Transcript
Speaker: Hello and welcome to episode 79. Does your home run like a well -oiled machine as smoothly as you want it to? It's okay. Ours doesn't either. But we have spent many years working on refining our home so that everything runs as smoothly as possible for our huge families. So in this episode, we're going to teach you how to identify what's working and what's not. And then we're going to give you our favorite
Speaker: three tools to help you get your home running as smoothly as ours do. So we're gonna go through schedules, systems, and the power of routines. We're super excited to share this episode with you and we hope that your home is running smoothly, more smoothly, after listening to it.
Speaker: Hello and welcome to Outnumber the Podcast. I'm Bonnie. And I'm Audrey. We're experienced moms to a combined total of 18 children. Our mission is to help overwhelmed parents find peace in parenting and humor in the chaos. Come join us as we attempt uninterrupted conversation about parenting with joy and intention.
Speaker: Okay, and today we're excited to talk to you about home management part one. We probably could do part 99 in this series, right? Yeah, okay. So we have some awesome stuff to share with you, but first we wanted to share why we decided to start this home management series. And we'll be doing these like every once in a while, whatever, however long it takes.
Speaker: to get through our information that we want to share. So we got a DM from somebody on Instagram and they had a request. They said, could you offer advice for systems for staying on top of kids hygiene, especially lots of little ones? We have experience with this.
Speaker: Keeping toothbrushes and toothpaste from becoming a mixed up mess and making sure everybody gets their teeth brushed and baths every once in a while and so on. And then another thing she says, do you have a system like this or maybe it's something everybody else has a much better handle on. And then when we had just two or three baths and teeth brushing all this were very organized, systematic time of day. Now it's a little closer to a messy free for all teeth get brushed, but I'm not sure who's using who's toothbrush, et cetera.
Speaker: That sounds really familiar. So because we each have nine kids, we have tried and discarded and retried and revamped tons of home management systems. And we're so excited to share some of these with you today.
Speaker: Yes. And we're going to talk about pain points in a little bit, which are a really effective way of figuring out what needs to be fixed in your home. But so many problems that come up in the day -to -day running of a home and being a mom to a bunch of kids can be solved using a specific schedule or routine or system. And we're not here to tell you what exact one will work for you, but we're here to take you through the steps of creating the perfect one for you.
Speaker: We're going to walk you through the steps of setting up schedules, systems, and routines to get things started running smoothly and then keep them running smoothly. We're going to share examples of how we've failed and how we've succeeded. We've got lots of examples. That's right.
Speaker: So we are going to share our favorite tools for setting up these, you know, home management techniques and maintaining them. Overall, to manage a home, we've decided that there are four main tools, and these are schedules, routines, systems, like we already mentioned, and organization. Now, the last one, the organization is the one thing that we're not going to be talking about today because it can seriously fill, well, it has filled
Speaker: hundreds of thousands probably of books and blogs and everything else. So that's going to be for a time later on, but right now it's mostly kind of scheduling and getting a handle on time and jobs, that sort of a thing.
Speaker: I also want to share a little side note here that these tools that we share with you should make your life easier and not more complicated. Sometimes we get so excited to schedule stuff or create a routine or a program or something that solves all our problems and in the making of it, we make things harder than they should be. That's just a little caveat at the beginning. I always try to make things way harder than they need to be and then I scale way back and then I'm happy.
Speaker: same. So we're going to split this into five parts and try to keep it organized here for you. Did you ever notice we kind of try to organize our podcast bots too? As we've said before, Bonnie and I are list makers and organizations and schedules, but that could be a byproduct of having so many kids and running a well -managed home, right, Bonnie? Yeah, that's true.
Speaker: All right, so part one that we're going to talk about is pain points. So what our DM friend shared with us about on Instagram was a pain point for her this whole bedtime where getting the kids hygiene, taking care of their teeth, teeth, their teeth maintenance, brushing their baths and all that. So that's a pain point for her.
Speaker: And what is a pain point? A pain point is something that's not working and causing pain. Very easy to define, but sometimes, speaking personally for myself here, I just am so frustrated about the pain point that I don't take time to stop and identify it. So number one, just identify your pain point. What is your pain point? What is causing you frustration and what's not working? So just, first of all, identification.
