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A Merry Chatsunami Christmas?! Let's Discuss BAD Christmas Films
25 Plays1 hour ago
It's THAT time of year again! Satsunami and Andrew return to an old Chatsunami Christmas tradition of reviewing bad Christmas films, this time tackling Hallmark's A Merry Scottish Christmas and Netflix's A Merry Little Ex-Mas. But which one takes the Christmas crown for being the WORST? Why did A Merry Scottish Christmas offend Satsu so much?! And why are we giving 5 points to Griffindor?! All of this and more in this week's episode!
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Transcript
Exchanging Early Christmas Gifts
00:00:01
Speaker
Merry Christmas, Satsu! I got you a little something. Aww, thanks man. That is so nice of you, even though Christmas is still a few weeks away. Alright, what's the game then? What?
00:00:14
Speaker
There's no game. Can a co-host buy his fellow host an early gift they should totally open right now? Well, okay, but only for you. Wait a I recognise this DVD. Cheesy cover. Offensive stereotypes. A Hallmark logo. Oh, sweet Jesus, no. It can't be that time of year again. Oh, yes, it can. Welcome to the bad Christmas movie episode, Panelorians.
00:00:37
Speaker
Oh, why me? Oh.
Introduction to Chatsunami Podcast
00:00:43
Speaker
Hello everybody and welcome to another festive-filled episode of Chatsunami. My name's Satsunami and joining me is none other than the Hallmark Master himself. Your ex-co-host. And ex-co-host is Andrew. Andrew, welcome back.
00:00:59
Speaker
Thank you for having me back. It's so wonderful I'm glad that the holiday joy has brought us back together. Maybe with this little bit of Christmas magic that will rekindle our podcast love together and once again, recouple. Will it Yeah, no, jokes aside, yes, we have indeed been united this very wonderful season of Christmas to, yeah, bring you once again as that time of year where we go away and decide to Is punish the right word for this episode?
Tradition of Reviewing Bad Christmas Movies
00:01:30
Speaker
but ah Depends on the given year. Yeah, true, because usually we give each other gifts every the year, you know, for Christmas, as friends do, but for the podcast, we also give each other anti-gifts, and of course, by anti-gifts, I mean... not like a gift your auntie gives you, like a really cool scarf, more of like a bad, different universe kind of gift.
00:01:50
Speaker
Where's a little goatee? Where's a goatee, did you say? Yeah, you know Star Trek when they go to the bad universe and it's sold to them but they have like moustaches or goatees. Oh, okay. Also, I'm really proud of you for making a Star Trek reference. haven't even watched it. I don't even know you knew about that part of Star Trek, but... I know a shocking amount about Star Trek for someone who's never watched an episode Star Trek. How do you know these are the bad guys? Well, this guy has a beard. Say no more. It's okay.
00:02:16
Speaker
Well, they think they when reference another pop culture thing. Remember Bender's evil brother in Futurama, and he has a little magnetic little beard thing? Oh, yeah, of course. yeah But sorry, tangents aside there. Every year, and I don't know if this actually started back in season one or two of the podcast, but every year we decide to least cover one potentially bad Christmas
Challenges of Finding 'A Merry Scottish Christmas'
00:02:39
Speaker
movie. But it wasn't until, I think, two... two years ago, wasn't ah that you and I decided that we were going to give each other a bad Christmas film to watch and initially it was like, oh, this is quite a fun one-off episode, which then turned into relatively potential Chatsunami tradition, wasn't it? Yeah, we didn't end up doing it last year because we did the Grinch thing instead. Maybe that'll become the tradition of every other year we do this, or potentially going forward it'll be an annual thing if we review a bad Christmas movie that we've each suggested. Once every two years. Of course, today we are bringing you two absolutely delightfully horrific bad Christmas films. And you're stalking this episode. We are going to be talking about the Hallmark film, A Merry Scottish Christmas, which, can I just say, bloody impossible to find this film. I didn't tell you this, but when you first brought this film up and you said, oh we have to review it, i went to to Amazon and I went to the Hallmark TV subscription thing. And I thought, that's fine, you know, I'll go on there and try and see if I can find this. So I looked there, it wasn't there. I looked on Channel 5, which shows all the Hallmark films, wasn't there. It wasn't even free on YouTube. So getting a hold of this film was incredibly
