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🌊😱 EPISODE 166: WATERPARKS ARE TERRIFYING
386 Plays8 days ago
Wave pools. Drain suction. Parasites that laugh at chlorine. Turns out the "safe" attraction at the water park was never safe — and we've got the real-life horror stories to prove it (RIP Action Park, aka "Traction Park").
🎬 PIRANHA (1978) — Genetically engineered killer fish, bred for Vietnam, get loose and head straight for a summer camp. Spielberg himself called it "the best of the Jaws rip-offs."
🎬 JAWS 3D (1983) — The Brody boys can't catch a break. This time it's a SeaWorld-style marine park and a mama great white hunting for her missing baby through the underwater tunnels.
Plus: Verrückt, Cryptosporidium outbreaks, and why wave pools might be the scariest attraction of all.
New Patron shoutout: Pool Boi Q 🏊
🎧 Listen now — wherever you get podcasts!
Support the show: frigay13.com/support
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Transcript
Introduction and Podcast Overview
00:00:00
Speaker
Frygay the 13th Horror Podcast is a proud independent podcast. To learn more about the show, visit frygay13.com.
00:00:13
Speaker
Welcome to Lesbigay Splash Adventure, home of the world's safest wave pool. Oh, I love a wave pool. Well, come on. Let's get in. Woo! what what But why is there a traffic cone floating by?
00:00:26
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Safety first. Is that ah is that a lawn chair?
Humorous Wave Pool Stories
00:00:31
Speaker
Premium seating. You got to pay extra for that. Andrew, there's a shopping cart. Oh, the lost and found.
00:00:37
Speaker
I don't think that's what lost and found means. Look, it's someone's wig. Grab it. No. Oh, oh well well, at least that kid found a rubber ducky. i think that's a real duck. Why is there a duck in the wave pool?
00:00:52
Speaker
I mean, everyone that paid admission is allowed in. Was that a mannequin? ah Hopefully. Hopefully? oh god But what if someone's in trouble? Hard to tell. The waves keep taking it back. I'm sure the lifeguards got it. That teenager sleeping behind the sunglasses? Nope. I'm getting out.
00:01:11
Speaker
Good luck. The wave pool decides when you're done. It decides. It's episode 166. Water parks are terrifying.
00:01:23
Speaker
I am the writing on the wall. The whisper in the classroom. I'm Marjorie Green and I approve this message. To save America, stop socialism, and stop China.
00:01:37
Speaker
They abide the odyssey from life to death to life.
00:01:42
Speaker
in real life. Doubters, the doomsters, the gloomsters, they are going to get it wrong. Call up in the movies. Where are you gonna go?
00:01:54
Speaker
Where are gonna run? Where are you gonna hide? Nowhere. Because there's no one like you left. What do we want? Justice!
00:02:05
Speaker
When do we
Episode 166 Introduction: Water Park Horrors
00:02:06
Speaker
want it? Now! Let's go! What are you waiting for, huh?
00:02:14
Speaker
I want you to know that the movement we started is only just beginning. Sometimes that better. Tonight, the fallout after that terrifying moment at a newly opened water park in Northern California.
00:02:28
Speaker
Watch as a 10 year old boy launches down this 80 degree drop from three stories up, then straight over the edge of the slide. Surprisingly, he walked away with only minor scrapes and bruises. I would be worried about those two slides because they're really steep. Welcome back to another episode of Freigate the 13th Horror Podcast. My name is Matty. And I'm Andrew. And if this is your first time with us on Freigate the 13th Horror Podcast, this is a the podcast that talks all about horror and in the movies and in real life from an LGBT perspective. Andrew, this is our 166th episode. And today we're talking all about
00:03:10
Speaker
Water parks.
Personal Water Park Experiences
00:03:11
Speaker
Water parks. It's summer. Get wet, people. hit But where? Yeah, get wet. Do you want them to get wet all over their bodies or just in one special place? What do you think?
00:03:21
Speaker
It's Wedgie Town, USA. Perfect, everybody. um Look, um it's it is. It's summer. um I can tell you one thing, Andrew, over here, right?
00:03:31
Speaker
Because I know you guys you guys have had hot weather, as usual, for a while. um We are in a heat wave and have been for like three weeks in Ireland. And look, heat wave is not maybe what you're thinking of as a heat wave, but like 80 degrees here is very hot for this little island. um So it's been honestly crazy. um we we It has been sunny and pleasant completely for about three weeks now. It has not rained, which is wild. Um, we are actually under like a water advisory right now. It's like, if you have like a house, you can't like, you know, use your hose to, you know, water the lawn or whatever. Um, and, uh, there's not really a lot of water parks here, but I did go to the beach this last weekend and a couple beaches. That was really nice. couple of really beautiful beaches in Connemara. And it got me thinking about water parks on the drive back.
00:04:30
Speaker
Um, So, yeah, just a little bit about, you know, summer here. And um i don't know, did did you grow up loving water parks and going to water parks? Oh, yeah, baby. We had Fun Country, which was an an interlock in Michigan. Country.
00:04:45
Speaker
Fun Country. Wow. It was, yeah i can i can't explain. It was like a mini water park. It was like two water slides, a lazy river, a miniature golf course, and maybe some bumper boats. Like that was that was it. But it was like 20 bucks, you know, like in in the 90s. 20 bucks is a lot of money.
00:05:04
Speaker
Yeah, well, you could go for the whole day, you know, and go on the water slides and everything. And then we had Michigan's adventure, twice the fun whitewater adventure. ah but And that was in just north of Muskegon. I still remember the fucking commercial would always be eight miles north of Muskegon, Michigan on Russell Road exit. Yeah. It's embedded in my brain. It it was a it was a amusement park with a water park. So you had to pay extra to go to the water park. And I distinctly remember if you took a Dr. Pepper can with you, you got $5 off admission. i remember they remember them doing that at Great America all the time. yeah we we had um We had two water parks by us. We had one called Splashdown Dunes, which is kind of close to the Indiana Dunes.
00:05:55
Speaker
That one was not the nice one. And then we had one open called Deep River Water Park, which was yeah of the exactly which is part of the Lake County Parks Department, um which I used to work for on my summers from college um when I worked at the historical part called Deep River County Park. um So Deep River Water Park and Deep River County Park were like sister parks, but we were like the old gristmill historical part. And that was like the fun water park.
00:06:25
Speaker
um And it was hilarious because like their employees used to come over and just like goof around and we we could go to the water park whenever we wanted to for free. Fun. um I hated going to the water park as a guess what I'm bringing this back up again because why not i love my traumatic childhood as a chubby kid I loved going to the water park and yeah know and i everybody it was the best I was the kid wearing a
Water Park Safety Concerns and Disasters
00:06:49
Speaker
t-shirt in the park I usually I usually did that too because I didn't want to show anyone my skin. Still don't most of the time, I'll be honest, but whatever. um So yeah, going to water parks was, I mean, like it it was fun because i had ah I had some friends that liked going, but I also kind of hated it for those reasons. I do know, you know, something interesting about water parks, it's a very, very random trivia thing here. And I don't know if it's like this for a lot of like youth group things in other religions or churches or whatever.
00:07:22
Speaker
But the Episcopal Church, Andrew, in the United States. love a water park? No, they hate a water park. Oh, no. all no And and this is actually this is actually serious. All youth like like youth groups, youth organizations, all that kind of stuff, you are not allowed to go to water parks. what and and And I don't i I was looking for statistics on this today and I couldn't find them. But look, I was in a rush. But the story that I heard when I used to be part of the Episcopal Church and really involved in it is that like statistically, like the possibility of children getting molested at a park is highest at a water park.
00:07:59
Speaker
Isn't that crazy? God, we know. I know that really dampens the mood, doesn't it? So um that's something random and terrifying for you. um But beyond that, like, I don't know. There are some crazy water parks that we've heard about in recent times. I i think you've got a couple that you brought to the show, didn't you? Yeah.
00:08:19
Speaker
yeah um Yeah. Which ones are which ones are you talking about? So I'm going to first talk about the Verruckt disaster. Ah, the Verruckt. Ja, jawohl, ja. Which I don't know why it's called that because it's in Kansas City. Well, doesn't Verruckt in German means, what does that mean?
00:08:39
Speaker
It means like insane. Oh, it means wicked. No, it means insane. it Well, it means a number of things. It means wicked, disreputable, insane, depraved, or sleazy. It also means sleazy. in Kansas City.
00:08:55
Speaker
like Well, I mean, Kansas City is a little thing for our listeners over so not in America, right? So, you know, Irish people listen up. um Is that Kansas is actually the sluttiest city in America.
00:09:07
Speaker
No, it's not. It is. It's the sleaziest city in America. um so now you know. There you go. That's why that's why they called this place the Farooq. There you go. In all seriousness, a lot of crime in Kansas City. I've never really wanted to go to Kansas City. I've got to be honest with you. i I don't really want to go. It's the ah it's the birthplace of Applebee's, I believe.
00:09:29
Speaker
You know, a fine establishment. that we we there there there Listen, there are Michelin star places and there are Applebee's. And you know where I'm going, Andrew? I'm going for the blondie at fucking Applebee's any day of the week. I am. Catch me out of Chili's. Watch me outside. You know, but catch me outside, bro.
00:09:46
Speaker
Excellent. So, okay. And that's where the Schlitterbahn was, wasn't it? Or something like that? Yeah. let let Let's just let's just ah get into this. Yeah. because then i'm I'm talking about one, which I think a lot of people know, called Action Park in New Jersey. Yeah. Ooh, I have seen that documentary. Which is crazy. And if you haven't seen it, I would recommend watching it because it will blow your fucking brains, man. It's insane. God. um I should say, before we get into these two things, I have two personal things. I have a reoccurring nightmare about going down water slide and going off of the edge.
00:10:17
Speaker
That's something that always has plagued my dreams. And I have it very often where I'm in a little raft and I go on the side of the water slide and I just go off and fall.
00:10:28
Speaker
Well, I mean, like, I think that that has actually happened to people many times. And um that is, I think that's a probably a good fear to have, if I'm being real. Because some of these slides are pretty fucking nuts, man.
00:10:40
Speaker
Yeah. And then I also always, and I don't know if you feel this way, I always equate a pool or a water slide or a water park with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I always, every time I go in water, I want a peanut butter jelly sandwich. Yeah. That must be like a thing, like like your mom was making you sandwiches when you were a kid or some shit. Is that it? I'm sure. that must be it All right, let's get into the Verruckt disaster. settledd in In the early 2010s, water parks were competing to build the next best record-breaking attraction. Every summer seemed to bring a slide that was taller, steeper, or faster than the last, and those records became huge marketing tools. The most ambitious was the Verruckt, German for insane, at Schlitterbahn in Kansas City. Schlitterbahn!
