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47. The One About Emotional Inheritance: Are These Beliefs Even Yours?
17 Plays1 day ago
Have you ever caught yourself reacting in a way that made you stop and think, "Where on earth did that come from?"
Maybe it's the way you handle conflict. The stories you tell yourself about money. The discomfort you feel around emotions. The way you speak to yourself in the mirror.
In this week's episode of The Mindful Educator Podcast, we're diving into the concept of emotional inheritance - the beliefs, behaviours, and thought patterns we unconsciously absorb from the people and environments around us.
Because the truth is, many of the stories we carry aren't actually ours.
Together, we'll explore how to approach these inherited beliefs with curiosity rather than blame, compassion rather than criticism, and awareness rather than autopilot. Because while we can't change where we've come from, we can decide what we carry forward.
In This Episode, We Explore:
- What emotional inheritance actually is and how it shapes our lives
- Why curiosity and compassion matter more than blame
- How our early experiences influence the beliefs we hold today
- The way children absorb messages from the world around them
- How conflict was modelled to you growing up - and how that impacts your relationships now
- Different ways people respond to conflict, including avoidance, shutting down, defensiveness, and people-pleasing
- The four attachment styles and how they may influence the way you connect with others
- What you learned about expressing emotions and whether those beliefs still serve you
- Why discomfort around emotions often has deeper roots
- The hidden stories many of us carry about money, wealth, and abundance
- How our beliefs about success shape what we think is possible for us
- Exploring inherited ideas around gender roles and identity
- The impact our body image beliefs can have on ourselves and the children watching us
- Why the language we use—both out loud and internally—matters so much
- Identifying the beliefs you want to keep and the ones you're ready to release
- Recognising the triggers that pull you back into old patterns
- How to consciously create new beliefs that align with the person you want to become
- Looking for evidence of what's possible through people who are living differently
- The powerful opportunity we have to break cycles and create a new legacy for future generations
A Gentle Reminder
You don't have to blame your parents, your childhood, or the people who came before you.
Most people were doing the very best they could with the knowledge, tools, and awareness they had at the time.
But now, you get to choose.
You get to decide what stays.
You get to decide what goes.
You get to rewrite the stories that no longer fit.
Because healing isn't about becoming someone new - it's about remembering who you are beneath all the conditioning.
🎧 Connect with Victoria
If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear what came up.
Instagram: @thevictoriar
Website: www.victoria-r.com.au
If you enjoyed this conversation, please consider subscribing, sharing it with a friend, or leaving a review. It helps these messages reach the people who need them most.
Until next time, stay curious, be compassionate with yourself, and remember—you don't have to carry what was never yours. 💛
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Transcript
Inherited Beliefs and Their Relevance
00:00:37
Victoria R
Hello, welcome to the Mindful Educator podcast. Thank you so much for joining me today So i am really excited about today's episode because it's something that um I've been thinking about for a while. And obviously, i love everything to do with mindset and how our minds work and kind of understanding where our thoughts are coming from and all the rest of it.
00:00:59
Victoria R
And so what I wanted to talk about today is the things that perhaps we've taken on that we've inherited without even realising from the people around us. So that might be perhaps our parents as we were growing up or whoever our primary caregivers were at the time. um it could be, you know, the friends that we hung out with, whoever it might be. And just recognising whether these thoughts and these beliefs are actually ours and whether they're still ours. Maybe it's something that you used to believe and perhaps that has now changed.
Approaching Beliefs with Compassion
00:01:31
Victoria R
So what I want to preface this by saying is like anything, it's always approaching it with that curiosity piece, not playing the blame game, not saying, you know, oh my childhood totally messed me up or whatever it may be.
00:01:47
Victoria R
Because In everything that we do, in everything that that we we experience, whether it's positive or negative, there's always something that we can take away from that. There's always a lesson that can be learned from it. And this is no different. All right. So as we're going through this, as we're discussing this and, you know, talking about these different beliefs and views that we have on things,
00:02:09
Victoria R
just approach it with curiosity and also compassion. Compassion not only for yourself, but for those that were looking after you when you were younger that were doing the best that they could at the time.
00:02:21
Victoria R
And I think this is something that we often forget, you know, our our generation, our world that we're living in now, we literally have information at our fingertips. We can Google anything if we want to. We can, you know, now we've even got AI that we can ask the questions of.
