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Ep317 - Best Pod Ever Recorded
19 Plays2 years ago
jj
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Transcript
Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:00:03
Speaker
Welcome to the chopping block guillotine league podcast made for you Guys Not sure if anyone's listening to this so I Said this last time but if you're listening like just say I listen to the podcast JJ's been waiting all fucking season texting me every week
00:00:27
Speaker
What's the payout? When's my pod? Can't wait for the pod. How much is my payout? And he's finally on and he's going to be sad if you're not listening. So please stay tuned. I'm here with Spencer. I'm here with JJ. What's up, guys? Hi. I thought JJ was going to go. What's up?
JJ's Podcast Introduction Discontent
00:00:50
Speaker
I feel disrespected that I didn't get the normal chopping block intro.
00:00:58
Speaker
What do you mean? What's the intro? That's the intro. I do what I want. That's the intro. The intro is like the music? Yeah. He does that after. That's in post, bro. You don't do that on the call right now. I want to hear it. We're up to the mic, Joel.
00:01:26
Speaker
I feel way better. You're in it now? I'm ready now. All right, cool. He's ready. Here's our 17th loser, JJ. Yes. First, I guess you can't say first loser in this league. 17th loser. But that's me. That's pretty cool. Good job. That's pretty cool. This is a podcast of second placers.
00:02:00
Speaker
I was the first, you guys all suck. I'm the second, second place. So that's, that's the best. Uh,
JJ's Performance Reflections in the League
00:02:10
Speaker
JJ, how are you feeling?
00:02:13
Speaker
I have a lot of thoughts about Guillotine. But overall, I'm not incredibly disappointed going into this week. I was completely content with losing. Obviously would have loved to win. But first of all, 110 bucks. That's fucking awesome.
00:02:38
Speaker
uh second of all i think just making it this far is super cool that's it went straight it's already gone it's already gone um we lost it um but um also i i just in the beginning of the season i had so many close calls i remember um thinking maybe after week two like okay like
00:03:04
Speaker
Mitch's pitch and Garrett's pitch and Eli's pitch all sucked nuts. So like, what's the best pitch so that I can get re-voted back into this league if I get out? And that like in the beginning, that was my mindset. I never thought I'd make it this far. But just some quick stats that I looked back at real quick. In week four, I was in the bottom three with an eight point differential from getting eliminated. Week five, I was in the bottom three with an 11 point differential of getting eliminated.
00:03:32
Speaker
Week seven, I was the third worst team in the double elimination week. So I've made it by four points. Week eight, I was bottom two with a 13 point differential. And week nine, which I believe was usual, I was also bottom two with the 19 point differential, thanks to the infamous Jimmy Garoppolo. So five weeks where I was in the bottom three, probably more if you like
00:03:58
Speaker
Factored in later weeks, but I didn't really once once this team started getting low I didn't really count that but There was a stretch there was like I'm going home and my average is gonna suck But here we are and we made the second and I believe I have a top three average in the week. So
Cam's Skills and Humor on League Management
00:04:14
Speaker
That's pretty cool. Holy top three. I Well, you're the best I gotta confirm that hold on props. Yeah, I'm the best to you big expense I you know it's incredible to be a
00:04:28
Speaker
the fourth, to be fourth place this year and for that to hurt your average. That is, that's props to you and your, I don't really like. I'm the 49ers of this league, man. We just, we get it done every year. Great team. We just, we can't, when I say get it done, we may go to the playoffs. We just can't, can't close it out, you know? That is an accurate comparison, I guess. But, but I think, I think my average is up there.
00:04:59
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, you are third, I can confirm. And you might be second pretty soon here. I'm not sure if Cam's gonna be back next year. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. On that note, I actually, you know, if I were to do a quick, I'm not gonna go through the entire list, but if I already do a quick rankings of like guillotine managers,
00:05:26
Speaker
I would give Cam the nod for best guillotine manager. It's a shame that there's a stick so far up his butt that he didn't want to do another pod this year for getting eliminated. Yes, I understand he's hanging out with Kangaroos, but I do think that he is the best guillotine manager. And having a chip plays a role in that, but he's done well.
