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Episode 112: Things That Make You Go Squee
103 Plays4 years ago
Hello, Podwalkers, and welcome back to the Goblin Lore Podcast! Did you know that we have a whole series based around Profiles about Goblins? Apparently neither did we as we have only really Profiled Krenko and Slobad so far... So we felt we needed to rectify this by talking about one of our favorite Goblins (and the winner of Mark Rosewater's Head to Head of Famous Goblins) Squee. Did you know a lot about Squee? We didn't and when we went to look we were kind of saddened by the amount of Squee Lore that can easily be found. In fact his MtG Pedia entry is a single paragraph. So... what do we know about Squee (shout out to Jay Anelli and his amazing book you should go buy)? Let's explore that as the hosts tangent from Squee's Hidden Super Power to talking about how he was done dirty in our return to Dominaria. Hopefully we have not seen the last of the Goblin who rose to the rank of Nabob and is now Immortal. Oh also the Return of Squee/Bolas Buddy Cop and the amazing art of Tappy!
We also are proud to have partnered with Grinding Coffee Co a black, LGBT+ affiliated and owned, coffee business that is aimed at providing coffee to gamers. You can read more about their mission here. You can use our partner code for discounted coffee!
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As promised, we plan to keep these Mental Health Links available moving forward too. For general Mental Health the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has great resources for people struggling with mental health concerns as well as their families. We also want to draw attention to this article on stigma from NAMI's site.
If you’re thinking about suicide or just need someone to talk to right now, you can get support from any of the resources below.
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
- Veteran's can Press 1 at anytime to be taken to the Veteran's Line
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741-741
- International suicide hotlines: A comprehensive resource list for people outside the US.
- IMAlive: Click Chat Now to access a live online network of volunteers through instant messaging.
- TrevorLifeline, TrevorChat, and TrevorText (LGBTQ+ crisis support): 1-866-488-7386, or text “Trevor” to 1-202-304-1200
- Trans Lifeline (US): (877) 565-8860
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You can find the hosts on Twitter: Hobbes Q. at @HobbesQ, and Alex Newman at @Mel_Chronicler. Send questions, comments, thoughts, hopes, and dreams to @GoblinLorePod on Twitter or GoblinLorePodcast@gmail.com.
Opening and closing music by Wintergatan (<
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Transcript
Introduction and Updates
00:00:30
Speaker
Hello Podwalkers and welcome to another episode of the Goblin Lore podcast. This is Hobbs Q here, joined today by Alex, it's just the two of us.
00:00:41
Speaker
So hey, Alex, how are you doing? Pretty good. I finished moving in. I haven't finished unpacking. That could take another few weeks at the rate in which I'm going. But it's nice. I'm in the new place and situated. I hear you're basically a dedicated goblin lore area for recording and everything is what I've been told. I mean, sure, insofar as my computer desk has its own space, like usual.
00:01:09
Speaker
Yep, yep. Now we're just gonna work on all the like, no like creaking chairs and everything and you're gonna be like, perfect. Oh, you're gonna build you a studio, the most professional, the most professional. That's what we're known for. So good transitions and being professional on this podcast speaking.
Brand Shoutout and Support
00:01:29
Speaker
Speaking of which, well, first, before we get into kind of just talking today, I want to make sure that we throw a shout out to the Grinding Coffee Company. I really have this on my mind because I got all of the gear in from the Kickstarter. So, Jen and I got like these champion, well, it's the company, champion running jackets. We got like the mugs, the socks. I like feel like I could literally be NASCAR at this point with Grinding Coffee Company.
00:01:56
Speaker
Like, I felt like that running today. I had the jacket on and I was kind of like, man, I'm like a, I'm a billboard right now. Um, but I'm a billboard for something I believe in. Right. So we want to give a shout out to them in case you don't know, they are a black LBGT owned and Rand coffee company that has been partnering with gamers.
00:02:16
Speaker
They had their Kickstarter, which was successful, and they've been expanding. So if you go to our pinned tweet, we have kind of a link to our affiliate that you can buy coffee from them and get a discount. And like I said, I strongly believe in them. I get two pounds of coffee a month from them. So always making sure to give them just a shout out because we love working with them.
00:02:38
Speaker
So, yes. Well, so, you know, we've start, you know, we've said each other's names and we've talked a little bit. Should we do our like actual intros before we start this episode? Sure. And I even have a question to kind of lead us into today's topic, a little teaser.
Favorite Squee Cards
00:02:55
Speaker
Perfect. So.
00:02:58
Speaker
The question is going to be, what is your favorite card that in some way references or just is related art, whatever you want to go with for Squeak? So I'm Hobbs Q and my pronouns are he him and you would think this would be easy, but it's not because there is a lot of cards that reference or feature Squeak in some way. So I
00:03:27
Speaker
Normally, I would just say Time Warp, even though it doesn't have squeak art, the original Time Warp from Tempest has the let's do it again, direct, rocky horror picture show, like shout out. So I, I love that one. And I think we talked about on our flavor text episode, but I am actually going to go with Goblin Bookie.
00:03:48
Speaker
because I love me some like uncards. This actually also indirectly references something else that we haven't. Well, we're going to talk about today, but the flavor text says Glock loved bets. He'd sit in the bar all night and laugh and laugh. Hey, he still owes me. Squeak goblin casino hand. Why this is funny is Glock is actually the name that Squeak has given to Squeak's toy.
00:04:16
Speaker
So this Flairtex is kind of hilarious because it's an unsat with one of our favorite characters. But he's talking about Squeeze Toy because if you look at Ledgermane is actually kind of Ledgermane is a blue card with Squeeard on it, which is hilarious in itself. But that's when he tucks the warm ball, which is Squeeze Toy in his pocket and says Glock.
