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11. From Self-Doubt to Self-Belief: a Simple Tool to Change Your Thoughts
43 Plays2 years ago
Welcome to another juicy episode of "It's Happening For Me" podcast! In this week's episode we take a deep dive into the intricate world of limiting beliefs and their profound impact on personal growth and transformation.
Join us as we explore the hidden barriers that hinder our progress and how confronting these beliefs head-on is essential for our development.
In this episode, we delve into:
- Understanding the concept of limiting beliefs and their significance in our lives.
- The ways in which these beliefs can prevent us from reaching our full potential.
- Practical strategies for identifying and overcoming these barriers to success.
But that's not all. We also explore the challenging terrain of navigating our own and others' emotions. Gain insights into the discomfort we often feel when addressing these emotional challenges and the role it plays in our personal growth.
Additionally, we discuss:
- Overcoming the fear of addressing emotional discomfort.
- The significance of honesty and guidance in personal growth.
- The transformative potential of human design and gene keys in uncovering and shifting these beliefs.
Discover how meditation, clear thinking, and self-reflection can help us acknowledge and challenge these limiting beliefs effectively.
In this episode, you'll learn about:
- How limiting beliefs can affect our ability to achieve our desires.
- The impact of open centers in our human design chart.
- Core wounds that may be holding us back from embracing our true purpose.
Join me as I share personal stories and practical tips for breaking free from the constraints of limiting beliefs, effectively communicating our needs and expectations, and creating a supportive environment for our growth.
Ready for a thought-provoking journey into the realm of personal transformation? Grab your headphones, get comfortable, and join us for another transformative episode.
Byron Katie's 4 Questions and the Turn Around, "The Work Resources": www.thework.com/resources
Connect on Instagram: www.instagram.com/iamellilsamae
Work together/Book a Human Design or Gene Keys Reading: https://calendly.com/byellisamccoy
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:01
Speaker
Hello, my friend. Welcome to the It's Happening For Me podcast. If you're obsessed with all things spirituality, personal growth and development, and living as your highest self, you are in the right place.
Alyssa's Personal Growth Journey
00:00:14
Speaker
I am your host, Alyssa, and I spent the majority of my teenage years and young 20s living totally out of climate. As I started to question my patterns and behaviors and actually got to know myself at the soul level, I realized that everything was happening for me.
00:00:30
Speaker
Now, as a spiritual life coach and human design guide, I am here to share my voice, personal stories, human design wisdom, and learn from incredible individuals living their purpose. Join me each week as we walk the spiral path of purpose together. I cannot wait to dive in.
Life Updates and Routine
00:00:53
Speaker
Hello, what is up my friend? I'm so excited for you to be here today. I feel like I can talk to you in forever, even though it only has been one week, but I usually record these on Sundays and last week I recorded it on Saturday. And so I feel like there's been so many live updates since I last talked to you.
00:01:12
Speaker
Since the last episode, I have done two more Jean Keys readings. So last Sunday, I did a beautiful Genius Sequence reading. And then on Friday, this Friday, I did a Pearl Sequence reading with a client who we already did her Genius Sequence. So this was really cool. This was the second reading.
00:01:33
Speaker
And we dove all into prosperity and how she can be prosperous in her business, sharing her gifts with the world and what is the spiritual path that she's here to really take and what shadows and gifts is she here to unlock.
Gene Keys Readings and Insights
00:01:48
Speaker
And so that was really, really fun.
00:01:50
Speaker
It's always really fun too to do the second and the third one because like we've already connected and we've already looked at your, you know, your hologenic profile once. And so it's like really fun just to go deeper into it. So I always love when I have repeat clients, it's really, really fun. And then also we can like, we can see more insights that have came up since the last one. So it's fun just to like reconnect and see what rabbit holes and insights, you know, they've gone down since the last time.
00:02:20
Speaker
So that was awesome. And this week was pretty, it went by pretty fast. I was very busy at work. And so I pretty much just focused on my corporate job all week. And I was able actually to have a lot of time after work to go on my walks. We went to the lake often to get more steps in, George and I and Peanut. And then
00:02:44
Speaker
almost every day I did go on my walk at work as well for either my morning walk or my lunchtime break. So I have been getting more steps in, which feels really good. And this weekend was fun. So on Saturday, me and my mom went to the Ocean Beach Dog Beach. So normally we go to Fiesta Island in Mission Beach, but
00:03:03
Speaker
I think there was like weird it might have been like closed down or like there was just like weird waves because I don't know something some advisory about like the waves being weird and then plus we just really like going to the OB one whenever one of her friends that usually walks with us can't go so we went to the OB dog beach and that was really fun just to play in the waves and like see all the surfers the waves were
00:03:25
Speaker
freaking huge and I saw so many cute little dogs and it's funny because usually Peanut doesn't like playing with small dogs like he just completely ignores them and he always goes for the bigger ones but there is this other little baby weenie dog it was like a long hair brown dachshund that he actually kind of like was interested in a little bit so that was fun.
00:03:46
Speaker
And then of course we had to get our rolled tacos from the best taco shop ever. And then we went on a, then I came home and then we went on a second walk with George to the lake. And then today, Oh, and then, Oh my God. So I did such a deep dive, like cleaning of my closet. So.
00:04:06
Speaker
I already had all my laundry basically done and I ordered some new fall clothes that I'm really excited to receive because I ordered them online. But I've been wanting to kind of change up my wardrobe and just get really excited about the clothes I'm wearing again and I love fall season. So I ordered some cute stuff and then I was like, okay, I need to make room in my closet because every time I go in there, I have so many clothes that are either really old
00:04:29
Speaker
They don't fit me anymore. Or there are those ones where it's like, Oh, I want to keep this because I might fit into it someday. Or someday this might be cute. Like, you know, like, do you have those like certain outfits or like pieces where like you've never worn them or maybe you have worn them. They just like don't fit anymore. And you're like, Oh, like one day I'll wear those. So I had a lot of those that I was like, I'm just going to get rid of these because the vibes when I like go through them is just like not a good feeling.
00:04:55
Speaker
So I got rid of those, so many clothes that I'm going to donate. I have like three huge bags full and some of them are really cute. So I'm actually excited to donate those for whoever gets to receive those.
