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S3 E4: Keira Rumble - Bound by Love
34 Plays6 hours ago
Keira Rumble is a mother and entrepreneur who has used her platform to share her raw lived experience with multiple miscarriages, a life-threatening heterotopic pregnancy, and the realities of medical gaslighting. By stepping into the spotlight, Keira has worked tirelessly to shatter the structural silence that leaves thousands of women feeling entirely invisible in their darkest moments.
In this episode, we unpack Keira’s experience navigating a healthcare system that frequently dismisses maternal pain. We dive into the secondary trauma of medical misogyny, the history-making premiere of The Miscarriage Rebellion, and how she channeled personal heartbreak into action by spearheading the groundbreaking Bound by Love campaign—ultimately raising a massive $140,000 donated to Pink Elephants and Bears of Hope.
Key Takeaways From This Episode:
- Confronting Medical Gaslighting: Keira lays bare the reality of having her physical symptoms downplayed by clinical professionals, driving her to loudly advocate for an urgent, empathy-led evolution in frontline medical care.
- The Bound by Love Movement: Inside the historic campaign that sought to honour every single baby lost across the reproductive spectrum, proving that parental grief should never be carried as a silent burden.
- Expanding the Circle of Support: How the portion of the $140,000 raised by Keira's initiative which was allocated to Pink Elephants directly funded two additional specialist counsellors for Pink Elephants' Pregnancy Loss Circle, building the vital operational capacity needed to provide immediate mental health sanctuary.
- Hope for the Future: Keira’s vision for a complete dismantling of clinical gaslighting, ensuring every hospital and GP clinic across Australia is automatically integrated with peer support networks so validation and love are guaranteed from the first moment of loss.
Help us Celebrate 10 Years & Donate: Help us show up for the next decade. Your donation ensures we can continue providing a circle of support for families impacted by early pregnancy loss. Donate here.
EARLY PREGNANCY LOSS SUPPORT
If you or someone you know has experienced miscarriage or early pregnancy loss, please know you are not alone. Connect with our services:
- Emotional support resources
- Live Chat with Peer Support
- Online Communities
- Pregnancy Loss helpline delivered by PANDA
- Circle of support
- Follow @pinkelephantssupport on instagram.
- For crisis support, please call Lifeline - 13 11 14.
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Transcript
Season Three Kickoff
00:00:05
Speaker
Welcome back to season three of the Miscarriage Rebellion. As you've probably heard already, this is a decade of
Reflecting on a Decade of Impact
00:00:12
Speaker
impact. We're taking the opportunity to stop and reflect on 10 years of making a difference for mothers who've lost their babies during pregnancy, to all of the families that are impacted by miscarriage, termination for medical reasons, ectopic, molar, chemical pregnancy, all of the different types of loss that deserve to be met with validation, empathy and connection. We're taking a moment to also acknowledge those people that have walked alongside us during this experience of building and founding a national charity and helping us to show up by showing up
Introducing Kira Rumble
00:00:42
Speaker
for us. And one of those wonderful people is Kira Rumble. I'm really excited to have Kira. You're here with us today on the podcast. Thanks so much for having me. It's nice to do it face to face. I know. I feel like we've done this before, but they've been like Zoom we were just talking about last time you came on. Yeah, with my son's headphones on and yep, yep. And we will link to like previous episodes that you've
Kira's Personal Journey with Pregnancy Loss
00:01:02
Speaker
done. um This time we do want to talk about some of the work that you've done to support Pink Elephants. But before we get to that, it is always nice to kind of acknowledge and ground ourselves in that lived experience. So if you want to kind of share a little bit with the listeners about why you're so connected and so passionate about this space. I guess it's all about the lived experience, right? So...
00:01:22
Speaker
I never imagined that I would be in the space that I am now. mum, very, very grateful to have, you know, four kids.
00:01:32
Speaker
And I just assumed that pregnancy would come really easily to me. But as we know, it definitely didn't. I've had, you know, over 10 plus pregnancies and I've got two living babies and IVF yeah babies and...
Finding Peace Amidst Loss
00:01:44
Speaker
You know, even as recent as just over a year ago, we had a had a loss and it's just I'm now at peace with, you know, this is my journey. But I just remember so clearly thinking to myself, I feel so alone and I just don't want anyone else to feel like this. And...
