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Celebrating Father's!
25 Plays1 year ago
In this special Father's Day episode, join us as we celebrate the profound impact of fathers and male role models in our lives, our children's lives, and our communities. We explore the unique ways fathers shape our identities as women, imparting wisdom, strength, and resilience that transcend generations!!!
From heartfelt personal anecdotes to inspiring stories of mentorship and guidance, we delve into how these influential figures enrich our lives with their presence and teachings. Whether biological fathers, stepfathers, grandfathers, or mentors, their influence leaves an indelible mark on our journeys.
Through engaging conversations and reflective moments, we honor the diverse roles fathers play—nurturers, providers, and sources of unconditional love. We discuss the invaluable lessons learned from their examples of integrity, compassion, and dedication to family and community.
Join us as we pay tribute to these unsung heroes, acknowledging their pivotal role in shaping a brighter future for us all. This episode is a heartfelt tribute to the fathers and male role models who have touched our lives profoundly and continue to inspire us every day.
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL THE KINGS SHOWING UP & SHOWING OUT! WE SEE YOU, WE VALUE YOU AND WE LOVE YOU!
~Follow us on Facebook
@TayN" MelMel
@MelMel Douglas
@Tay Wavvy
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Transcript
Father's Day Tribute
00:00:11
universalsoultalk
Welcome to Universal Soul Talk podcast. And on this episode, we are here to highlight and celebrate all of the fathers in our lives, in our communities, and around the world. If you're a dad or a father figure listening to this, we want to wish you a happy Father's Day weekend. Thank you so much for tuning in.
The Role of Father Figures
00:00:31
universalsoultalk
Ladies, this conversation is for you too because we we we need to celebrate our men. If we need to talk about the crucial role of having a father figure, of picking the right fathers for our children, and navigating through co-parenting together, so we are going to get right into it.
Host Introductions
00:00:50
universalsoultalk
I'm Tae Wavy, I'm here with Mel Mel Douglas, and we are ready to get started.
00:00:57
Mel Mel
What's up, family? I'm really, really excited to do this episode because I feel like this is something we really, really need to talk more about. And I feel like that's like what all our episodes are to us is things that we feel like are really important. to touch on and talk more about. And I feel like Father's Day is definitely one of those things, like men in general, um but Father's Day is such an important um day to celebrate your man, um your father, whoever is important as a man in your life, grandfather, um and really make them feel valued and loved and appreciated. And so I'm really, really, really looking forward to touching on
00:01:43
Mel Mel
all of these things in this episode. I did want to start off the episode by saying, i I did think this was a really cool fun fact that I learned about Father's Day, and I'm not sure if anybody is aware of the history of Father's Day and how it originally came about, but Father's...
00:02:04
universalsoultalk
I had no idea that there was Father's Day history, by the way. So I'm excited to hear what you have to say.
00:02:08
Mel Mel
Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah, I know. That's what I was saying to him. Like, wow, this is where that's what I love about researching because it's like you can find out so much stuff that you would have never thought would even be a thing.
History of Father's Day
00:02:21
Mel Mel
ah hum So Father's Day was founded by a woman named Sonora Smart-Dod in the early 20th century. And she was inspired by the idea of Mother's Day and wanted to create a similar day to honor the men and fathers.
00:02:39
Mel Mel
um The first Father's Day was celebrated on June 19th, 1910 in Spokane, um Washington. So I thought that was really cool that it goes so far back into history. um I mean, I know you know most most holidays do go back a while, but I never would have thought Father's Day was one of them.
00:03:03
universalsoultalk
Yeah, I never thought twice about like, h who started Father's Day? like Where did that come from? So that is definitely a very interesting fact.
00:03:11
Mel Mel
Right, and it's celebrated like in different dates around the world. So not every not every country celebrates Father's Day on the same day that we do, but normally the United States, Canada and the United Kingdom, it's celebrated on the third Sunday in June and it normally falls on like June 16th. So I thought that was kind of interesting too that, I mean, when you're in different countries, it could be it's not the same day, you know what I'm saying? So that's an interesting um fun fact as well.
Celebrating Fathers Beyond the Day
00:03:48
Mel Mel
And one last thing that I learned, which I thought what I wanted to share, I thought was pretty cool, just so people could potentially do it tomorrow.
