Transcript
Speaker: Eddie Ice, what's up, buddy?
Speaker: Happy Friday, man.
Speaker: How you feeling?
Speaker: I'm feeling pretty good.
Speaker: Yeah?
Speaker: I can't complain.
Speaker: How about you?
Speaker: Hey, man, I got you here.
Speaker: I feel great now that we're together once again.
Speaker: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: It's been too long.
Speaker: Way too long.
Speaker: Been forever, man.
Speaker: So, yeah, welcome to IG Live Talk, Bigger Talk.
Speaker: edition with me at Munson people.
Speaker: The topic of discussion is the psychological effects of life in this new world.
Speaker: Before we dive into that and get more into that process, we just going to talk about how you and I met, right?
Speaker: So to people who don't know, or maybe you do know, Matt and I met on season 13 of The Bachelorette, Rachel
Speaker: We were one of the one of 32 of 31 contestants and 31.
Speaker: Yeah, I had a moment on the show when I was in a really dark place.
Speaker: And this guy right here, Matty Nice, Matty Ice that I like to call him, pulled me out of that space, gave me some big brother perspective and feedback.
Speaker: And ever since then, 2017, we've been like, we've been tight.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: So Matt, man, tell me, talk to me, what's going on in your world, what's new, how has 2021 been treating you?
Speaker: I see you working out.
Speaker: Just give me a synopsis of what's been going on with yourself.
Speaker: I mean, yeah, the working out thing has been a bigger part of my life maybe than it ever has been.
Speaker: And I think mainly, you know, it's been about the mental effect that staying regimented with anything, you know, I don't care what it may be.
Speaker: I mean, for me, it's been fitness.
Speaker: But for somebody else, it could be to try to, you know, read a book a week.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: spend more time with family.
Speaker: Everybody has to start each week, I feel like, with some sort of goal that keeps them grounded, that keeps them looking forward to something because the typical things that we would do for leisure, whether it be going out to eat, going to parties with friends, have been pretty much non-existent.
Speaker: yeah so to dial into something that is a little bit more routine and that you can invest yourself in um and have a goal have a goal at the end of that you know like i just turned 36 but you talk about the working out thing like i want to you look good you look good well i want to be in the best shape of my life in in spite of a pandemic
Speaker: yeah i want to know that like i had some odds stacked against me i couldn't get to the gym for when i you know initially started working out and uh i said it i said you know that doesn't matter i'm gonna do what i have to do i'll go back to the basics if i have to uh so like i pulled a lot of weights that i had from high school like out of storage yeah uh
Speaker: and stuff that was rusty you know some stuff i had to kick the dust off of but i said
Speaker: you know, there might be an obstacle or two in front of me to impede my progress.
Speaker: But I'm going to overcome that.
Speaker: You know, I want to look back and say, you know, there was something that was really great that came out of the pandemic.
Speaker: And it also just had most to do with, like I said, just making myself feel better mentally.
Speaker: If I was focused on that, then I wasn't dwelling on all the other nonsense.
Speaker: Not nonsense, but it's just a lot of distractions.
Speaker: If you can put your head down and focus on a goal,
Speaker: you know, automatically your brain tunes out a lot of the stuff that it doesn't need.
Speaker: Right, distractions.
Speaker: Well, before we give them a look, some of that insight, I'm going to dive into questions.
Speaker: I got a game that I like to play, it's called Rapp, Fire.
Speaker: So I'm going to say two names, you got to pick one, you can't, you just got to go.
Speaker: Go ahead.
Speaker: Let me know, you ready?
Speaker: Yeah, when you are.
Speaker: Basketball or football?
Speaker: Basketball.
Speaker: Power or money?
Speaker: Ooh.
Speaker: I think money.
Speaker: It doesn't matter.
Speaker: There's no right or wrong, whatever comes to you.
Speaker: So money.
Speaker: All right, go ahead.
Speaker: Ben Gordon or Kimba Walker?
Speaker: You're tugging on my heartstrings there because both of those guys are... Kimba.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: UConn or UMass?
Speaker: Obviously, you know that.
Speaker: UConn.
Speaker: The Celtics or the Patriots?
Speaker: The Celtics.
Speaker: Good wine or good cigar?
Speaker: Good cigar.
Speaker: The Bachelorette or Bachelor in Paradise?
Speaker: Ah.
Speaker: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Speaker: I say the bachelorette for me.
Speaker: Oh, really?
Speaker: Okay, I like that.
Speaker: We just rolled the dice, we broke the ice.
Speaker: Yeah, so I didn't want to cut you off early because you were getting into something that was very vital and important for this discussion.
Speaker: So my first question to kind of break things down,
Speaker: in the pandemic of 2020, now we're into 2021.
Speaker: From your perspective, what do you think most people have been struggling with and what are the challenges you've seen consistent from your point of view?
Speaker: I think the challenge is, let's face it, the biggest one has got to be just the monotony of, you know, every day being the same as the day before.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think that's difficult for people.
Speaker: I mean, I think very, very basically speaking, right?
Speaker: Everybody's life is typically, I mean, most people's life is typically like Monday through Friday, you look forward to the weekend, you know, and that's when you get together with family, with friends.
Speaker: But
Speaker: There's not even that to look forward to because obviously that's all on hold for the moment.
Speaker: So I mean, it's just, it's like every day is Groundhog Day.
Speaker: And I mean, that could just play on your brain a little bit.
Speaker: Yeah, as I say, too much of something can be dangerous, right?
Speaker: I like to look at it from a flip side where, let's say, maybe majority of people didn't like going to work every day.
Speaker: And then they got all this time off.