Documenting Ectopic Pregnancy on Social Media
00:02:04
Speaker
all I did was pick up my phone when I was going through an ectopic pregnancy and I started documenting it and then I put it out online. And um yeah, it was this really cathartic but very bizarre moment where i felt very vulnerable. But then I just watched all of these people coming through my Instagram DMs saying this has happened to me or I know someone and I just felt like it was my purpose to really, you know,
00:02:31
Speaker
give back to the people that held me during those dark moments, especially you guys. Yeah. And that's how we first connected. i remember also seeing that video and thinking, wow, someone's out here, they're talking about this in real time. Because I think what's not, you've not shared or not valued there that needs to be kind of looked at is that you were sharing this whilst you were actually going
Sharing Real-Time Loss Experiences
00:02:51
Speaker
through it. yeah Most people... now are coming to a stage where they can share these experiences with hindsight. And often that's with a rainbow baby in their arms that they've got so much gratitude for and they think it's time to share and they feel in a safe space that they can now and that's beautiful. But it is still so very rare for people to share when they're literally going through it. Yeah. i um
00:03:11
Speaker
I remember i was I had surgery because it was a ruptured ectopic pregnancy and I had just gotten home from the hospital And I just remember sitting on that couch and my face was so puffy.
Struggles with Ectopic Pregnancy Information
00:03:23
Speaker
But just, yeah, I just, I remember it was way back before AI and I was on YouTube trying to find what symptoms were for an ectopic pregnancy. And I just couldn't find anything.
00:03:37
Speaker
And I was like, if I'm having this issue, yeah how many other people are going through this? Because for too long, particularly the experience of ectopic, it's just seen as an early miscarriage. and it's not been kind of met with the support, the information that you need to even get the health support that you need, right? And that's how the medical management of it, yeah that you kind of experienced that medical gaslighting. Yeah,
Medical Gaslighting and the Need for Recognition
00:04:00
Speaker
four weeks. Yeah.
00:04:02
Speaker
Yep, of being told, oh no it's just a miscarriage or, oh, you're pregnant, yep. let's just go get you another blood test. And yeah, lo and behold, it was you know ruptured ectopic pregnancy and I had internal bleeding. and But even just sitting in the hospital bed after going through the surgery, there was no, I'm so sorry. no i had the exact same experiences I've had with many other pregnancy positive pregnancy tests of seeing that positive line.
00:04:32
Speaker
And all of that, you know, that hope and that thinking of I'm going to be a mum finally. and then no one. in that hospital apologised, not apologised, but just said, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Acknowledged, right? Acknowledged, yeah, that's the word. Yeah, 100%. And that's still so common today and still something that we're trying to challenge and it doesn't happen overnight. It takes women like yourself to share these stories. Yeah. And I guess then that also brings us really nicely to the work that you do through your Bound and by Love campaign that I can't, like, I'm just...
Bound by Love Campaign and T-shirt Symbolism
00:05:03
Speaker
like brings me to tears yeah i think it's just absolutely incredible I think yeah I'm still so speechless especially how last year so it's that last year was the second year the first year was you know still amazing but we wanted to have something that was this symbol of sisterhood almost of, you know, you spot another person wearing the shirt and you you know, and it's just never in my wildest dreams. I mean, we had to, we sold out so quickly and I even said, i okay, I'm going to do another um smaller order to hold us out until this year. And I was expecting a few hundred and it was over a thousand people saying, i want, I want a shirt, which just, yeah, it heart breaks your heart, but it's so special.
00:05:53
Speaker
that it's just this symbol yeah yeah and it is that I know that I see them even in my local community people that I don't know and I'll be like oh my god that woman's wearing a t-shirt at my local cafe and it's just this gentle nod yep and really beautiful acknowledgement that yep we're in this together we've been through this and yeah they matter our babies matter yeah it's just yeah i'm a bit nervous to top for what we did last year like what's the design gonna be but it's just yeah and even just grandmothers that have had their daughter go through it and they've lost their grandbabies and just wanting to wear it or gift it it's just so special it really is it really is And talk us through, I think you did the design with Beck. Yeah, Bond. Who's one of your friends. yeah and I know that from the Instagram world. But yeah, if you want to talk a little bit through kind of the design process and what was involved in those conversations. We are both ADHD girls, Beck and I, and it involved a lot of 2am messages. And um so many messages and so many iterations. And I think what I wanted from her was, you know, she's obviously, well, not obviously, some people won't know her story, but she lost Otis, her little boy. And she just kept on saying, you know, I i would say this, you know, over and over and over again to my little girl and to represent him. And I said, well, let's get this on a T-shirt. How do we, how do we symbolise that?
