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00:00:01
Episode 87: Local Man Stops Bank Robber With Canadian Destroyer
53 Plays6 years ago
Come hang with us as we talk pro wrestling moves in real fights, NXT Takeover Cardiff, Hellboy's All Japan Wresting debut and more!
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Transcript
Can wrestling moves work in real-life scenarios?
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of Predetermined, a Pro Wrestling Hangout. I'm your host, Garrett Callender, and with me, as always, a man who one day will defeat a bank robber using a wrestling finisher. Derek Halpin. If I beat up a bank robber with a wrestling finisher, what finisher do you think I'm going to use?
00:00:23
Speaker
I mean, honestly, if you're in the middle of a bank and people are robbing like the beginning of the Dark Knight, I feel like if you hit somebody with a stunner, that entire bank is gonna pop. I don't know if a bank robber would willingly sell a stunner. Well, that's because you're giving him a real one.
00:00:43
Speaker
as opposed to the one we see on television so frequently these days. Maybe an F5? Would you pop if I picked somebody up an F5 demo or would you just kind of shrug your shoulders at that?
00:00:54
Speaker
I mean it would look badass depending on the size of the person You know what would really get that crowd hot and bothered Garrett? What's that if as as they're at the window? Robbing the teller at gunpoint they get the money in the bag You know just the way you picture it in like a 30s gangster flick and right as they turn around Fucking V trigger through that like unbreakable glass
00:01:19
Speaker
See, I was thinking all day about what I would do in this situation, and I'd like to think that in a public fight situation, that I would have it in me to just bust out a Canadian destroyer.
00:01:34
Speaker
That would be the funniest move to see in a real fight. Because it requires the other person to kind of cooperate, right? Or I just flip so hard that their body has no choice but to go with me. And you know, people are dazzled by flips. People are dazzled by Canadian destroyers and pile drivers these days like nobody's business. Jesus, if you gave somebody a real pile driver in public, that would probably result in a few people vomiting as you kill a man.
00:02:06
Speaker
But I mean, I guess it's defensible if you're sticking up for the local bank. I just want to see a news headline that says, local man saves bank with Canadian destroyer. Because that will cause everyone to click that article and see what that even means. Did I ever tell you the story about the time your dad threatened me? Saying I shouldn't do that wrestling shit on you because somebody could really get hurt on me or him? Like on you?
00:02:34
Speaker
Like your dad was concernicus that I was going to do wrestling moves to you in your basement. You must have told some fucked up lies where you made it seem like you weren't antagonizing and wrestling back. Like I don't even want to wrestle down there, mom. Well, it sounds like my dad was a terrible wrestling manager and I'm a little
The White Claw craze and shortage
00:02:56
Speaker
embarrassed. You can you can do whatever moves you want to me. There's no rules in predetermined since there's no rules in predetermined.
00:03:08
Speaker
I'm going to enjoy this cold one. And you can go ahead and hit our goddamn music.
00:03:47
Speaker
I'm not drinking a white claw, by the way. Let's be clear. Well, hey. I am. I figured. I figured you would come. Oh, that day. It's becoming a signature now.
00:04:03
Speaker
And they are liquid gold at this point based on the shortage. Yeah, we didn't get to talk about that last time because it didn't exist until the day this released. We didn't find out there was a White Claw shortage. And everybody's like, ah, great. Here's that part of the show where we just talk about White Claws are plugging a product that wants nothing to do with us or pro wrestling.
00:04:26
Speaker
If they didn't want anything to do with this, then they should, I don't even know what to do because they, it said they oversold in July, like 248% over projections. I have to imagine that not us, but pro wrestling had something to do with that. It absolutely had something to do with it and it's a point of pride. And I do feel like we had a little something to do with it because we did throw back quite a few claws a couple of weeks ago.
00:04:54
Speaker
Yeah, I still can't find the mango. They're still sold out everywhere, but the second I found out about that shortage, I went and bought two cases, got them in the fridge, they are ready.
Derek's new job and missing wrestling friends
00:05:05
Speaker
Is the rumor true that your mom is now drinking white claws? Yeah, we got her on the claws. How does she feel about the claws? Honestly, she didn't tell me. She just sent the photograph of her drinking a claw.
00:05:22
Speaker
Enjoy that claw, Garrett. I am finishing off the remnants of the beers that I had left over from two weeks ago. I had three left in the fridge. I've already downed one whilst eating my dinner. And now I'm on my second as I talk for you and the lovely people listening to this podcast. So since all out weekend, how are you feeling? Like are you, have you come down fine? Do you miss it? Where, where are you at? Where are you at wrestling wise?
00:05:49
Speaker
I think I miss seeing my wrestling friends. I had a lot of fun that weekend. I've been too busy with a new position of employment in my life to really get depressed or hung up on things from a couple weeks ago. I miss hanging out with my bestie that I do this podcast with.
00:06:07
Speaker
I miss hanging out with Queen of the Ring. I miss Lowell. Yeah, miss Neil and Alex. We had a good weekend. But I've moved on, Garrett, I've been busy.
AEW's schedule impact on podcasting
00:06:20
Speaker
I'm not gonna bullshit you. I've got a lot in my lap right now. Has anything changed that we've seen? Have you rethought about anything that we've watched or your thoughts changed on any of it?