00:03:56
Mel Mel
and do something fun and new to kind of like share knowledge with other people. um The rose is the official flower of Father's Day. Wearing a red rose signifies that your father is living. And if your father has passed, a white rose is what you would wear.
00:04:17
universalsoultalk
wow okay i did not know that either that is very very interesting that's pretty that's pretty cool
00:04:28
Mel Mel
Yeah, definitely. i I love these facts. I thought they were pretty fun. um So basically, um that's all the facts that I have in reference to that. There was just a few that I wanted to share with you guys, but um I definitely wanted us to touch on, and of course, Hay Wavy as well, wanted to touch on these things and and discuss um the sentiment of Father's Day and the things that we could do to really um help our men feel appreciated for everything that they do.
00:05:03
universalsoultalk
Yes ma'am and I could not agree more. um I think first and foremost And I know some women are really good at this. Mel, I know that you're good at this, um but I know not everybody kind of feels this way. But I think as women, we have to celebrate the men and the fathers in our lives that show up, that do what they need to do, that put in the effort beyond Father's Day. um Just giving them one day ain't fair enough for me. um The role of a father is fundamental. It is it is the make or break, I know, for some people.
00:05:39
universalsoultalk
arms just to be able to have somebody that shows up for them, that protects them, that provides for them, that's always there for them, that can teach um their sons how to be men, teaching their daughters what to look for in a positive male.
Roles of Father Figures
00:05:54
universalsoultalk
And even if you're not a biological father um the role of stepfathers, bonus parents, coaches, mentors, pastors, leaders, all of those father ship type of roles are so crucial, I feel like in in everybody's development. And we all as people, not even just beyond kids, we all as people really can benefit from having a strong male who's like a father in our lives. And I know that to be true for myself.
00:06:23
universalsoultalk
um I was fortunate to have a great dad growing up um and other male figures in my life to kind of teach me mold me and guide me. um And I just think the first thing that we need to understand is we need to celebrate these guys <unk> beyond Father's Day.
00:06:42
Mel Mel
Yeah, exactly. um ah i had a a Growing up, my dad was such a hardworking man. I mean, so much that like he was never home. because he was providing for my mother and me and then my three other siblings. And so the man was always at work and he worked like three different jobs, had his own business. He was a police officer. So like he was doing a lot and exhausted mentally, physically, emotionally,
00:07:18
Mel Mel
um He would come home literally sleep for like six hours turn around go back and do literally all day long Every single day like no days off type of thing for 35 40 years He is obviously retired now, but I just think back about how grateful I am to have had a father that was so hardworking and so like ambitious and focused to sacrifice his whole life to provide for us and protect for us obviously because he was a police officer and that's what he was trained to do. um But I feel like that's one of the things outside of appreciating fathers and what they do for their families is
00:08:11
Mel Mel
we don't realize how much it can really affect them.
Appreciating Fathers
00:08:17
Mel Mel
Having to be the provider, having to be the man in charge and to be the one that that provides, protects, and and even in some senses has to show still show love and attention and compassion.
00:08:25
universalsoultalk
Yes.
00:08:35
Mel Mel
and be present. And I think that that's really hard um even for me as a woman, but for a man um to have that vulnerability, to have that ability to like decompress and just say, hey, like I'm exhausted. You know what I'm saying? I'm overworked. i'm I need a break. And so I feel like for men, it's it's harder in that sense specifically because in society they are looked at as like they're just supposed to be a robot, basically. There's no emotions, no expressions.
00:09:14
Mel Mel
nothing, just like hyper focused on doing what they're supposed to do as a man. um But I feel like us as their women, their wives, their partners, whatever it is, fiancees, whatever it is that you want to say, um or if you're a daughter, um whatever the case is. I feel like making sure that they they feel appreciated not just on Father's Day, but every day, because I feel like that's what really drives a man. You know what I'm saying? Really drives a man as their family, saying to them, looking them in their face and saying, I am so appreciative and grateful and like privileged and just amazed by you as a man and the things, the sacrifices, the time, the energy,
00:10:05
Mel Mel
that you put in to to take care of us. Now, there's a lot of women obviously that provide as well, and that it's 50-50. But there are ones that are stay-at-home moms, which there's nothing wrong with that. I'm a stay-at-home mom. I worked for many, many, many years, and now I have the privilege of staying home. um And so I like to remind my husband and tell him Hey, look, like you're amazing. You're great. You're a great dad, a great husband, and I'm grateful for you. And I think that that's something just in itself, something so simple like that could really, really like put a fire in their heart to
00:10:47
Mel Mel
wake up in the morning and be like, I'm doing this for my family. You know what I'm saying? I'm doing like, I may not want to go. I may be exhausted, but like my family appreciates me. My family loves me and like I'm doing it for them.