Speaker: That's right. And I will say here that sometimes life gets so crazy, you're stressed out. And if someone were to ask you what's going wrong in your life, you just say everything. I'm so stressed out. Everything's falling apart. Nothing's working. But in reality, that's not true. There are probably specific things, probably less than five things that when they go wrong, it feels like everything is going wrong, right? And so when you sit down and very non -emotionally identify these, it can make you feel a whole lot better about your life.
Speaker: So instead of saying, oh, my whole life is falling apart, you realize, no, actually just the laundry is out of control, mealtime is out of control, and bedtime is out of control. And trust me, if any one of those things is out of control, that's enough to make it go crazy, right? So I just share that because it can really help add some clarity to a chaotic season of life, for sure. Yeah.
Speaker: Agreed. We also want to say that you should never be ashamed or judge yourself over these pain points. They happen to all of us, and as life changes and there are different seasons of life, different ones pop up, sometimes ones that you've dealt with over and over and over, sometimes new ones. So there's no shame or judgment at all about these, but identification is just the first step to fixing them, right? You can't fix anything that you are unaware of.
Speaker: So take some time first to identify maybe other strengths in those areas where you're weak and maybe some ideas you'd like to adopt. That's kind of what I do is I think, why does laundry drive me so crazy? I'm like, well, when I go to so -and -so's house, I've noticed that I don't see baskets of laundry everywhere. I wonder what she does. And just to kind of do a little bit of experiment or rather researching to figure out what's working for other people.
Speaker: Yes, and we're going to give you some tools how to fix these pain points a little later on in the episode. But first of all, we're going to give you each an example of a pain point that we were dealing with. And once we identified it, then it made it accessible for solving problem solving and using these tools on. But first of all, you know, you've got to stop. What does my husband always say? Stop cursing the darkness and turn on the light.
Speaker: I love that. He says that way too often. That's brilliant. Yeah. Okay. So an example of a pain point we had. So we have two bathrooms in our small house and one of them we use for showering. Everybody showers in that bathroom because the other bathroom is halfway. Anyway, everybody showers in one bathroom.
Speaker: And so everybody keeps all their supplies that they need for before and after they shower in that bathroom. Well, this is like a small half bath, although it's a full bath. It's almost half bath size. And so there isn't room for a big cabinet in there because
Speaker: besides this bathroom being small, we actually took space away from this bathroom. It backs up to the kitchen, and we didn't want the refrigerator sticking out into the kitchen, so we carved out some space and butted up the refrigerator back into some of the bathroom space, so making a small bathroom even smaller.
Speaker: So this bathroom is small and there's not room for like a big cabinet or anything in there for people to keep their stuff. So I had, imagine this, a tiny plant stand in this bathroom where the bottom two shelves on this plant stand were for towels, rolled up towels. And on the top, I had one basket sitting and everybody had all their supplies in this basket. Hairbrushes, toothbrushes.
Speaker: Q -tips, anything you needed in this one basket, it was a major pain point because you'd go to brush your teeth and you'd have to take the hair from the hair brushes out of your toothbrush first. We know that's pretty bad. So like, but there wasn't like, I kept butting up against this pain point. There's no solution here because it's so small we can't fit a cabinet. So finally I started identifying, okay, this is a major pain point. We need to fix this.
Speaker: So then I started researching, I think I just went to Pinterest and started researching cabinet with shallow depth. And I discovered little apothecary cabinets. Have you seen those like with nine little drawer organizers in them and they're real shallow? Yeah. Perfect solution. It's about, oh, I don't even know if it's 12 inches deep. It's very narrow, but everybody now has, well, the littlest kids share drawers, but everybody has their own drawer and nobody's hair is getting stuck in my toothbrush anymore.
Speaker: That was a major pain point and how I identified it and then finally solved it. Okay. I love that. I love that. And what's interesting is I know we all have examples of this and stupid stuff that we live with for years that we like every time we look at it, we're like, that's so dumb. This does not work, you know? But how often do we take the time to go, no, we're going to fix this. We're going to find a solution, right? So I'm glad you found one for yours.
Speaker: Okay, so my example of a pain point, it comes from laundry, big surprise, right? Always causing problems. And I don't have a problem getting dirty laundry to the laundry room or getting it washed and dried. I'm pretty good at that. Or even getting it pulled out and sorted. But I cannot stand baskets of clothes all over the house.
