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08. When You Feel Like Giving Up On Your Dreams: Vulnerable Share + Inspiration to Keep Going
43 Plays2 years ago
Welcome friend! If you have been feeling stuck either personally, spiritually, or professionally this episode is for you!
I share a channeled message that came to me from Spirit during a recent breakdown I had. Growth is difficult and evolving on the spiritual path and building a conscious business is not easy. There will be times we feel like giving up but in those moments, when we decide instead to keep going...that leads to the real breakthrough.
I share the message that I needed to hear and that I think it will serve you as well. I also share the practices and tools I use to stay course when things feel really hard.
You're not in this alone and sharing real stories of what we're actually going through is what gives us the strength to keep going.
If you're loving this podcast, please rate and review on iTunes, it would mean the absolute world to me! <3
We can connect on Instagram at: www.instagram.com/iamellisamae
You can book your Human Design or Gene Keys reading with me at: https://calendly.com/byellisamccoy
The juicy Spiritual Leap community I referred to: https://theleapcommunity.mn.co
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Transcript
Introduction and Purpose Struggles
00:00:02
Speaker
Hello, my friend. Welcome to the It's Happening for Me podcast. My name is Alyssa. I am your host, and I am so happy you're here this week. So this week, we are going to be talking about something that is super alive for me. It's been super alive for me in the past couple of weeks, and that is how do we continue to
00:00:26
Speaker
go on the path of pursuing our purpose, of pursuing our dreams, of pursuing our goals, when we feel like things just aren't moving, when we feel like things are stuck, when we feel like things aren't happening fast enough, when we feel like we're not making a difference, and we start to question ourselves, and we start to question our worth, we start to question
00:00:51
Speaker
Are we even on the right path and I have been feeling that super heavy and probably the past like three weeks and so and I honestly I fluctuate or I guess like oscillate through these feelings of feeling like
00:01:07
Speaker
very driven, very on point, like super lit up with what I'm doing. And then I'll kind of go through periods where I feel like, wait, is this even making a difference? I don't think anybody cares. Nobody cares what I have to say. This is stupid. I sound stupid. I don't know enough. And so it's like kind of going back and forth between those kind of like two polarities.
Challenges and Breakthroughs
00:01:31
Speaker
And I wanted to share this because I have really
00:01:37
Speaker
had to tap into the practices, the community, and spirit and the things that I know can help me move forward when I feel like giving up because I have been feeling like giving up often in the past three weeks more than usual.
00:01:58
Speaker
The other kind of like good news about this or I guess like exciting thing is that I know my soul knows that whenever it feels like really challenging we usually are on the other side of breakthrough and we're really being called to like
00:02:16
Speaker
hold it, hold the vision, hold the energy, continue to show up for ourselves, and there's probably a major shift that's about to happen.
Facade of Success and Transparency
00:02:25
Speaker
And I think a lot of people can relate to this, and I think that people don't talk about it often enough. We want to
00:02:34
Speaker
put on this, not like a front, but I guess it kind of is a front of like, oh, everything is working out. I'm so successful. Like I don't have anything. There's no problems on my side. Like everything is going amazing. And so I used to do that a lot in my life, like with my family, especially as like a Capricorn.
00:02:54
Speaker
I don't really like to talk about my feelings or my emotions unless it's like someone who's very close to me and so always kind of like having to put on this I guess like outer facade of like oh everything's perfect everything's fine on this side when really it's like
00:03:13
Speaker
Oh my god, like, am I on the right fucking path? Like, is this what I'm supposed to be doing? And so this is for all of my babes out there who are on the spiritual path or who are on the path to purpose. You feel like things are just not going your way and you're wondering, what the hell am I even doing? Is this for nothing?
00:03:34
Speaker
This is also really going to be directed towards like all of my peers and friends who are spiritual life coaches, healers, people who are solo entrepreneurs in the spiritual space.
Emotional Breakdown and Divine Guidance
00:03:46
Speaker
And maybe you can relate to this of like building your dream business, whether you are fully in it and working full time in it, or if you're someone in the transitionary period who is working your nine to five and pouring everything into your
00:04:01
Speaker
purpose into your business on the side and you're just like what the hell why are things not unfolding faster this episode is for you so okay so i want to say it was maybe like two weeks ago i felt like i was kind of back on track like i was back on
00:04:24
Speaker
following all of the routines that I know helped me to be successful. And so I was like, okay, I'm, you know, I'm moving my body, I'm getting my steps in. I'm drinking the water. I'm meditating again consistently. But so I was like doing the things but I still felt like
00:04:46
Speaker
kind of like a shadow over me, over like, am I really living my purpose? And then it was a Monday, I think, and I left work and I got in my car to go on my commute home. My commute was like an hour and a half that day because there was so much traffic.