00:11:02
universalsoultalk
I agree, girl, I think, and I have found that um myself, that it is so powerful for a man to hear, hey, I appreciate you. I see you. I value you. I notice your sacrifice. I value your sacrifice. arm Allowing your man to take off that that weight of the world that I feel like a lot of good strong masculine fathers carry they carry the weight of the world on their shoulders and I know as men um They don't always feel safe to come out of that mode and I know as women especially Mel and I we talk a lot about Being in your soft girl era letting like, you know, relaxing your nervous system and things like that and men deserve similar grace obviously not to be in their soft girl era and but men deserve to have a safe place to where they can put their load down for a little bit and find peace and find safety and find that they are valued within their
Acknowledging Non-Romantic Father Figures
00:12:07
universalsoultalk
homes. And you don't have to be with your kid's father in in a romantic sense to do that for them on as as women. And that's, I'm learning that as someone who is not with their kid's father,
00:12:21
universalsoultalk
um I'm just trying to understand different dynamics of like how I can celebrate father figures that are are in my kids' lives, um that I'm not romantically involved with because my kids have a bunch of father figures in their lives. um And it's just really letting the man know, like, hey, I see you. I appreciate you. I value you. These kids need you. I need you. thank you and um i feel like we get so caught up sometimes in like we gotta do all these big materialistic productions for men and i know with my man um who is he's not my kids father but he has stepped up in incredible ways for me and my children um he's like you don't need to get me all this stuff man like you don't need to take me all these places that stuff is nice and that stuff is appreciated and i will still be doing those things but
00:13:16
universalsoultalk
Like Mel was saying, there is so much power in just telling a man, hey, thank you. I notice you. Thank you for making my load easier. Thank you for not having me out here in my masculine daddy era while I'm trying to be in my soft mommy era and just letting a man know how appreciated he is. And I try to do that um since I was a single mom for so long. I've had a lot of male friends in my life that I consider brothers step up for me and my kids and would come over and do help me with the weight of the world that was on my shoulder. um So just really showing love and showing appreciation for men truly goes so far.
00:14:02
Mel Mel
Yeah, and i I also feel like men need to feel safe too.
Creating Supportive Environments for Fathers
00:14:06
Mel Mel
You know what I'm saying? Like men need to know that like their woman is at home holding it down. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like she's got his back. She's like willing to step up and do what she needs to do on her end, whether that's taking care of the kids, whether that's taking care of the groceries, whether that's like you know accounting and like keeping track of the bills, keeping track of like what you spend, um cleaning the house, making sure the laundry's done. like All of those things are looked at from like a perspective of, like oh, that's just house made work. No, it's not.
00:14:41
Mel Mel
because when a man comes home to a house that smells good, is clean, they got clean clothes for work the next day, their baby's clean, their baby's been fed, there's dinner on the table or even like dinner prepped ready to go, a hot meal for them, like for them to be at work all day long, sweating, exhausted, having to deal with like the mental and physical emotional aspect that like they're sacrificing to have to deal with so you don't have to. They come home and they're like, I don't want to do nothing, but just like go to swash my, my ass and go to sleep. You know what I'm saying? And like, so for them to come home and have the luxury, have that like that safety, that safe haven, that comfort,
00:15:36
Mel Mel
that they know when they get home, they're going to have these things, they look forward to coming home. You know what I'm saying? And I'm not saying if you don't have like a meal prepared, like that doesn't make you a good partner or a good wife, that's not what I'm trying to say, but I'm saying that those things really make a difference. Like on Father's Day, my husband's birthday, like I try to go up and out of my way to like A, make his favorite meal, um be like do things that are expected like men to do with women i buy my husband balloons i like make him valentine's day baskets i make him easter baskets and he's like i don't you know i don't really care about none of that and i'm like but i do because you deserve it you know what i'm saying i've even like gone you know how on valentine's day
00:16:28
Mel Mel
like women are expected to be the ones that receive all of this stuff and it better be extravagant and it better be fancy and it better be like all out and I'm over here like I don't I don't really care about it you know what I'm saying like you are my Valentine's Day present because you're a friggin blessing you know what I'm saying like you're a rare divine masculine man and like I'm grateful for you so like let me do for you And I'll sit there and put rose petals on the bed.