Critique of 'A Merry Scottish Christmas'
00:03:56
Speaker
difficult. I just want to point that out to the Pandalurians listening at home. Yeah, this is the sacrifice we have made for you. The UK government has buried this film because they know the Scottish random to occur so they had to bury the episode they couldn't let the scotland forever movie out into the wild i mean to be honest i think it just made me more angry at america after watching this the english aren't so bad after this no after this i was like yeah let's book a holiday to london jesus christ i just saluted maggie thatcher i don't know what happened there whoa whoa
00:04:29
Speaker
Oh, anyway, milk snatching aside, it is a marvel of a film. And before we dive into this film, and of course the film that I chose as well, which I'll get onto to in a minute, what was the thought process, Andrew, behind recommending this film? Other than the fact it's obviously a Hallmark film, it's bad. Yeah, what was your other motivation for this one? I don't... fully remember how I discovered this film I was on IMDB and I happened to see this film recommended somewhere through some other actor I guess that's in it and I was like what's this and I clicked on it and then i saw that the actress that played Gretchen Wiener in Mean Girls was in it and I thought that was really funny and I was like all right I need to look more into this and so I suggested it to you that we should sort of invest Yeah, it was certainly Scottish. Yeah, emphasis on the ish. Irish, if you will.
00:05:28
Speaker
but Because, yeah, this film apparently is so Scottish that it got a financial grant from the Irish government to film in Ireland. That is how Scottish this film is. And before any of the Americans who don't know what a map looks like are scratching their head out there are going, oh, what's the difference? They're a separate country?
00:05:49
Speaker
separated by water? They're on different islands? It is not hard to know, but unfortunately, the people who made this film don't know their arse from their elbow, let's just say. I have so many thoughts about this film, seriously. It's so weird that the Irish government would fund this film that does not promote Ireland. It's entirely promoting Scotland, even when lot of the scenes are filmed in Ireland. Why would they think that would be good? Did they sell this movie to the Irish government thinking it was a merry Irish Christmas and they, like, pulled the rug under them i mean granted i think it's probably more of like a tax break thing but even then the irish lost out on this but both financially and reputation wise i just i don't understand this all there's a lot of people that saw in the comments of facebook which turns out by the way saying facebook there is a hallmark film appreciation club amazing or something like that i did not know that existed but it's one of those dead internet theory things when i'm looking through it going this has to be bots and then by the end of it i was like i hope this is boss because i cannot live in a world and rationalize people liking these films unironically yeah it' it's just as baffling but as i said It is so baffling and it's so bad that unless you live in certain countries, you genuinely can't find this film, which is the complete opposite to the other film that we're going to be reviewing today, A Very Little Xmas, which you were just telling me there before we came on that there's hundreds of films like this.
Discussion on 'A Merry Little Xmas'
00:07:20
Speaker
Well, there's not hundreds of films, but there's another film with...
