20. Devil Level (ft. Caleb Pitts)

Transcript

Speaker: I also used to set a timer ah to go off every 10 minutes okay to remind me not to to stop joking around with people. To remind you to not, would you say to not stop joking around? To stop, to stop. How do you know when to start it? I was getting to be too much.

Speaker: I thought, I don't think, i I mean, I had a lot of friends, but I i was very concerned that I had no credibility. Because I did know earlier when you were talking about in middle school, you would slow down yes because you thought it compromised your dignity, which I think is something that middle schoolers do not have about that much and maybe don't have just by just naturally. Yeah, you were trying to like yeah print counterfeit dignity before. Yeah, your time so you had you had a real concern about being a serious person who should whos should be taken seriously and you were trying to sort kind of

Speaker: did you wear a like a little suit you or anything like that? You were a jacket. I did wear so you had a you a number of adaptations. Yeah, little bow tie. i mean, i I think I had the same thing then as now, which is when I'm serious. People think I'm joking. Oh, and when I'm joking, people think I'm serious and I hated it. I was very like self hating about it, even though it was all I did. I think that's a gift. It is now I realize that. Now I realize the side effect will be i can tell someone I'm dating.

Speaker: i think I love you and then it'll be received as like a ah very dry ah Kaufman esque Fielder vibes, which is hot.

Speaker: How did you how did you decide when to set the timer and what device did you use to set the 10 minute timer your watch? I use my wall at a digital watch that deep you would approach a new group of people or ah or a group of people that you already had like a half a halfway decent rapport with and then as soon as you approach the circle, they would hear a beep and then his his attitude would completely change. It was very apparent probably to the people you were talking to what the beep meant.

Speaker: um because you'd immediately very stoically change the subject. I like Matthew, but not when he beeps. He gets dull. off He's really good for ten minutes. He's really and then he kind of gets funny again as we approach nine and then he It's like a completely schizotypal way to interact with someone is to start really strong with sarcasm and jokes and then to flip to small talk and harmlessness.

Speaker: Like now that you trust me, I'm going to become um an introvert. I'm going to become a stranger to you. What kind of things when you were when you were at this age? What kind of things do you wish that yourre you were you would talk about socially? What kind of things? We did you aspire to speak about Yeah, what was the seriousness that you thought you were cut off? What what what points did you want to make?

Speaker: You probably just wanted permission to instead of getting laughs to have people hum and ha and nod with some kind of deep delight when you said the things that were on your mind instead of just saying something that occurred to you and having people erupt into instant laughter. You probably want that one them to really consider it.

Speaker: You probably didn't want to change the things that you were saying. You just wanted people to absorb it. I want people to believe me. Yeah, yeah, You wanted to be trustworthy. I think that's what I did want to say that essentially the same things, but but over the course of the 10 minutes, maybe you would be you would be seduced by the laughing and sort of follow that a little bit. yeah The class clowns curse. I was like being like being drunk.

Speaker: I think that's what it was. I would like leave a social interaction and feel kind of hungover. Like that wasn't that wasn't me or it was. but yeah, why did I say? that yeah why do I make everybody laugh? yeah stupid serious kid.

Speaker: I felt the exact same way. They should have been scratching their chin and in wonder. Right. But I guess that's why you go for laughter eventually, right? Is because it's the most obvious reaction. You can tell that someone's happy or yeah, or like even against their will, they're tickled and they have to make a noise.

Speaker: But you can't really do that by saying something smart. There's no noise associated with that, I guess. huh yeah it's nothing that's you never get a whole group of people going huh at the same time yeah i think this is how people like met him like um sort of insecure smart precocious kids have their they metamorphose from the class clown into a bully i think probably you trying to be serious or have the silly things that you were saying absorbed into seriousness is probably just becoming a bully And the all the grave seriousness with which you were trying to convey these deeply silly ideas were just like you were teasing people making fun of them in such a way as to not have it be laugh out loud funny.

Speaker: At least that's what happened to me when I decided I was going to start being taken seriously. I think I just started being cruel. Right? Yeah. Yeah, because that's the actual self. When you're being a class clown, you're going with the flow of the group. It's very generous. Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah. Like, okay, I see an opening here. This is you're you're sensing like the texture of the conversation. When you go return to yourself with seriousness, it's like, okay, well, now i'm going to throw darts at the ugly kid. Yeah. Instead of instead of let's all kind of laugh at the fatness of the teacher.

Speaker: It's like, let's point to the greasiness of the individual child. Yeah. the kid who's not that good yeah i mean often the only reason to be a class clown is because you have contempt for the conversation or the the group is kind of boring so you're going to make the best of it if you were to actually own that feeling yeah you would just be a dick yeah a nerd also the cruel nerd yeah But it's it's selfless in its own way because then all you invite all the preppy kids and all the jocks to make fun of the cool the cruel nerd.

Speaker: Shut up nerd. Yeah, the class clown is never is never feared by everybody, right? It's always really the most middle of the pack kid. Yeah, because you have all of the kids above who who are untouchable by the class clown because what can you say to these kids?

Speaker: And so the class clown is going to force to torture the underlings of the entire school. Yeah, middle management class for cruelty yeah and bullying. Yeah, exactly. um That's why when anyone asked me like what my relationship with bullying was like, I was like I was both. I was both a bullied and the bull and the bully, but it's really kind of an ineffectual version of both getting. but i was not tormented and I didn't really torment.

Speaker: I was just kind of deflecting the ambient cruelty both inward and outward. But yeah, no, that's a very absolving way to think about that. I wasn't saying anything. It was all deflection. I was just a channel through which ah exactly horrible cruelty seemed to flow. Yeah, I was ah like I said, i mean, it just middle management, but Yeah, I'll say that I was following orders from the exact top kids. I went to school for like three years and the first year i was bullied and then the next two years I was a horrible bully. Yeah, and that was you learn quick. I learned quick. Yeah, exactly. I learned from some of the best.

Speaker: Did you feel like a victim during the second stage while you were bullying? did Did you believe you were still being bullied? No, I thought I was awesome. Okay. I thought I was really i got this I was in sixth grade. I got respect from the eighth graders. They thought that I was funny and then I got to then I went to this like a homeschool co-op afterwards. I got like pulled out of school and I Then I was just trying to make people laugh and there's this one kid who i I would make him laugh and then he would fall asleep and I thought that was so funny to me that I would I would like make him laugh and he would be like like kind of silently shaking and then his eyes would would close and then he would just go completely limp. You're and giving him an epileptic shoes. He's sure. Well, I found out later that that is what it was, but for a long time, I thought that basically my job every week when I came to this co-op was I'm going to try to make him fall asleep. You were the Sandman.

Speaker: Yes, put him down and it got to the point once his parents found out that he was having seizures. I would walk into the building and they would basically move him to the other side of the building and kind of have him be in his own area. You were a cool snoozer. It was so bad that it was to the point where he would see me and he would start kind of like shaking a little bit.

Speaker: and And it was really a ah yeah, I feel bad because I thought I was just making him laugh. That is so psychosexual. Such an awesome way to torment somebody. and I liked him. He was great. We liked each other. We were friends, but he clearly liked you. i mean, it was endangering his life.

Speaker: You made a boy vibrate and lay down. Yeah, just by walking into a room. Yeah, that's true. That's exciting. became a missionary, so. laughing because you're you know you're about to laugh. Yes, it's a victory lap of just seeing he's funny. It's like it's like know he's funny. It is like laughing at this shirt is like I know that that's a very funny cartoon character, right? I think I'll go ahead and laugh at that. Yeah.

Speaker: It's like fear. Yes. It's like when you see something scary. Yeah, it is thinking about it like fear where it's like the thing. The jump scare is never as scary as the tension leading up to it. Right. so But but laughter doesn't have usually that kind of same arc.

Speaker: But for him, it really did. And maybe actually it was just fear. Yeah, there should be a jump scare in a movie where the the character who's going to jump out and scare you was visible the entire time. Yes.

Speaker: just silently following and then at one moment he just decides to yelp and yeah, Jake is head. Yeah, yeah whoa now but yeah, I guess that's comedy. Comedy is like a jump scare where you see the comedians always present. Yeah, you just never know when you never know we're going to talk.

Speaker: That's kind of it's always working right. You never know if the comedian scary either. right? I think you can tell these days though. i mean the the effort of the left is to try to show how scary comedians are and that kind of disarms them, you know, because comedians have a public life and their public life is so public because they're in front of an audience, you know, and everyone can see them. The lights are on, but when the lights are off and the comedians are in their in their private in their private situations, they are very rarely very funny.

Speaker: Yeah, that's when the lights are like when they're asleep or when they're alone. when they're alone. They're not that funny, but you would never know because you can't observe them, right? You can.

Speaker: Right. Well, yeah, chuckle fuckers. You familiar with this term Derek? ah They chuckle fucker. It's just a groupie for comedians. Yeah, well, I guess you do. You do know. I just figured it out. Oh, okay yeah. It's like people who like to have sex with funny, funny comedians. They're turned on. but So that's just everybody. Everybody likes that. but He likes funny people. But in the in the scary genre, it's like a horror horror.

Speaker: Oh yes, that's more like the people who want to have sex with serial killers people who want to have sex. yeah We should call them horror whores. Yeah, that's good. I don't think it's like I feel like we should come up with a better name. Yeah, just no word play necessary slice slots.

Speaker: They're just slice slots. Knife wife's way that aren't they? That's better scream queen. That's what i scream I thought a scream queen was a like a am I wrong that that's not like a ah person who's just in a lot of horror movies. It is that okay, but it could be that to scream cream cream queen cream queen. Let's just get Derrick Queen.

Speaker: Oh, Derrick Queen because it's cream is what I was getting at. No, I already said cream, but Derek Queen is that that's why i said Derek Queen. I think we should move on to Derek Queen. That could be that that's a term for people who want to have sex with you as a Derek Queen Derek Queen.

Speaker: Okay, as long as you're not referring to me. No, we are and they do the yeah the Blizzard test. Derek fucker. The blizzard test. Yeah. What would that be? What's the sexual equivalent of the blizzard test? You guys know the blizzard test.

