Transcript
Krystal Thomas: Hi everyone, welcome back. I am just so excited to have you guys here for this new series that we're doing called Not What You Thought, Real Faith, Unexpected Journeys.
Krystal Thomas: My heart behind this series is that people will be able to learn more about the different journeys towards faith and relationship with Christ while also having a few laughs along the way.
Krystal Thomas: I have with me the amazing, the one only Chastity
Chasity Perera: Thank
Krystal Thomas: And everybody just give huge welcome to Chastity. She is going to be sharing her story with us today. so Chastity, you mind if we just start off with you just telling us a little bit about yourself?
Chasity Perera: Yeah, I'm so excited to be here, Crystal. Thank you so much for inviting me to come.
Krystal Thomas: Of course.
Chasity Perera: So I wear so many different hats. By trade, I'll start here. By trade, I'm a personal trainer. I'm a certified personal trainer. And I love fitness, even if someone is not my client. I love hearing how they're working out. I love giving free advice. don't know if people like it, but...
Chasity Perera: That's one thing I love to do. it's a small passion. I'll say like a little passion of mine. Another hat I wear...
Krystal Thomas: Well, we're going to, I interrupted you, but we're going to put that link in there because I know a lot of us, you know, I'm still trying to get my summer body and it's about to be fall, but you know, it still counts, right? So
Chasity Perera: We want to have the summer body all year long.
Krystal Thomas: there we go. There we go.
Chasity Perera: Yeah. So that's one hat I wear. And then another hat I wear is a singer, songwriter, worship leader. And so I think of them...
Chasity Perera: all differently. Because I think of singer-songwriter as more of an artist hat. And I think of worship leader acts more of a pastoral hat through music.
Krystal Thomas: I can do that.
Chasity Perera: And so those are... three hats, but they all kind of work together because you use your songs in worship leading and you also are artist and a singer. And so you work on your vocal abilities.
Chasity Perera: And then also ordained through the Baptist church. So I'm a reverend and I can marry in Virginia. Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: on. She would not let me introduce her as a reverend.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: I'm just saying.
Krystal Thomas: That is so cool.
Krystal Thomas: That's amazing.
Chasity Perera: And other important hats of my life is that I'm a wife. And new hat is that I'm a mom. And so that's been...
Krystal Thomas: To the most adorable baby ever.
Chasity Perera: I love him so much. Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: he's so cute.
Chasity Perera: So those are some of the things about me and the different things that operate in. Okay.
Krystal Thomas: That is just so amazing. I've had the opportunity be don't even want it Like I almost said concert, but it wasn't a concert.
Krystal Thomas: It was you led us in worship and you did such a beautiful job in sharing not only the songs that you wrote, but giving hope to a lot of us in the room who may wrestling with some of the questions, wrestling in disappointment or navigating grief or having hope.
Chasity Perera: you
Krystal Thomas: Like it was just such a powerful and beautiful way in which you led us. So I'm already like, You guys know, whenever I have a guest on, I'm always thinking about, okay, how do we bring them back? We're have to talk about the difference between songwriting and leading worship.
Krystal Thomas: And I would even say creative because I think, I know I'm going off on a tangent, but I'm just so inspired. As a poet, I find that, especially doing a creative ministry,
Krystal Thomas: It's so hard at times where I'm like, okay, I need to produce content. I need to do these things. But ultimately I'm writing these poems.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: I'm writing these prayers because of the relationship and the intimacy I have with the Lord. And so being able to protect that, being able to steward that well, while it's also tied.
Krystal Thomas: just think you do that very beautifully.
Chasity Perera: Oh, thank you.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: So my next question for you, Chassidy, is could you tell us a little bit about your journey of faith?
Chasity Perera: Yeah. So the journey of faith is an interesting because grew up in the church. And so kind of knew from the start, like who Jesus was.
Chasity Perera: grew up going to church. Everyone in the house had to go to church. There was never Sunday where my family missed church.
Chasity Perera: I wasn't a pastor's kid, but I was a church kid. I was in church every single Sunday. Even if we were on vacation, we went to church somewhere else. There was never anything that...
Krystal Thomas: A Sunday that you missed.
Chasity Perera: Yeah, there was never a Sunday that we missed.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: And so that really colored my journey a lot. And as far as faith goes, I gave my life to Christ when I was nine years old and I got baptized because I grew up Baptist.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: And even though I was young, it was a real decision. It wasn't something that I made. for a nine-year-old, I had nine-year-old faith, but it was real faith.
Chasity Perera: And so feel like I heard someone say, like, when you grow up in the church or you grow up being a Christian, it's an interesting journey because all the mistakes you made, you made with the knowledge of Christ. And so...
Chasity Perera: So
Krystal Thomas: my.
Chasity Perera: you're being disobedient. You just, you know, definitely defiance.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: And so I think that's kind of how it's been for me. It's like I gave my life to Christ when I was nine and it was real and I believed it. And I never was, I never felt like I needed to be rebaptized or anything like that.