00:05:54
Speaker
He's got to stick up his butt and your wiener up his butt. He does not, uh, he does not have my wiener up his butt. I, that is not, that is not factual. That sounds like it. Taking that offensive. You spelled Cam the best manager. No, I was taking that personally.
00:06:16
Speaker
Will continue a list of our top five and Joel you will not be in it. Oh Let me guess. Let me guess well The list is easy the list is easy is Matt number two Are you gonna ride that is not up? That is not there. That's not even on the list Okay, I mean there was some meat riding to start so I didn't know if it's gonna continue. I
00:06:42
Speaker
You know, there might be, but it's not with Matt. Listen, listen, I love Matt, but there's been enough meeting of Matt's meat in this league already. I mean, I had to listen to four straight weeks of just riding on Matt's meat, riding on Matt's meat. No more, no more.
00:07:07
Speaker
It's not a hot take that that cam is Is up there? I think if I remember didn't he like get eliminated because he like forgot to like do something like said like no, he started like a Potato over an obvious obvious start or something. He got too cheeky. I think yeah. Yeah And he's still gotten in the money. I
00:07:32
Speaker
He got fifth place. Should we send him this money? I send him money. I send him money, yeah. Do they appear on the podcast?
00:07:42
Speaker
Do they take, uh, dollars in Australia? Uh, yeah, they take USD. No, they take USD too. It's pro he probably, he blokey profited just cause of like exchange exchange, right? Oh, JJ, if you took your one 10 to Australia, you could put 200 on black.
00:08:08
Speaker
I'd actually be going, it'd be on red. It would be on red, but it's too late because it's gone. Okay. Is it actually gone? The money's gone. I paid you like yesterday. I can attest it's gone. One USD is equivalent of 1.48 Aussie dollar. Totally.
00:08:38
Speaker
Holy. Uh, anyways, sorry to cut you off, JJ. So Cam's the best. You have a list. Yes.
00:08:45
Speaker
I don't have a solid list, but giving the winners their props, I would organize the winners probably in the years that they've won. So I'd put Cam at one, I'd put Tyler at two, and I'd put Fitz at three. I honestly think that Cam wins this league if he survived and
JJ's Unexpected Journey to the Finals
00:09:05
Speaker
if Fitz got eliminated. I can't remember who was the second lowest the week Cam got eliminated, but with Cam having the most money, I think he would have won if he didn't lose that week.
00:09:15
Speaker
Um, yeah And then uh, the the best non-winner is spencer. Uh, and then there's me and then there's me so Pretty good pretty good jj Second place club welcome. It's an elite group really Thank you. Thank you What else? What are the notes you got? I feel like you got a google doc
00:09:43
Speaker
I do have a Google Doc. Let me pull it up. You came prepared. I know. I came prepared because I've been waiting to be on the podcast since week one. It's just sad. No one's going to listen. No one's going to listen. If there's someone that's listening, I'm going to go ahead and guess that it's Josh Eccles. I think he's been a great participant. I'm very glad that he's been in the Guillotine League this year. But my opening statement.
00:10:13
Speaker
is that I was never meant to win this league. My draft was actually terrible. And on top of that, I don't even think I made any amazing waiver moves. I just, all it took was not being last every week. And so my first pick was Kelsey followed by Metcalf. After that, my next three picks were Aaron Jones, Mike Williams, and Dalvin Cook.
00:10:36
Speaker
which are not great but following that with my 6th 7th and 8th pick I had Dak Adam Thelen which might not sound like a great pick but in the beginning he might have been one of the main reasons that survived
00:10:53
Speaker
And then with the eighth round, and this is heavily significant considering this was an 18-man draft. In the eighth round, I got Raheem Mostert, which was incredibly pivotal to my survival. So I didn't have a good draft. In terms of waivers, I spent $500 on Jamar Chase. I spent $350 on Justin Herbert, and that was terrible.
00:11:17
Speaker
Both Spencer and I waved for quarterbacks in the same weekend. Yeah. It was brutal. And then Dak ended up doing okay, so I ended up starting him again. And so the moral of the story that I have to say is that I was never meant to win this league. It kind of just worked in my favor to make it this far. The goal of Guillotine is to not be last. And that's what we did up until the very end. So, yeah.