00:11:29
Speaker
Actually, i like schlitta but ya I love the German language. i'm not just sp schlitter bond oh y ya all Standing 168 feet. There goes all of our listeners in Germany. They're like, I'm turning this off. We're done. Goodbye.
00:11:45
Speaker
It was marketed as the world's tallest water slide, even taller than Niagara Falls. but like like Here's the thing also. Just hearing that, I never want to go on it. Ever. know. like I know. the fuck wants to go on a water slide that is bigger than Niagara Falls? Go fuck yourself. No. seriously ah But behind the scenes, investigators later found a troubling story. Rather than being designed through the kind and rigorous engineering process you'd expect for a ride capable of reaching highway speeds, highway speeds, think about that for a second, but
00:12:21
Speaker
The slide was reportedly developed using trial and error testing. During development, rafts were known to become airborne over one of the hills, what we just talked about. And engineers struggled to keep riders' safety in contact with the slide.
00:12:38
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God almighty. That danger became horrific reality on August 7th of 2016 when 10-year-old Caleb Schwab was riding in a three-person raft with two adult women when investigators believe the raft went airborne as it crested the second hill.
00:12:55
Speaker
It struck the metal support structure and overhead netting that had been installed to keep riders from being thrown out of the slide. Caleb suffered... unfortunately fatal injuries including decapitation while the two women in the raft survived serious facial injured his injur injuries his head was was cut off of of of this butter yep the ride was immediately closed and never reopened eventually being demolished the tragedy sparked criminal investigations lawsuits and renewed scrutiny of the amusement pride regulation in the united states More than anything, the Verrucht disaster became a cautionary tale about what can happen when the race to build the world's large our biggest thrill outpaces the engineering and safety. You know what? I'll tell you what. Number one, rest in peace to that kid with his fucking head cut off. It's terrible. And number two, ah what does the sleaziest city in America expect?
00:13:54
Speaker
when when you When you build a fucking slide that big. Oh, Kansas City, you slut. Yeah, for real. that We're going to start marketing it that way. The slutdiest city in America. um That is, that that's just insane. Terrifying. It's truly insane. Terrifying. I'm also thinking, like i like, imagine, like, I mean, you there had to have been, like, other kids in the pool, like, down below. know what I mean? like like Oh, yeah. That did not get their heads cut off.
00:14:22
Speaker
imagine like you're one of them and you fucking see the fucking body come down the fucking slide. Seriously. man And there's no fucking head. The head comes down after or before. I'm not, I'm not laughing it's funny. i just want to point that out.
00:14:34
Speaker
Yeah. Well, if you, if you want to see a really fucked up, uh, C level movie that we're not going to talk about today. You can watch this movie called Aqua slash where they put, Oh yeah. In a water slide.
00:14:48
Speaker
It's terrifying. That sounds like something the sluttiest city would do. Also. It's interesting. It hasn't happened yet in Kansas city. Huh? like I like how we're just like now on shaming Kansas City. What are we doing? Who the fuck has ah ah a city with by with another state's name in a fucking different state? that's I think that's fucking weird. I think it's fucked up.
00:15:09
Speaker
is It is. for This fucking slutbag fucking whore of a city. And now we've lost all of our Kansas City listeners. Good. Or we just gained some, I think. um Andrew, do you want to hear a little bit about Action Park?
00:15:25
Speaker
Oh, I do. I do. I do. I do. So look, um ah like as Andrew said, there's a Netflix documentary about this. It came out, I think, in 2020. Maybe 2019. I believe it's an HBO documentary.
00:15:36
Speaker
Oh, you're right. HBO. Sorry. Pardon me. um Look at me forgetting things and saying things wrong. That's never happened before on this podcast. Whoa. um Anyways, you should watch it if you haven't watched it. But also, there is a New York Times article...
00:15:51
Speaker
called People Were Bleeding All Over. ok america's America's Most Dangerous Amusement Park. And this is from October of 2019 by a guy named James Barron at the Times. And he says that amusement parks are designed to deliver thrills.
00:16:07
Speaker
They are places for splashing and screaming and laughing. often on rides that defy common sense, not to mention the laws of physics. But a park in New Jersey routinely delivered a lot worse, bloody noses, bruises, broken teeth and bones, concussions, and even death. People who spent a day at Action Park in its prime in the 80s and 90s often left with something to show for it, scars.
00:16:34
Speaker
People were bleeding all over the place, said Susie McKeown, who is now 52 and remembers going to Action Park after she graduated from high school more than 30 years ago. People were walking around the park with scraped elbows or knees, she said. She went home with her own badge of honor, having broken one of her front teeth on a ride that ended with a 15 to 20 foot plunge into a chilly pond. You went so fast, she said, that if your chin hit the water at the wrong angle, you chipped your teeth."
00:17:07
Speaker
is hardly alone as far as injuries go or memories. Sports Illustrated in 2019 published a big article under the headline, Remembering Action Park, America's Most Dangerous Daring Water Park. And in 2014, Cory Booker,
00:17:23
Speaker
a United States Senator from New Jersey and a Democratic presidential candidate back and forth for the 2020 election, wrote on Twitter, I've got stories to tell. So that documentary that it is titled Class Action Park is a reference to one of the many nicknames for Action Park. The park is about 50 miles northwest of New York City in Vernon, New Jersey, and it was a long ago replaced by a far tamer destination with different owners and a new name, Mountain Creek Water
Action Park's Dangerous Legacy
00:17:54
Speaker
Park. So look, there's a lot more to that article, but I'd rather instead tell you a little bit about some of their insane rides. oh Here they are. The first, the Tidal Wave Pool, was opened at the beginning of Action Park's 1981 season.
00:18:08
Speaker
the The first death in the pool occurred in 1982. like how you say the first. Yep. Another visitor drowned in this common water park attraction five years later. It was, however, the number of people the lifeguard saved from a similar fate that made this the only water world attraction to gain its own nickname.
00:18:28
Speaker
Not the wave pool, but the grave pool. Oh my God. It was a, look at how, listen to how big this was. It was a hundred wide, 30 meters wide 250 feet 76 meters long and could hold Andrew 500 1000 people. Sure.
00:18:44
Speaker
five hundred to one thousand people Waves were generated for 20 minutes at a time with 10 minute breaks and could reach as much as 40 inches or a meter in height.
00:18:57
Speaker
ah It was not always obvious that pool depth increased near the far end. And some patrons only remembered or realized that they could not swim when they were in over their heads and the waves were going full blast. So pretty crazy stuff.
00:19:14
Speaker
On a ride called the Aqua Scoot, with Scoot spelled S-K-O-O-T. Of course. Why you spell it any other way? yeah Invented by Ken Bailey in the early 80s, riders would carry a hard, solid plastic sled, perfect, ah up to the top of the ride, go down a slide consisting of rollers akin to those found in factories, warehouses, or assembly lines, and end up in a pool that in most areas was no deeper than a puddle.
00:19:43
Speaker
The idea of the ride was once the sled hit the water to skip across the water like a stone. To do this, the writer had to be in a certain position leaning back. If the writers were not in this position, the sled would sink into the water as soon as it hit the pool.
00:20:02
Speaker
flinging the writer off headfirst. I was gonna say there's a lot of face plants gonna happen. Which often resulted in head injuries. Conversely, a writer who leaned back in 1995 overdid it and suffered serious head injuries falling off the back of the sled, one of many to whom this happened, according to former employees.
00:20:23
Speaker
Another ride called the Kamikaze was the more tame water slide near whats what was called the Geronimo slides. It was blue and featured several drops and rises. Riders would lie on their backs with their arms and legs crossed and go down a chute that pitched steeply at first and then went up and down several times before ending in a pool.
00:20:45
Speaker
Another ride called the kayak experience was an imitation whitewater course that used that used great idea. Submerged electric fans to agitate the water above. Frequently, the kayaks got stuck or tipped over and people had to get out of them to remedy the situation. In 1982, man died while trying to get back in his kayak when he touched the open wiring of the fans.
00:21:13
Speaker
ah sending him into cardiac arrest and leading to its permanent closure. The Tarzan swing was a steel arch hanging ah from a 20 foot long cable over a spring fed pool. Patrons waited in long lines for the chance to hang from it, swing out over the water, then jump off as the beam reached its height. In the park's early years, the area where patrons jumped from was not over the water, but a cushioned area. Some people who let go as soon as they started their swing would land on the cushion and then slide what and crash into the water in the mid 80s the starting position was shifted so that patrons started over the water some patrons hung on too long and scraped their toes on the concrete at the far side others used the ride properly but were then surprised to find out the water underneath was freezing it was cold enough in fact that the lifeguard someone jesus
00:22:07
Speaker
Sometimes they had to rescue people who were so surprised by the sudden chill that they could not swim out of the pool. And one man in 1984 died of a heart attack after experiencing the ride.
Inherent Dangers of Water Parks
00:22:18
Speaker
Roaring Rapids was a standard raft-based whitewater ride. ah Reports that the park filled the state in 1984 noted fractured femurs, collarbones, and noses, dislocated knees, and shoulders.
00:22:31
Speaker
Surf Hill, common to other water parks the time, allowed patrons to slide down a water slick sloped surface on mats into small puddles until they reached a foam barrier after an upslope at the end. Barriers between lanes were minimal and people frequently collided with each other on the way down. Yes.
00:22:50
Speaker
The seventh lane was known as the backbreaker to its special kicker two-thirds of the way down intended to allow jumps and splashdowns into a larger butto. Employees at the park used to like eating at a nearby snack bar with a good view of the attraction since it was almost guaranteed that they could see some injuries, lost bikini tops, or both.
00:23:15
Speaker
ah And I'm not done, Andrew. Super speed water slides, also known as Geronimo Falls, were two slides let slightly up slightly apart from the rest of the park and took advantage of the nearly vertical slopes to allow riders to attain higher speeds than usually possible. No. One started with riders going almost...
00:23:35
Speaker
vertically downwards and was covered with screening for the first several feet as barriers on the side of the slides were very low. Lifeguards reminded every user to remain flat on their backs with their arms at their sides as they descended since there was no possible way to ride otherwise and stay on.
00:23:51
Speaker
The fall from both sides at the potential for various serious injury. Those who made it to the bottom found their progress arrested by water, which made an enormous splash and then a small pool. Only one of these slides remains today.
00:24:03
Speaker
um Okay, I'll give you one more. because there Remains? there's one many might know There's many more, but let me give you one more good one. Let's see here. Who died? Anyone else? Who who died? you know Every time every time the we talk about something like this where it's like culture has created like these water parks where we're like chasing the you know chasing the ultimate thrill ride. And then I just think, oh yeah, it's it's trans and drag queens that are the eminent problem to children these days. Yeah, exactly.