00:04:38
Speaker
So yeah, that's awesome. I didn't know that. Yeah. So I'm Alex Newman phone on Twitter at Mel underscore chronicler. My pronouns are he him. And I'm going to go with squeeze revenge. I have to go with squeeze revenge.
00:04:55
Speaker
not even because it's like a coin flip card which is cool for this and kind of fits the whole squee thing and fits blue red but because it's a card from apocalypse which was one of my favorite sets of all time particularly in early magic because it's the first one like not only was invasion a gold block which i really loved multicolor stuff but
00:05:15
Speaker
Apocalypse was the first time they specifically did a lot of enemy color stuff. That entire set was about the enemy color pairs doing stuff together because that was like the end times on Dominaria and it was time for these two forces that don't like each other to work together.
00:05:33
Speaker
but also because this card is, once again, as we get into, it's Squee exhibiting his greatest superpower, and that's not his ability, that's not his immortality. That is his ability, his being underestimated, being entirely dismissed, and then saving the day because the villains just decide that he's useless and can't do anything, and then he saves the
Exploring Goblin Profiles
00:06:00
Speaker
day.
00:06:00
Speaker
Well, not even just the villains. Before we even get to this, let's just talk a little bit about, yeah, so we have not done, and this is kind of hilarious, we have not done a profile on goblins in like forever, right? It's been a long time.
00:06:23
Speaker
Yes, a very long time a very long time. We've only actually done a couple of them. I mean we've we've actually talked we've done two episodes on We did two episodes on slow bad and we did an official one on Cranko because we need to return to that. I mean, that's the funny part about all this like there's just there's so much You know, we're a goblin path. We've talked a lot about goblins
00:06:51
Speaker
And we don't always. Oh, and this is maybe a, let's, let's have one of our first tangents already. Um, if you didn't count the intros as a tangent, cause you and I had a conversation starting and we kind of tangented into that, but this is a tangent talking about tangents. So I'll set that aside. Um, I'm just realizing like goblin profiles, this was a thing we were going to do. We have, we had a whole list of goblins we were thinking about. We were going to do this thing. It was, it was like our first major.
00:07:17
Speaker
like feature that we wanted as a repeatable thing for our cast and we haven't done one since episode 19. If I'm looking at our planner correctly. Well, it's been a little while. We were visited slow bat. Yes, that was the that was the revisit to slow bat, I believe, or maybe no, that was the photo. That was the first. Yeah, we did revisit, but it was not like a full
00:07:41
Speaker
like return to goblin profile. And I think one of the reasons was, was I kept, I had squee on and I've talked about wanting to do squee for so long that it just became like this thing. I felt overwhelmed when it came to kind of planning for it or talking about it because squee is like the goblin, right? Like, I mean, you know, like he is the original,
00:08:05
Speaker
legendary goblin. He yeah, he's the really the first one that at least have like face on the lore. I'm trying to think how far back because I mean, Mercadian is what we had him printed, but he was in the story before that. In the Tempest block. You look at some of the cards like the other squeezed toy is Tempest itself. There's a few others from that set too, I think.
00:08:29
Speaker
Right. And I mean, that's kind of, yeah, only far along in the storyline, then his passion with Mons, actually, which was in flavor tax, true in alpha. Well, flavor tax, they didn't really do anything else. So the mommy is squee was that's true, squeeze toy is still a card representing him, even if it's not him as a card. And we actually got and we actually do have squee goblin the Bob that was, which was Markedian. Yeah, so it was a couple block a block after.
00:08:55
Speaker
It's kind of funny because it's actually like him becoming a general, right? I mean, like that's what a Nabab is. So there's a whole thing on that one. At some point, we'll become Arcadian and talk about that. But we want to talk about just Squee today because. I mean, he actually won Mark Rosewater's head to head poll of like famous goblins and like favorite goblins. He beat out Kiki Jiki. Yeah. Which.
00:09:25
Speaker
I think Kiki-Jiki even made the finals due to playability more so than anything, but at the same time, Squee won. Despite the fact that Squee has had a couple of cards and never really been prevalent, not even as a commander or
00:09:45
Speaker
you know, major casual stuff, I guess. He's used, well, he's very, he is very good. Yeah. In like, yes, we could, I would totally play him in like EDH. I have, I run both versions of him. Sorry, I should explain what I meant by that. There's totally places to put him in decks, and there's totally decks for him in Commander, but he isn't one of the like, the Commanders that people talk about.
00:10:11
Speaker
And if we're looking at like goblin decks, right? Like you wouldn't just have squeeby the face of your, even though you're looking at Grenzo or you're looking at Cranko, you're looking at. Yeah. I mean, you're looking at those. I'd say maybe there's some other weird ones I do. I have my Zotta deck, but that's cause Zotta is, is, has a very specific build to it. So like that makes her a very unique commander. There's, it's fight of all of that.
00:10:38
Speaker
Yeah, in spite of all that, he was number one on the poll. I think surprising Mark Rosewater.
00:10:56
Speaker
I mean, it's not like he squeaked by against Kiki Jiki. I mean, it's pretty dominant. I mean, he beat Doretti 71% to 28 and Doretti is like a ton of story behind him and like a very cool stuff. Doretti is another one that we really want to get to.