00:07:22
Speaker
Pretty much the same title. It's just called A Merry Xmas. And so I was re-worried that I'd watched the wrong one by the end of the film. Because, again, we'll get into it when we review that film. Because I didn't think it was a bad movie. And so I was like, oh no, maybe I watched the wrong one. Maybe there's a much worse film was supposed to have watched. Yeah, no, was definitely the right one. Because this film stars actors and actresses that are surprisingly, I wouldn't say, well, well known. People Alicia Silverstone. Yeah, they know Alicia Silverstone from Is It Clueless She Was In. Yeah, Clueless is her main thing. She's been in other stuff, but her breakout film was definitely Clueless. And then you've got Militia Joan Hart, who was Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Not the new one, the old one. Wait, who? You know her friend who flies the drone at one point. Oh, the real estate agent one. Uh-huh, yeah. That was Sabrina the Teenage Witch? Yeah, uh-huh. That's funny. Isn't it? Jamila Jamil's in it as well. Oh, yeah, of course. Because as soon as she appeared, i was like, oh, it's that person from The Good Place. playing her exact character from The Good Place. It's say exactly the same, isn't it? I thought, oh my God, not breaking out of the roles here. And then, of course, you've got the rest. but Those are the kind of heavy hitters of this film. And I have to say, I got a lot more laughs out of this film than I did at A Merry Scottish Christmas. But at the same time, if it wasn't for the ending of this film, and as I said, we will get onto but the ending genuinely left me a little bit bitter and angry at it because it starts off feeling like an anti-Hallmark film and I thought, oh, this is going to be cool. are they going to spin it and then it just falls into the pitfalls of a Hallmark film? But yeah, that's why I recommended it for this episode, and it's got nothing to do with the fact that both of these films start with the word Ameri. See, without any further ado, will we take our seats in this terrible Christmas theatre and tell the Pandalorians what we thought of these films? Let's get our Christmas Shetland ponies out and celebrate the Christmas solstice together. Yes, and as long as it's not between the 1600s and the mid-1900s, we can celebrate Christmas without breaking the law. So if you got that reference, I am so sorry. But if not, we will explain right after these messages. Welcome to Chatsunami, a Scottish variety podcast that discusses topics from gaming and films to anime and general interest. Join me, your host, Satsunami, as well as the rest of our Chatsunami team for our takes on these very important pop culture topics. Sir, it's clearly a trap. I accept your page! That happens three times in the film. like Every time that general goes, don't do this one thing, he goes, do you know what I'ma do? It's the exact thing.
00:09:57
Speaker
It does as well. She had the pointy teeth. What was that about? She looked like Bilbo when he wants the ring back. but She did, didn't she? I just want the lightsaber one more time. Parasite says, no, you will get back into your office and work. No, says the man in Zoom. yeah Trousers are for the working man You're bursting into your hotel room. Honey, we need to go.
00:10:20
Speaker
Leave the kids. You can milk an odish. That's the worst thing you've ever said on any of the episodes. If that sounds like your cup of tea, then you can check us out at our website, chattsunami.com, as well as all good podcast apps. As always, stay safe, stay awesome, and most importantly, stay hydrated. Stay classy and have man. This has been chattsunami.
00:10:48
Speaker
I'm sorry, what?
00:11:01
Speaker
Welcome to the trailer for Gaming Views. Think of it as the demo level before the real action kicks off. We're Dan and Dan and every week we're bringing hot takes, breaking news, deep dives and everything gaming related.
00:11:14
Speaker
From the biggest headlines to retro classics, hardware breakdowns and inside scoops on developers, we cover it all. So level up your gaming knowledge, subscribe to Gaming Views wherever you get your podcasts and don't miss out.
00:11:32
Speaker
And we are back. That is an hour and a half of my life. I will never get back. Let's dive into A Merry Scottish Christmas. Do you want to summarise this in a couple of sentences or less, Andrew? Because I feel as if I'm just going to rant about this film. Alright, so the film takes place with a brother and a sister who've become kind of estranged from me each other, travelling to Scotland at the request of their mother to celebrate the holidays together, and supposedly she's going to tell them some big secret or something like that. They arrive at a castle, which is supposedly their hotel. And they're like, wow, this is random. Why is our hotel a castle? And then they discover their mother is in fact the heir to this castle, which makes them also the heirs to this castle. And there's a whole family history where the mother had run away from her responsibilities to be a musician in America. And so the brother and sister now have to reconcile with their mother's history and their own relationships that have fallen apart. Also tagged onto that is a wacky collection of Scottish characters that so to fill out this film, including love interest McGee. No, Mac-Gee. Come on now. Mac-Gee, sorry. Who is her of love interest that I never have any kind of feeling of chemistry there. He's just kind of there. Hamish, f***ing everywhere. Wherever they go, Hamish is there, and he's the most annoying character. He's their Scottish tour guide, who's not actually Scottish. And also the butler, who's also just there sometimes. but doesn't really have any influence over anything that happens at any point in the film. And by the end of the film, both the brother and the sister have decided they're going to move to Scotland and live in this castle. It's all a big happy ending that she now has a boyfriend from this, again, this random guy. And yeah, it's it's your standard Hallmark film. Very boring. There nothing really of note in it. But did I miss anything from that? Is there anything you want to kind of bring up there? Well, I was going to say spoiler warning, but to be honest, this film is so obscure that I don't think it really matters anymore. And for all the fans out there that are going to um actually us, what fans? I mean...