00:05:07
Speaker
And I also completely organized George's side. I even got him to get rid of some of this stuff he doesn't like anymore either because he just has like a shitload of t-shirts, like a lot of t-shirts that he doesn't like anymore either. So got rid of those and then just like reorganized everything. So it feels so good in there, like so organized and spacious.
00:05:27
Speaker
And that took like the whole night. Like I think I didn't go to sleep till maybe like midnight or something yesterday, which is pretty late for me. Um, so yeah. And then today we went on another lake walk and then we took peanut to the Hillcrest farmer's market. Um, there's this Jamaican chicken that George really loves. So we did that. And then we also bought peanut a little
00:05:50
Speaker
black cowboy hat oh my god it's so cute it's black and it has these really cute silver like stars on it like on the rim not on the rim but kind of on it and he got so many compliments like all of the ladies were obsessed with him um he got called a gangster from a guy that was just loving his style and so it was just really cute
00:06:13
Speaker
And then we came home. I am recording this. And then I'm going to meet my mom in a bit to go grocery shopping. She's just going to come to the grocery store we go we go to over here by my house. And then we're going to go eat dinner. So yeah, that's a weekly update. But everything's been going really good. I've just been feeling
00:06:31
Speaker
like really excited in my business. Oh, and the other cool, coolest shit ever is I started a training that I'm going to be doing a six to nine month training with Maria Henning called the master key.
Changing Limiting Beliefs
00:06:42
Speaker
And so we're going to be diving into gene keys and it's going to be really fun. Cause it's like a small, I don't even want to say it's small, but like a group of like really like minded, cool people who are just super obsessed with gene keys. And we're going to be like studying it, deep diving into everything. Um, and just like expanding my knowledge. And so.
00:06:59
Speaker
That's something I'm really excited about. So, yay! I am someone who will always be a lifelong learner and I love doing self-study and formal studying type of situations just to have more experience. I have a lot of line ones in my
00:07:18
Speaker
human design, even though I am a 2-4. So the cool thing about profile is like all of us have a profile, right? Like I'm a 2-4. But we also have a number of the other lines as well in our design. And so I have a lot of line ones, which is like that foundational like learner, the person who just loves learning, loves getting all the information, like loves figuring things out. And so, of course, I would want to take a whole like GeneQ's master key.
00:07:46
Speaker
course or like I guess like Program that's like six to nine months long just like diving into everything so deep because I just love going deep on stuff So yay, but today I'm so excited because I want to talk about something that has helped me so much in my business and My corporate job in literally every part every part of my life even like my fitness journey and that is how to actually change the mind and
00:08:14
Speaker
And so I want to talk about first how we can actually bring awareness to what are the limiting beliefs that we have and then how do we actually change the mind. And sometimes it's very tricky and sneaky because we have unconscious beliefs that we're not even aware of. So if you're having trouble manifesting something and you think that you're doing all of the things and you just don't understand why it's not happening, it's probably because you have some unconscious beliefs that you're just not aware of.
00:08:44
Speaker
that are holding you back from really receiving whatever use you want to create because that is going to be stronger than our conscious awareness because our conscious awareness is a very small percentage of our awareness.
00:08:58
Speaker
And what I've discovered that is just so helpful that I like to use for myself and all of my clients is actually using our human design body graphs as well as our gene keys to literally illuminate what those like very deep limiting beliefs
00:09:14
Speaker
unconscious thought patterns are and it's going to be our not self themes in our human design so that we can just bring awareness to it and then that is how you can start to transmute it because if we're not aware of these these deep-seated thoughts that are holding us back then it's kind of like we're just wondering why we're doing everything but nothing's working to create what we actually want.
00:09:39
Speaker
Okay, so to begin with, we will first look at what to do if you already know your limiting belief. So for example, when I first wanted to launch this podcast, I had so many limiting beliefs of like, no one's going to want to listen to it. Um, people are going to judge me. I'm going to sound stupid. I don't know what I'm talking about. I don't have enough things to talk about. Um,
00:10:10
Speaker
My voice is cringy. You know, like there's so many different things that came up or like, yeah, those are like the main ones. So if you right now can think about something that you want to do and think about the main thing that's holding you back, just make a list of all of those things right now. So if I were to have a piece of paper, I would write down like, I'm going to sound stupid. Nobody wants to listen to me. What I have to say isn't valuable. There's already so many other people with podcasts.
00:10:40
Speaker
I'm going to be a failure. I won't be able to be consistent. There's no way I can keep this up on a weekly basis. So I would write all those down, right? Now this is how you are going to
00:10:53
Speaker
change that thought, okay? So it's a four-part question. And then we are going to turn it around, okay? And this is the work of Byron Katie. So if you've ever read her book, The Work by Byron Katie, this is something that she talks about and it's so helpful. Okay, so let's just use my example of, I'm going to sound stupid. If I start a podcast, I'm going to sound stupid.
00:11:23
Speaker
Now the first question to ask myself is, is it true? So I'm just gonna write this down with you guys so I can like do this in real time. So I'm going to sound stupid. Okay, so the first question to ask myself is, is it true? Is it true? Is there proof that I'm going to sound stupid? No, there's not proof. Like, yeah, maybe I'll mess up some words. Maybe I will say some things that I later
00:11:54
Speaker
regret or maybe I will change my viewpoint. Again, just knowing things about myself that I have an open head and open eyes. Now, like I'm not meant to have solid opinions and beliefs that will last forever. I'm meant to be very open minded and I can see many different sides to things. So it makes sense that I might have a view on something in this episode and then maybe even just a week from now, two weeks from now, a year from now, my view changes. But does that make me a bad person? No, that just means that my view changed. So anyways,
00:12:22
Speaker
Is there proof that I'm going to sound stupid? No, there's no proof. Can, okay, and then if I said yes, there is proof, then I would move on to question number two, which is, can you absolutely know that it's true? So say I answered yes, I'm going to sound stupid. Okay, well, can I absolutely know that that's true? Do I have actual proof that I'm going to sound stupid? No, okay, move on. Number three, how do you react? What happens when you believe that thought?
00:12:52
Speaker
So when I believe the thought that I'm going to sound stupid starting a podcast, it makes me feel scared. It puts a lot of fear into me. It makes me procrastinate. It makes me not want to start a podcast. I don't take any of the steps to start the podcast.