Chasity Perera: But it definitely is one that you kind of have to, just kind of work with if like, Oh yeah, I made those mistakes with full knowledge of who God was. And intentionally, won't say intentionally sinned, but I knew what I was doing was wrong and I still did it.
Krystal Thomas: yeah
Chasity Perera: In some instances. And there's, of course, learning and growth along the way. And so there's other instances where I was like, oh, I didn't know fully what I was doing. But there's definitely times where it was like, oh, no, I knew I shouldn't have done that.
Chasity Perera: I can at least say that. And I did it anyways. So I think I gave my life to Christ when I was nine. And then I felt like I had more of a defining moment or not moment, but defining period when I was in college. And God did a lot.
Chasity Perera: shaping me. So I would say nine it kind of just, you know, grew and I learned things, but, and then, but as I would say, maturity wise, more maturity came in college and then another set of maturity came after I got married.
Chasity Perera: And so those are like the three big moments where God really shaped my faith in greater ways.
Krystal Thomas: Ooh, like big moments. Yeah.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah, wow, wow, wow.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: I do have a question I like when you said that, I was like, oh, that is true.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: Like those of us who grew up going to the church and like knowing the Lord. And I'll share a little bit about my testimony in the episode that I'll record separately.
Krystal Thomas: But there That is being rebellious. Like, I never thought of it in that way, because like you are operating with knowledge that a lot of people don't have. Right.
Krystal Thomas: So how, you know, especially now when you look back at that time, is there a way that you have like reconciled or like, what would you say to someone who is maybe having a similar epiphany who is like, you know what I mean? Like, is like kind of like thinking about, you know I mean?
Chasity Perera: Yeah, I think... I think... I don't know I've reconciled the things, but it just gives me understanding of the grace and faithfulness of God, that his grace just covers us truly.
Krystal Thomas: Amen. I was like,
Chasity Perera: And, and that's why I'm saved is because of the grace of God. It reminds me that he knew me like, this, the song that pastor Aaron, our pastor from our church says that he really loves.
Krystal Thomas: which one? There's several.
Chasity Perera: Torben Good by Elevation.
Chasity Perera: And it says, you always knew there was a better me, but you love me as I was.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: Filling up the spaces in between, you've always been enough. And so I think that's the reconciliation is knowing that God has always been enough to fill up my mistakes, to fill up the ways that I fall short, not even necessarily mistakes, just things I'm not good at.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: And I think Yeah, I think that's the reconciliation, is that God has always been enough.
Krystal Thomas: Oh, that's so good.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: That line, you always knew there was a better me, but you love me like I was breaks me every time in the best of ways.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: And so like, if anyone is listening, and you feel like you're in this place where you can only see the things that you were doing wrong, or all the sin and all of those things. Like to be reminded of the grace, like Chasity said.
Krystal Thomas: it points again to a need for a savior and the fact that we can't do this on our own. So thank you so much. Now I'm to have to listen to that song because I'm like, oh, my heart.
Krystal Thomas: My next question is, what has been something that has challenged you regarding your faith and relationship with the Lord? It's a heavy question, is a big one.
Chasity Perera: Yes. That question.
Chasity Perera: Like, okay, Crystal, like, do you want me to be or how you want me to be?
Krystal Thomas: We said real journeys, real faith.
Chasity Perera: So...
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: Well, there's so many ways I can respond to that. But I'll say the overarching theme I'll say, how I've struggled is just through suffering.
Chasity Perera: And I think that's something that is just a theme of my life is like, how do I handle it? I believe that the Lord just gives every believer the gift of faith to believe and have the grace to be saved. But...
Chasity Perera: I think through my suffering has always been the most difficult ways that I've found to relate to God. And so I'll say like,
Chasity Perera: I'm trying to think. So can give examples from when I was young. When I was young, I really struggled with identity and self-esteem. And one of the ways that I really experienced suffering was I always got cold sores from when I was a baby, actually. like...
Chasity Perera: I think my mom said like a doctor passed one on to me and then that's how I got exposed to the virus.
Krystal Thomas: wow.
Chasity Perera: And so as a kid, it was just, it was horrible. And I feel like I got them way worse than maybe other cases.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: And I even remember, have this memory of going to the doctor with multiple and the doctor took a picture of me because he had never seen a case that bad.
Krystal Thomas: Are you serious?
Chasity Perera: Which is super, like, now that I'm explaining it out loud, very traumatic. Like, you know, but yeah.
Krystal Thomas: Wow. Okay.
Chasity Perera: And so I just remember just going through that and just, like, being confused and angry a little bit at God because I was like, there's nothing, like, there's nothing I did to get this to myself.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: Like, this was passed on to me. Like, the virus passed on to me as a child or as a baby.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: And yeah, like, So that was something I really struggled with, was suffering. And then I think as an adult, mean, there's so many ways that I've experienced suffering, but I mentioned one of the defining moments That wasn't marriage itself in my spiritual journey, but it was kind of like a marker of another set of suffering for me.
Chasity Perera: And my husband and I went through a lot of just like hard, difficult times very early on in our marriage. And so pretty much as soon as we got married, experienced a miscarriage.
