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The Meathead Chronicles
31 Plays6 months ago
Real, hardcore guy talk about lawns, chicks, Halloween and college football.
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Transcript
Unexpected Distractions and Upselling Tactics
00:00:10
Speaker
You don't need no words to make a good song
00:00:42
Speaker
No, no, no, no, no.
00:00:47
Speaker
Hey, buddy. No, go ahead. Go ahead, bro. You're sorry. I was just going to say hey. I saw you looking at your phone there. What's going on? Anything popping at the crib? Fucking lawn doctor trying to sneak in another visit that I didn't sign up for.
Gym Culture and Demographics
00:01:03
Speaker
What are they upselling you? These pussies, dude, they come over and spray chems. which has rejuvenated my lawn, which is really struggling because we had some issues. But dude, they're trying to sneak in another visit without asking me.
00:01:16
Speaker
So I'm gonna have to lay down the law. This is a paid consultation or they just show up? Is it this just like Colorado where everyone tries to get you to aerate your lawn where they put holes in it? and They do that too. But yeah, dude, they show up. It's like 90 bucks.
00:01:32
Speaker
$89 to be exact. Some guy tells you lawn's a piece of shit. Well, they're there for 10 minutes. They spray some shit on it. And I've always had mixed feelings about it. But don't try to sneak shit in on me.
00:01:44
Speaker
Don't try to sneak another service on me. Just because the economy's starting to look a little trepidatious. Lawn doctor, dude. I don't have any of that. Yeah, well. I don't have a long. Yeah, I would love that. So, yeah, dude. But I liked your text last night. It sounded like the gym was popping with hotties.
00:02:04
Speaker
it It was like if I go at night, it's a younger crowd, I'll say. Guys and girls, Lance. That wasn't just females. Good looking, maybe early 20s college meathead dorks there, too.
00:02:15
Speaker
couple middle-aged guys holding it together. We were high-fiving each other. Are you the only Caucasian?
00:02:24
Speaker
um Well, i would say there's a lot of European blood in and the high society of Costa Rica. So I don't think I'd stand out as like the whitest person for miles at at this place, this okay upscale health club. But I don't know if there's any other gringos there, if that's
Exhibitionism and Gym Fashion
00:02:41
Speaker
what you're asking. I mean, I have a buddy, Mark, who's a gringo.
00:02:45
Speaker
white dude from Idaho and there's ah ah a lady, a very eccentric middle-aged lady who I think is a gringa. It's very interesting how she works out and does all these, all these like it's a little, I don't know how to describe it. I wouldn't say it's like slutty, but it's like a little excessive.
00:03:02
Speaker
It's like like doing ah doing all these things that always seem like her ass is up in the air. or like it's it's very It's interesting. It's like a combo of jazzercise and yoga.
00:03:14
Speaker
Yeah, something like that. But I don't i don't know if she's trying to put on a show or it's just like the exercise she's choosing. Is she attractive?
00:03:25
Speaker
I mean, I don't want to say no, but I'm not... don't know. I don't know i know how to describe it. Yeah. Well, maybe there's an excitement when you're at the gym that makes everybody look a little bit better.
00:03:38
Speaker
You think? Well, the blood's flowing through the body, you're doing the lifts, it's moving, it's circulating and... I don't know. I'm thinking there might be a little more excitement. and So, so people that you otherwise might not consider look quite a bit better. That's a theory as a theory for today.
00:03:53
Speaker
Well, do you think there's a ah certain like sluttiness to to some workouts? Like, do do do you feel like when you go to gym, there's like certain guys or girls are trying to put on like an exhibition and and with the girl, it ends up being like a lot of like,
00:04:09
Speaker
I don't know, like Roman deadlifts out in the middle of with and the middled of the middle of everything, just kind of like back arched and sticking their big ass out. and I'm to put on you. i like to ask you so you sound like the perv here.
00:04:21
Speaker
so Well, I always lean on the feminist point of view first because I don't know that women need to try to get more attention. If they do that growing machine where they butterfly their legs, I don't think they need to like seek attention doing an exercise like that.
00:04:39
Speaker
It's just going to happen. So that is the most bizarre. I mean, it's like, every time I see that, I still laugh that thing where they're like squeezing their thighs together. Is there a butterfly machine? Yeah. And what's the practical application of that lift? Like, what is it?
00:04:53
Speaker
It's like strengthening your growing muscles, your groin muscles. What that do? I don't know, but it's, I couldn't, I don't think I could ever do it. Even if someone's like, your groin is going to kill you. I don't know if I could do that machine.
