Transcript
Sammi: Hello, I'm Sammy, and you're listening or watching a Rose Plate special, the most dramatic, podcast of The Bachelor ever.
Steve: Oh, hello. And I'm Steve.
Steve: Ever!
Sammi: Didn't I make it sound more exciting than the episode itself?
Steve: Oh my God. That episode was, I was just saying, I was like, there's never been a longer episode of television with less in it.
Sammi: Pretty good.
Steve: Also, so I hope everybody's listening and not watching.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: Cause I have a big zit right in the middle of my forehead.
Sammi: Everybody, everybody go over to YouTube. If you're not on YouTube right now, go look at that zit.
Steve: Yeah. Yeah. Drop drop ah drop a comment in and call me zit face.
Sammi: Actually, there are certain
Sammi: there are certain like pod catchers, too, that will like show our video rather than audio. I think it depends on your settings.
Steve: Oh, wow.
Sammi: Yeah. So, yeah, I know it's very.
Steve: A lot of people can know that I look like shit today.
Sammi: Very fancy, very fancy. I decided, you know, I'm like that weird person who like will start ah challenges for myself that I don't necessarily tell anyone about. I mean, I'm telling all of you right now, so I guess you'll know.
Sammi: Like one time when I worked, I worked at an accounting firm and I was like the colorful person in the office, right? They'd be like, that's just Sammy. We just let her, we we let her do whatever she wants, you know, whatever.
Steve: Shock of the century.
Sammi: and And then I had like I got it this idea and I was like, what if I dressed to a theme every week?
Steve: Mmm.
Sammi: So I would like wear the same whatever for a whole week and then I would switch the theme. And I was like, I'm going to do it until somebody comments on something I'm wearing. And I want to say I did it for like a hundred something days or more, maybe even several months, like six months, five, six months.
Steve: My God.
Sammi: I don't know um I have to look. um I did take a picture every day. So I have like an album. Do i have that close to me? I probably don't. I have an album with like everything I wore. So it's like I think I just started with like all red, all yellow. Like, i you know, like I went through the rainbow and did like, you know, wearing all one color one for a whole week.
Sammi: And then nobody noticed then. And then I think I did. can't remember what think I did like stripes. I did like all stripes for one week. I did all floral for one week.
Sammi: I did like um animals. I did food, like food earrings and stuff like that. And that was when someone caught wise, I think, was when I was wearing food earrings.
Sammi: They're like, I feel like you've worn food earrings every day this week.
Steve: Oh, and they're like,
Sammi: And I was like, that's the thing you noticed after all these like months of me doing this?
Steve: Congratulations.
Sammi: Yeah, so now my new challenge is I'm trying to wear a unique outfit every day to school. And I think I've got about like 60 to 65 days that I'll be on campus.
Steve: Okay.
Sammi: So that's like 60 plus original outfits. So anyway, so I'm wearing I'm wearing like a fun skirt.
Steve: That's a big challenge.
Sammi: It's like a very fun skirt. don't know if you can see it.
Steve: Oh my, very colorful.
Sammi: Yeah, it's very colorful. um And I'm teaching a lab with a kitchen this year. So I also have to make sure that like I have things that work with my clothes, toed shoes and that I don't mind getting dirty.
Steve: oh
Sammi: So I have to being very organized. And then I'm also got my new nails, which I sent you and made you guess.
Steve: e
Sammi: So.
Steve: I know, and it took me quite a while, but then when I got it, I was just like, oh my god. it's so It's so weird, too, because it's so it's so like niche, sportsy.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: but
Sammi: It is the most niche sports. OK, so this is what happened. So ah this is more interesting than the finale. So I went and got my nails done on Monday and i said I said to my husband, I'm like, what?
Sammi: I didn't have any ideas. Like I usually have ideas like I already have ideas for Halloween. You know what i mean? Like it's.
Steve: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Sammi: And i'm I'm about to book like all of my nail appointments for the semester. is So I'm like set. um And I was like, OK, well, what should I do with my nails? And it didn't take him long.
Sammi: I want to say he was buffering for no more than 15 to 30 seconds, maybe maybe less.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: And he just goes, Micah Parsons sweater. Yeah. And I was like, what do you mean? And I hadn't seen the press conference.
Steve: the
Sammi: I've been kind of out of the loop football wise for a while. I guess I'm like, I guess I got to jump back in And he's like, oh, my God, he wore this amazing striped sweater in his press conference. And I keep thinking about how good it is and how much I like it.
Sammi: And you should do your nails like that.