00:13:31
Speaker
Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, to be honest, this film offended me in a spiritual level, in a national level, and I cannot believe how fast it got offensive. And again, when I say offensive, I'm half joking here, but one bit that you missed out, and obviously it wasn't a very important one, was the way this film starts.
00:13:50
Speaker
It was something that I was messaging you about where at the very beginning they show you all these random places in Scotland. None of them, by the way, that they go to in the actual film. So they show you hills of a place that I am 90% sure is sky in Portrait. Yes, it's the Old Man Sky, I always called. Yeah, because I was going to say old man ahoy, but that's the one in Orkney. But yeah, that one. Because there's that. There's the Notter Castle, which I've been to. So I was like, oh I've been to that castle in the pouring rain, but I've been to Then they show you a shot Edinburgh, I think. Yeah, it's Princess Street. There's shot there. Oh, and I've been there. Yeah, and then you're like, okay, when are they going to go to these places? Spoilers, they never do because they filmed the rest in Ireland, apparently. Then in the very beginning, and there's one line that immediately turned me off this film. Immediately I thought, right, I am going into this film with a closed mind from now on. You had your chance and you squandered it. And it's when the brother and his wife get off the plane and the guy says, oh, that was a long 14 hour flight. The guy beside us was listening to bagpipe music in his earphones. And I was like, hold on. Even for the memes, we do not listen to bagpipe music in our earphones. And then he goes up to the counter to get coffee, doesn't he? And it's not even like, oh, can I get a mocha or something? Remember he says like a Mac mochaccino or something like that? And it's like, like
00:15:17
Speaker
How many Scottish stereotypes do you just want to cram down in the first minute? This is the first minute of the film, by the way. Am I like a macchiato mocha chino? Yeah, no, but it's like a mac and macchiato or something, yeah. It's a bit like if you had a film where someone flew to America and was like, boy, I'm hankering for a cheeseburger.
00:15:37
Speaker
ah but Where can a guy get a hot dog around here? It was just, it was baffling. And then, as you said, his sister arrives, played by Lacey Chabert, who is Gretchen Wiener from Mean Girls. She does a lot of these films, and I genuinely don't know if she's doing it for the love of the game or... Well, no, i think it's because she doesn't get hired for anything else. She's a terrible actress. She does a lot of, well not a lot of, but she does some voiceover work as well. Like as I was telling you while I was watching it, she did the voice of Princess Elise from the ever popular Sonic 06. She's also done something in one of the Batman films. I think it was more one of the animated ones and think she was on the Harley Quinn show as well at some point. And again, the only reason I knew this is because I was scrolling through the IMDB page earlier and going, why do all these films sound like Hallmark films? Oh right, that's because they are. Jesus Christ. But you're right, no one puts in a good performance on this film, do they? No, every actor is terrible. I don't know what the hell's going on
Stereotypes in 'A Merry Scottish Christmas'
00:16:36
Speaker
with the cast of this film.
00:16:37
Speaker
I did discover, so I was looking in the kind of backgrounds of a lot of the different actors, especially the Scottish ones, to see like if they're actually Scottish. Lacey Chabert does in fact have some Scottish heritage. Really? Yeah. She didn't grow up in Scotland, but I think parents are are Scottish or something like that. You can't sit with us!