00:11:13
Speaker
We were with part of the first crop of commanders as planes or planes walkers as commanders that had a disability
Squee's Immortal Lore
00:11:21
Speaker
on a magic card, right? I mean like this this you know, like the ready is in a wheelchair I mean, that's actually I think an important thing to kind of recognize squee beat that out and We're gonna talk about why that might be first. We want to talk about the story because honestly
00:11:42
Speaker
We can probably get through this pretty quickly. Yeah, unfortunately. Like for how long Squeeze been around? How long Squeeze has been around. So yeah, I mean Squeeze been around, we just said kind of like that's where we first, you know, we're going to go all the way back to Squeeze toy ends up being an important part of the legacy weapon, right? Like, or
00:12:03
Speaker
Protection from it. I don't I never remember. It's important. It is important. Yeah, well like Ursa's rummage sale is all part of the legacy weapon If I'm remembering correctly apocalypse the whole point was all of the pieces together like we're part of the legacy weapon and when activated that's when it did the thing and so
00:12:29
Speaker
Yeah, just had enough garbage piled in one place. It hit a critical mass And so squeezing toys and we totally makes sense because it's probably ersa's We've already talked about ersa's rule rube Goldberg like approach. So that's fine But squeeze toy that he like finds Mm-hmm. I mean, that's the funny part the ledger made is like he basically tucks this warm ball in his pocket It's like it's it's like it is a major part I mean to the to the
00:12:57
Speaker
To the like the point where like the new art that was redone has him still holding the toy. Yeah, he's still hanging on to it. Yeah, his newest card also shows him with it too. Right. So
00:13:11
Speaker
And the card squeeze way we keep talking about, but like, basically it's like, that's got a flavor sectors. It's like, is the horrors closed in on Gerard? Squeed trembled and clutched his toy for comfort. He didn't know where it came from or why it was so warm, but he was glad he kept it near. Like the flavor text lets us know that this is just like, this is an important thing that he has. And that art is so awesome because it looks like.
00:13:34
Speaker
Like, a hedgehog? Like, I love the art of Squeeze Toy. I actually just got an artist's proof for the artist's proof deck. Or just, I wasn't even sure if it would put it in there, but I had to have that art. So, let's talk about the two main sources that we kind of, you know, he has mentioned in Wrath and Storm, Mercanium Asks, Evasions, Plane Shift, Apocalypse, the novels. He is usually a background character. We're actually going to start with J and Ellie's book.
00:14:05
Speaker
Do you want to read that, Alex? Because we both have our copies and we pulled it out to just check in preparation of this. Yes, and I'm glad this gives me a good excuse to pull this out because I got the book about a month or two ago, so right before I moved. I got it, I flipped through, it was like, this is neat, and then I put it in a box. It's really nice to get to pull it out and actually do something with it. I'm going to read, this is a really quick little bit. This is everything for a squee in here.
00:14:32
Speaker
Well, to be fair, okay, we want to say for Jay's book, this is the length of it. We know that Jay is a huge Goblin fan. And the thing is, and it's not even like getting mad at Wizards for it. The whole point of this book is it's quick little hits for people.
00:14:50
Speaker
So most of the characters have like one page with text, two paragraphs, and a couple of pictures, if you have more than that. So this isn't unusual here for Squee to have this. In this particular medium, we'll get to where that extends in other places where maybe it is a little more. So here are the quick two paragraphs that the book has for Squee. The goblin Squee was once a member of the crew of the legendary ship Weatherlight.
00:15:16
Speaker
His youth and lack of discernible skills led him to the role of cabin boy. These traits didn't stop Squee from evolving into a hero who always protects his friends. His tragic death was cut short by the magic of the dark god Yagmoth, whose resurrection spell worked a little too well.
00:15:32
Speaker
Centuries later, Squee is eternally unable to die, or at least to stay dead. The extreme boundaries of this mysterious power have yet to be tested, but being unable to die, being unable to be killed for good, has left the diminutive goblin with little to no fear and even less reason to develop more sense.
00:15:50
Speaker
And we've talked about this before on the show when we, when I pitched my bolus squee buddy cop film, right? And I actually have art from this by Tappy Toklas, the amazing cosplayer. It's in the style of Calvin and Hobbes. And I will probably link it in this episode because it came from us talking about like this joke about like squeeze oblivious in some ways. And we're gonna get to that. I keep saying that because there's a lot that you and I want to talk about with this character because we love him.
00:16:20
Speaker
And the community loves him. Yeah, the community obviously loves him. There's a reason and so but we came up with we were talking about like buddy cops or just like silly pairings of things for one of our early episode questions and We talked about this like world where it's it's Squeak and nickel bolus and bolus really needs something from Squeak but like squeeze oblivious and he's just really excited to have a new friend and
00:16:48
Speaker
Ballas is so frustrated by Squee that he just keeps killing him and like not really understanding or comprehending that they like he he's not but like Squee doesn't care this and he like so it's like they are Calvin and Hobbes and the art is just we when I then kind of commissioned for Gwen's room to get this um you know like pitched this to Tappy and it was just like
00:17:13
Speaker
an amazing fit. Calvin and Hobbs is my other favorite. I mean, obviously, that's where the Hobbs' queue comes from. It's, but it is this idea that like, Squee is underestimated. Squee is, but like, I think Jay says it hasn't been tested.
Yawgmoth's Curse on Squee
00:17:28
Speaker
We don't know anything about this other than the fact that he's still alive. Yeah. And I mean this, like, in story, he is still alive. Canonically, they went back to Dominaria and Squee was still kicking around. There was a brand new card for him.
00:17:42
Speaker
Yeah. He's still just hanging out. He could squeeze the immortal. And he is not a planeswalker. I mean, I guess, as far as we know. He's not a planeswalker. He wasn't given a planeswalker card. But he is immortal, which is an interesting concept. And you got to love the flavor text on his Dominaria card. You got to be pretty smart to live as long as me. But not being able to die helps.
00:18:07
Speaker
Right. Right. And like the the squee flavor text, at least one of the most recent ones from the versions of it is the if Yawgmoth meant squeeze immortality as a curse, no one ever told squee.