Speaker: And now they're like, damn, I appreciate it going to work.
Speaker: I want that normalcy back.
Speaker: I want to go to happy hour.
Speaker: I want to go over my friends or family members house and not
Speaker: happen to quarantine or be cautious or in fear you know I want I want normalcy so I think prior to this this this IG live talk that we're having I think we talked about the new norms right the mental capacity that we're all enduring like I told you yesterday like I woke up in a funk like damn like what about
Speaker: Last night I couldn't sleep, I was restless.
Speaker: And I was thinking, I was like, man, and you know, we all have our days, we're in and out.
Speaker: What happens is, for me, when I don't have a scheduled plan for the next day,
Speaker: Not that my day is not as important, it's just that nothing is forcing me to like if I have a client or I have to see someone or be on set at 7, 8 or 5 a.m.
Speaker: then I gotta go to bed at a certain time, right?
Speaker: I think to feed off what you're saying, I think we're lacking or what we don't have like we did before.
Speaker: with structure, right?
Speaker: So a system, order of operations where we know I got to be to work at this time, I got to be to class at this time, I do this on a weekend, I do this for happy hour.
Speaker: Now, we have to create our own structure.
Speaker: And it's funny, like probably about five years ago, maybe five or six, when I started to work for myself, I was lost because I had all this time.
Speaker: I had to like, create time
Speaker: to be in time, if that makes sense.
Speaker: I had to create my own schedule.
Speaker: And when I used to go on breaks at work, I didn't really need a break.
Speaker: I only went on a break because I was supposed to.
Speaker: Then when I got home, I'm like, I'm not even hungry.
Speaker: I think, you know, for you,
Speaker: for that structure that I think we're lacking or we're trying to recreate or redirect for ourselves, which structure have you put in place to keep your mindset intact, to keep your spirits up and just kind of keep you even keel without you getting overwhelmed, having anxiety, or maybe you have anxiety, or maybe you have days when you're feeling down and depressed or you're really severely stressed.
Speaker: Like what's your structure that you created since the pandemic that's new?
Speaker: I mean, I basically have a holy trinity of, you know, anchors in my life, right?
Speaker: So family, family and friends would be one.
Speaker: you know my my that physical exertion that i really need to to get my endorphins flowing to just um feel engaged i make sure i do that in the morning right so i start every day like that so that's that's my first thing is first and then um and then like i said i mean i have a little niece so she brought up my day you know i make sure i see her a few times a week um
Speaker: There's like a level of innocence with, I mean, it's a shame that little kids are getting to know the world like this, you know, their introduction to society.
Speaker: Sadly enough, like my niece doesn't really, my niece doesn't really find it strange to see people with a mask on.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: I thought she'd be scared of somebody with a mask, right, naturally, but it's commonplace for her.
Speaker: But anyway, not to digress, I mean, that's one thing, my family, my fitness, and then, you know, I like to eat too.
Speaker: So I like to look forward to, if nothing else, you know, a nice dinner.
Speaker: And if anything,
Speaker: you know i saved a lot of money i mean i didn't spend a lot of money going out to eat usually usually i i drop some cash when it comes to going out boy like it ain't good eat good yeah but but basically what i did this year was i said i'm gonna take that money i'm gonna buy cleaner food better food and that's gonna you know that's gonna help the fitness part of it so i'm about to eat
Speaker: but I'm still gonna eat right and I'm gonna eat good.
Speaker: So you created some type of discipline, some new discipline.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Hey, listen, you look great, man.
Speaker: You look great.
Speaker: I think you're ready for another TV show, maybe a movie role, maybe the front of GQ magazine.
Speaker: No, seriously.
Speaker: I'm like, damn, you inspiring me.
Speaker: I got, listen, I got a lot of good people in my life that talk me up, that...
Speaker: That pushed me, but nobody like you, you know that, you know that.
Speaker: Brothers from my different mothers, man.
Speaker: Hey, I'm here for you.
Speaker: Because when I was in that dark space, you pulled me out.
Speaker: We did it back then, but we continue to do that for each other now.
Speaker: So I mean, that's what I would encourage people to do too, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Connect with people.
Speaker: I wish I did more of that.
Speaker: I wish I did more of... Connect with people.
Speaker: You hear that, guys?
Speaker: Connect more.
Speaker: I mean...
Speaker: I have a long list of people that I could reach out to and just say, how are things?
Speaker: How are you feeling?
Speaker: Because I think that a big component to this whole thing is people don't know what is okay, right?
Speaker: I mean, is it okay to feel...
Speaker: you know, to not feel okay with everything that's going on.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: That's a good question.
Speaker: What do you think?
Speaker: Is it okay to not feel okay or is it okay?
Speaker: I mean, what do you think?
Speaker: I think it's okay to feel not okay.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: I agree with you more.
Speaker: And I think... Why is that you believe?
Speaker: Because it's like anything else.
Speaker: I mean, throughout... Is it relatable?
Speaker: It's real?
Speaker: It's definitely real.
Speaker: I mean, there should be...
Speaker: there should be forums, I mean, there should be lives just like you and I are having with people where they're basically venting on the emotions that they're going through, right?
Speaker: I mean, some people might be stuck in a place where, man, is this gonna last forever?
Speaker: I mean, I think in my opinion, it's gonna be a gradual return to a norm, right?
Speaker: Or whatever we consider to be normal.
Speaker: It's going to be gradual.
Speaker: And what I've been thinking about this week is, is it going to be strange to go back into a bar or restaurant?
Speaker: Yeah, we talked about that.
Speaker: Are you going to be in the gym and work out and not have a mask on and feel awkward?
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: Is it going to be different?