Chasity Perera: And then right after that, my body went through this crazy journey of sickness, in Sri Lanka and we didn't really know what was going on and I thought I was going to die.
Chasity Perera: and so it was just, and even now I'm still recovering from some of the effects of that and the allergies that it brought to me. and yeah. And so I think those are some of the ways that I, I struggle.
Chasity Perera: You said like, how have you, you struggle with your faith or,
Chasity Perera: Yeah, and so those are some of the ways that I found difficulty in struggling with my faith.
Chasity Perera: The grief and yeah.
Krystal Thomas: I just want to, I think it's important to just pause and just, one, just thank you sharing that part of your testimony and your experience. because suffering is a, I think it's something that people, especially in the faith are starting to actually have space to talk about more and the complexity of it, and the grief and the lament and everything that goes into it.
Chasity Perera: All right.
Krystal Thomas: And when you were leading us in that worship night and you were sharing about you all's journey, and again, we celebrate like the new baby boy that, you know, you guys have and how that was a whole journey.
Krystal Thomas: you guys have just been so faithful in all it. So I just first want to just affirm you guys just being on the outside, looking you know, as a single woman that wants to get married and all these things, sometimes it's very easy to have a very limited view of what marriage can look like.
Krystal Thomas: And just to be able to like witness you guys and to learn from you all has just been so encouraging me and I'm sure to so many others within and outside of our church.
Chasity Perera: Thank you, Crystal.
Krystal Thomas: Of course, of course. I'd like to ask. So while you are going through all of this suffering and suffering,
Krystal Thomas: what did your relationship with the Lord look like? And I know that's also a big question, but think sometimes like we'll talk about suffering. But I would imagine there was like wrestling with the Lord. There was anger with the Lord. Like, how did you, what did that look like?
Chasity Perera: Yeah. I think when I was a kid, my relationship with the Lord was still just very immature. And so I don't know that it was super conscious when I'm like experiencing the suffering.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah. Yeah.
Chasity Perera: I'm just like, why do I have to go through this? God, what did I do?
Krystal Thomas: Mm-hmm.
Chasity Perera: I didn't do anything to go through this because happened when I was so young.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: But I think it was just, I felt a lot of bondage as a person.
Krystal Thomas: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Chasity Perera: Like I felt a lot of bondage. I felt, I don't know if trapped is the right word, but I didn't feel free because I didn't really share with anybody the way that I went through things when I was a kid.
Krystal Thomas: Mm-hmm.
Chasity Perera: I didn't know how to emotionally experience that or even communicate that to others. But when I was older, I think... So I think I just sought to remain steadfast majority of the time.
Krystal Thomas: I
Chasity Perera: So when I, when I experienced the sickness, I chose to praise God because I was just like, okay, like that's the only thing I have left. And so I thought about the scripture where,
Chasity Perera: Leah is married to Jacob and God keeps giving her sons and she's suffering this entire time because the Bible says that she's unloved by her husband.
Krystal Thomas: her story.
Chasity Perera: And know.
Krystal Thomas: I'm just like, oh my gosh.
Chasity Perera: I know. And you know, the way I read stuff is just always so funny. Like she was in love by her husband because she was ugly. that's what it says.
Krystal Thomas: Her eyes were dull. We don't know about the rest. Depends on your translation. I think NLT is being a bit nicer. Like her eyes were just not as bright. They were a little...
Chasity Perera: Yes. And I'm just like, oh, so she was ugly, you know, and her husband got tricked into marrying her.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: And so it just... she just really got the short end of the stake, but it says when she had her fourth son, name was Judah. And he's, and she said, this time I will praise the Lord because she recognized that God was looking on her situation.
Chasity Perera: even though she was still experiencing the suffering. And I think, When I experienced the sickness, I was just like, okay, this time I'm going to praise the Lord because I know God is with me. I know he has seen me and he hasn't forgotten about me, even though I'm still experiencing this suffering. And so at that time I chose to praise God, but then...
Chasity Perera: When couple years later, when we experienced another miscarriage, that was little bit different. So I still chose to pray and worship, but I had a little bit more wrestling on the other side of it. Like even while I'm praying, even while I'm worshiping,
Chasity Perera: I was angry. I was just, was angry. was mad. And I think bitter also just because
Krystal Thomas: Yeah. Right.
Chasity Perera: Like if you believe that God is the giver of life and the taker of life, then you have to understand even with something like with loss, like that God allowed it to happen and that there's nothing that Satan or the enemy or however you want to look at it can do that is not within the limits of God or allowance of God.
Chasity Perera: And so with that full understanding, I was angry, rightfully so, because God did this in a way. And I don't want to say that to, I don't want people to misunderstand that, but in a way, like, I'm just like, God, you allowed this.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: And so I'm angry because you didn't have to allow it. You could have allowed this child to live. And not only that, but I also believed that I believe certain promises from God. Like even when we experienced that miscarriage, I was confused because I know that God had called us to be parents.