00:18:22
Speaker
which is one of the more profound flavor texts that involves Squee. I really like that. What's awesome about that is they changed the art. I'm sorry, they kept the art when they did this for Ultimate Masters. But they actually changed the flavor text because he's still this is the thing he's gone through so much. His original one was a Tangrath.
00:18:43
Speaker
General, general nuisance maybe. Yeah. That evolved into some goblins are expendable, some are impossible to get rid of, but he's both at the same time from Stark. Yeah. Another member of the Weatherlight crew. Yeah.
00:19:00
Speaker
But yeah, I think the Virtual Masters one is just the best. Like I said, I'd like to come back to that just a second. Oh, and that's a quote from Karn as well. That is also going to play into my annoyance here when we get to this.
00:19:17
Speaker
I'm sorry, just as a quick like life lesson, because I know we're not going to have our episode structured like normal, because we're kind of just we wanted to talk about this. And so I think we're going to have a few weird little things that kind of where we think about it, which I guess is normally how we structure it. But sometimes we have a little more order than I think this episode is going to have. But it seems more appropriate. We already you already let us off with Squeeze Revenge and coin clips. Oh, there we go. Perfect. But I just I love the.
00:19:44
Speaker
that flavor text, if Yawgmoth meant squeeze immortality as a curse, no one ever told Squee. And so it's like, certainly, and that is what happened in the story where I'm going to talk about this, it's mentioned a little bit in the Wiki, which is the other source, which I think maybe you want to talk about in a second, but that he became immortal, so that
00:20:04
Speaker
He could be killed over and over again as a, as a toy, like, yeah. And it's, it's a terrible, just a terrible thing that was done to him, except that I love this flavor text because this is just showing that this terrible thing had happened to him. But now, you know, that's, he's not, it's something that is being good to him now, I guess. I don't know. I'm stumbling over my words here. I'm hoping my intention is clear though. I think it is. And so.
00:20:35
Speaker
And I will say that, too, that I think this is a nice way to kind of look at it because this has changed, I think, over time. And this is where we'll talk about, like, the differences and where we're gleaning from. So I want to go back to the game, Pedia, because, you know, like, that is, you know, there's, it's not going to, we always talk about this, like, fan made wikis are not going to be the end all be all, but they usually are well researched. You know, you're at least giving references. There's something to be said.
00:21:02
Speaker
Now, why this is going to be shocking to me is because if you look up some other characters and other goblins, even there are, you know, references upon references in there are pages of text, you know, like I preparing for another episode upcoming with the Teferi planeswalker. I was looking at Teferi just to remind myself and there's like pages. Squeak is literally a paragraph even on the gamepedia.
00:21:30
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, and you look, and he has, and then they have, in the Gamepedia here, they have in-game references. Which is always great. Cards are in, cards associated with them, cards that are depicted in, cards they're quoted in, so there's all these different categories. And it's like Squeak is got to be in the top. I'm sure there's characters that are referenced in more, but it's like Squeak is in the top handful.
00:21:54
Speaker
I mean, I did a featuring squee and got 32 cards, 35 cards just off of that. And that was just flavor text. And, and, and yet, yeah, there's this little story present. So the game, the gamepedia like summary is he was a, he was a got cabin, hand known for his foul cooking, love of eating bugs and manner of speaking. Almost every single bit of that is from flavor texts.
00:22:18
Speaker
A genius among Dominarian goblins, at least. Squee was loyal to the crew and managed to save their lives on several equations, taking a particularly important role during their time on Mercadia, when as a goblin, he was perceived to be one of the elite Cairns, which is a race of goblins, and thus became an elite himself, and that's where he became Goblin Nabab, or General.
00:22:39
Speaker
During the invasion, Squee was captured and granted immortality, granted by Yawgmoth, and granted as he's doing a lot of work in this sentence, so that he could be killed repeatedly by Ertai and Crovax. This backfired, and that's what allows Squee, as you were saying, to accidentally kill Ertai. His immortality outlasted the war and he has survived to the present. He can now rightly claim to be the oldest and possibly wisest goblin of Darmenaria. That is the entire thing. I read it all.
00:23:09
Speaker
He, so what we get here, he saved their lives on several occasions, but we get no information on that.
Squee's Impact in Magic History
00:23:15
Speaker
And in the books it's, it isn't, it's there, but it's not as important. It's like smaller things. And the reason I'm bringing up the Gamepedia right now is I want to bring up one of the cards, Phyrexian Tyranny. This art is beautiful Kev Walker art. And it literally just shows squeeze dead body with blood.
00:23:40
Speaker
And is that is that the Crovax over the top leaning over him? He is Jogsmoth's reward to me I shall kill him a hundred times a day Crovax to Eretai like That when that came out and that artwork in particular Did not make it seem like this might be something that squee was oblivious to I actually loved the flavor text as you're saying with Carn on it because I think that is
00:24:10
Speaker
kind of how we perceive Squeak, but like, it's tragic. Oh, yeah. And I think I honestly, to pull back from that a little bit, I think that's is a like a little short, make my glib thing that doesn't necessarily represent the whole of it. Because I'm sure Squeak during that period of time, understood that to be a very terrible thing. It was a terrible thing that was happening to him. But since that time, like this has just become a part of who he is. And that's just
00:24:39
Speaker
You know, it's, I would think for him a positive thing. He seems to be enjoying his long life. You know, at least from what we can see, there's so little of what we get from him in Dominaria. They give us a card and that's about it. Like, I don't know that we even have new flavor text for him in Dominaria.
00:25:01
Speaker
No. Outside of his own card. Not outside of his own card, we do not. And then we get that one new flavor text in a reprint of his old card in a master set. And it's like, that's all we've gotten for Squeak since the invasion block. And what was that? Think about that. 2004 or something? I mean, he's had some reprints.