00:05:05
Speaker
spread eagle and then tighten it together? Yeah. So no, the answer in general is probably no, but I'm sure there are chicks. actually seen some that really it is a display for, it's a place for them to, it's like the runway for them to show what they got.
00:05:22
Speaker
That's happening in your gym or like in the U think? Even back when we were young, dude, 24 hour fitness was like a place to find chicks. I mean, there was no, there were no dating apps. So it was like a place to like get dates.
00:05:35
Speaker
Yeah, I don't, I mean, I'm like pretty, pretty frumpy when I go work out. Not exactly like trying to show off these, these sweet packs. Do you wear a tank top? I have, but normally just like an old t-shirt.
00:05:48
Speaker
Have you ever seen me like, have you ever seen me dress up in like gear for anything? I'm just curious if you ever wore a tank top. Cause I think that'd be a much too far for me. If you're wearing a tank top,
00:06:00
Speaker
I don't know what kind of person you are i don't think I've ever been friends with the tank top guy. Well, tank not tank top, but I have an old t-shirt. I'll cut the sleeves off. You ever done that? Okay, but the shoulders are covered.
Age, Attraction, and Self-Regulation
00:06:11
Speaker
Possibly. Depends how how dry you know how aggressive I get with the cut. But yeah, I mean, I'm not like, I don't have like the thin, it's not like a bra strap or something. and in i But it's not bad actually working out in that.
00:06:24
Speaker
You might like it. I don't know, man. i just Like a track uniform? Did you wear a tank top when you running track? Like something like that? It actually, the one I had when i was in high school had shoulders.
00:06:35
Speaker
Okay. I'm not saying you were a slut. But it cut off right it right right there at the rotator cuff. There's something like some male behavior in a gym. not Not everyone, but like the people that are really into it is just bothers me so much.
00:06:50
Speaker
Yeah. Yes. It's worse. I mean, maybe maybe ah maybe it's ah just... the But the female behavior is kind of ridiculous too. But there are some exercises where you just can't get around it. Like there's like just a like the the lats. If you do like a dumbbell, like you're on a yeah on like a bench and you're doing a dumbbell lat pull up.
00:07:07
Speaker
And so, you know, the girls doing that, it's it's like, look out world. It is very hard to turn away. Ass up in the air. i know. Do you give yourself permission to look at all the women there, no matter what their age?
00:07:21
Speaker
Do you just like stare let it, let it happen. Let the fantasies run wild. Like how do you handle that? Yeah, dude, I stare.
00:07:31
Speaker
I get super close to someone. I just stare at my eyes. You why? And I just start breathing heavy. And, uh, no, I i mean I don't know. I think I travel i might even make a, it might be obvious that I'm like purposely looking away or it's almost more ridiculous than if I was just looking at them.
00:07:48
Speaker
Like if if you're there working out and some girl's doing one of these these lap pull-up dumbbell things and they're on a bench, basically like on all fours with their back arch and their ass up in the air and some like, you know, everyone's wearing like spandex basically now. Mm-hmm.
00:08:02
Speaker
you know, it's kind of weird if you're right next to them. Like, you just like, what do you do? Yeah. You just glance, you glance, you side eye it. Yeah, dude. But do you give yourself permission to look at all ages?
00:08:15
Speaker
Like how how low will you go? Are we talking about on the low one? Dude, I have, I would like to get out. I would like to do a like I have no concept of age anymore. Okay, but before we get into that piece, dude, how low would you go? Well, my I am getting into that piece, but I'm saying, like, I might be looking at a freaking 16-year-old. I have no idea, but she could be 29.
00:08:37
Speaker
twenty nine Like, I don't really have an ah ah an idea at the bottom. All I have is my daughter who's 14, her friend said, and I know they look pretty young, but mature, like, way more mature than probably their male counterparts, you know, physically.
00:08:53
Speaker
But I can... not look at that like yeah but does yeah that's my question is does your penis have a governor like a car or a delivery truck might have a governor to keep a guy from going too fast does it keep you from ages that are illegal or just weird because i think the 20s is even a little weird to be attracted to that at this point because what 20 year old wants to fuck you oh i don't um i haven't found myself erect in the gym So i don't know it comes out of my penis being hard.
00:09:27
Speaker
Well, you know, excited. I'm asking like, really, what permission do you give yourself? Just as a general question, I think a lot of other people might want to know that. Do they? they want to know what I think?
00:09:38
Speaker
I don't have, but I haven't thought about it. But I mean, can I look, can I be attracted to a 25-year-old just physically? Yes. Yes. Am I gonna, would I ever act or do anything about it?