Information Accessibility Across Generations
00:02:38
Victoria R
There's books, there's podcasts, there's YouTube videos. Like we have an abundance of information. So anything that we have a question to we can easily find out an answer to it almost straight away.
00:02:51
Victoria R
Whereas when we think back to perhaps when we were growing up or perhaps when our parents were growing up, things were so different back then. You know, there was no way that you could just type something in and get an answer straight away. There wasn't even such a thing as typing. And so, you know, things that...
00:03:07
Victoria R
we now know after, you know, years of research was perhaps something that had only just started being researched back in these days. so like I said, let's, let's approach all this with curiosity and compassion. Please don't, don't blame, don't judge. It's,
00:03:23
Victoria R
just seeing what comes up.
Exploring Core Beliefs
00:03:26
Victoria R
And so when I talk about emotional inherent inheritance, it's like, all right, what have we actually taken on? What sort of beliefs have we taken on about several things? And, you know, this could be things like maybe how we handle conflict in our life, um how we express our emotions, how we think about money or treat money,
00:03:48
Victoria R
um our beliefs about success and what that may or may not look like, how we show love and how we think love needs to be shown to us, you know, gender roles as well. You know, what is the traditional gender role? Do you believe that? Do you believe that, you know, this is what males should be doing? This is what females should be doing. How does... you know, how does that kind of base in what you're thinking about?
00:04:10
Victoria R
How do you think about yourself and your own body image and even things like our self-worth? And the reason that I wanted to discuss this today is because so often our beliefs are something that have always kind
Formation of Childhood Beliefs
00:04:25
Victoria R
of been there. The great thing that we now know is that between like the ages of zero to seven years is when children take in the most amount of information it's almost like their minds are wide open and so literally anything can be put in there so this is usually when we pick up you know different beliefs different habits different identities that kind of shape who we become as we get older and we sit there going well
00:04:53
Victoria R
where has this even come from? Sometimes you might find yourself saying or doing things and then you're like, wait, like why on earth am I saying this? Is this actually something I believe? And as we kind of move in and start actually recognising what these thoughts are, we do start then questioning, is this belief actually mine or is this belief something that's been passed down to me and that I've just taken on without even realising?
Recognizing and Passing on Beliefs
00:05:21
Victoria R
And so, we want to bring our attention to this because for so many of us, we're either working with children or we have children of our own, or we've got children in our lives somewhere. And so we want to be aware of actually, well, what beliefs am I passing down to these children, and to my own children? Are these the beliefs that I actually still hold true? Or is this something that it's always just been done that way? I haven't even thought about it. And so Now I'm just passing on to my children without the awareness of whether this is something that I truly value. And so this is where I wanted to discuss this today.
00:06:00
Victoria R
And so let's let's start at the beginning. So let's start with things like firstly, how do you handle conflict?
Inherited Conflict Management Styles
00:06:05
Victoria R
So you may, you know, you may come from a house where your parents may have stayed together. You might come from a house where perhaps they separated or divorced. You know, you might have a mixed family, like a blended family, whatever it might be. How do those people in your life handle conflict when it arose?
00:06:23
Victoria R
And there is conflict no matter where, right? So it can be within our intimate relationships. It can be within our family relationships. It can be within the workplace. It can be within friendships. You know, how is conflict handled or how was it handled? And what do you believe about how conflict should be handled? So for example, you might've grown up in a house where perhaps someone gave someone else a silent treatment.
00:06:51
Victoria R
And to you, that was what you deemed as normal. That's what you think conflict is. And so if something doesn't happen according to how you want it, you might give someone else a silent treatment.
00:07:03
Victoria R
And it's a case of going, okay, is that actually something you believe or is this something that was passed down to you? Is it actually beneficial to the life that you're living at the moment? Is this what you want to continue happening? Is it actually a good thing when you give people the silent treatment? Is it resolving anything that comes up? Or is the conflict still there? It's just been pushed to the side or paused for the moment. all right Or perhaps you grew up in a house or an environment where conflict was was resolved by yelling and screaming at each other. And then five minutes later, everything was forgotten and moved on.
00:07:37
Victoria R
You know, like everyone's experiences are going to be different in some way.
Attachment Styles and Emotions
00:07:42
Victoria R
And so now I want you to look at, well, how do you now handle conflict when it arises? Do you shut down?