00:06:32
Speaker
I mean, I'm still coming down from the saga of Chris Jericho losing the AEW Championship for like less than 24 hours and then getting it back and now maybe it's an angle. Can we talk about
00:06:44
Speaker
the fact that within a couple of weeks here, AEW's gonna be on Wednesday nights on TNT, and we may have to adjust our recording schedule to accommodate that. Yeah, I don't see a world where we can just record on Wednesday and not talk about AEW for a full week. Yeah, that's not happening. Yeah, I think we're probably gonna either have to record later or just record and release on Thursday nights. I don't know, we'll figure something out.
00:07:15
Speaker
That's totally a possibility. We'll figure it out, but that is something that we're going to be talking about in the coming weeks.
What changes for the 100th episode?
00:07:23
Speaker
We're making room for AEW. What else can we say? Yeah, there's no better time to change your recording schedule than around the time you hit episode 100, which is going to be just a lovely milestone for us.
00:07:39
Speaker
It is a lovely little milestone. But we're not just changing our schedule for AEW, Garrett. Let's make that clear. We're changing the full content of this podcast. We're not going to be talking about wrestling. We're changing it for AEW, but we're going to be reviewing local restaurants now. This is going to be called Claws and Claws. It's going to be reviewing different flavors of white claws and different cats I've seen around the neighborhood. What's the word?
00:08:05
Speaker
repeatedly, repetitiously. Every week, we're gonna review another claw, but it's just gonna be reviewing the same six claws that they have. Well, just to get you started, this black cherry I'm currently drinking tastes just as good as all the other ones we've had.
WWE updates and surprising pushes
00:08:22
Speaker
I'm excited about NXT jumping over to the USA Network. I didn't realize how quickly that was sneaking up on us. And then I was watching SmackDown this week and suddenly they ran a preview for it. And that's next week. That's next Wednesday, man. That's next week. Wait, next Wednesday their debuting on USA. Yes.
00:08:43
Speaker
Do they have any big matches announced or anything for the live debut? Are they like popping it off with a title match or something? I don't know shit.
00:08:53
Speaker
I don't know shit. What I do know is that on SmackDown at the end of the show in a very, very awkward ending, Kevin Owens got fired by Shane McMahon. And then on social media, he posted the numbers, like in alphabetical order to spell out the letters NXT.
00:09:15
Speaker
Wait, what? So whatever, I don't have it in front of me right now, but it was like 14, 20, something, like the corresponding letter in the alphabet, whatever number that is, apparently it spells out NXT. Huh, so. Yeah. We could be seeing Kevin Owens versus Adam Cole soon. That would be great. I don't, I'm actually, hmm.
00:09:43
Speaker
he would be great on there but now I'm trying to think like how this could get confusing like it's funny thinking about switching like I don't know do you just start throwing more indie guys over there and then just have main roster guy what are we doing
00:10:00
Speaker
Well, let's let's talk about something that we've discussed before, which is how confusing this fucking wild card rule is, which reportedly will be going away soon, which will make me very, very happy because just in time for Survivor Series, where they make all the brands face each other and they're going to act like that, you know, it's been this way the whole time, but it totally hasn't. It makes sense, I guess, in a way for them to send people over to NXT for star power, not that they necessarily need it, need it.
00:10:29
Speaker
But they are bumping up to two hours. They are moving over to USA Network. Maybe part of the deal was they wanted to add a little extra star power. And who better? I mean, one of the prized NXT success stories to go on and become a world champion on the main roster. I mean, I'd be excited as hell for it to see some of those match ups. And it would make sense, I think, for Kevin, because they're still taping out of Florida, right?
00:10:56
Speaker
Yeah, that for now at least. They said, I believe the schedule they had released was up until December. Well, I guess we'll see what they end up doing, but I think this is a good segue to talk about NXT TakeOver Cardiff, which happened while you were here in Chicago, actually. I didn't realize that was like the end of August. Yeah, I think it was actually happening between us watching Hobbs and Sean going to all out.
00:11:25
Speaker
So it was happening at a time period where we were a little too busy to watch, but went back, watched a couple matches for this week's show, man. And as far as guys hopping over to brands and doing some fun stuff, did you see that Ilya Dragunov and Cesaro match? Dude. Dude. Good shit? That was good shit. And I think Cesaro needed that match. At least like he needed, I just, it was nice to see him
00:11:54
Speaker
do an indie style match again and just show me, hey, I still got this in me if you want to see me over on NXT. Well, here's the funny. He's here's the funny thing. He's still done those kind of matches from time to time with certain talent. He's worked with on the main roster. It just asks that, you know, Area 51 Bermuda Triangle Bigfoot question, which is why when they do stuff on the main roster, does it not get the same level of praise or recognition?
00:12:24
Speaker
Like he had some pretty good fucking matches with Aleister Black.
00:12:27
Speaker
that people kind of moved on from. But is it the crowds for NXT? Is it the presentation? I mean, obviously there were a lot of reasons why this match was fucking awesome. And it reminded you once again, you watch Cesaro, especially his size over Dragunov, and you're like, how the fuck hasn't Vince fallen in love with him? He can work, he has the look, he has the attitude,
00:13:14
Speaker
like what are we doing here?
00:13:15
Speaker
Getting to watch him do a match against some of the NXT UK guys would be awesome. I honestly, I really hope we get more of this and it kind of looked like, like you said, Cesaro's gotten to do some good matches with Aleister Black and didn't he have something with, do you have something with Ricochet a couple months ago or something? I think so. It just, yeah, getting to see him do this match, he just looked like, he looked really fired up to be doing that type of match in front of a really, really hot crowd.