00:25:19
Speaker
But nothing new, right? I mean, the reprints were in, like, corsets. So, you know... So Squee, Goblin and Bob actually got, you know, like, he was in 10th editions. He was in Modern Masters. So, like, he's gotten reprints. But, like, we didn't have new Squee stuff, right? And yet, here is this goblin.
00:25:42
Speaker
winning over, and you know, let's talk recency bias, the whole idea of recency bias, right? Like, yeah, the goblins that he was up against throughout that was like Grenzo. I mean, like, Grenzo came on, I mean, Grenzo is new, he came out of the conspiracy sets. Like, we have these newer characters, we have a card that was a modern powerhouse in Banning and Kiki-Jiki, Squee still won, yet
00:26:07
Speaker
And this is, I'm just gonna get this out of my system now because we're gonna talk, we wanna talk about Squee and what we do know of him. I wanna talk about how Squee was done dirty when it came to Dominaria. So we returned to Dominaria, which was something that was really cool. It was a set that people loved. I enjoyed playing with it a lot. It brought this whole, introduced this idea of like legendary cards and this stuff all being like,
00:26:36
Speaker
historic spells were like you know like they had like like elevated you had legendary sorceries that you had I mean there was all this really cool flavor there was so much cool and and like you said the historic thing was a really cool melway for them to build on the flavor and the legacy of that set like the whole idea that
00:26:57
Speaker
historic is on the plane where magic started on the plane where magic spent the most time, years and years, like, for the first was like eight years of the game, everything was centered around Dominaria, there were times where they went to some other planes, like marketing mass and things, but like, that was all centered around the invasion that was going to happen to Dominaria. Right. And like, though, and even then, like, you could, you know, like, there was ways that non planeswalkers could go between planes. It wasn't what we are now.
00:27:27
Speaker
Yeah, that was the whole weather light crew that Squee was a part of, like he was a part of that. But yeah, sorry, I just lost the second there. Well, you know, you were just saying we returned to Dominaria, this was a big deal for a lot of the game players. That's right. Is this where we got sagas for the first time too?
00:27:49
Speaker
I mean, cause I remember like Elvis reborn and like, there was like these ideas. So it'd be like, there was a lot that happened. That's right. Holy moly. Yeah. In my brain, like I got really excited because I thought we were, you know, like here we are. We know there's a card for squee. Uh-huh. Well, and the Ammonoria story comes out.
00:28:09
Speaker
We see them putting the Weatherlight crew back together. We see them putting the Weatherlight crew back together. I mean, we're, we're seeing, you know, Karn, so we know Karn and Squee have a relationship. We know Joyra is kicking around because she is also somebody that has a very long lifespan that we know of. Um, you know, we got members of, uh, what like Captain Sisay's like,
00:28:35
Speaker
Progeny like some generation down is yeah is being recruited to to because you had Danitha to who? Know who declined but they both showed raff and Danitha. Yep And to fair there. I know those were those were kept captions. They were they were from from Gerard. Okay, sorry I'm totally blanking. But yeah, sis says Oh, Danitha capation, right? Like we have another yeah, but another relative but yet you're right sis says
00:29:03
Speaker
great, great, you know, something, something also was in there. And now I'm totally blanking on that card. It's a green, white card. It was hard, but we had that we have. So we have the weather itself. The actual weather light is a card now to ferries around. I know he wasn't part of the original weather like crew. So all of these characters from magic history are coming back together. Squeeze missing.
00:29:50
Speaker
And like, I think about this, right? Like they came to Dominaria because there's this like mystery, right? Like there was like, they came to a mission, like the demon Lord, there's like, Liliana and her contract, right? Like she wants to, so like, there's this mystery intrigue and all this stuff, right? Like, who do you think, like, how did,
00:29:56
Speaker
When we get to the story, Squeeze not there. Nowhere. Nowhere. Nowhere. Nowhere. Nowhere. Nowhere. Nowhere. Nowhere. Nowhere. Nowhere. Nowhere. Nowhere. Nowhere. Nowhere. Nowhere. Nowhere.
00:30:10
Speaker
you know, why we, you know, you have a character that has information, theoretically, or at least is alive. Yeah. Right. And from a from a narrative sense, like he's been around for a while, he knows these folk, at least some of them, like, that's totally an easy, quick little thing where they could be like, we got a source. And I was like, you got a source, we get a source. And then
00:30:35
Speaker
Like that would just be a perfect even if he didn't join the crew like just imagine the look on Joyra's face if carns like no No, I got a guy and they go and pull up somewhere and start talking squeak. It's gonna be like wait. This is your source. Yeah Around yeah, that would be great. It would have been a fun little like vignette Something hey, like there's just there is nothing And I think it was really disappointing for for well, I mean
00:31:05
Speaker
for us at least and we can speak ourselves at least I think anybody that I know who is a huge goblin fan was was definitely left very disappointed because and we talked about this with Gavin like you know there has been a lot of good goblin stuff in the last year and he had said there were some on the horizon and yes though he totally totally was right there there was a lot of cool stuff coming and
00:31:29
Speaker
But like, not even his comedic relief. I mean, that's what we've gotten through in the past. I mean, Fool's Tome, which I just love, is a book with Ertai. And Squeeze, like, what's that? And he said, it's a magical book. Am I smart enough to use it? You could say that. I mean, like, he was used, I mean, one of my favorites of all time has got to be
00:31:48
Speaker
Oh, the allure in Flavortek. Squee bounced up and down. I see a horsey and a piggy and a, if you don't shut up, Hist Mary, you'll see a kidney and a spleeny. Yeah, like he just was...