00:07:48
Victoria R
Do you completely shut down and not want to face whatever it is that's come up? Do you face conflict head on and are happy to, all right, let's nut this out. Let's find a solution and then let's move on. Do you hold grudges? Do you forgive easily? Yeah. So how it does conflict and how you deal with conflict, how does that actually reflect in your life at the moment?
00:08:09
Victoria R
And are you... I wouldn't say happy, but are you okay with how you're handling the conflict that does arise? Because like I said, there is conflict no matter what. We can try and avoid it until the cows come home, but no matter what, there will still be conflict in some regard. And one of the things that I found really interesting, which you may have heard of, is there's actually ah ah free quiz that you can do, and it's regarding four attachment styles. And I find this really fascinating because a lot of it actually has to do with how we were raised. So it asks you questions about things to do with your parents or your mom and your dad and all the rest of it.
00:08:44
Victoria R
And there's four attachment styles that you kind of get put into. so one is secure attachment. There's anxious attachment, there's avoidant attachment, and there's also disorganized attachment. And it's really interesting because if you do the quiz, um it actually explains really well which one you kind of fall into and how you handle these things, how you handle the relationships and the conflicts and the things that come up. So if you do get the chance, I highly recommend it. Just, you can literally just put in the search bar for attachment styles and it will come up or even just, for attachment styles free quiz and it will come up with one. um
00:09:23
Victoria R
So just getting really clear on firstly how you handle conflict whether you're okay with the way that you're handling conflict and then if you're not or if you think that there could be improvements okay well let's actually just start looking into that a little bit deeper let's start questioning how we're approaching things so if something does upset you how do you approach this what's your internal dialogue when things go wrong you know, are you playing the blame game?
Reassessing Conflict Strategies
00:09:50
Victoria R
Are you getting really defensive? Are you, um you know, getting really avoidant? Like, what is it exactly that you're doing? And are you wanting this to continue that way? Because the children in your life will be watching this.
00:10:06
Victoria R
They will be watching, they will be aware. and One of the things that we have found is that children learn a hell of a lot more from seeing what we do rather than seeing what we say.
00:10:19
Victoria R
So is this the way you want it to continue? All right. Now, this might be making you feel a little uncomfortable and that's okay. It's one of those things that we kind of need to look at. And one thing I do really admire is those people that before they even start having families, they've kind of discovered this self-development world and they've done a lot of this work on themselves. And I really admire those people because I kind of discovered that all this after having children. There's a few things where I'm like, oh, wow.
00:10:49
Victoria R
Probably if I'd known that a few years ago, it would have been really helpful. So if you do have the chance to do this before you're having your own children, if that's what you decide to do, please do it because it really helps you get clear on what sort of beliefs you actually want to hand down to your own children. What sort of legacy do you want them to be kind of moving forward with?
00:11:10
Victoria R
So that's kind of the first one I wanted to touch on. The second one, which kind of ties into this a little bit is also about expressing emotions.
Challenging Stoic Beliefs
00:11:20
Victoria R
So,
00:11:22
Victoria R
One of the big things that, you know, you hear about, especially like the boomers, you know, the the old people, you know, crying is for the weak and, you know, oh, you know, you don't you don't do that. That's ridiculous. Like, you know, how they get all tough and manly and they don't say these things or do these things and it's like, hmm.
00:11:41
Victoria R
you know what, as we're actually finding, it is okay. is okay eat to express emotions. We don't always have to be stoic. and Or even, you know, as females, it's like, oh, you know, you're so emotional. And it's like, well, yeah, we all are, actually. We are all are. We all are emotional and that is totally okay as well.
00:12:00
Victoria R
You know, what sort of Language, what sort of um approach to emotions do you want to be passing down? What do you want your legacy to be when people think about how you expressed emotions?
00:12:13
Victoria R
Are you okay to express emotions? Do they make you feel really uncomfortable? If you see someone crying and you're like, ugh. i'm running it far as far away as possible? Or are you okay with that?
00:12:25
Victoria R
And again, it's it's thinking about what actually comes up. What is our internal dialogue when we witness other people in their emotions? If you witness someone you know, having a complete and utter meltdown, whether it be an adult or a child, how does that sit with you?
00:12:43
Victoria R
How does that feel within your body and your mind? What is it that you're actually thinking? Are you thinking that, oh, this is so great that they're able to express it? Are you thinking, oh my gosh, you're in public, like how dare you carry on like this? Like what is it that you're actually saying to yourself when you experience or observe people experiencing their own emotions?
