big on Tenet. The Prestige, it's good, fine. I gave a three and a half.

Speaker: Yeah, I know that movie's very decisive, but I really... Divisive. What'd I say? Decisive. Oh, divisive. Yeah, that makes more sense. I fuck with magic like that. That's just cool. I fuck with magic.

Speaker: I fuck with magic. oh i now got a yeah job ballhead I'll go number three Batman Begins I think movie's underrated to be fair I've only seen Interstellar one time too say that Interstellar Oppenheimer number one The Dark Knight I think when Oppenheimer came out it was my new favorite Nolan but I can't dismiss the body of work that is The Dark Knight yeah yeah do I definitely need to get on that wow I need to watch Oppenheimer I know

Speaker: I mean if you're into that kind of thing, you'll like it. If not, you won't. I could definitely i could definitely see you watching that and be like, yeah, it was boring. Why? Because it's like a... It's dialogue heavy. Yeah.

Speaker: But you do get to see Florence Pugh naked. Really? You see her tits? Yes. Definitely watching it. I got the Digi if you want it. You buy it? own it.

Speaker: Well, got dig it out. I got dig it out. But I feel like that would be something my dad would for sure watch. He's big into the war history shit. It's very interesting. I do.

Speaker: ah Robert Downey Jr. is great in it. Very, very good in the movie. I mean, yeah, the cast is fucking ridiculous. And that guy, James Clark, underrated performance. He should have got a fucking nom. I think he's better than RDJ in it.

Speaker: Hot take for all you people who have seen the movie. um All right, we'll do a little. Plug it in, plug it in. So follow us on Instagram, TwoGuysOneScreenPod. Send any comments, concerns, movie requests to TwoGuysOneScreenPod at gmail.com.

Speaker: Let us know your top five favorite Nolan movies. Follow us on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Letterboxd. It's all in the description. Ball hair.

Speaker: Let us know if you got a ball hair and fat pussy lip. If you got one fat pussy lip, here's a... I guess if you just said that again, we're going to leave it all in, right? Yeah, probably.

Speaker: If you've got a fat pussy, you might want to take some like Advil or something, get that inflammation down. Drink some electrolytes? I don't know. Yeah, something. Whoa! Twix looked like a fucking crazy person just now.

Speaker: Shout out, Twix. ah Send us a voicemail, 508-8-5-8-5-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8

Speaker: that'll be in the description as well so as always ah can do it dude um We don't know when this is coming out, but ah I'm just going to say all it now just in case.

Speaker: Thanks for a whole year. Thanks for 100 episodes. It's definitely not 50. I know it's not 50. Maybe thanks for 200 episodes. Who knows? we'll see how man We'll see how fucking deep we are into this.

Speaker: But you couldn't tell by this recording we do enjoy doing this. It's very fun.

Speaker: Well, yeah, I mean yeah mean, I don't feel like we're going to stop anytime soon. We never gonna stop. Shout out William Montgomery. Alright. um I don't know. This is a vault episode. So we'll see you guys next week for whatever.

Speaker: Yeah. Toodles. Fuck you, Mark.