Speaker: What's the blizzard test? So they turn the blizzard upside down show that it doesn't fall out. Okay. You're talking about the ice cream. It's really it's really not a test anymore. They proved it Isn't that doing this?

Speaker: The blizzard ball. To show? they make ice cream blizzards? I ate all my... Yeah, the the when the Dairy Queen ah blizzard tech shows you the blizzard test, you once you finish it, you have to do the reverse. The polite thing to do is to show your tongue when you're finished. Done.

Speaker: and Done. I'm done. All done. Does that test? Is that even compelling showing your tongue to show that there's nothing in there because you could always hide something under the tongue. Their crannies.

Speaker: There's always crannies in the mouth. just a simple hole. It's not just a place where the tongue is. Also, if you have a topographical tongue like the way I was referring to it is in porn where you show that you have swallowed all all the load. glow But if you have one of those tongues with all the craggles and cracks in it there, you could conceivably just hide them in that. Yeah, like when you score a pork loin. Yes, exactly. And you get like almost barbecue sauce going down this and you could show and I would have beaten on the wiser.

Speaker: I didn't swallow your cum. I didn't fall in the crevices actually hidden all my tongue. Yeah, it's actually everywhere. Save my come for later. i'm not going to. I'm just going to keep it in my tongue. Please swallow my cum one gulp. I don't want you to to. I don't want you to enjoy it all day for What kind of man would say that?

Speaker: Not me. comedian. strange. A chuckle fuckers, right? Yeah, chuckle fuckers. Dude, I don't even think I've met one. a chuckle fucker? Yeah. would You would know him if you saw him. yeah I met one. Dude. Oh, yeah.

Speaker: My ex ah told me, ah mentioned that she had dated a comedian and then immediately told me, well, I don't want you to think I'm i'm someone who just sleeps with comedians or anything. It's not like a pattern for me.

Speaker: And I told her about the word chuckle fucker. So you're saying you're not like a a chuckle fucker. ah and for the rest of our relationship, she that was that was the recurring theme. She thought it was like a word that you made up that I made up and that I called her a chuckle. Well, it's I don't know that it's it sounds derogatory, but it isn't really. Yeah, yeah, it's just I mean it's also is is that the only is comedian the only job that has that kind of a term just for it. That is a great question to sort of open up the nature of our pod is comedian. The only job that makes people laugh.

Speaker: but That wasn't even the question, really the question, but that is good. I was saying, is it the only one that that has earned a

Speaker: It is different from groupie, right? Which is, yeah that implies fucking. yeah But yeah, it's the only term that is... That explicit. Yeah. Groupies aren't even that keen on group sex, which is so ah paradoxical.

Speaker: Yeah, they're competing with each other. want one-on-one with the rock They like the group, but they're only going to sex with one of the guys, probably. yeah Probably a drummer, honestly. Groupies should work together to annihilate the band.

Speaker: And then what would they do? Each of them grabs... It's just like Ed and Eddie. Oh, the Kanker sisters. Yeah, groupies should have a Kanker sister approach to to getting with where they each get sort of ah an analog from the band. Yeah, and they dress like them. This one's tall like me. Yeah, it's baled like me. but Right, but groupies don't organize like that. No, there's well, I won't say they're stupid.

Speaker: they're not the brightest They're not as smart probably as the people in the band. I will i' so i feel safe saying that groupies are blinded by their passion. Groupies also is ah is a group that you can freely say whatever you want about because nobody nobody ever self-identifies as a groupie.

Speaker: So they don't is there's nobody to be really be offended by that. But Chuckle fuckers because they know how the comedy is a social currency at least or it's a sexual currency for them. They I think Chuckle fuckers would self identify. They would say, yeah I'm a Chuckle fucker.

Speaker: And if you think that's funny, just wait till you see my sexual partner. wait till you see who I fuck. Yeah, yeah, really funny. yeah just admire this shit and occasionally partake. But yeah, they're also misunderstood. Just laugh.

Speaker: Have you met someone who identifies as a Chuckle fucker? I have not. No, I guess not. It can't be that hard. They often don't know it themselves. It's just a great place to go and to hook up. right That's how they think. well yeah and The person who's performing is pretty much the obvious choice if you're going to have sex with anybody. i think it is too obvious. It's really obvious. It's kind of lazy to try to have sex with somebody who's on stage. It is lazy. Yeah, it's legit like trying to have sex with um ah Jessica Rabbit or something. Yeah, because there's surely somebody in the audience who is more compatible sexually than the person who's on stage.

Speaker: But you're all, everybody's attention is towards this person. Yeah, it's like the bull trying to have sex with the red curtain. It's not a Kurt. It's a I think it's like somebody in the audience at the Bull Show trying to have six with the bull or the matador. guess no, they should be having bowl probably while the bull does it. Yeah, seeing seeing a what is it called a bullfight seeing a bullfight. The the matador is the comedian and the bull is the mic mic stand.

Speaker: The bull you're saying the bull is the the is an instrument. Yeah, but I've seen comedy be done with no mic stand and I don't think you could do that at a bullfight. It's the mic. It's the mic.

Speaker: Some people even sit down on stage. Yeah, that's becoming more of a Mark Maron. Well, among others, not to mention him by name. Marin, was thinking of Marin. Chappelle, you were? That's who you had in mind? I had no one in mind. Oh, okay.

Speaker: Chappelle has been doing it. for centuries for a really long time. I've done it before. It feels kind of funny to do it. It's a laugh. Do you say a laugh? You say i'm going to so I know I'm doing stand no no no stand up. I'm going to little bit of a reversal, but there is an element of just like it is. i just don't really like standing very much. It hurts. So why not just if you if you're going to sit, it does hurt. It does. It does. You're not. It hurts to stand.

Speaker: You're not. Have you ever tried a standing desk? I don't like I have tried. I don't like it. I don't under. I cannot imagine putting one of those in my house. I can't think all I'm thinking about is stay on these how do I get my knees to kind of yes, exactly straight. Well, they have those weird chairs where your knees are always bent. It's oh yeah, you chair that shit.

Speaker: You don't like those either. i don't like anything. It solves the knee pro comfortable chairs that look like they go in a race car. Those are that's ah basically all I ever want to sit in that were a lazy boy. We should lounge around later. i Yeah, I can't think of a place to do it, but... Recline. If we could do that, that'd be great.

Speaker: A couch would be nice. With the cup holders in. Suede couch with cup holders. Yes, yeah. One that is sold with a bunch of other furniture as sort of an entire setup, and maybe a TV.

Speaker: Here's a genuine thought, is that I think that the way we sit is really crazy, and I feel like a lot of our chairs... Like, we probably should have more of a squat-based sit... sit sit like the our recliners where it's like kind of like a contraption and like it it feels like it's a design to get you basically it's like an air every sea is like closer to a hospital but exactly we should all have like crimes of the future style like something that actually that contorts our bodies into uh beneficial positions yes Well, I do think that the kind of TV that the couch is paired with changes the nature of the couch. Like a broadcast TV with tons of commercials and whatever, you can really settle into your couch like a nest. But like if you're using streaming, if you're like picking your show, then it's like your couch is more of like an airline seat in like a Delta flight or something because you're really engaged with the TV. Yes, and you're not really enjoying the lean. You're you're spending a lot of time doing

Speaker: this like you're in game two of a smash set. Yeah, you're leaning for leaning forward leaning forward to decide and then once you decide the only real like actual lounging that you're doing is the runtime of the thing that you're yeah, so the back of the couch should reflect that for streaming. It's great. It should put put you into what a decline instead of a recline. I just think like there's no should crunch you. in my In my mind, the most comfortable couch is in crunchy. Yeah, streaming. Yeah, and then as soon as you pick something, you should feel the relief in the couch like now just put the remote down and watch the couch should fail minutes and the couch should maybe should maybe tighten up at the longer it takes you to decide on something and then it's this great release where you you've gone from this acute horrible angle trying to decide right and then you finally are free. all Am I imagining that? But the body does contort as it's looking for something to watch, right? I have... Yeah, you you're never... you get stressed out. Yeah, because it's... You're thinking.

Speaker: There's no more comfortable couch to me than my grandparents couch in Oklahoma. This nice way to recliner. They just sit down, turn on NASCAR, and then that's it for 12 hours. see It's amazing. Yeah, you have to get a couch with NASCAR in front of it. This is what is my point. You know, I don't I think the couch wants NASCAR.

Speaker: The couch wants that. And it's weird not to give the couch what it wants. I also think our couch that we all should have together should have USB ports. So those are great. Those are nice, right? Yeah, USB C these days, right? Well, we can have options in case our guests have an older friends over yeah an older phone.

Speaker: Yeah, or maybe even one of the ones that has a dock specifically for the the iPhone built into the couch. Yeah, that's really nice, but then you have to plug in your couch. Mmm, I want I want to feel the couch be able to get energy from your body somehow.

Speaker: Mmm, yeah, but then it makes you cold. Yeah, oh, it drives you out. Oh, it takes your heat and is that what you're saying is that your heat? It could be heat or it could be something else. I mean, maybe all the contorting you're doing would kind of like move some gears, but then you'd have to develop it a couch that is purposefully kind of uncomfortable that you have to find a pocket in sure Yeah, no, you're right. The couch should be gamified. Yeah, it does feel like you should be able to win at the couch.

Speaker: If you sit for five that's hours satisfying about the couch is so often you sit there and you have no goal. Yeah, like oh, I guess I'll just be here forever. Yeah, you get up and you don't know who won, right? That is definitely that's unsettling. I think that, yeah, right now our relationship with couch is like it's always a stalemate. You get up from your couch, you're just like, all right, I guess one of these days one of us is going to win. but Yeah, but it never comes. Yeah. I'll be back. I'll try again later. Right.

Speaker: guess you... Well, you don't want to break a couch unless it's how do you guys feel about sleeping on a couch? So I used to sleep on my couch every night when I was in high school. I sleep on my couch a lot because I don't have a window in my bedroom and it gets real hot, especially in the in the winter. The heat's on and so it's kind of nice to walk out into the living room and the couch is there and yeah it's a really strong alternative to the bed. and Do you dress it?