Chasity Perera: And I believe that God was going to give us a child through my womb. And that was one of the promises from God that I believed that was going to be our story and our testimony.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: And so with that faith and that belief and that promise, I really wrestled in that season. And I just was honestly bitter and just bitter and subdued, I would say.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: I mean, honestly, who wouldn't? Like, can we be real about that? Who wouldn't? And like, I even think about, you know, like, I don't know about y'all who are listening, but I already know it's like, this is blessing me so much.
Krystal Thomas: Because I was so angry, especially like last week, with the Lord when it comes to my desire for marriage and like family's getting older, I'm getting older.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: And was just like, it's like, these are the things that you have promised. These are the things that you have said I'm not seeing it.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: And I feel like there's always like this temptation of trying to like, oh, but like we're going to package it a nice, beautiful bow.
Krystal Thomas: It's like, oh no, but the Lord is good and it will all work out and I don't have to worry.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: And other people will say that too. And it's like, that is not what's helpful. Like in this moment, I'm just here.
Krystal Thomas: And there's just something so amazing. And I hope I'm not stealing your thunder away from the next question. but there's just something so amazing. Like I was, I had this, uh, breakthrough with the Lord where, you know, I was trying to like explain everything away and my disappointment away and trying, cause I didn't want to stay there. Right.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: And,
Krystal Thomas: But like when something wasn't lining up with what I was expecting, it was like it triggered something in my mind where I brought back all these other times in which I felt I had been disappointed and let down by God.
Krystal Thomas: Now, let's be honest. If God had flipped the script, we'd all be real.
Krystal Thomas: You know, human, human feelings, like I'm sitting in it. And the passage that comes to mind is the part where the Lord is describing like, what is love and like, love does not keep record of wrong and realizing like, oh my gosh, and do I actually love the Lord?
Chasity Perera: yeah. yeah.
Krystal Thomas: Like, I think I do.
Krystal Thomas: I know what like that kind of love is where it's like, I can just, and it led to this beautiful moment of just being able to name how I was feeling and the Lord just sitting with me in that. And that was it.
Krystal Thomas: And I just like, even what you said, it's just like, there's something about, think it's beautiful in how you're talking about, this is how I responded in this situation. then this time, and then this time, like being real about that, because I think that that's in those spaces, that's what, that's when we really discover more about God's character, more about his love for us, his grace and all of those things.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: That's good.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah. So then my next question, we've moved, we've talked about challenges. what has been something that has surprised you in your journey of faith and relationship with the Lord?
Chasity Perera: I feel like I don't get surprised very often.
Chasity Perera: I can't answer.
Krystal Thomas: Is that a good thing or do you want to be surprised more?
Chasity Perera: I don't know. So like, I just, I think my brain is constantly thinking and logical.
Krystal Thomas: I see.
Chasity Perera: And so I'm like, Ooh, that makes sense. But in real life, like I'm a little gullible. So I'm able to be surprised. So I'm not saying that I'm not surprised, but I think when it comes to thinking about things, I'm like, Oh, like, did that surprise me?
Chasity Perera: that surprise? But, I think what has surprised me about the Lord, So I guess I have to tell another story because this is like a scenario.
Krystal Thomas: Love stories.
Chasity Perera: So when I would say I frivolously made promises to God. But I also, like, when I got a little older, I was like, oh, that was really silly of me. But I also still have to keep these promises because...
Chasity Perera: I don't, like, I made a promise to God. Like, it's not. Like, I can't go back on it, even though I made it when I was a kid. And so when I was a kid, I made two promises to God.
Chasity Perera: And one, you know, growing up, in a more, I'll say in more conservative space, a more conservative space, but not super conservative, was my mom didn't let us get our ears pierced.
Chasity Perera: So I made a promise to God because I was under the assumption that it was evil.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: or not evil. I was under the assumption it was a sin.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: And so I was like, I'm never getting my ears pierced, God, because I, you know, I'm holy, you know, all this stuff. So that was one promise. And then the other promise was, the other promise I made was around purity culture.
Chasity Perera: But I was like, God, I'm not going to have sex before I'm married. And then got older and I was like, wait, I want to get my ears pierced. And I made this promise to God.
Krystal Thomas: What do
Chasity Perera: was like, and I just like immediately regretted it. Both of the promises I immediately regretted when I just experienced more life. I was like, oh no, like how am I going keep these promises, God?
Krystal Thomas: What have I done?
Chasity Perera: And when I was 24, I got my ears pierced. And I really struggled. I really wanted to get my ears pierced. And I prayed a lot about it. And I know that seems silly.
Chasity Perera: But it just was my testimony. Because I was like, I don't want to go back on this promise that I made to God.
Krystal Thomas: and
Chasity Perera: And God dealt with me and was just like, you know, any promise that you make to me, I keep to myself. And so if I want a promise to be kept, I have to keep it.
Chasity Perera: I have to be the one to keep it. And so even with the whole purity thing, God was like, if I sustain you, I'm gonna be the one to sustain you. And so I trusted God through that process of dating and relationships.
Chasity Perera: And with the ear piercing thing was like, God basically released me from that, but also made me understand that I'm not capable of keeping a promise to God.