Steve: well
Sammi: So, yeah. So we did Micah Parsons sweater. So like the, you know, the fingers, most of my fingers are like the colors of the sweater. And then the middle finger is like the stripes that are on his shirt.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: ah cuff and like his collar had like red in it as well so we were we we like tried to color match as close as we could and anyway so um for all the people who like The Bachelor and also football because I know there's so many of them it's
Steve: Mm-hmm. It was really good.
Steve: All two of you...
Sammi: Specifically the Packers. I hope you enjoy that. um But yeah, so this episode, I really don't have a lot to say about it I guess the one thing that I would say is, okay, first what I'll say is, obviously the Goldens had to leave and self-eliminate because them taking the money would be not fun.
Steve: Yeah. i
Steve: Hilarious.
Sammi: Everybody would be like so mad.
Steve: yeah
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: No, and and again, this is why this is like the most, and I get this is the first time they're doing it this way. We've talked about the production changes. We've talked about, you know, just the format changes in general.
Steve: But my God, how could you have not predicted that it would shake out this way? Because, yeah, it's like the golden self eliminate.
Sammi: yeah
Steve: Everyone is an idiot because they're like, Oh, we want the strongest couples to stick around. Why?
Sammi: mm-hmm
Steve: you're Now you're playing for money. So who cares? ah The continued use of the rose ceremony, asinine, instead of just like getting rid of that in lieu of voting, all of this is coming to a head.
Steve: So what happens at the end? Nothing. Nothing, really. It's like, yeah, the Golden self-eliminate, which we kind of knew was coming. um they didn't They didn't stand a chance. There's one last physical challenge, which ultimately doesn't seem to matter all that much.
Steve: ah And also, it's a really good argument for why not keep the scrawny weenies around? I'd be keeping Goldens around everywhere, okay? You tell me the Goldens are going be able to like hold three times their body weight or whatever and over a pool? No.
Steve: And there's been multiple physical challenges. I would have kept Goldens everywhere.
Sammi: I think they only got up to like 40% of their body weight or something like that combined.
Steve: And...
Steve: Yeah. It's still a lot.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: I mean, i would I would shrivel and die. You should keep me around. But... No, it's like, who do we got there? We got Juicehead Dale. We've got you know ah Spencer, who's who's pretty jacked. we All he's got, Andrew, he's he's jacked.
Steve: I don't want jacked dudes. I want skin and bones against me. yeah So all of this is dumb. And then it doesn't matter because... Everybody comes back and it's supposed to be this big dramatic moment where they can, you know, vote other people in to potentially like get money or something like it's weird.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: And then lo and behold, of course, Dale and Kat are gone. And that's it. Like, that's it. That's the whole thing. And then even at the end, too, it's just like, whoa, are they going to choose love are they going to choose money? They're going to choose love because they're dumb.
Steve: You know, and then and then there's this kind of like mea culpa thing at the end where they're like, oh, well, you chose love instead of money. But here's some envelopes with significantly less money, but still a lot of money.
Steve: So pick one. Maybe you'll get some money. they're like, wow, I won $90,000. Yeah, you yeah you did But like, you could have won $250. You know what I do? I go to my girl. I say, listen, you're going to choose love.
Steve: I'm going to choose money. Put on the crocodile tears. I'm going to walk with that $250 bag. I'll see on the other side, toots. We're still dating. That's what you do.
Sammi: Well, but here's what happened. Okay. So we obviously, it's like very obvious to us that this is like a game theory question. This is like the same thing that happened in the dark night.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: Okay. So if you don't realize that, then you're not paying attention, right? It's like, if you both pick the same thing, you, you know, if you both pick the good thing you win, if you both pick the, you know, bad, you know, the, the selfish thing you lose, right?
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: Whatever.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: Um, But I don't necessarily know if they talked about that beforehand. There's a couple things playing here. I understand why they decided the way that they did at the end. um I don't want to. I will go back to the the controversies and and the people coming back and all of that, because i do want to talk about that a little bit.
Steve: yeah
Sammi: But I do understand why they did what they did. Just just to argue for why they made those choices. first of all once they got to the final two they immediately separated them so that they couldn't talk in scheme they should have probably known that this was coming before that because to me it's like patently obvious but who knows they might have made it more obvious to us than them um how this was going to roll because i mean they they said it was five hundred thousand dollars and then it's like well actually it's 250 like you know it's like that's also kind of confusing right um
Steve: yeah
Steve: yeah it's $250 because your friends voted for other people to potentially get money sure
Sammi: Yeah, it's very it's very weird, right? Like, that that whole thing was weird because it was like the money, like, dwindled immediately.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: But, like, I think there is something...
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: I think if it was like in the early years of The Bachelor, if it was like pre-Instagram Bachelor, it would be so easy to say that you would make a decision like that because you wouldn't be subject to like a lot of hate online.