Speaker: You put like a sheet? Not not that not very often. I'll just kind raw dog it. Yeah, three it's like three in the morning. um I'm like waking up come too hot. I'll go out to the couch. I'll open up the windows. It's a nice lecherous quickie. It's just like ah I mean the couch is like theres a slut bed just like come here. Yeah, yeah, like it's not to act like a couch, but it can. It doesn't have the same barrier to entry as a bed.

Speaker: No, it actually has more barriers to entry the couch. Yeah, on the sides it has the okay. The the there's only one there's only one actual angle. There's one get on the couch. Sure, you know, and I was I was more thinking about the bed. If it's if it's fully tucked in, you kind of have to do a whole maneuver.

Speaker: Oh yeah, tuck in your bed. i yeah, I make my bed. I make my bed in the mornings. you talk You make sure all the like I don't have a top sheet. Okay. Yeah. So I just I bring the i wouldn't please down comforter up. I fold it and then i make sure the pillows are nice and flat.

Speaker: That's a good way to make it. Yeah. How many pillows do you use? I have four pillows on the bed. My wife uses ah the way of course a thick one and a thin one.

Speaker: My wife uses the thick one throws the other one off the bed. I use the thin one and throw the thick one off the bed. So really, we only need two pillows, but they'd be at different heights, and that just doesn't make a lot of sense. If making the bet if the point of making the bed is to get something done in the morning, there should be more things that are there just for you to ah sort of callously discard at night when you're tired so that you can peacefully set it back up.

Speaker: Throw pillars are meant to be thrown, right? i like that's It sounds like that's what you're saying. You'd throw off a useless pillow. do throw off. the useless pillow, but I like this idea. this makes sense to me that you would destroy something at night when you're tired so that you had just so that you have to do it tomorrow just so that you can destroy it again. And if you're sleeping on the couch, you should knock over a lamp and yeah, well it needs to be something you can rebuild. It needs to be it needs to be a puzzle. Jenga tower. jo Yeah, X maybe yeah, something that you can and it it can't take that long to put back together.

Speaker: I guess that's what a night light is. You destroy it at night by turning it off or the light. It's not a night. Maybe like cavemen had to destroy something before they got in the cave.

Speaker: Panther every day. ah bad. I don't know what they did really. All they did a rock destroy. Maybe they couldn't get tired unless they destroyed is what I'm saying. Right.

Speaker: I guess an alarm clock kind of functions like that. But it's reverse. It's reverse, but it's the same. it's you You set it up yeah the night before and then you have to do it. you guys have stand standalone alarm clocks?

Speaker: They say it's good for you. I got one. You do? Yeah. I got one so I wouldn't use my phone first thing. It's horrible. I think that, and i yeah, the the sound is really, really bad, but you get you get so, ah you have such a reaction to whatever the the alarm sound is going to be that it doesn't really matter how grating it is.

Speaker: No, it doesn't. It can be the most pleasant one in the world and then you'll associate it like i've I've put I've set like pleasant alarms before and then I'll hear that same alarm in a TV show. While I'm awake gives you anxiety such anxiety like you have to wake up to another level of consciousness that isn't there. You're just sort of like rising read the shela Yeah, through the water to hit just a ah metal ceiling i to awaken. Yeah,

Speaker: But that's why I can't sanction, even though that I agree with that logic, but the one that's like there the pure sort of nuclear alarm that people use for their wake-up. Are you thinking, eh, eh, eh, or wah, wah, wah? Yeah, that one. The the SpongeBob ah horn one. Yeah. I don't like that one. or like Yeah, it's like the real siren, like, eh, eh. Yeah. I can't.

Speaker: Sanction that I hate that one. Yeah, even though it's arguably the most most effective one. I think yeah, what are your alarm sounds? What yours? I just views vibrate when it's time to wake up, but I don't use an alarm clock anymore because I'm always waking up.

Speaker: Something has happened to me where I never oversleep anything. I'm always so anxious that I'll wake up an hour before whatever I have to do. Yeah, yeah, that's if you set an alarm, you'll wake up before it. Yeah, yeah, I wake up one minute before my alarm.

Speaker: That's good. I probably said this on the on your pod before, Caleb, but I think ah I haven't used the actual alarm clock function in years. I only use the timer, and I set a timer for myself instead alarm. For how long you're going to be in bed.

Speaker: Yeah. What? That makes sense. You predict how long you're going to sleep? What's the point of that? Well, it's the same as an alarm clock. It's the same as an alarm it doesn't go off, you said, right? No, it goes off. i don't use it I don't use it anymore, but back when I used to use my phone to wake up, I would set timers instead of alarms. That makes sense. It's more you-centered.

Speaker: You're not talking about like the timeline of the day. deliberate. I do it every single night and the time that I'm setting is relative, is related to exactly how much sleep I'm going to It gives better conception of how much sleep you're going get. Yeah, yeah, Without you having think about it. don't understand.

Speaker: Why don't you understand? What do you mean? You don't set it towards the time. You just put six hours or seven hours. But wouldn't you just be doing that anyway if you were setting an alarm? I wouldn't be doing it anyway. You're not thinking about when you're waking up. thinking much time You're thinking about you have.

Speaker: yeah and it probably does. You probably do make the calculation of what time it will be. I'm literally making micro adjustments so that it goes off at exactly when I want it to. so It's literally a more difficult version of setting an alarm, but I do. I guess that's what I'm thinking. It just sounds like a weird backwards way to do it.

Speaker: It's odd, but I understand the point. Yeah, there is no point. Okay, so let's stop doing it. It's simply a different approach. Yeah, it's odd.

Speaker: Well, I'm a side sleeper. Really? I really want to be a stomach sleeper because it feels so comfy, but it's so bad for you. I fall asleep on my stomach every night. it's really bad for you. I fall asleep on my stomach every night, but I wake up on my back.

Speaker: Why is it bad for you? too Yeah, it hurts. It's bad for your neck. It's really bad posture. You sort of have this like for your lungs. Don't babies do that, though? Well, babies are not good at anything. You're supposed to sleep on your back with like a pillow under your knees or something. No pillow on your head.

Speaker: right? I really can't sleep on my back. psychotic. My dad sleeps on his back every night. It is so psychotic psychotic. Well, your dad was in the military. laid down They probably would shoot him. And he is your better. He's better than me. Yeah, he is better than you. So that does make sense to me yeah you live longer. He's not better than you because you can sleep anywhere you want.

Speaker: Okay, thanks. Yeah, I guess you're right. You're better than him. And he's old. And he's married to your mom. You would never do that. That's a win.

Speaker: He's pissing me off. Props to him. No props to you. You gotta give it up for your dad. He sleeps a well. With your mom. With my mom. So awesome. My dad slept with my mom.

Speaker: yeah I guess that's true of all of us in way. Just once. At least once, yeah. My dad's mom just died and right after my mom made her profile picture on Facebook, her with her dad and like really flexed on my dad. I got a living one.

Speaker: it's Really funny. I haven't, we haven't recorded in almost a month too, right? No, I guess we did. are Are we ever going to release the 48 Laws of Power one? I forgot about that one. That's why i didn't come out great.

Speaker: That's the only reason didn't come out. Maybe. Oh, really? I forgot until you just said it. Yeah. Did you guys read the book? um Just reading the table of contents, which is really all you need. We read a little bit of the book. I've hidden the fact that I've actually read the book like five times. It's sort of my Bible, but i was sort of embarrassed to tell that to you guys.

Speaker: That's why I'm on this podcast because my my familiar with it. Yeah, I eat these to to good use the 48 laws. It's very repetitive though. Are you familiar with it? Caleb? Have you read it?

Speaker: I've never read it, but I've heard I've seen 50 cent talk about it. Yeah, was he in prison? um I hate to say yes, but yeah, you had to have been.

Speaker: Well, that's the thing about the 48 laws of power is they wrote a sequel together 50 cent collaborated with that guy and they had a book called like the 50th law or something. Oh, because 50 cent I was going to say 44 others wait in the response to popular reputation of his work in unethical book. He said you responded he could count maybe four or five laws that are overtly manipulative and there are 44 others that are not mean manipulative at all.

Speaker: Okay, that is a great way of saying that my book is useless. He then continues by saying that you if you can't manipulate with these laws, why read this book? He then continues by saying that people cherry pick the chapters that are most egregious. It's very funny to call parts of your own work most egregious and then call that cherry picking. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yes, I was very attention to the egregious shit. They just don't like the heinous, which I wrote.

Speaker: Is there a word for the opposite of cherry pick? I guess astro turfing. Is that the opposite of cherry pick is the yeah? You think all of Astro is the opposite of cherry. What is it called when you fill something with a bunch of filler and fluff so that you can ah have so that you have some cover or alibi for all of the heinous things?

Speaker: guess that is astro turfing. There is another term. Right. Well, anyway, what he's doing is the reverse of cherry picking cherry flooding. Yeah. Apple flooding by writing a book with four egregious chapters. And he's like, this is I think I wrote my comp.

Speaker: I should inject it with a bunch of useless bullshit that is harmless. Like, um You know if if four of the chapters are about lying and cheating and stealing, I should make ten times as many chapters about ah ah not being rude, being perfectly still for hours on end. Yeah, that helps you acquire power, right?

Speaker: ah Matt ah speaking of these stupid Reddit questions that we often do on this podcast earlier Matthew is talking about his childhood and it made me look at the ah gifted subreddit and I saw there's this ah question on the gifted subreddit says gifted partner or no for the gifted people here who are above 20 or of just dating experience in general would you prefer a gifted partner or a non gifted one just a curious question what fits you better.

Speaker: This is a subreddit for for the for adult being deemed gifted as a child in and being in some kind of gifted program and then growing up. I think that's who uses the subreddit. I don't know. who It's not just people who are generally identify as gifted talented guys for people who generally identify as gifted. And in fact, it seems like a lot of them aren't in or weren't in gifted programs.