Chasity Perera: And so even when you look at covenants in the Bible, it's like, you know, it says like Abraham had faith and therefore it was counted to him as righteousness. But God had made a covenant with Abraham, I still wouldn't even put all of that Like, I wouldn't give all the credit to Abraham because we know that God is the one who is able to give us the thing that we need to obey him.
Chasity Perera: And so...
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: I think that was, was just like an understanding of God's sovereignty, I think, is that when we make promises to God, knows when the promise is made, whether it will be kept.
Chasity Perera: He knows whether it like, you know, like if, and I think God honestly just, if it means so much, like God is like, yeah, you don't have to get your ears pierced, but like,
Chasity Perera: I'm the one that's keeping you anyways. And so I think that was the surprise that I didn't do anything outside of what he already knew or experienced.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: And like, he wasn't surprised about it. And I know that seems like a really small thing, but it was, was my head when I got my ears pierced, like, I don't want to say like, I had to keep myself from going into like a slump, honestly, because it,
Krystal Thomas: No, really big.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of shame and a lot guilt that can come up. Yeah.
Chasity Perera: shame and guilt and identity in this thing that the church has taught or the, I won't say the full church, but maybe like our, my family has taught and just all this stuff.
Chasity Perera: and meanwhile, you know, my mom has her experience and has always had an experience. So I don't know.
Krystal Thomas: like, huh, wait a second.
Krystal Thomas: Oh my goodness.
Chasity Perera: But it became an identity piece for me.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: And God just kind of like helped me with that and also just helped me with not attaching my identity to things that are even, you know, not necessarily bad, but only like fully seeing my identity in him. So I think that was one truth that God revealed to me that really just surprised me.
Krystal Thomas: That's so good. When you were talking, it made me think about and talking about the Lord and the covenant he made with Abraham. always think about that part in scripture where they talk about like back in the ancient Near East, when you wanted to make a covenant, you would like cut animals in half. And then the person that was like,
Krystal Thomas: Typically the one that was in lesser power or authority would be the one that would walk through that would basically say I'm passing through.
Chasity Perera: yeah
Krystal Thomas: And if I break the covenant, may what these happens to these animals happen to me.
Chasity Perera: yeah
Krystal Thomas: And what's so powerful about that moment with Abraham and the Lord is that God is the one that passes through.
Krystal Thomas: Right. And, my gosh, I'm like crying already. But that is just so to me, like when you're talking about the promises and the things that we make and like, to me, that's so telling of the Lord's character, of his mercy, of his compassion, of his love.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: Right. And it's not to say that we're just out here whatever we want. Right. Like, to be honest, I would say like, especially like, I know for me, when I came back into the faith as an adult, like that was like,
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: I just, there's a fullness of life that I hadn't had access to when I wasn't in relationship with the Lord.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: So it wasn't so much as like, I'm mad that I can't do these things. It's like those things no longer, like I see that they don't produce fruit. Right. And so I think that's a beautiful thing to point out.
Krystal Thomas: And it is really big, especially for people who may be coming back to the church or newer in their faith. There's a lot of pressure to be perfect and to do all these things and to be reminder that it's not us.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: He's huge. Yeah, that's so good.
Krystal Thomas: And so the next question, what is the biggest misconception about being a Christian? I really did not chill with these questions.
Chasity Perera: You did not.
Krystal Thomas: I'm sorry. I'll be like, I'll be writing them.
Krystal Thomas: And I'm like, oh, these are so good. And I'm reading them now. I'm like, ooh.
Chasity Perera: I'm like, I was a religious studies major. And so I always say it's like very close like philosophy. And I'm like the biggest misconception, depends on who you ask.
Krystal Thomas: Uh-huh.
Chasity Perera: But I would say misconception that I think I hear not only from people outside of the faith, but also people within the faith
Krystal Thomas: Okay. Okay. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
Chasity Perera: and it's not even necessarily what's voice, but it's the mentality around it. It's just an ex, an expectation that Christians are going to be perfect.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: And so that expectation you experience, like I hear people sometimes say like, oh, this person did this to me and that's why I walked away from the faith.
Chasity Perera: Or like, you know, Christians say they're supposed to be loving, but that one was not loving or that one cut me off in traffic. And so
Krystal Thomas: Sorry, I keep forgetting that we have a video now, so my face was like so guilty. The Lord is redeeming my driving. I'm trying to...
Chasity Perera: Yes, I feel you on that. Listen, my husband prays before I leave home every day I don't have road rage.
Krystal Thomas: that's real. Sorry. That got me.
Krystal Thomas: I feel convicted.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: But I think
Chasity Perera: Just grace. Like I, if, if you've heard my story, like, you know that there's a lot of imperfections in the midst of it and just a lot of mistakes.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Chasity Perera: And I've made those mistakes as a Christian. But like, just understand that we're all human. And so we all have that human condition struggle and suffering and difficulty and hardship.