Speaker: The programming is programming us again for another life that we haven't lived that.
Speaker: And we're living it now.
Speaker: like I was telling you the other day I was watching a movie in a movie I saw a bunch of people and it kind of threw me off like oh not normal it's not it's not normal so I think more importantly than anything family connection being okay with not being okay right but also being super aware of not
Speaker: conditioning and programming ourselves to this new world where we don't feel safe without a mask or we're like overly anxious and overly cautious and overly protective and we're not living life but more importantly we're not experiencing life we're not experiencing
Speaker: us, you know, each other.
Speaker: Like I was telling someone months ago, if one of my neighbors fell and broke their leg or hurt something, I wouldn't just say, oh, I can't go over because I have a mask on, like I'm going to help them.
Speaker: You know, it's like, I can't be that way.
Speaker: So I try to tell people, you know, we got to live in love and not live in fear, because fear is what stresses us, what weakens the immune system that puts us in a low vibrational state, it's easy for us to get sick.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, I mean, again, that goes back to routine.
Speaker: Part of a routine, aside from eating right, would be, you know, are you taking a vitamin?
Speaker: Are you, you know, you're taking certain vitamins to, you know, boost your immune system?
Speaker: Are you taking vitamin C?
Speaker: Are you taking vitamin D?
Speaker: Are you getting outside a little bit?
Speaker: I mean,
Speaker: You have to, I told myself in the beginning, I'm like, if I stay physically strong, I don't know, maybe I was fooling myself.
Speaker: And if I can stay physically strong and maybe I can, you know, say I do get it.
Speaker: You know, I mean, my biggest fear has always been from the beginning.
Speaker: Older people in my life, parents.
Speaker: Yeah, parents.
Speaker: Mainly.
Speaker: um and other you know other older people that i that i come across so i mean i always felt like man if i if i stay strong then i can combat it if i if i get coveted or you know what i mean or i'll i'll i'll you know um
Speaker: it'll pass through my system faster than you know maybe you tell yourself building up because what people don't know I always say motion changes emotion right and when you're feeling good and when you're strong and you're confident you're putting yourself at a higher vibrational state and frequency where I feel like the virus only attacks people who immune system is weak and who is in a low vibrational state so someone who's
Speaker: depressed severely someone who's stressed out someone who's negative someone who is in fear I feel like the virus looks for those things right because it's like it wants it to feed itself so if you keep yourself healthy in shape feeling good wherever you pray meditate on hikes affirmations good music good people I tell people dance you know you know you gotta
Speaker: You got to create the energy you want to have in your life.
Speaker: You can't let the energy create you based on what's given like the news, other people projecting their fears onto you, the things we read about, knowing someone who might got it or have it, maybe someone passed.
Speaker: You can't let that be your reality because everybody's path and journey is different.
Speaker: That's why I think being aware in these moments and these times is so important.
Speaker: And granted, honestly, the good thing about it is people are more clean now probably.
Speaker: For sure.
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: Well, you know, we have far fewer flu cases than ever because people aren't contracting the regular flu because, you know, I mean, I go in the gym and
Speaker: the scent of hand sanitizer just runs rampant through the place.
Speaker: I mean, you watch everybody.
Speaker: They're diligent about cleaning their stuff.
Speaker: People distance themselves.
Speaker: Yeah, you know?
Speaker: I like to think, yeah, I mean, of course, you got to have it on you at all times.
Speaker: But no, I always think that you're in the gym and you're dealing with
Speaker: you know, people that have a healthier mindset and put that first anyway.
Speaker: So they're not going to put themselves at risk.
Speaker: So, I mean, I was cautious getting back into the gym, but I think it's one of the better places you could be.
Speaker: But yeah, I definitely think there is something to that.
Speaker: You know, I mean, we always talk about it.
Speaker: If you keep yourself in a positive mind frame,
Speaker: then, and your spirits are up, then, you know, it's not like you're not a sitting duck.
Speaker: You're not just waiting for it to hit you, you know?
Speaker: So, yeah, I couldn't agree with you more.
Speaker: I think that you have to, you got to keep your spirits up.
Speaker: You got to, like I said, stay regimented.
Speaker: Make sure you do something every day.
Speaker: I mean, I said to you this morning,
Speaker: the whole deal is gonna be like when this ends and it is gonna end.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Who we gonna be and what we gonna do.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: Yeah, let's move into like, so we got the mental aspects of the effects it could have on people but what do you think happens or is happening in a dating world, right?
Speaker: That's a good question.
Speaker: quarantine or people hanging out more than hanging out less or people getting in relationships or some people getting out of relationships because they're spending more time together what is your your overall scope on just dating in quarantine or in this pandemic has been like what's your percent i mean i think at first it was like
Speaker: non-existent but again now it's become the norm it's yeah like so i think i saw something on the today show the other day and they were talking about how you know something that was once not that it was i mean it was something that we you know everybody jokes about sliding into dms yeah that's that's your best bet if you want to try to meet somebody then slide
Speaker: If you want to meet somebody, just slide, slide into DM.
Speaker: Right there from that.
Speaker: So you've been sliding into DMs, Matt, or what?
Speaker: I heard that a few days ago and they were like, you know, that's the 2020, 2021 version of, you know, buying somebody a drink.
Speaker: That's a great analogy, wow.
Speaker: Actually, the other thing that was interesting to me was
Speaker: Go on your friend's account, right?
Speaker: So you have a female that you're just friends with or your boy's girlfriend or wife or something like that.
Speaker: You go through her feed and see who she follows and follows her back.
Speaker: And then somebody looks appealing to you and attractive to you, then you might have the friend try to set that up.