00:05:02
Speaker
And I just started crying, like sobbing. And I was like, I felt defeated. I felt defeated. I felt like I don't want to do this anymore. Nothing that I do works. Like nothing that I do matters. I'm so tired of social media. Why am I even trying? Why am I even putting myself out there?
00:05:22
Speaker
like I don't know if this is even the right path anymore and I was just like crying and like asking spirit like God let me know if this is not what you want me to do let me know because I just want to be used
00:05:37
Speaker
in the way that you want me to be used. I want to serve you. I want to serve my brothers and sisters and be of service. I know that my soul came here to help others and maybe what I'm doing right now isn't what I'm supposed to be doing. Do you not want me to focus on human design and jean keys anymore?
00:06:00
Speaker
Am I obsessed with this for no reason? Am I being distracted? Am I not supposed to be a spiritual life coach? Am I not supposed to help people understand their design? What do you want from me? And I was just crying and crying and felt like,
00:06:18
Speaker
Nothing's working out for me. This is taking so long. I've been trying to build my business for years. And why is it going so slow? And I have nothing to offer. I'm inadequate. And just all of the shadows were coming up. And then I got this download from God, from Spirit Source. And it was telling me that, Alyssa,
00:06:44
Speaker
what you are going through right now is not for nothing. You are living your purpose, you are on the path of purpose, and this is part of it. This seemingly nothingness, this seemingly stuckness is what your soul needs so that you know what it feels like to long for something so bad
00:07:10
Speaker
to want to help others, to want to be living your purpose, to have things figured out so bad that it's breaking you, that it's making you feel like giving up, that it's making you feel like you need to throw in the towel that this isn't meant for you. You're not meant to be an entrepreneur. You're not meant to lead others. You're not meant to share your voice. You're not meant to do anything.
00:07:32
Speaker
because once you get through this, like we basically, we want you to feel like you want to quit so fucking bad that you quit.
00:07:42
Speaker
But then when you don't quit, then you see the magic that was on the other side. And that is how you're gonna help transform people because you will help them know that it's okay, keep going. This is part of the process. It's not supposed to be easy. And I'm supposed to feel this like inner turmoil
Gospel Music and Emotional Release
00:08:02
Speaker
so bad and continue going and moving through it and not give up and just be this like,
00:08:10
Speaker
this curious, courageous person, because it's shaping me to help others when they also feel like this. And they were like, the spirit was like, it's not for nothing. This is part of it. This is literally it. Maybe have a little gratitude for where you're at right now. Maybe
00:08:29
Speaker
look at where your life was a year ago, two years ago. And did you even notice that what you wrote down in your journal, what you manifested, what you wanted so badly as your dream life is literally your life now? Like maybe did you notice that? Have you taken a moment to look around and see that your life is actually really incredible? Have you ever taken a moment to look around and think that
00:08:58
Speaker
like if you basically was telling me like I am on the path to purpose and if I don't have some sort of gratitude for where I'm at right now and like reflect and look back on all the things that I've accomplished then I will be stuck in this spiral of this of this um cycle of never having enough of never being grateful enough of never attaining
00:09:23
Speaker
enough wisdom, knowledge, experience, money, enough friends, enough, like it'll just never be enough if I continue to just keep looking outward and not be present with what I have. And so I was like, oh my god. So it was kind of like, it was kind of a loving bitch slot, but it was also like a very like,
00:09:46
Speaker
comforting message that I received. It was like, oh, this is part of it. I am on the right path.
00:09:54
Speaker
this is what I'm here to do. And so I just remember, so after I kind of got that download, I was wearing my sunglasses. I just kept crying like so many tears of tears were just streaming down my face. And then I turned on some music that I used to listen to. And this is funny, I haven't been called to listen to this music in years, but I used to, when I used to be Christian and I used to go to different Bible studies,
00:10:23
Speaker
Honestly, every time that I went to church, I really would cry because I felt like the message was like hitting so deep. I felt like it just like spirit was moving through me. And so I was like, I think I'm going to listen to some gospel music, which now like you couldn't catch me listening to this, like no judgment. But I just like, it's just I wouldn't want to listen to this. It's not like what I'm here for. But I was like, I feel like listening to
00:10:49
Speaker
What is that one song? You know this song, Oceans? Have you ever heard this song? Is it Ocean? Let me see. I think it's from, like, Hillsong. Let me see. I'm just, like, looking it up real quick, because... Yes, okay, Hillsong United. This song, Oceans? Oceans. Okay, you know where it's like, Spirit Lead Me?