Speaker: And what was happening before is we would pull it out of the dryer, take it to somebody's room, and it would sit there until they were ready to put it away, right? Or until they had some time or until they ran out of clothes or whatever. And ideally, people would take their load, wash and dry it, and put it away immediately. But let's be real, this is not an ideal world. And a lot of my kids are not quite old enough to handle every step of laundry all the way through.
Speaker: So finally, what I decided was that my solution, the pain point was this clean laundry that was sitting around before people needed it or were ready to put it away. So we decided to install two shelves above my washer dryer. And we have an okay size laundry room. You can walk in it, but it's by no means massive. So this was really the only place we had. And we store six of those flat laundry baskets on top of those shelves. And when somebody puts something in the laundry and they're not there to put it away or they're whatever, not ready for it,
Speaker: Then I just pull it out and I put it in their basket above the washer and dryer. We don't have enough baskets for everyone, but we just organize them by room. So whoever shares a room, their laundry goes together. And it seems like such a silly solution, but it has been life -changing because there's never laundry on the floor in the laundry room anymore. It goes in, washes, dries, and immediately gets put up there. And when they don't have any clothes, then they know exactly where to come find it.
Speaker: That sounds like a genius way to solve the laundry all over the house problem. That is incredible. It sure makes me happy. That's for sure. Yeah. Yeah. So awesome. All right. So now that we've shared our pain points, we have a step number two that we're going to. And this is not a solution step. This is a caution step. So number two is simplify where possible.
Speaker: Do not overtax your brain with all the solutions and all the problems. Don't do it all at once. Don't try to solve every problem, every pain point that you've identified. And then another thing is lessen the number of decisions so that you have more energy for setting up and maintaining schedules and routines and systems.
Speaker: So if you cut down on the number of decisions, you decide just to tackle one problem at a time, you're going to have way more energy than if you're if you've got the entire list of pain points in front of you and you're saying, OK, so today I'm going to work on pain point X, Y and Z, and you're just going to burn out.
Speaker: It's not going to happen. So don't overtax your brain, simplify where possible. And also on your solutions, you need to simplify here. Do not spend hours on Pinterest coming up with the perfect solution. It doesn't have to be the perfect solution. And when we give you these next three tips, it doesn't have to be the perfect schedule, the perfect routine, or the perfect system. Just anything that helps solve your problem, right?
Speaker: Right. And as we'll get into a little bit more later, we're slowly learning that the simpler, the better because first of all, it's easier to come up with and it's easier to maintain and it's easier for children to maintain. So unless you live alone, you need to realize that your schedules and systems and routines are going to also need to be maintained or participated in by children and spouses. And if it's too complicated, they're not going to do it and it's all going to fall apart.
Speaker: Yeah, we talked about naming this episode something about 101 solutions because we have so many suggestions we're going to be offering, but just simplify, just use one or two. Right, right. Not 101, right. So one of my simplified tips is this household binder tool. Now I know that there are probably countless blog posts about this and
Speaker: and courses you can probably take. But a friend shared with me how she does hers, and I've shared it on Instagram once or twice on my stories. But basically, essentially, you have one big binder, and in it, you keep everything that you need to know about your kids in your household. So it's not a place to file important things. So I don't keep insurance documents or tax documents in there. I put that in my filing cabinet.
Speaker: But it's anything else that I might need to refer to when maintaining my house or taking care of my children. So for example, we had one of my little ones on some medication. We were trying to find the right dosage, the right kind of medication. And so in my binder under her tab, I have everything listed. The doctor's name, when we had our appointment, I said what medication she was put on, how long, what the effects were, the side effects, what we changed, et cetera, et cetera. And then when I go back to the doctor, I have it all right there. Well, this is what happened the first time we did that, et cetera.
Speaker: For medical records, it's brilliant. My kid stepped on a nail. When was that? Did she get antibiotics? Well, it's in the binder, right? Right. And then household management stuff as well. When did we get our carpets cleaned last? When did the car last get its oil changed, et cetera? So this is just something that has vastly helped me empty my brain instead of constantly trying to remember when somebody last went to the ER. It's all right there.
Speaker: Oh, that is so, so amazing. I think I need to do a household binder, definitely. I was listening to this podcast the other day and this wasn't the topic, but they said this one sentence that really stood out to me. It said, the brain is not intended to be a storage location. I was like, what? Whoa.