Speaker: so she might dm she might she might message a friend and say you know what what about so and so or maybe i have somebody for you but again that would happen in the normal world if we were out and about and two people met you know if you're if friends here's dinner and they were out with another friend who's single then that connection might be made after the fact but now you go the extra mile now you have to go do that no let me stop um
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, that's interesting.
Speaker: I mean, I also think that's what I've done.
Speaker: But it sounded like that option.
Speaker: I think dating and just relationships in general is a time for people to be more open, right?
Speaker: And vulnerable when they're meeting someone for the first time or a new time, right?
Speaker: you if they get no real it will be all experienced this year it's like what are you hiding from so many people lost jobs some people losing it in possessions and family people so it's like hey
Speaker: you know, just be free, be open, speak your truth, be authentic.
Speaker: Maybe this relationship can help you for the next one.
Speaker: Maybe this is one that can save you, you know, because sometimes you need a little bit of affection, you need a little bit of love, you need a hug, you need someone to call you and check in on you and tell you it's going to be okay.
Speaker: But at the end of the day, what I realized about the pandemic and everything that's going on,
Speaker: we're all connected right so it doesn't matter what race what creed what height what status we're all connected we're all affected all over the world it wasn't just america it was the world so i think you know moving forward mindful of that we're all in the same boat yeah yeah i mean um i mean there's a couple different ways to go about it like i was i was thinking about what you were saying before i mean
Speaker: this we're closer to the end than we are to the beginning, right?
Speaker: Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker: I mean, that's ideally the way you'd like to look at it.
Speaker: So I feel more anxiety, to be honest with you, I feel more anxiety about this whole thing ending, this pause period.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Where if you didn't evolve, then
Speaker: you did yourself a disservice, right?
Speaker: Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Speaker: Take a break.
Speaker: Can you say that again, please?
Speaker: If you didn't, if you didn't somehow evolve and you did yourself a huge disservice, you missed an opportunity, you know, become more.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean,
Speaker: To me, there are, if you look hard enough, there are many opportunities for silver linings, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Take those silver linings and turn them into gold.
Speaker: That's what I've been saying to myself all along, right?
Speaker: I mean, the world is on pause.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: If you felt like you were behind the eight ball with something, if you felt like you had some catching up to do, there were some advancements in your life that
Speaker: uh you felt you were you know not putting giving enough attention to well now now is your chance and there's still plenty of time right i mean we're at the midway but my biggest fear is my anxiety comes from not will we ever get out of this my comes from when we do get out of this what will i have to show for you i mean i want to look back and say man
Speaker: everything was on hold, right?
Speaker: And I had every opportunity to try to improve upon A, B, and C. Now, did I do it?
Speaker: Or did I let that whole, you know, did I let that whole period pass me by and came up short of what I was trying to do?
Speaker: So I want to emerge from this better in more ways than one.
Speaker: So that's my fear.
Speaker: I'm like, man, this thing is
Speaker: make sure that like um you're done execution I mean if I'm here and here in a couple weeks I gotta pick this up I gotta raise this level up you know I mean it's time to level up for everybody and you know there's still there's still months and months of time so my my point would be try to put a positive spin on it that way too I got time to do the things you know that I've been wanting to do or before yeah yeah yeah exactly
Speaker: And that's the ironic thing about the whole pandemic is that it forces you to look at yourself.
Speaker: Hell yeah, yeah.
Speaker: It's just buddy, so what are you waiting for?
Speaker: You have all the time in the world.
Speaker: Yeah, you got no excuse now.
Speaker: No excuse.
Speaker: So I feel like that was a positive.
Speaker: I also feel like people learned a lot about themselves through adversity, through pandemic.
Speaker: There were people that I know that's, you know, quote unquote, middle class or better.
Speaker: And they were like freaking out or it was just, you know, they was getting overwhelmed and a lot of people were.
Speaker: And it was like, I just feel bad for, you there?
Speaker: Yeah, I'll be right there.
Speaker: Hold on.
Speaker: My phone's done.
Speaker: Hold on.
Speaker: they stated that I just feel I just feel bad for like the poor people the people who don't have much it was like freaking out right and I was like interesting I was like I said look check this out
Speaker: the only reason this pandemic is affecting you is because it's affecting your people and your class, middle class or upper class, whatever you want to call it, right?
Speaker: But there have been people in poverty stricken areas, inner cities, who's been struggling and in a real pandemic most of their life.
Speaker: This is interesting, not to cut you off, but I'm on the treadmill this morning and I'm thinking to myself, you know,
Speaker: I mean, I don't want to say spoiled, but I've had it way too good for way too long, right?
Speaker: You know as well as anybody, right?
Speaker: It's been too easy to be comfortable.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, this whole thing took you way outside your comfort zone.
Speaker: So I mean, again, like, I'll tell you what, to be honest with you, okay, we go back to the very basic thing about working out.
Speaker: I had some of my best workouts in the summer with just three weights out in the 95 degree weather.
Speaker: I felt like a savage because I had to go back to the basics, you know what I mean?
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: Hold on.
Speaker: You feel better because you had the basics.
Speaker: Elliot, absolutely.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: E, I made, I did so much more with less.
Speaker: That, you know, I mean, I always knew what I was doing.
Speaker: So, I wasn't shocked.
Speaker: But I did so much more with less that I even surprised myself.
Speaker: So, now, now when I am in the gym, I'm like, there's a certain edge to me that, again, over the next
Speaker: few months I have to get back.
Speaker: And I mean, it's a small thing.
Speaker: It's just that little bit of like a killer instinct that I was out of my way, way out of my comfort zone.