00:13:12
Speaker
go down a spiral and think like, what is even the point then? Because I really want to share my voice, but if I just sound stupid, then I'm just not going to do anything about it. So basically just go into a spiral and I just never take action and I never start the podcast. Now moving on to question number four, who or what would you be without the thought? So if I didn't have the thought of I'm going to sound stupid, then I would be
00:13:38
Speaker
a person who has a podcast. I would successfully show up every day, every week, whatever the schedule is that I want to follow, and I would put my stuff out there. I would believe in myself and I would be someone who's confident and I would be someone who values my opinions and I would be someone who is excited to share all of the knowledge that I have.
00:14:00
Speaker
someone who would show up as a leader and as a business owner. I would be someone who would show up as a coach and a human design guide and a Jean Keys guide. And I would be someone who is here to really show up and make impact on people.
00:14:16
Speaker
Awesome. Now we're going to turn the thought around. So if I said, I'm going to sound stupid if I start a podcast, if I turn, so this really works also like really well. If you're dealing with like interpersonal relationship stuff, but since I'm only talking about myself, this is kind of how I would turn it around. So if I said, I'm going to sound stupid starting a podcast, then I would turn it around too. Everyone that already has a podcast right now sounds stupid.
00:14:48
Speaker
And anyone, another way to turn it around would be like, the people who want to start a podcast, but they haven't yet is because they're stupid. I know that's not true. There's just a lot of fear holding people back. I know it's not true that
00:15:11
Speaker
everyone out there who has a podcast sounds stupid. I've never even heard a podcast where I thought that someone sounded stupid, so I know that's not true. It's like you visualize each of the turnarounds and think about, is that true or not? Because we tend to be the biggest critics on ourselves and we judge ourselves the most. It's very easy for me to believe the statement that I'm going to sound stupid when I start a podcast.
00:15:34
Speaker
But when I put that on someone else and say everyone else that I know that started a podcast sounds stupid, is that true? Absolutely not. They don't sound stupid. I've learned so much from people that have podcasts. Even if they don't get the words perfect all of the time, it makes me like them more and I feel more related to them. I feel really good with people who don't over-intellectualize everything. It's easier for me to now
00:15:58
Speaker
See that that is a lie. Okay, so again, I'm going to talk, I'm going to just repeat again what the four questions are to ask yourself and the turn around thought that way you can do this for yourself. So you already have your list of all of the limiting beliefs that you have right now about a certain situation. These are the four questions you're going to journal. One, is it true? Yes or no? If no, move on to question three. If yes, move on to question number two. Question number two, can you absolutely know that it's true? Yes or no?
00:16:28
Speaker
And you can pause this in between. Question number three, how do you react? What happens when you believe that thought? Question number four, who or what would you be without that thought? So you're going to journal on those for each of the limiting beliefs that you want to go through. And then once you journal through one of them, you're going to turn the thought around. So you're going to turn that thought around onto
00:16:57
Speaker
the other person or like the opposite situation. So anyways, those are just some examples of how you can do this yourself when you already know what the limiting belief is. And this really has helped me because it just makes you put it on paper and to see like, oh my God, is this
Business Success and Self-Discovery
00:17:13
Speaker
actually true? Or is my mind just making things up? Because our mind is going to make a lot of things up. Our thoughts are not true, which is why it's so important to like meditate and do all the things that we need to do to keep our thoughts very clear.
00:17:25
Speaker
Okay, so moving on, let's say that you are not really conscious of what your limiting beliefs are. Like, for example, this is a great example. When I graduated from Dharma Coaching Institute, this was kind of before I was focusing on human design, I really wanted to be a sole purpose coach.
00:17:43
Speaker
So I created a three month program and I put it out there. I talked about it a lot and I really wanted to help people find their purpose. But for some reason, no one would sign up. Absolutely no one. No one wanted to do a discovery call. No one was interested in it. No one like DM'd me or had any questions about it. It was like absolutely no one. And I was like, what is going on? Because
00:18:07
Speaker
I thought that's what I wanted to do, but I also had this internal feeling, this energetic block inside that I did feel, but I couldn't really put a name to it. When I actually started going through my jean keys and studying my jean keys very deeply, I was like, oh my God, I found one of my biggest shadows, which is in my culture sphere, which is in the pearl sequence. This isn't the jean keys. This is all about how we're here to really be financially prosperous through sharing our gifts with the world.
00:18:37
Speaker
And there are places in here where we have shadows, and these spheres, these jean keys are correlated to gates in our human design. So if you're familiar with your human design, there are certain gates and certain planetary placements that are going to be in your jean keys. So for example, life's work is the conscious sun.
00:19:00
Speaker
So whatever gate you have for your conscious sun and gene in human design is going to be your gene keys life's work. Gene key 54 for me. Okay, if that sounds a little confusing, don't worry about the details. It doesn't matter. But anyways, I found out through setting my gene keys that one of my biggest shadows is in human design, it's gate 39.
00:19:21
Speaker
And in Jean Keys, it's Gate 39. And the shadow of it is provocation. And so what the heck does this mean? Well, in the shadow aspect of it, it's a feeling of feeling trapped. It's a feeling of feeling like a victim of being trapped, essentially.
00:19:39
Speaker
And I was like, Oh my God, this makes so much sense. And this is also in the culture sphere, which is all about how we're here to attract our people or block our abundance. And when I really thought about it, I was like, Oh my God, I actually am energetically blocking anyone from using my calendar link and signing up with me because I felt like if they signed up for this three month program,
00:20:00
Speaker
that I would be stuck. I would be trapped in my business. I wouldn't have time to do the things that I want to do. I'm still working a corporate job and I just felt like I wouldn't be able to take on that much responsibility. And I also didn't like the fact that
00:20:15
Speaker
people could just book in whenever they wanted and that I somehow might like miss the email and like miss that they signed up and like, I wouldn't be prepared enough, which is one of my other core wounds. My actual core wound overall is inadequacy. So like not knowing enough, not being prepared enough, like not being good enough. And so I was like, Oh my God, that is subconsciously being triggered. Both of those together.
00:20:40
Speaker
And I am energetically blocking anyone from working with me because it was just not in alignment. My soul actually didn't want to do that. I actually didn't want to have a three month program where I walked someone through their purpose. And now looking at everything that I'm creating now and really focusing on human design and the gene keys and having all of this wisdom and all of this incredible knowledge that I cannot freaking wait to share with people.