00:16:59
Mel Mel
I made him like, I got him these like chocolate covered strawberries. And it like, and I'm just gonna say it said something funny on it. um I don't want to be like inappropriate just in case, but I'm fine.
00:17:12
universalsoultalk
girl.
00:17:13
Mel Mel
I'm just saying, you know, um, and I went just made him like a basket full of candy and all types of stuff, you know what I'm saying? And then I run him a bath and there's been times that like I gave him like full body massages. Like he's like, oh my back hurts. I'm like, okay, let me rub it. You know what I'm saying? Let me, oh, my foot hurts from playing soccer. Okay, cool. Let me rub your foot. You know what I'm saying? Like little things like that. make them feel so good and so appreciated. So I feel like women need to recognize that like it doesn't bring you out of your feminine energy.
00:17:52
Mel Mel
to like do the things that like in society people are like, oh no, you should as ah I'm the woman, you should be doing that for me. I feel like stepping out of that like societal perspective and like really doing the same for your man, like making it equal for him as well. You know what I'm saying? like It shouldn't just always be the woman receiving.
00:18:16
universalsoultalk
I absolutely agree with that. And I just want to expand on what you were saying from a working mother, working wifey
Men's Need for Space and Support
00:18:25
universalsoultalk
perspective. It's not always cause like, you know, I know in some households it is 50 50 and that works for you and that's amazing. And I love that for you. Um, so I know that sometimes you work, uh, and he works and then he prepares dinner and he does the laundry and he puts the kids to bed. But there is a mental, emotional, and spiritual aspect to where we, I feel like we could do better. And all of us, some of us are are doing what we gotta to do, but as a as a collective, we can do better um providing a safe
00:18:58
universalsoultalk
sacred peaceful place for a man to let his guard down let him let him dive deep into his masculine era let him have that fire really under his ass to get out there and keep doing what he needs to do to keep making things happen I feel like as women we kind of have a small advantage when it comes to like oh my gosh I've had a hard day um I'm gonna lay up on the couch. I'm gonna you know what I mean? I'm not gonna do anything I'm gonna shut the world off like I don't want to be bothered. I don't want to you know, whatever whatever and I think that that's that's healthy we all get like that sometimes it's important to take time for yourself like that and
00:19:43
universalsoultalk
but I notice especially when I have conversations and from past relationships and I haven't always been as aware as I am now like oh wow is my man feeling the same way does my man need to come home sometimes and just like phew like feel like he can let his guard down feel like he could let his emotions down I feel like men are naturally naturally on guard all the time they're the protectors men are naturally protected um so can you provide a place for your man to just to just be to just fill his own cup I know sometimes men
00:20:19
universalsoultalk
take advantage of women who are like oh yeah go do you fill your own cup but if you're with a divine masculine male him taking him time to fill his own cup that's not gonna be anything detrimental to your relationship I'm not and I'm not talking about the man that's like okay I'm gonna call up you know Uh, go out to the club and, and, you know, be MIA and not come home till four o'clock in the morning. That's not, not at all what I'm referring to, but taking time. I know Mel, you say sometimes like your husband goes out to like play soccer. Um, and I feel like you, you allowing him that space to be like,
00:20:47
Mel Mel
Right.
00:20:52
universalsoultalk
he worked all day you know whatever he's got a lot on his plate he protects he provides he's a present dad he's there for you he's there for your daughter and you're like yeah like you want to go out and you want to play soccer that is such like a healthy thing that i'm sure makes him feel like rejuvenated you know he's still obviously exerting energy but it's like doing something that he wants to do and making him feel empowered and making him feel like wow my wife is supportive of not just like my dreams in my career and not just supportive in me being a good dad, but me doing things that help fill my own cup. And that's something that you guys do that I find so, so, so beautiful.