00:13:45
Speaker
It just, it's fun. I agree with you. I think these kind of random one-off match ups like, and the thing is the crowds aren't expecting it.
00:13:55
Speaker
And they're so appreciative of it. It's, it's, and it's so weird to see because if Cesaro was on say an episode of smackdown or raw or whatever, he would kind of be like, what first second match maybe. And it wouldn't really lead to much else, but a guy of that, a guy of that level on the main roster shows up to an NXT takeover. And suddenly it's like the biggest surprise ever. And he gets a huge reaction.
00:14:21
Speaker
Yeah, they have to love C. I mean, you would think they would like seeing Cesaro get that big of a reaction and obviously he likes it. Let's let's do something with that guy or just keep that going. Yeah, I'm just I don't know. I started thinking like who else from the main roster would I like to see head over and do a one off match and even just you want Roman Reigns, don't you want Roman Reigns versus Walter? Tear that fucking flak jacket off, slap him in the chest.
00:14:52
Speaker
If he ripped that off like halfway through a Walter match and egged him on and said, come on, bring that shit on, that would make Roman the man. I would have six big dog shirts the next day and the fucking flak jacket. Oh, yeah. I'm like cocking that fist when I'm walking into work. I'm super punching all my coworkers. I'm I'm in. I'm in Roman versus Walter because, you know, Roman Reigns is my favorite wrestler now.
00:15:21
Speaker
Well, you've been pretty high on Reigns. What was it, the Buddy Murphy match that set you off? I think it, well, it was a combination of the Buddy Murphy match followed by that insane storyline that's kind of still going. It's still going. Pause. Let's talk about SmackDown a little bit. If I had told you like a month ago, hey, they're gonna give Eric Rowan a singles push, would you have believed me?
00:15:48
Speaker
Do you like a singles main event level push you're working with reigns You can call this a push if you want or you can call it The company is finally just picking people that no one gives a shit about and putting them in the middle of a pay-per-view against them
00:16:05
Speaker
to see what happens. Because watching Rowan cut that promo this week, I actually watched that on YouTube right before we started recording. He's not great. No. No. And honestly, look, I said all that stuff. Let's be real. I'm still sitting here assuming there's another twist and that it's actually Daniel Bryan, right? Because he wasn't on SmackDown.
00:16:33
Speaker
god I hope Brian was not at Smackdown so there may be another twist here and we may be overreacting but Rowan's got his own music now man and good for him and he's also got a lot of cool metal shirts and for some reason they did a real hard close-up of the just basically the middle of his face
00:16:54
Speaker
The whole camera angle seemed like they were cutting right above his eyebrows to right under his mouth. And I'm like, why is this? Why is this the shot? Because Vince knows that seeing that on a big HD television will give you a guttural response. Oh, so much beef. It's funny, he has not changed.
00:17:18
Speaker
Like nothing about his facial or his hair, nothing about him has changed since he's been in WWE. They're running out the same guy. The only thing that's changed is the shirts he's wearing. And he's got a lot of them. He's got a sweet metal shirt collection.
00:17:37
Speaker
Proud of it, he's proud of it. He's showing it off. Would you add Rowan to your stable if you saw, like if he opened up his closet and he's like, check out these band shirts I got. I've got over 750. Here's a Motorhead one. Here's Guns N' Roses. I even got a Michael Jackson Thriller shirt. And then I look over to Ricochet and I'm like, what do you got to offer? And he's like, uh, I win matches. And I'm like, oh shit, yeah, I pick him. You're picking Ricochet over Rowan?
00:18:08
Speaker
Rowan doesn't look like you would be fun to ride in a car with. I disagree. What are you gonna do with Rowan? What's the name of that fucking, that Texas chain gas station that you were telling me about? Bucky's? Bucky's. Rowan seems like he'd be down for a trip to Bucky's. That's Rowan's favorite place. That's where he's like, I'm gonna load up on like seven Slim Jims and we're gonna ride this.
00:18:36
Speaker
Seriously? Bucky's? That's my favorite restaurant. So again, I ask you, why not Rowan?
00:18:47
Speaker
Adam to the group. He's always going to be down for a trip to Bucky's. I don't know where this storyline is going. It's still going. Let's let's be very clear. I thought you mean in the storyline of me and Rowan starting a stable and it's mostly just me and him in a car. And I'm like hey Derek said I had to take you. He said that he really thought this would go well. He thought it would go somewhere. Let's just see what do you want to listen to. I'm basically you openly admitting to Rowan that you really don't want him to be there but I told you to take him and you think that's going to end well for you.
00:19:16
Speaker
Well, am I the leader of this stable?
00:19:19
Speaker
Do you feel like, I feel like doing the Bane thing to you where he puts his hand on your shoulder. Do you feel like you're in charge? Do you feel like you're in charge? No, but you know. But if I'm not in charge, then you made me join Rowan's stable and that's more fucked up. Let's wind the clock back a few years. Remember when John Cena picked Eric Rowan to be part of his Survivor Series team?
00:19:50
Speaker
Yeah, because he was really smart. John Cena realized the value of a guy who likes buckies. Hey, no, I wasn't meaning John Cena's really smart. The gimmick for that little bit was that Rowan was a genius.
00:20:07
Speaker
How so? Do you not remember that storyline?