Chasity Perera: but we're covered by the grace of God. And so we've chosen to believe and say that Jesus is savior. And so that covers our sin. And that's not to say, like you voiced earlier, Crystal, that's not to say that we're just out here doing whatever we want to do.
Krystal Thomas: I know. I love how you can say me too.
Chasity Perera: You know, having a great time in sin. But it's
Chasity Perera: just to say that we're human. And so we mess up a lot of times and we're trying. And by the grace of God, we're covered.
Chasity Perera: And God's faithfulness is enough to just cover us in the midst of those things.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah. Amen.
Chasity Perera: And yeah, we should be called to a standard, but I think also just showing some mercy to us as we're working through it.
Krystal Thomas: Amen.
Krystal Thomas: That's so good. There's so many like nuggets. Oh, I just can't. I'm getting so excited. It's like, it's one of those. It's like when we seek, you know, and I tell people like, honestly, like recovering perfectionists, we're trying to get better.
Krystal Thomas: We're working towards it. Right. Like experiencing the connection and the mercy.
Krystal Thomas: But it's like, there's something so freeing in realizing that it's not all up to you. And like to your point, like what you're saying is like, we are, know, we have the word of God.
Krystal Thomas: We have the Holy, the gift of the Holy Spirit. We're in community. Right. And I think one of the things that I've been having to unlearn, I think I was like at a Christian conference and someone said that it's like, are you willing to be unmade?
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: And I was like, ooh, what do you mean?
Chasity Perera: Ooh. Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: Right, right, right? Like, I mean, how so? What do you mean? Like, oh, you want to expose not the shiny parts of me, but the parts that are still a little rough.
Krystal Thomas: Harder on the edges. And I think a lot of like realizing a lot of the striving for perfectionism is because I felt a lot like a very, a lot of insecurity and imposter syndrome.
Krystal Thomas: So like, even especially coming on staff, like where, like the church that we go to, was like, Lord, I walked away from the church.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: I walked, know, like, and I came back, you know, got baptized, did all these things, but still feeling like, how unworthy am I to like be in a position leadership and to steward others.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: And the beautiful thing about it is I'm not the one that is worthy. The Lord is right. and he will call equip and we'll lock, walk alongside of, and,
Krystal Thomas: I'm already realizing, was like, oh, we have to have chastity back to talk about ministry separately. But it's also realizing that when we present with others, when we are loving others, when we are trying to be better than our past selves...
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: that is from the overflow of what we experience with the Lord. And so in his mercy, he is showing us what does that look like?
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: Right. Before that, you know, like, yeah. So I just, yeah, I just want to echo that. That's just like, it's so good. It's so good. And it like, for those who also grew up in like a purity culture or where,
Krystal Thomas: the church didn't necessarily, it wasn't the most kind. We'll just phrase it that way.
Chasity Perera: Yeah. Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: And I'm saying like not the collective church, like your particular church experience. Just to echo Chastity's point that we are human. Now it's not saying if you are in situations that are like extremely unhealthy or abusive, like that's not what we're saying, right?
Krystal Thomas: You shouldn't get help. You shouldn't be in those situations. But what I'm trying to stress is we're just doing the best that we can. We're learning together.
Krystal Thomas: We're in all different stages.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: Right. And so I think that's, what's been so encouraging for me and having friends that share the faith and even friends that don't share the faith and the questions that they ask, I'm like, yeah.
Krystal Thomas: How would I like explain that? And we're like, why do I have the faith that I have?
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: Right. but it's like, even in those moments where, you know, when I was talking about last week, how was so angry and feeling bitter. Right. I had friends who randomly like out of the blue, like would text me like, Hey, let's go outside.
Krystal Thomas: Let's go for a walk. Or, I saw this passage of scripture and sent it to you or, you know, let's just sit together and do something or just have fun.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: Right. And it's just, you're, there are so many ways, when I am honest with the Lord about how I'm feeling that he will work through either others, or situations to always put my heart back to him. And a reminder of like, Whoa, don't have to be the Lord over my life.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: And the freedom that comes with that too. Sorry. I, you know, I'll keep you here forever. Yeah.
Chasity Perera: That's good. Minister to us, Minister Crystal.
Krystal Thomas: I went, axe throwing with a friend the other day and she, they were thinking about what our name should be on the board. She's like the minister. was like, girl, everybody else is around like, Oh my gosh, you're like a minister.
Krystal Thomas: out here like chugging axes. Like mad. was like, no, no, I just, just call me crystal. I'm good. I'm good. But it's like our running joke. So funny.
Chasity Perera: I love that.
Krystal Thomas: So my next question, what is an aspect of God's character that has impacted you? It sounds like there's been so many, but is there one that really kind of stands out to you?
Chasity Perera: Yeah, I think, you know, I'm a singer, so God's speaking to me through songs all the time, but Reckless Love by Corey Asbury.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah. Oh my goodness.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: I love the word kind. And he just has a line that says, you have been so, so kind to me.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: And I love that. And think just the kindness of God just always, don't know. think because certain words are always overused in our culture, in our society.
Chasity Perera: And I feel like kind isn't used as much.