00:13:05
Victoria R
And again, this internal dialogue of ours, these thoughts, these thoughts are coming from the beliefs that we've been given. And so it's great that we actually have the power to decide, well, do I still believe this? Do I still believe what it was that was passed down to me?
00:13:23
Victoria R
Or do I now believe something different? And as humans, as we know, with neuroplasticity and all these things with our minds, we can actually retrain our brain how it thinks. We can actually retrain our, you know, our beliefs and our values and all those things, our whole identity. We can change if we choose to. So you can think about this and go, well, actually, I know now that by them doing this and expressing their emotions, it's actually really positive or whatever it is that you believe about this, you can change your thoughts around it. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, mind you, but it can be done. So again, let's start thinking about how we actually approach emotions and whether we view them as something that ah it's icky, I'm staying away from that, or whether we're embracing it. And also, you know, yeah are we going too far the other way and kind of believing like,
00:14:18
Victoria R
I suppose, um enabling too much of that, which I don't actually know if you can, but, you know, I'm giving you examples here. And so another one to consider, and this is such a big one, and it does, it's actually really fascinating when
Financial Beliefs and Abundance Mindset
00:14:34
Victoria R
you observe it. So the other one is money, all right? So lots of things come up around money. There are lots of stories that you have been told that you may not even realize that you have.
00:14:49
Victoria R
So if you see money as something that is, it just keeps circulating, it goes in, it comes out, you know, there's always an abundance of it. We're never going to run out of it. It's just something that, you know, it it is, it is what it is. You will probably find that money flows to you a lot easier. It's not something that you stress about. it might be something that, you know, you might be very generous with your money. Who knows?
00:15:14
Victoria R
If you have grown up knowing that I don't know how we're going to make it to payday. I don't know how we're going to afford food. I don't know how we're going to doing this. You might find yourself saying those same stories. I can't afford to do this.
00:15:29
Victoria R
You might be using that language or why is it they've always got so much money and I don't, or, oh my gosh, I've only got so much in my account. How am I going to do this? So again, paying attention to the language that you're using, the phrases, the sentences that keep coming up in your mind.
00:15:49
Victoria R
And it will take a while for you to actually recognize what it is like. When you go and check your bank account, does it fill you with dread to log in and check what's in your account? Or is it something like, oh, yeah, cool. Like, sweet. I've got like 20 bucks. What can i do with that? love You know, how do you actually approach it? Do you even check your bank account?
00:16:09
Victoria R
Or is it something that you avoid or let someone else do? do you actually have any idea where your money is going? All right. Or do you just like stick your head in the sand and just pretend that, you know, oh, well, someone else to do with it.
00:16:22
Victoria R
ah You know, are you willing to, you know, give money and donate and do things like that? When you think about people that are rich and wealthy, what stories come up when you think about that? Do you think they're all selfish? Do you think that you know, um it's going to make everyone evil if they have money? Or do you believe that money in the right hands actually makes the world a better place? You know, only this morning I was reading a story about a couple that, have donated, I think there's something like $40 million dollars to a charity, like $40 million. These are just, these are no i don't know who they are. I've never heard their names before. But amazing that these people are choosing to spend $40 million of their dollars, good on them for having $40 million, dollars towards a a charity of their choice.
00:17:10
Victoria R
And so it's a case of, all right, well, if you believe that everyone that has money is evil, well, actually there's evidence here that That's not the case. There's a couple here that are giving away $40 million dollars to someone, to a charity to help with, um you know, understanding more research into a health condition. Like, so again, where are these stories coming from? Are they your stories?
00:17:33
Victoria R
Or is it someone else's story that you're repeating? Is it someone else's beliefs that you've taken on? And like I said, the amazing thing is we can change these stories. You don't have to continue believing what it is that you were taught as a child or told as a child. You can change it.
00:17:52
Victoria R
And so, like i said, again, become really aware of what it is that you're speaking about and saying to yourself when it comes to things like money. And i know um some simple things that you can do just to kind of help get in the the right frame of mind is, you know, if you find money on the ground, even if it's five cents, just be like, oh my gosh, thank you so much. Like get really excited about the fact that this money has come into your life, whether it be five cents or $500 or whatever it it is, like have that excitement.