00:11:20
Speaker
where my... Sorry, I was trying to think of the lyrics right now so that I could say it to you, but I was like, I don't want to sing it. But anyways, it was basically something like this. And I'm going to summarize, if you know this song, awesome. If you don't, great. It's something like this. Spirit lead me where, and I'm paraphrasing, I don't remember the exact lyrics. It's like Spirit lead me where like my feet could not wander.
00:11:47
Speaker
like basically it's like lead me into the depths of the ocean where I would not go on my own and I will be held by like the faith and love that like you're guiding me essentially. I wish I had the lyrics because I'm like honestly totally butchering this and I feel like it would be um
00:12:07
Speaker
I'm just going to pull it up. Okay. The other thing that I want to tell you is that this episode is going to be a little, um, I would say spotty. I'm not going to be able to edit it because I am dog sitting for my mom and
Judgment and Consciousness
00:12:20
Speaker
I forgot my computer at my place. And I didn't want to go back and get it because it's far. And I was like,
00:12:27
Speaker
I'm just going to use the computer I have here, but then it's not allowing my microphone to plug in. So I have to record this on Zoom. And then when I take the Zoom file and try to put it into Audacity to edit it, it doesn't let me edit it because it's not in the correct format. And I don't know how to change it on this computer. So essentially, I'm having a lot of technical difficulties, and so I'm not going to be able to edit this episode. It's just going to be given to you exactly as is. So oh my goodness, I hope it's not crazy. OK.
00:12:59
Speaker
These are the lyrics that resonate so deeply. So you call me out upon the waters, the great unknown where my feet may fail. And there I find you in the mystery. In oceans deep, my faith will stand. And I will call upon your name and keep my eyes above the waves. When oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace, for I am yours and you are mine.
00:13:26
Speaker
your grace abounds in deepest waters your sovereign hand will be my guide where feet may fail and fear surrounds me you've never failed and you won't start now so i will call upon your name and keep my eyes above the waves when oceans rise my soul will rest in your embrace for i am yours and you are mine and then this is the part where
00:13:57
Speaker
This is the part where it always makes me cry. So Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my savior. Now, if you are someone that has like church trauma, this might be like triggering or you might not relate to it.
00:14:27
Speaker
I don't know with like saying like savior words like that or to sound like some people don't relate, but I do not consider myself Christian anymore, but still when I listen to certain songs like that, I am just envisioning God universe source, this all loving omnipresence
00:14:48
Speaker
divorce that has my back and just seeing that song out loud because it's a beautiful lyrics. It's literally singing and you know, words are so powerful and they have vibrations and like singing like like basically like call me into the waters like where my feet would never wander by themselves. You know, like call me into the depths of where do you want me to serve? Who do you want me to help and I will not be afraid because I have you.
00:15:18
Speaker
I don't know. To me, it was, it's just super emotional, super empowering. And so I was singing that at the top of my lungs, just crying even harder, moving so much energy through my body. And I was like, I trust, like I surrender. Like I love you God. I love.
00:15:33
Speaker
my life, I love being in this incarnation, I want to help other people. And I felt so freaking loved in that moment. I felt so deeply connected to life and to everyone around me. I felt truly, I felt the presence of even people who annoy me or people who maybe I wouldn't want to be friends with or spend a lot of time with.
00:16:00
Speaker
Certain people, even that, I'm like, I love you. Like I forgive you. I love you. I feel connected to you. We're all just trying to do the best we can. We're all just like, think about it. We don't have enemies. Like we are all one. We are all connected and we all are just trying to do the fricking best that we can. And like some of us just aren't as conscious.