00:09:50
Speaker
No. But there's a there's a process in this thinking. Because I think you look and you might appreciate somebody who takes care of themselves and then move on. But then there's a piece that you cross over the line into a little bit of a fantasy. It happens all the time.
00:10:05
Speaker
i'm I'm assuming you go a lot younger than me. I look for around the 30s, bro, and and i can't the fantasy I can't cross the line into fantasy. Anything below that anymore. And part of it's because no 20-year-old wants to bang my 50-year-old bearded ass.
00:10:22
Speaker
but So yeah you're you're basing this on what you think you could get? I think it's a mutual attraction. And it's the same way I've never understood people that rape. Like I never understood the appeal of that kind of dominance.
00:10:36
Speaker
I couldn't imagine having sex with somebody that doesn't want to have sex with me. So I have to keep it in the 30s in order to have a proper fantasy. Now, I'm curious if you're different is my question. Are you going down into the teens and really thinking about the girl bending over who's 21?
00:10:51
Speaker
What are you, what's going on in your head, man? Speak. Yeah. I have an amazing governor where I have this instinct where I just have a thing where it's like 30 and under. It's just off switch.
00:11:03
Speaker
Even as far as like looking at sports industry, swim seat issues. Once I turned 35, I was like, this is, these girls are terrible basically. But what you admit that some guys really don't give a fuck.
00:11:16
Speaker
They have no sense or, or respect for that potential dynamic. Well, I mean, every every attractive person you see, like woman you see in media or entertainment or, like I said, modeling, they're all like between 17 and 24.
00:11:33
Speaker
And their images are just being pumped into us. even Even like, don't know how it works now, but prominent roles in movies and stuff, like once a girl hits a certain age, then she becomes like a typecast and completely different.
00:11:46
Speaker
Mm-hmm. And so you probably are seeing those images of young people. I have a hard time believing that you're like, oh, that swimsuit model is not that attractive because I don't think she wouldn't chew and but she would have sex with me.
00:12:00
Speaker
No, I think she's attractive. I'm just saying I won't go into, and these aren't long fantasies, but just into the next phase of the thought process. um I'm not, I will, this going to sound like I'm lying, but I'm not really out there having fantasies about about people. even Even some girl doing the groin machine.
00:12:22
Speaker
It looks like like some sort of vaginal exercise or something. um that's Okay. I'm not buying this. fannna say zone Matt, I'm not buying this shit. i don't buy I don't buy... Well, I'm not buying your shit. How about that?
00:12:35
Speaker
Oh, damn, boy. You're going 30 and over for all your your instant... Oh, man that's that that's attractive. Sexually attractive. No, all I said was I will seek to like validate an age range.
00:12:50
Speaker
I might be off. But then if it's a teeny bopper, I'm not... I'm cutting off the thought process to the best of my ability. But you're trying to tell me that your mind... I agree with that.
00:13:02
Speaker
But your mind doesn't go to what would it be like to put my penis in her. it It does. It fundamentally does. It's not a sick, disgusting thing.
00:13:13
Speaker
It just happens. And you have to consciously shut that shit down when it's an inappropriate thing or or it's like above a range where you feel comfortable.
00:13:24
Speaker
It's not a long drawn out fantasy. Oh, now we're at the ice cream shop and we're having ice cream and then we're going to movie and then we'll probably go home and have sex. It's not that. Raising family. It's just like, hmm.
00:13:36
Speaker
Introducing her to your parents. Yeah, it's like eight, it's like seven seconds. Well, then then as as long as I don't perceive this person to be a child,
00:13:47
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. Then you can go there because it's human, right? It's human to have, oh what would it be like to have sex with that person? But I'm not sure that I'm, I don't think I'm going out. What I wonder, what it'd be like to put my penis inside that person.
00:14:00
Speaker
You go there. I probably don't, but I probably think, what would it be like to have sex with this person? Or I'm looking at a body part on somebody that's attractive and going in a sexual way. That is a human thing.
00:14:15
Speaker
don't we can get away from that. Unless you and you ever get in like, I wonder if I could, i could, i don't know, like get, get with that person or like, I mean, is your, is your like, I wonder if, wonder if I'd have a shot at that.
00:14:28
Speaker
I don't anymore. I used to. i don't at all anymore. Obviously, i have but healthy, happy marriage, but but I do sometimes, and I'm sure my wife does as well. An attraction will start based upon compatibility, and you're like, oh, I wonder would like to be in a relationship with that person, and then a thought about the sex would come after.