00:21:29
Mel Mel
Yeah, it it's something that makes him very happy. He has a huge passion for soccer and him playing soccer is like a release for him. And I feel like men need that. Men need that too. They need to be able to go do something to release that stress, release those feelings, release that energy, that they may be carrying around. um And I feel like that's a a lot of the time, even myself, you know, I'm human, we're all human, we forget sometimes, we get comfortable in our uncomfortability. And
00:22:13
Mel Mel
I know there's times that I sit there and I don't think about every second of the day, obviously, what my husband might be going through at work, you know, unless he expresses it to me, um explains it to me, gives me like, you know, a rundown on how his day was and what he went through. Like if it's one of those bad days, you know, because my husband's pretty chill. He's kind of, he's really good with like, Not conflict, but like negativity or tension-filled environments or like stressful environments. He's really good at like navigating through that and like keeping his energy neutral. But sometimes, like any of us, you have those days where people just like really test your damn patience and they really push that button you know over and over and over again. And whether it's like morals or values or just difference in opinions, sometimes you're just like,
00:23:10
Mel Mel
you know, I need to, I'd like to scream. I'd like to like, you know, go like to the gym and like do some punching bags or like run, you know, as, as long as I can until I'm exhausted, just to like get rid of that, that negative energy. And that's what soccer does for him. And, and sometimes he does it a couple of times a week. And I just sit there and say to myself, I'm like, listen, he could be out going to clubs. He could be at the strip club. He could be playing games and like going to like, people's houses and staying out till four o'clock in the morning. He could be drinking all the time. He could be partying all the time. He could be wanting to go to clubs, but my man's at home. like My man wants to come home when he gets off from work. he That is his like safe place. That is his
00:23:59
Mel Mel
his safe haven and his comfort. And so in his mind, he's like, I'm not trying to go with y'all. Like I'm going home to my, I'm going home to my wife and my baby. Cause like, that's where my happiness is. That's where my peace is. And I think that's what we need to emphasize is being their peace too. You know, obviously yeah I would expect that they are your peace in this type of healthy, like divine energy. union, but that's really important and I feel like a lot of us kind of get lost in that sometimes and we forget.
00:24:40
universalsoultalk
I completely agree so I feel like that's a great way just to wrap that portion up of just like taking some more time to be mindful of the weight that men carry, the burden that men carry. um I'm not a man so I don't know what it's like to be a man but I know from talking to men and being around men it ain't easy being a man.
Impact of Stepdads and Mentors
00:25:03
universalsoultalk
It ain't easy being a man that's doing the right thing. It's not easy being a man that's working ah the right way for his money, that's taking care of his family, that's up against all of the societal judgments and quote-unquote norms and statistics and and so many of those things. So shout out to all the dads that are doing what they have to do and putting in the work that they need to be putting in. May your woman be your peace. Ladies, let let's try to do
00:25:32
universalsoultalk
better as a collective to be our piece for our men. um And I also just wanted to shout out bonus dads, step dads, I don't know what you call it, but there's something so beautiful to me as someone who is a single mother. Meeting somebody who is not blood related to your children, but steps in and steps up into that father role. um I know that I am living, I'm living that right now. And I know, I know it's not easy. I know it's not easy for the man I'm with to navigate in my co-parenting space because it's, it's not perfect. There's, there's some drama and that's, I'll leave it at that. There's, there's drama. It's messy sometimes. It's a lot, but
00:26:27
universalsoultalk
he does it so gracefully and he does it so willingly to support me as a mom to celebrate me as a mom and to be there for my kids as they need it in a way that's respectful not only to me but respectful to them and to their boundaries um even though i'm sure there are times that he wants to like say something negative about my kid's father, he never does. He never tells my kids anything negative about their dad. He encourages them to respect their dad. He encourages them to do the right thing when they're over there. But he also
00:27:07
universalsoultalk
silently and it's silently to them not silently to me will pick up the pieces that they come broken with due to being in a split family. um I know that there was a situation that my oldest was going through and I'm not one to tell all my kids business so not gonna tell his business but my son was going through something not that long ago and he had a really hard time expressing the root of the issue he was going through because he's a kid and um I was getting frustrated my you know my nine-year-old was getting frustrated my kid's dad was completely disconnected from the situation was like I don't see no problems not my problem whatever and um my partner