Speaker: They just self-identify. They think that they could have been if they had. I feel gifted. Okay. The top post in here is from the auto moderator. Thank you for posting in gifted. If you'd like to explore your IQ and whether or not you meet gifted standards in a reliable way, we may ah recommend checking out the following test. Unlike most online IQ tests, which are scams and have no scientific basis, this one was created by members of our partner community, Cognitive Testing.com.

Speaker: So they're not even taking an IQ test to determine if they're gifted. They're taking a test developed by a subreddit. Oh, okay. So gifted is an entirely different category than IQ or intelligence.

Speaker: It's simply like a school category that they're holding on to. I'm very low IQ. It's like being an adult. But if were take gifted test in my public school, I'd probably... it's It's like being an adult and in identifying as an accelerated reader or something. Yeah, it's basically like i believe in the concept of eugenics, but i don't have any evidence that I would be selected.

Speaker: basically I feel like it's basically once you a once you age past being able to project your intelligence to a grade that's above what you should be in. So because you can't say I'm I have a twenty fifth grade idea of something, so you have to say you have to come up with some ah alternative.

Speaker: It is so crazy or you are how fucking traumatizing school is that people are just like fuck I still have dreams about the gifted program thinking if my brain were undeveloped, it would be more developed than my peers.

Speaker: It's so sad though to be like, I mean, I'm in my thirties. I just got diagnosed as gifted. It turns out I could have been gifted this whole time. I've just wasted most of my life being I thought I was normal. Were any of you in a gifted program in school? We all i think we talked about this. We all were. Yeah, were but I got kicked out a weekend for complaining that it was too hard.

Speaker: It was okay. I thought I feel like my conception of it was that they put you in there and you don't have to do anything. It's kind of it's like the X-Men Academy. You're with kind of all the everyone has their own freak power and you're I remember practicing a really sophisticated scowl when a girl I didn't like got selected for the gifted program after I yeah, after you got unceremoniously you practice it or you I remember stopping everything that i had. we had to do like silent work that day and I remember putting my pencil down and just you wanted her to be ashamed of her gifts.

Speaker: It was all for me. She was gone. She was out of the room. I just decided I was going to be evil with respect to giftedness that day. Yeah, and it was Carly. Do you know? do you have any idea of what these gifted people have gone on to do in their adult lives?

Speaker: I think they still kind of have like flammy sounding voices and protect her. Yeah, they're nerds. Yeah, I wonder what Robert Bishop is up to. they're They're the smartest scientists in the world and they're getting bullied by janitors and garbage guys.

Speaker: No, I don't know what they're doing. What could they be doing? Nothing. Fuck them. I remember a few names for my gifted program Jason. Joaquin you could Google that. Yeah, they were friends so i could probably connect. Yeah, they're probably still friends. Yeah, Joaquin Jason a gifted child would know how important it is to have lifelong kind of connections and I'm sure Jason and Joaquin are still together.

Speaker: So this question is would you prefer a gifted partner or a non gifted one? I feel like I would prefer non-gifted. I don't want somebody who's going to be tormented by questions that I can't even understand. Yeah, like how big is the galaxy? Yeah, stuff like that. Every time that it's night, they're looking up telling me how big everything is. Did you know that that star is actually light years away? But I feel like if you have a non-gifted partner, if you're gifted, they wouldn't be able to like kind of relate to your plight.

Speaker: Well, that's true. When you're wondering about the nature of time. Yeah, they're just going to be interested in television or maybe their next meal. Yeah, their next Happy Meal. Yeah, they probably fast food pretty often. Yeah, they probably eat fast food and like they' like toys.

Speaker: Meanwhile, I'm i'm struggling. I'm toying with ideas. yeah and I'm unhappily meeling. Meeling

Speaker: Yeah, well, Pierce, it sounds like you were betrayed by your crush. You joined the gifted program. Oh, there isn't even my crush that. No, no, no, not much. I actually don't think you ever even said crush, but now we've discovered not much. So maybe a little bit. She was your crush. I just assume girls are crushes.

Speaker: If you remember a girl, she must have had an effect on a girl from yeah, just one of those old girls from then. Yeah, she meant nothing to you though. No, But do you think your experience with the gifted program is now do you do you not? You don't like gifted people. I don't like gifted people. I think they're stuck up.

Speaker: i I've been talking to my wife about this that I i really have a I really don't like very good looking people when I first meet them. Of course. Yeah, is that that's it? But there's so they live out their whole lives. People like them kind of instantly, but but that's why they turn into monsters. I know. I think that's a good instinct to have when you meet a really handsome person.

Speaker: They kind of have to work for it, a right? You have to like make sure they're not going to instantly stab you in the back because this this is how they treat people. I think they appreciate that with impunity. I think it's probably ah they want to work for it. They want to if they if they're a good hearted person, they'll see what you're doing and they'll say, you know, you've spotted me. You're right. I'm handsome and now I'm going to show you how genuine I can be. Thank God this repulsive person is testing me.

Speaker: Yeah, there's nothing. show ah Handsome people respect more than a repulsive bitter like frank with a you're not a throw grind. Yeah, I think ah and I'm very I'm always very pleasantly surprised if somebody is a is a decent person and good looking. That's very impressive to me.

Speaker: I think that's a hard thing to do. Then I will truly become their slave. Yeah, they they are wonderful yeah I really do just start respecting the idea of a monarchy when I mean a handsome yeah and capable and nice person. You really can be perfect.

Speaker: Your good qualities are not are ah ah do not lead to having negative ones necessarily. You can simply just be wonderful. You could. I was recently telling somebody about ah my psychiatrist. I see a psychiatrist once a month and they were like, um you know, does that help you at all? was like, well, no, I only talked to him for a half hour a month. We mostly talk about what medication I'm on or whatever. And they're like, ah you know, you should really just get somebody else.

Speaker: They were sort of down on it. But then I said, um like, he's really handsome. He he he sort of looks like ah Brad Pitt. Truly, he's handsome guy. And then after that, they were like, oh, yeah, maybe he is good.

Speaker: like that convinced them really quickly. They were like, well, he must be something to this guy. It's healing to spend time with some of the things that I usually have the opposite complaint about very smart people where they do think they're uglier on this is giftedness. i Yeah, I think i think giftedness is a way for adults to police ugliness and filter ugliness into something useful and that Now that i'm thinking about it, I think my piercing blue eyes is what what disqualified me from being in the gifted program for longer than a few days. People don't know, but Pierce is just a nickname. Yeah, it's a nickname I got back in the gifted program, and it's what all the ugly kids called me as a way to diminish. Pierce. Yeah, you already have a gift, and it's not your intelligence. You're brilliant externally, visually. So you're probably dull and dark on the inside. Yeah, they were convinced of that.

Speaker: um And I guess, like, are there there they probably don't make the most handsome and beautiful teachers in charge of the gifted program. They probably give it to the most witch-like and warlock-like. But smartest.

Speaker: Yeah, yeah. But if you're witch-like and warlock-like, you're probably also going to go trend towards, like, the more esoteric, alchemical aspects of knowledge. Right, not like the math. No, not like Yeah.

Speaker: Which is for handsome people. I think this theory is correct. I was in a gifted and highly gifted magnet as a kid, and everyone knew who was gifted and who was highly gifted. Just by looks alone. By looks alone. The highly gifted people were significantly less attractive.

Speaker: No, we all told each other. You just told each other you were highly gifted? The highly gifted kids told everyone that they were highly. Was that an official category, though? So even within the gifted school, they felt the need to stratify this.

Speaker: Yes. and And just so you know, i'm I'm not bringing this up to say I was highly gifted. I was gifted. You were gifted. I was merely gifted. highly gifted highly gifted. i don't know what highly it truly means quite ugly. There's nothing else it could possibly mean not not easy on the eyes. Yeah to be highly. gift There's no such thing as a high gift gifts or gifts. You know, well, being not easy on the eyes is challenging. That is like giving someone a hard math problem.

Speaker: It's like all right, figure out how to look at me for like a sociable time. It's going to be hard. It's not pleasant. easy Talk to me without being distracted. Yeah, I look. Yeah. um Well, good. I would. Can I answer it? Can i answer this? Talk about how we would answer it.

Speaker: ah I would choose the ungifted person. Help them. I would want to help. But like be could an un gifted person ever truly become gifted? Well, they can't be helped.

Speaker: I think is that's the truth. Yeah, right. It's a life not in the way that a gifted person might want to help them. They can be helped materially. You can give them gifts. Yeah, but they'll never say they cannot be gifted. Yeah, I think it's a good question because um it's if we if we tie it back to a question of looks.

Speaker: I think it's just do you do you want to punch above your weight and date someone who is dull, but beautiful? This is just the question. This is the question that's been plaguing people forever. Yes, care more about what's on the inside. Yeah, it's a meeting to ask that of course. They found a very gifted way to phrase it. Yeah,

Speaker: Oh, memory beyond the matrix. Yeah. So this is a ah subreddit called awakened. um Awakening is the realization that far more can be found in direct experience than any concept, belief system or narrative.

Speaker: The process of awakening is an ever unfolding unfolding one, a deepening of that which is beyond all words and thoughts. This is kind of like a new age um schizo stupid ass subreddit. Yeah, it has a lot of readers.

Speaker: has a lot of readers. People really want to awaken. It's true. Yeah. it it It has posts such as towards a consciousness revolution, uniting science, spirituality, and human potential.

Speaker: um But enough about that. I found a post on here. There's a post ah called what is money trying to teach me that I found fascinating. Maybe one of you guys want to read it.

Speaker: Sure. What is money trying to teach me? So I'll keep it brief. I'm sure we all have that one thing that constantly comes up in our journey in different ways. Mine is money. While I understand that money is just an idea with value and in the grand scheme of things, it's a tool and not real, I grew up with my parents always struggling, then into me and my young family struggling.

Speaker: Then when I divorced and went on when on my own a bit of struggle, but then for almost a whole year, I was making more money than ever. And at that time, I was kind of stupid with money at times. Right now, I'm the kind of the lowest I've ever been with finances, starting a job Monday and being out of work since earlier last year. and I've previously quit my job with no plans on how to support myself, but I was so burned out from everything, I didn't care.