00:14:47
Speaker
Whereas when I was younger, it was more of like, hmm, yeah, and then... and but How many times out public, you never get the chance to make a connection, but you're just like, wow, that is a beautiful person.
00:15:01
Speaker
Every time I go out. I think Colorado's pretty solid. for Yeah, I mean, Littleton's a little run down, dude. I think the average age here is like 55 now. but Some dumpy asses and stuff.
00:15:14
Speaker
Yeah, but down in Denver, every time you'll see somebody. ah Denver's probably gotten a little better as it becomes a more lamer city of of a transplants and shit. Like, it's probably like, there's so many young 20-something people that come there now, like, it's probably quite a scene.
00:15:33
Speaker
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00:16:00
Speaker
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00:16:34
Speaker
Visit paulandrauldopools.com for more information. peace of a is if we're gonna go You're going to put me, corner me in this. So we we both think like like, I don't know what you call it, being attracted to a child is pretty disgusting.
00:16:49
Speaker
But historically, over time, over the last couple thousand years, very normal thing. Like people getting married as young as my daughter, shit like that. Yeah. And bloodletting was a normal thing. And like lots of other medieval type shit was normal back then. um I mean, or caveman shit. I don't know.
00:17:08
Speaker
I think we're in a civilized society where one goes, okay, I'm not going to do that. I wonder what the, what the shift, like, why did that happen? Who, who grew a conscious or a sense of morals? It was like, we can't be, we can't have people marrying people under 17 or having sexual intercourse with like I don't know that it's universal. I imagine it's based on women's rights, civil rights, and ah just changing perceptions of respect for women.
00:17:35
Speaker
I think if left to our own devices, men, not all of us, a percentage of men would want to own women. You might fall in that category. I don't know. I think um want someone to own me. That's what I want. I want someone to own me.
00:17:50
Speaker
Like and pay for your shit? I don't know. Just, just, i have no say in anything. I don't have to make any decisions. It's just someone's like do this to that. And I'm like, okay, that's, that's ultimately what we all want.
00:18:01
Speaker
That, that sense of ah being owned is a sense of freedom in my book. As long as they're nonviolent and they give me a chance to rest, I would say.
00:18:12
Speaker
and And this is serious. Would you like to, maybe not in that context, but would you like to be free of any decision-making? you think that would be a ah like a chill life? As long as the, it's like i what what I said last week about a dictator who makes good decisions would be kind of a good ah good society.
00:18:29
Speaker
if If you had ah essentially a leader that made all decisions for you, but made good decisions, you didn't really have to think about anything. What, you think that would be fulfilling or you'd get bored? Or just you couldn't take it because you're such a ah born leader?
00:18:43
Speaker
Way to back me into looking like a dick. I'm not sure it would be for me. That's what this episode's about, dude. Backing each other down. and NBA season started. i don't think a here i don't think it would work for me unless the context was quite literally where we had wonderful fresh food, like autonomous housing, and then we were like... E-bikes. Each day we had goals, physical goals and intellectual goals.
00:19:12
Speaker
But i'm not I'm not sure how we got I think you just your pedophilia was giving you guilt and you're deflecting. it's not that far away. like when you talk when you When you hear about something like rock bands in the 70s, for example, and groupies they had and shit, it's it's insane.
00:19:30
Speaker
like Like some of the girls they're running around with. and Yeah. I mean, there's how many songs were about somebody being 17? Yeah, I know. Literally in the the title.
00:19:42
Speaker
but But even younger, and it was pretty normal, and like and everybody was doing it, like everyone. Yeah. so But that just takes me back to what you were saying, how you're like, I think, like although we now have rules and it's illegal, people like more people have left to their own device would be like, oh, I'll get down with 15-year-old. Oh, yeah. People would do it.
00:20:01
Speaker
normal What we consider normal people, not just what we label as pedophiles now. And that is fucking scary when you have a daughter. Yeah, and I think there's more sick fucks out there than we know. i mean, way more.
00:20:14
Speaker
I don't, I mean, it it could be because I have a daughter or my age. I don't know. But like, I do not find like real youthfulness, like sexually attractive. I know it's groundbreaking, but like, like if I perceive someone as like way too young, even if they're not,
00:20:33
Speaker
Like, like people that look really young, like a child, like there's no, there's like zero sexual energy. Yeah. It's probably a good thing. Yeah. But it's weird that that doesn't seem like the norm, actually.