00:24:33
Speaker
So look, folks, there there are there are many other rides that you yourself can go research from Action Park in New Jersey, um which is, you know, still kind of there, it just under a different name. um But in the meantime, i hope that you take care. Bye.
00:24:48
Speaker
Before you go into any kind of crazy water park in the future. Good luck, everybody. Rest in shit, New Jersey. Sorry. Isn't that just crazy? The Garden State, they call it. The Garden State. We've got we've got Kansas City, the sluttiest city in America. And then we've got New Jersey, the Garden State.
00:25:06
Speaker
I don't know what's going on, Andrew. I don't know. I don't know. They should be using that water on the gardens, in my opinion. That's what I think. You know, i' I've been on that turnpike, and it is pretty lovely. I will be honest. but Fair. New Jersey, get your shit together. Come on.
00:25:19
Speaker
Get your shit together, New Jersey. All right. the Speaking of, you know, you talked about wave pools a little bit earlier. do you want to hear a little bit more about... Wouldn't I wouldn't i ever... ah did you Did you have a wave pool at your water park? We definitely did at Michigan's Adventure. Yes, we did.
00:25:36
Speaker
We did. We did have one. There was like, it would siren. Like, it would be like, ooh. Yeah. And that's when you knew the waves were coming. I i didn't like that. I didn't like that.
00:25:47
Speaker
um I just remember bumping into a lot of people. Oh, no Jesus. My God, man. All right. One of the most chilling things about wave pools is about how ordinary they look. Unlike towering water slides or roaring rapids, so the wave pool feels like a safe attraction where families gather to relax. I do remember that being, though, that's where all the lawn chairs were. That's like where you like oh that makes sense sat. Yeah, true.
00:26:14
Speaker
But safety experts have long warned that the combination of artificial waves, crowded conditions, and poor underwater visibility creates a uniquely dangerous environment.
00:26:25
Speaker
With every few minutes, hundreds of people begin jumping, splashing, and drifting with the waves, making it incredibly difficult to to distinguish someone who's genuinely drowning from someone who's simply playing.
00:26:39
Speaker
Drowning itself is usually silent, with victims unable to yell or wave because they're using all of their energy just to breathe. In the chaos of packed wave pool, someone can disappear beneath the surface without anyone, including nearby swimmers, realizing they're in trouble.
00:26:56
Speaker
One heartbreaking example occurred at board walklk at the boardwalk in Hershey Park in Pennsylvania on July 24th of 2025. So last year, nine-year-old Sophia Subetti, so last year nine-year-old sophia subettti was enjoying the park with her family when she experienced distress in the wave pool. Lifeguards and nearby guests responded within seconds, pulling her from the water and beginning CPR immediately. But despite these rapid rescue efforts, Sophia later died in the hospital. After a lengthy investigation, police concluded that her death was accidental drowning and found no further evidence of criminal wrongdoing or failures in the park safety procedures. How can you say that? How can you say that there were no failures of safety in the park's procedures if this person died?
00:27:42
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. i mean, it's really fucked up, man. but This is what they do. This is what they do. Yeah. So yeah that's just to say, like, hey, if you're going to take your kid to a water park, like especially nine years old, please be with them, like help them. Like it's that's not safe for anyone, let alone a nine year old kid who probably just learned how to swim two years earlier.
00:28:08
Speaker
so Exactly. um i definitely had some scares in the wave pool. I'm not going to lie. There were definitely times where I was definitely under water for too long or maybe swam out to the deep end past what I should have been. But that's what you did as a kid because you don't as a kid, you don't think death is even a viable choice. Whereas now don't I don't the most I'm going in is a fucking lazy river, bitch. Like, you know, exactly.
Fears and Preferences: Amusement Parks as Adults
00:28:37
Speaker
For real.
00:28:39
Speaker
um another one Another thing I wanted to talk about was this ah the terrifying thing about drains, which if you've seen, um what was that? Final Destination 4? Oh, God, yeah.
00:28:51
Speaker
Where he gets trapped at the bottom of a drain because listen to this. One of the most frightening hazards in any pool or water park isn't the towering slide. It's something hidden beneath the surface. Pool and spa drains use powerful pumps to circulate thousands of gallage gallons of water every hour. And before modern safety standards, that suction could become strong enough to trap a person underwater. Oh, God. These these and incidents known as suction entrapment. Terrifying.
00:29:21
Speaker
can occur when someone's body, hair, swimsuit, jewelry, or even a limb becomes caught against a drain. In some cases, the force is so great that multiple adults can't pull the victim free while the pump is running.
00:29:36
Speaker
Throughout the 1980s and 1990s, dozens of serious injuries and deaths were linked to faulty or uncovered drains, prompting calls for sweeping safety reforms.
00:29:47
Speaker
So they had to pass laws to like basically get the pool companies to fix their suction problem, which is insane. The movement for those reforms was galvanized by the death of Virginia Graham baer Baker, a seven-year-old girl who was drowned in June of 2002 while playing in the hot tub of a private club.
00:30:15
Speaker
Imagine... And listen, I've had a lot of like close encounters with like almost drowning. I'm not gonna lie. I'm a Scorpio. I'm a water kid. i love the water. Yeah.
00:30:26
Speaker
Can you imagine in a hot tub? You never even think that that's even a possibility in a hot tub. Like at that that that shit is that that is fucking scary. Like truly fucking scary.
00:30:38
Speaker
and And, you know, you hear about these people that, like, you know, that, like, you can drown in a puddle. And I'm just like, oh, God, if that's the way I go, i yeah yeah yeah I'd rather, i i i don't know. Like, yeah, that that's, that's like, that that that's some terrible shit. Truly terrible. maybe Maybe one of the worst deaths that you could have.
00:30:58
Speaker
Yeah, i think I think on fire and in water are probably the worst. Terrible, man. Fucking awful. i i the Terrifying. So, um you know, thankfully, because of Graham Baker's death, there was a law put in order in 2007, which requires public pools and spas to use anti-entrapment drain covers and other safety systems designed to prevent this. type of accident. Experts credit the law with dramatically reducing the risk of suction entrapment incidents in the United States. So at least we took that energy that that person lost and put it towards helping more people in the future.
00:31:42
Speaker
But it's really scary that any of these things are... profitable or even, you know what i mean? Like put into the public sphere of like safety. It's, it's, it's insane to me. I don't know. Water parks, as I get older, amusement and water parks seem scarier and scarier to me. Yeah. It's like I used, I did used to really love going to like, you know, great America and all and all that kind of shit.
00:32:07
Speaker
But like, I don't know. Like, I, I don't really want to go on a roller coaster anymore. And like i I most certainly don't want to go on ah on ah to a fucking water park. I i just feel like I'm going to be sore. I'm sore. And like, I even worry like, man I'm gonna have a fucking heart attack or some some kind of crazy shit on that motherfucker. Like, I'd rather just take me to the beach or take me to the pool. Like, let's just hang out and chill.
00:32:31
Speaker
When I think about it, and I said this a little bit earlier in jest, but we used to have these slides and they were so vertical. You would go down them and you would just watch people go down these slides that were so vertical.
00:32:46
Speaker
And every single time that they would get down, everyone would have to pick out their wedgie because like the the swimsuit would go so far up your butthole. but it's That's absolutely insane, man. That's absolutely crazy.
00:33:00
Speaker
and I just think about that and I'm like, what are we doing? what are we doing oh my god just crazy just we gotta chase the thrill that much further so well i andrew anything else about water parks what do you think i mean chase whatever thrill you need but be careful and know your limits people and yeah and and watch your kids come on watch them yeah watch your kids man Well, folks, that does it for our Horror in Real Life segment.
What You've Been Watching Segment
00:33:31
Speaker
Stay tuned. We'll be right back with what you've been watching,
00:33:35
Speaker
Let's all go to the lobby. Let's all go to the lobby. Let's all go to the lobby to get ourselves a treat.
00:33:49
Speaker
And we are back with what you've been watching, bitch. What you been watching, you water sliding bitch? Yeah, probably a water sliding slutty bitch from Kansas City. I bet too. What do you think? I bet it is. I like that this is in our lore now.
00:34:03
Speaker
Yep, I bet you that's right. i can guarantee Lesbian gay falls isn't far from fucking Kansas City either, might I add. Anyways, um everybody, this is the segment where we talk about what we've been watching. Now listen, we just fucking recorded last week.
00:34:17
Speaker
So I haven't had a chance to watch many things. I'm not going to lie. So we're just bringing you two things today each. um So Andrew, what is your first that you've been watching? You fucking little water park bitch.
00:34:29
Speaker
Yeah, I checked out the new... I thought it was a movie the way it was advertised, but it turned out to be an eight-episode show. um And that is the Five Star Weekend. Have you even heard of this? Not at all.
00:34:42
Speaker
So this is... think so here's the cast. I just want to read this to you because I think you're going to freak out. Jennifer Garner plays the lead role. ah Darcy Carden, which was from um that Kristen a Bell show... Okay. um Then Regina Hall.
00:35:00
Speaker
Oh. ah Chloe Sevigny. um Let's see here Timothy Oliphant. ah Josh Hamilton. Judy Greer. So we're talking top tier talent here. That's awesome. Yeah. And the show is about a woman who is kind of a modern day, um like Martha Stewart type influencer. You know what mean? Like, yeah and she ah loses her husband in a tragic car accident.
00:35:29
Speaker
And, ah this is all in the previews. I'm not spoiling anything. And, uh, basically, ah six months later after she has dealt with, you know, some of the grief of losing her, her lifetime husband, uh, she decides that she's going to go to her, uh, grandfather's house on Nantucket.
00:35:48
Speaker
Uh, she's going to invite. What if it was called Nan fuck it? Yeah, well, I think some of the locals do call it that. no um But she decides that she's going to invite um all of her all of a person from each part of her of her life. So she's got a childhood best friend, a college best friend, now best friend, and she invites all of them to this house. And it's kind of just the fallout from that. And...
00:36:13
Speaker
You know, listen, this is very like... I explained to this to to one of my friends as like a Nora Ephron type show. If that makes any sense to you. It totally does, yes. Yeah, it's not too... like It's not too depth, but there is depth there. And there it is... I really like the show, but I can't say that it's like a great show. It's just kind of like a... Oh, that was nice.
00:36:38
Speaker
Because there's ah there's enough emotion, but the emotion doesn't go... like too hard, if that makes any sense. maybe maybe Maybe next season they'll cast Johnny Depp in it. Shut up. ah um But no, I really liked it. it was ah It was a pretty lighthearted show, but I found myself kind of just...