Speaker: To be honest, shit has worked out so far, but I feel as always thinking about or having to be around the lack or abundance of money." I wish money wasn't a thing because it's not the money itself, but the greed attached to it I have a problem with.

Speaker: I say I don't care and shit will work out, yet the pink meat computer likes to remind me that I'm almost fucked with money and it's the end of the world. My question is, could this be something that for some reason keeps coming up that I need to address more deep down? or is it just part of a living in this reality?

Speaker: I know the chop wood carry water line, but I am not supposed to just be... not supposed to just always be in the job that I hate to provide money to live while wasting my life besides money. I'm pretty decent.

Speaker: I guess we all have our thing just wondering the best way to balance between money is fake and money is a tool needed to survive. Thanks y'all and good mojo to you. This person thinks his interest in money is a personal sort of like idiot fascination. Yeah, it's some sort of a money spiritual obstacle. Yeah, money. I require money to pay for things.

Speaker: How do you dollars keep believing that money is real? I'm distracted by the truth that it's fake. It sounds like his goal. It sounds like his belief is that money isn't real.

Speaker: It's just a symbol, right? it's not real. What is it about me that money seems to be involved? Why is it so real? It keeps coming up in journey. Yeah. I can just imagine the his wife's ah divorce lawyer kind of finding a bunch of these kinds of posts and being pretty pleased with how everything is gone. Yeah, it's not admissible, but it gives him a nice way to crack his knuckles before bed. This is going to be a pretty easy, I think. Yeah, it sucks because like you can run out of something that doesn't exist. You can starve. Yeah,

Speaker: You can die for lack of something that doesn't even exist. How cruel is this world? Yeah, I know as a gifted as a former gifted student. I do know that this is all bullshit. Yeah, you're going to see through it, but yeah, he's like I know that the money isn't real, but there is some element of he you. You think he's kind of trying to tell them to to like coyly be like money is real. like I get that it's not real, but why is it that when I don't have it, everything is so bad. There's something about it.

Speaker: I'm awakened. Trust me. I'm awakened. We all know that this money feels like maybe he's an agent of the matrix, then right? Neo. Yes, he's he's trying to convince them. I said I don't care and shit will work out yet. The pink meat computer likes to remind me that I'm almost. That's an obvious that inclusion. I think is an obvious if this is some kind of op from the pink meat. Whoever is keeping people asleep. Just your brain.

Speaker: This person really is just my brain tries keep reminding me. It's another thing that they're basically saying is not real is your brain. My my spirit my spirit is free. I've awakened on the spiritual level, but my my mind keeps dragging me back to this point. You might as well starve to death and die, right?

Speaker: If none of this is actually ah interesting to you at all, and this is all crap holding down, then just pass away. I know my body is just superficial, superficially, once round once yeah my superficial body wants susten. What is money trying to teach me?

Speaker: That's an awesome reply. Experiencing reality is the ultimate luxury. Someone dying in a ditch. You're experiencing reality. you're This is the ultimate luxury. This food I bought isn't real. I bought with money, which is fake. It says here, when scroll down, it's not that life is short. It's that we spend it doing things for green paper that most don't like doing. This time off has been amazing and very enlightening.

Speaker: What is the obsession with taking things and you describe them by a color? and then sort of a very like the color is not diminutive. Oh, it's merely green. Fuck about that. It's just green. It's just school. Yeah, it's green. It's pink. Who cares about my brain? Yeah, it's not invisible like my spirit, which is so free. It's not clear. Anything isn't clear.

Speaker: If it has if it has opacity, it's basically bullshit. It's so funny to get enlightened and to not think of like you. You have a choice when you're enlightened. You can think of money as the root of all evil and imbue it with this tremendous spiritual potential or say it's just shit. Right. fuck it. Nothing's the root of anything. hearing like shit If you're if you're in life and you really should come to the conclusion that everything is real.

Speaker: Exactly. that Everything is no more. This is powerful and nothing is shit, not even shit. Even shit is the most glorious shit is the sun and the sun is a star. Everything should be.

Speaker: but it's just like yeah, the big bright yellow ball of shit in the sky. is a color. It's just colorful. Yeah, my wife color. My wife just popped out a white lump from her pink shit.

Speaker: I'm celebrating the birth of my first pink. Great. I'm holding the white lump down. Awesome, because that's what I have to do. I shot a white lump into my wife's pink lump and a fucking lump came out. And now society expects me to engage in love to spend green on the white.

Speaker: ah Why and now I have to support my child because of my greed, I guess I told my doctor that I'm awakened and he still told me that I have a green lump sum to but that I owe to the hospital and he gave me blue pills.

Speaker: What is just a red pill? It's not even doesn't even anything.

Speaker: that's what he should have said. He's like okay great yeah, some a stupid red pull. Let's say blue like I'm going to eat just a red pill. Great. I'm just fucking white. Yeah, cares? I'm just a white guy. I'm eating these pills that are just made out of chemicals. i took a red pill, but now I woke up in a red bath and I met some black guy.

Speaker: Great. Oh great. My whole world is just green code, but that's actually low key real. It's just an agent. It's just just's a white guy in a black suit trying to fight me and my white girlfriend, and it's all just green letters at the end of the day. So who gives a fuck?

Speaker: No, no, Neil, you're out of the green letters. It's just a blue world. Yeah, the world is just gray. who cares? Trinity is just a nice lady. You

Speaker: you know, you can see the world for what it is. Yeah, it's gray. and there's some blue and some yellow, but it's really just a color. think it's money isn't even that green. No, yeah, it's hardly green. No, it's yeah, that's someone trying to convince you that the world don't worry, it's hardly green. Yeah, and it's not even paper. It's cloth.

Speaker: This is genuine people say don't see it's green paper. It's an off green gray box. Yeah, it's gray, right? Yeah, yeah, it's You should read this Matthew. yeah This thing I'm looking at right now. I mean i the title is really amazing.

Speaker: I'll read the title and if you want I'll read the rest. I was a fat addicted loser. Now I'm 80% freer than most. Here's how I did It was on the subreddit my oh no, it's not my journey. It's tagged my journey. Yeah, most of these are tagged my journey. I'll be awakened subreddit.

Speaker: Should read this? Is this excellent? Read it. Okay. I haven't read it. ah used to be a fat, addicted loser living in my mom's house. Rock bottom wasn't some movie moment. It was me lying in bed at 3 a.m., my parents drunk and screaming, and I just snapped.

Speaker: That night, I swore never again. I went on a full reset. Not perfect, not rich, but I'm now more free than 80% of people sleepwalking through life. This is how I broke out of a system designed to keep you broke, sick, and weak, inside and out.

Speaker: One. Mind. Your mind is cooked by cheap dopamine. The system profits from your distraction and mental illness, scrolling, porn, social media, cut it all.

Speaker: Sit in silence, face your thoughts, reclaim your clarity. One. There's so something with the formatting. One. Or is it? One.

Speaker: Money. Money is leverage. Build an emergency fund for three to six months. Track your spending. Cancel stupid expenses. Don't blow your whole paycheck. Stability gives you freedom to move when it's time.

Speaker: One body eat real food. no fast food. No microwave dinners want to lose weight. Eat less move more want to gain eat a lot more with more track your calories adjust stay consistent your body is your armor.

Speaker: Treat it like it matters. Just adjust keep adjusting. One sleep sleep is the foundation of everything. That's why it's one eight hours minimum.

Speaker: No compromise invest in a proper bed um sheets and a sleep friendly setup. I use bamboo sheets and a hybrid mattress. Those guys like us. Yeah, if I don't sleep right, I tend to crash.

Speaker: One leverage money is leverage. I work a job I hate, but instead of wasting my free time, I actually use it. I time block my goals.

Speaker: I wear a watch. I do the bare minimum leverage at work and go all in at home. Discipline builds leverage. Leverage builds freedom. I go all in at home. Yeah, I so i when I'm at home, I'm actually in there.

Speaker: I fixed these five pillars. Mind, money, body, sleep, leverage, and my body is a thousand percent better. My life is a thousand percent better. My life. Did I say wife? You said body.

Speaker: My body my life is a thousand percent better. I'm not rich or shredded yet, not by any means yet, but I sleep in peace. I'm climbing every day. Next stop total freedom.

Speaker: Let this post remind you you don't need luck. You need clarity, discipline and time. The system is broken, but you don't have to be. So system should have made me free 80 percent freer than most, but I had to do it on my own.

Speaker: How do you come to the number 80 percent? I was wondering that just eyeball it. I imagine I'm i'm probably eighty percent freer than most. You can kind of clock a guy when you're walking around. You're like that less free, less free than him. I'm more free than this person. one out of every five people I meet is clearly superior to me, but that's just a small twenty percent minority.

Speaker: He's still living. People are worse off. He's still living with his mother, right? He hasn't moved out. It doesn't say that all he does is p play. He's just pledged to move out soon. He's getting better sleep at his mom's house. I'm waiting you than everyone else because I'm on the way to moving out of my mom's house.

Speaker: Here's what all I had to realize was that there's a I have to I should try to move out. Yeah, that has made me so much freer. His parents are drunkenly fighting over jeopardy and he's like I have to get some leverage.

Speaker: I have to have leverage really soon. my parents are arguing and I'm an addicted fat loser. I'm going to start sleeping better and they'll see. Yeah, no, I'll see how much leverage.

Speaker: Maybe when my body is a little healthier, I'll have the motivation to move out and kind of pursue some my passions, right? I don't have any passions right now. i just like to climb and eat and sleep.

Speaker: I wonder what he was addicted to. It sounds like porn. It sounds mainly like porn. Yeah, porn and social media and sort of the porn that soft core porn. You don't try of find on social media. i tend to jack off to a lot of my yeah former friend group, right? Right.

Speaker: um But now I'm better than my parents even who drunkenly fight. hate these losers giving me a place to rest. Soul Nexus. Yeah, there's another subreddit full of ah schizo spiritual new age freaks called Soul Nexus I look at sometimes. um This is a I think this is a good post. Would would you like to read it?