00:27:52
universalsoultalk
Stood my son up and had a conversation with him. I was I was in the room just because that made all of us comfortable But he was like hey, man, like let's talk about it What's going on? Are there any outside influences that are influencing you with this situation? Is there something that you're feeling like a need that's not being met for you? Is there an emotional piece of this that like we can work on together and long story short? my son who he's not and he's nine but he's not he's not very sensitive um he broke down crying but like like a relief he was relieved and he was he hugged me and he collapsed on me and he was like thank you guys so much like having you know my partner talking to him like that and pouring into him like that
00:28:37
universalsoultalk
Changed his emotional state and that was such a a a beautiful moment for me and I'm like trying not to cry right now thinking about it But it just made me think like my my man didn't have to do that. You know what I mean? He already protects us. He already provides for us if I'm um If I'm not feeling well or something like that. He'll have no problem getting up with the kids Hey, leave your mom alone. Like I'll make you guys breakfast. It's don't bother her bother me. if I have an appointment and not even just a medical appointment if I have a nail appointment he's like you go ahead you go I'm gonna you know play with the kids take him to the park whatever but to go that extra mile and make sure that emotional needs are met going out of his way to bond I have three kids so it's you gotta bond with everybody differently and if you have multiple kids you know that what works for one child isn't what opens up another child so just having
00:29:29
universalsoultalk
um Another father figure that's not a biological father is just so beautiful and so appreciated and so valued. And I know I have so many friends and colleagues and I see it online all the time of people who wouldn't be where they are today if it wasn't for the man that stepped up into their lives. And that's not always a bonus dad. That's not always a stepdad. I know that sometimes that's an uncle. That's a brother. That's a nephew. It's a cousin.
Non-Biological Fathers' Impact
00:30:01
universalsoultalk
It's a pastor. It's a leader. It's a mentor. It's a coach.
00:30:06
universalsoultalk
And, um, I just really wanted to shout those men out because I feel like when it's biologically your child, and I know some men still drop the ball, but like it's, it's your job. It really is your job. Once you have a child to take care of your child, it is not your job necessarily to step up for somebody else who did not come from your seat. So when I see a man able to put his ego, pride, whatever, aside, to make sure that he's there for somebody else in a way that they're lacking, in the way of having a strong father figure in their life. I personally, I think that's one of the most commendable things that I have ever seen, that I've ever been a part of. And men who are able to do that without any exterior motive of, you know, ego, I think that that's so beautiful and that needs to be celebrated too.
00:31:06
Mel Mel
Yeah, I think being a bonus dad or a stepdad or a coach or a mentor or any of that where you step out of your like the fact that you're not necessarily responsible for this child and you pour into them and you make them feel safe and you build that rapport with them and you really allow them to have that figure that they may not have, whether their father's just not in their life or their father passed away or their father's in jail or whatever the case is. You know what I'm saying? Life is life. Shit happens. It's so significant. Like that role of stepping in and someone else's shoes in place of those shoes is so significant.
00:31:56
Mel Mel
in that child's life and it it could potentially save their life. It could potentially redirect them into a more positive, healthy, progressive path and journey, um which if that individual didn't take that opportunity or or take fill that spot, it could really be
00:32:22
Mel Mel
devastating, if you will, for that for that child because having that hole in your heart, having that void as a child, um not feeling whole and not feeling loved and not having that like figure in your life to guide you, protect you, and like keep you on track. um I feel like that just allows the kids to be lost and just kind of roam in hopes that someone steps up to like put them back in the right direction. You know what I'm saying? So definitely shout out to all the fathers out there, um ladies, wives, mothers, sisters,
00:33:09
Mel Mel
all of the women out there that have you know your important men in your life that do right by you and love you and provide and protect for you and are there for you in emotional, mental state. um Love your men in every way that you can because in society right now, they aren't allowed to do what we do.