00:16:23
Speaker
as we are or as that we're becoming or as that other people are like there's so many levels of consciousness and I think that so often we can like judge other people for their behaviors their actions their responses the way they live their lives the things that they do the things that they say we can be so judgmental but it's just that like their consciousness hasn't evolved yet
00:16:46
Speaker
and to
Healing Through Church and Music
00:16:47
Speaker
a higher state. And so really, it's not their fault. The things that they do aren't their fault. They're just living from the level of consciousness that they're at. And my life's work in the Jinkies, which is Gate 54, which is aspiration, I am really here to ascend spiritually, business-wise, physically,
00:17:09
Speaker
It makes up 70% of my personality and I'm just here to freaking ascend consciousness like to keep growing and learning and unraveling the layers and how judgmental would it be to
00:17:24
Speaker
not accept other people for where they're at or to like judge them based on them just like not raising their own consciousness. It's like some people aren't meant in this lifetime to ascend like some people aren't meant to have such like deep soul growth in this lifetime and that's okay and I think sometimes like
00:17:45
Speaker
it's easy to judge other people or just to look down on them. And it's like, if we're actually ascending, we wouldn't be looking down on anybody. We would be understanding exactly where they're at because we have been at those depths as well. So anyways, so I felt totally free after listening to that song. I listened to some other ones that again, just like made me cry, made me feel so connected, so loved. There was a really hard time in my life that I went through in 2020
00:18:15
Speaker
not 2025, that's the future. In 2015, that was probably the hardest year of my life. And that is when I decided to leave everything, leave my friends, move to Bakersfield and go to college and like start over, completely start my life over. But 2020-15 was the lowest I've ever been in my life. And I just remember
00:18:35
Speaker
something in my soul was like, I just need help. I just need connection. And so I didn't know anything else besides like the church and the Christian church. And so I was thinking Bible study. I was going to Bible study. I thought like, maybe this will help me pull me out of this lifestyle that I'm living in.
00:18:55
Speaker
these depths of despair. And I just remember like singing certain songs. And I don't know if they're gospel songs, but just like Christian songs. And I remember this other one that was like, oh my gosh, it just made me feel so loved. I felt like source was singing it to me. And as I would sing it,
00:19:13
Speaker
It was like myself loving and like accepting myself and forgiving myself from all the shame, all the guilt that I felt from like things and choices that I had made in my life. And I felt so healed. And so I was singing that song on my way home on this commute, like however many years later.
Gratitude and Achievements
00:19:31
Speaker
I hadn't even thought about that song since 2015. And I was like, I need to hear this song. And I instantly felt God hugging me and telling me, it's OK. Again, you're feeling like you're at a low point in your life because you're on this solo entrepreneurial path. Things aren't happening as fast as your human mind wants them to happen. You're not achieving this success that your conditioned mind thinks you should be achieving at this point.
00:19:59
Speaker
really things just take time. And I felt so loved and held from singing that song. And so again, like the power of the voice, the power of vibration, moving energy. And I just was like moving all this energy out of me, crying, crying, crying. And at the end of that cry, and when I got home, I felt at peace. I was like, okay.
00:20:19
Speaker
God spoke to me. I know that I'm on the right path. I'm doing what I need to do. I'm not tied anymore to human designer gene keys. If this isn't the path that I'm here to teach, if I'm supposed to be used in a different way, I'm open to it. I have no more attachments. I will change to date. Whatever God you want me to do, I am open. And then when I got home, I checked my
00:20:42
Speaker
my bookings on my website and I saw that I had a reading book and I was like oh my god if that is not a mother effing sign that girl you are on the right track you just need to check your privilege you need to check your gratitude for where you're at right now because you're living the life that yourself two years ago dreamed like literally the time freedom that I have the freedom that I have in my nine to five job the freedom that I have to
00:21:11
Speaker
move my body, to go on walks, to do the things that I need to do to raise my vibration. It is like, I could only dream of that when I was two years ago, working so many hours with a very inconsistent schedule. I was a manager, extremely burnt out, extremely sad all the time, no energy, like malnourished. It's like, I'm living the motherfucking dream right now. And I need to have some gratitude for that before Spirit God gives me the next level.
00:21:42
Speaker
And I was like, okay, I get it loud and clear. I'm very grateful for what I have. And so I took that as a sign of like, okay, I am doing the right thing. So here's the thing, if you are
00:21:55
Speaker
creating your business on the side. If you are on the spiritual path and you feel like you are not where you need to be, if you feel like time is just moving so slow, why can't you get where you need to
Avoiding Comparison and Personal Growth
00:22:06
Speaker
be? The message that I got from Source to communicate to you is to, one, incorporate more gratitude for exactly where you are. Because girl, where you are today is not where you were a year ago. Think about the massive freaking changes that you've had in the last one and two years.