Speaker: I will read it. Reincarnation is like playing a video game. reincarnation samsara is like a video game characters are made played and then quit new characters are made played and quit like an addict the players keep coming back to play more and more characters characters interact with other characters the players form relationships that span the creation and destruction of characters Players may re-meet each other as new characters and play out their relationship further.

Speaker: To be enlightened is to become aware of the nature of the game as a game and to begin to become unaddicted to it, to become sober from it, to no longer need it, to see the fruitlessness of treating a video game as a serious life or death scenario or as a means of salvation, to lighten up, to no longer identify as a stable, unchanging entity within the game, but to realize that any experience within the game is just a part of the game.

Speaker: Thoughts are game thoughts. Emotions are game emotions. Sensations are game sensations. The sense of I is this is a game sense of I. The mind is a game mind. Every experience here is an experience within a game. Yeah, probably could have stopped there, but then goes dreams are game dreams. Fantasies are game fantasies. Situations are game situations. Enemies are game enemies. Partners are game partners. Pets are game pets.

Speaker: jobs are game jobs. It is not worth staking an identity in any of this as it is like a game. They just on the word youly I think this is a helpful way to think about your life for some people. Probably it ain't real baby. It's a little bit of a just gaming of a way to distance yourself from the seriousness of everything but by just adding one word to the front of it right? Yeah, which is that I have a game pet. I don't it doesn't matter Yeah, it's a game. I'm not going to get that attached to my children and pets. It's just like the money thing too, but there's a lot of people who think about this shit, especially after they become awakened and they use the word shit instead of game. And they're just like, this is a shit life.

Speaker: Shouldn't worry about it too much. This isn't so much a judgment value though as a like understanding of the of how serious it is. Right. But I think it's a misunderstanding of how people play games. That is true.

Speaker: People don't play games thing. That is just a fucking yeah, it's bullshit. The idea that a game there's really no point to play a game. I guess I'll touch the controller. Yeah, but it is silly.

Speaker: Yeah, I mean if this were true, the way you would believe it is that the word game the prefix game would be fun. Yeah, fun and very serious and engaging. Yeah, why would you want to if you're playing a game of i'm playing this video game? I guess I should not really.

Speaker: I guess it doesn't matter well or enjoy myself. Well, I think the point is that um Sam Sara reincarnation is like a game in that you know things are getting obliterated characters are being taken out and blown apart all the time, ah but it's fine. You just started to come back. Yeah, you start because you're ah was it say you're ah ah you're addicted You're addicted to being reincarnated.

Speaker: players keep coming back to play more and more characters. So I'm addicted to this life. I love living and I I i I'm so invested. I wish I hate that's ridiculous because it's a game life and I guess the whole point is at some point in your life. If if you ah become enlightened, you realize it's all ah you don't care about life and then when you die, you won't get reincarnated and that's sort of the ultimate goal. This game is on you don't get to play characters anymore. It sounds like depression.

Speaker: Yeah, that like this this is encouraging you to be the worst person to play a game with. Yeah. Just like, whatever. You're playing Monopoly and you're just like, this is fucking fake bullshit. song it sounds like this person is losing whatever game this is and gets to kind of be like, it's just a game to me.

Speaker: Yeah. Oh, I wouldn't want to be good at this game anyway. You're not really someone who doesn't like me. You're just a character where who this is a game situation. Yeah, the whole point of any good game is to forget that you're playing it and to become absorbed by it, right? Like ah so for this person, the point of the game is to figure out that it's not real.

Speaker: right there. Probably there was a way to disprove the reality of this. Yeah, this person would hate lucid dreaming because there's no point me on the other hand. quite enjoy lucid dreaming, right? I actually have it's something I can win. actually seek lucid dreams out right.

Speaker: That's what makes me different. I'm going to reach some sorrow at some point here. We all play the game differently. yeah That's what makes us so interesting. People should check out Gamer Church. It's ah this ah guy who did Minute hour ah is doing something called Gamer Church. He probably isn't doing so too much of it lately, but he has a song in the church called, I think it's called God's a Gamer.

Speaker: And it's like a really fun folk song about how God's a gamer and that the point of life is for fun. It's fun. It's good. That's a more positive take. Yeah, that a game is a fun thing. Yeah, it's fun to do.

Speaker: God's a gamer. God plays a game so insane it will blow your mind. That's one of the lyrics of the song. It's pretty good. Permadeath instant autosave. That's the game we live. It's interesting.

Speaker: Whoa. R slash advice. I slammed my boss's daughter who I met on Tinder. I had no idea she was her daughter. I had no clue. They don't give last names on Tinder and obviously don't have my boss on Facebook.

Speaker: I go to work each day wondering if she knows and when she will approach me about it. It's unbearable. Should I just quit? I have options. Why does he think that the daughter is going to one disclose that she had sex with somebody to her parents and then also specify I'm pretty sure you work for you. Yeah, the name of this Oh, you'll never guess who I got slammed by. go ahead. Guess, guess, guess. You should you should fire him. Yeah, or you know what? Make him quit. Yeah, he was good too.

Speaker: Would you slam your boss's daughter? That's not really a like a taboo sexual thought situation. It's more of a sitcom situation slamming your dog. You're the boss. it's It's maybe about the boss usually and not so much about the dog. The boss's child has nothing to do. would I do it on accident without knowing. Yeah, what I match with my boss's daughter on Tinder, but you wouldn't seek it out.

Speaker: No, no, that's weird. I do think if you knew it was your boss's daughter, it wouldn't feel like a slam. Exactly. Yeah, no, not really a slam. It would feel like sex. Yeah, just feel like love. yeah Yeah, she's no longer just some hoe, right? Yeah, is one my worst honor this she's a boss with dad with a my boss's daughter if i loved her.

Speaker: Okay. That is a good answer. Yeah. You should only slam if you're in love or or if your current girlfriend got hired by or was adopted by your boss, then you could slam. You could slam your girlfriend. I would have strongly discouraged that.

Speaker: Don't get adopted. Don't get adopted. Don't get adopted. Don't get adopted by my boss. Please don't. I've definitely slammed bosses daughters.

Speaker: Not mine, but yeah I definitely um i I'm not thinking back, but I'm sure some of people I've had sex with We're bosses daughters. Yeah. Yeah, it would be good to have that information in the moment because I'm sure it's like a fun sort of sexy thing to say that your dad has many people under his employ. Well, this is the mother. That's the boss in this situation. Oh, really? Yeah.

Speaker: Wow. Wait, what that changes stuff? The mother is the boss. The mother's the she might tell her mother who she slammed because daughters talk to mothers yeah like that, like that.

Speaker: They're a little more open. Right, I think that's why, does that change your guys' mind? mind It would make, I do think I would be a little more worried. Worried about this. I wouldn't be worried, I feel like I might even get like a promotion or something.

Speaker: use Well, depends on and how good you are at slamming. ah How good you are at slamming. That's true. have to read books on that. WikiHow. How to slam. That is like a move people do, right? Like, i'll I'll marry the boss's daughter.

Speaker: and slam her. This is again. This is more like a course on thing. This happened still what was needing to marry the boss's daughter in order to get a promotion. Doesn't happen in America, right?

Speaker: No, people don't not in civilized wealth here, not in civilized societies like America. I don't yeah love marriages. Yes, labor laws have disentangled the boss's daughter from the corporate hierarchy. There used to be a lot of provisions in the company ledger that said and the boss's daughter should so on and so on. But I think recently because of woke we struck out all of those little and struck men rewrote them. so Boss's daughter is irrelevant. You shouldn't be factor her into this at all. Think about her too much. She's beautiful flammable.

Speaker: Yeah, the devil is whoa just saw a post that said if the devil is real, maybe he's the good guy. Well, I'm curious about that. That's a that's from the deep thoughts subreddit.

Speaker: The devil is real. Maybe he's the good guy because of how humans work. Maybe he knows that if he puts through a bunch of shit and then just leaves us alone, he knows we can accomplish anything because then it becomes easy.

Speaker: And then the top reply is if the devil is real, that opens up a whole new area of possibilities into what exactly the devil is. it does. Please read the next the reply from the OP here.

Speaker: It does. I'm sure I'll be thinking about it now, just as my eyes are about to close. No sleep for that thought. they will't be all they They won't be able to sleep because of the thought that if the devil's real, it opens up possibilities into what the devil is. I was up all night thinking about how the devil might be interesting like in a fake way, but if he's real, that makes him even more interesting. Holy shit. So if the devil's real, he might be is actually he might exactly be. i might actually who We might have you get the devil is real.

Speaker: Maybe he's the good guy. If the devil is real, then I haven't met him. So I don't know anything. I don't know who he is. don't know what his realness makes him. Maybe the good guy. If he's really could exactly be a soldier in the army because of how humans work. Maybe he knows that if he puts us through a bunch of shit, I just want to keep rereading the question because it's so fascinating. If the devil is real, maybe is the good guy. Because of how humans work, maybe he knows that if he puts us through a bunch of shit, then just leaves us alone. He knows we can just accomplish anything because it then becomes easy.

Speaker: Isn't that already how people think about the devil and God? That's the purpose of devil, basically. That's why God like allows. Yeah, is that it's it creates strife. Right. I needed this guy to tempt you.

Speaker: Yeah, um and yet so I really don't want people that can get tempted into heaven, even though heaven is the ultimate temptation. Obviously Yeah, wait a minute. Oh yeah, you get to be a paradise forever. Yeah, hell is the opposite of the of a test. The heaven was if heaven was the ultimate temptation. I think you'd have more people believing. I guess the devil that greatest chick the devil ever ever devil level.

Speaker: This is always so hard to say devil, but the greatest trick he pulled was that heaven and ain't that great and then say may that might not even be real. do You say devil level devil. That would be hell the devil level.

Speaker: but The greatest place the devil ah level is ah devil level. Devil love hell devil love hell. He doesn't though.

Speaker: No, he's like it's like his chum bucket. Yeah, it's just a piece of crap. It's shit. Yeah, i I want to go to hell. That's where all the rock stars are. That's a novel point. Jimi Hendrix.

Speaker: Yeah, Eric Clapton. You can have sex. Kurt Cobain. um Jimmy Kimmel. Elliot Smith. Elliot Smith is definitely. He's in hell. He's in hell. He's a suicide, right? they go Well, there's a there's a theory that he was stabbed by his wife because if he did commit suicide, it's a pretty gnarly way to go.