00:36:59
Speaker
ah yeah You know, you know how I feel about the East Coast. You know, I feel about these kind of places. I just, I love it so much to sort of be in that environment was very friendly to me and I enjoyed it very much. And listen, if you're going to cast Regina Hall in anything, I'll watch it.
00:37:15
Speaker
So. fuck yeah Hell yeah. You heard it here, folks. Listen. um Andrew, before I give you my first one, I'm going to give you a list of horror films. Are you ready? And you're going to tell me what is all in common with them. Are you ready?
00:37:27
Speaker
Okay. Near Dark, Bright Burn, Mother's Day 2010, Critters, The Dead Can't Dance, Critters 2, The Main Course, Sun, Bender, Nothing Left to Fear, and Night Screams.
00:37:38
Speaker
What the fuck? That is all over the place. And the fact that you included Mother's Day 2010, which is a movie that nobody has seen. Yeah. Are you fucking ready? what would you are you ready and Are you ready to know with what the common thread is?
00:37:50
Speaker
Rebecca DeMornay? That's not it. No. Okay. They all take place in the sluttiest city in America. Oh, Kansas. Goddamn it. That's what it is. We're to keep this going. Goddamn you motherfucker. We're going to keep this going throughout the episode. Listen, my first one, folks, I'm going to just turn this around, Andrew, on paper, is Cape Fear. This is Cape Fear on Apple TV.
00:38:13
Speaker
um And it's almost done. This might be, this might be between this and Widow's Bay. This might be the reason I get Apple TV. yeah Okay. but Widow's Bay. Okay. Number one, Andrew, you will love Widow's Bay.
00:38:27
Speaker
Yeah. Like like truly. and And also you guys, you probably already have a free subscription to Apple TV. You just don't know. In some way, shape or form. I know. Yes. Just fucking do it. Like, and there, and there are really great shows on there that you're missing. There's also a lot of shit, but it's like anything else. So like, and I think you also might like silo quite a bit, to be honest. Um, and a couple of other things. Anyways, Cape fear is, uh, widow's Bay. I wish I could watch it again for the first time. It is that good. It is such a great fucking show.
00:38:54
Speaker
Cape fear is a re-imagining yet again of an old story that has been told many times and it's had multiple films. Uh, we've, And we've and and we've we've done it on this show. I know. And i i was i I didn't realize how much I was going to hate that um that that one, but I sure did. This one has a lot of great actors in it. It's got Javier Bardem. It's got Amy Adams. It's got Patrick Wilson. It's got Juliette Lewis. It's got Ron pearlman Oh, she's back. Juliet Lewis is back for this yeah version. Yep. It's got ah Patrick Fishler.
00:39:23
Speaker
It has a woman who I didn't actually know her name. And it's apparently CCH Pounder. I don't know. oh yeah. You don't know that? She's a psychopath.
00:39:35
Speaker
but i but i Well, I guess I just never knew her real name. What is CCH? I don't know. I just always knew her. pretty Is her name just CCH? Is that it? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. i mean and or look or Or Miss Pounder, if you like it. Miss Pounder. Gotcha. Look, beautiful name. I just didn't know that that was her name. Anyways, there we are. she's been in a ton of stuff. Well, exactly, but i just I've never known her real name. Anyways, um look, that's the show. lots of Lots of great people in it, right? And like look, it's not that this is – it's not terrible, but it's just one of those fucking things where it just like won't end. And every episode, it just keeps replaying the same fucking thing that's driving it the whole time.
00:40:12
Speaker
and it's it's And I'm not going to give anything away because you just just watch it. um it but it But it just kind of pisses you off. It's like this does not need to be... like a 12 episode fucking series or however many episodes it's going to be. This could just, you know, it could just be 90 minutes instead of making a series, just make a movie of Cape Fear again. Have Javier Bardem in it. He's great. Patrick Wilson, all the rest. Sure. But make it a movie and don't make it fucking just ages fucking long. It's too long. how I felt about that show. All her fault. i Oh, like oh, oh my God. One million fucking percent. One million percent. It drove me nuts.
00:40:51
Speaker
Drove me nuts. Yeah. And like, you know what? that That would have been a great show once again if they had just like cut it in half. Like, just do that. But unfortunately, and they didn't. So here we are now. Of course, I'm going to finish it. But I got to be honest. I'm kind of out of it. I'm just like, whatever at this point. It's like, how many more crazy things could happen? How many more gross things could happen? How many more this? How many more that? Apparently...
00:41:14
Speaker
like three more episodes worth. So anyways, that's Cape Fear. I'm a half and half on this. People are probably going to watch it anyway, but i don't know. I don't really recommend it if I'm being honest. Yeah, yeah it's it's funny because in my rewatch of watching Tales from the Crypt, where these episodes are twenty literally 25 minutes long, and they they put it they put in a whole love plot and a whole like a thing in 25 minutes, I'm consistently reminded that we are just stretching things too far. yeah All for that ad revenue, bitch, you know what i mean? Or for, you know, whatever the fuck.
00:41:47
Speaker
Yeah. all right. My second one um is one of the new releases from Shudder. I watched on the AMC Plus because you know how I feel about this whole situation with Shudder and AMC Plus. I just think AMC Plus is the better recommendation for people if you're going to pay into a system because you get a lot more.
00:42:04
Speaker
um And it is Faces of Death. Have you heard of this? I have heard of this. Yes. but Now, are you familiar with the 80s Faces of Death? I am. Yes. Okay.
00:42:16
Speaker
So there was a for people that don't know, there was a video nasty, as you would say it over in the UK, called Faces of Death. And it it supposed supposedly like showed real people dying on film like that was like their whole thing.
00:42:32
Speaker
And in this Faces of Death, it is a copycat killer that is reenacting these ah scenes from the movie Faces of Death. But a woman who works for, let's just say it's meta, like she works for there she works She works for ah a company like Meta. where she basically Not that they do this anymore because they don't, but she goes through and watches videos and makes sure that they're either safe for ah consumption or rejects them like for like various reasons. And she comes across these tapes and she gets like she just feels like there's something wrong about these ones. And she takes it to her boss and you know they're trying to figure it out and she gets kind of sucked up into this whole world of this serial killer. um
00:43:20
Speaker
I would recommend this one. I think it was, it's a little cheap looking. I'll be honest, like ah that like the quality is like, it's Shudder. I mean, it's it's it's a Shudder quality movie, but that that that the plot is pretty good. and i and And I liked the main actress quite a bit. And so I would recommend this one, but just know you're getting into a Shudder movie, if that makes any sense. and that That's fair. That's fair. Yeah.
00:43:46
Speaker
Okay, cool. ah My next one is one that I just watched yesterday because finally out, and that is Heartstopper Forever. It is the end, ah the close of the Heartstopper series and story on Netflix. um And it's, it's it's it's um I think that it's a good wrap to Heartstopper. I do. Oh, that's good. Um, I, uh, Heartstopper is something that I really love. Um, I've got all the, the graphic novels and a few of her other books that she wrote to Alice Oseman.
00:44:18
Speaker
Um, this started back in 2020. So it's been six years now going or, or just like five, five and some five and change. Um, and you know, the, the series over time has, has mostly been really good. Season one, fantastic. Season two, not so great. They kind of rushed through that in my opinion. um And season three, ah not so bad. And they, you know, they had to kind of condense books to to to make them all fit into that that range.
00:44:45
Speaker
And Heartstopper Forever is basically the sixth book ah all the way through, which i which I also just read before I watched it. um and so this one closes out the story of nick and charlie as well as um ah all the other characters in the show too one interesting thing about this one is that um one of the one of the great things about heartstopper was that olivia fucking coleman was in it olivia coleman was nick uh nick nelson's mom and the the scene where where nick comes out to to olivia to suit to his mom to olivia coleman is just one of the best coming out scenes ever filmed it's so good and it's so good largely because of fucking Olivia Colman duh um because she she just knows how to play fucking everything um but she was replaced by a woman named Anna Maxwell Martin all be honest yeah and and be I'll be honest i I hardly even clocked it at first like I was like wait a minute that's
00:45:39
Speaker
that's not Olivia Coleman, right? Because they do sort of strangely look alike in some ways, which is kind of weird us on screen. Um, so anyways, that is the person who's, who's playing his mom.
Film Discussion: Piranha
00:45:51
Speaker
But other than that, everything is basically the same. Um, you know, what's great about, about this one too, and I'm not going to talk talk about it forever, but what's great about this one too, is that this is the part where like they become like actual, like teenagers who are old. Like they're all like, you know, they're not, they're all like 18 now. And so like in this one, like, yeah, they like, they have sex in this and like, they like, they make out and they like touch each other and they talk about very adult things. They're sort of beyond season one where it was so innocent and light. Now they're like real, real stuff. And I think that they do a really great job with it. and You know, none of it is like soft core. It's like, it's like, it's tasteful and it's and it's really well done and it's, and it's interesting. So, um you know, I don't know. I've said this before, but like I'm really glad that kids now have something like this.
00:46:44
Speaker
You and I could have never dreamed of something like Heartstopper as a reality, i either a fictional reality or a real reality. just We never could have hoped for anything like this. That kids now have something like this, I think is absolutely wonderful. And it's a great close to the story. So you'll have to watch it to find out what happens in Nick and Charlie. um But I really enjoyed it.
00:47:05
Speaker
Good. I'm glad you could get some closure on that. um I have not even watched a ah single minute of Heartstopper, so I need to remedy that. I think you'll like Yeah. I think you'll like it. Like I said, season two does kind of suck if I'm being real, but other than that, it's good.
00:47:20
Speaker
Yeah, but now that I know that there's an ending, I feel like I can commit to it now. Totally. You know what i mean? like Totally. yeah Yeah. I get it. Cool. Well, folks, that does it for What You Been Watching, bitch. Andrew brought us The Five Star Weekend on Peacock and Faces of Death on AMC Plus Shudder.
00:47:38
Speaker
And Maddie brought us Cape Fear on Apple TV and Heartstopper Forever on Netflix. So, folks, stay tuned. We'll be right back with our first film of the episode, Piranha.
00:47:53
Speaker
Who could have imagined they were there? Who could have predicted they would attack? And now, who would survive?
00:48:05
Speaker
Piranha, they're here. Is she a bitch? Stay back! Piranha, they're hungry.
00:48:18
Speaker
Hirama, they're unstoppable. Stop that! Keep your hand out of the water. What's wrong with the water? The water is filled with carnivorous fish.
00:48:32
Speaker
Hirama, they call them the devil fish. Because wherever they go, hell waits below. They breed like flies. There'll be no way to stop them. Suddenly, no one is safe.
00:48:48
Speaker
And everyone must be warned. The water is now a human death trap. Two people have been killed up there and more have been killed all along the river. You've got to believe us.