Steve: yeah
Sammi: You know what I mean? Because it's like, even though we know it's a game, we know most of the villains are fake, you know, like some of the likable people are actually terrible because it's not real, right?
Sammi: um But But there is it is very real that like even the people who are very well liked on this show get death threats. I mean, for the most innocuous bullshit stuff, like do we bitch and complain about people being annoying or, you know, whatever ridiculous?
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Steve: Totally.
Sammi: Yeah, of course.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: But we don't go like and outside of the people I like commenting something supportive about. I'm not going to go out of my way to post a hate comment to someone on reality television.
Steve: No.
Sammi: Like, literally, I have no energy to do that. And I think that's so silly.
Steve: Yep.
Sammi: But I do think just in the way that, like... um Oh, my God. Brendan and Piper. Right. When they were on, it's like you can see how social media has changed the show when like Brendan and Piper get vilified for talking about things that are really going to happen. I mean, they were not smart to do it on the show. They shouldn't have. um But it's like it is real. It is true.
Steve: now
Sammi: um And, you know, like when John Paul Jones was on the date and and whoever he was, I can't remember who was on the date with, but she was like, don't eat the date. You can't eat the date food. Right. Like, you know, it's like it's all this weird stuff that there's always like fourth wall breaking in the show now because.
Sammi: there is this constant thought of how am I going to be perceived when I go home? Like Leia was perceived more as a kind of like a mild villain, like a like a lukewarm villain um and obviously got like a better edit on Paradise.
Steve: Yeah.
Steve: I like that.
Sammi: um But it's like, yeah, like people come there to rehab their image. People come there and yeah, people come there to like support their businesses and get brand deals when they come on the other side and all of that.
Sammi: And anything, any decision that they make, it's like you could look at it like if i took the two hundred fifty thousand dollars and I looked like a villain and i walked away. And even if I was still dating that person, I could get eaten alive by social media.
Steve: No.
Sammi: And I that and that means that I might not get as many followers or people might drop off or whatever.
Steve: Brand deals, yeah.
Sammi: Yes. And the brand deals that I lose could cost more, could cost me more than taking the lower check right now.
Steve: Yeah, that's true.
Sammi: So actually think it is good strategy to to choose love. um
Steve: Sammy played the long game. I would brand myself as the ultimate villain. That's...
Sammi: Well, that's the thing. See, I would...
Steve: And then I get on Traitors, and then I get on that Villain House show.
Sammi: That's true. You could do it that way, too. But it's a longer road and sometimes it's not as lucrative.
Steve: ah Yeah, and you got to commit to the bit.
Sammi: Right.
Steve: Like, do you want to be a heel for the rest of your life?
Sammi: Yeah. It's it takes like a lot of energy, you know.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: um Yeah. So I think that's i my my. strategy would definitely be like, be cool with everybody.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: you know Be cool with everybody. Be the person who cooks in the house. Be the person who provides the entertainment. you know That's what I would do. so you know In favor of maybe less money, but maybe more people would be like, she's relatable.
Sammi: I like her. you know so like she didn't get a lot of airtime but she is kind of she's kind of spunky I like I like that one you know like that's that would be my my goal or the way I wanted Parisa to play this game it would have been great to see her be like the total weirdo on the beach that she is like but that's okay she is doing it on social media the
Steve: yeah
Steve: Yeah.
Steve: Oh, yeah. No. No. Instead, she settled for dating the worst man!
Sammi: No, her Instagram, though, is you can watch fun videos of her like pretending to be like David Attenborough. um So that's your kind of thing.
Steve: ha!
Sammi: They're really good. I think they're really funny. um But yeah, so let's talk about. So we get down to, you know, these final three couples, right? There's there's Cat and Dale.
Sammi: There's Andrew and Alex. And wait, no. Yeah. And then there's Spencer and Jess because Jeremy and Bailey go home and Kathy and Keith go home.
Steve: who
Sammi: Right. Yeah. I'm not wrong about that.
Steve: Yep.
Sammi: That's how it went.
Steve: Nope.
Sammi: And then it's this just we just watched this on Tuesday. What is my brain at first week of school brain first week of school brain. So then they do this. Yeah. It's weird because it's like they did all these like faith, trust, relationship, strength challenges.
Sammi: And then at the very end, they're like, well, now we're going to do physical strength. Okay, I guess. It just seems kind of weird, but I don't know what I would want the final challenge to be, but I think if it had just been the people like voting down to the final two...
Steve: Cool.
Sammi: Maybe that would have been more compelling. I don't know. There's something about it that just like didn't work for me. um Because because here's the deal. Like we have. Yeah. Like you said, all the former contestants come back. It feels very like the way I remember Survivor to be when I used to watch Survivor.
Sammi: You know, it's like they're coming back and you got to face them and everything.