Speaker: Yeah, that's crazy. So we do have a binder for all of our our farm stuff. So like the animals, which animal was bred and how much milk they gave and, you know, the last time they were dewormed and everything. And then also in that is the garden binder. So what we planted in which garden and what location and all that just because the brain is not a storage location. I just can't remember all this. So I think I definitely need a household one too.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, so smart. Okay, I have another simplified tip and that is throw it away. Yes, this is my favorite. Oh my goodness, this is like, this goes right back to don't overtax your brain and lessen the number of decisions because every time you see something that needs thrown away, you need to make the decision again, whether to throw it away or keep it. So like just a simple example here,
Speaker: When you bring your mail into your house, do you have a place you set it to go through later? Because as you're walking from the mailbox to the house, you've probably looked through it to see just quick what you've got and if there's anything that's urgent to deal with, right? So my system has become to make the decision immediately when I look at that piece of mail, whether it needs to be thrown away or not, and I go through the mail standing by the trash can.
Speaker: So that later I don't have to make that decision again. And then every time I see the stack of mail sitting there two weeks later, I have to make the decision, am I going to throw this away now or am I going to throw it away when I go through the mail later? So throw it away.
Speaker: Yes, I love that. I started doing the same thing recently. I used to just keep stacks of mail until they were towering. And now I'm like, why am I holding onto junk mail for three weeks? This is so dumb. It's a great mail avalanche. Yeah, it's very freeing to just throw it away. Or recycle it, rather, recycling. Yeah.
Speaker: Okay. Yeah. All right. So step number three is to use a schedule. Now, we've talked about this before, especially in regards to our kids and homeschooling and summertime, et cetera. But we have both recently been working a lot with block scheduling for ourselves. And sometimes as a mom, you think, well, especially in the summer, what's really the schedule, right? We just kind of do mom stuff, feed the kids, et cetera.
Speaker: But this has really, really helped both of us keep our work and our place separate and keep things from overstepping their boundaries, right? For example,
Speaker: Uh, something that I've done recently has made my first morning block, uh, like the household management getting people ready block, right? So everybody gets ready, we eat breakfast, and then anything I need to do to manage the household gets done or started then. I start a little laundry, I pay a bill, I go check the mail, I call the pest control guy, right? All that stuff happens before 10am.
Speaker: And then when 10am comes, I don't have to worry about it for the rest of the day. If it didn't get done, oh well, I wait until tomorrow. And that has been pretty revolutionary for us at our house because then I can easily step into our learning block where we sit down and enjoy time, reading, et cetera, learning together, rather than constantly thinking, oh, shoot, I should have done that. Oh, I need to do this right now. Oh, I'm going to, you know, then I dedicate that time to my kids.
Speaker: This block schedule thing also creates peace of mind and allows you to move on even when things don't get done. Yeah, that is so incredible. I think both you and I have picked this up. I've heard about block schedules in several other places, but watching the productivity bootcamp video on the block schedule just really cemented it in for me on how important it is.
Speaker: just to schedule like big three -hour blocks of time. This is so helpful when you have kids because Bonnie and I were discussing yesterday how another type of scheduling where if you schedule every hour or every half hour, you're going to have an accident with a kid somewhere and something's going to need to be cleaned up and then your whole entire schedule for the rest of the day is blown out. Yeah, exactly. My tip for
Speaker: First one on scheduling is start by planning the things you want to happen into your schedule. Don't start by scheduling your appointments and the things you have to do, but don't leave it up to chance to get the things that you want to happen happen. Like, okay, when we get everything else done, then we'll go play volleyball together in the backyard.
Speaker: No, plan it. Okay, we're going to play volleyball after supper from seven to eight in the backyard. And then you know it's on your schedule, you know you're going to get to it. And it's awesome. So first step on making a schedule stick is plan the things you want to happen. Yes, I love that one so much. And it will help your happiness go up like 100 million degrees. Because you got to the thing you wanted to do, you know? Yeah. Especially for something that you're doing together with your family for sure.
Speaker: Okay, so my scheduling tip is both schedule, well, I have two little ones. First one is scheduling my work hour. So it's very difficult to find quiet time to sit down at the computer and get things done for Novalee or whatever else I'm working on.
Speaker: And so, a long time ago, I scheduled my work hours to be when the toddlers and babies were taking naps right after lunch. Spoiler alert, that's when I always record the podcast because it's the one time I can guarantee my kids know where I'm going to be and that they need to leave me alone for a little while. Now, this is not perfect for sure, but putting that first in my schedule makes me know that I will always get to that instead of leaving it till 11 o 'clock at night and then I'm exhausted and I make no sense in my blog posts or whatever.