00:20:46
Speaker
Like when you consider like historical figures that are all fucked around young people and all this stuff, like it's kind of strange to me. Yeah, it's hard to know what's what. I think there's probably ah large contingent of men who feel the same way we do, where it's like, yeah, that's off limits and that's weird.
00:21:05
Speaker
And then you start to, the attraction comes from different angles. You start to appreciate a middle-aged woman who takes care of herself, who's smart and nope dynamic. mac
00:21:18
Speaker
And that's different than... ah parade of meat but you're talking about post engagement like you're like what you I think you're you're getting in deep but you're like oh there's a connection this person's awesome they're well developed in so many different levels but I'm talking about walking on the street too you you have to admit you're at an age where if you see somebody you know is middle-aged who's healthy and you know bouncing around that that's attractive Well, you probably saw it too as a dad with a daughter. I see it now, even with my daughter being 14, people kind of, even men kind of checking her out.
00:21:56
Speaker
Yes. In Latin America, it's more common, I would think, even to the point of catcalling whistling or whatever. I saw older dudes do that to my daughter when she was 13, and I fucking, one time I almost turned around.
00:22:10
Speaker
Right. and but But yeah, that's that's whack to me. I don't like that. I don't think we should do it. I think we've confirmed you're not. that guy at the gym? I, I'm not at a turbo gym, dude. That that's for sure. I'm definitely not at like a turbo turbo gym with a, with a younger crowd.
00:22:26
Speaker
lot old people there. If you're into, if you're into like 60 year olds, my gym is where, where you get your rocks off bro. Cause that's where it's at dude. Like it's, it's an older crowd, older stuffy people and money crowd.
00:22:39
Speaker
Yeah. Well, if you find a hot 60 year old, that's probably pretty great. Yeah. It's pretty good fantasy. Pretty good fantasy. I don't, what would you go to a gym? I have, I just haven't recently.
00:22:53
Speaker
What do oh, you're all, all your sprints and outside plyometrics. I have weights downstairs, but yeah, I just, I just don't, it's too aggravating. You were talking about the the men who act stupid and grunt and all this. And we've said many times that guys carry around like six liters of water and they're just annoying. I just can't deal with that.
00:23:11
Speaker
I also can't deal with the the gym next to our place. It's so much cardio. And a lot of like, those stare machines are really loud and annoying. It's like, stop, get off that thing. It's also like the, if an attractive woman is there, the dichotomy of the gym is the worst too.
00:23:30
Speaker
Like, there's just like sharks, these meathead dorks, like, but it's any other scene, right? that' I don't know. It's a weirder environment, don't you think?
00:23:41
Speaker
It's all super super physical and you know there's no intellectual component. It's just like, yeah, puss, puss. That's why I turn away from that. That's probably why you're still there.
00:23:56
Speaker
but yeah No, it. I mean, I've hated going to the gym, but since I started surfing and I don't know. It seems like as we get older, it's supposed to lift. I've actually kind of enjoyed lifting weights. I hate to say it. hate to go public with that. It sounds ridiculous, but like I've been enjoying lifting weights lately.
00:24:13
Speaker
But I have it down to where it's like I'll do like two or three exercises, so it's not like I'm in there for too long. And then I can also go on flexible schedule, so I can go when there's nobody there. Where are we going to go next? Because we did confirm you're sort of a borderline pedo.
00:24:29
Speaker
And now, is public service message. Why he needs to pretend to whack it and throw it. I just don't understand why you need to pretend to whack it and throw your jizz to express that you're bored.
00:24:41
Speaker
Babe, this is what guys do. But why not roll your eyes or stare off into the distance? Or maybe just yawn to show you're bored. Babe, think about it.
00:24:52
Speaker
When I pretend to whack it, I'm sending a clear signal to someone that what they're saying or doing is so boring that I'd rather play with myself. And when I pretend to throw my jizz all over, I'm essentially saying I'm done with that person or situation.
00:25:06
Speaker
Do you know how after we have sex, I sort of want to get away from you? Yes, you seem to run out of the room after we have sex. That's because I'm done. I've done my business.
00:25:18
Speaker
So when you pretend to throw your jizz, you're essentially saying you have nothing left to give the situation. Like how your penis goes limp after you jizz too quickly and I'm left feeling unsatisfied. Almost, babe.
00:25:30
Speaker
It's not about what a guy can give to a situation or a person. It's about what a guy can get. Guys want to get hard and blow their loads. If doing that doesn't feel possible, it's time for a dude to bounce.