Epic wrestling matches and crowd reactions
00:20:10
Speaker
I remember the storyline where like, like, cause the Wyatt family had broken up at that point. And like Ray was hurt or something. Yeah. And Rowan still barely talked, but he was always like in the corner solving Rubik's cubes and shit. I don't remember that. That's awesome. Again, why are you all you're doing is making more cases for why Rowan should be on your stable.
00:20:33
Speaker
I don't think so, but you are right, John Cena saw something in him, so maybe I should do. Can we go back to talking about NXT Takeover, Cardiff? Yeah, I wasn't done with that. Goddamn Cesaro spun Ilya Dragunov around 40 times. 40? Fuck, is that the record now? It has to be. It has to be. And neither of them look as fucked up as they probably should have.
00:20:57
Speaker
Oh, Cesaro did have to take a little break on the rope. I don't know if I've seen him have to stop and be like, whew, that was a lot of swings. I wish Ilya Dragunov had just been like, okay, I'm gonna eat a whole bunch of shit before this so that when you spin me all those times, I'll throw up and it's gonna look spectacular. It's gonna put me over so much when I fucking blow chunks into the third row. Have you ever seen anyone throw up in the ring?
00:21:24
Speaker
I don't think so. I've seen Scott Hall pretend to throw up on the outside of it onto Eric Bischoff. The only one I can remember is when Xavier Woods was an impact. There is a video of him getting slammed and just barfing everywhere.
00:21:41
Speaker
I have never seen that. I almost want you to just look it up on YouTube right now and watch it while we're on the air. Just so you can see this glorious geyser that comes out of his mouth when he is back hits the mat. I believe you. Look.
00:22:03
Speaker
I thought Cesaro and Ilya Dragunov was a great fucking match. Cesaro won. Let me ask, I guess that's a good question to ask. If you are down for guys doing like surprise appearances in NXT, are you cool with the main roster guys going over the majority of the time?
00:22:20
Speaker
A hundred percent. I thought this match made Ilya Dragunov look cool as shit. And he got a big match against a big name in the company. And, you know, I kind of assumed Cesaro was going to win. And I also assumed that Roman Reigns is going to beat Walter when that match happens. And you're OK with that, too. I'm kind of OK with both just as long as I get to see it at all.
00:22:43
Speaker
So now Roman Reigns versus Walter is Garrett's number one dream match. Yeah, because I love Roman Reigns now because he's, you know, he's a detective. He's Batman now. He's the world's greatest detective. Well, he's kind of a former member of the shield. He is not the God saying the world's greatest detective. I'm saying he's like Batman. He's not Batman. Batman would have
00:23:05
Speaker
Batman wouldn't have taken like four weeks to figure out who pushed the fucking metal scaffolding on him. He's a detective. He's a detective in the same way like a jealous girlfriend browses fucking social media to see if her boyfriend's up to no good.
00:23:22
Speaker
That's the level of detective Roman Reigns is. My bad. He's the same level of detective as me back in the day, going to Best Buy, looking for the movie myself, not seeing it, and going and asking somebody if they have it to confirm that no, they do in fact not have it.
00:23:38
Speaker
I just wanna make sure. I don't wanna be kicking myself hypothetically later tonight when I think I should have asked. Yeah, I'm down for some Walter and Roman Reigns. I'm sure everybody else is too. I gotta also talk about that main event. I'm very excited to discuss this with you because you and I discussed a very similar match probably a year ago, I don't know, somewhere last year.
00:24:07
Speaker
What, like a 42 minute long epic? No, this exact match. Yeah. Like you even, if I recall the last time we watched these two fight, you said it was the greatest big man match you'd ever seen. With, with a, well, I'm fucked with Walter. It makes sense. Well, like my, here's the thing. Walt, my feelings on Walter have changed. Oh no. That's another claw. I'll have a drink to that.
00:24:33
Speaker
My feelings on Walter qualifying as a big man have changed drastically in the last year, because now I just view him as big against most of these other guys.
00:24:43
Speaker
Well, on television, it still looks like a giant guy versus a small guy. It does, but would you like, like you acknowledge that, like if Cesaro squared up against Walter, which would be fucking awesome. Can we talk about how awesome that would be for a second? Can we just get Cesaro on NXT UK and get like half of the jizzes out over there? Let's just combine NXT and NXT UK to one roster and then send Cesaro and Kevin Owens over there and call it a day.
00:25:13
Speaker
Yeah, I'm pretty okay with that. Maybe get Ricochet back over there too. Yeah, I think Walter and Tyler Bate have fantastic chemistry. And I think that match felt like it went on forever and not in a bad way.
00:25:33
Speaker
It felt like an epic. It had that good like New Japan style start where it had a real gradual beginning, you know, like it just correct it had, you know, a lot of lockups and then it just gradually got crazier and crazier. And I watched this match actually today on my way home from work. I had headphones on and watch this thing on my iPhone.
00:25:57
Speaker
And watching a match this good on your iPhone is like watching Dunkirk on an airplane. This is just not the way it's just not meant to be viewed like this. But I yelled so much in the car while my wife was driving, just like shrieking at some of the moves these motherfuckers did to each other. I wish I could see the look on your wife's face.
00:26:22
Speaker
as she basically chauffeurs you home to you coming in your pants while watching wrestling on your phone. I love many eye rolls. How many eye rolls? I just I love that a match can get me to pop that much when I can still, you know, even after a weekend like we had last weekend where we just had so much wrestling, we've viewed so much wrestling, sometimes you think you would get burned out on it.