00:07:23
Speaker
In a t-shirt. Yeah. Yeah. And I knew the design, I knew the colours and then, yeah, designing a t-shirt is very tricky. It was, yeah, I remember showing the girls in the office, which one do we like? And they were like, oh, and they all said, surprisingly, not the one that we ended up going with because I was like,
00:07:44
Speaker
I will take on your feedback, but this is the one we're going with. You knew, right? Yeah. i knew. yeah Yeah. And it is such a beautiful representation. Yeah, it's beautiful. And I think I talked about this with you offline as well, but nice to bring it into the conversation here, is that it raises money for two organisations.
Fundraising for Pink Elephants and Birds of Hope
00:07:59
Speaker
organizations yes too So obviously I'm incredibly biased and i love Pink Elephants, yeah but I love that you raise money for Birds of Hope as well. Yeah. And what I love that you do for our community is that you bring together all losses and you validate any type of loss. Yeah. As grief worthy, as in need of support, empathy, all of the things that we know really make a difference to a woman and her partner feeling seen and not disenfranchised.
00:08:22
Speaker
How important was it for you to kind of choose to take that path? So important. I mean, two of my best friends have both gone through TFMRs and I've seen Jade specifically go through, connected over an ectopic pregnancy. Mm-hmm.
00:08:42
Speaker
we were then pregnant I was pregnant with my son Hunter and she was pregnant with Harper around the same time and we went through that excitement together and then I saw how much it destroyer yeah yeah and it really angers me that people have opinions about TFMRs when they aren't entitled to. 100%. hundred percent I don't think any mother wants to go through saying goodbye to their child. But when they are faced with such extreme medical complications like Harvard, it's inhumane. Yeah.
00:09:23
Speaker
I see nothing but love that is involved in making those decisions as a parent. Yeah. And what is your main act is to love your children, right? Yeah. And when they make that decision, it's filled with so much compassion and love for that child not to suffer. Yeah.
00:09:37
Speaker
They did not enter that pregnancy wanting it to end this way. Yeah. and Okay. so I think we really need to hear the lived experiences of termination for medical reasons, TFMR. And I think it's abhorrent that in 2026, we have anyone contradicting with any opinion that's other than that of the lived experience.
Importance of Sharing TFMR Stories
00:09:55
Speaker
Correct. You cannot talk to this. yes yeah end of I'm so strong on that one because you can do you can cause so much profound harm and trauma that is unnecessary to ah arguably a mother and the parent or partner who are already suffering so much why on earth would you want to add to that it's just beyond even comprehension for me and just seeing so Rachel
00:10:21
Speaker
my other beautiful best friend you know she's been through multiple TFMRs she's also lost her her living daughter and also gone through loss so i think it was never even anything I didn't I never second guessed because I have experience of miscarriage and law and ectopic but I don't have experience of a TFMR I lived experience I've seen friends go through it so I wanted to get those voices on yeah I absolutely love it and I just I can't thank you enough for doing that I think that is exactly what society what culture needs to hear that all losses matter no matter the type of loss no matter the gestation we don't need you to frame it with how far along were you yeah and all those things because that doesn't matter because that parent has a right to grieve the loss of that child however which they need or want to right And then we have beautiful Dani sharing her story with Billy. And, you know, i think it's just so important to have every experience spoken about when they're comfortable. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's about creating safe spaces yeah for people
00:11:31
Speaker
to feel like they can share in its entirety and what parts of it they want to share from their experience as well. yeah And I think society needs to step up and do
Challenging Societal Expectations after Loss
00:11:40
Speaker
more for that. yeah Because I don't think that with other issues like and domestic violence, cancer survivors, we're not expecting those with lived experience to retell their story and story again and again and again and almost add trauma to change the system. Yet with the experience of these losses, it's still so misunderstood. there's still so many false narratives that exist around these losses that we have to still do this, right? Yeah. And something that's really important to me, especially when we're doing the Bound by Love, is we did a podcast, which was, I think I probably had a bit of PTSD experience
00:12:16
Speaker
response to after I had a big shutdown after that but it's it wasn't about me it was about you know Danny had never even shared her story about Billy until she sat down on that chair and I'm a big believer in there shouldn't be any trigger warnings because it is often the people that have never experienced loss that ask for the trigger warnings and I really want and to encourage people to sit in that uncomfortable feeling yeah because these women don't get a choice to go and scroll by.
Advocating Against Trigger Warnings
00:12:52
Speaker
And that was one of the biggest things. And we had such positive feedback. We did, you know, get people saying like, you need to, you can't have ah ah a baby that's not living on the Instagram feed. Please don't ah do that. And most of the time I would engage back and say, this is the reason why we're doing this. And I was met for the most part with a positive response. And I understand it is very ah deeply uncomfortable for people.