00:21:05
Speaker
I'm actually creating a discovery or sole purpose course, which is going to include all of this new information that I know. And so it just wasn't in alignment and I was blocking it in my shadow aspects. And the way that I am able to move through that feeling of feeling trapped
00:21:22
Speaker
is to lean into the gift of dynamism. I always don't know how to pronounce it, but it's dynamism. And so it's really like being like so excited for life, like just so freaking excited, feeling like lit, so good. And that's how I feel about the Jean Keys and human design. It's like, oh my God, like I could talk about it forever. I'm so excited. And just doing one little minor, this is a practical tip. So I created on my calendar link that people cannot book
00:21:51
Speaker
Like say you go to book, there's a three day grace period where you can't book until three days out. So basically blocks off my calendar from like now until three days later, so that no matter what, if someone was to book right now, I would have three days to prepare.
00:22:05
Speaker
And so just that gives me so much freedom and removes any feelings of being trapped because the thing with human design and jinkies is like it takes preparation. You know, like this is your personal soul blueprints. Everyone is so different. And so I have to actually create
00:22:22
Speaker
e-book that you get because i include visuals i include an e-book that has all this information in it and i have to make that i have to create it and it takes time and so.
Structure, Freedom, and Coaching
00:22:33
Speaker
I think i was like energetically blocking anyone booking because i was like oh my god if you book for tomorrow.
00:22:39
Speaker
What if I have so much going on at work with my corporate job and I don't have time to do this? I will feel very unprepared and inadequate for our session. It was unconscious. That unconscious feeling was so strong that it was blocking anyone from being able to energetically book in with me. It was just completely blocking it.
00:22:58
Speaker
with now doing that, knowing that about myself, having that awareness and be like, Oh my God, like, Hey, I just feel trapped because I feel like I'm not going to have enough time to prepare. What do I need to do? Create a booking system to where it gives me at least three days, no matter what, to prepare for a session. And then when I see that booking come through, I get so freaking excited and I'm in the gift frequency of like this dynamism, this like,
00:23:20
Speaker
obsession with life. And I'm so excited to share all of the things that I have to share with these, you know, to share with my clients. And it just makes me really excited. So now anytime I see the booking link come through, I'm like, yay, it's like a huge celebration. I can't wait to connect. I have time to pull up their chart. I start getting into their energy and creating the ebook that's going to assist us in the reading. Because I'm a very like structured, like Stellium and Capricorn, Virgo Rising, Taurus Moon. So like,
00:23:48
Speaker
It's very earthy, very tangible. I want to guide you through a structured system that I have to teach you what I want to teach you. It is also very intuitive, but it's very structured at the same time, and that masculine structure gives me freedom to flow in my feminine and riff off of whatever I want to riff off of.
00:24:08
Speaker
But like having that structure, having those, the ebook, it like gives me a template that we're following along with. Because again, with the open head and open Ashna, I don't hold on to details and like I don't retain information. So it's not like I'm going to be able to retain, let's say the pearl sequence, there's four spheres we're going to be going over. How the fuck am I going to remember all of that information when I get in front of you? Like there's just no way. It's so detailed. It's so nuanced.
00:24:36
Speaker
And so for me, having a ebook that we're going over together, like I'm showing you slides, we're doing this together, it gives me that safety so that I can be in my feminine and just riff off of things.
00:24:50
Speaker
This is why I love really understanding our shadows in our human design and our gene keys, because we can illuminate them and be like, oh my god, I'm someone who needs notes. I'm someone who needs to glance and have a structure to follow, because otherwise I'm going to forget what the heck I'm saying. And there's nothing wrong with that. And I think sometimes people think like, oh, I don't know enough if I can't just retain all of this information. Well, News Flash, you're never going to retain all of the information if you have an open Ashna, because you're just not meant to.
00:25:19
Speaker
And so it's like, oh, work with what we have and learn how to create systems and structures to work with just how you operate at the design level. And it's going to set you up for so much success so that you can be operating in those freaking gift frequencies. I think, too, everything really happens for a reason. Like, I think my soul just wasn't ready yet to do the sole purpose coaching because I still had so many things that I wanted to learn. And like now that I'm realizing that I'm putting it into a course where it's like,
00:25:49
Speaker
It's going to be so much awesome, like prerecorded content that people can just do at the self pace. Like that's how I love to learn. You know, I loved learning from a self pace, self study. I'm somebody who loves studying and I think, okay, this, sorry, this is also another tangent to that, that I want to talk about, but it has to do with limiting beliefs.
00:26:10
Speaker
So I was working with a business coach for a year. The contract's almost up and she was incredible. She is an awesome business coach. She's an awesome person, very successful business, but she is teaching everything exactly how it worked for her. She's in the personal growth and development space, but she's not in the spirituality space and she doesn't talk about human design or follow her design.
00:26:38
Speaker
what I notice that's missing in this, in her teachings and her program is the whole like individualization of everything because just because something works for her, it doesn't mean that it's going to work for everyone else. And it's actually really held me back. So one of the things that she really believes and teaches is that people, and it's so sad to say this because it's just not true at all, is that people, um, like people aren't going to do the work. People want,
00:27:07
Speaker
to, I think this is somewhat true, but also a lot not true because I'm the type of person that I love to study. I'm going to put a lot of time and effort into the courses and programs that I sign up for.
00:27:17
Speaker
like that actually cost me money. I have invested, I have invested money into it. I have skin in the game. I am all in. I'm a great student. I'm going to do the things required of me. Of course, there's things I sign up for that were like free or that I just didn't really like that I didn't do or I didn't complete, but that's because it just wasn't a sole aligned purchase. But when you're actually buying something that you really freaking want, that's actually going to get you to the next level. For me, I go all in and I take advantage of the program.
00:27:45
Speaker
Her teaching is that no one's going to actually do the work and people aren't going to really stick through it. And so don't try to give them too much information or try to make it as simple as possible.
00:27:58
Speaker
Which yeah, I also agree with, but it made me think that no one's going to want to learn from me. No one's going to want me to give them like all of the information. No one's actually going to care. And so that really helped me back from creating a longer term program or even a course because I was like, well, she said no one's going to do it. So why would I waste my time creating this thing? But then.