00:26:49
Speaker
But any time that I think like, I don't know if I'm ready to watch this, this is probably going to be long. The second it's on, I'm right back in, man. Like in this match was just one of those that that sucked me in and got me having so much fun watching wrestling by myself. There are certainly it's true.
00:27:08
Speaker
Specifically, we watch a lot of wrestling already. We watch even more wrestling because of the nature of this podcast and all the content we try to consume. More on that later. It's fun when you, in the middle of a match, you fall in love with wrestling again. Do you know what I mean? Where you go, ah this is why I like this shit.
00:27:34
Speaker
Yeah, you hit a point and you realize, yeah, this is why I'm watching this. This makes me feel better. This always elicits a reaction from me. There have been times throughout the course of the last year and a half of us doing this podcast where I have sat down to watch something for the show. And when I sit down, I don't groan or anything, but when I sit down and I stretch and go, all right, let's do this. In my mind, because I'm psyching myself up,
00:28:02
Speaker
It's like clocking in a little bit. It's time to go to work. Let's do this thing where I watch wrestling, digest it, and then spew out whatever I gotta say. And there have been times where I have been desensitized to that process. And then some of the matches that we've watched, it's like after 10, 15 minutes in, I'm like, oh shit.
00:28:24
Speaker
They got me. They fucking got me. And that means that they're really fucking good at what they do. And I just want to take a moment and appreciate that. Like if you are listening to this podcast, if you are a fan of pro wrestling, you know what the fuck I'm talking about. If you've watched a lot of wrestling.
00:28:41
Speaker
They can still get you. And there's nothing better than getting sucked into a really good pro wrestling match.
Fan engagement and storytelling in wrestling
00:28:48
Speaker
And like you said, these two have such incredible chemistry. I mean, would you say this was better than their Wembley match? Or do you even I honestly I might have to rewatch it to even make that. Yeah, I would have to rewatch it. But it's that David Goliath shit to the to the 11th degree.
00:29:09
Speaker
Like what point in the match where you just completely sucked in?
00:29:15
Speaker
It's gonna be a really really fucking weird spot, but I don't think I've seen it before There was a point where Walter came off the fucking ropes and I think this is like like maybe 35 30 minutes in and fucking Tyler bait hits him with like a fucking elbow or something and It knocks Walter the fuck out But the way like bait hits the elbow and then collapses to the mat Walter falls on top of them. Yes
00:29:45
Speaker
And he's just kind of helpless underneath this giant man for a minute. Like I knocked him out but I can't get up to do anything about it. Like to me, like I hadn't seen that, I don't think I've seen that spot before. Just watching bait kick his legs and arms trying to get loose from under it. Like he's dead, let me up. And he's looking at the referee like help and I can't. I can't touch him dude. I thought there was a moment there, and again,
00:30:15
Speaker
How many, how often do you like, when this is a legit question to you, how often when you're watching a match, something happens and you like out loud, say, wow, I haven't seen that before.
00:30:29
Speaker
Like anymore, it gets harder and harder to say that so that when it does happen, it really is like a marker. Like you take notice of that and it makes it stand out. That's true. Kind of like of all the matches we saw over, you know, last weekend, there was just some shit in that lucha match that I've never seen in my entire life where they were stacked like three guys tall and then another one doing like a blockbuster to knock the whole tower down. You know, like, yeah, shit like that. Yeah.
00:30:59
Speaker
Well, that match was fantastic because it was just bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. We're hearing, we've heard back from, I think our friend, Jeffy wrestling there on the Twitters saying that he got around to watching two cups stuffed. I think he enjoyed it.
00:31:15
Speaker
I would say, I hope he would. I think he asked us, or I think he asked you how you enjoyed it and I don't know if you ever got back to him. That was me asking him what he thought and he didn't get back to me. I got a little taste of my own medicine. How's that feel, bitch?
00:31:30
Speaker
How does that fucking feel? I'll tell you this. If somebody chooses to not text me back or respond to me, I don't care because I don't respond to text myself. You're like turn abouts fair play. I get it. I've been there, too.
00:31:48
Speaker
Yeah, Tyler Bate and Walter, that's some good shit. I'm trying to think, there were a couple spots in that thing that just made me shriek. I think one of the first ones that got me, when Walter gave Bate that power bomb on the apron, that looked nasty. Little did I know 30 seconds later, he would power bomb him into the ring post.
00:32:17
Speaker
Yeah. That one was fucked up to me. That one looked, it was a little more than like, it didn't quite look like, you know, Seth Rollins given that buckle bomb. It looked more like he was in the motion of giving that dude a power bomb, but he connected with the fucking pole. Yeah, that was gross. It was fucking gross. But in a good way. And you know, that was probably only 10 minutes into the match.
00:32:44
Speaker
It's true, it was pretty early in the night. It's professional wrestling, Garrett. And like I said, they gotta occasionally do some stuff you've never seen before just to get you sucked in. And they sold that for a while on the outside, didn't they? Oh, I liked the part of that where the referee was on the ground
00:33:01
Speaker
trying to help him and then Walter basically made the referee get back in the ring and then a doctor came over to bait and Walter is screaming at the referee to start counting and Walter is correct it doesn't matter if that guy's hurt it's true it's the match you're you're making this last a half hour longer
00:33:20
Speaker
What match was it at all out where I turned to you and we started having a conversation about the, like, was it, was it the Cody Rhodes, uh, Sean Spears match where we were having a conversation about why the ref sometimes starts counting a guy out and other times is like, hold on, let me check. Give him, give him some time. He's got to collect himself. You need to be a little more on top of your shit.