Speaker: My other one is sewing Saturdays. So if you've watched my Insta stories, you probably have noticed that I do all my sewing on Saturdays now because I was trying to fit it in during the days or in the evenings, whenever I had a little extra time and it just wasn't happening, especially with the business now. So I decided that I really wanted to put it back in my life and make a dedicated space for it. And so I told myself that after we got our morning jobs done, the kids would go play and I would sew for several hours.
Speaker: And it's not perfect, but it's been working pretty dang good and it makes me so happy to have my favorite hobby back in my life. Yeah, I think that definitely falls into the category of self -care that you and I are always talking so much about, don't you? Right. Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker: So my scheduling tool that I'm gonna share is very similar to your sewing Saturdays in that I have made dedicated days for certain things so that if I have any extra time on that day or in my three to four o 'clock hour, I spend focusing on this, whatever I've dedicated the day to. So Monday is dedicated to cooking. So any extra cooking I'm gonna do that day or that week, that for the week, I get it done on Monday. And then,
Speaker: Like, you know, we do a lot of fermentation stuff. So like kombucha, for example, we make our own kombucha. Well, I instead of thinking, you know, on Thursday, oh, what is it time to switch the kombucha into new bottles or whatever? No, I just know that. OK, that's I'm going to address that on Monday. And then the rest of the week, I don't have to think about any extra cooking things because I've done all that on Monday.
Speaker: And then Tuesdays, I'm not going to go through every day the way you care, but I did want to mention what I do on Tuesdays. I have Tuesdays for organizing and exactly what we're talking about today, developing or analyzing schedules, routines, and systems to make sure that what we're doing is working. Or if it's not working, develop a new one or organization, which we're going to talk about in a future episode. So on Tuesdays, that extra focus is all about
Speaker: making sure the systems I have in place are working and organizing. Okay, I think that's brilliant and I'm totally gonna copy you. I can't believe you haven't told me this yet.
Speaker: Okay, so can't you just tell us what you do the other days real quick? Oh, sure. All right, so Wednesday is for cleaning, any extra cleaning that might not get done the rest of the week, like baseboards or windows or something. Thursday is laundry and clothing. So, you know, a certain kid has grown out of a certain size and we need to go through and put away what's too small. And also I make sure, like with your basket system, Thursday would be the day that I make all the kids go get their baskets and put their clothes away. So at least once a week, their clean clothes are put away.
Speaker: Friday is our town day, our dedicated town day. And in the summer that means swimming lessons and a trip to the library and all that. So anything that needs a trip to town but isn't urgent, we save it for Friday. And then Saturday is, take a guess, sewing and also cleaning the upstairs. Because I think I talked about way back in our episode on chores, that we do a daily chore time on
Speaker: every day at four o 'clock. So that includes the downstairs, but the upstairs doesn't get as much attention. It doesn't need it because it's just bedrooms and the laundry room upstairs. So Saturday we do a clean on the upstairs and then the rest of the time is sewing. Yes, I love it. Okay, I'm totally stealing these. These are great ideas. Okay, one other question I had about your dedicated days is if you have a crazy day or a sick day or whatever, and you don't get to the extra stuff, do you bump it to a different day or you just say, forget it, I'll catch up the next week?
Speaker: Nope, I just catch up the next week. It's just freeing for my brain because then otherwise I feel like I'm behind. Yes, yes, I can say that for sure. Okay, so when we have specific schedules, it means that, you know, you've heard the saying, a place for everything and everything in its place. That's basically what we're doing with our tasks and our time, right? We have a time for everything, which means that we don't have to think about things when it's not their time.
Speaker: And I cannot tell you how freeing this has been for my brain. Normally I have a hundred million things cycling through my brain at all times. Don't forget, don't forget, don't forget, don't forget. And when it's not the turn of those things, I can just wash them out of my brain, right? If I need to write them down, great. I can write it down on my chalkboard in my kitchen or on my to -do list or whatever. But I can actually relax with my kids when it's time to play with my kids because I'm not worrying about all the things that didn't get done. Because let's be honest, if you have more than one child, nothing ever gets done.