Speaker: Stab yourself in the heart. Getting stabbed by a wife. Suicide by wife. He was at least party to his death in some way. Even if he got murdered, he's in hell. Let's face it. He's a drug user.

Speaker: He went hell for choosing a bad marriage partner. He's a singer as well. Yeah, singer-songwriter. My understanding. Artist. Artists go to hell. Yeah, that's why don't you guys want to just chill in hell when you die? Probably a bunch of beautiful vampire women there. Wait, there's monsters there, but yeah, they go monsters go to hell where you think the monsters are think a monster is going to be in heaven. They're like enormous, like not just vampires. Are there enormous monsters? The Leviathan Cerberus? Yes, definitely in hell.

Speaker: Why wouldn't you want to go to? There's no monsters in heaven. Well, because it's hotter than heaven is by a large by a a lot. Heaven is freezing. Heaven is freezing cold.

Speaker: ah It's really like a cloud, but isn't how cold sometimes isn't there a level. Hell freezes over, but that's if hell freezes over. Yeah, that's only when something rare happens. That's like a pie in the sky, but wait wait. Well, pigs fly in heaven. They will so pigs fly in heaven. Pigs are the only monsters in heaven pigs just walk.

Speaker: jesus Yeah, they just walk around. i guess Jesus is in heaven, right? is he He's not that great. What? Yeah, he is good, but he's not a monster. He's not fun to even look at He's a cryptid.

Speaker: little bit. He has a big weird spine. He's hunched over. He's considered strange and he was not typically European like he's often drawn. No, he's short and Palestinian. Yeah, it's probably in heaven right now. He's probably upset for being good Yeah, for being too good job being Jesus Christ.

Speaker: I was wonderful of you. Yeah, he's being lauded. i don't think he should get in a ah reward. I agree. It's a little bit your job. Yeah, it's power for the course. Yeah, and also on the in the grand scheme of things you were in ah you were on earth suffering for so such a small amount. He should go to hell. That should be. Yeah, that should be how he that should be. That's the real suffering is it right. Wait, this is a huge It would make more sense like theologically he went to hell if he went to hell and suffered forever. Yes, we shouldn't be that thankful for him. All he did was get crucified. We nobody here has to go to hell.

Speaker: It wasn't even his idea was the Romans idea to crucify him. We should be well. He did not come up with it. Yeah, and also they crucified all kinds of guys and we don't worship them. But the idea is that he knew what was in store for him on on planet Earth. Okay, well that's like me touching a hot stove for for you guys. That'd be great. Yeah, I would just say do that you don't have to do that for me.

Speaker: I definitely know that the four of us are going to experience extreme agony. Yeah, at some point very extreme agony. Yeah, and pleasure too and a lot of pleasure, but probably more agony than pleasure.

Speaker: Just because pleasure is so fleeting. Yeah, and agony kind of sticks with you for a long time. Hell's an easier place to run. People in our lives will die suddenly, shockingly, and they'll go to hell.

Speaker: ah We won't have any. It'll be the last thing we're worried about because it'll be so painful here. right? The loss will really be painful for us. Yeah, you you think pain lingers longer than happiness, right?

Speaker: Absolutely. Do you don't think there's like a mirror version of PTSD where something really good happens to you and you get stuck smiling for the rest of your life? You kind of wake up in the middle of the night. Oh, that was a very short stare only able to really focus on the things inside. Well, the things that are in front of me are grand.

Speaker: Yeah, a thousand centimeters stare. Yes, it's really. I can't even see that far because I'm only able to see my delights from my past. Yeah, I'm just thinking about birthdays. Yeah, birthday inflicted. blow osie and bts Yeah, I'm shell shocked from candle candle blow.

Speaker: I think that's true. You remember birthdays because birthdays are somewhat painful. There's like an overabundance of pleasure and it's so a bit overwhelming. That's why I pretty much abstain from from a birthday celebration because it is a it's too it's it's too easy to mark the years as they go by if they're always you're you're having such an amazing time. You want a blur.

Speaker: yeah Yeah. You want it to all kind of just blend together. I don't want that. here's the Here's the best day of the year. It's weird to choose the the best day of your year. Every day should be 1 365th of the birthday. Yes.

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. And then that's the problem with Christmas too. What's the problem with Christmas? We shouldn't celebrate it. It's too memorable. It's too memorable and fun, and there's almost nothing that goes bad on Christmas. It's pretty rare. In fact, any other day, the things that the bad parts of a Christmas celebration on any other day, you wouldn't even notice, but because Christmas is supposed to be such a great day, they really stick with you. and You think that was a bad Christmas. I'll save this for Halloween.

Speaker: the how and Yes, exactly. how i mean It's so par for the course. Yeah, I don't know. I guess I like celebrating because there are so many holidays. We should probably just have more. we just have one holiday every day. There are holidays pretty much every day.

Speaker: Yeah. get If you want to be small enough. If you do the research. Yeah. Yeah. There's a website that has all. I mean, it's always it's almost always a taco day. Yeah, it's almost always a food day. It's usually Taco Day. It's a celebration for some day of food.

Speaker: What holiday is today? holiday Hey, maybe that's what our podcast should be about. We talk about a different holiday every day. right, change it up. You know, Rachel Koster told me she was like, you should change the title to be Am I the Asshole? And you should promote it.

Speaker: What are you guys doing? She was like, your well well title sucks. I mean, if we promoted it, we might not have to change the title. Right. She was like, you would go supersonic if you changed it to Am I the Asshole? Wait, we would go viral like that? That's what she said. Fuck. And she knows everything about that. Consider it done. boy Yeah, she is good at that kind of stuff. yeah Let's call it Boy Room.

Speaker: Yeah, wait, boy room is such a good name for a podcast hosted by three boys. It makes more sense. It does make a lot of sense. We should just chat with her about it. Yeah, and we can say step into the boy room. We could just call it the official boy room podcast companion. Yeah, and you guys are kind of defending the guy's room.

Speaker: not that messy. It's good. Let's not even read these, but there's these really long posts on deep thought. This one says man's love for women is exploited by everyone true, and then there's just a bunch of paragraphs. Let's not read it, but a lot of the paragraphs begin with. Unfortunately, i do feel like that's all you need to know one does a being an incel does not justify watching a stranger for your release. It doesn't justify. Wow, you shouldn't watch strangers and release. Yeah,

Speaker: Well, this is a lot of sex of ah sexual stuff. Right. Sex for pleasure is the biggest con of all. Can't be the biggest con of all. Deep thoughts is where people go when they have a sexual shower thought. It's only a few men will ever be loved.

Speaker: Wow. Yeah, these are more like black pill incel true. This does feel like a huge like psyop thing. Just like people go to deep thoughts. You're supposed to actually be a little bit mind opening and it's just like your cock is a cock is an instrument of torture. Shouldn't be hard right now, but I am girls don't like you.

Speaker: Deep sexual urge is the root of all evil. Sex is instinctual desiring offspring isn't. Hmm. No animal in the animal kingdom besides humans are out there being like, Hmm, I think I want to produce some officer offspring. True. So true.

Speaker: I think slavery in America, specifically your kids being the property of the owners has parallels in the present moment when they're when they belong to the mark makers and market marketers and ad execs who for various reasons take a more space in their minds.

Speaker: Wait, what? Through your kids, you are also a slave to the same influences. Look at the state of healthcare in this country. You work for it, not the other way around. There's an ongoing battle for what survival and fulfilling realities mean here, and the human so the human side is losing.

Speaker: Tech alone owns you much more than the owners of the company Towns ever did. Then you could leave. Now, perhaps especially if you have kids, you can't. Tell me I'm wrong. You're not wrong.

Speaker: You're right. You are right. You're correct. Your kids are the real slay. I think it's a little strange to compare it to slavery, but you know what you're to People have such limited vocabulary. Everything is just a slave. Yeah,

Speaker: slaving me right now. Just fucking slaves. This app your wife is your slave wife. Anything you like your slave. It's a way to also. It's kind of like the calling things a color thing where you get to any relationship can be really simplified in an easy way. Yeah, everybody understands slavery. Yes. And then that's why the American slave trade was so critical is because there was a color attached to it. Yes. Right. That's true. Hey, Christianity tells us we're a slave to our desires, but what if there was a color component to this that made it really easy to not have slavery be a complicated... if slavery was green?

Speaker: Right. What if we got gold... Oh yeah, gold is also gold. oh yeah Gold is a color and it's like an orange it's is some color and an object, right? So that's why part of why gold and oranges are to the most expensive things on earth.

Speaker: Nothing rhymes with them. Well, gold has some right too much gold. The sun is just a gold thing. It's just gold. It just gives life, but it's only gold. They do realize they're saying the highest value. color The only color that really has a value attached to it, I would say.

Speaker: Gold is? Gold. Well, and so silver. Silver, too.

Speaker: Yeah, silver, too. Fucking red. Red is not. Red does not have a good value. Red does not have a green money value attached to it. ruby is a color ruby, so the ruby you win with ruby again, but if you try to have another one, need to be better than red diamond diamond is not a color diamond diamond is ship. It's just a red diamond. It's a shape.

Speaker: Yeah, was it look like? du oh Yeah, yeah, it does it does and it has that kind of voice. It's a cality to it. Yeah, it's kind of sexy. The diamond song diamond diamond A diamond is a rhombus right a rhombus.

Speaker: Yeah, I don't know. It's enormous. It's just enormous. This valuable diamonds are worth a hell of a lot of money. Yeah, they're rare in nature.

Speaker: I found a rhombus. I found a rhombus on a beach. lot of rhombus with curved edges. What a vaguely megal maniac thought. I do feel like a slave right now just because I like hanging out with you guys and slave that's sort of forcing me to play out with you. You're being a slave. You're being a slave to your own taste. You're being a slave. What's happening?