Steve: who
Sammi: By the way, are we watching the new season of Survivor? Because I feel like we are.
Steve: I probably should based on the stuff you sent me.
Sammi: I'm like, I'm obsessed with some of the people that they have chosen. Like, we've got little guy energy. And someone who was like, well, I'm not, I'm around, I've never been around this many straight people before.
Steve: but
Sammi: I'm so excited. I'm like, this is like, this is what we want in TV. And this is what The Bachelor doesn't understand.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: It's like, can I can't tell you how many comment sections I've looked at that are like, we want James and Aaron. Okay. We don't want this bullshit. Like,
Steve: No bullshit.
Sammi: That's what we want. We want bromances. We want, you know, it's like they don't understand like the fun that we want to see on TV. They're just like not getting it. And then they're like, we're going to pull little elements from all these different TV shows and maybe it will mix together at work and it's not working.
Sammi: It's like try something different, like or just go back to Bessie people on the beach.
Steve: Nope.
Sammi: Okay. Who don't have their own comfy rooms.
Steve: Nothing wrong with that.
Sammi: So it's very frustrating to watch. But anyway. um Yeah. So we have this like survivor like thing. Right. Like um and they're like, you got to answer and, you you know, one last conversation. and And here's the other annoying thing. It's they're like they're indulging Sean, which like he doesn't need to be encouraged.
Sammi: Okay. He just like doesn't need to be encouraged at all.
Steve: Thank you.
Sammi: So he's like, ah we're going do a pile of into paradise. They thought it was a good idea. And so they brought me back to do this. And I'm just like, oh, so ah so anyway, they they do this thing.
Steve: she
Sammi: And the only like he had like laid a kernel right before. And then they came back and they're like, well, here's the bombshell. OK, Kat has been with this guy from back home.
Sammi: And she's smuggled in a laptop and she's sending him messages and we have the receipts. But here's the thing. Did we see the receipts?
Steve: We did not see the receipts.
Sammi: We did not see the receipts. And what do we know about reality TV?
Steve: Gotta have receipts.
Sammi: Got to have receipts. If it didn't, have if if it, if a camera didn't catch it, probably didn't happen.
Steve: Didn't happen.
Sammi: They would show it because it's good TV.
Steve: Yep.
Sammi: What is the incentive for not showing it?
Steve: Yep. Yeah. I mean, and there were rumors. We talked about this. There's like rumors swirling about this. ah
Sammi: like secret messages on her arms and stuff like that Yeah.
Steve: but
Steve: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But who knows?
Sammi: I don't know.
Steve: ah
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: But but ah apparently, i mean, i don't I don't know if you want to talk about who's together still now or if you want to save that to the end.
Sammi: Yeah. No, we we can talk about it now. That's fine.
Steve: ah Dave and Kat. ah Dave?
Sammi: Dave?
Steve: he
Sammi: Who's Dave?
Steve: Who's Dave? Dale and Kat.
Sammi: That's North Dakota ah version of Dale is Dave. This is South Dakota.
Steve: Dale and Kat are still together.
Sammi: They are.
Steve: which is shocking because I don't know. He looks like an Easter Island statue. She's messy. What do you, who knew?
Sammi: Hey, good for them, I guess.
Steve: But here's the weird thing. And I doubt this was planned, but she's pregnant. So,
Sammi: Oh, I missed that part.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: Oh, wow, that's exciting.
Steve: And it was weird because it was like a classic, like they're still together, but in a bachelor kind of way thing. it's just like, well, they're splitting time between their two hometowns and they see each other when they can. And then whoopsie poopsie.
Sammi: I didn't know that.
Steve: She's pregnant.
Sammi: How did I miss that? Did that just come out?
Steve: Just came out. I just saw it today.
Sammi: I saw the hard launch, but wait... Or I saw like a message about, okay. Interesting. Interesting. Because I saw something about like, um like, because they were on like the vile files or whatever.
Sammi: um and I didn't think, yeah, they didn't talk about it on the vile files. And that was like two days ago. Wow.
Steve: Well...
Sammi: Or I don't think they talked about it. I mean, I just read the recap. Like I'm listening to the vile files. No. um Interesting. Well, OK, so what I heard is that are you sure that that's real?
Steve: I'm pretty sure...
Sammi: Where did this happen? I'm Googling it and I don't see it.
Steve: Uh, my, my friend, John sent me an article.
Sammi: Source, source, source.
Steve: Let me, hold on. I'll, I'll, I'll grab the article from, uh, from the Instagram message that he excitedly sent me.
Sammi: Okay, because, yeah, I want to hear it because I don't see it anywhere, and i I want to see it.
Steve: Okay. Hold on.