00:33:48
Speaker
I mean, we understand that shoddy officiating is part of the game in this industry. I'm just saying sometimes it's way more noticeable and I don't get it. But see, the character we need is a no nonsense referee that follows all of the rules really strictly and most wrestling matches just end because he sees everything.
00:34:12
Speaker
so a guy gets tossed out of the ring as soon as he's between the top and middle rope like as soon as his body exits that area he's one two like and he's counting seconds oh yeah he's there there isn't actual second mississippi two no this is one no two three
00:34:35
Speaker
I'm the guy on the outside just like shit and has to like run back in and this looks after him. What the fuck? He's like, I'm just the rule book man says a 10 count. Doesn't say how long 10 count has to be. I like it. There's a referee that they're like, oh, you're in the ring with John. This match probably won't go over five minutes because let's face it. Wrestling's a really hard sport to follow the rules in.
00:35:00
Speaker
It'd be really funny if there was no such thing in John the referee's, like he doesn't know what a false finish is. Like basically if his hand is on the way down for three, if it gets close enough.
00:35:11
Speaker
Like he's going to let momentum carry that thing to the mat and that match is over. He's like, I don't know what you want from me. Gravity pulled my hand down to the mat. You lost. But after a vertical suplex, sir, speaking of that. So that's one of the things about the bait Walter match.
00:35:32
Speaker
A lot of the spots that Walter ends up taking are pretty basic suplexes, but he has to sell them like they're devastating, but he has had so much less of that happening to him throughout than bait has to him.
What keeps wrestling exciting?
00:35:47
Speaker
Well, I mean, the thrill of that is that a smaller guy is picking up a big guy, right?
00:35:54
Speaker
I know, but I... Oh, shit! At that point, I feel like Walter should be able to just pop back up, though, because he hasn't had 50 of them yet. He's not used to getting tossed around, though, either. That getting dumped on his head. That exploder from the ring apron to the floor got me to pop out... I basically jumped out of the car. He had another... Lee again! What the fuck? I just...
00:36:19
Speaker
And I'm rolling down the fucking interstate as she's driving away. And she's thinking, I can't wait to get you home so you can do this podcast shit and get it out of your system.
00:36:30
Speaker
Yeah, that was nice of me to not tell her anything about it. And, you know, I've told you this before. So my wife and I work at the same job. I'm talking to the audience now, Derek, not you. You know this. Okay, I get it. And she recently got a different position at work. We didn't have to sit near each other. We are now officially sitting back to back.
00:36:53
Speaker
Network and I'll add a little terrifying. I'm terrified because I don't want it to end in divorce I think the thing that keeps us going is her not having to deal with me Looking up something on the internet turning and saying shit. This new Joker trailer is awesome And she doesn't need to hear that she doesn't care But now she's gonna have to hear that because she's an ear shot and I can't help myself
00:37:17
Speaker
you're saying the key to a good relationship with you is not being around you all the fucking time. Yes, yeah. I 100% agree, Leah. I think small dosages, roughly one hour a week, does wonders. And let's face it, you and I see each other maybe four times a year.
00:37:47
Speaker
Maybe. I think last year we saw each other a lot. And this year we will have seen each other maybe twice. But I will be seeing you here like a little over a month, a month and a half. So is Survivor Series is in a month and a half? It's in mid-November, I believe. Okay, so what pay-per-view is in October then?
00:38:08
Speaker
Hell in a Cell baby. Hell in a Cell. So we're gonna get Hell in a Cell and then honestly I am still really holding out hope for Survivor Series being good this year. The possibilities are so huge with what they could do with NXT being on USA now. Well you would think...
00:38:29
Speaker
you would think with Smackdown moving over to Fox and then reestablishing the brand split and having specific rosters for each show, that they would do something really fun and something great for Survivor Series. So I remain hopeful. Plus, like we said earlier, NXT is going to be on USA. They may have a really important role at Survivor Series as well.
00:38:56
Speaker
God, I hope they do.
Personal stories with wrestling events
00:38:58
Speaker
I mean, even if it takeover, I wish they gave the NXT guys their own Survivor Series type match and give us like NXT UK versus NXT. I mean, just- That would be pretty cool. God, they have so many people on both rosters that if you just took my top five favorite people out of UK and had them go against pretty much fucking anybody from NXT, that would be a hot match.
00:39:26
Speaker
Garrett, do you have anything else from Cardiff that you wanted to talk about? I skipped a lot of that pay-per-view, I'm not gonna lie. I hear the tag match is really good. I know Meltzer gave the tag match 4.5 stars. I am just having such a hard time getting motivated to watch these matches. The opener when Noam Dar came out, I was like, it sucks that 205 Live
00:39:55
Speaker
Even though it's great, has a thing in my mind where I think I don't need to watch it. Like you feel like it's just extra, like it's bonus features? It's just, yeah, it's the bonus zone, you know? It's always gonna get less viewers than the regular episode. That's a little peek behind the curtain.
00:40:18
Speaker
But when I saw him coming out and they announced Travis Banks is the guy who was going up against, I thought, oh, shit, here we go. Yeah, I'll watch this. I love Travis Banks. Then the next was Cesario Dragunov. And then immediately the next match was that tag match. Maybe my least favorite wrestler from the Indies that has made it to WWE is Mark Andrews. Hate Mark Andrews. I don't know if we talked about this on here or is that something I've kept to myself?