00:22:25
Speaker
Like, I swear to God, you know, like, you know, you are miles apart from where you were and everything that you wanted in that timeframe. You have some parts of it now. If not everything, you have some parts of it and you know you do. And so just coming back to like, okay, wow, you're so right. I am on the right path. I'm surrendering to God's timing. This, everything is unfolding for me as it is.
00:22:54
Speaker
And the other message I got is to get out of comparison mode. So like, why do I feel like I'm so behind. Well, maybe it's because I'm scrolling Instagram and I see how successful, quote unquote, other people are that are in the same industry as me and I'm like, why is that happening for them and it's not happening for me.
00:23:14
Speaker
I have no idea what they've done, the work that they put in, the time they put in to get to the point that they are now. No idea. It's not just like it happened overnight. They've been doing this for years, first of all. Second of all, I don't really know how successful they are because there is also a side of Instagram that is a lot of fronting. And especially in this weird, gross, business, coachy sphere, you know what I'm talking about?
00:23:42
Speaker
I think it happens too in some sort of like spiritual pockets, but it's like when people are always talking about like, Oh, this is how much money I make. And this is how much money I can promise you'll make. It's like that kind of ickiness, um, which is not service led. It's not really spirit led. It's all about like numbers and like that ickiness. If I'm comparing my journey to that, first of all, we're on completely two different, like
00:24:07
Speaker
We're on two different spectrums. I'm not trying to achieve these massive financial goals, even though obviously I want to be able to support myself so that I can leave my nine to five. But you see what I'm saying? It's like, who am I comparing myself to that is making me feel like I am not where I should be? Because the only person we can compare ourselves to is ourselves, because we have a completely separate sole contract. Our sole contracts are ours and ours alone. So it's impossible to compare it to anyone else.
00:24:37
Speaker
It's impossible. And when we do that, it just creates more suffering. And it's honestly like, it's unnecessary suffering because it doesn't logically make sense.
Spiritual Practices and Guidance
00:24:48
Speaker
It doesn't make sense. So that is where I have been called to really like, like, okay girl, you need to check yourself on who are you following on social media? Go mute anyone that is making me feel less than myself. Go unfollow anyone that is like not the vibes that I want to have.
00:25:03
Speaker
focus on my people and how I want to serve. So I hope that also helps you have permission to do that as well. Like if anyone is making you feel like you're not on the timeline that you're on, which is your own, unfollow them, unsubscribe, stop looking at them. Only follow people that inspire you and that make you feel expanded and that make you feel excited to get to the next level of whatever you're trying to get to.
00:25:25
Speaker
And then the other thing that I felt like spirit was trying to tell me is to come back to spirit, come back to that deep connection to God, to source, especially as spiritual entrepreneurs, like that is our leading connection. It's like, we are here to have spirit work through us. We are here to be servants of.
00:25:53
Speaker
love, of truth, of helping other people transmute pain and get through suffering. And so what better way to have our souls and our hearts build back up than dedicating time back to spirit and to source.
00:26:11
Speaker
And so I for this is crazy. So two years ago, I learned how to open my own Akashic records. So I went through a level one training. I don't I was never trained to open up Akashic records for others. So I don't read for others, but I read for myself and I can open up my own records.
00:26:29
Speaker
And so I two nights ago was drawn to go find this journal that I have. I put it in this like starting box when I moved and I just saw it in my mind's eye and it was like, go get the journal, like go get the journal. I was like, OK, so I went to get the journal and I started reading it. And this was when I was practicing opening my Akashic records two years ago. And so I have like the questions
00:26:51
Speaker
So my teacher taught us when we were first learning how to read them and to open them, you know, you're supposed to practice daily. And so she would have us practice asking questions and like writing journaling, like writing it out first to try to like practice and like get used to like the voice that comes through. And so we would ask questions with the Akashic Records closed.
00:27:13
Speaker
and get an answer, which is the answer coming from Alyssa's mind, Alyssa's ego, you know, it's centered in ego, it is my human self answering the question, and then I would open the Akashic Records and ask the same question, and this is channeled information coming into my being from source, from my guides, and from light beings, and I am answering from them. It is channeled, it's not coming from me, it's not coming from my mind, and so
00:27:40
Speaker
I was going through and reading the answers, and I was like, holy crap. I forgot how much power, wisdom, love, and truth is in the ability to channel and to connect and to get help and to ask questions from my guides and actually get answers instead of trying to figure this out all on my own. It's like, I have a whole unheaded team here to support me. I don't need to continue.