00:16:52
Speaker
On Tuesdays we wear kilts. Anyway, sorry, Mean Girls references aside, carry on. Yeah, so she has some Scottish heritage, but so much rest the cast are not from Scotland, and painfully obvious at times. Yeah, there was one character, I have to say, I genuinely was convinced they were actually Irish because their accent kept slipping. And then you informed me that not only were they indeed Scottish, but they came from the borders. And I was like, ah, right, that makes sense, because the accent blurs at that point when you get closer to the border. But Hamish, and again, the bloody name Hamish, For anyone who doesn't know, that is one of the most stereotypical Scottish names that you could have for a character. You saw the guy and he's like, hello there, my name is Hamish. And I thought, of course it f***ing is. Of course it is. The widest mouth you've ever seen. Like, he's going to consume us any given moment. Yeah, it was like something out of Attack on Titan. He just kept smiling, didn't he? To the point that it got quite creepy. He was an endearing character in-universe, but just from the outside looking in, he just creeped the hell out of me. Also, I'm reading through my notes that I was spamming you with. The correct name for that drink at the beginning was a Mac Mistletoe Mocha. Would you drink that? No, no wouldn't. that sounds awful. No, that sounds like something that would be served at the Edinburgh Christmas market. I was also kind of baffled by the layout of the airport. It's tiny, isn't it? They came out and then they were able to get a coffee immediately and there was also someone waiting to flag them down, their taxi. They didn't have their bags at that point, I don't even think. So I was like, you can't meet them at that point. I know the layout Edinburgh, but I've been through it many times. Yeah, it's definitely not that small. Whoever wrote this, I don't know if they genuinely looked at Scotland and went, oh, it's a small country, therefore the airports must be. You know every single airport in a Hallmark film that's the middle of nowhere, a small rural town in America, our airports are not like I think they think Scotland is small town. Oh, sorry, not Scotland, because one of the characters, the wife of the brother, says Squadland or something like that. I just remember I had to rewind that bit and I was like, why are you saying it weird?
00:18:55
Speaker
Like, say it with me. Scotland. Scotland, not Scotland. She's Irish, so she's an Irish person putting on American accent of how she thinks an American would say Scotland. Another thing that I picked up, I don't know if you picked up on this as well, but the backing tracks and things for this were baffling. The music choices, because there's a bit where they go into the castle and they're looking around and they're like, wow, this is amazing. And they start playing Auld Lang Syne. And it's like, did you just Google top Scottish songs worldwide and just put this in here? Because it made no sense to have it. But they had that and then they had the Loch Lomond song. as well which again both of those songs are quite again upbeat in tune but quite poignant in verses but at the same time just flinging them in anywhere just seemed again it's not the worst case i've ever seen in a film but it just seemed quite weird but did you pick up on that yeah they just threw lots of different random or like bagpipe versions of this kind of christmas
00:19:55
Speaker
melodies just kind of throughout the film throwing here or there i didn't mind it at times but there was other bits where i was like this is an odd choice and something else i picked up on honestly i'm gonna nitpick the hell out this film but there's a scene where hamish again who has been titled and i kid you not this is an actual quote in the film hamish is a highland hunk said nobody ever. And again, you know, no criticism to the real guy, but Jesus Christ, he was such a baffling character. But every so often, it would cut to him playing the bagpipes, and whoever did the audio design of this film, they did a terrible job, because there was times where I couldn't really hear the dialogue, I would turn up the volume, and then literally it would just hard cut to hamish blowing on bagpipes out of tune going and i jumped out my skin i had to turn it down again it's like you know the old 80s action films where the talking was really quiet and you turn it up and then all of a sudden there'd be explosions and gunfire it was like that they still have this issue in movies and tv today try and turn up the volume for dialogue and then the surround sound nonsense is like blares and so you have I mean, no wonder. Anyway, the reason I brought that up was because there's a scene where they get woken up by the bagpipes and it's like, oh, haha, it's so silly, he should have a snooze button.