00:32:04
Speaker
the butt of the jokes for almost every one of these flavor types. Right. But like goblins have been that. And goblins have been that. And you know, that's part of his character, which we find him charming and endearing. So it's not bad that that's there. But the fact that that is kind of all we get to a certain degree, and then they don't, and they have a good opportunity to bring him back and do anything with him, even bring him back and do like a jokey little thing. We don't even get that.
00:32:32
Speaker
Right. We, you know, and I mean, that's what I mean. Like something, it's just, it's really hard. Like half of his flavor texts were about like eating bugs and then like him wanting to eat bigger bugs. I mean, it's like, it's like, there's great stuff about just like him being like his cooking medicine bag is about basically how Oram's journalists, how everybody got sick off of his cooking. I mean, yeah.
00:32:54
Speaker
Well, and you look at recycle, there's no flavor text on it. But the art is squee being really proud of something he cooked and jarred being sick. Yeah, I mean, it's just, you know, so I mean, I think that this is one of those things that I think him not being discussed at all on Dominaria was
00:33:16
Speaker
Because he's overlooked in some ways. I mean, I mean, this is getting to the heart of what you and I want to talk about today, um, both within story and without, I guess, because it does just seem like this was an area where it's shocking.
Squee's Absence in Recent Lore
00:33:28
Speaker
Yeah. When we have a set that is about nostalgia. Yeah. That we give him a card called the immortal cool ability. He can be played now from exile and from
00:33:41
Speaker
like from the graveyard so like he's got cool abilities you can kind of just like yeah you can just keep recycling him i mean that's the idea behind his card his original card is if he's in your graveyard you could bring him back to your hand yeah so it accomplishes a similar thing but it does it in a different way it gives you more options kind of gives him some more flavor i mean like what's funny is like it's kind of sad the ability where squee becomes good is meant to be he's a one-one
00:34:08
Speaker
that you like almost want to have keep dying. I mean, you know, like I think of my, my shower gang deck, he's one of the targets to put a skull clamp on. And from a flavor standpoint, it works. I mean, and from a, yeah, from a, from a male flavor standpoint that Vince, like that is what happened in the story in a lot of ways, he was killed and brought back, killed and brought back. And so it kind of is appropriate if a little sad, maybe.
00:34:33
Speaker
I tried to think about that when I'm you know then choosing to also skull clamp him but at the same time yeah um but Dominaria we didn't get anything at all and I know I definitely was very bummed by this because as Jay said in his blurb it hasn't been explored
00:34:55
Speaker
We have a character that is immortal, but not a planeswalker. You know, I mean, we got characters with long life, but we don't know if they're immortal. Yeah. I mean, you have a character like Joyra, right? Very similar thing. She time passes very slowly for her. So she isn't necessarily immortal, but is very long lived old, right? Some exploration of that with her.
00:35:22
Speaker
Right, and to me, I just kept thinking like, wow, we're going back to Dominaria, we got a card, Squee is still there. Like, he can't go anywhere. I mean, obviously, but he's still there. Like, how long has it been since we really were back to Dominaria, like even in like, or around Squee, right? I can't remember what the timeline is. I don't know. There were a number out there, but I think I would be wrong.
00:35:51
Speaker
I mean, there's been at least, you know, three, four or five generations, you think about some of the ancestors of original crew members who we mentioned earlier. So I don't I don't know that it's been hundreds and hundreds of years, but it's been it's been a while decades and decades at least. I mean, they do have like a birth date of 4195 AR, but I don't know where we're at right now.
00:36:22
Speaker
Yeah. I don't know the timeline stuff, I'll admit. However, Squeeze around. Yeah. And he didn't get explored. And I think this actually brings us to the heart of kind of some of the stuff that we want to talk about when it comes to Squeeze superpower. Yes. Yeah, we're, as I mentioned earlier, I've mentioned on a few of our casts, his superpowers, he's underestimated.
00:36:51
Speaker
Um, it, it works kind of in both directions. Unfortunately, both, uh, his enemies and his allies do that, but that's where in, um, squeeze revenge, like he kills Ertai because Ertai just underestimates him. Ertai assumes that he is useless and can't do anything. And because of his immortality, he is able to
00:37:16
Speaker
Kill her tie and fortunately by accident it was kind of a zany thing I can't remember precisely how it happened it's been a while since I read the books but I mean even in the in the art you see squee like tumbling a bunch of things on top of her tie who is in the foreground and is completely unaware that he's about to be buried under just debris.
00:37:37
Speaker
And so that was a big part of how Squee helped to save his friends. That was a big part of how, you know, he removed Ertai who was part of the crew, but then became joined. Yagmoth became corrupted and Maphorexian. And so Ertai was one of the like generals. I don't know the general specifically, but Ertai was one of the like chief
00:38:01
Speaker
people leading the invasion, the last phases of the invasion, and Squee took him out, which disrupted plans and made it possible for the heroes to save the day. It's kind of funny. I mean, it's a major villain. And like Squee takes this villain out. I mean, I think this is maybe one reason why there was a lot of love is there is
00:38:24
Speaker
There was always known that he was loyal, he was known that he saved lives, but I mean he does it in a weird way, but he took out like major characters. Yeah. Even if it was an accident. And he gets to take out his torturer, which is kind of cool. Yes, which is cool. I mean, and also there's just the, like I said, he's just a charming character. He's kind of the lovable, you know, bumbler. But people love those, which is why they're lovable. So where we're at right now, I just had to go look, roughly,
00:38:52
Speaker
He's probably about 400 years old right now. OK. And from kind of looking at where we were when it came to say like. The the mending.
00:39:06
Speaker
You know, the mending takes place around 45, 400, like 45, like 80 years from there. Um, so, you know, but like when we last saw Squee was during the phyrexine invasion, which ended at like 42. It's like 300 years have gone by basically since Squee's been around on Dominaria. Now, obviously.