Men's Mental Health Awareness
00:33:34
Mel Mel
we They aren't allowed to be vulnerable, they're not allowed to express their emotions. they're not And they don't even feel comfortable to do so because of how society ah molds them and this and you know this perspective of them. And so just pour into your fathers and your and your husbands as well. Pour into them, remind them how much you appreciate them, you love them, you value them.
00:34:05
Mel Mel
and
00:34:08
Mel Mel
just Just show them love in every aspect that you can.
00:34:16
universalsoultalk
Yes ma'am and to the men, I was just thinking about this as you were saying it. You're talking about the child with no strong father figure kind of feeling lost and feeling displaced and feeling abandoned. Shout out to the men that grew up like that and took a stand to grow into a strong father and broke that generational curse of, yeah, my dad may have not been present or I didn't have a good father or he wasn't around or he hurt me or he hurt my mom and I will never be that man again.
00:34:32
Mel Mel
Right. Mm-hmm.
00:34:46
universalsoultalk
You are healing your generational bloodline. And I think that that needs to be acknowledged a little bit more too, because I see so many great men that didn't have the best father figures and they are out here slaying. They are out here doing what they need to do.
00:35:01
Mel Mel
Yeah, celebrate those men.
00:35:02
universalsoultalk
They're out here.
00:35:04
Mel Mel
Celebrate them.
00:35:04
universalsoultalk
Yes, yes, yes, like those men are absolutely amazing. um And just for everyone in general who maybe be their dad has passed away, or they never had a strong father figure in their lives, I know holidays like this can be so triggering. and so kind of like you don't even know how to process days like today and i just wanted to send you so much love so much peace i know it's it's really it's got to be really hard to navigate i know sometimes just thinking about my co-parenting situation and how like i wish i had more for my kids
00:35:47
universalsoultalk
from their actual father at times. like That's emotional for me. So I couldn't imagine how it feels to not actually have a dad and um not have strong men in my life to uplift me. So if this is a hard time of year for you or a hard day for you, um take time to take care of yourself. take time to think about the good times you had with the with your father. Think about how you can do things differently in your life when it comes to choosing a partner so that your child doesn't have to go through what you went through. um And I feel like together, by being mindful, by using discernment, by tapping into our divine masculine and feminine energies, we can really bring strong families back. I feel like there's so much glorified
00:36:38
universalsoultalk
split families and unhealed families. And I know sometimes, trust me, I know sometimes families need to be split up for everybody's safety and well-being. But I think that with more conversation, with showing our men love, with men showing us love in return, um we can really cultivate healthy dynamics, healthy strong households and give the next generation something beautiful to hold on to because it's it's a tough society out here and I truly believe that the only way we can get through it in a progressive way and really make it is if we stick together and we bring back families and families not always you know it's not always blood sometimes it is stepdaddy sometimes it is uncle sometimes it is stepmoms whatever
00:37:25
universalsoultalk
you have to do to highlight, cultivate, and create that safe family dynamic for you. Please do that. And arm just just want just one last thing, single moms, this is not your holiday. I really, I i understand when you're playing a mom and dad role, um it's easy to be like, well, you know, happy Father's Day to me, but But I think that we really got to give this to the men. We got to let the men have their time to shine. We don't need to take anything from the men. You are an amazing mother and father figure every day of the year. If your child wants to wish you a happy Father's Day, that's cool. But tearing down other men who are trying to have their moments
00:38:10
universalsoultalk
when I feel like men don't get their moment a lot. um just We need to just let the men have this one. So men, y'all got this. And um yeah, that's all I got. Mel, you got anything else to say?