Speaker: on the day it's supposed to get done, right? It's like this nonsense. Never do you have a time or a day when, well, everything's done. There's literally nothing to do for my motherhood jobs. Come on, that just never happens. So in order for us to let go, I personally have to schedule it. And I love that. And then I'm not distracted when I'm trying to do quality things.
Speaker: Yes, I agree. Amen. Hallelujah. 100%. My brain is so much more free now that I have dedicated days and a block schedule and all of this. Yeah.
Speaker: I do have to say that for a schedule to work, you have to respect it. For example, if I don't make my kids respect my work hours, if I don't tell them no, or if I schedule appointments during my work hours or whatever, then it always gets pushed to the back. And for any schedule to work, you have to respect it and say no to other things that would interfere with this schedule.
Speaker: That's what a schedule is about. I do have to say that on the weekends, Saturday and Sunday, we don't do a schedule. And so that's kind of like our free time where we can be spontaneous and whatever else. We don't follow the block schedule or anything. So that back when Monday rolls around again, we're free to roll right back in and we're energized and refreshed to roll right back into that schedule.
Speaker: Yes, I highly recommend that as well. And I will say for those of you who hate the word schedule and think that scheduling your day all day long sounds like the worst thing ever, what if you scheduled a block that was do whatever you want, right? Like what if your morning block was taking care of your kids and then your lunch block was feeding everybody and putting kids down for a nap and your two to four block was
Speaker: do whatever the heck I want. And if your kids are down and they don't need you and you want to watch TV, great. And you want to read a book, great. Or you want to go on a bike ride, great. You want to call a friend, you know what I'm saying? So we're not, you know, if this sounds like something that's totally against your nature, you can still make it work for you while creating a little bit more freedom that fits more with your personality.
Speaker: So my last tip for creating schedules is to plug in or unplug at specific times, okay? So we all know about those terrible time sucks of Instagram and the internet and online shopping or whatever your addiction can be, right?
Speaker: If you need online time or TV time or whatever, which I think we all do, that's kind of how we check in with the world now, then just schedule it, right? Have a specific time. Like, well, I'll get on social media and check in with my family that's out of town after kids are in bed. Or I will do it right after lunch and the kids know not to bug me because that's my time to just check out for a little bit.
Speaker: But then keep your commitment to yourself to turn it on at the right time and turn it off at the right time so that you don't get tempted to do it other times or have it extend its boundaries, et cetera. Just kind of be honor your commitments to yourself. Yeah, exactly. If you have it scheduled in, then it's like you were saying, a time for everything means that you know that Instagram is still going to be there in two hours when it's your plug -in time. Yeah, sadly, it's always there.
Speaker: All right, so that was tool number one, a schedule. Tool number two, the second tool that we're giving you is to develop systems. A system is the way that something is done. And so you can think that this is different than a routine, and we're going to get into routines next. But a system is the actual way that something is done.
Speaker: Yeah, and how we create the right systems is by focusing on those pain points we talked about before, right? Choose a pain point that you've listed and then develop a system around it that will solve it, right? Like I said before, you can research how other people do it. You can get on Pinterest and blogs and read books, etc. But in the end, you should ultimately develop your own system because I really believe there's no
Speaker: right way for everyone to do anything. Or even for two people, right? Every household is so different. Even if you take somebody else's idea, you'll have to tweak it a little bit to make it work perfectly for you.
Speaker: Yes, that is right because if it's not your system that is developed just for you, it's not going to work or it's not going to stick. So my husband really shines in this area. Like he has done lots of training through work and I think it just comes naturally to him of this developing of systems. So I'm not as good at it actually. When I have something that's not working for me, I'll go to him and I'll say, help me out. I need a system to help me deal with
Speaker: I'm getting the mail cleaned up and he'll be like, he'll sit down and he'll analyze and he'll say, okay, this is what we're going to do. And like I was mentioning on dedicated days, I actually have time scheduled to evaluate my systems if they're working, if they're not working so that I can tweak them because any system that isn't analyzed, it's going to fail.
Speaker: Yeah, that is so true. And that's brilliant that you use those days to sit back and go, what is not working? I've also noticed, like we said before, that different life phases can break down systems really quickly. I had a great system for evaluating my kids' clothing needs in our old house. For some reason, it just worked really well the way our clothes were set up. And as soon as somebody outgrew something, I'd put it in a bucket over here. And as soon as somebody needed the next size, I'd transfer it over here, whatever. And since we've moved into this house, I think it also had to do with starting a business and having less time.