00:11:48
Speaker
Yeah, that is the key. You could suck the entire season and somehow do what you did. Exactly. All right. What else you got on the dock?
00:12:06
Speaker
That's really it. I did crunch the numbers on if I could have beaten Fitz with a perfect lineup. And the obvious answer is yes, because there's so many fucking players on the waivers. I think the best possible lineup that I personally could have come up with, which is any player that Fitz didn't have, is around 200 points. So could have done it. But that would mean I'd be starting scrubs like Jaden Reed and Juwan Johnson. So chances of that happening were not incredibly high.
00:12:37
Speaker
Um, but you know, Fitz did have the two best running backs on the week. Uh, and I think the two best wide receivers on his team, I don't know if he started one of them, uh, but he had four out of the five best scoring players on the week, I think. So, um, the odds were against me, but you know, there was, there was a little bit of hope, but still not incredibly just bummed, not incredibly disappointed.
00:13:06
Speaker
Yeah. Um, let's see here. What else we talk about your thoughts on a league expansion, JJ? Uh, no, I'm not for it. Why soft. Um,
Debate on League Expansion and Dynamics
00:13:23
Speaker
I think that 18 is a fairly large number as it is. Um, I think that there's enough chaos as it is. Um,
00:13:33
Speaker
And I just know that I would probably get fucked by being the second lowest score, not the lowest score in a week, if that were the direction that we would go. So I'm not personally not for an expansion. I don't know if we have a wait list for this fucking thing. Do we? Do we have like people? We got a wait list. We got a wait list. We got a little wait list. Huge wait list. We got a wait list. Huge. It's huge. Shit.
00:14:02
Speaker
Damn. I know a couple. That's the case. I don't like seven. Holy shit. Maybe 10 10. Oh, yeah. Where are they from? Every day. They are they do they reside in a northern or southern California? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
00:14:23
Speaker
Fuck this is huge then get the Australians out of here. Yeah John Curtin you can go back to the mainland Yeah, honestly
00:14:41
Speaker
I don't know what it's gonna be like this year. I doubt many of the SoCal guys are listening. Probably just Josh. But I don't know if some of these SoCal guys are gonna be back next year. What? They're just done? I don't know. There seemed to be very low buy-in. All-time low buy-in from some of our SoCal mates. I mean, they were very middle of the pack this year.
00:15:07
Speaker
Yeah, I know. People didn't want to be on the pot. You can't, if you can't be on the pot, I mean, come on. I mean, beans might've quit like the entire league. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Beans might, they might choose to not come back to. So, uh, we might have some openings. It may no longer be a SoCal versus NorCal type of deal. Maybe just be a conglomerate of Calis.
00:15:35
Speaker
They just, they really, they really, really were upset that Northern California won this year. Or weren't they? They were upset that they dropped the ball after two straight Northern California eliminations to begin the year. And there's two NorCal people to finish the year. They were upset about that.
00:15:54
Speaker
so they had to rely on rookie guillotine member josh echols to hold down the fort for them and respect to josh echols but he did not prevail and then they lost it they've lost their shit
00:16:13
Speaker
you're in so casual you need to rally the troops uh well knock on some doors knock on some doors yeah shake some hands kiss some babies kiss some babies yeah yeah get in there rally some meat if you have to
00:16:30
Speaker
That's right. Write some meat. I don't know. I mean, it's not a good sign when you're the SoCal leader says, I don't want to do the pod. I'm good. No, thanks. Call Matt out. Downhill. Did we scare Matt? Like after he met us in person, did we scare him? No. Well, maybe you scared him.
00:16:55
Speaker
Me? No. What did I do to Matt? Dil probably scared him. I think he took him to a strip club or something. No, it was just the nightclub. Different. I remember the fake club that Dil tried to get to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Matt was down. Matt was like, he's ready to get his lesson. He's ready to get his lesson? Yeah. I can also confirm that Matt is a good dancer.