00:21:14
Speaker
And then the brother gets a text on his phone. And something I noticed as he's not got a time on his phone. I know that is just such the most minor thing of this film. It's funny that you picked that up from that scene, whereas what I picked up from that scene is his screen cover is the Golden Gate Bridge. Rather than his wife, yeah. Rather than like but anything personal. You live in San Francisco, you must see the Golden Gate Bridge constantly. but like if you had a picture of the Wallace Monument or Edinburgh Castle or something like that, it's like, no, why would you do that? That's so odd. Yeah, that is a very, very good point. I think the only reason i was looking at the clock was because, you know how they complained and they said, why is he playing at this time in the morning, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, right, I wonder what time it is. I've only had a device that you could tell the time on. And it was just when I tried looking for the time on the phone, I was like, wait a minute, he's not got the time on this at all. Because it's obviously all filmed at different times, so probably in like 4pm or something like that. Would have said his location like double in I would not be surprised, I'm going to be honest. I also want to note that you can make a game of taking a shot any time they make fun of either bagpipes or haggis. Do you know what this film reminds me of? And this is something we were talking about earlier, but it reminds me of someone who's clearly seen tea towel from Scotland. And if you've ever been to Scotland or you've seen these in the tourist shops, you'll know what I'm talking about. But can buy these tea towels or mugs with different Scots words on it or Scottish phrases, that kind of thing, like
00:22:42
Speaker
I don't know Sleeket or Egypt I do you know those kind of things gotta know do you know do you that well that's more of Glasgow centric thing I think but do you ken yeah who is ken we might never know haha never gets old but yeah you get all these kind of things and there's nothing wrong with them per se but I feel as if there was one scene where the mum meets someone from her past that never pops up again so the whole scene was pointless and honestly it started to get offensive at some point because she turned around and said something like oh you're looking broad today which means of course oh you're looking nice etc and she goes and I'll translate this by the end of it but she goes Fuck no, your bum's out the windy, I'm purely wally now. That essentially translates to, no, you're talking rubbish, I'm very pale, I'm not looking great. It's like, why did you have to cram all of that into one sentence? I felt as if they were just speedrunning a lot of them. to make up for the lack of Scottishness elsewhere. Yeah, and I mean, there was a scene with the, what was it again? Remember? The breakfast. And it's like, we Scots believe in a hearty breakfast and everything. And they're like, oh my God, can I get some granola? And you're like, what is this? Remembering that post that's like, in my culture, dinner is very important. And it's like, oh, like anywhere, like, no, no, you don't understand. It's very important for family to sit and have a meal together. Jesus Christ.
00:24:07
Speaker
ah But yeah, it was like, it was throwing all the foods out there like, oh, we've got Arbroath Smokies, we've got, what was it again? You know, just the typical, there wasn't actually any square sausage or potato scones there, were there? Or blood sausage. Yeah, I was going to say, there was no Stornoway black pudding, which that is all I know about Stornoway, is it's got really good black pudding. pudding apparently but they didn't even have that they got Arboros Smokies though which is a really specific thing why but anyway I genuinely think this whole film is they just googled what is in Scotland and then they just put it in. The thing in Scotland like in many places around the world like in America is that there are regions that have specialisations not everywhere in Scotland just has all the Scottish things like oh here's everything like some places specialise in more seafood type stuff like an Arboros Smokie versus versus more agricultural sausages and taggis and that kind of stuff. It's so weird when they kind of combine all the things together and be like, this is the Scottish breakfast. And then they decided just to herd some shit with ponies for some reason. Which apparently are very linked to Christmas, which am I a poor Scot that doesn't know this or is that not a thing? Yeah, any Scottish Pandalorians out there, please reach out to me and let me know if you've heard of the elusive Christmas Shetland pony, because I have never heard of this before. When Martin and I, we did part of the West Highland Way a good couple of years ago, i think this was pre-Covid, but while we were doing that, there was a forum that did have some Shetland ponies there. So it's like, okay, I can understand them having Shetland ponies there. Shetland ponies aren't just limited to the Shetland ponies aren't just for Christmas. Exactly. But it's the same with Highland cows. Highland cows aren't localized to the Highlands. I mean, primarily they are, but you know, you'll see some down here and you'll go, oh, wonder what he's doing down here. But in terms of the link to Christmas, I have never heard of it. I'm going to be honest, this I have never heard of someone say, oh, it's not Christmas until you see the Shetland pony driving the Coca-Cola truck. No. Yeah. There was a couple of things in this film where they kind of brought up supposed traditions that I was not familiar with. They talked very early on about the winter Christmas solstice and how big of a deal the winter Christmas solstice is. Yeah. And I was like, I know why winter solstice is a thing, but like, do we celebrate the winter solstice really at all? It's just us on Christmas Day freaking out going, is this the winter solstice? Are we celebrating?