00:49:03
Speaker
These are the man-eaters who go beyond the bite of all other jaws. Sharks come alone.
00:49:14
Speaker
Hirana come in thousands. Crazed by the scent of blood, they live by the taste of flesh.
00:49:25
Speaker
With razor teeth, they can strip a man to the bone in a frozen instant of terror. Hirana.
00:49:41
Speaker
They're here. They're hungry. They'll eat you alive. Who can stop them? we're going to talk about some big fishes later.
00:49:53
Speaker
Right now, we're going to talk about some little fishes. And those are piranha. Maddie, tell us all about piranha. When flesh-eating fish crashed the pool party.
00:50:06
Speaker
An insurance investigator and a boozy backwoods guide search for two missing teens near Lost River Lake and stumble into an abandoned military facility, accidentally unleashing a school of genetically engineered killer piranha who bred for the Vietnam War downstream streets.
00:50:28
Speaker
toward a summer camp at a lakeside resort. Of course they did. Piranha was directed by Joe Dante, right? Written by John Sayles, but from a story, if you can believe it, by Richard Robinson and John Sayles. Produced by New World Pictures, Chaco Film Company, Piranha Productions, and distributed by New World Pictures in the U.S. s and United Artists internationally.
00:50:53
Speaker
ah the cast... Well, Maggie McKeown was played by Heather Menzies. Paul Grogan played by Bradford Dillman. Dr. Robert Hoke played by Kevin McCarthy. Earl Lyon played by Kenan Wynn. Dr. Mangus played by Barbara Steele. Buck Gardner played by Dick Miller. Emphasis on the dick.
00:51:15
Speaker
Betsy played by Belinda Belaski. This film is rated R came out August 3rd of 1978. It is 94 minutes long made in America filmed in multiple places. Aqua arena Springs, San Marcos in San Marcos, Texas, Lake Austin and the Nolte dam area in Texas, uh, uh, in Wemberley, Texas. Plus there were some interiors and underwater work in LA,
00:51:41
Speaker
including a UCLA pool. The budget was about 770,000. Um, and the box office brought in 2.1 million. If you can believe it in an early theatrical run, but wider reports vary up to $16 million. dollars i don't really know why.
00:51:58
Speaker
So, um, Oh, you know what? I'm going to give you, i' going to change it up the way i do this a little bit. I'm going to say a couple of the the trivia things now. Um, Roger Corman, ah was so hands-off during the production that he reportedly didn't know who was even cast in the film until he saw the final cut.
00:52:17
Speaker
ah Universal considered suing to block the film's release for ripping off Jaws, but dropped it after Steven Spielberg previewed it and called it the best of the Jaws ripoffs. I think that's pretty funny.
00:52:30
Speaker
Uh, effects teams, uh, included future genre heavyweights, Rob Botten on gore, plus early work from Chris Wallace and Phil Tippett, who built dozens of rubber piranha puppets on sticks, some with metal teeth for closeups.
00:52:46
Speaker
This was John sales is screenwriting debut. He used the paycheck to help fund his own directing career and Joe Dante and Spielberg would go on to collaborate for Twilight Zone, the movie, in 1983, just five years later.
00:53:03
Speaker
so And we know what a disaster that movie was. So so people have died. Yeah, a little bit about Piranha. Andrew, tell me about your thoughts about this Oscar-winning film.
00:53:16
Speaker
Yeah, ah this actually is a first-time watch for me. I've i've definitely seen the 2000s Piranha. Alexandra Aja, I believe, directed that movie. and i've seen I've seen Piranha 3DD, which is really, really bad. um but I had never seen the original. So this was kind of fun to go back to and finally see to kind of ah cap off a nineteen seventy s movie that I have not seen because I think... that listeners of this show know I'm kind of a slut for these 1970s movies. um
00:53:50
Speaker
And listen, is this like a great movie? No, absolutely not. But like, I did have a lot of fun watching it because it's kind of just like a series of...
00:54:02
Speaker
stupid decisions and disasters that are man-made that are just it's it's so silly. Y'all, this is about genetically engineered piranha for the Vietnam War.
00:54:15
Speaker
if But like, like that's like, you know what I mean? I'm just saying like ridiculous. i i but i But beyond that, though, I did have fun with it. Like I did have fun watching the movie. I think that the acting of our main duo are insane.
00:54:32
Speaker
like It's it' really bizarre. and like i And I don't mean to like butt into your thing here, but like the the choice to make the dude, like as as the thing said, backwards was so weird. It's so weird. It's just like bizarre to me.
00:54:46
Speaker
to make And they make this woman in this film so like stubborn and so try-hard that she is, in fact, responsible for the entire tragedy of the movie, but she never acknowledges it. She never acknowledges that she's a problem. If you think about it, you've got three types of women in this movie, actually. You've got her, you've got the evil doctor, and you've got and you've got um the- the camp counselors. yeah Well, yeah. and And you've got the one girl who like jumps into into the into the pool with with the guy near near near the beginning, whatever they're- Oh, yeah, yeah,
00:55:27
Speaker
and like And I actually wrote it down in my notes there. I was like, you know, like of this era, you've got you've always got like scenes like this where it's like the careless young woman. Like she doesn't give a fuck about anything. Right. She's like, oh, it's a pool. Of course I'm going to jump in and What?
00:55:41
Speaker
What are you scared to jump in? I'm going to take my top off. Yeah, and of course, like there's you know there's her her boobies. And she's like, oh, come on, get in the water, you big wuss. And of course, he's the sensible one. Like, well, what if this is ah a sewage a treatment plant or something? but but but but but And I'm like, what look what is this?
00:55:59
Speaker
But it's ah it is interesting how you've got like you've you've got like archetypes of women here. So then you've got like the evil woman, and then you've got like the stubborn woman. It's it was this it's interesting how... It's interesting how Joe Dante treats women in this. well and then And then every man is just like a drunk. You know what I mean? like yeah um But yeah, overall.
00:56:19
Speaker
But the difference is that is that that actually reflects reality. Well, I will just say overall, I had fun watching the movie. do i think it's a Do I think it's a masterpiece? No. And we'll get into some of the details in a little bit. But Maddie, I think we're starting to understand what you thought about this movie. But please explain further. I mean look i think I'm on the same wavelength as you. I'll i'll be honest. um i you know ah This is a great movie to watch stoned.
00:56:47
Speaker
I'll put it that way. I think that it will enhance the experience for you. You will laugh more. um And also, you you may also, because your sensory you know stuff is on overload, you may walk away being unable to hear the sound of the piranha the 24 hours. it's still in my head.
00:57:08
Speaker
um it it won't go away, actually. I can hear it now. um Because it is a persistent thing in this movie. And um and it it is it is kind of freaky. I'll be honest. It's a sound. I'm trying to think of how I can do it. It's kind of like, it's almost like Yeah, it's it's hard to do because it's it's like they're biting and they're whatever. But like, yeah, it's got like that motor behind it, too. i don't know. It's weird.
00:57:33
Speaker
But it will be in your head. um I mean, look, it's ah it's ah it's a weird little movie, as we've already established. The the plot is absolutely ridiculous. um it's It's obviously, you know, late 70s. So there's this going to be that late 70s factor of like films that like actually took themselves seriously in that era, but we're about completely ridiculous things.
00:57:58
Speaker
And so, you know, to our modern brains, eyes and ears, it just looks, sounds, feels ridiculous. Um, but that adds to the fun of it. but Let's, let's be honest. Um, I will say, I will say that the copy that I watched on AMC plus,
00:58:12
Speaker
it looked really good for like, that that's what it is. I watched mine on to be to be, uh, you had ads. I, well, I, that's the only way i can watch some of these things because of course international rules. Um, and I finally found a VPN for my Apple TV that I can use to watch it.
00:58:32
Speaker
Um, so it works for the most part. Anyways. Um, Yeah, you know, ah there's nothing deep to dive into here. Pardon the pun. It's just, ah you know, it's a movie about fucking piranhas eating people. And they're fucking vicious and they're smarter than you think. And they're impossible to beat. And I i do like how the movie does not discriminate with age. You know what i mean? Like, yeah you know what? They're going to eat adults. And guess what else?
00:58:58
Speaker
to little kids. They're going to eat fucking little kids. And like, that is the mean part of the movie, isn't it? Like they're going after a fucking camp. They're their fucking inner tubes and shit. Before you know it, all these fucking kids, fucking, you know, feet, legs, fucking butts. They were doing that in there. Like they're all getting fucking eaten by this piranha. And that is pretty scary. You know, like it that like preys on your fucking fears as, you know, as a kid.
00:59:22
Speaker
So, so yeah, I mean, that's it. You know, and so speaking of, of that, that young couple diving into that pool earlier and he's like, what if it's a sewage treatment plant?
00:59:33
Speaker
I was like, yeah, I was kind of like, look at the fucking water. You freaks. Like well there's nowhere else that you can take a bath right now. No, that's the world. You're going to dive in right here.
00:59:44
Speaker
That's the thing though, is they're hiking the river. So why not just go in the river? Go in the river, you psychopaths. You do not have to go in this fucking thing, which looks like a sewage treatment plant. I actually agree with the dude right there. I have to be honest. was very weird. Well, it's funny because at the beginning the movie, they're like, oh, what is this place? And it clearly says like restricted, know, ex-military, da-da-da-da-da, you know, do not enter. And they're like, check it out. I wonder what this could possibly be.
01:00:15
Speaker
um One thing I did want to bring up just because it was such a standout time in the movie is where they are captured by the military. And they're the only two that know like what's going on with the piranha because they're the whole thing about this movie is that every it's like a massive cover up. Like everyone wants to cover up that these piranha are loose, like for some reason, instead of taking care of the issue. Um, and,
01:00:40
Speaker
And there's a point where they're trying to escape and they're like, all right, well, you go distract him and you know we'll I'll get the the the vehicle and we'll all get away.
01:00:52
Speaker
and she goes And she turns to him and she goes, what if he's gay? I doubt you even for that now. Yeah. And he goes, well, then I'll distract him. That's hilarious. I thought that that was pretty funny for a 1978 movie. Yeah, for a 78, that's actually a pretty well-timed and good joke.
01:01:10
Speaker
Well, and it's funny because then what does she do? She goes out to distract the guy and she goes, are you gay? And he's so off put by it. He's like, wait, what? And then she just flashes her boobs and they and they get away or whatever.
01:01:24
Speaker
I do think that that was like a standout thing for like 1978 movie that even like gay would even come up. You know what i mean? Like in these kind of like caper movies. well Queers, listen up. Here's one for you to watch right here. Piranha. You didn't know it was a movie, but gay classic. We watched this one for pride month, bitch. That's what we do.