Halloween Traditions and Safety Myths
00:25:42
Speaker
This has been a public service message. want to talk about the horror since it's Halloween. Well, I got a question about Halloween for you. It's not about whore. I just want know what kind of household you are. First of all, do you get a lot of traffic? And then second, are you doing like full candy bars?
00:25:56
Speaker
No, we just do the little ones. We can't s serve society up full candy bars. Little fat fucks. Little childhood obesity is still a problem. You get them organic.
00:26:07
Speaker
Yeah, they're not on Ozempic yet. Soon they'll be serving Ozempic in the school lunchrooms, bro. Why wouldn't they? and we had ah um In Jersey, I remember at the top of the hill in our neighborhood, there's a guy would hand out like dollar bills, rumored mobster.
00:26:23
Speaker
It was the best. it But it was a little scary. it was like he was He wasn't like that happy, but he'd just pull out a wad of cash and start handing out money. He'd be like, here you go. He didn't plan for Halloween. i was like, what are you fucking little pricks doing here?
00:26:35
Speaker
Here you go. It was the best. There were some houses that give out like bags of pennies or something. and be like what the fuck? Pennies? Yeah. Yeah. And in the 80s, there was that story of people like putting razors in the candy.
00:26:48
Speaker
Dude, I didn't go out one year because of that. My parents like, you're not going out this year. All you had to do was check the candy, mom. Yeah, I don't know. It's like you could just cut it open, right?
00:27:00
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I think you could see if they snuck a razor in there. Was that true? I don't even remember like if it's true. I mean i knew some of my friends that they all went out and they didn't die. like Yeah, I don't know how big the story that was, but scary. Scary indeed. But we're a house where we have like three decorations up and we'll get a nice run of kids, but not too many.
00:27:19
Speaker
But not lights off? I have before, dude. Being a prick. Yeah. like I have before. Why? is it why i think because we were going to go out and we were kind of in getting ready and just about ready to leave.
00:27:34
Speaker
It's not like we couldn't like pause for a minute and hand a few things out and then shut it down. But it wasn't like Trump supports Halloween, therefore lights out. No. But where we live, because it is a mishmash of like some nicer homes, some lower end kind of homes. But like the lower end homes, this is I'm not going to stereotype, but like they really go deep on the Halloween stuff.
00:27:57
Speaker
Like, I mean, deep. So many decorations. The whole fucking yard is full of shit. Blow up things. Dolls with their heads chopped off and like red paint poured on them. Like weird stuff.
00:28:11
Speaker
Yeah, there's definitely people that really love Halloween. Yeah, what is that? What is that? I have no idea. They love horror. They love the scary stuff. They love the gore. They're spending some money too.
00:28:23
Speaker
I mean, the idea Halloween, i remember when I took my kids to the U.S. one Halloween, we were there at my parents' house and they were just like, what the fuck? You just walk up to someone's house and they just give you candy for like a foreigner.
00:28:34
Speaker
it was It was like the most mind-boggling thing. And they were like, this is this is amazing. They couldn't get over it. It doesn't seem to make sense in a country where immigrants are running around raping and killing people. I mean it doesn't seem like you would do that in such an unsafe country.
00:28:51
Speaker
It would be sweet if, like, it in a way, that night was just like this. Like, you were out you were able to go out and get candy and shit, but it would it was like the potential for violence and everything was like that night. Everyone dressed up and they had masks on and just people just dying. You might make it home with a bunch of candy, but you might get jumped might get yeah your kidneys ripped out by Venezuelan.
00:29:14
Speaker
Make it kind of fun. I assume that's what it's like because, I mean, I've been listening to our leaders. I assume. Wait. No. You weren't going to do it, bro. No. You weren't going to do it.
00:29:29
Speaker
Do you like horror, though? You like horror movies? No, not at all, dude. Not at all. Do you know the major franchises? Do you know like Friday the and –
00:29:39
Speaker
Do you know Nightmare on Elm Street and Child's Play? I don't know what Child's Play is. The Chucky. The little doll. Yeah, I don't... yeah not I'm not... i mean, I haven't really watched horror in a while.
00:29:55
Speaker
You don't like it? Why don't you like it? E.T. about as far as i I'll go on horror sci-fi. Okay. I don't know. I don't know. What's the joy... what is the what's the joy ah but It's just disturbing and it's it just gives you a nice high to get scared.
00:30:15
Speaker
Sort of like playing basketball. It's very similar. Or it's almost like a competition ways, right? you're watching it with other people, it's like, oh, you jumped. No, maybe, maybe, maybe amongst dorks. But no, I think it's more of the creativity is expressed through your dread and your fear watching it.