Speaker: Now I'm back in the gym.
Speaker: There's a lot of machines.
Speaker: It's comfortable.
Speaker: The temperature is right.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: But every time I'm working out, I'm like, this is too comfortable.
Speaker: You know, I think I feel like this new age, this new world of technology and digital and social currency, right?
Speaker: It's great.
Speaker: But we forget what we were given when we got here on planet Earth without any technology or anything digital, you got your senses, right?
Speaker: You got your eyes to see, your nose to smell, your ears to hear, you got your limbs, your legs to walk.
Speaker: So yesterday, I took a walk and I was like, usually I would drive because I have transportation.
Speaker: I was like, we take for granted because of the world we live in and we've been living in it for so long, the necessities that we're giving without having anything attached to it.
Speaker: You know, eye contact, body language, nature, smell,
Speaker: hearing feeling walking like i said you know i'm gonna go for a walk you know i can always drive but we don't ever i don't get too many chances to walk unless i make time for it right right also important that this thing make us look at uh
Speaker: ourselves that the things we have naturally that make us us there's a book called um tuesdays with maury oh that's one of my favorite books yeah so i don't know if you remember um the moment in a book he was talking to uh his teacher professor
Speaker: And he was kind of like on his deathbed, right?
Speaker: And he told the young boy, he said, anytime someone's in a position that he is in, like, you know, ill, probably about to leave earth or whatever, never make someone who's severely ill or feeling sick feel like they are that way.
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: them normal, right, as if they were regular, like they were normal.
Speaker: Don't bring energy, don't feel sorry, don't feel down, don't bring that energy into their existence.
Speaker: But he said, you know what you got to do is you got to look outside and look at the trees and watch the leaves fall off and look at the sky and watch the wind blow the leaves off the tree.
Speaker: And he was like, that's when you get back to like really appreciate living
Speaker: Right, the intangible stuff, right?
Speaker: The parts that you can't really touch or see because maybe you're in a different position, but you can feel it.
Speaker: Like, man, look at the sun, man, it's just shining.
Speaker: Or look at the skies and the clouds.
Speaker: It's like we take those things for granted because we're always on the go and we always got to get done or we feel like we're going to miss something or if we don't do this and we need our phones.
Speaker: And it's like, hold on.
Speaker: bring you back we're here with matt munton from connecticut he's a sagittarius you know simple stuff right it's like sometimes we forget how we met a person because we're so great about who they are in front of us it's like hold on how did i meet you well i mean let me put it in in terms um that people that are probably on the live right now can can relate to because i'm sure we have a lot of bachelor fans but
Speaker: I mean, obviously, everybody knows that people find love on the show.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Friendships that were born, obviously, you know, example, example, a right here exhibit a, I mean,
Speaker: I gotta think that we all got closer because technology was eliminated.
Speaker: It was an expedited period of time, right?
Speaker: I mean, we all got to know each other so much faster than we would in a normal setting because our heads were not buried in a phone.
Speaker: We didn't have a TV.
Speaker: We had no distractions.
Speaker: I mean, you really, besides a book, you had nothing,
Speaker: Nothing that was a drain on your attention.
Speaker: This is probably not the right thing to say, but as far as the quarantine, just the simple form of being isolated.
Speaker: I think back to the Bachelorette days a little bit.
Speaker: I do.
Speaker: Like, you know, what about when we were in our hotel room for like,
Speaker: 72 hours, you know, only, only, you know, the only human beings we saw was like, obviously producers, but I mean, you know, you had nothing to do, but, but sit alone by yourself for a few days before we started shooting.
Speaker: And, you know, alone with your with your nervous energy with your little bit of anxiety that we all had.
Speaker: So, I mean, I think back a little bit to a few years ago and some of what we went through then, just in terms of the quarantine, I'm not talking the bigger picture.
Speaker: There's much more serious shit going on, I understand.
Speaker: But I'm saying the simple quarantining period that we're going through now reminds me a little bit of that.
Speaker: And then just, you know, we didn't have access to all those things.
Speaker: So we sat around, we played cards.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, we talked.
Speaker: What was it, Man Chats?
Speaker: What was it, Man Chats?
Speaker: Where are the guys' shots?
Speaker: That's been so long.
Speaker: Man Chats.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Man Chats.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: That's what we called them.
Speaker: That was the term for it.
Speaker: But I mean, that's what you had to do.
Speaker: You had to get back to just like, you know, getting to know one another.
Speaker: And that's the opportunity that everybody has now to make a phone call to somebody who they haven't talked to in six months to a year.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: Catch up with them.
Speaker: See how they are, how their family has been, what their mental is like, what they feel.
Speaker: And sometimes it does feel like all we do is talk about this.
Speaker: It's good to have a balance, right?
Speaker: I mean, that's the one plus thing.
Speaker: of getting you know almost a year deep into this is this part of life now so we're not always talking about this new thing we're dealing with because we've been dealing with it so we can sort of move past a little bit but i think the occasional checking with people like what do you think about this that's going on or that that's going on and you know
Speaker: People need to put that out on the table.
Speaker: And again, talk about how you talk about your fears, your anxieties, what your concerns are.
Speaker: I'm just worried about this, I'm worried about that.
Speaker: I mean, I was relieved to hear that my father is gonna be able to now in Connecticut, some of the states have done it, where they dropped the age down to 65.
Speaker: you know, my father will get the vaccine and he's happy about that.
Speaker: I'm relieved to hear that too, because somebody in my life that could be susceptible just because he's older.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: He makes the cut, so he'll be able to get the vaccine.
Speaker: To me, that's a good thing.