01:01:44
Speaker
um There was a couple of funny ah little lines in here where the scientist is explaining like what she because she's like the evil scientist. Like she's got like the evil stare at oh at all points. i it almost ends It ends with her evil stare, which I thought was actually kind of cool.
01:02:02
Speaker
and it's very like james bond like like level of like evil you know what mean um but she is she's explaining it and then she's explaining that she knew the guy who was watching the facility the one that tried to stop them from draining the the the pool um and she's like yeah well fish genetics are is a very so is a very niche audience and I was like what you don't you don't say lady really no way my god i do want to just like echo back to this though like did you not count that like the woman that's like you know what I'm an insurance investigator I need to find where these people are and she makes this guy go to this place she doesn't
01:02:47
Speaker
she's the she's responsible for all of it. And she does nothing to take any accountability. In fact, she blames literally everyone around her. like Those piranhas would eventually starve to death in that pool yeah like if she had not just...
01:03:04
Speaker
let them go for some reason. What a fucking hoe, if I'm being honest. Listen, am not a woman hater, but this woman, ooh, I don't like her. i'm not i'm not a woman hater, but I am an idiot. and I'm an idiot hater. And you know what? You're an an idiot, and you're probably a slut, and you should probably go live in Kansas City. Now, Andrew, too, one thing I just thought of here was, what how much do we how much do you and I really know about Piranha?
01:03:31
Speaker
And um I'm looking at photos of piranha on, I guess you just call them piranhas. I don't know. I'm looking at some photos of them online, Andrew. ah You may have heard of the internet. um And they are they are pretty fucking terrifying. I'm not going to lie. like They've got fucking, I mean, they've got fucking real teeth.
01:03:52
Speaker
Like for real, very, very sharp, disgusting. They're piranha. And if I click on the... What do you mean? If I click on the, from ah from from Uncle Google, if I click on the people also ask, how harmful are piranhas?
01:04:05
Speaker
Piranhas are highly exaggerated, Andrew, in pop culture. They rarely attack humans and fatalities are extremely rare. While they have razor sharp interlocking teeth and a powerful bite, they are generally shy scavengers. Most attacks result in minor nips to toes or fingers, usually when they are protecting their nests um or when food is scarce. So this movie, guess what, is actually a lie.
01:04:35
Speaker
Well, these are genetically modified piranha. Fair enough. I should say. That is a good point, but this is unlikely. Oh! Go ahead. What? What happened? What? have thing what So what is with the creature at the beginning? Do you remember this? Okay, listen. Do you mean baby Jar Jar Binks? Is that you're talking about? there claymation creature. What the fuck? What the fuck?
01:04:58
Speaker
that they spend at least five minutes of the movie focusing on. Yeah. And and it never back. And then never comes back ever. Yeah, right. Like, what was that?
01:05:09
Speaker
There had to have been something cut from the movie. Has to have been. and and i And I don't know. But like, like I thought he was going I thought he was going to become like a buddy like animal, like an ET type of thing. I mean, if if someone out there knows, please let us know. But like i'm I'm just guessing that another through line got fucking like cut out of the movie. um But maybe that's just like another fucking genetic monster they were working on or some shit. But they concentrate so much on it. I i just don't understand why it never...
01:05:39
Speaker
becomes a part of the plot. Girl, I don't know, but I'll tell you what, I'm glad. Because I don't need Jar Jar Binks in anything else in my life. I really don't. I've i've i had enough of them. A couple of things I clocked in my notes. um There's a part in the movie where they're like, where you think that the... I think they're trying to play it off like they're romantically gonna be involved or whatever. And she sits next to him on the couch and he takes out a couch blanket and puts it over his shoes.
01:06:09
Speaker
And it really bugged me. I don't know why, but it really, really bugged me that he put it on over his shoes. I just, I don't understand. i don't understand it. I don't know if you clocked a couple. I, I, i for some reason i dial into like very weird details ah in movies like this, but I think that people like Joe Dante who would go on to do gremlins, right? Yep.
01:06:33
Speaker
Yep. Yeah. um He put in a couple of weird little things in this movie, and I wanted to bring them to your attention. um There is a newspaper that I believe one of the police officers is reading or something along those lines. Sure. And the headline is, Dogs Tear Up Newborn Baby. Yeah. Yes.
01:06:57
Speaker
and then there was another yeah And then there is another magazine later in the movie where it says, it literally says, piranhas leave little a little behind.
01:07:10
Speaker
What? What are we talking about?
01:07:15
Speaker
wow um I thought it was very weird that every time that they were driving, they sped up the film. I don't know if you clocked that. Yeah. But that to try to make it more dangerous, I guess. And then there is an unspeakable part towards the end of the movie involving a um ah water skier where he's doing all these cool tricks and everything. And out of nowhere, another character we've never seen in the movie is drives a speedboat directly into another one ah for no reason.
01:07:51
Speaker
Oh, it's perfect. so I just wanted to get your, I just wanted to get your thoughts on that. How did, how did you think about the boat on boat ah experience in this movie? No, I don't want to get canceled, Andrew, for my views on boat on boat violence. um So i'm I'm hoping that, you know, no one has the woke mind virus right now. do you know what i mean? Coming after me on this.
01:08:13
Speaker
All I will say is, look, I, I can't, I don't have a window into Joe Dante's soul. you know what I mean? i am interested in Piranha 2. Oh, hell yeah. Well, also I'm just, I'm doing it. You may have heard of the internet and I've been doing a little, um, a little research on the cast, Andrew, Paul Grogan, right?
01:08:36
Speaker
Our backwoods hero, Our backwoods drunk hero, yes. Incredibly interesting career. Do you want to hear about it? Sure. So he was the first one to play Edmund Tyrone in Eugene O'Neill, probably the best American playwright of all time, in in the OG Long Day's Journey Into Night on Broadway.
01:09:00
Speaker
He won the Cannes Film Festival the Award Best Actor for Compulsion. He was a Golden Globe winner. He was a Prime Time Emmy Award nominee. Truly. He went to Yale University and studied at the famed Actors Studio.
01:09:20
Speaker
Like the best school for acting in in acting a history, for God's sake. He was also a first lieutenant in the Korean War. ah oh my God. In the United States Marine Corps, Semper Fi.
01:09:34
Speaker
um And he has got just kind of an incredible career. Like, so many different things. He was in ah ah the FBI on on TV. He was in Dr. Kildare, court-martial. He was in the Hitchcock Hour. he was in...
01:09:49
Speaker
Shane, Night of the Game, Columbo, The Wild Wild West, Night Gallery, The 11th Hour, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Barnaby Jones, blah, blah, blah, blah. Just like so much shit. Yeah, but i forget. i think that you forget that he was also in the Academy Award winning Piranha.
01:10:04
Speaker
Yes. of that ah You know what? Good good point, Andrew. um Which is probably the pinnacle of his career. As a man collects liquor. You know? um So, anyways, i just I wanted to make sure that our audience knew about this because... That's kind of insane, to be honest. It truly is. like And when you see that, you're just like, how how did these things happen like how is this possible but here we are yeah all right well here at fraggie the 13th horror podcast we grade things on a seven stripe scale for the seven stripes of the gay old rainbow maddie what do you give piranha andrew gave it a four so bizarre so bizarre what a film
01:10:43
Speaker
Yeah, I also gave it a four. I said it's a fun late 70s romp, but damn, this bitch is the ultimate Karen. Amen. and Andrew, that does it for Piranha. Folks, stay tuned. We'll be right back with our second film of the episode, Jaws 3.
01:11:02
Speaker
A creature alive today has survived millions of years of evolution. It lives to kill a mindless eating machine will attack and devour anything.
01:11:18
Speaker
One terrified you like nothing you have ever experienced when it captured your imagination and tapped your fear like no movie before it. Then, just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water,
01:11:33
Speaker
Two continued the legend and spread the fear. Next summer, nature's most terrifying creature takes on all new dimension in an all new And for the first time, the terror of Jaws will not stop at the edge of the screen.
01:11:59
Speaker
Jaws 3D. The third dimension is terror. Ba-dup, ba-dup.
01:12:17
Speaker
but a
01:12:22
Speaker
It's Jaws 3D your face. Imagine wearing 3D glasses. You can't do that with this podcast, but Andrew will tell you all about jaws three d Third time's not the charm. The Brody boys head to Florida SeaWorld-style marine park where a young great white slips through the malfunctioning gate, following by its much bigger, much angrier mother hunting through the park's underwater tunnels for her missing offspring this is directed by joe alves is written by richard matheson and carl uh gott gottlieb um and story by guerdon trueblood these names sound insane i know i know um Production was handled by Universal Pictures and Alan Landsberg Productions. MCA Theatrics and distributor was Universal Pictures. and We saw that logo right at the beginning. The cast is for the second episode in a row.
01:13:27
Speaker
We have to deal... With Dennis Quaid as Mike Brody. Dr. Catherine Morgan ah is played by Bess Armstrong.
Film Discussion: Jaws 3D
01:13:37
Speaker
Philip Fitzroy is played by Simon McCrockendale, which I'm going to assume the ah crocodile hunter got his liter rockenile literal...
01:13:50
Speaker
Calvin Bouchard is played by Louis Gossett Jr. Sean Brody is played by John Putch and Kelly and Bukowski is played by Leah Thompson. Jack Tate is played by P.H. Moriarty and Shelby Overman is played by Harry Grant. This is rated PG. if You can surprise him. Even though limbs literally blow off at the screen.
01:14:11
Speaker
in the end this one. um it comes in at minutes. It was was made in the USA, obviously, at SeaWorld in Orlando and Universal Studios Soundstages in Florida, which I have been to. It was released in July 1983. was about million box office at about million.
01:14:34
Speaker
dollars maddie Tell me all about your experience with Jaws 3D. And if you can help it, let's not talk about the original Jaws because we could cover that at a later that later date. um And this is really its own thing. It truly is.
01:14:51
Speaker
um yeah first time watching jaws 3d got some news oh really okay yep never saw it before it didn't and certainly you haven't seen it 3d um so you know like it's one of those things where it just it suffers from the 3d of it all and like you're not you're not watching it in the cinema you're not you don't have 3d glasses on like you know so there is just that there is just that So you would think that Maddie Zeredich would probably hate it but I actually kind of loved it. I'm not going to lie. Because it took itself so seriously.
01:15:26
Speaker
It's like, it's so, this movie is so earnest and so fucking weird. And like you've got fucking, you know, you've got a little bit of everything you've got. You've got from like people who really care about animals and like care about sea mammals, um which in my previous life, folks might not know that I was more connected to sea mammals than you might imagine when I was engaged to somebody.