00:17:28
Speaker
Matt is a good dancer. Yeah, he, uh, that's good. I was wondering about the moves. Yeah. So JJ, you say no on a league expansion. Keep the 18. I'm saying, I'm saying no on a, on an expansion. Um, especially if all these SoCal homies are, are not joining back and they're not excited. I feel like we should keep it at 18. Just keep the wait list going.
00:17:56
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I feel ya. Yeah. There's, there's something to having 18 homies that are excited. I don't want to force anybody in a league. That's her. Yeah. Uh, how do you feel about the twists? You got any twist ideas?
00:18:17
Speaker
Um, I don't have any twist ideas. Um, I, I'm not, I actually have not opposed to what we did this year, but I didn't think it was the worst thing in the world. This might be the first time you're actually hearing that you were, you were booed by 16 other people, but, um, I, I, I am indifferent to it. If it went away, I wouldn't give a shit. If it stayed, I also wouldn't give a shit. Good to know. Yeah, it probably won't, it won't be bad.
00:18:47
Speaker
Okay. That's fancy. Sorry being disappointed. It won't be back. It's not gonna be back. Well, uh, you know, we'll have to, I'll have to find a theme next season. This season was high stakes. Stakes are higher than ever before. Higher buy-ins. A theme. Yeah.
00:19:09
Speaker
I don't think there's probably a theme this year. Yeah. 50% of the people I bet didn't read the long ass message that like wouldn't send over text because it was too long. I mean, I read it like if JJ's mom, I think. No, dude, especially your vacuuming, bro. No, I turned it on for a second. I'm not actually vacuuming. I just saw it. I picked it up. I'm gonna get some chores done. No, I'm not vacuuming. I literally just clicked a button on accident.
00:19:42
Speaker
His internal thoughts want to be like, fuck, I gotta press the trigger on this fucking vacuum. Yeah, that's literally what it is. I was just looking at it. I also lit a candle. I just was just like, I gotta do something. Yeah, I heard you like eating Pringles or something. Oh,
Casual Banter and Personal Stories
00:20:02
Speaker
you could hear that. I was eating a freeze from Taco Bell. It was in my freezer. I said, this is gonna be my dessert. Tastes delicious.
00:20:11
Speaker
I didn't think you could hear it. I heard a little. You know, a little slipper derp. Yeah, a little slipper derp. I'm out of I'm out of podcast questions. I've been I've been doing this to old. You're too old. Too old. You're the youngest fucker here. I'm like, no, I'm like Santa Claus and elf when he's like, I'm getting too old for this job.
00:20:42
Speaker
Oh yeah, when the Central Park police are chasing him. Yeah. Mm hmm. Rangers, Rangers. Sorry. My bad. The creator, John Favreau of Elf. Yeah. Oh, you got any questions? JJ, you got anything to say? No, I can't wait for our next pod with Fitz. It's going to be even better. This is going to go even more. Can we cancel it?
00:21:10
Speaker
We can make it five minutes. Can we cancel it? Can we just get him in here right now with JJ? No, my boy. Hey, I am. I am excited. That fits one. Yeah. So get him in. You can hype it up.
00:21:23
Speaker
Fitz, Fitz already eliminated me in another league of playoffs, so was ready for, um, to take it up the butt another time from Fitz. Um, but yeah, I, you know, I, it's one thing if you were to lose to someone from SoCal, but I lost to my buddy. So it's, it's all good. Um, I texted him midweek said, Hey man, this is going to be fun. He said, you're fucked. And I said, I know.
00:21:56
Speaker
You could ask them on the pot but But yeah, it was it was a great year of getting this is my second time on the podium and All
00:22:20
Speaker
All eventually I'll win because people that also finish in 14th have a history of winning I don't know if you saw that in the stats some I paid attention to because I was really bored and like Tyler or something Yeah, Tyler got in 14th last year No, sorry, he got 14th this year. I'm never gonna win then You're not gonna unless you take 14th next year. There's a high chance you don't win. I know I agree. I
00:22:48
Speaker
Honestly, it's kind of wild going like in the middle because you're like, shit, I made it like nine weeks and I'm still like a shitter, a shitter. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of crazy. In terms of the average or just like your placement? Oh, just in general. Yeah. Like, Oh, cause I mean the, the averages, I felt like it was the same as like my grades in school, like,
00:23:15
Speaker
Even at five, I was like, Oh fuck, I need to get first for my average to be really good. It's the same as like when I chunk it on a test and I've got to see in a class. I'm like, fuck, I got to get a 99 just to have a B average. Like this is terrible. Do they give grades in dental school? Oh yeah.