00:28:08
Speaker
like always investing in coaching to the point of where like I'm going into major debt, like I can rely on myself. The answers are in myself and I can connect to spirit and source. And so I relooked into that and then I started opening up my records again. So I started again a couple of days ago.
00:28:28
Speaker
And the answers that I have received is like, oh my God. It's like, why did I ever stop this connection? And that is where I realized that I was having so much self-doubt and so much feelings of inadequacy. I'm not where I'm at where I'm supposed to be, because I wasn't getting this guidance from my guides. I've always been someone who draws cards, like does my Oracle cards and Tarot.
00:28:57
Speaker
journal about that and that is a beautiful connection and like that gives me a lot of answers. But I forgot how connected I am and how I can actually just ask my team and my spirit guides for answers literally anytime I want and like really serious things. And so that has been really cool. So I also just want to say that
00:29:23
Speaker
Even if you don't know how to open up your own Akashic Records, I'm not telling you to like go through a training and like, Oh, you need to learn how to open up Akashic Records. No, what I'm saying is that use the tools and modalities that you first fell in love with on your spiritual path.
00:29:39
Speaker
And go back to those and use those and connect to yourself and make time to sit with yourself, make time to meditate. And honestly, I swear to God, we have to do this daily. Like the days where I don't do this is the days where my mind goes insane. And I am like, Oh my God, I feel like quitting. Like I can't do this anymore.
Taking Action and Overcoming Stagnation
00:30:00
Speaker
I'm not made out for this. And then I'll do.
00:30:03
Speaker
I'll like do a meditation, or connect to my cost of records, or like I would read some Oracle cards and I'm like, oh my God, like I am so connected. I am so supported from universe. I'm on the right path. What was I even thinking? And it just helps so much with my confidence. And so I think it's so important that we do this and that we give ourselves time to connect. And I think that,
00:30:30
Speaker
if you have been struggling or if you've been feeling disconnected, honestly, if you try to like prioritize this again, this will really help so much. And I just wanted to read one crazy thing. So I had asked the I had asked my Kaushik records, it was almost exactly two years ago, because it was in October 2021. And I asked
00:30:58
Speaker
it'll lose to like me having a podcast, which I just thought was pretty cool. So I wanted to share that. So I had asked the Akashic Records almost exactly two years ago, what is my soul love to do that I am not aware of yet? And it said, preach, practice what I preach.
00:31:22
Speaker
fully in integrity and honesty. And it says, I saw myself with a microphone as a speaker having a lot of fun.
00:31:31
Speaker
Like, oh my God, that is literally me foreshadowing me, having the podcast. And I've known that I've wanted to do this for a couple of years, but it's just so cool that even like in my Kasha Grecords, I could see myself on the actual microphone as a speaker and like having a lot of fun. Because that's the other thing, tune into what brings you joy, tune into what you really like to do and what you're excited about, what's present for you. That is what I've realized is helping me so much to stay on path and to know that like I am on the right path.
00:32:02
Speaker
Um, the other pretty cool question that I asked was, um, I hope you can't hear my dog barking. I am so sorry if you can. Um, but I'm not going to be able to edit it out. So.
00:32:22
Speaker
I'm sorry guys, this is so many like pauses, filler words. I don't want to waste your time, but I really want to share this with you because I thought it was like, I thought it was really cool.
00:32:36
Speaker
Okay, so one thing that my teacher taught us is to write down questions, ask the question with our records closed so that we can get the answer and then ask again with the Akashic Records open so that we can see what was actually us coming through. I think I already told you this, but I can't remember. So I asked, this was two years ago, with the records closed, I asked, why was I drawn to the Akashic Records? And with my mind, Alyssa, with my ego, I said, because I had readings done
00:33:05
Speaker
and witness the connection to something higher. I want to be able to connect to my guides and work on my psychic abilities so that I can help others unlock questions they have to help them move from suffering to joy.
00:33:18
Speaker
with them open as the records, why was I drawn to the Koshok Records? And they said, you were drawn to fulfill your soul's purpose, to break free of the chains and illusions placed on you as a human being, to remember your soul mission as a light worker who incarnated here at this time. We hope you will be able to see who you really are at the soul level. I was like, oh my God. And then,
00:33:50
Speaker
Yeah, there's just other really cool ones. But anyways, so I just want to share that with you because I also think that everything, well, as you know, I believe everything is happening to us for a reason, as has the name of this podcast, which is that it's happening for us so that we can learn and grow from these lessons. And I feel like I also kind of had that mini meltdown
00:34:16
Speaker
to hear the message from source to know like, OK, I need to connect back to God, back to my spirit guides, and then to have the vision of like getting this journal out and like reading it. Again, this was like packed away deep. I would never have just saw this journal like, oh, let me read it. Like my like I was told the message should go find this journal, read how connected I felt with Akashic Records, reopen them. And now I feel like a completely different person. So it's like we're always being guided.