01:15:53
Speaker
who was a dolphin trainer person and um beluga and all that kind of shit. So i've I've like been in the water with these animals before, you know, and like not like in some weird pool in like, you know, i don't know, some some island or something. Like I've like been in the fucking pool with a beluga before and like fed them and like, you know, when the dolphin died at the aquarium, like I was there for that. It was really sad. So like there there's like the one scene where they have that shark in the really shallow pool. do you know what I mean?
01:16:22
Speaker
And like, that was actually really awful. like Like that was, that was terrible. And like the way that they played that was actually really well done. was really well done. So you've got all that kind of stuff.
01:16:35
Speaker
And then you've got people fucking do water skiing in like munchkins outfits. Do you know what I'm trying to say? Like they look like they're wearing picnic tablecloths and they look like munchkins from the Wizard of Oz and they're doing these crazy water ski fucking flips and shit and making pyramids and things go wrong, of course. And like sharks attack them.
01:17:01
Speaker
And like, that's part of the movie too. You've got shitty effects with a shark. That's part of it too. um And in all of it, like nothing is ironic. You know, it's just all like, it's all played like it's fucking real, man. And I gotta, to I gotta say, I've got a little respect for that.
01:17:19
Speaker
You know, um another thing that I thought about too was ah I'm a big fan of the life aquatic with Steve Zissou from Wes Anderson. And it was really interesting watching this because some of the imagery and the way that like the 3Dness of it is done.
01:17:36
Speaker
i was like, I bet you Wes Anderson got some imagery ideas from this fucking movie. Interesting. nearly guarantee you that he did. It just kind of looked a little bit like it.
01:17:48
Speaker
So, you know, yeah, like it was it was kind of a fun movie to watch. um i i i and I enjoyed it. I had a good time. I got to tell you, I did. So, yeah, this is, you know, I want to say this is not my first time watching it.
01:18:04
Speaker
But if you asked me what the movie was about before I watched it for this episode, I would have said it's about SeaWorld. That's all I remember. yeah. It was kind of like watching a new movie again. you know which is Which is not wrong, to be fair. yeah like um yeah And then, you know, I'm watching the movie and then I have to be confronted with fucking Dennis Quaid again, which i don't want. den qua Dennis Dennis Quaid. And listen, and i think it's a... Andrew, it's better than Randy Quaid.
01:18:35
Speaker
Yeah, true. Well, let's yeah be honest. that's but Quades are not great. It's way better Randy Quaid, though. Randy Quaid would be a a down be a downgrade. um At least he's kind of cute in this movie, I guess. Yes, he is.
01:18:49
Speaker
i I think that this is a fine movie. I think that it's it's fine. i mean i agree. we We have to understand that 3D technology was not at the point it is now or maybe ever will be because I feel like we've kind of abandoned like the 3D of it all. Agreed. um And it's 1983, so we kind of give it a little bit of...
01:19:11
Speaker
I don't know, a little bit of credit to try these different things. I i think the most egregious ah effort in this 3D-ness of this movie is where they shoot the screen with the ah the the liquid that they're going to sedate the shark with, and it literally bounces off the camera screen, which I was like, I don't think that's what you meant to do with 3D. That's um And then the other egregious account is when that the shark rams the control room, which... Yeah,
01:19:39
Speaker
It's so bad, but I give it a little bit of credit just because they were trying something new. um I think it's an interesting concept to set it at a SeaWorld.
01:19:51
Speaker
SeaWorld, it is really funny, though, because SeaWorld is famously in Orlando, which is in the middle of the state, not by the ocean. So I don't know how the shark gets into the sea world. um You know, I just want to point out that earlier i said that Kansas City was the sluttiest city in America. Yes. And i'd like to... Well established at this point.
01:20:16
Speaker
I'd like to just follow up by saying that Orlando is the best city in America, Andrew. Oh, no. no's There's nothing else like it. Do you know what i mean? Like you can do anything there. You you can be, you can truly, you can be whoever you want to be, be whoever you want to be in Orlando. Do you know what i mean? So I just wanted to point that out for you. Go ahead. um But no, it was, it was pretty fun. i mean, i famously told my seventh grade teacher that I wanted to be Shamu's trainer when I grew up. wow so this did hit a little harder for me. um Now, famously, I'm terrified of deep water that I can't see underneath. Yeah, as frankly, as you should be. I'm not going to lie.
01:20:54
Speaker
um i I just think that there's so many weird things about this movie. Like, there's the guy who I you know what talked about in the intro who literally is the epitome of the crocodile hunter, but England version. Yeah, basically. Mr. Fitzpatrick, who or Fitzroy, sorry. um Who, you know what? I kind of did have a little bit of a crush on. Simon Van Corkendale.
01:21:17
Speaker
When he does get eaten at the end, I was a little disappointed. But you know what? That that character's fate was sealed from the moment he came on screen. so andrew Andrew, you know, things fucking happen, man. You know, they happen. um i thought i i i do think that it's interesting that they still try to make it about the Brody family, which is ah just like a...
01:21:37
Speaker
This could literally just be about like people at SeaWorld, but somehow they weave in the Brody brothers from the original two Jaws movies. And it's it's so strange how they make the one brother literally doesn't even fucking remember anything to do with the first two movies. And the other one is traumatized by the other two movies. So strange. It's so strange how they treat those two characters. And it's even more strange that the older brother wants to interrupt the sexual ah it the sexual things that his little brother is doing. um like and then And then they like fight in a humbly kind of touchy way over being for being real.
01:22:23
Speaker
And his brother is in like his tighty-whities. You know what I mean? like It's not like... It's very homophobic. people just People grow up in different ways, Andrew. What can I say? You know, they grow up in different ways.
01:22:35
Speaker
Yeah. And i I do kind of like the back half of this movie where the ah shark, where we're we're kind of like up against the shark,
01:22:46
Speaker
essentially trying to destroy the underwater sea world and those people are trapped i get very like poseidon adventure like kind of like themes around that which i kind of did like i thought that that was interesting i kind of wish we would have gotten to know some of those characters a little bit more because we have like the strong-headed female like sea world uh she's like the one that takes charge but she's not been in the movie up until that point and so we don't know like what to do with her I think that if that would have been the Leah Thompson character maybe it would have made a little bit more sense for her to be down there but no we but no we just we denigrate ah the Leah Thompson character to just being a flippant woman who gets attacked by a shark and then is taken off screen and we never see her or the younger Brody brother ever again another female archetype
01:23:35
Speaker
it's it's just ah it's This is a very strange movie when you really like break it down like by scene because there's the side of it where you're talking about like the scientist and like the the conservationist that is like the kind of like main woman, ah the the blunt Bob woman who's like the dolphin trainer.
01:23:56
Speaker
And then you have like this whole other side of the movie where you're like, What about the dolphins? What about Sydney and sunny, right? Cindy, Cindy and Sandy, Cindy and Sandy.
01:24:08
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And so I just, I don't i think they tried to get too much into a 98 minute movie. um And then on top of that, they have to put in all of these gags for the 3dness of it all. And so at the end of the day, I'm just kind of like, what the fuck are we watching? um i i i loved how there were rainbow decorations at sea world before it was really like pride stuff do you know what mean just thought that was hilarious this is the most 80s 80s people that have ever existed it's such a time capsule of of that time and it
01:24:40
Speaker
like it just everything felt so old like i know it's old but like it felt so old it was actually just like funny sometimes um a couple of other things like like who really wants to have sex in the water i just think that's that's like ah that doesn't work i don't i don't know what to say but it but it doesn't work um i've already talked a little bit about the wes anderson thing um but ah you know back to my point about just how earnest it really felt like i mean It just, it the the it's it's just, I don't know. It it felt like like it's supposed to be cheesy, but it just didn't feel that way to me at all. It just felt kind of like lovey-dovey and like nostalgic almost.
01:25:18
Speaker
um Kind of loved it. There was the one scene where Dennis Quaid is wearing a pitted out green polo. Did you clock that? yeah And I was just like, did no one think of this? Like no one saw that and was like, let's just get him a different color shirt. Or like, right let's have him wear white. Or maybe let's just have him wear deodorant. Is that possible? um And can we talk about, Andrew, the fucking dance team with the pig in the middle?
01:25:43
Speaker
Oh, yeah. What the? Have you ever been to a SeaWorld? I've never been to SeaWorld with Andrew. i never will. um This is what they do. Is that what they do? They a dance with a pig?
01:25:55
Speaker
Well, they do they just put on like but like with little weird shows that you like watch people water ski and dance. like It's very weird. It was so bizarre. like watching that that I was like, i i just don't understand what's what's happening, but I also kind of loved it. It was it was ridiculous.
01:26:11
Speaker
I actually just think that's footage from SeaWorld, to be honest. ah You know what? Amazing. And then ah back to the fucking people on water skis. I just thought it was brilliant and very, very funny because once again, me, they're dressed like they're in Munchkinland. And You know what bugged me? Do you know what bugged me about that whole water ski thing? Is that no one gets eaten by a shark. Yeah, they should have eaten them all. They should have eaten every fucking month. But you know what I mean?
01:26:45
Speaker
That's the point of Jaws is that people get eaten by sharks. like That's like the whole thing. like And we have this opportunity for like the the the water ski where they're being chased by the the mother shark. Yeah.
01:26:59
Speaker
And none of them get eaten. And I was like, well, what's the point then? i don't know. Not that I want people to die. But listen, do I want people to get shark attacked in a shark attack movie? Yeah.
01:27:09
Speaker
It's not that you want people to die. It's that you want the shark to eat is what I think you're trying to say. Sure. um Andrew, was some trivia before we before we eventually get to wrapping this one up. ah Roy Scheider refused to return as Chief Brody.
01:27:23
Speaker
He said that Mephistopheles couldn't talk me into doing it. That's very dramatic. Before this version, Zanuck and Brown had developed an actual spoof titled, oh my God,
01:27:34
Speaker
National Lampoon's Jaws 3. ah ah ah National Lampoon's Jaws 3, People Zero. That's funny. I get it. There go. I like that. Joe Dante was attached to wreck.
01:27:47
Speaker
what What's wrong? Are you okay? No, I just find that very strange that we just did a Joe Dante film and this is connected somehow. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I didn't didn't even clock that ah Joe Dante was attached to direct and it reportedly opened with Peter Benchley getting eaten in his own pool. Spielberg killed the idea. yep Spielberg killed the idea and threatened to walk from Universal over it. Studio execs pushed the filmmakers to add more pop out 3D gimmick shots in a original planners. It had nineteen eighty three s second highest opening weekends, ah grossing 13.4 million in its the first three days.