00:39:33
Speaker
We like because of the mending being when it was we do have like they had been on Dominaria for that It's a little bit like that was the time spiral block and everything and that's where we do get a lot more of our two fairies storyline and more Joyra Squeeze around then
Squee's Underestimated Abilities
00:39:51
Speaker
too. He still didn't get any love Yeah, so let's be fair like even if we got 300 extra years still no love for Squee
00:40:00
Speaker
So you mentioned like the superpowers, almost like the underestimation. I mean, that was kind of the joke that we had was that. Bolas needs something from him and it works because of what we know from squee to this point, which is he gets underestimated, but at the same time, I mean, one of my favorite flavor texts of his is zap.
00:40:19
Speaker
which said all this time I thought Squee was useless, chuckled Sisay, who knew he was such a good shot? Right? Like he's like basically shooting off of the weather light and he's actually a very good shot. Like, it's all about him being like underestimated, tainted. Well, no, you get the water. I'm not thirsty. Like he's smart enough to like, avoid tainted water. Like he may be dumb as dirt.
00:40:47
Speaker
but he actually has this like ability and that's what you said like he like the squeeze toy thing is an example of like him having that having part of it he picked it up like accidentally
00:41:00
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, it is needed later on. Just because it looked, you know, nice and when he picked it up, he just felt better. It was comfort. It was comfort. Yeah. I mean, that's why this thing is so interesting about Squeeze. Like it was a comfort. It was like, when we say toy hair, like, let's be honest, it's almost like a stuffed animal for him. Yep, exactly. You're talking about a tragic character who could just be repeatedly killed.
00:41:21
Speaker
Like, and even before that whole thing happened, you look at just some of the, like when the weather light was attacked, there was, um, let me find the card hidden retreat. He was hiding. Uh, after an hour in the hidey hole, squee seriously pondered the advantages of danger overboard. I'm like, well, he's hiding after the ship was attacked. Well, and look what's in his feet.
00:41:44
Speaker
in the art of that. Yeah, exactly. Squeeze Toy is there. I mean, like that's, but I do love that flavor text, right? Like he's contemplating danger over boredom. I mean, this is, there's so much, and I think this is maybe, and we talked a little bit about like, okay, like why do we have this character that there is little lore on, you know, at least enough so that people have not felt the need to write paragraphs and paragraphs about him.
00:42:14
Speaker
Yeah. And I think it is because of the, you know, like I mentioned the fact that the time warp card that's a play on rocky horror is squeeze flavor text. We have a lot of jokes that squeeze like expenses you were kind of saying.
00:42:33
Speaker
But we had him like become like goblin. I mean we had – I mean I mean become a general. Like he has seen at least among goblin kind. Now let's be honest, that doesn't say a lot based on what wizard historically is given. Yeah, especially on Dominaria.
00:42:52
Speaker
Markadia was a weird thing and we've mentioned it a few times. I don't know. Do we want to talk about how Markadia is different real brief? Sure, let's briefly because he that's where he does looks like he's mistaken for one of these types of God another like basically there's different factions of goblins throughout magic history. Yeah, and different planes kind of have different goblins and on Markadia, the goblins are actually really smart and they are part of this like ruling elite and so
00:43:19
Speaker
There's part of the, and I haven't actually read this book, but I know like part of the storyline is that Squee being with them gives them the kind of, they're able to have Squee sort of do some things in the society because now he is a goblin and is able to take on that role. But I mean, it shows up in Squee flavor text, you know, sort of predictably in a goofy way, you look at the flavor text for Horned Troll. And
00:43:50
Speaker
It's a creature that has regenerate, regenerate, which all the trolls do, which is, you know, where it's kind of funny, but it doesn't look anything like a normal troll. It's a four legged thing. It's furry. Like it's nothing like we would think of as a troll. But then the flavor text says is a quote from squee that says, if I say it's a troll, it's a troll. Goblins is always right in Markadia.
00:44:12
Speaker
I mean, usually that's what the, you know, like even when he becomes this goblin, like Tangrat still is annoyed with him and is like, yeah, he's a general nuisance. I mean, I think this is our way of saying like, we just want to know what's kind of up with Squee and his underestimation is actually as we've talked about a superpower. But I also think that unfortunately, it's almost like he is an afterthought.
00:44:38
Speaker
Or has been. Yeah, maybe, maybe an unfortunate consequence of that is that Wizards also underestimates him because like you said, I think he won first in the poll. And I think that surprised Mark Rosewater, which sorry, I'm kind of cutting you off here. And that was in late 2018.
00:44:57
Speaker
Well, you know the funny part about this, right? What's that? It was after Dominaria had come out as a set. Exactly. It was after Dominaria came out. And what I'm kind of getting to is the fact that just with the way that development cycles for wizards work, there hasn't really been an opportunity for them to do something about that yet.
00:45:16
Speaker
Most sets take like two-ish years to run through and we haven't been back to Dominaria since then because that was after the last Dominaria set. So I'm really hopeful because they've said that we'll go back. Dominaria was super popular. It's a thing that players still like because it's where Magic kind of started. At least for the older players, it's kind of a welcome home thing. I know when that was coming out, there was some conversations about that where older players were saying, yeah, Magic's going home. But it's like,
00:45:43
Speaker
for younger players like Ravnica feels more like that which is fair like it's totally fine but for people who who have been playing for a long time Dominaria has that appeal and it seems like it was popular for everyone because they did a good job sort of building those
00:45:59
Speaker
different things in there to with the historic and with the sagas to kind of show you that history in a way where you could appreciate it if you weren't there for it, which is kind of what Time Spiral didn't do, unfortunately. Time Spiral did not recognize that the game had evolved to where it was, where it just threw all of the stuff in franchise players that new players were like, I don't know what's going on.