Speaker: It's just fallen apart. And so that is definitely one that's on my list to reevaluate and say, OK, how can we fix this in this new space that's a little bit different than the last one? And maybe your husband needs to come help me too. He's good at it.
Speaker: So one tip for a system that I want to share is our chore chart. I've shared it a couple of times here and there, and it's always evolving because kids grow up and they change and their skills become better, hopefully, as time goes on. So I've noticed that when the house starts to get a little bit dirtier than it should be or kids are doing more complaining, then that means we need to reevaluate our chore chart and the expectations.
Speaker: What we're currently exploring and evaluating is our current system of returning and reporting. So that means when a child is assigned to do something or they know, you know, it's on the torture, they know it's their job, they need to come back to me and report on how it went and when they were finished. And my kids have kind of fallen off the bandwagon with this. So all of a sudden I'll see them playing with friends and I'll go, wait a minute, it's your job, oh yeah, it's done. But you were supposed to, you know, check with me and then I check the job, right?
Speaker: So yeah, it's just this constantly evolving thing that once one part works, then you evaluate the next part, et cetera.
Speaker: Yes, I agree totally. And I did want to point out that we have done several podcast episodes where Bonnie and I each share our systems, like way back episode three, Kids in Shores, episode 11, Kids in Laundry, episode 23, Kids in Toy Management. Yeah, we should link all these in the show notes so people know exactly where to find them.
Speaker: Yeah, the last thing I wanted to share about systems is what you were talking about your husband reminds me of the book cheaper by the dozen
Speaker: Do you remember the dad? He was so good at systems. That was like his job. Yes, reading that book, he is like being efficient is his number one priority in life. And so reading that book made me really want to dive into my household management and go, OK, where am I not being efficient? Where can we double up on chores or something to get more stuff done in less time? I just thought that was a fascinating book in that regard. Yeah. Did you know that there's a second book in the series written by his daughter?
Speaker: Oh, it's held bells on their toes. That's a fun one too. Okay, I have heard of it, but I haven't read it. Okay, I'll have to read that one.
Speaker: Okay, and so the final tool that we're going to give you, tool number three is routines, the power of routines. So routines are such a powerful tool in your toolbox because once you have a routine in place, you can add something onto your routine. So for an example of a routine is maybe you're
Speaker: maybe your morning routine where first you get up and then you pray and then you read your Bible and then you make your kids breakfast and then you probably do that in the same order every day. Well, something you do in the same order is a routine. So we're gonna talk about routines and give you some help with this awesome tool.
Speaker: Yes, totally. And routines and systems totally go hand in hand. They're just a slightly different way of looking at solving a problem. So my first tip for routines is, again, because everything we do involves other people in our household, make sure that you're communicating these routines to the people around you, right?
Speaker: So, I love to change things up, to reorganize, to restructure, and I often do this without telling those around me. And then I try to continue this system or routine on my own, and it's like walking uphill in an avalanche. It just doesn't work. It causes a lot of strife or opposition because nobody knows what I'm trying to do, right?
Speaker: So when I sit down with my family and tell them, hey guys, here's a pain point. And I'm thinking that if we implemented this routine, it could really solve it. These are the positive effects that I anticipate coming from this routine. What do you guys think? They'll probably say, yes, let's please fix that problem. And then we get excited together rather than I'm going to change this and you guys are going to like it, right? You just kind of have to convince them by saying, hey, this is the problem we've all been seeing. I'm going to try this. Look, can you all work with me on this, right?
Speaker: Yes, absolutely. I have a tip for helping your routines go smoother, and that is write it down. So number one, you don't have to remember it, and also so that your kids can remember it too, because sometimes, just like you're saying about communicate,
Speaker: Like just because I've communicated it to my kids once a routine doesn't mean they're going to remember it. So even kids that can't read. So going back to our DM from our friend that we got, her problem could be solved by a bedtime routine and she could have a little poster, lemonade poster on the wall in her bathroom where she makes up. And first is a picture of a toothbrush. So the kids come in and they know, okay, now I have to brush my teeth first. And then there could be a picture of
Speaker: a washcloth or a towel or something. So then they know, oh yeah, okay, next I wash my face. And then the third one would be a picture of
Speaker: a towel hanging on a rack so they know, oh yeah, the last thing I do before I leave the bathroom is I hang my towel up. So that might be a little routine that she could, a little poster she could hang on the wall, make her routine, make a picture or write it down so her kids, I'm not sure what age her kids are, she did say littles, but so that they could go through the routine easily every night and she wouldn't have to be right there reminding them, okay, now we brush her teeth and then we wash her face and then we hang up our towel and now you can go put your pajamas on.