01:28:23
Speaker
ah The dolphins in the film, once again, are Cindy and Sandy, who are genuine, or I should say were, genuine SeaWorld residents used in the production. And can we just talk about the ending? Now you thought that you thought you thought Free Willy fucking and man you thought Free Willy had a great ending.
01:28:41
Speaker
Wait till you see Jaws 3D with I think it's Cindy comes over first and they can't find Sandy. And then finally they're tapping the water. They're tapping the water. Everyone's worried. Where the fuck is Sandy? Where the fuck this is Sandy? after they have this is after they have 3D exploded a shark with a grenade. Yeah. Where the fuck is Sandy? And then, oh my God, Sandy does a fucking like triple camel toe fucking jive drive full out of the water. And fucking what's your face? um
01:29:14
Speaker
Catherine. she's got her fucking arms up in victory. i think She is victorious. What is she saying? if we she Did she say, let's go? Did she say, she said something like, all right, or like, yeah, let's go. This is, this is before let's go culture. So I think that this, she was like, yeah, yeah it's something something like that. And, and like,
01:29:35
Speaker
yeah i it's it's so incredibly dumb like it's so incredibly dumb but I loved it so much i loved it so much it made I was laughing so fucking hard by myself on the couch it was very funny and unironically funny so it made that makes it even better to be honest Yeah, i was I was really disappointed with the um conclusion of the Sean Brody, Kellyanne Bukowski. I think you mean Sean Cody, Andrew. No, I don't. ah
01:30:09
Speaker
I just was like, oh, so we're just going to let the brother be further, ah further just devastated because now he's been involved in a bumper boat incident with a with a shark. Yeah, of course. um And I believe if I remember correctly in Jaws, the revenge, he dies at the beginning at the, at the, with a shark. One of the brothers does. I know that. I don't know if it's Mike or Sean, um but you know what? We'll leave the Jaws, the revenge for another episode.
01:30:39
Speaker
Andrew, tell me what you rated jaws three d Go ahead. I think this is a three and a half. It's an average movie. I said, um this was fun to see early SeaWorld culture, but beyond that, it's kind of just average. Sure.
01:30:53
Speaker
Well, guess what, Andrew? i give it a four and a half. I'm not lying. Jesus Christ. Because I actually, I just, I truly, like, I know it's so dumb. Don't get me wrong. I know it's dumb. I know it's stupid.
01:31:03
Speaker
But I had such a fun time watching it. I couldn't, I couldn't give it less than that. I really couldn't. So, like, I guess maybe that's just my experience here, but... go Jaws 3D. I might watch it again. I'm not going to lie. i could I could probably watch it again.
01:31:17
Speaker
Now, ah this is just kind of a weird offshoot of of this conversation, but like, are you a fan of like the Jaws series? No. Okay. I'm not. i'm I'm not really into aquatic animal horror aquatic horror yeah i'm just like it's it's not you're not you're not sitting down every night watching deep blue sea no and like you know look i know that there are there are people who just really love that particular part of of the of the entire genre and that's that's awesome i think it's really cool it's just it's not my fucking thing man but you know like if it is cool which is why this surprised me like it actually well it is really funny though because the only the only other shark movie we've watched you actually loved so which one was that which one um It's the one with Blake Lively where she's on the rock. You know what? See, that's the thing. It's like, maybe I need to stop being a person of such absolutes. Do you know what I mean? Like, and I have gotten better at that as I've grown, as I've grown up.
Wrap-up and Game Introduction: Wet, Wild, or Wrong
01:32:12
Speaker
I mean, as I've grown older. um But like, yeah, like, you know, that's that is kind of the nice thing about growing is that you you realize like, yeah, actually, maybe I don't really think that. Do you know what i mean? it' funny because you always label yourself as somebody that doesn't like creature features, but every time. And I love creature feature, you love That's it. Well, you know what I think it is? I think it's that I don't seek them out.
01:32:33
Speaker
Right. sure Sure. But then, but then like, obviously with, and you've, you've had the same thing with, you know, different movies here with the podcast. We, I don't want to use the word force, but you, you're sort of forced to watch something very different and then it surprises you.
01:32:46
Speaker
And, and that is, that is nice. That is nice. People out there start a horror podcast. You'll be surprised how and how it happens for you. If you want to do that, go ahead. All right, well, that will do it for our horror in the movies. But we'll be right back to close out the show with a fun game called Wet, Wild or Wrong.
01:33:06
Speaker
Every year, more than 4,200 people are taken to the hospital after suffering injuries on public water slides. There are no two states that regulate amusement rides and water park rides the same way.
01:33:18
Speaker
There is a minimum height requirement in place for that slide. But park officials now tell us they're considering additional safety measures, like a weight requirement and changing the water pressure on the slide.
01:33:30
Speaker
Well, my friends, that was episode 166 of Fry Gay the 13th Horror Podcast. So I hope you enjoyed it. But before we go, you little sluts in Kansas City,
01:33:46
Speaker
Andrew has got a game for us. And the game is called, wait, what is it called again, Andrew? It's called Wet, Wild, or Wrong. So, Andrew, tell us about um thoughts us about this game. What are we doing?
01:33:59
Speaker
Now, do you remember what that that that that name comes from? Did you watch Wet, Wild, and Crazy Kids on Nickelodeon? I didn't have cable growing up. We were poor, Andrew. I grew up in a one-room farmhouse with a dirt floor. We didn't have Nickelodeon. No, didn't. Shut wrong with you you grew up you grew up in the suburbs of indiana shut up that is that is true yes that is true all right so the name of this game is wet wild or wrong i'm going to give you three water ride names two of them are actual names of of rides and one is wrong so all you have to do is identify the wrong one does that make sense yeah tell me all right the first one your first three rides are summit plummet
01:34:45
Speaker
The Wedgie Express or Mammoth? The Wedgie Express is the wrong one. Correct. I started you off with an easy one. They're going to get harder now. All right. Your second one.
01:34:57
Speaker
Black Hole. Brainwash or Splash Damage. Black Hole is is the wrong one. No, Splash Damage is the wrong one that I made up.
01:35:09
Speaker
Fuck. All right, your next one. Regret Rapids, Scorpion's Tail, or Dolphin Plunge? what Wait, what was the first one again? Say it.
01:35:19
Speaker
Regret Rapids. That's the wrong one. That is the wrong one. and You are correct. Got it. We've got three more to go Is it The Abyss, The Atomic Wedgie, or The Tornado?
01:35:34
Speaker
Atomic wedgie. You're correct. I put wedgie in here way too much. I know. All right. if Your fifth one, the tube of doom. Wow. The leap of faith or the dragon's den.
01:35:49
Speaker
Tube of doom. Yeah, you're correct. You're good at this one. all right. Two more to go. The Wildebeest, the Soggy Bottom Run, or the Thunder Rapids?
01:36:01
Speaker
ah See, the problem here is that Soggy Bottom is probably some kind of like SpongeBob reference. And so that one actually might be real. What were the other two again? The Wildebeest or Thunder Rapids.
01:36:15
Speaker
The wildebeest. No, soggy bottom run is But see, I thought it was going to be like some kind of like SpongeBob kids ride. Yeah. i see where Yeah. Yeah. All right. And your final one, is it the black anaconda? Jesus. Fuck. right is The fuck.
01:36:34
Speaker
Kraken racers or OSHA's revenge. OSHA's revenge. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, it's clearly that one. It's OSHA's Revenge. Correct, but I can't believe that there's a ride called the Black Anaconda. My Anaconda don't want none.
01:36:52
Speaker
Unless you've got your buns, huh? Black Sun? don't know. like That is very strange. Andrew, what a game. What a game. You know, i i aim to please. so Well, you you gave us all ah as something to really be tickled by right there. do you know what i mean?
01:37:09
Speaker
ah My anaconda feels tickled. What can I say? Cool. um Folks, listen, thank you for being with us for episode 166. Listen, we are a proud independent podcast. We do this for fun. We do it for you. We do it for um we do it for the world. That's what we do it for. We do it to make this world a little little bit better in the face of a lot of bad shit out there. You know what i mean? So listen, you can be a part of supporting our little podcast. Guess what? One thing you didn't hear in this past, I don't know, the hour and a half, two hours, whatever, is a fucking ad. Did you? you didn't hear one of them, you slut.
01:37:44
Speaker
You didn't hear any of that. Not even you guys in Kansas City. Exactly. Thank you. Which, honestly, Andrew, if we're being real, we should be putting more ads on for the Kansas City people. Yeah, that they deserve they might get only ads from now on. Anyways, um only ah you've heard of only fans. How about only ads?
01:38:04
Speaker
Anyways, um listen, here's how you can support us. ah You can support us by going to www.frygay13.com slash support. And once you're there, you'll be able to become a patron on Patreon or even buy merch from our store, which I hope is even still running. So listen, folks, it's easy to do. Become a patron for as little as $1 a month. And in fact, it's the only level that we ah we we tell you to to to actually do. There are other ones, but you don't need to. Just do $1 a month. It's $12 a year. It's super easy. If you've enjoyed and had fun and cackled with us along the way, that great. Come come join um All it does truly is make us break even every year. We don't make any money off this podcast, as you might guess. um So it's helpful because we have to rent movies. We have to you know but do subscriptions. We have to use software. We have to buy it buy equipment, things like that. So we would really appreciate it if you would consider becoming a patron.
01:39:02
Speaker
And speaking of what water parks are terrifying, I'm not even i'm not even making this up. Our newest patron. goes by the acronym of Pool Boy Q. That's pretty insane. And that is pretty weird that is he joined at this point right when we were going to do Water Parks Are Terrifying. Is that not the strangest thing?
01:39:23
Speaker
Do we know anything about Pool Boy Q? Do we know anything about you? know You know, fine person. Pool Boy, i a messaged you on Patreon. I said, thank you so much. And I asked where you're from and you have not gotten back to me yet, but I hope to learn more about you.
01:39:37
Speaker
Pool Boy, i hope that you will tell us your lore. a Good person. I don't know what your pronouns are. So ah looking forward to hearing more about how you became Pool Boy Q. Boy spelled B-O-I, which is very interesting. So Pool Boy thank you for being a patron on Patreon. And listen. you're one of the good ones. Yeah, you are one of the good ones. you are clearly not from Kansas City, by the way, which is... Or Orlando. Or Orlando. No, Orlando he might be from because that's the best place. Don't forget. Where all potential lies in Orlando. Exactly. Thank you. um Listen, everybody, I hope that... Look, it's only July still. You got some summer left in you. You know what i mean? The summer wine is not gone, as they say. So I want you to keep drinking that wine.
01:40:21
Speaker
I want you keep getting in those pools. I want you to keep going to those beaches. And I want you... to really think about how you can get wet in all the right ways, in all the right places, so that you too can get slayed.