00:30:35
Speaker
Amongst dorks. Yeah. I like that though. I like horror. I like a good horror film. like You do? Like the funny ones or the real horror ones? There's a couple funny ones I like. couple like Evil Dead movies.
00:30:49
Speaker
That's another franchise. A couple of the zombie things where they make it funny I like. Shaun of the Dead. You should watch that. But no, i don't I would rather watch a little deeper terror. Possibly could be realistic.
00:31:01
Speaker
And it'll fuck me up for a week, but it's worth it. For a week? so i mean I haven't watched horror in forever. i just kind of like Go watch that Conjuring, the first one, dude.
00:31:13
Speaker
The Conjuring. I would like that. Just watch it see because you're a religious. It has that piece to it and it should scare the fuck out of you. Yeah, you said it was almost like too much for you. It ruined you for a while. Why would I want to watch that?
00:31:28
Speaker
ah Just because I think it'd be good for you. I'll watch it my kids and see if they're pussies or not. And if they freak out, I'll be like, I'll like, Reagan yard. I'll be like, you fucking pussies.
00:31:39
Speaker
You don't get dinner. That's the competition you're talking about. You have to take it like a man, Luca. A lot of the young people will ignore it. Like they've, I don't know, maybe social media has blasted them with so much weird shit that they're just like, oh, this is stupid.
00:31:53
Speaker
I think you'll be scared. That's not real. Yeah, I think you'll be scared though. What are gonna do for Halloween? Just sit here while my wife gets up to drop candy in people's sacks.
00:32:06
Speaker
ah you ah Are you a tiger?
College Football Coaching Industry and Effects on Athletes
00:32:09
Speaker
What's the big costume this year up there, you think? Non-gendered furry or something like that? In Littleton. I don't know if you've heard, dude, but they're really cracking down on woke shit. too Left wing Littleton. You see a Kristi Noem costume, giant boobs and an Uzi.
00:32:27
Speaker
That's a winner.
00:32:29
Speaker
I'll be up there for Halloween, actually. Oh. I didn't think about that. I wonder if the house I'm staying in, if we get we get traffic. You staying with that one gal? Yeah. wonder if we get traffic.
00:32:41
Speaker
All right. Well, what's our closer on this piece of shit? You want to get into the college football coaching carousel every time one of these coaches gets fired?
00:32:54
Speaker
It's like their buyouts are 50, $70 million. Is that insane? I don't care. Just segue from horror to the college coaching carousel so I can. Well, I just look to my right and it says,
00:33:08
Speaker
$168 million dollars in buyouts owed to fired FBS football coaches. that's That doesn't include the that doesn't include like the most recent one. It's kind of weird.
00:33:19
Speaker
I mean, i don't really mind.
00:33:23
Speaker
What's happening? I mean, $100 million, bucks you could do a lot at the university with $100 million. yeah but what's happening there? What's going on? Is it because NIL money puts more pressure? i mean, why would you part ways after one season rough season?
00:33:38
Speaker
I've seen a few examples of of just early firings all across sports now. Well, Dion, I mean, Dion, that the Buffs got, I don't know if I've ever seen them get the shit beat out of them as bad as they were the other day. yeah only i can remember one game maybe in like 2006 against Florida State where they just got blown up. But Yeah, i mean, a lot of schools are probably fire his ass after that game, the way the season started and stuff.
00:34:04
Speaker
Yeah. And i I don't know. like you can't like If you look back in history, some of the greatest coaches, like Mike Krzyzewski or something, sucked for like a few years. like It took a while to get get it going. I know.
00:34:15
Speaker
I know. That doesn't happen anymore. even Even Jim Harbaugh at Michigan. like He was about to get fired, and then he won a national championship. I don't understand these. like So the guy, the Penn State coach, Penn State was going to be in the running for national championship this year. They they suck.
00:34:32
Speaker
They fired the coach midseason. Even after last year, they went to the national, I think, semifinals and almost won to go to the finals. But they own 49 million bucks. Yeah. Why would you do that? Was that that the guy all of a sudden turned terrible?
00:34:45
Speaker
Did he all of a sudden become a shitty recruiter? and Like, is football not the type of sport where, you know, shit comes down to the wire? Because they lost a couple close games, I think. I think the UCLA win was the dagger, but it's still... What are we talking about?
00:35:01
Speaker
Well, that's another thing. Of course, it's like you got these fucking kids flying all... Like, the Penn State now plays UCLA. And they came out flat, probably because they're fucking 18. They're flying all over the country to play a game the next day. But, yeah.