00:23:32
Speaker
Yeah, they totally do. If anyone happens to be listening 23 minutes and 30 seconds into this podcast, I would just like to advertise for myself, if you need a root canal, if you need a dental cleaning, and you have some tolerance to pain, I'm your guy.
00:23:57
Speaker
Um, come on down to Northern California. Um, and, and I'll hook it up. You'll see in, yeah, at my office, you'll see second place in guillotine, uh, third place once before best dentist around. So, um, yeah, right. So Cal guys make your way up. Long sign.
00:24:22
Speaker
Yeah, the font is a little you might not be able to read it when you're driving but if you parked in the same lot You'd be okay. Well, it's on the outside. Damn Yes. Yes. Yeah, it costs a lot of money That's where the 110 went No, the 110 went during blackjack. It was Yeah Ronald McDonald Ronald McDonald took my money real quick. I
00:24:48
Speaker
Oh no, uh fits Is busy I think so Might be a one-on-one podcast rule Make it Why you tired you're trying to play some video games I gotta walk the dog I gotta go to bed
00:25:16
Speaker
He said like a 30 it's like a 20 right now That's like in 10 fucking minutes You know they're fine He also has notification silenced. He said I had some shit come up. I don't know fuck. It's canceled It's canceled at 200 that $200 might be gone
00:25:42
Speaker
No worries we can do it on a later date Just have him send in like a victory just like hype and we'll just put that in Yeah, yeah All right, um
00:26:05
Speaker
this is lowkey just like chad and but we're recording you know what i i one of the reasons i'm bummed that i was you know i i have mostly reason to celebrate but obviously i wanted my emoji to pick you know um
00:26:20
Speaker
And we all know what emoji I would pick. It would be, uh, the rice bowl because, because, um, you know, as, as this guillotines, uh, get this guillotines league soul, uh, Asian representative, um, and, uh, as an advocate to stop Asian hate, I feel like we need to put the rice emoji bowl. When was the last time you experienced Asian hate? Um,
00:26:48
Speaker
You know, probably recently at the dental office, they said, can you even see what you're doing? And I said, yes. Who asked you that? A patient. No way. I shouldn't laugh. Why did they ask you that? Well, you know, this individual,
00:27:16
Speaker
probably was somebody that didn't realize that I was Asian. So I took it offensively and I said, yes, I can see. Please don't speak to me like that or else I will take out all your teeth. Oh, act like I can't see. Poke you. Holy.
00:27:52
Speaker
So please send in a rice bowl emoji. Send it in. Or else I will assume that you are for Asian hate. And that's incredibly disappointing. That is disappointing. Yeah, I'd be disappointed. Whenever I play video games, I have the stop Asian hate manner on my character. So we need to stop that. You know, stop it. I really appreciate that. Good.
00:28:05
Speaker
uh yeah just take a change
00:28:24
Speaker
Cool. It was a great podcast. Thanks, JJ. Thank you guys for having me on the podcast. Thank you for letting me have the chance to, um, talk about, um, my rice bowl emoji and, um, ride a little bit of meat for 30 minutes. And sorry, you might not remember it was in the first five minutes of the podcast. Uh, but yeah, it was, it was a fun time. I made a little bit of money, got to have a little bit of fun at the Hawk.
00:28:55
Speaker
And I can't wait for next year so I can make it to the top five so I can make my way back to the hawk again Hey, listen, I can't believe that I actually You lost it before you even got it
00:29:25
Speaker
No, no just seeing you lost you lost it before you got it I It's gone. It's all I can say it's gone All right, I'm in this thing I'd see everyone