Sammi: I want to make sure that this is real, okay? Because I don't want to break some fake news on our podcast. I have journalistic integrity.
Steve: Okay.
Sammi: um Okay, as you look that up, I'll just chat a little bit. So the things that I heard about Cat and Dale were that, like, They talked about it. um Kat did admit that she was dating someone up until Bachelor in Paradise. Did not expect to fall for somebody. it Sounds like the relationship wasn't that great. Whatever. Dale was like, I'm okay with like, you know, we've talked about it. I'm okay with it. Whatever.
Sammi: um So those are the things that I heard. um And yeah, and this is this is my point, too. This is so this is like a Bachelor Nation article.
Steve: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Sammi: um And she says um she said, so when so when did I sneak something in? And if we think that this show wouldn't take the time to show me playing on that iPad or laptop, I'm saying in general.
Sammi: They weren't trying to hide anything. So it's like, where is that? That's not a fair assumption to make that I was out here texting this man consistently. And I know for a fact that that's not what he said. And I know for a fact that he did not say we were in a relationship. relationship um The perception that I've heard and the argument that I believe is that someone said that like Sean...
Sammi: maybe felt like he was closer to Kat than he was, seemed like a little bit of an ego bruise thing and a way to like get back at her. I think that's plausible. um Who knows? But that's what I think. Okay. What did you find out?
Steve: Here's what I found out. ah The article that John sent me, it's a little dicey. Apparently, there's a picture of Kat and Dale, and people were just arguing in the comments because they thought that she was holding a pregnancy test.
Steve: ah However, to me, it looks like a vape. So...
Sammi: Oh, okay.
Steve: but But the headline is just like, Dale and Kat launch pregnancy, blah, blah, blah. And I just saw that. And I assumed that that John would send me a legitimate source. But obviously, as ah as a person who cares deeply about media literacy, I did not exercise checking my sources there.
Steve: And I apologize profusely.
Sammi: Yeah, as soon as you said that, I went, source, source, yeah.
Steve: who Not pregnant, which is good.
Sammi: Oh, my. Well, she would be good no matter what. OK, she can do whatever she wants.
Steve: It's fine. She do whatever she wants. I don't want Dale's baby.
Sammi: She can do it. She's an adult. She is.
Steve: there
Sammi: ah She she can do whatever she want. She wants. um But anyway, I didn't know she was a family nurse practitioner.
Steve: who
Sammi: Good for you, Kat. Good for you. um Anyway, the. ah
Steve: I am glad that we finally got a cat breakdown on the show because, you know, she'd...
Sammi: the
Sammi: That's true. That's true. Anyway. Okay. Sorry for spreading such spurious lies on our show.
Steve: Anus rumors! not sorry Blame John.
Sammi: I'm blaming you. I'm blaming you. Cause you brought, you brought, you sullied our show.
Steve: all All I did was trust my friend, which I'll never do again.
Sammi: Just kidding.
Sammi: Yeah. Never. Don't trust anybody.
Steve: Yeah. Don't trust anyone. This is paradise.
Sammi: Yeah. This is paradise.
Steve: I'm not here to make friends.
Sammi: It's cutthroat.
Steve: Don't trust anyone. $500,000 are on the line.
Sammi: There's a parliament or whatever. um
Sammi: So, yeah. So anyway, they do this physical challenge. Right. And i had a feeling that, yeah, that the yeah, that the it wasn't going to be Spencer and Jessica's come on, it would be way too easy.
Sammi: Right.
Steve: Yeah. Yeah.
Sammi: If they could just slide right through all of this and and not, you know, make it through or whatever. so So they um they did not win. It was Alex and Andrew who won.
Sammi: Wait, and then we get to the final. Yeah, then we get to this parliament. Sorry, my brain is like all back.
Steve: yeah
Sammi: I swear to God, all I'm thinking about is like canvas pages. Okay, And order forms and meetings and emails and all that stuff. So sorry, everybody.
Sammi: i know what happened on this show. um Because it was so interesting. So I was paying very close attention.
Steve: ah compelling television.
Sammi: So, yeah. But, yeah, I just think the weight of the world thing, it was like, okay, I understand that it's like, well, you do have all strong couples here, so you're not going to do another couple challenge.
Sammi: But, like, what would you have done? Would you have done it any differently had there been, like, couples and just buds on the show? You know what i mean?
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: Like, that's the thing. what It gets convoluted when you don't lay out the rules at the beginning. I understand why they dropped it on them. Cause it's like shocking, makes it interesting. There's a twist, whatever.
Sammi: But then it just muddies the waters on the finalists and on the challenges. And it just makes everything feel disorganized. so like, that's where the problem happens.