00:40:45
Speaker
Well, let it all out, man. I hate him. I fucking hate him. Why? And it all stems from this one moment at PWG.
00:40:55
Speaker
He came out and he had on a dumb baseball cap and he was in the ring with Justin, who was the heel referee at PWG. Everyone hates Justin. He got booed and yelled that he's a piece of shit every single time he walked to the ring. Mark Andrews comes out to his pop punk music dancing. He took his hat off and put it on Justin. And that created the biggest response of booze.
00:41:23
Speaker
For some reason, the entire crowd collectively hated him putting that hat on the referee. And for some reason after that, just every time I saw him, I just couldn't give a shit. To me, he is a version of Will Ospreay I don't wanna watch. That's really funny. Like you got worked.
00:41:43
Speaker
I got, yeah, and what's funny is a hat on Justin one time equals five years later, I still hate you and you're on WFD. Why can't I get over that? Why is that one moment stuck in my head and I just can't get past Mark Andrews?
Hellboy's wrestling adventure
00:42:02
Speaker
Can I tell you about something that I'm never going to be able to get over? Yes.
00:42:08
Speaker
You spoke of Dave Meltzer a couple minutes ago. Let me bring Dave Meltzer back into the fold, because I want to get him to give a ranking to this match I watched just before we came in and recorded this episode. I can't wait. Garrett, I watched an All Japan Pro Wrestling match. What the fuck? I'm excited. What did you watch? Garrett, I watched
00:42:38
Speaker
You know who I'm talking about here. I watched Hellboy make his pro wrestling debut for All Japan Pro Wrestling. Wait, Ron Perlman? I'm telling you, Hellboy. The Hellboy.
00:42:55
Speaker
We're talking about the comic book character. Yes. There is a match in a six man tag match for all Japan Pro Wrestling on September 3rd, 2019. And Karukian Hall, I believe. What? What? Garrett. Hellboy. I'm trying to do it in my Jerry Lawler voice. Hell fucking boy. The man with the giant fist. The baby from hell.
00:43:27
Speaker
He wrestled. He had a pro wrestling match. Garrett, it was one of the worst fucking things I have ever seen in professional wrestling. One of the worst. No exaggeration. I wanna hear Meltzer give this some stars or negative stars or whatever the fuck his whole shtick is where he pretends he's the voice of the community, which he's not. We are. Hellboy.
00:43:55
Speaker
All Japan Pro Wrestling, look that shit up on YouTube if you haven't already. I just pulled up a photograph. Where did you? How the fuck did I not hear about this? Like, I am looking at a picture right now and this straight up looks like Hellboy from the new movie.
00:44:16
Speaker
It's not David Harbour. Well, I'm not Ron Pearlman. It's Hellboy. And he wrestles in all Japan now. He's even got his fucking gun. He's got his fucking gun. Let me tell you, I don't want to spoil everything because it's it's so bad you need to watch because every time you get a little bit excited about what he's capable of, two seconds later, he disappoints you with what he's definitely not capable of.
00:44:43
Speaker
Dude, I just watched a 5 second video of him jumping off the second rope and giving a splash. Dude, this is awful. He's not painted red, he's got on a suit so when he bends his arms it gets all bunched up and shit. It's crinkly.
00:45:06
Speaker
What now? Let's be clear the face in the face. It's a quality hellboy Like it's I mean if you saw that like a comic-con Something like that. You'd be that's a good hellboy. Good job. Good job showing up ready to party that costume overall though sucks
00:45:25
Speaker
You know, remember Hulk hands that they used to sell as a toy? You can put your fist in, it looks a little foamy, squishy. That's what it looks like the body is made out of on this Hellboy. It's Hellboy, I don't know who it is. I don't know if they could have picked the worst person to be in that suit. You would think if they were gonna bother to do this, they would go get the actors who did the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles so that they could be mobile while wearing a giant suit.
00:45:52
Speaker
Nah, it looked like they pulled a fucking drunken bum off the street because the big fucking spot that they kept trying to do in this match is Hellboy would swing his fist and people would try to avoid him swinging his fist and he wouldn't be close. And I can tell you, I almost lost my shit entirely. Lost my sanity.
00:46:14
Speaker
He's on the ring apron waiting for a tag. When he gets the tag and goes to get in the ring, he lifts his leg up to go over the middle rope to go in the ring and his foot doesn't quite clear the second rope and he has to readjust and try again.
00:46:31
Speaker
See, that's some Hellboy humor though. Guillermo del Toro would have given us that. I mean, his finisher is the clothesline from Hell in this match. If you watch it, he hits the clothesline from Hell and then pins him with his giant fist. I am watching a gif of this right now as you described it. And honestly, you were pretty generous with describing it as a clothesline from Hell.
00:46:58
Speaker
I'm not saying it's... First of all, it has nothing to do with it being generous. He's Hellboy. It is a clothesline. It was a clothesline from Hell. This is a clothesline from shit.