00:26:37
Speaker
The butterfly meme. Yeah. Is this a winter solstice? Pointing at the Shetland pony. Is this a winter solstice? Oh, this film broke me. Because, yeah, again, it's very regional. You'll get the overarching things like, oh, everyone has a Christmas tree. If you have family to spend it with, you'll have the dinner with them, that kind of thing. But not everybody knows about it because, again, I think They just googled, what did Scottish people do to celebrate Christmas before World War II? Because, honestly, was just baffling. Speaking of baffling, again, this is a minor nitpick, but I just want to point out one really weird line read again, and it was the doctor of the quote-unquote town, place, area, wherever they were. They kept that...
00:27:21
Speaker
real hidden because they didn't want to give away where in scotland this might be set because obviously then would make even even less sense because i was looking into it they do not give any that away yeah because it was really weird the way they did it because some of the signs were like oh come to the shetland cafe and it's like but you're not in shetland you're 100 in so why are you doing this to me but there was one think It was the doctor or yeah, who it was. It was the doctor. And at one point she was complaining about because the main character, Lacey Chabert's character, she is a doctor in America as well. So they kind of bonded over that and everything. And it's like, oh, right, that'll be a cool thing for them to. Oh, great. But then she says, oh, not many people are lining up to, you know, apply here because they're not putting in their resumes or something. And I was like, sorry, do you mean resumes? It was a really weird line read. We don't pronounce it that way, do we, Andrew?
00:28:19
Speaker
Well, we don't say resume for one thing. We say CV, curriculum vitae. So we don't say a resume, but Americans won't know that. So whoever wrote this probably didn't realize and so wrote resume. And maybe the person who was reading the line hadn't really come across that word before. And so read it really weird. So they start rhyming off terrible Scottish phrases, as we said. I had a big rant to you because at one point they go to a distillery, which isn't in Scotland, it's in Ireland for one, and I didn't realise that until you told me. But also they call it Scotch whisky. Again, here it's just called whisky. Scotch, as far as I know, I could be wrong because i'm not a massive whisky drinker. So Scotch is Scotch.
00:28:59
Speaker
Scottish whiskey. But there is Irish whiskey as well, just spelt differently. There's no E, whereas there is an E in Scottish whiskey. And then there's also other countries that do produce whiskey as well, like America and Canada. So that's why... scotch is specific to scottish whiskey so that's why prefer to do it that way. But again, they're an Irish whiskey distillery, so they're not drinking Scotch whiskey, they're drinking Irish whiskey. Yeah, if only there was a distillery in Scotland they could have filmed at. There aren't many, so I can understand the trouble they would have had trying to get one. Yeah, because as you know, whiskey is a very scarce product here. but They have to round up all the haggises to get the whiskey out of them, so clearly not. And for anyone who doesn't realise that is sarcasm, is. That entire scene was so random. There was a whole montage at one point where they were just showing clips of whiskey being poured and up close shots of the whiskey and that kind of thing. it was like, why are you doing this establishing shots of whiskey? This is supposed to be setting up the activities that they're doing while in Scotland to to endear themselves to this local area. And Sarah was like, have you tried the new Glenfinnit whiskey? It's new crispy taste. They're shooting a whiskey ad for some reason. Do you know what I genuinely think? I think the actors were threatening to walk off unless they had a drink in them to act the rest of the film. And they're like, right, okay, we'll just leave it in the film.