00:28:21
Speaker
I realized that that is a lie because if I love learning and love taking advantage of this information and doing the things, there's going to be other people like that too and I'm going to attract those people. You know what I mean? I'm going to attract the people who are already on the personal growth and development journey. They're already had their spiritual awakening probably. They're probably already
00:28:45
Speaker
maybe know what their purpose is and they just need a little more assistance
Client Relationships and Coaching Tools
00:28:48
Speaker
and help. Maybe they're sitting on certifications, coaching certifications, they're healers, and they just want to understand themselves on a deeper level. Of course, they're going to want this information and this wisdom that I have that is going to help them break through all of their limiting beliefs, know themselves on such a deep energetic level, understand how their energy level works, understand how to create programs and offerings that work for them,
00:29:13
Speaker
move through anything holding them back so they just have confidence to live their purpose. Who wouldn't want that? Those are my people. I think I'm here to help are people who are here to aspire because that is my life's work. I'm here to help people aspire to all of their dreams and freaking goals.
00:29:32
Speaker
We can actually even have our own limiting beliefs perpetuated if we're learning from the wrong mentors and the wrong coaches. And again, she never did that on purpose. She was coming from a very loving place and she was sharing her experience and so it's up to us to take it with a grain of salt.
00:29:48
Speaker
And then when I started taking courses and learning from Maria Henning, she's the complete opposite. She's like, all of my clients, because I'm one of our clients, are smart as hell. They're capable adults. They know how to learn. They're excited to learn. They're going to show up for themselves. They're going to do all of the studying. They're smart as hell. They can figure things out. You can have more than one offering and they know how to read. They know how to follow the link in your bio. They're not stupid.
00:30:13
Speaker
And so I was like, oh my God, you're so right because that's me. I'm not stupid. I can follow a link in a bio. So why would I think that clients are stupid and they don't know how to figure things out? It's like, you're going to attract that if that's what you really believe about people. And I don't believe that. Like I am attracting people who are smart, capable adults that just want to learn more about themselves.
00:30:35
Speaker
So I just thought that was like really awesome and also a cool thing for you to think about too like it's like how do you talk to your people like do you talk to them that like
00:30:44
Speaker
they're capable and they're intelligent and they're smart and they know how to figure things out. And you just are here to help them figure out something that you know a little bit more than them about. Or are you treating them like they're children and like they're stupid and incapable and they don't know how to figure things out because that's a low vibrational frequency and nobody's going to be really attracted to that unless they're like really in their victim. And at that point, it's like, is that even conscious marketing? Cause that's like appealing to someone's like victim and like,
00:31:14
Speaker
appealing to their fears and like making them believe that they need what you have or they're just going to suffer and they're going to like continue to just like their life is going to go to shit. It's like that's really appealing to people when they're at their lowest. And so I really love the people who market to people who want people to rise to their highest expression.
00:31:41
Speaker
Yay, Wayney. Good job, Wayney. Yeah, good job. The firefighters were going by, and so Peanut likes to howl at those. It's very cute. We used to think he didn't have a voice when we first got him because he didn't bark or make any sounds for the first three to four months. And we're like, oh my god, he might be deaf or mute. But then we heard a siren go by, and he started howling at it. And we're like, oh my god, he has a voice. He was just afraid to use it.
00:32:09
Speaker
So we always work with his throat chakra to activate it, and he just loves howling with those sirens. Okay, but anyways, so that was a little tangent.
00:32:21
Speaker
We talked about if you do know what your limiting beliefs are, do the four question method, do the turnaround, that's gonna help you actually look at your thought and be like, okay, this is fake, this is not true. Because sometimes we can so deeply believe that it's true. I really thought that I sounded stupid for a long time. I really thought that people didn't like me or they didn't care what I have to say. I really believed that. Until I did that, I did little things like the four questions and the turnaround and I was like,
00:32:49
Speaker
wait, that's not true because I don't judge people like that. And so if I'm judging myself like that, I'm the only one that's judging myself like that. You know what I mean? And then, okay, cool. So then we're talking about how in your, in your human design engine case, you will have places that help you see what your living team beliefs are and could be. Okay. And so
00:33:15
Speaker
Just looking at my chart, a really good place to look at for human design is your open centers. So your open centers are where you're going to be operating from the not self theme of those most often. And those are where we are prone to the most conditioning. We are prone to the most limiting beliefs and fear because we don't produce our own continuous energy here. We are taking in and amplifying the energy of others. And so these are where we can be the most conditioned. And so you can easily just look at your open centers or undefined centers, which they'll be white.
00:33:44
Speaker
And it can tell you a lot about what is holding you back. So if I'm looking at myself and we're talking about me wanting to step into my purpose of being a spiritual life coach slash
00:33:57
Speaker
Human Design Engine Keys Guide and Reader, right? So what are some things that came up for me? I have an open head, open, I'm sorry, undefined head, undefined ajna, undefined throat, undefined heart, undefined solar plexus, and undefined root. So some of my limiting blues were number one from the head. I don't know enough. And from the ajna as well. I don't know enough. And
00:34:26
Speaker
I would also question, it's almost also questioning how am I going to answer everyone's questions? Like, oh, what if someone asks me a question that I don't know how to answer for human design and gene keys? Then I'm going to feel inadequate, which is one of my court wounds. It is my court wound. Then I'm going to feel like I don't know enough. And so that limiting belief can really hold people back when they're really stepping into what they want to do. Something that really helps me is to know that
00:34:56
Speaker
I'm not going to know everything. I'm really not. I'm not going to be the number one person with human design and gene keys. I'm not going to be able to answer everyone's questions, but what I can do is get them the answer. This also really helped me. This shows up everywhere in my life. Inadequacy shows up everywhere in my life. In my corporate job, I was asked to lead a training. I was asked to lead a training about
00:35:22
Speaker
I really wanted to do more sales. I feel very confident in sales and customer service and how to treat our guests and clients, but I actually got asked to do a training that was called nuts and bolts. It was the nuts and bolts of oil changes and the preventative maintenance services that we do on cars.
00:35:39
Speaker
And I was like, Oh my God, like that was always my core, like thing that I frickin hated the most because I'm not a car person. Like I don't have a car background. I didn't grow up loving cars. My dad never worked on cars with me. Whereas like so many people that at my work, you know, have that background.