00:34:44
Speaker
You're not making any mistakes. I want you to listen right now. You're not making any mistakes. You're not behind. You didn't make a wrong turn. Yes, there are thousands, not even numbers. I don't know why I said a number, but there are limitless potentials to every opportunity in life. Every decision you make, there are limitless choices that you can make and it's going to fragment you onto another timeline.
Releasing Control and Embracing Joy
00:35:08
Speaker
And so you're never in
00:35:11
Speaker
the wrong place. You're never behind. You are choosing what you're supposed to be choosing. It's all good and well. And anytime that you're off course, things will happen in your life to put you back on course.
00:35:27
Speaker
When you're feeling a lot of like discomfort, disease, a lot of toxicity, drama, things keep freaking happening. It's going to wear you down so that your soul wants to make a change. So for example, say if you've been wanting to start a podcast.
00:35:43
Speaker
Say if you've been wanting to launch some sort of group coaching program, but you've been hiding out, you have not been doing it, say you want to get back into your fitness routine, because you know it's gonna make you feel good but you haven't been doing it. Every day that you don't do it, and you're, you're going against what your soul wants to do, you are creating disease in your body and you're creating
00:36:04
Speaker
like discomfort and unease and like a stickiness. And once that yuckiness gets so bad that it behooves you to take action on the things that your soul wants to do, you will take action. You will start getting forward momentum and then you will jump onto that timeline of that version of yourself.
00:36:23
Speaker
And so I just want you to know that if you're feeling stuck, if you're feeling stagnant, if you're feeling like you're not good enough, like nothing's working out, think about where can you take action today, tomorrow to start showing up as the highest version of yourself, as the person who lives the life and the dreams that you have that you want, and then start doing those things. And then you'll get momentum on that path.
00:36:46
Speaker
And then also know that if you are having momentum, if you are doing things, but things still feel stuck, things still feel like nothing's working out, like you're putting so much effort into this, but nothing's happening.
00:36:58
Speaker
My message that I got from Spirit was like, this is something. It's brewing inside of you. You're meant to have this tension. This is an initiation. This is right before the faucets turn on. Keep going. Don't give up. We want to see how hard you go. And it's not, again, about forcing things or trying to make things happen.
00:37:22
Speaker
it's about showing up for the things that you really want while also kind of releasing control of the outcome. So I know that it's very hard to do because me especially I'm like, oh my God, I just want it to happen or I want to have this super successful reading business and I want to be so booked out because I know that I can transform the lives of so many people. I have to like keep releasing control of that and just focus on my daily practices, connecting to myself, connecting to spirit,
00:37:53
Speaker
feeling my body, moving my body, living my life, appreciating my relationships, having fun, doing the things that I love to do, and really incorporating a lot of fun and a lot of humor into my life, then these things are just going to pop off while I'm not thinking about it. But the more that we're holding so tight onto this vision and our closed fists, think of a closed fist and you're holding so tight onto this vision, you're squeezing the freaking life out of it,
00:38:21
Speaker
And it's all you think about, then it's maybe not going to happen. But when we release it and we open our hands and we're like, OK, I'm going to focus on raising my vibrational frequency, having fun, doing healthy things that make me feel good. When we're in that state, that's when things are going to start popping off and coming to us because we are at this vibrational match to them.
Community and Spiritual Connection
00:38:47
Speaker
So yeah, I hope that was helpful. I feel like I really needed this. So I hope that it also serves you. But I just want you to know that you are not alone. I also wanted to mention that I really leaned into community during this time as well. So I am a part, I am a member of the spiritual leap community, which is ran by the beautiful soul Miss Keely Ray. And
00:39:13
Speaker
She is a genius like astrologer, a human design goddess. She's so good at all of these modalities and she's also a freaking great community builder. And so she created an online community that is for solo spiritual entrepreneurs to be in a place with like-minded people to have a place to like share
00:39:35
Speaker
what we're going through. She shares amazing energetic guides to help literally run your business according to the energy of the universe. She does weekly Monday astrology coffee chats where she talks about what energy
00:39:51
Speaker
what energies of the week there is and how you can align the actions of your business to the energies so we can really be more aligned. And then there's also so many really cool community-led workshops. She has human design master classes, astrology master classes, how to read your chart, all of the things. And so I'll put the info in my show notes, but I just wanted to say that like a little shameless plug because
00:40:21
Speaker
Whenever I had that experience where I was really crying and really distraught and then whatever leaned into the spirit, I shared that in that community. And then as soon as I shared it, I kind of had a little like, oh my God, should I have said that?