Speaker: And so, you know, that makes me feel better.
Speaker: But
Speaker: Yeah, like what are your concerns?
Speaker: Well, most of the time you have a conversation with people and they say, well, I'm just worried about mainly my parents.
Speaker: You know, if I give it to them or if they get it, this relative has cancer or, you know, I'd hate to see them have to, you know, catch it.
Speaker: God only knows what might happen.
Speaker: So those are the kind of things that go through people's minds.
Speaker: So it doesn't hurt to just reach out to somebody if you have the opportunity to just,
Speaker: I think what you're really expressing and getting to in this moment is that it's love, right?
Speaker: Love, it's just love.
Speaker: Who be for themselves that are older because of love, because of family, because of togetherness, because of harmony.
Speaker: And I think if we intentionally say, you know what, today I'm going to get better, but I'm going to make sure I give a little love, right?
Speaker: And that can be in the form of a compliment, a text message, dancing, hugging someone, talking to someone, you know.
Speaker: love like if more of us more of us consciously every day say you know what i'ma live in a vibration of love and i'ma try to give that as much as i can no matter how bad it is on my end or bad it is in my environment i'ma love it don't have to be outrageous it could just be i'm gonna give away a dollar today um i'm gonna go hug someone i'ma ask someone if they need help or how are you doing like just check in
Speaker: That's all we need.
Speaker: I feel like if everyone was on the love frequency, a lot of these things would have been gone and out of place and out of mind because the love energy is so potent that it overtakes anything.
Speaker: And I think that's what we got to get to as well with one another now that we have all these times.
Speaker: How do I love my mother?
Speaker: How do I love my father?
Speaker: How do I love my spouse?
Speaker: How do I love my niece and my nephew in these different times?
Speaker: So, you know, it's important.
Speaker: It's a, you know, like, it's an opportunity to say to yourself, have I been a good son?
Speaker: Have I been a good brother?
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: All those things.
Speaker: So, but those are hard questions.
Speaker: And in a normal day and age, in a normal time,
Speaker: it's very easy with everything that we have going on and the pace that we're moving at to just bypass that thought but now you really and especially a lot of people are sitting you know by themselves a lot more than they usually would be yeah so now you really have to sit down with those with those questions and you have to look into the mirror and those really emotions yeah yeah and i mean and again
Speaker: Back to the idea of checking in with the people around us or reaching out to people who we haven't talked to in a while That was another that was another Sort of a I don't know the word I'm looking for but we didn't do that before because we were so busy right we were just on to the next thing to the next thing we were we had a schedule so something that
Speaker: that would just get lost in that in that hectic day-to-day routine would be i can't spend five minutes talking yeah it wasn't as intimate as we are now because we have intimacy is everything for all of us you know it's like just the attention to detail oh yeah absolutely and that's why i just don't think it was all bad you know yeah when you when you look back at at that
Speaker: you know, this year is going to be better, but a lot of 21 is going to be very similar to 20.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I just don't think it's all bad, you know, to look at 2020 and say, yeah, it did suck.
Speaker: We need to move past it.
Speaker: We need to get on to, you know.
Speaker: One of the best years of everybody's life because I feel the more we're forced to grow and evolve and be challenged with better outcomes, I think that's...
Speaker: because when you're comfortable let's say someone who's been in a relationship for 10 years right and both parties been going to work every day taking care of the kids right and now they got all this time together so one thing is they probably could spend more time together with the kids together who could have been they realize they're not as compatible as they once were yeah
Speaker: And so maybe they got to a deep rooted truth that it was like, wow, okay, how do we move forward?
Speaker: How do we still love each other and move our relationship?
Speaker: Or do we stay in the relationship?
Speaker: Because I think it's important to have crucial conversations.
Speaker: And I think the pandemic has brought all those things up into light for all of us.
Speaker: like who am I what am I going to be what I'm going to focus on okay if you lose a job how do you create a job how do you apply another job I'm going to make money you know it's forcing you to use your creative juice and to think outside the box so you can keep afloat and keep going so it's always good and and negatives to to any situation but I always override the good because if it wasn't sometimes I feel like
Speaker: if it wasn't for the dark if it wasn't for the bad there wouldn't be no light and there wouldn't be no good if that makes sense if we had everything i wanted as a child i wouldn't be who i am as an adult that makes sense so sometimes a little challenge and setbacks and hardships is it's not as bad as it seems they would they say what's the cliche uh the bad is really not bad and the good is really not good nothing is
Speaker: Yeah, I love that.
Speaker: But I mean, we talk about all the time like, you know, you know, my, a lot of people that we know,
Speaker: I mean, you go hard, like you, you, you, you do your best to engage with people on social and you're, you're always about your business.
Speaker: You're very, right.
Speaker: I mean, you're, you're always in motion.
Speaker: You're always making things done and you still manage to prop those around you up at all.
Speaker: But again, like I look at you, I say, well, you know,
Speaker: you know, is it a matter of like at some point you're going to slow down and you're always like, I can't slow down because it's a fight or flight mentality.
Speaker: Like, you've always had to go forward.
Speaker: You didn't want to go back to what it was before.
Speaker: You always wanted to make new opportunities for yourself.
Speaker: You always wanted to grow.
Speaker: You always wanted to flourish and embrace every new opportunity that came your way.
Speaker: But then, you know, when you talk to me, I'm a little more comfortable.
Speaker: I'm always, you know, kind of like, I'm a little more complacent.
Speaker: Like, you know, it's work, it's cool, you know.
Speaker: But, you know, I think that, you know,
Speaker: That's what I thought about this morning.
Speaker: It was just a matter of like it's always been too easy.