Speaker: This is why all sex is not consensual. Why is that because you're being forced to do it by your attraction and care even if you loved don't want to do it. Whatever part of you we've identified as the actual core of your being doesn't want to do it. Every other part of you does Every part wants it. Yeah, you're having a great time. Both of you are really, yeah but even if that itself is kind of enslaving you that is enslaving. Yeah, desire.

Speaker: Wow. Yeah, you can't you can nothing can be wanted. It can only be happy. It can only happen. Okay. Okay, just got it. Let's just be free and pass on yeah out in a way. This is too much that out at least just check out at the very least right. I do feel like I'm learning. Have you seen this post matt my director attention to this reserved introverts know the exact reason why people seek Jesus. I'm a reserved introvert and for some reason most people assume that they can completely trust me as if I have acquired a magical aura due to my gentle nature.

Speaker: It's common for elderly women to tell me I'd make a great priest. I would be very difficult. It would be very difficult to explain the amount of insights I have acquired from people who figured out they can safely vent out their worries and frustrations onto me.

Speaker: um Is do they think that that's what Jesus was known for being an introvert kept to himself? Mostly quite wonderfully. we found We found the quietest guy in Jerusalem and we love him. Yeah, Jesus's teachings were just his diary that got left behind after we killed him for being a weirdo.

Speaker: Yeah, it was even his friends diaries. It was that's right because he was so introverted. He would he never never dared to write down his stuff, never spoke a word, never made a peep. He didn't anything. No one would be interested in this stuff. He was a completely silent gray figure. He's great. He was great.

Speaker: And he did ladies always thought he would make a great priest. saying specifically old ladies. Does that is he saying that like old women maybe have some think people know that old old women have some kind of supernatural ability to understand people. Yes, they're cats. Yes, yeah, exactly. They have an animal like like sense of the weather type of a thing, right, but with people and they can they know when somebody's a bad or a good person. Yeah, and so he's saying that even even the old women are vouching for me at this point, right because I'm so introverted.

Speaker: are they silently communicating that they think he would be a good priest and he's picking up on that or they're they're saying that there sounds like they're saying it okay and then maybe confessing things to him because yeah he's saying the advantage of this is that people vent out their worries and I don't see that as a big advantage. I feel like people complain about that often right is like oh yeah people think they can tell me anything people trust me too much. was talking to my Catholic ah ah relatives and there were i was like, ah do you guys do confessions? They're like, it's pretty hard to do confessions now. There's barely anyone in the booth anymore. That was so shocking to me. They're like, you can go in and try to confess, but sometimes they'll say ah they're too busy to hear I was like, well, they're in the booth and saying we're too busy. They're like, they're you know whatever they're doing, but what could be more important? I have a sin.

Speaker: Can't the booth just be empty. I mean, it's just supposed to be a substitute for God anyway, right? right isn't isn't a confession also like a huge part of Catholicism I feel like no one I think now that I asked Joey Garcia and he said yeah I think most of us just kind of do it once yeah you're supposed to do it when you're doing whatever it's called but one yeah it really should be the last thing you do on earth right it shouldn't be something you do as a kid Does that still happen in like hospitals? Oh, that's right. Yeah. but Yeah. left Yeah. Last right still happens, but it's not. It's it's usually um not a one. It's not like a two way conversation because a person is often like in a coma or unable to speak, right? It's really just they they pray for you and they tell you if you want to come to to accept Jesus, you can.

Speaker: If you want to go to heaven, you can't yeah, you can't, but you have to make that decision now while your brain dead. Why

Speaker: try go ahead. I know I gave you something that you cannot make a decision on, but this is your last. It's up to you, buddy. See you.

Speaker: See you. Bye bye. That's what they do. They close the door. I have to give them last right. Okay, thank you. Close door. Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye. going go to heaven. I'm a priest officially.

Speaker: all right. yeah All right. I'm going to give last right. Close the door. All right. Come with me. You have to go to heaven right now. Come on. Come now. Come on Rise. It's so much harder to go up.

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Don't fall. It's easy to fall. just like, you know, don't fall through the bell line up rock climb It's a very far way to Yeah, my friend Aiden was telling me that he was there when his grandmother died and he was like, dude, you got to get last rights for your grandma. You gotta get last right. It feels awesome. You'll love it. Yeah, he was like everyone loved it. We got this Jamaican priest.

Speaker: He came through my uncle is a chemist, as you know. And I was like, I don't remember that. And he was like, yeah, he's a chemist. he We gave her some LSD. We all took LSD. And I was like, your uncle synthesized homegrown LSD and gave it to everyone in your family. And he was like, yep, we all hold held hands. She got last rights for the Jamaican priest and she died while holding our hands. And she smiled.

Speaker: Wow, and I was like yeah, I don't think I'll i'll be able to do that. He's like to do it. let's Try try it once. was like I have to do all that does the joke the Jamaican priest.

Speaker: Wait, what kind of religion was this? I guess catholic Catholic. This is Catholic still a lot of Catholic Jamaican LSD makes you out of heaven. Makes you happy. None of this is about last rights. You got to get last rights. I had like McDonald's beforehand. I was with my girlfriend. Yeah, really been anytime you do LSD. It's last rights.

Speaker: but LSD plus Jamaican priest. That's and holding hand. I guess there's a lot of elements and he was telling me I should do all of them. That's the recipe. Yeah, it's a really difficult. This moment that happened to be really fun for me. he was also like you should recreate this moment I had.

Speaker: He was really verifying like, and by the way, she did get into heaven. That was like the subtext. Well, you you kind of missed the boat, right? Because you didn't do LSD with your... No, and I told my dad I was like hey, I think we should get my grandma last right. He was like dude. I didn't even think of that. That's a great idea. We was he kind of like eating you. You feel like by saying well he didn't know. but I don't think any. I don't think anyone showed up for hell.

Speaker: um I feel like you should read this question, Pierce, because it kind of relates to your current state. My gay friend flirted with me while I'm grieving and I'm pissed off and that's not that's not a dig by the way on the on the title. Yeah, no, no, I mean like on you. Eric isn't saying you're saying like this is so up your alley. We're not saying Pierce has a gay friend. Yeah, I'm saying Pierce's grandma passed away, right? And my friend who told me this story is actually by okay.

Speaker: That's not a detail. Not exactly exactly the same as gay friend of the by community appears. That's great to know. My grandma passed away and I have not felt the same. I still have so many questions I want to ask. I told my friend that I feel like an empty hollow void because I thought he would offer me support as friends are supposed to do. And he said he would fill me up with love in a fruity voice as a sexual innuendo.

Speaker: He has always done this. Even though he knows I'm straight, I like girls and i don't and don't like them that way. I wanted to crash out on him so bad. wanted to crash out on him so bad.

Speaker: and wanted to call him the F-slur in every slur that exists. Every slur? I wanted to tell him that he is a weirdo and a loser and that the only reason I still hang out with him is because I pity him. However, my grandmother was the sweetest, honest, most generous woman I have ever met and she would want me to be kind.

Speaker: So I fake laughed and carry on. People tell me I have her curly hair. i have her eyes and I have her beautiful tanned skin. Therefore, i want to be a living example of who she was in life. I want to look down from heaven with pride.

Speaker: What should I do? I really wanted to crash out and I still feel so fucking angry. I love you, mamita. Not a day goes by where I don't think of you.

Speaker: Almost said gay does by. I can't wait until we are reunited one day. He's praying to his grandmother in the post. I can't wait until we are reunited one day in the clouds with God holding us close.

Speaker: But I know you are reunited with your husband and my papa, Jay, and your three other children who have passed you, lived a good life, and I'm grateful to be a part of your family. This is a really sweet post except for the one little part about saying every saying every slur in existence to the gay guy.

Speaker: I'll fill you up with love. That was a really badt nasty thing to say, though. It's nasty, but also, you know, I can understand being this gay guy. Yeah, I would say that to someone. Yeah, yeah, I'll fill you. I mean, I would. Yeah, that's I would word it maybe differently, but maybe not. I don't know exactly how serious this relationship with his grandmother was and how important she was to him. I guess I would really hate it if say if I said i i feel an empty hollow of void and my friend said I'll come in your a need a blow job saying that it's he said it in a fruity voice. He does that. He probably has a fruity voice. Yeah, he's a fruity guy. Why would he have a a somber voice that he turns on when people tell him serious he said something to me using his fucking voice again voice.

Speaker: It really is a problem with having the guy having an accent. right? Then he goes into description of his own appearance. He's the ah this beautiful. He's grateful to be this perfectly handsome, wonderful kind of historical Jesus figure. Yeah, it's like yeah, curly black hair and tan skin.

Speaker: It would be really funny to watch this happen and watch the guy with the dead grandma crash out at his friend. You're a loser. You're a weirdo. I only hang out with you because I pity you Wait, I want to be sweet like my grandmother. grandmother wouldn't have said this. want to go to heaven. I need to act like more like my grandma. How does he know that his grandma didn't want him to get filled up with love by his gay friend?

Speaker: Yeah, we don't know really anything except that he looks like her. I look like that she was nice. I love you, Mamita, not a disco.

Speaker: But he is jealous of his grandfather seemingly, right? I can't wait to be reunited one day in the clouds with God holding us close, but I know you're just with your husband. I know you're reunited with your husband's bullshit. No room for me.

Speaker: I'd like to see these two develop a relationship. Him and is his gay friends. Yeah, I think his gay friend is trying to save him from this weird idea that he's going to go live in a cloud with his grandparents one day with God hug. He's really being hugged by God. You're not with God. You're here with me.

Speaker: You might as well. Let me fill you up with love with love. Yeah, would you rather be filled up with love or sort of in a cloud cloud with God? Yeah, the cloud is not pleasant.

Speaker: No, no. Well, it's pretty good. It's a pretty good post. I think we've had enough, though. How do we get off this thing? Thanks for doing this, by the way. Oh, yeah, of course. Thank you guys for having Should introduce our guest?

Speaker: People know who Caleb is.

Speaker: Jaja watches over you and I.

Speaker: and I, Jaja sees everything inside, Jaja sees everything inside. You could be locked up in shackles and chains, you could be seated in a heavenly place.

Speaker: Jaja watches over you and I, Jaja watches over you and I, Jaja watches over you and I,