00:13:16
Speaker
But I'm really glad that I chose to to make that a stance because... It shouldn't be deeply uncomfortable or uncomfortable because we actually can't manage a lot of these things, right? And baby loss, unfortunately, challenges a lot of this kind of false narrative piece as well. I also remember reading Rachel's piece on the Triggers. I think it was on Mamma Mia many years ago. Yeah, for yeah Four Corners. yeah That was amazing. And she was so, she's such a beautiful, eloquent way of writing in and positioning things so that both sides can see, I think, amazing. But we agree too, we won't put trigger warnings because, yeah, my babies don't deserve a trigger warning. They don't need one. yeahp
00:13:53
Speaker
And we might not have images of our babies because our losses might have happened earlier where we don't have images, but we shouldn't have to censor the conversations around the loss of our babies to meet other people's needs. yeah And you need to hear as well, or they need to hear that, you actually can't make us feel any worse than what we already feel. Like our babies died. Yeah. Like I'm already upset. I'm already in grief. Right. So yeah i mean, we don't need to manage your reaction as well. Yeah.
00:14:20
Speaker
It's just, Rach and I actually had a very healthy, not debate, but I, I came from it from a different lens that wasn't pregnancy loss related, but more from my childhood PTSD. And we were having a very good debate about it and she convinced me I was like yep she's you know what I agree I'm I'm all for it now yeah 100% I can imagine that Let's shift back a little bit because one thing we like to cover as well is that a pregnancy loss, the loss of a baby during in pregnancy is not a moment in
Ongoing Support After Pregnancy Loss
00:14:52
Speaker
time. There is this whole other journey that's wrapped around and needs support. And I know for you personally, your pregnancy after losses, yeah then the postpartum with the babies in your arms, also how difficult pregnancy is for you with your HG experience. think you want to talk a little bit about kind of that as well. Yeah. What that's like.
00:15:09
Speaker
I guess... it's It's all about layers, right? So before I had my son, i was just in this vortex of hell, of trying to have a baby, losing babies and just holding on to any glimpse of hope and that's when lent into you know if I saw a kookaburra a rainbow or any sort of sign I had crystals the whole way out through my house I would you know rub my belly and put essential oils on and anything to just feel hope and then when I went through loss after ah had a living baby it was still very much there
00:15:56
Speaker
But it was in a different way. And then it's just very intense how these waves of grief will just hit you when you're not expecting it.
00:16:08
Speaker
I just remember seeing pregnant women when I was in the thick of, you know, trying to conceive and loss. And I didn't know their story, but it's still it still made me break down and I still have so much trauma from So, you know, that was so dark and so deep. Yeah.
00:16:31
Speaker
yeah And lasting and long and not a moment in time, like society says, that, oh, at least it happened early. You'll be right. Yeah. A week later, we expect you to be fine. Yeah. Right. And we're often not. The most women that we see are absolutely nowhere near fine.
PTSD Statistics Post-Ectopic Pregnancy
00:16:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:45
Speaker
We know that there's research in the UK from Professor Don Bourne that like a fifth of women will have PTSD nine months after an ectopic pregnancy loss. Yeah. Yeah. That's a huge portion. That's at clinical levels. And that's totally the opposite to what we're told by society is, well, an ectopic happens early, so you should be fine.
00:17:04
Speaker
And that's not it, right? No. At all. Especially not with me. I was told so many times, there's no way this is an ectopic. I remember the first time I was admitted into ED, I said, I think I've got an ectopic pregnancy. And I was laughed at, going, oh, Dr. Google.
00:17:20
Speaker
a And, you know, four weeks later, bleeding internally at a sonography getting a scan and being told you need to rush up to hospital or we can call you an ambulance and still to be met with when we don't actually think that this is an ectopic there's no way this is an ectopic I I did in all fairness have a heterotopic pregnancy so a dual pregnancy um one that miscarried and then the ectopic but I still, you know, I saw an image of two fallopian tubes the other day and I'm like, it's fucked. I don't have one. Yeah. I've got one. Yeah. And it's just, yeah, the scars on my belly and the ovulation pain that I get when I ovulate from the side that I don't have a tube. It's it's all of these little things that just are there.
00:18:10
Speaker
Yeah. And the triggers yeahp that people don't see that you see. Yeah. Yeah. There's so much of this that is unseen still. And that's why it's so important that we tell these stories. Yeah.