00:35:57
Speaker
not everyone, but a lot of people. And so being in a leadership role, I always felt this like inadequacy that I didn't know enough about cars. And so I was asked to put on this nuts and bolts class. So I was like studying the material like crazy because I'm telling them how these, like how a coolant, how a radiator operates. Like what the hell? I'm teaching a class on how a radiator operates. I'm teaching a class on how, what's the difference between front wheel and rear wheel drive?
00:36:25
Speaker
and what makes the car go into motion. I'm teaching them about why do people need to do a power steering service? What does the power steering fluid do to a car? What is the brick system like? It's like all of these things that I have absolutely no idea what the fuck I'm talking about. I had to teach a class on. I was saying the manual like crazy, and then my boss could see that I was very stressed out because I really like to be someone who has all the answers. He was just like,
00:36:51
Speaker
I want you to do this right when you go up there and you introduce yourself, you know, you tell them about your experience and you're getting the class started. I want you to point to the whiteboard and say, Hey guys, there are going to be a lot of questions I'm sure that you have today. And I want you to know that if I'm going to try my best to answer them, if there's something that I don't know, we're going to write the question here. We're going to park it.
00:37:13
Speaker
And we'll come back to it after lunch once I get the answer for you." And he's like, this is going to give you a lot of freedom to know that you don't need to know everything. You don't need to have all the answers, but you're going to find it for them. And so it doesn't take away from your credibility. It doesn't take away from your leadership. It actually shows that you're in integrity. You're honest. It's relatable. You don't know everything. And you're also going to figure it out for them, okay? Because no one likes a know-it-all anyways. I was like, oh my gosh, okay.
00:37:42
Speaker
So starting every training or every masterclass that I teach, that is something that I'll always take with me and say like, hey, there might be questions that come up during this masterclass or during this training that I don't know. Just know that I will make a list and I will do my best to answer them and whatever we don't get to, I will come back with an answer for you. And again, this is just already setting yourself up for success. It's letting people know that you don't know everything and so you'll figure it out.
00:38:11
Speaker
Another thing that I really loved as having an open head in Ojna is allowing myself as a coach to have notes in front of me. Say if I'm doing a reading, I'm not just going to raw dog this reading and go into it with no preparation and just look at their chart for the first time in front of them. Some people might be at a skill level or just be designed to be able to do that, which is so cool. That's awesome.
00:38:38
Speaker
For me, that's not the type of person that I am, and I'm never going to pretend to be like that. There is no benefit to that. Neither one of those types are better than the other. It's just finding what works for you.
00:38:51
Speaker
I'm going to always have either slides, I will have notes, I'll have something that I'm referring back to. And it's just a simple thing as even just seeing a body graph in front of me, like right now, I have mine in front of me so that I can reference each open or undefined center I have to talk about instead of just trying to pull it out of my booty or my memory, which is not going to be there, especially with the design I have. So allowing yourself to take notes, allowing yourself to have slides, allowing yourself to refer back to things.
00:39:20
Speaker
have graphs, have things around you.
00:39:23
Speaker
Even in my little office space, I would have, or even in my corporate office at work, I'll have numbers written down. I'll have things that I constantly am referring to just to be off the top of my head, be able to say it. It doesn't sound scripted. It doesn't sound robotic. It gives me that little, okay, it recalls my memory.
Challenges and Self-Worth
00:39:42
Speaker
If you struggle with that, no. You don't need to just know this. You don't need to know everything to be a healer or coach. You don't need to have everything figured out. You can absolutely refer back to your notes. It does not make you
00:39:53
Speaker
less professional, it doesn't make you look like you don't know what you're talking about. It's actually being very prepared and setting yourself up for success for your clients. Okay? Okay. Next, undefined throat. So I have an undefined throat, which means I don't have a consistent way of speaking. And so sometimes my words do get jumbled. Sometimes I have little weird speech things where maybe I'll say the same thing twice. My words don't always come out properly.
00:40:21
Speaker
But, and that did hold me back from a long time of wanting to start a podcast because I actually even had a reading with somebody once, a human design reading, who told me that I shouldn't start a podcast because I have an undefined throat, which is complete BS. There's nothing, if anyone ever tells you that you can't do something because of your chart, that is complete BS and you should immediately stop listening to that person.
00:40:45
Speaker
Like don't take advice from them. Don't look up to them as a mentor because there's nothing that your chart should be holding you back from. If anything, this is supposed to be like,
00:40:55
Speaker
giving you confidence to like open your horizons and to like see really cool things about yourself just to understand things about yourself. But it should never be like limiting. Like that's just complete bullshit. You can do whatever the hell you want. So don't ever let somebody tell you that. But anyways, they told me that it kind of scarred me for like two years. And then when I was in my, um, HD school with Katie Irvine, my mentor, I was telling her that and she was like, Oh my God, Alyssa, that is not true. Like undefined throat centers can be beautiful podcast hosts. Like that is not fucking true. And so,
00:41:25
Speaker
if you have anything like that, that's been holding you back, just know that it's absolutely false. Because there's also really a gift to having an undefined throat center, you know, like I can be a chameleon, I can kind of change how I'm sounding, depending on who I'm talking to. And there's a lot of wisdom in that. So don't ever let something that you deem as
00:41:46
Speaker
negative hold you back because there's actually no negative in our designs. It's all freaking incredible. Okay, now going back to my design. So I have an open heart center slash will center undefined. Sorry. And so this is a lot about worthiness. A lot of worthiness stuff comes up for me about being a coach and a guide, you know, like, um,
00:42:12
Speaker
Am I worthy of doing this? Who would want to listen to me? Who would believe in me? What do I have to offer? Just a lot of not being enough, not being able to fulfill this role. And so I can instantly just know that those are lies, especially knowing that that comes from my design is something I'm prone to. And I can do what I need to do to work through those. And there might be a lot of unconscious stuff there as well. I have an undefined emotional solar plexus.
00:42:38
Speaker
And so this is something that really, really came up to me. So with an undefined emotional solar plexus, there can be a tendency to avoid the truth and confrontation. Because growing up for me, especially being so open here and like empathic, I always was kind of like a harmonizer in my family at daycare. Like I always wanted people to feel good. And it was very uncomfortable for me to feel other people's emotions, especially like anger,
00:43:06
Speaker
or upset, frustration, sadness or disappointment. Oh my God, especially disappointment with my dad. I do not like feeling people's disappointment in myself or whatever I'm amplifying. There's a tendency to sugarcoat things to not tell the truth because you don't want to feel uncomfortable when the other person feels certain things.