Speaker: That's real.
Speaker: Congratulations.
Speaker: That's real because to get to that revelation to that understanding since you've been searching.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That gave you an answer that can kind of lead to a new action and a new pattern.
Speaker: That's how new energy to come into your realm into your world.
Speaker: And I think that's what everybody should do.
Speaker: That comfort, that comfortability factor does more harm than good.
Speaker: That's that, you know, from my experience, you know, when something's easy, it's easy to just get real, you know, just comfy in that position.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know,
Speaker: what do you, you lose so much in the, in that, in that, you know, while you're just sitting back and relaxing.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's been a, this has just been a process of like self evaluation, you know, where do I need to improve?
Speaker: And I mean, I don't know, I think it was a good thing.
Speaker: I mean, all along, like I'm, I'm single.
Speaker: I wasn't before the pandemic, I was not single.
Speaker: Like, so going through this besides family kind of on my own, the day to day is just,
Speaker: you know, it's a real opportunity for reflection and just trying to just trying to level up in many ways.
Speaker: So and you have.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: I mean, I'd like to.
Speaker: You know, it hasn't been easy, but you did it.
Speaker: Yeah, the most thing is just having compassion for ourselves.
Speaker: I think what I've learned not only from you and, you know, I faced my fear of swimming this year.
Speaker: It taught me two things.
Speaker: to have compassion for myself right and to have patience for myself things don't just happen because i want them to happen or i gotta always be on like you always say i can take a step back and say it's all right that's all right that's all one place that you've you've definitely thrived right you've always been an athlete right how can i how can i basically participate in sport and not be thriving you know what i mean how can i not be
Speaker: at my best in this particular arena yeah well because it's just not something you're accustomed to right you know literally you got to dive in head first and make it happen i was so scared and shook feet but it taught me about fear in a different way and it also gave me respect for people who go after their dreams not knowing where it's going to take them because i didn't know what happened in this deep it was going to do to my spirit or soul but it wasn't about and that's why i want everyone listening and watching to get from this
Speaker: discussion is that it's not what we get or what we got from the pandemic or we get or we're getting for 2021 is what we're going to become.
Speaker: That's what it's always going to be about.
Speaker: Like you said, what are you becoming?
Speaker: What are you evolving to?
Speaker: What new patterns or new things you discovered about yourself?
Speaker: Because here's the thing, if everyone really on a soul level did work on themselves or try to figure out how they can improve, then the world will improve.
Speaker: We have to change we want to see we can't just project that we want change and say change if we're not changing.
Speaker: Yeah, but we have to have actions and patterns that change to make change.
Speaker: So in all, it ain't what we get in is what we become in.
Speaker: What we become in is we want to become more we want to do more but we also want
Speaker: We got to take, you know, like you said, you got a niece.
Speaker: I have a niece.
Speaker: I have nephews.
Speaker: What's that?
Speaker: You're going to look like.
Speaker: You've always said to me, you know, you want to set an example for them.
Speaker: That's huge.
Speaker: That's huge.
Speaker: The blueprint, man, you know, so I just think it's important for us to be aware of our positioning, who we are, what we are and what we believe ourselves to be, because sometimes the identity we created for ourselves is not actually who we really are.
Speaker: For the good and for the bad, you know?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You might, you might,
Speaker: you know, you might live in a little fantasy world where you're a better person than you actually are.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean,
Speaker: And so, man, I would just think that I haven't called this person, I haven't talked to that person or I haven't responded.
Speaker: It's so easy to not respond to a text now.
Speaker: You know what's crazy about what you just said?
Speaker: It's so easy not to talk to yourself and it's so easy not to respond to yourself.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And that's what the pandemic has forced us to, to talk to ourselves and respond to ourselves.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: Like, of course, we want to call and respond and talk, but we got to respond to what's in here.
Speaker: First.
Speaker: What am I afraid of?
Speaker: What's holding me back?
Speaker: Or am I really afraid if I don't get the vaccine?
Speaker: Am I really afraid if I get sick?
Speaker: Like, where's those thoughts coming from?
Speaker: Who's putting that fear and doubt in my system?
Speaker: So it's been a very introspective, reflective 2020.
Speaker: And then, you know, top of the year, we had that chaos at the White House in 2021.
Speaker: But it's everything is normal now when it comes to that.
Speaker: It's all how we respond now.
Speaker: And I think for most of us, we've been doing the best we can.
Speaker: And it's all right.
Speaker: And it's okay if it's not all right.
Speaker: Because we'll get through, right?
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, I got to think there are some people out there who'd be like, you know, I can't really say that this is bothering me, you know, more than more than
Speaker: it really should be.
Speaker: Maybe people like, you know, really having doubts and really uncomfortable and just verbalize that.
Speaker: Find somebody that you're close to and, you know, and there are other avenues too if you don't have anyone that you feel comfortable talking to.
Speaker: But I mean, you can't, you know, I've gone through days where like in the morning, I feel great.
Speaker: By the afternoon, I don't feel so good anymore.
Speaker: I mean,
Speaker: Monday, I'm not like this past week, I was a little bit, I was down, you know, but come Tuesday, I was up again.
Speaker: So don't let one day of, you know, everybody has an off day, right?
Speaker: But yeah, we'll bounce back, you know, know that the sun's gonna come out tomorrow.
Speaker: I mean, that's just the truth.
Speaker: That's just the truth, though, you know, like, don't give into that temporary,
Speaker: that temporary feeling.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Not forever, you know what I mean?
Speaker: Yeah, forever.
Speaker: And like you say, nothing really lasts forever anyway, good or bad, you know, it's just- Right, right.