Community Support and Safe Spaces
00:18:21
Speaker
If you were to give a message to anyone listening today, that's probably just going through maybe the experience of an ectopic or a type of early pregnancy loss, what would you want them to know?
00:18:32
Speaker
it sounds really cliche, but you're really not alone. i think even the Bound by Love t-shirts is a very big representation of that. Just seeing, you know, these people pop up with these shirts and knowing that they've gone through something similar. And I always say to people,
00:18:51
Speaker
get on the Pink Elephants community group on Facebook and just tell your story. You can be anonymous if you don't feel like sharing. it I don't think we had that option back when I was having lot. No, wasn't. No, I remember. Because I remember saying, oh, you can create another account if you yeah Because you kind of were known and I was conscious of that as well. Yeah, but I just think just hearing complete strangers saying, i hope you're okay, I'm sorry this happened to you is so validating. And I think that people...
00:19:18
Speaker
that have never gone through it, even though their intentions are really pure, like friends. And I think that narrative and that conversation is definitely shifting about what do I say to someone going through a loss? But again, I had friends being like, at least you know you can get pregnant.
00:19:34
Speaker
Didn't help. No. Not at all. No. But I think it's just you really aren't alone. Even if you have got, I mean, poor Laura who was on the Bound by Love podcast who has lost two of her beautiful girls, Phoebe and Margot, and gone through horrific HG.
00:19:51
Speaker
I've never met anyone like that. And even if she her story is not the same, she'll still find comfort. and Yeah. Yeah.
00:20:02
Speaker
it's It's really deeply heartbreaking. Yeah, it really is. And I think knowing you're not alone, it might sound simple to us and simple to people that haven't walked this but... There's something so profound about being able to connect with others and land where you are and feel safe to be able to tell your story without fear of minimisation judgement.
00:20:21
Speaker
Yeah. like Because that's a big one. like We hear things like, oh how come my best friend's baby is still pregnant? They're going to get their baby. Why did my baby die? And yeah that's something that would be shared within our communities because people feel safe and they don't feel they're going get judged for that. But it's not something they'd have a conversation with a friend group about. Yeah. Or even just something like...
00:20:40
Speaker
oh they just got married but they're already pregnant yeah something as simple as that you're not actually angry at these people but you can't help for i still feel like that when i see that yeah and you can't help it and it's nothing like there's nothing wrong with you and i think even just saying that in front of you know friends like you can't say that but then if you were saying it to people that have lived it. They go, yep, I get that. Yeah.
00:21:05
Speaker
And that's the power of peer support, right? yeah People who get it because we've walked it too. Yeah. I want to kind of close on a really positive note. Yeah. and So the Bound by Love campaign, as you know, you've heard all about that and we you managed to donate $70,000. I just want to take a moment for that $70,000 for an organization of our size.
00:21:26
Speaker
That was incredible. And yes, we've talked about the impact in terms of just women being able to see other women and being part of a club with
Campaign Success and Future Plans
00:21:35
Speaker
a gentle nod. And that's so incredibly validating when these stories are so minimized. But I also want to take an acknowledgement of the money because that amount to us has allowed us to hire two new counselors who come on board with Pink Elephants next week, quite literally next week. yeah And that allows us to grow our Pregnancy Loss Circle program. And that's basically when you leave hospital and with a baby in your arms, you would often be given a mums group, for example, um where you can connect with other women and you can talk about your sleepless nights and what that's like. But you leave hospital without a baby and you get...
00:22:07
Speaker
Nothing. And so our Pregnancy Loss Circle is a group therapy program that connects other women with lived experience of loss to hold space. It's facilitated by counselors because they give some support as well.
00:22:20
Speaker
But I am just so genuinely excited because that program for so long has been so over ofub subscribed and we have to really sadly say, sorry, we can't fit you in this one, yeah maybe the next one. I don't want to do that because I don't think that's fair. And so by us being able to grow, we can now offer more women than ever before and hopefully that will continue as well. So it's made a real impact. It's making a difference in so many ways. I want you to hear that, like how grateful thank you we are for that.
00:22:47
Speaker
I was completely blown away with how how big it was. And it's exciting to see, you know, what we're going to do this year. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Anita's not already thinking about it. know, right? And it's one of those things, again, like it's like, okay, that's coming around sooner than we realise. can't believe we're in, what are we in? End of March, it's April. No, no, don't. We're going to be at Easter. Yeah. yes thank Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Like genuinely like epic.
00:23:14
Speaker
Thank you.