00:38:23
Mel Mel
Yeah, so I wanted to ah just give you guys this information not to put any like darkness on this positive, happy celebration of our men, but just something to keep in mind in the back of your mind um and the things that your husband may go through and he doesn't necessarily complain or explain it or vent or open up. about it because maybe one, society and the way that they do things, two, maybe he's not comfortable enough. Maybe the the times he's tried to explain things in the past, there's been a little bit of you know back and forth and he just shuts down whatever the case is. Maybe he's been through things in the past and he just doesn't really know how to express himself. He's not there yet. He's not healed enough yet. um Keep in mind that they normally are very,
00:39:20
Mel Mel
silent about what they go through and where their heart and head is really at at the end of the day and men men suffer in silence, too um So in saying that I just wanted to give you guys this information um Men are nearly four more times Four times more often than women to commit suicide because of feeling societal pressure, relationship pressure, work pressure, whatever the case is. know where to turn. They don't know who they can talk to. They don't feel comfortable based off of the pressures in you know the world today of what is expected of men. Men can't cry. Men can't vent. Men can't complain. They have to just suck it up. um And I think this is really important to know that four four times more often than women. That's 22.8
00:40:29
Mel Mel
per 100,000 compared to women, that's 5.7 per 100,000. So that's a significant increase in numbers in comparison to us as women. And I'm not taking away from women and what we go through, we have our own issues, okay? But this is just highlighting that men sometimes feel stuck. They feel, Like they have nowhere to go, no one to talk to, no one to, like they can't. you know they They can't, they shouldn't, and so they don't. So I just thought that was something really important to point out to you guys to think about and to not make you feel bad, um but to educate you and enlighten you and maybe help you to look at things from a different perspective.
00:41:23
Mel Mel
um But we want to extend our heartfelt gratitude to all the fathers, stepfathers, grandfathers, father figures, mentors, coaches. um Your love and dedication and sacrifices shape our lives in ways that words can't really can't really capture. um So let's celebrate not only the lessons and wisdom you've imparted, but also the everyday moments of support providing protection and love that truly make a difference in our life.
00:41:58
universalsoultalk
Yes, and thank you so much for sharing that, Mel. I think that that is so important. um I definitely wanted to let you guys know that we do plan on touching a little bit more on men's mental health because it is Men's Mental Health Awareness Month this
Inviting Men's Perspectives on Fatherhood
00:42:12
universalsoultalk
month. So our next episode, we are going to be focusing more on men's mental health. And if any man is listening to this and you have insight for us or you want to be a guest, we can always come back to this conversation, bring you on. you can let us know what we can do as women or what you notice in the man community that really needs um some public addressing and we would love to share our space with you share our platform with you allow you to speak your mind speak your heart speak your truth whatever it is that um you you have to say we want to hear from you so don't ever hesitate to reach out i don't care when you're listening to this if it's father's day or it's
00:42:39
Mel Mel
Right.
00:42:52
universalsoultalk
September. um We can always come back to this conversation because y'all deserve a voice and a platform just the same way that we do. So don't hesitate to contact either Mel or I. And we'd love to revisit this conversation. And yes, Happy Father's Day.
00:43:07
Mel Mel
Please do, somebody please reach out, because we we would really, really love to hear it from a man a man's perspective and really get it you know in the raw information.
00:43:09
universalsoultalk
Yes. Please.
00:43:17
Mel Mel
So please somebody reach out, we would love to hear it.
00:43:18
universalsoultalk
Yes.
00:43:21
universalsoultalk
Yes, yes, so yes. Happy Father's Day to all the amazing men out there. If my dad is listening to this, dad, happy Father's Day to you. Thank you so much for all you do for me. Thank you for the crucial role you play in my kids' lives. I appreciate you to my partner in crime. Baby, thank you so much for making motherhood easier for me by being the man that you are, even though my kids aren't yours biologically. I see you. I appreciate you. on And yeah, that that's all I got. Thank you guys so much for listening.
00:43:52
Mel Mel
Yes, and thank you guys. We appreciate every time you tune in with us and join us through every bit of topic that we we discuss. And I definitely want to shout out to my man, 100%, my husband, my best friend, my partner in life, my ride or die. um I get emotional because I am really blessed. I can't even express and i hope I hope to everyone that you find that kind of bond one day because it is truly a beautiful, beautiful thing and I am truly grateful for everything that he does.
00:44:33
Mel Mel
um And yeah, I love you. Love you, love you, love you so much. And shout out to my dad as well. um We ah always haven't had the best relationship, but you know we bounced back from that. We're in a much better place now. We at least see eye to eye. And ah thank you for everything you did for our family and for me providing and protecting. um And yeah, thanks guys for for everything.
00:45:01
universalsoultalk
Happy Father's Day y'all!
00:45:03
Mel Mel
Happy Father's Day!