00:46:23
Speaker
Time Spiral didn't recognize that it needed to give an end to newer players. Time Spiral was 100% aimed at the enfranchised players, but Dominaria was able to both give to the enfranchised players in a very similar way, at least for me as someone who loved Time Spiral. I loved Dominaria for a lot of the same reasons, but the set was also able to work for people who didn't have all of that context. So I'm hopeful.
00:46:51
Speaker
that when we do go back to Dominaria at some point, they recognize that squeeze a character that people like, that squeeze a character that people want to have more involvement and know more about and to do more things. And so I'm hopeful still.
Call for More Squee Stories
00:47:06
Speaker
Mark Rosewater, if you are listening to this and we know that you are an avid Goblin fan and listener of this podcast, we are very certain of this. We know that our series on
00:47:19
Speaker
The color pie and food and other, you know, touches on these things are all things that you definitely have paid attention to. We want to put our plea in. Give us more squee. We, we love him. I mean, the fans love him. I, I, it's being silly, but 3,200 votes into a final of one of his head to heads and squee getting almost 60% of the vote tells us something. Yeah.
00:47:50
Speaker
And it tells us that we have an interesting piece, and I really just – I want to harken back to the very beginning with talking about Jay's profile, because I do think that that is one thing that Jay – Jay did a fantastic job with the sections of the books I have read. I will fully admit I read like all the Goblin pieces first. You know, I joked with Jay to see how much he was able to sneak in, because he is a huge Goblin fan also.
00:48:12
Speaker
What I love about that was Jay really honed in about what hasn't been explored with Squeak that is unique and interesting and is a possible angle to look into just thinking of a storyline, like his immortality that has been a curse to probably a lot of people. If you think about it, like that idea is not necessarily a good one when we don't know. Lifespan of goblins probably like it's not very long.
00:48:41
Speaker
usually probably to their own doing, their own fault. But at the same time, it's not long comparatively. This is a very different area to explore even. And I'm not gonna lie, I would love to see something happen where like, even they either try to reverse this or something goes wrong and squeeze sparks. I mean, I'm not gonna lie, like, that would be my ideal scenario right there.
00:49:04
Speaker
Yeah, because then we are one step closer to the true buddy cop pairing, the squee and Nicole Bolas. What if squee accidentally breaks Nicole Bolas out? Well, that was okay. So it's really funny that you mentioned that because I flat out was like now picturing squee sparking, like somehow ending up in the prison realm or the meditation realm, because it is a plane. And like,
00:49:29
Speaker
That there we go right there. And now we have like the reverse of of what we had thought about before. We now have a mortal nickel bolus. Yeah. With no spark and immortal trying to find out or well, a sparked planes walking. Squeak trying to figure out how to utilize this goblin to get out of the realm. Right. We just being like, I got a friend. I'm bringing my checker set. We're going to play. It's going to be great.
00:50:03
Speaker
The image of bull is like just plain checkers with him trying to figure out how to manipulate him to bring something of actual use
00:50:13
Speaker
Right, right, right, like how to get out of this realm without a spark that his brother, like, I mean, let's be honest, Ugin's gonna get bored and leave at some point and just assume... Ugin's gonna go to Starbucks. Yeah, he's gonna assume that everything's fine. Yeah, and while he's gone, that's when, that's when Bolas has to put his plan into motion. It's gonna be so confused because this is gonna be the first plane out, you know, like, okay.
00:50:41
Speaker
He's been to other planes only on a spaceship, basically. So, this is gonna be his first real, like, spark event. Ends up in this, like, beautiful meditation realm. With, like, a bolus who can't go anywhere. This is it. Wizards, we just gave it to you. It's for free. We're throwing this out there for free. Subscribe to our Patreon? I don't know, like, I just, like...
00:51:08
Speaker
I have no better way for us to end the show today than the fact that we brought it full circle. Yeah, I feel that that definitely works. So thank you all for, you know, like, it feels like what I'm really hearing is it's been too long since our last Goblin Profile.
00:51:25
Speaker
Yeah, it's, it's a thing we've got to get back to now that we've, we've kind of got squee out of the way, which I think, I think you're right. It's one that we wanted to work on and we definitely wanted to make sure that it got all of the work and every, you know, everything that it was served. And then today we kind of just sat down and recorded something, which I think was probably the only way we could have gotten this up. No plan. Let's just talk about squee.
00:51:49
Speaker
Like, we got on the horn long enough for you to rile me up. That's right. We're trying to figure out what to do. It's like, well, we could talk about squee. And was done dirty. And then yeah, Hobbes was just all right, starting the recording. I'm ready to go. I ranked it and Alex was like, Yeah, maybe we should use this for the show. And I'm like, Well, I am now at the proper emotional state.
00:52:11
Speaker
And that's our show for today. You can find the host on Twitter. Hopskew can be found at Hopskew. And Alex Duman can be found at Mel.com. Send any questions, comments, thoughts, hopes, and dreams to at goblinlordpod on Twitter or email us at goblinlordpodcast at email.com.
00:52:29
Speaker
If you want to support your friendly neighborhood gospel, the task can be found at patreon.com. Opening and closing music by Vindergotten, who can be found on Twitter at Vindergotten, or online at vindergotten.bandcamp.com. Logo art by Steven Raffaele, who can be found on Twitter at Steve Raffaele.
00:52:52
Speaker
Goblin Lore is proud to be presented by Hipsters of the Coast as part of their growing Vorthos content, as well as magic content of all kinds. Check them out on Twitter at hipstersmtg or online at hipstersofthecoast.com. Thank you all for listening, and remember, goblins, like snowflakes, are only dangerous in numbers.