00:18:23
Victoria R
Thank you. Thank you so much. You know, be really, really excited because of course, if you're, you know, you've got those positive and those high vibes, things are going to want to come your way, you know, and feel free to, you know, pay it forward, you know, spend, you know, 10 bucks and,
00:18:38
Victoria R
Leave it there for someone else so they can buy themselves a coffee. You know, you tell the tender that that's what you want to do. All right. The next two people that come up, this coffee's on them. all right. so being generous with your money, being the example that you're wanting to see yourself. All right. And that will also help change those beliefs. I'm not like I said, I'm not saying it's going to happen overnight, but it is something that you can definitely keep working on.
00:19:00
Victoria R
And along with money, like it's also a case of what do you actually believe about success and what do you believe about successful people? You know, do you think, oh, well they've just have had everything handed to them. They haven't had to work.
00:19:12
Victoria R
or are your beliefs like, oh, I know how hard they've had to work to get here or I know that they've, you know, they've really gone for it. So, again, it's once more paying attention, all right, being curious to what is coming through when you think these things.
00:19:28
Victoria R
right gender roles you know what do you believe about what men should be doing about women should be doing about you know whoever else what what are your beliefs about that or do you believe that people should be able to do whatever it is that they want to do you know where have these beliefs come from is it something that you perhaps you've seen and grown up with or is it something that you know over time you've developed this certain belief about a specific gender and and how they should be doing. You know, is the man the one that should be providing and the woman should be nurturing or can it be whatever you want? Again, exploring this a little bit further because that's going to be reflected in your own life and how you actually approach things as well.
00:20:07
Victoria R
And so this one in particular that I'm about to touch on is so important when it comes to our children and that is our body image.
Impact of Body Image Beliefs
00:20:14
Victoria R
How we actually... approach the talk, the action within our own bodies and how we also may or may not speak about other people's bodies.
00:20:29
Victoria R
And like I said, our children are little sponges. So they're taking all of this on. They're taking all of this in. If you're constantly judging other people for how they look, how they're dressing, how, you know, whatever it might be, if you've constantly got that resentment,
00:20:42
Victoria R
Oh, there's so much skinnier than me or, oh, she's lost a lot of weight. Oh, he's packed it on a bit. All right. What are these stories that are coming up? Are you saying them loud or are you even just saying them in your head? And why? Why are these stories coming through? Is this something that you've taken on from someone else?
00:20:57
Victoria R
Do you actually care whether someone has or has not put on weight or whether someone is or is not dressing well? Does it really matter to you or is it something that you've just, again, taken on How do you actually speak to yourself as well? And how do you speak to yourself in front of others? Are you like, oh, you know, oh, feel so ugly today, you know, or are you like, oh, I feel amazing today. you know, how are you approaching these? So like I said, this is such a big one, especially because we are getting lots of information about things
00:21:32
Victoria R
body types. And I mean, you can look back at history and you can see that depending on whatever was happening in the world at the time is relevant to whatever body shape was most accepted at the time. So, you know, back in, was it the fifties or something? It was very voluptuous and curvy. And then was it the 70s or 80s or something they went through the really skinny phase and then you know we've had the strong phase and now we're kind of going back to skinny again it's like oh really like really shouldn't we be focusing more on how we're actually feeling within our body shouldn't we be teaching our children that our beliefs around our body should be focusing more on do i actually feel healthy you know is this food going to nourish me is this food going to give me energy all right?
00:22:16
Victoria R
Or is this food just going to be like a quick fix? You know, is there good food or bad food? Or is it just food? You know, at the end of the day, it's all just food, isn't it? So again, focusing on what your beliefs are from that. And i know, especially as women, a lot of us have taken on the beliefs of our mothers and how they have approached things, and how they've approached exercise, how they've approached eating, whether, you know, comfort eating was a thing, whether, you know, oh, you know, it's that time of the month I need to eat chocolate or, you know, whatever it is, like, is that actually still true? is that true for you? do you still actually believe that, right, or do you have a different belief now? Right, so like I said, really starting to think about this.
00:22:56
Victoria R
And so when we when we kind of recognise and bring attention to these stories that we're telling ourselves about the beliefs that we may be holding, right,
00:23:07
Victoria R
Or the language that we use daily, where we may not even be conscious of. It's like, okay, I've recognized that actually a lot of what I have been doing or been saying or been believing is not actually mine anymore. So then what do we do?