Steve: Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Sammi: Um, But yeah, I figure like Kat and Dale weren't going to make it to the final anyway. So it didn't surprise me that, you know, that they voted Jess and Spencer in. Like, first of all, they don't have anything to lose by doing that, because I think the thing that would have been interesting was.
Sammi: is if the final or if the people who had left came back and one of them had a chance to like in the final.
Steve: Oh, yeah.
Sammi: That would have been way more interesting. like you get ah You get a second chance at making your case and coming back to life, and that would have been so much more interesting.
Steve: Yep.
Steve: Well, yeah. And then other other than Sean, like nobody talks shit or really did anything. They're just like, oh, let's have some drinks. Yay. My friends are here.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: That's not fun. That's not drama.
Sammi: Well, and that is I think it is fun when everyone's getting along. I think that's more fun. Like I really those are my favorite moments on Paradise is when everybody's getting along and just shooting the shit and doing goofy stuff like, you know, that like what that mouth do or whatever the hell Raven was playing a few years ago.
Steve: Yep.
Sammi: Like, you know, it's like just let them be goofy on the beach, play dolphins and all that stuff like, ah you know, Alexis was doing. Um, that's fun. But at the end, if you're going to make it dramatic, then yeah, everyone should be dramatic and everyone should bring it. And that's what I'm saying. It's just like, it's just muddy the whole time. It's just muddy.
Steve: you know
Sammi: um yeah, I have a note that says this episode is so unnecessarily wrong long. Like it could have been a one hour episode. It could have been an email. um And then they're like, OK, so then they get to the end.
Sammi: Right. And they're in the final two. And then it's like and we have another twist because the money isn't the prize. It's the final test, which is not a twist because we all knew it was coming.
Steve: Yeah, we figured.
Sammi: This is how these shows work. And so it's like, OK. And also they didn't actually verify if they both pick money, if they would both get money.
Steve: Yeah, that was, i assume they both did nothing if they both picked money.
Sammi: Because $500,000 was, well, but they always said $500,000. And the suitcase or the briefcase or whatever had $250,000.
Steve: Yeah, that's true.
Sammi: So I was like, could they both leave with money?
Steve: who
Sammi: Have half a million dollars and then date each other?
Steve: I guess maybe.
Sammi: That would have been the smartest outcome.
Steve: that would have been the smartest outcome. Yes.
Sammi: Because then they none of them would look like dicks and they'd have they would have a million dollars between the four of them.
Steve: they're all gamers They're not gamers, though. like There's nobody that's a gamer on this.
Sammi: Right. They're not thinking about it this way.
Steve: yeah that's That's why, if you're going to do this again, first of all, iron out all the crap here, because this is like it's way too hodgy-podgy.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: But you can have like a bros against couples situation, too.
Sammi: Right. That's what I'm saying. Like, imagine if an Aaron and James was like in the final, like that would be interesting.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: Like, you know, even yeah, even having friends or whatever, you know, like that um Faith brought Kathy on a date. It's like, yeah, you should be able to like choose anybody to be the person that you want to be in paradise with for the rest of the time.
Steve: Yeah.
Steve: But the only thing is, it's like Bachelor is so anti-homey. It's insane.
Sammi: Right. Right.
Steve: Like they, they want everything, like everyone on the show, they're just like, no, the couples that aren't madly in love with each other, they don't deserve the money. Why the fuck not? You got someone you're in love with.
Sammi: Right.
Steve: Can someone who didn't find love maybe have a hundred thousand dollars or something? That sounds great. What a wonderful consolation prize. Yeah.
Sammi: Right. But they are homophobic is the problem.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: So that's it.
Steve: Homophobic.
Sammi: That's the issue.
Steve: No buds on The Bachelor.
Sammi: Yeah. It's just so it's just like, come on, homophobic.
Steve: Can we trademark that? Homophobic?
Sammi: ah we did We just we just did.
Steve: I'm not here to make friends because it's frowned upon in Bachelor Nation.
Sammi: Because the bachelor nation is homophobic.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: Yeah. It's like every once in a while they're like, we have someone on the show who's by and a tiny thing will happen about it, but that's it.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: Um,
Steve: As close as you get. Mm-hmm.
Sammi: Yeah, they're like, you get one bi storyline every three years and that's it. no like Okay, that's fine. It's not fine. um But anyway, so okay, so Andrew and Alex, yeah, they choose love.
Sammi: And like I said, they it's the only good way to play the game without getting vilified. They get $125,000. So it's not $250,000, but they don't walk away with nothing. And this is the most interesting part is that they decided to use it to pay off Alex's student loans.
Sammi: And good on you, Andrew. You must think that you're going to be in it for the long haul because that's a very kind thing to do.
Steve: Yeah, that's nice. Mm-hmm.