Krystal Thomas: Really? Yeah, it's not. I'm actually thinking, I'm like,
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: it's not really used at all.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: Wow.
Chasity Perera: And so I think it just still has meaning to me. And it's not that good doesn't have a good meaning anything else.
Krystal Thomas: Oh, yeah.
Chasity Perera: But kind is one that I just think about God and I'm just like, oh, man, God is so kind to, you know, like we talked about, not leave me like I was.
Chasity Perera: To not, you know, when I think about the years of low self-esteem that I experienced, and I'll say I'll still have days and here and there where I experience it, but the way that I experienced it for...
Chasity Perera: I'll say even over 10 years for sure. or like an identity that I experienced and forgot to not leave me there or the bondage that I experienced for such a long time and forgot to not leave me there to like go back to like little me and say like, you're not going experience that bondage forever.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: when I just think about that kindness of God, it's just, it just overwhelms me.
Krystal Thomas: beautiful.
Chasity Perera: And so that's like an attribute of God that I just like hold on to. say in this season also just seeing God's promises unfold.
Krystal Thomas: Amen.
Chasity Perera: That's just like, oh man, God, like, you know, I'm great. I'm just so grateful. Right. And I, and I think about during my season of singleness, like, There was always like, I just didn't date because I told God that I'm trying, I'm like, I'm not going to be before you long.
Chasity Perera: I dated one person before my husband. And after that, I was just like, God, you know, the whole breakup thing is not for me. Anything you want to teach me, you can teach me by your Holy Spirit.
Chasity Perera: I'm being 100% serious saying this stuff in space.
Krystal Thomas: Look, I'm not, no, no, no.
Chasity Perera: I'm crazy. Hello.
Krystal Thomas: I'm laughing because I had a very similar prayer. I why am I not going on any dates for like what? And he's like, do you remember your breakup? And you were like the next man that you wanted to date would be your husband.
Chasity Perera: Hello.
Krystal Thomas: You want to take it back? was like, no, I do not. I do not.
Chasity Perera: Okay, that's exactly what I said to God.
Chasity Perera: And God made do. I mean, he listened to my prayer. He answered my prayer. And I was like, all right. But in that time period, like, I still was like, ooh, he cute. Ooh, you know, like, you
Krystal Thomas: was like, we still looking. We have eyes.
Chasity Perera: know.
Chasity Perera: We got lies. We don't know. Like, we don't know who it will be.
Krystal Thomas: like, it could be, maybe.
Chasity Perera: Yeah, him. You know?
Krystal Thomas: But like, I feel like oftentimes the Holy Spirit's like, you know good and well. That ain't the one. He's like, but. It's
Chasity Perera: Hey, stop playing.
Krystal Thomas: like, let me help you realize You you the Lord, but I'm saying like, he would be good quality.
Chasity Perera: Yes.
Krystal Thomas: A good quality, I'm saying.
Chasity Perera: Yes.
Chasity Perera: Yes. And I think that's just kind of like, it helps you get through seasons of waiting, seasons of patience.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: Because when I think about Even just like, I don't want to go too much into detail. But when I think about the different options that maybe I wanted for myself, or I would have chosen for myself, or the people, because I remember thinking like with my husband, remember thinking like,
Chasity Perera: Oh, I don't know, And God had to open me up to the feelings for him because I was like, I don't know. But when I think about the life that I've lived since...
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: Hey, man.
Chasity Perera: And not even just that, but even just like the way that like I feel like our callings and our assignments align with, And just the kind, like who, who Johan is.
Chasity Perera: Like, I, I'm just like, yeah, that's who I needed, God.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: And you knew that.
Krystal Thomas: I know, you guys are so cute, I can't.
Chasity Perera: And that was so kind because I was so impatient and I wanted it. I was like, Oh, you know, God, that'll work. He know And know you. Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: you. Yeah.
Chasity Perera: It works. And I think that just when I look back life and the struggles and the like, even like going through motherhood now, like, I'm just like, you know, God, I'm so sad have to, I had experienced the grief that I did in life, but I'm so grateful to be experiencing motherhood in this season of my life.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Chasity Perera: because it's very difficult. Like, I was just like, oh, you know, I thought, you know, the promises of a you know, walking in a field with flowers and it's just been so difficult for me of an adjustment.
Chasity Perera: And I think it's just a big transition and a difficult adjustment for a lot of people, not for everybody, but for me it has been.
Chasity Perera: And I think that, you know, God knows how the seasons align in our life. He knows, like, not that you want experience suffering and not that it makes up for the suffering that you experience, but it just colors it differently when you realize that God thought about all of those things.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah. Oh, that's so good.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: that's so good. Oh, Chesity. Oh, man. I just... heart is so full. I don't know. I feel like y'all's heart is probably feeling like how mine feels too.
Krystal Thomas: And I think the word kind, I was like, yeah, that is not a word that we hear often.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: When you, when you were talking, it also made me think of gentleness.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: Cause I know for me, that is one where, especially like being a recovering perfectionist, we're trying to get out of that. Right.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: You realize like how hard you are on yourself and like, there's a standard that you have set for yourself that is like, like impossible for you.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: Like it's nothing wrong with having higher standards and like operating, you know, but it's like one small mishap and I'm like, so like I beat myself up so much.