Taking Responsibility for Beliefs
00:23:22
Victoria R
And so it's not a case of going, oh, well, I blame someone for this or, oh, it's because of them that I think this way. no, no. We need to own up, take responsibility for our own thoughts and our own actions. And this is, you know, this is one of the things about being human is,
00:23:41
Victoria R
we take responsibility for ourselves and we know that we can make a change as to how we think about these things. So what have you actually learned from this? all right, you might've learned, okay, well, actually that's not how I want to do things. That's not how I want to raise my children. That's not how I want to think about money or that's not how I want to think about um how to express emotions, right? So what have you actually learned from all this? Because in everything, there is a lesson in and everything we can learn something.
00:24:10
Victoria R
And so then, right, what beliefs then am I actually holding on to that are not mine? And you can literally sit down and write and break this down, write it out. You know, what beliefs do you have about conflict? Write them out. What beliefs do you have about emotions, about money, about success, about you know, your gender roles, about body image, about self-worth, all the rest of it. What are those beliefs? And then you can go through and you're like, well, do I actually want to keep any of these? Because some of them might be great beliefs that you've got. You might've had, you know, your parents that have been really good role models in different areas.
00:24:40
Victoria R
And you'll be like, yeah, actually, I really love how they approach that. So hold on to those ones, right? Decide what's been a helpful belief, what's been an unhelpful belief and move on from there.
00:24:52
Victoria R
And so then once you've kind of got this idea of like, okay, you know, I'm starting to form my own beliefs now. Like I'm starting to work out what is actually true for me.
00:25:03
Victoria R
then it's a case of recognizing are there any triggers that come up that maybe kind of revert me straight back to my old
Identifying and Changing Triggers
00:25:10
Victoria R
beliefs? Because that's what happens. You know, we sometimes, no matter the amount of work that we do, we can go straight back into our pre-programming because that's just what's familiar. It's what's comfortable. So it's like, all right, I know that if my partner says this to me, it's really going to trigger me.
00:25:25
Victoria R
Or I know that if someone, um, you know, approaches a conflict situation this in this way, I normally shut down completely. So it's like, all right, I'm aware of what these triggers are. And so then once you're aware of that, you kind of can go, right, so if this happens again, perhaps I can try and do this next time, or perhaps I can just take a moment and then approach it in this way, right? So having that awareness around our triggers and what may kind of revert us back to our old programming can be really handy.
00:25:56
Victoria R
And then, as I've mentioned all throughout this episode so far, the language that we are using is so, so, so important. And I've actually done a separate podcast episode on this completely. I think it was um last year sometime. And just just how much power our words actually hold. all Right. So it's like your words are like a spell that you're weaving. It's something that once you you say it, it's like it's creating whatever it is that you're saying in your mind. So if you're saying I can't afford it, well, no, you're not going to be able to afford it.
00:26:27
Victoria R
hate to break it to you, but that's what you're putting out there. So of course, it's not going to happen. Right. But if you say things like money flows to me with ease. And even if you don't believe it straight away, if you keep repeating it and you keep repeating it and you keep repeating it, you will eventually get to the point where you're going to believe it. So let's bring more attention to the words, the language that we're using. And it's not just also what we're saying out loud.
00:26:51
Victoria R
What are you actually saying to yourself every day? What is the language that you're using in your own mind? Right. And if you're using language that perhaps isn't kind of on the right track of where you're wanting to be going, you need to stop it. You need to pull yourself up on that. you're like ah Catching that thought, grab it, change it. I don't believe that anymore.
00:27:14
Victoria R
Right. This is my new belief. right? And making it really clear to yourself. And it will take some time. It will be, and you know, sometimes they're gonna sneak in these thoughts without you even realizing, but having that awareness, grab it, change it, all right?
00:27:27
Victoria R
This is not my belief in what I'm changing it, right? Reject it, reject that thought, reject the old belief, right? Let's put the new one in there. Okay, so all this is helping us be really, really aware of what we're actually passing on to our own children.
00:27:44
Victoria R
and this, I don't know if you guys see all the stories and all the the quotes and everything as well. We're of this generation where we are literally trying to reparent ourselves as we're parenting our children. We are the child the generation that has gone, you know what, actually, i don't believe that anymore.
00:28:07
Victoria R
i don't, I don't you know, buy into that story. And so we're trying to reparent, we're trying to retrain, we're trying to, you know, help workt like our old wounds and, you know, nourish them and prepare them and move on from them at the same time as raising our own
Transforming Beliefs for Future Generations
00:28:24
Victoria R
children. So it is a really like, whoa, this is a bit of full on thing. But what we need to remember in all this is as we're doing it, what is this legacy then that we're passing on to our children?