Sammi: That is a very kind thing to do as someone with student loans.
Steve: Agreed.
Sammi: Good job. Um, and then, um Spencer and Jess, they also obviously choose love. That would be very weird if they didn't. Um, they get $190,000, which is such a random number and, but good for them.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: They, they walked away with the most money. And of course, Spencer proposes. And I was a little surprised to have Jess say yes, um Oh, by the way, our predictions, like we yeah there's a clip of our predictions or my predictions posted on like social media and stuff.
Steve: you believe
Sammi: And someone was like, um, they actually showed that Spencer and Jess get engaged in the previews. And I was like, first of all, this was from last week.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: And secondly, that stuff is always misleading. You never know. You never know.
Steve: It's true. It's true.
Sammi: But like someone was trying to be like, um, I was like,
Steve: um Actually, Sammy, if you watch the previews that and you and you check closely, you can see Spencer getting down on one knee, thus indicating that he proposes to Jess. Shut up!
Steve: You nerd!
Sammi: We're just kidding. um
Steve: No, we love you. when Yeah.
Sammi: Yeah, thanks for watching our videos.
Steve: We're not homophobic. We love our buds.
Sammi: Yeah, we're not homophobic.
Sammi: ah But yeah, like it's the it's the only way you could end the show. Like, I mean, I didn't think there would be more than one engagement, but my prediction was like Bailey and Jeremy because of how much Bailey was defending, you know, Jeremy.
Sammi: So that was that was why I thought that.
Steve: who
Sammi: And I still think that that is a good reason to think that. And they are still together.
Steve: there you go uh so far uh all the may all the major final couples are are together still um also i checked it doesn't look like parisa and brian are together still although i can't confirm one way or the other uh but they don't yeah i well yeah because she doesn't well i mean she doesn't even follow brian on instagram so
Sammi: so
Sammi: Yeah.
Sammi: I thought Parisa had a new boyfriend.
Sammi: I heard i well, this is here. Here's my unverified whatever. ah Yeah, I heard she had a new boyfriend.
Steve: That was the rumor on the street. She had a new boyfriend, but like confirmed basically by the fact that her and Brian are following each other, which thank the Lord. um But yeah, everybody seems to be together still.
Steve: Jeremy and Bailey are still together. um ah Dale and and Kat still together. No child though, despite horrible rumors spread by who knows who.
Sammi: Yeah, really monstrous people. um Okay, yeah. So on Bachelor Happy Hour, which I did not listen to yet, Brian and Parisa were on there and they did confirm that they split up.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Steve: and Okay.
Sammi: Yeah, they were like, it was a good run.
Steve: Which, thank God.
Sammi: um Yeah.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: And it sounds like that they were being, they're friends still.
Steve: Good.
Sammi: um
Steve: Good.
Sammi: It was an amicable blow i am amrable split, um but also apparently awkward.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: That's what this is. I have not listened to it, like I said, but i maybe I will. Maybe I will. um ah Other big news, ah my Jillybox finally.
Sammi: finally cleared customs today.
Steve: Thank the Lord.
Sammi: Thank you. oh my God. But I do have bad news for you all. Wait, did I mention this last week?
Steve: You got to pay a tariff?
Sammi: Well, yeah. Did I mention this last week? This is the last jelly box.
Steve: the
Sammi: This is the last one.
Steve: Yeah. Basically, every small business that I know in Canada does isn't going to ship to America anymore.
Sammi: Yeah, they're not tripping here.
Steve: Like, yep.
Sammi: So um we will do a final like Jilly unboxing. um I don't know, probably next week. And we still have to do Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. So um maybe we'll double up or I don't know, something like that.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: But... um
Steve: New season of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives couple months away.
Sammi: Oh my God.
Steve: And there's Mormon dancing with the stars.
Sammi: I got to finish this season still. Oh yeah. I do want to cover that too. I do not want to miss that at all. um But yeah, I will say one thing is I, ah yeah, I'm very sad about the Jilly box, but I'm going to put it out there to our viewers and our listeners.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: If there is another like bachelor nation product that that you want me because in the past I've bought from like Raven has a clothing store.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: i bought some clothing from her.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: I still have one of the coats that I bought from her and like a and like a pajama set. um And those were both really cute. ah But I know that there's other Bachelor Nation people who like sell stuff like and run stores and stuff like that.
Sammi: If there's anybody you think has like good stuff that you want to see me like buy and review on the show, I'm happy to do it. um And hopefully like the Jillybox thing is not going to last forever. i know they're bummed about it. I'm bummed about it.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: um But hey, we'll have one more. but we'll ah you know We'll go out with a bang and then we'll see what we can do from there. um But yeah, I do. Yeah, I want to do more Mormon Wives.