Speaker: You know, but- Even things that you wish would last forever.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: You know, it's just sometimes you got to move on and go on.
Speaker: we're blessed man i'm happy that you jumped on today and gave us your perspective and the effects that your psyche has taken versus you know the world and all of us is you know dealing with but uh before we get off here like you know tell us what's what's new in your world what you got going on what you looking forward to can we catch you on bachelor in paradise will we see you on tv soon someone just said love island i mean i don't know matt i mean i
Speaker: What's new in your world?
Speaker: What you focusing on?
Speaker: What's your intent?
Speaker: I did hear a rumor that, you know, to everybody out there who loves, you asked me the question, what do you love more, a Bachelor or a Paradise?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I come across people who like both.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: Some people don't want to admit that Paradise is really what they look forward to.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: I know that people were bummed out, were disappointed there was no VIP last year.
Speaker: And I did hear a rumor that they're going to do whatever they got to do.
Speaker: Come hell or high water, they're going to have Bachelor in Paradise this year.
Speaker: Even if they don't do it in Mexico, even if they got to do it in the States.
Speaker: yeah so i don't know that sounds interesting to me okay i like it i like it i like are you coming back as the penguin or what no god no the penguin is dead
Speaker: I mean, that had its time and its place, but... That was a chance though.
Speaker: You took a chance that a lot of people won't do and you advanced.
Speaker: You made top six.
Speaker: People don't know you made top six your first time on TV.
Speaker: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker: Like that's far.
Speaker: You travel, you know, you got out the house, you experienced some things.
Speaker: We was on a boat in the middle of the Pacific, you know.
Speaker: I was scared shitless.
Speaker: It's like good to know.
Speaker: I'd swim back then.
Speaker: Like ocean sickness, you know.
Speaker: I'd swim back then.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Is that a long time ago to you?
Speaker: Yeah, it does.
Speaker: It does.
Speaker: So much has happened, you know.
Speaker: It's like, damn.
Speaker: It doesn't, but it does.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So much has happened.
Speaker: So much.
Speaker: If you ask me, could I see myself back doing that kind of thing again?
Speaker: Definitely, definitely.
Speaker: The truth of the matter is like, I mean, there's not a lot of dating going on.
Speaker: I mean, not meeting a lot of new people.
Speaker: I mean, so the opportunity to go where there's going to be a lot of single women.
Speaker: and be on the beach hopefully somewhere sipping tequila tequila let's get it i don't know if i could pass it up to be honest yeah man so we'll see what happens
Speaker: Well, look, man.
Speaker: In the meantime... What's your advice for everybody out here before we get off?
Speaker: Give them some quick advice.
Speaker: I mean, you gave a lot throughout, but just at the top of your mind right now, what's calling you or what's telling you what to say or... I mean, if I were to... I mean...
Speaker: you got it like you said you got to dance you got to move yeah baby you know I mean I mean it takes I just I just think the negativity right and I get caught up in it worse than anybody but like you know oh we got to get out of this this just got to end but I don't think I don't think I don't think to you know there it's okay to have that
Speaker: you know, have those thoughts some days, but just make sure the majority of the time, you know, you're looking forward to next summer when most people are vaccinated and, you know, we can start getting out there.
Speaker: I mean, even this summer wasn't too bad.
Speaker: Like people were out, restaurants were open, you can sit outside.
Speaker: I mean, I'm in the Northeast, wintertime can be a little tough, but we got about 10, 12 weeks of this.
Speaker: When you put it that way, it doesn't seem that bad.
Speaker: This will end.
Speaker: We'll get back to some sense of normalcy.
Speaker: And then from there, we will, you know, we will gradually get closer and closer to what we remember as normal.
Speaker: So, um,
Speaker: just do something every day.
Speaker: I mean, I break a sweat.
Speaker: That's my thing.
Speaker: But for whatever makes you feel better, you got to do something every day that just gets you on to the next day and the next day and the next day and we'll be there before we know it.
Speaker: It's not going to take that long.
Speaker: Good habits, man.
Speaker: Good habits.
Speaker: Yeah, just get in the habit of
Speaker: you know find something that just makes you feel good and uh try to be optimistic it's not easy yeah uh and we'll get there you know we're on our way baby it's miracle season man matt munton everybody follow him matt underscore munton on instagram i don't know if you're on twitter or facebook but matt munson he's the man follow him he's in connecticut what part of connecticut murden the middle of connecticut
Speaker: Yeah, half hour from Hartford, half hour from New Haven.
Speaker: I can't make excuses because you only asked me 10 different times, come out to LA when you coming out here.
Speaker: So, you know, we're going to make that happen soon too.
Speaker: And then you'll be coming out here.
Speaker: I need that energy.
Speaker: Yeah, and then make sure people are watching your story because there's always positivity.
Speaker: There's energy out there.
Speaker: I mean, people are asking me like, what are you... Because I put up a lot of quotes and things like that.
Speaker: And people are like, when did you get so preachy, basically?
Speaker: But I'm like, we can't have enough positivity.
Speaker: It's like all hands on top right now, you know?
Speaker: Yeah, it's healing, yeah.
Speaker: Your positive vibe out there.
Speaker: Yeah, it's part of the format, it's part of the path and the journey, man.
Speaker: I love you, man.
Speaker: I appreciate you, my brother from another.
Speaker: Keep winning, keep learning, keep evolving.
Speaker: And maybe we'll see you on TV soon, man.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: You never know.
Speaker: Amen.
Speaker: stay healthy stay wealthy inside out and be great man and uh yeah man just be maddy maddy nice maddy ice my guy i'm gonna talk to you soon all right bro okay