Speaker: Right, right. Really helps your brain stress as well. I was just thinking about that for us personally, we have two things that we have written down to help my kids remember their routines. The first one is their morning basics, which is what we call basically getting ready in the morning. So it includes things like making beds, getting dressed, brushing teeth, putting dirty clothes away, pajamas away, making beds, et cetera.
Speaker: And the other thing is the order in which to clean the bathroom. Because I love my kids will walk in and go, oh yeah, I'm supposed to sweep the floor. So they do that first. And then they wipe the counter. And then they're, okay, what else happened? You know what I'm saying? So not only is it a checklist for them, but it's a good order so that they know they're supposed to be cleaning from top down and not using the same scrub brush on the toilet as the same, et cetera.
Speaker: That is awesome. Those work pretty well for us. One last tip that I have for routines is to try a new routine for at least a month. It takes quite a while before it becomes a habit or more comfortable and you become kind of settled into this new routine. And it often gets a little bit harder before it gets better. So I just caution that because sometimes you can try a routine for a week and think, well, this is not helping anything because they're
Speaker: It's inviting me on every step and et cetera. It's more work, et cetera. But once it becomes habit, then it's just like machinery. Everything clicks into place and all of a sudden you're not thinking about it anymore and it's working really well. But it takes a long time. Every time we change up our chore chart, I regret it for the first like two or three weeks. I'm like, oh, this is never going to get back to how it was before. But usually if everything, you know, sometimes you need to tweak a little bit and that's okay, but usually we settle into a new normal and it's so much better.
Speaker: OK, so that is some of our tips and tools for routines. And I just love the power of routines because once they're after that first month and they're into place, then you can use a routine as a really powerful tool to hook something else on to. So like let's say you want to remember to take your vitamins after breakfast. Well, if you have a routine for cleaning up breakfast, then and it's good and it's set solid in place, then you can just add take your vitamins to the end of that routine because you already have the vehicle in place that you can hook that on to.
Speaker: That reminds me of the book Atomic Habits. Have you read that one, Audrey? No. Oh, it's so good. And he talks all about the science behind creating new habits for yourself. And that could be a really beneficial resource to creating new systems for your family.
Speaker: Yeah. Okay, so we have given you so much information in this episode. We probably should have split it up into one episode for systems, one episode for schedules, and one episode for routines. But just hopefully some of that can help you. So we advise you to start with your pain point list.
Speaker: And then pick one pain point and say, does this pain point, could it be solved with a schedule, a system, or a routine, or organization? Which we were smart enough to stick that one in a different episode. But anyway, it helps to kind of break it down. Like, for example, our friends
Speaker: bedtime bathroom toothbrush issue that she was having was solved by a routine. My issue with that bathroom basket was kind of solved with a system.
Speaker: Everybody's work hour problem was solved with a schedule. So each of these different pain points can be solved with one of these tools. Yeah. And I would actually share that sometimes it's a combination, right? Like our friend that sent the DM, it might even be a combination of a routine and a little bit of organization. Maybe she does need a more accessible, cleaner space to put everybody's toothbrushes where they know where they're going to find them and they know where to put them away. Maybe they're better labeled so nobody's sharing, et cetera. So it's OK if it takes a kind of a combination of a few of these things, too.
Speaker: Oh yeah, I definitely think organization can solve almost every problem in combination with something else. So we'll talk to you about that in a future episode. That's right. Thanks so much for listening, guys.
Speaker: Thanks so much for tuning in. Did you know you can help the podcast in several ways? First up, we're on Patreon and there are three different levels to support us there. Just head to patreon .com slash outnumbered. Next up, if you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a written review on iTunes. It helps other parents find the podcast and receive the help you're enjoying. And finally, you can follow us on Instagram at Outnumbered the Podcast. We're always having fun over there too.
Speaker: As usual, if you have any questions or ideas for future episodes, you can reach us at outnumberthepodcastatgmail .com. Thanks for all your support. We'll talk to you next week. Yes, agreed. So anyway, that... I feel like I'm so excited about this topic that my thoughts are just like jumbled everywhere. We could talk about it further. I know.