Sammi: I want to do more books. um And then the new season starts in like a couple of weeks.
Steve: Yup.
Sammi: I was like, we're going to get a little bit of a break. No, we're not. gold But are we OK? So that here's the thing. Are we going to watch The Golden Bachelor? I mean, I think we have to. Right. I know a bunch of people are boycotting it, but I feel like we I mean, even if we're hate watching it, we yeah will save you the view.
Steve: Yeah, we kind to have to.
Steve: yeah
Sammi: You don't have to. Here's the deal. Here's here's my pitch to you, podcast listeners and viewers. Okay, you want to protest the show. i think that's great.
Sammi: And if I was a regular, just a regular viewer, you know, a regular Joan, if you will, i would not watch the season of The Golden Bachelor because this guy sucks.
Steve: No, he sucks.
Sammi: But this is what you're going to do. This is what you do. when When you want to hate watch, right, but you don't want to give someone a view, don't want to give them the ratings, you want to give them anything, just tune in to our show. We'll cover it for you.
Sammi: You don't need to watch it.
Steve: There you go.
Sammi: Guilt-free.
Steve: That's the way to do it.
Sammi: Yeah.
Steve: That's way to do it.
Sammi: Yeah. It's sustainable in some way.
Steve: Yeah. And I love hate watching problematic media.
Sammi: It saves the planet somehow.
Steve: That's that's what I do best.
Steve: Not a problem.
Sammi: ah Yeah. So, well, anyway, well, that's my pitch. That's my pitch to you. um Anything else you want to talk about? Because I feel like there's nothing else to talk about on this episode.
Steve: No, there's there's really not.
Sammi: We should have done some kind of double feature today, but we didn't.
Steve: This was a, well, I mean, who knew? I didn't know it was going to be a wet fart of an episode until I watched it yesterday.
Sammi: Yeah, i was kind of a sinker. Good timing because it is, like I said, the first week of school.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: So my brain is, I feel like I say that every week. I'm like, my brain is gone for this reason. But like, this is a special new reason.
Steve: This is a special reason why my brain is fried.
Sammi: This is a new semester reason.
Steve: Yeah.
Sammi: Oh, OK.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: I'll give a quick movie recommendation to people because i just saw a great movie yesterday and it's not playing everywhere. But if you can find it by you, should watch it. And that is Lurker.
Sammi: You should go see Lurker.
Steve: Ooh, it's kind of...
Sammi: Did you see Lurker?
Steve: No, haven't seen it, but I've read a lot about it, and I've seen the little clips and trailer, and it looks really cool.
Sammi: Yeah, you should go see it if you can if if you can find it by you. um i know Mubi is releasing it here.
Steve: Okay.
Sammi: So if you have a Mubi subscription, you can also I'm guessing it's not there right now, but I'm guessing it'll be out in like a few weeks or something like that.
Steve: Mm-hmm.
Sammi: That is usually what happens. Like that's what happened with the substance. It like played, you know, through Mubi. And then I think like three or four weeks later, like after it kind of had its run, then it came on.
Sammi: So, M-U-B-I, friends, if you're not on there, you should be because they have like the best movies and it's not that expensive. OK, so you shouldn't do that. Have you are you a Mubi subscriber?
Steve: I'm not a movie man, unfortunately.
Sammi: I feel like you of all people should have Mubi.
Steve: No, I know. Should be the movie guy. I know.
Sammi: It's like the best one.
Steve: I know.
Sammi: It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you should.
Steve: It really is good. Yeah, I should. But.
Sammi: Everyone, okay, here's your job. Between now and the next time we record, which will be our Jillybox episode and probably Jillybox Mormon Wives, I think that goes kind of well together.
Sammi: We're talking about consumerism a lot in Mormon Wives. I think that's good.
Steve: yup
Sammi: um Yeah, get a movie subscription, okay, and go watch some really good movies because they have some of the best movies. And that's all I have to say.
Steve: yup yeah why not put it on your to-do list yeah get the fuck out of here
Sammi: Oh, also, um you know, and everyone's getting sick right now, but you can go get vaccinated. So you should go do that. OK. And if and if you're an anti-vaxxer, why are you even listening?
Sammi: but so but have you not paid attention to us? Go public health is is is everybody is health for everybody. So go be healthy.
Steve: Yeah. And don't do needle drugs.
Sammi: Except for vaccines.
Steve: Except for facts that's not a needle drug, though.
Sammi: See, that's how I did it.
Steve: That's like a... That's fine. Good.
Sammi: That's a good kind of needle drug.
Steve: Oh. How fun was it watching RFK get dragged? That was so funny.
Sammi: I watch a lot of that live.
Steve: That was really good.
Steve: Suck a butt, RFK.