00:40:36
Speaker
should I have admitted that I'm like really struggling as an entrepreneur because I'm kind of embarrassed and like what if no one else is going through this and everyone else is really successful and I'm a loser but then I actually got responses back of like oh my god like don't worry you're not alone we've all experienced this on our path as well we've had the intrusive thoughts of like am I supposed to quit this entrepreneurial journey and like get a nine to five again like and then it's just like
00:41:02
Speaker
seeing that how powerful the mind is and how powerful it is. So I'm playing tricks on us online to us on wanting to keep us safe and small and like not expand. Seeing that they also went through that and then seeing like where they are on the other side, where they are in the now moment made me feel so much less alone. And like the spiritual journey, the entrepreneurial journey, all of this is so freaking lonely.
00:41:25
Speaker
if you're not doing it with people who are also on the path. Because most of us, our partners, our immediate family, our best friends, most of us aren't all on the same page with the people in our lives. And a lot of us don't have people that understand us or where we're coming from.
Embracing Growth and Fear
00:41:43
Speaker
So it can feel even more easy to just want to quit, throw on the towel when things get hard. So I also really rely heavily on community. And I just wanted to put that out there if you are someone who's looking for a spiritual community.
00:41:56
Speaker
So yeah, I hope that this was helpful. I hope that this served you. Just keep going. Don't give up.
00:42:07
Speaker
We are here to shift the planet. We're here to make massive impact. We're here to set souls free and show people what it's like to live a life of peace and abundance and joy. And it's also really freaking hard at the same time.
00:42:26
Speaker
And you can be growing and successful and also feel really scared at the same time. Also feel lack at the same time. It's okay to feel both feelings like literally like it's really normal. I don't think that a lot of people talk about that and so we can feel really even more alone or feel like we're not meant for this but
00:42:43
Speaker
We are you are I am we are incredible, and we got this. I also want to say as well that if you are a listener and you are not on like the entrepreneurial path. This can also apply to so many things in your life as well like when you feel so alone.
00:43:04
Speaker
you know, in your relationship, when you feel so alone on your fitness journey, when you feel so alone on your alcohol free journey, whatever journey it is that you are on your personal growth and development, it can feel like things aren't changing. But just know that they are and that every day that you are choosing to step
00:43:25
Speaker
In as your higher self, respond to things from a place of love, open your heart, allow yourself to be seen, allow yourself to be heard, allow yourself to set boundaries, allow yourself to say no when you mean no, allow yourself to ask for your needs and wants and honor yourself and put yourself first and do the things that let you up and follow the excitement and
00:43:51
Speaker
Allow yourself to be seen by others in your relationships and your friendships. Like it might feel like things aren't changing, but they are. And every day that you're on the spiritual path and the personal growth and development path, you are evolving.
00:44:06
Speaker
And so it is, everything is okay. Everything is working out in the best case scenario. We are doing it. We are living the human experience and we are going to keep freaking crushing it.
Closing Thoughts and Apologies
00:44:18
Speaker
So I love you so much. I hope this was like a little pep talk for this week and I cannot wait to see you next week. I'm also probably going to drop a, um, like bonus episode, maybe mid next week, Wednesday or Thursday to just really talk about the five new offerings that I have right now for my human design engine keys readings.
00:44:35
Speaker
I am super excited about my readings business.
00:44:39
Speaker
about doing longer term three month one-to-one coaching if you want to do all five readings. So I will save that for a little separate episode to really just explain the difference between human design and jean keys and like what you can expect, how it can help you on your personal, spiritual, and business evolution. And yeah, I cannot wait to connect. So I hope you have a great week. Again, my apologies for this being like a little off the wall. No editing, no intro, no outro.
00:45:07
Speaker
a little rough. Thank you for bearing with me while I looked up the lyrics to that song. I don't even remember if I covered everything I wanted to because this is the second time doing it in Zoom because the first one didn't work. But anyways, I love you so much. I'll see you again. Have a great week and bye-bye!