00:35:14
Speaker
But you're right. I mean, you have like... Mike, this maybe should be a separate episode. um I'm really excited that you're you're engaged on this. ah But, like, Mike Gundy coached Oklahoma State for, like, 20 years. They had a lot of success. He's had a couple bad seasons. Gone.
00:35:29
Speaker
Like, there's a – I don't know. When's the right time? I think the problem now you said with the n NIL money is, like, people feel like if you don't make the decision now because of the recruiting cycle, you need to you need to identify someone quicker so you can't wait until the end of the season because then that person, like,
00:35:46
Speaker
will lose out on the recruiting cycle maybe. Yeah, but they do, like the community of the NCAA and all of its university presence, they do realize that only a few teams.
00:35:58
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. make Make the final four, right? So like what, how do you define a successful program? And how much money are you going to pay a coach to to to state, I'm going to be a champion? Like they fired the UCLA coach, obviously. And then like all these kids, even the local kid here that we know decommitted.
00:36:15
Speaker
I don't think he decommitted, but he's thinking about it. It just seems like such a fucked up industry, especially with young people who need consistency of moral character and consistency of leadership, and they just are on a carousel. I saw Iowa Hawkeyes fired their basketball coach, and all 11, I'm not going to say the whole team, but 11 players went into the transfer portal, 10 or 11.
00:36:39
Speaker
Just, i yeah. That's – I mean, it's it is what it is now. I it it there's like i think now people, there's a couple examples of quick fixes where a guy came in, used the NAL and transfer protocol, like Indiana built a dominant team. And people think that their program is going to do that.
00:37:04
Speaker
But it but it is it is like the amount of money though is is kind of crazy. It's like, all right, whatever. Like the loyalty thing seems to be a modern thing. Like even now, like people don't stay in a career that, you know, at one place for 30 years, whatever people bounce around, people get fired. Corporations aren't loyal to their, to their employees. But how, how these buyouts became, got like, that's what it takes to get a coach to your school. You have to tell them that if we fire you, you get, you'll get 50 million bucks.
00:37:33
Speaker
Oh my gosh. 75 million bucks. I think Texas A&M paid Jimbo Fisher. It's like, how did How did that happen? It's something crazy. mean There must be some numbers that add up, though. They must say, if we have a good football program, the amount of money flowing into our school one way or another, and applications are up, and like there must be a reason.
00:37:55
Speaker
Does it feel disgusting, though? I mean, I wonder how the coach feel like feels psychological. Like here you're instantly like insanely rich. I mean, they're already probably making a lot of money per year, but you're talking about, oh, you're worth a hundred million dollars all of sudden because youve because you sucked, because you're perceived to be a failure.
00:38:17
Speaker
it's It's like, how do you how do you, like, what do you do with that? Because you can't, you're probably not going to buy out, you know, you can't be like, well, fuck, that's great. I got 15 Ferraris so you can kiss my ass. That's probably not going to pour water on the fire of your failure and your like emotional defeat.
00:38:32
Speaker
I wonder how those people feel. Hmm. Are they just like, yeah, it is what it is. Maybe they just theys probably just say it's it's industry specific. But I just think of the 18, 19, 20 year olds trying to make sense.
00:38:46
Speaker
It's just a jaded environment for young people to be a part of because, because you know, football it is a great sport for camaraderie and for building just sort of like that coalition of buddies that we go to battles with each other and they're great memories. And now I just feel for, at least for those big schools, it's a fairly jaded environment. I see it basketball, even the D2 level, like the they They're giving out money. They own you. It's it's sort of sick.
00:39:12
Speaker
I guess you just have to realize out after high school, you have your little fun in high school. Even that is being hijacked. Hijacked. Exactly. Man, what are you going call this show?
00:39:24
Speaker
Mishmash. The unfocused POS. But, you know, in all these conversations we have, there is this tinge of this underlying theme that society is coming apart and we are identifying it in real time.
Self-Reflection and Societal Insights
00:39:41
Speaker
It's weird how almost every episode and within the next few days will be a headline that kind of just ah backs up. our topic or point of view. There's a clairvoyance to this.
00:39:53
Speaker
There's an intelligence and there's something sexy too. Something sexy. I can't put my finger on it, but it's sexy. There's two sexy things about this show, would say. its us We're pretty lucky.
00:40:13
Speaker
Hit like go and a banambo wa Wax a bag and man ae wu la Libe to nama Libe to nama Wow, wow Libe to nama You don't need no words to make a great song Libe to nama Libe to nama You don't need no real words No, no, no, no, no