00:43:29
Speaker
And so how that shows up for me, it would be like, well, I was scared to be honest with my clients because I can see something that they're missing. But it's almost like I was afraid to bring it up because I didn't want to upset them or I didn't want them to react adversely to it. But it's like I was holding myself back from being a good coach and being a good guide because I could absolutely see something that could impact them and help them.
00:43:56
Speaker
but I was afraid to say it. And also this happened to me growing up in friendships and to bosses, things that I would like, Hey, like I've been noticing this, but I didn't want to upset anyone, create conflict. So what's really helped me is to know that we are not responsible for other people's emotions. We're only responsible for how we react to other people. So it is my duty as a coach and as a guide
00:44:20
Speaker
you know, especially when someone is paying for my services to be honest and to tell them the hard things and to open up a space where it's like, Hey, you know, like they signed up for this. They want answers. They want help. They want guidance. There's something that they're not seeing. They have blind spots. And it's my duty as professional to show them these things, even when it's uncomfortable. And what I've noticed is that
00:44:45
Speaker
People do appreciate it like it might be uncomfortable in the moment for them to receive it But they really appreciate it and that's that's what gives people aha moments. It's like seeing things that they didn't see so if you if you have an undefined emotional solar plexus and you Experience this like with clients and it's been holding you back from putting your offers out there or from like having clients because you're afraid of that Uncomfortableness just know that they're coming to you for it. You know, it's it's a safe space as long as your delivery is professional and like there can there
00:45:16
Speaker
they're consenting to receiving this information, this wisdom that you have for them, then it is your duty to share it. And obviously in a very tactful, polite, loving way, truthful, loving way. And I've also seen this show up for me when I was working in my corporate job, but I was at a manager level. There was a lot of times when I first started out that I really, really, really would turn a blind eye when I would see someone doing something they shouldn't be doing. Like, for example, wearing their PPE. I think there was a time where it was like,
00:45:46
Speaker
I just got promoted to a new service center. And when I went in, it was like all hell and chaos because no one was following the rules. No one was wearing the gloves and the hard hats. And the very first day, I was like, Oh my God, I want these people to like me. I'm coming into this new service center. They already have established relationships. I'm the new manager. I don't want to be that
00:46:12
Speaker
dictatorial like bitch like manager that everyone hates and like turns everyone against me. And so for the first like week, I didn't say anything. And that is what completely, I think, made my life a living hell for the first like three months when I was trying to get that story back into order, because I should have just addressed it right when I saw it, you know, I should have because at the same time, they're also seeing
00:46:36
Speaker
how far they could push me as a boss and like, what am I going to notice? What am I going to correct? And so I think I had a harder time for the next three months fixing everything. And because that first week I wasn't just honest and upfront with like, Hey, like this is what I'm noticing. I need you to put this on. And just coming from also like, it doesn't have to be
00:46:58
Speaker
condescending. It doesn't have to be an argument. It doesn't have to be overly direct. It can just be in a nice way. And so then when I went on to take over to new locations,
00:47:09
Speaker
I immediately, when I went in there, because I learned from my past mistakes, immediately just started noting when I saw things that were off like, Oh, hey, I'm put on your glasses. Oh, hey, where's the bump cap, you know, in a nice friendly way. But knowing that that is my standards, and it honestly built so much more respect for me from the get go. Because yeah, no one likes to be the bad guy. But if they know what's expected from them, they also like to know what the rules are. And like they will uphold it when you're just honest and upfront with them. And so
00:47:39
Speaker
Even though I was trying to avoid this reaction of them being like, oh my god, she's so annoying, or here she goes again, or being mad at me, it's like as a job, a job as a manager is like we're not supposed to necessarily be liked. We're supposed to uphold the rules and the expectations of the company.
00:47:57
Speaker
And so that was something I struggled with for a long time because no one taught me that. And if I would have known my design, I would have known that I was prone to that because I didn't understand why I was having such a hard time that first week telling people. I really didn't. I felt horrible inside. I felt like I know that I need to tell them, but I'm so afraid to tell them. And it was an internal
00:48:18
Speaker
conflict that I was fighting myself every day. And it was making me so pissed off and frustrated my non-self with frustration because I was like, why can't they just fucking follow the rules? But then it was like, well, I'm not upholding the rules. Where are my boundaries? Why am I not telling them what to do? So I really struggled so hard being a manager. It was extremely hard for me.
00:48:41
Speaker
But, and I think if I would have known my design and known like where my not self themes are and where I kind of like shy away from things, it would have helped me so much, like so much. This information is so incredible for, for everyone
Balancing Corporate and Spiritual Life
00:48:54
Speaker
in their jobs. Like it's just so helpful. And then last but not least, I have an undefined root center.
00:49:00
Speaker
And so this can show up as a lot of stress, a lot of pressure to hurry up. You know, I actually just have recently been healing my root center probably for the past month. I've really been working on tapping and really tapping on healing my imbalances in my roots because I have had this. I have one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. I think I've talked about this before, but I have seven out of nine.
00:49:29
Speaker
gates activated in my root center. And the root center is all about adrenaline, stress, pressure. It's a pressure center. And it's a pressure center. These are a lot of Capricorn energy gates. And it's to want to aspire, to succeed, to create, to get things done, to be moving forward, to attain reaching goals. It's a very driven type of energy.