Krystal Thomas: And it's something that like being in counseling has really like helped me to be more aware of the power of my words and things like that. but there was just a moment where, you know, like the Lord was just like, was just such a gentle whisper.
Krystal Thomas: I'm like waking up and I have like this. So you, you write songs, I write poems. And so like in the morning, the sun is rising.
Chasity Perera: Yeah. Of course.
Krystal Thomas: know. Oh my goodness.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: And it's just like this beautiful, like, there's a poem that I wrote. It was, it's called, mirrored and slash essence of love. And the first part I talk about navigating depression it's like almost like looking at a mirror where you're seeing, like you're seeing a version of yourself that you know is not you, but you don't know how to reconcile.
Krystal Thomas: the ending of it was that poem that I wrote when I woke in the morning and the Lord just reminding me of who, who I whose you are and how deeply you are loved.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: there's just like a gentleness that is like in that kindness. And I'm just like, just, the world just needs a lot more kindness and gentleness in general.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah. And to be able to experience it from the Lord.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: So then that now is how you operate. Like for those of you who know chastity and for those you who don't, I'm so, I'm very sad for you.
Krystal Thomas: I agree for you.
Krystal Thomas: It's amazing. You are one of the most kind people. And there's like a gentleness that comes. She's
Krystal Thomas: making a face.
Krystal Thomas: Maybe, maybe I've just been around. I still think it's true. You just are very kind. You're very gentle.
Chasity Perera: Oh, thank you. feel like I'm a recovering meanie.
Chasity Perera: I've intentionally changed my personality and character fit into being a nicer person.
Krystal Thomas: That's hilarious.
Chasity Perera: I should say that.
Krystal Thomas: Oh, recovery, Meanie, is wild.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: Sometimes.
Chasity Perera: it a little bit. I think, I think, yeah, anyways, think I did a very hard shift and I think it's okay not to be a meanie, but I think
Krystal Thomas: I don't know. You got to go there. like,
Chasity Perera: I think because I grew up in a familial culture where we were just very straightforward and very blunt.
Krystal Thomas: Oh, I Oh, okay.
Chasity Perera: And people received that as like a meanness sometimes. And sometimes it was. So I won't say that.
Krystal Thomas: Being honest.
Chasity Perera: Yes, it was. I'm going say that. But I think I shifted so much where I'm just like, oh, you know, like maybe all of that wasn't bad, but I can bring a little bit of maybe the straightforwardness back, but do it in a way that I'm still not just being mean with my words.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah.
Chasity Perera: But yeah, yeah, yeah. So I definitely have made an intentional shift because I was like,
Krystal Thomas: That, okay, well, it's working. Because, like, for I would have never known.
Krystal Thomas: Sometimes you're just like, ooh.
Chasity Perera: Yes.
Krystal Thomas: It's, like, we love each other, but sometimes you're just like, owie. Yeah.
Chasity Perera: Yes. Yes.
Krystal Thomas: And so my sister was like, that's the environment that we want to know the truth. Like, tell us.
Krystal Thomas: Right.
Krystal Thomas: And my sister made the comment. She's like, you and I think the same things, but then they think I'm mean. And you're the nice one. But you're thinking the same things. And it was like, but it's like an intentional shift because it's was like, oh, and it took time.
Krystal Thomas: Yeah. I feel that's like a whole other conversation. It's like, thank you, Lord, for not leaving us how we were.
Chasity Perera: Yep. Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: I think you also, like now it's like the, the, the, you're not losing that aspect of yourself, but like being aware of like, there's a way, there's a way to be direct and also kind.
Chasity Perera: Yeah.
Krystal Thomas: think for me, cause it was funny. Like lot of people are like, Oh, Crystal, you're so nice. But I have a very like dark sense of humor. And so then like, it's like a curve ball, right?
Krystal Thomas: And so people are you two people? And it's like, no,
Chasity Perera: It's always been there. It's always been there.
Krystal Thomas: We're learning. We're learning.
Krystal Thomas: So if any takeaway for today, know that Christians have a sense of humor, right? And we're real people.
Krystal Thomas: Just trying to figure it out, just like everybody.
Krystal Thomas: So my last question for you, Chastity, is, you know, if there's anything else on your heart that you would like to share for the episode?
Krystal Thomas: Yeah. I mean, feel like you like tied it up nice and neat in a bow.
Krystal Thomas: It was great. Thank you so much for joining us. This was so fun.
Chasity Perera: Yes. Thank you for having me. It's been such a great experience.
Krystal Thomas: Yay, we're going to have to have Chastity back and all the things.
Krystal Thomas: I cannot wait. But for those who are listening, be sure to check out the website, United Not Uniform, for any updates about upcoming episodes. We've got a shop now. I'm trying to think. There's poetry, there's blogs, all that fun stuff that you don't want to miss.
Krystal Thomas: But again, thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you all next time.