00:28:36
Victoria R
and I've had the greatest honour of witnessing some people really close to me do this so, so well. And they're such role models to me in seeing how they're now adult children or almost adult children have such a beautiful relationship with them as a result of this. And it it really is so worth it when you can see just how different like how epic that change can be, how instrumental that change can be to everyone's lives. We don't need to carry this shit anymore. We don't need to carry these old beliefs and this old baggage and these old wounds that were never ours to begin with. We can let them go.
00:29:18
Victoria R
We can let them go. We can form our own beliefs and our own you know, path that we want to take. And this is so much more beneficial for all those in our life, for our partners, for our friends, for our children, for everyone that comes into contact with us. If we can really be clear on what it is that we truly believe, right, then this can make such a powerful impact, positive, powerful impact on the people in our lives. And I'm seeing this firsthand, right? I'm seeing this with
00:29:51
Victoria R
those that are close to me that have already done it, that are already leading the way, you know, and giving me such inspiration on how I want to parent differently as well.
Success Stories of Belief Transformation
00:29:59
Victoria R
So this is where it's also really important where even if these beliefs are coming through, look for new evidence, look for new evidence of people that are doing the things that you're wanting to do or wanting to believe. You know, if you've got, like, I know people that have, um like, even one of my mentors, she, you know,
00:30:19
Victoria R
terms of money side of things. She grew up, grew up really poor. She didn't have much money. She, you know, was really easy to see. And now she is like very wealthy, ah super, super wealthy. She has literally changed her whole beliefs around money. And as a result, her life is a a reflection of the life that she wanted to have. She she doesn't work a whole lot.
00:30:46
Victoria R
You know, she actually is literally working part-time hours and making millions. And I'm like, that is a freaking inspiration. So of course, I'm going to find evidence in her as to that it can be done. You know, I'm finding evidence in this person close to me knowing that you can read like you can parent differently.
00:31:05
Victoria R
You can have a proper relationship with your children when they're older. Like you can I've seen the evidence of this. So look for the evidence of people that have done this, right, of the evidence that just because someone is rich doesn't mean they're selfish or greedy. You know, like that couple that I said ah donating that $40 million. Look for the evidence. Look for the evidence of, you know, the gender roles. You know, a woman that I follow, she is an absolute boss.
00:31:36
Victoria R
And yet she can go home and she can just relax and know that things are taken care of with her partner. Looking for that evidence, looking for those people that have done this before you, right? And learning from that as well. So like I said, we are so lucky in that we honestly have an abundance of information around us.
Resources for Belief Transformation
00:31:55
Victoria R
So read the books about it. You've read, listen to the podcast, follow the people that are doing what you're wanting to do, what you're wanting to believe. All right. And take that on. Obviously, you know, we're not going to copy people or, you know, think that, you know, the sun shines out of their butt the whole time. Obviously, there's bit of discretion, but you can see the evidence in this as well.
00:32:17
Victoria R
So, like I said, this is something that I think think is just so important because what we're doing now, the work that we're doing, as hard as it is, as as Oh, like sometimes it can feel so tedious when you keep hearing these same stories in your mind. We just need to keep reminding ourselves of the fact that this is so beneficial for those around us. This is so beneficial for our children. This is so beneficial for the future.
00:32:44
Victoria R
So please, let's start paying attention to the stories that we're telling ourselves, the beliefs that we've taken on. Determine whether they're actually yours or not, right? Be curious about it. Take what you need from them. Take the helpful ones, leave the unhelpful ones behind. Identify what's triggering you, maybe what what might revert you back into these old beliefs straight away. be really, really conscious of the language that you're using with yourself and with others, all right?
00:33:12
Victoria R
Be um curious about what you're actually passing on to others and then look for evidence. Look for evidence of what people are doing, how they've already moved on or are doing the things that you want to do and having the beliefs that you want to have, all right? And so i would love to know, If there's any beliefs, anything that's come up, anything that's kind of triggered you or made you think, please let me
Listener Reflections on Belief Journeys
00:33:33
Victoria R
know. I would really love to hear it And I can't wait. I can't wait to see what we can do with all this.
00:33:40
Victoria R
All right. I will speak to you guys next week. Have the most amazing week. Let's pay attention to those thoughts and that inner dialogue. I can't wait to hear what comes up. I'll talk to you soon.