00:47:13
Speaker
Sorry, sorry actually just thinking of that made me think of I saw kikitaro wrestle once and I don't know if this is a I haven't seen him a lot of time So I don't know if this is a move that he does frequently But I was so delighted when he picked up I think he was fighting Chuck Taylor and he went to give him a GTS, but he was gonna get
00:47:33
Speaker
He was basically giving it to him to his ass and he shouted go to shit before he came, before he hit him with a GTS to the ass. So did you see this on Twitter? How the fuck did you? I want you to know that a few days back while scrolling across my Twitter feed, I saw Hellboy Makes Pro Wrestling debut as a headline and I out loud could not stop myself from saying these words.
00:48:05
Speaker
And then I followed the link. And I found clips. And I knew I had to watch this before we did the podcast. I wanted it to be fresh in my mind. It's must watch shit. Do you remember when it went for Halloween? Last year we reviewed that quadruple tiered cage match with Hogan and Macho. One of my favorite matches of all time.
00:48:32
Speaker
Yeah, this, like, just fucking dog shit that you need to check out. That's so funny. Like, looking at this, he really does. Whoever did this makeup nailed the David Harbour Hellboy makeup.
00:48:45
Speaker
And that movie actually starts. I don't think I told this story. I went to go see that movie and I maybe made it 40 minutes in before I walked on that one. But it does open with Hellboy fighting a luchador that turns into a monster and the entire opening fight is in a wrestling ring.
00:49:05
Speaker
Well I'm sure that was the inspiration for this happening. Clearly they weren't able to get David Harbour to show up to do this. Yet somebody saw the beginning of that movie and then ran away before watching any other scene to see if maybe this wasn't worth doing. I think he comes to the ring to Def Leppard too. Through the crowd. The idea of Hellboy the character being a wrestler is wonderful.
00:49:32
Speaker
The execution, not so much. Well, we'll see. This match proves that not everything that happens in Japan is good wrestling. Well, and once again, this was his debut, Derek. You can't expect Hellboy to be the best wrestler you've ever seen on his first match. Give the guy five years. I mean, even MJF took three years before he got signed.
00:49:52
Speaker
What you're saying is that NXT needs to sign Hellboy immediately. I'm seeing him down to the Performance Center. No, I'm not saying NXT. I'm saying this is a perfect opportunity for Ring of Honor or Impact.
00:50:07
Speaker
if they wanna go the way of WCW who brought in RoboCop and Chucky. Note, he started in all Japan, not New Japan. Does that, does him starting in all Japan give you a little modicum of respect? It does, it means that he's like, he's doing the David Arquette thing. He's really working his way up from the end. You couldn't finish it without cracking.
Wrapping up and listener interaction
00:50:36
Speaker
Garrett, we're not gonna be able to top that. Oh, fuck. Man, now I'm just like Hellboy versus David Arquette, main event, Spring Break 5 or 4, whatever number we're on. That's what we need this year. Hellboy versus Walter versus Roman Reigns. Yes! Yes! Oh, fuck. Should we plug our social media and get the fuck out of here?
00:51:06
Speaker
Yeah, I actually have to go watch a Spanish language horror film, and tonight's my only night to see it, so everybody's like, wait, you're cutting us nine minutes short because you're gonna go watch a movie? Unfortunately, this week it does happen that way. We basically gave him two hours last week though, so I think we're good.
00:51:25
Speaker
All right, well, hey, thanks for listening. Check us out on the social medias. We're at Predetermined Podcast on Instagram. We're at Wrestle Hangout on Facebook and Twitter. I am at Gartet on social media. Derek is at Halloween helping. Leave us a five star review on iTunes. If you leave us a five star review, tell us whatever you want us to watch. We will watch it and give you a review or just kind of make fun of it as we go.
00:51:49
Speaker
And also, Derek, you put up a poll this week and ask people if we were more Beavis and Butt-Head or Wayne's World. And let's face it, I don't know if either of those answers is a compliment.
00:52:01
Speaker
I don't know if
00:52:20
Speaker
For real though, why do y'all listen to this show? Like, what is this show to you? Who are we? What do we do? Are we just Garrett and Derek? What is this show? Seriously, if you want to get extra credit from Garrett and I, email us predeterminedpodcast at gmail.com. Tell us not only why you listen to the show and what you like about the show, but also tell us what you think about that Hellboy match.
00:52:42
Speaker
because we could probably drag that out for two or three more episodes if we really needed to. We have a four-part episode on what I can assume was maybe 10 minutes long. It's like, yes. Yes, I think that's generous, too. Jesus Christ. Get us out of here, dude. All right, everybody. Thank you for listening. We will be back next week. We are, what? How many episodes away from episode 100 are we? This is a big deal.
00:53:07
Speaker
We're approaching the final 10. Do you think maybe around episode 100, I could stop having to intro you like that? Maybe episode 100 will be the last time we do this format. Episode 100 is the last time we ever bring up pro wrestling.
00:53:30
Speaker
Actually, episode one, after episode 100, we switch what we talk about and we see what the downloads look like and see how long people hang on. That would be interesting to just never bring it up and see who's, uh, you know what? This is, I don't know. Maybe we shouldn't do that. We had a lot of new listeners this week after the all out episode. Anytime we go to a big show, we always bring in a bunch of new listeners. So, uh, Hey, welcome. It is always this stupid.
00:53:58
Speaker
Sometimes it's this stupid. There's plenty of white claws. Not usually this much Hellboy. And we're hoping you'll be back next week to listen to another episode. We love you to death. Thanks for giving us your time. We'll be here to hang out with you next week. Have a good week. And I don't know. This is this. This is an outro is going too long. How do I end this? They can say it along with us. Hit our God damn music.