00:49:52
Speaker
And I've wanted my business to take off so bad and I wanted to just like, know like what is my purpose and like, how am I here to help people and like I've been wanting the success like super fast. I've been in a real hurry to just be successful and to have everything take off so fast that I've had to really come to terms with like hey,
00:50:12
Speaker
That's not how life works. My design works and all of us work in rhythm with nature, with seasons, there's cycles, there's seasons of things. We're not meant to just instantly be successful. It takes time. It takes a lot of time to start a business. It takes a lot of time to run a business. And so I have been feeling so good with where my
00:50:35
Speaker
my life is at right now. For so long, I was like, I just want to leave corporate and be full-time in my business. But then I'm like, why? Why do I think that that makes me more legitimate? Why do I think that that makes me look more look, quote unquote, look to the outsiders like I'm living my purpose? When my job is doing a lot for me and my corporate job is keeping me safe, it's paying my bills while I build this dream
00:51:04
Speaker
you know, business on the side. I have so much fun. I've been doing like, I've been doing a reading every single week, every single weekend, which is incredible. And I'm like, that is a perfect, that is a perfect pace for me. I couldn't make this up. Like people are booking in so that I'm having a reading every single week and it feels so good. And I think my nervous system is like getting acclimated to it and it feels so good. And it's like,
00:51:30
Speaker
Yeah, I can move on to having two readings a week, three, and just keep going up from there. But I'm just loving it, like how it's going at this pace. And so if you are feeling like you're in a rush or like you just want things to happen now, just know that everything is happening as we're able to receive them. It's all in good timing. You know, we're opening ourselves up to receive things just as they should. Everything is working out. Best case scenario, best timing ever. So I've really been healing that. So again,
00:52:00
Speaker
You can look to see where your unconscious beliefs are holding you back from looking at your undefined and open centers in your human design. You can look at all of your shadows and your jean keys. Those are going to give you great freaking insights to like what is holding you back to look at exactly where your shadow is and then how you can move into that gift frequency. And the shadows aren't a bad thing. Like we're never meant to completely
00:52:23
Speaker
leave the shadow forever and heal this forever and be in the gift frequency in the city states and be enlightened like no like this is a spiral this is a cycle it's a circle we're going to continue every time we up level we're going to see the shadow again every time something new scares us we're going to see the shadow and then we're going to heal it and we're going to we're going to get over that and then we're going to go to the next height and the next depth and so
00:52:45
Speaker
But the problem is when we don't know what is holding us back and we feel like we're doing everything but something isn't working, it's because there is an unconscious limiting belief that is holding us back and we need to identify what the heck it is. So sometimes you can spend like
00:53:00
Speaker
a shitload of time in coaching, therapy, trying to figure out what is holding me back and we just can't come up with it because it's so hidden. Which is why I would say again, turn to your human design and gene keys, it will immediately illuminate it. It will feel like a full body resonance of like, Oh my God, that's exactly what's holding me back. And then there's a clear path to move through it. Okay.
00:53:22
Speaker
I also really suggest tapping. When I put out my sole purpose course, which again is going to be like a beautiful course to walk you through exactly discovering your purpose, getting started, taking action steps, all about your human design, all about your jinkies. It's going to be so uniquely designed for you to move through any imposter syndrome, any limiting beliefs, to rewire your mind, reprogram your limiting beliefs, and really step out and shine your light with confidence.
00:53:51
Speaker
I'm going to be doing, first of all, a lot of practices in there for rewiring the brain. And we're also going to be healing the nervous system. And we're also going to be healing the nervous system. So I highly recommend EF2 tapping. That's one thing that I'm obsessed with that has really been helping me. And I'm going to be creating very specific tapping sessions based on human design engine keys. So that's going to be something that will be available for you in the future. So look out for that.
00:54:21
Speaker
But again, I just want to reiterate that you can do and be whatever you want. Like everything is happening in divine timing. You're on the spiritual path. You're on this purpose path. Things are unfolding as things come up that feel sticky and like you need to work through them.
00:54:39
Speaker
Just know that that is just there to keep you safe. Our brains are wired to keep us safe. Our ego is there to keep us safe. It doesn't want us to fail. It doesn't want us to feel embarrassed. It doesn't want us to get rejected. But we live in a time and space now where that's not going to happen. You're not going to be burned at the stake. You're not going to be killed for living your purpose.
00:55:05
Speaker
sharing your beliefs and your opinions and that is the ultimate fear. It comes down to dying or being abandoned and you're not going to die from it and you're not going to be abandoned from the people who actually really care and love you. If you're abandoned from haters, if haters abandon you, if it turns out that family members and close friends that you thought were close to you end up abandoning you for living your purpose,
00:55:26
Speaker
That's a fucking great because those are not your people. We don't want people around that are fake supporters that actually want to keep us small and don't want us to succeed and are so limited in their own life and so miserable that they want to keep us down. You do not need to be around people like that. So just know that maybe you just haven't found your community yet. Maybe you haven't found a group of like-minded people, like-minded spiritual entrepreneurs, leaders,
00:55:51
Speaker
just friends who are cool ass people that are there to support you because they're also doing similar things to you, start finding community because you're going to feel like at every turn that you're going to be abandoned. But you need someone there in your corner to be like, no girl, like post it, like post the thing, do the thing, put out the offering, create the masterclass, do it, all sign up. I got your back. Like you need someone there that's like supporting you and lifting you up and like cheering you on because we really can't
Conclusion and Connection
00:56:19
Speaker
do this alone. Like we need the support of each other.
00:56:22
Speaker
If that's been missing you in your life, just look for that.
00:56:25
Speaker
know that I'm here for you. I'm always here to support you. I want to help you have confidence. I want you to see where your gifts are, where you can utilize parts of you that maybe didn't even know existed to shine. I want to help you break through the limiting beliefs, the imposter syndrome, the fear. And so whenever you're ready to dive deep into your human design or jinkies, you know where to find me. I will put a link in my show notes so you can sign up for a reading. It would be honestly my honor.
00:56:55
Speaker
Again, 2-4 Profile, I love my clients. It's like a long-term relationship that I want to build with you and help you go after your dreams and support you because I think we're all here.
00:57:08
Speaker
to do this together. If you're listening to this, you are part of my fractal line, which is a part of souls who are here to be in my life and to learn from me. We want you to put yourself out there so that your people can hear from you and learn from you and take all the medicine that you're here to give them. That's not going to happen until we break through the fear and put ourselves out there. You've got this girl.
00:57:30
Speaker
I hope you have a beautiful week. I hope this was helpful. I hope you learned how to kind of break through those limiting beliefs, do the four question thing, do the turnaround, let me know how it goes. And yeah, I hope you have a great week. Oh my gosh, I cannot wait to see you next time. Take care guys.
00:57:48
Speaker
Thank you so much for being here and listening beauty. If you enjoyed this episode, please be sure to leave a review and share the episode with a friend who you know will love it. We can connect further on Instagram at I am Alyssa Mae. So come say hello, leave a comment of your favorite takeaway on my most recent post and I cannot wait to connect. Thank you so much and I will see you next time.