00:30:18
Speaker
and So they just buggered off to an Irish distillery and they thought, you know what? We can make this work. Because the other alternative is the fact that, once again, they got Scottish stereotype, 300 and whatever, to say, oh yeah, Scotland, whiskey, let's put a distillery shot in. Nobody will notice. And you're like, my god, I know this is a Hallmark film, but Jesus Christ, up your game here. want to talk about another trademark of it being a Hallmark film, because did you notice the ad breaks? All the time, yes, the fade-outs, yeah. completely designed so they could go like, and now an ad goes in here. And I was like, that is so weird to be watching a movie and have that kind of experience. And again, there was hundreds of them, wasn't there? Well, not hundreds. There was a lot. But also, when you watch TV in North America, they put so many more ad breaks in than in the
TV Ad Breaks: US vs UK
00:31:06
Speaker
UK. It must have been a good while ago now, but when I was in Chicago, I remember putting on the TV and it was like, oh, let's watch this. And literally five minutes later, it was like a Burger King ad or something. You're like, what the hell is going on? And I kept flipping and back and forth. It's such a weird setup for someone who grew up in the UK. For example, I'd be sitting at my mother and father-in-law's house and they'd watch like the Big Bang Theory. It would start cold open and then there would be the little intro song and then an ad would play and then the episode was proper would start and then five, six minutes later an ad would play then it would continue. Then it would be like the proper kind of middle bit where we'd have an ad in the UK and then it would go on for another little bit and the episode would end, an ad would play and then the post-quadrack credit kind of scene bit would play from the episode and then it would immediately go to the next episode. There's no ad between one episode properly ending and another starting. There's no ad there. But then again, there is an ad after you've done the intro credits. It's such a weird setup of how they do it. See, I knew they did that in America, but I'm actually really surprised that Canada does it as well. That is wild. Yeah, it's the same television networks for the most part. Ah, right. Okay. That is very depressing. so sorry to hear that. I don't have actual TV TV, like I said, I just have streaming services, so I don't really end up experiencing that except when I'm at my parents-in-laws. I've got a question for you, Andrew. See, when you celebrate Christmas with your in-laws and your wife and everything and her family, did you bring any Scottish traditions over with you? Primarily putting a metal Scotty dog into your baking, by chance. No, my partner's family has a Danish background and they do do a tradition where they hide a bit of a walnut or something inside a rice pudding type dessert. And like the person who finds the walnut then gets a prize. So there's something similar, but it was... I'd put the wee Monopoly Scotty Dog into the baked treat kind of thing. I feel like that's a much worse kind of choking hazard. It reminds me of that episode. Do remember The Simpsons where Bart eats the metal crusty-o? Like a ninja death star. Yeah, and he has to go to the hospital to get The reason I made that joke there was in the film they're baking bread because why not? I think the actors just got bored and decided let's make bread and put it in the film. And the butler's like, this is a traditional Scottish and that's the way they speak, I swear to God. And now this is a traditional Scottish practice where you bake the bread and then you put this metal Scotty dog inside of the dough. Now, in the yeah UK, for Christmas especially, we do have the tradition, I don't think many people do it anymore, but it used to be of more of an older generation that would put like a coin in a Christmas pudding. And, you know, again, whoever had it in their slice of pudding, they would get to keep it. So, a lot of broken teeth the Christmas but Scotty Dogs and especially Metal Scotty Dogs that genuinely looked like it was out of Monopoly set I'm convinced that is a Monopoly figure because if this was a Merry English Christmas which there is a film of that by the way thank god we didn't watch that but I bet you there would be a scene where the butler was like oh here we put a top hat in our bread that takes the Monopoly top hat out going on in this album. But yeah, it's a weird edition, which no surprise there. But then it gets worse because they go to a bar, Hamish appears, which already, bad sign. He calls them Boyos, which is predominantly an Irish phrase, not a Scottish phrase. And they have a ceilidh off, don't they? Which isn't a thing. You don't have a ceilidh off. Or rather, sorry, let me rephrase that, like a Highland fling-off or something? i don't know. One of them just starts doing the Highland dancing. Yeah, they decide they're going to start competitively dancing against each other, and then they involve our main character, Lindsay, in this competition for some reason. Imagine you being pulled in to a dance competition, knowing nothing about that region's dancing. Even if we weren't trying to be competitive with it would just feel so awkward. it was the same thing when Hamish pulled them all up onto the stage in the middle of the town square when they were doing a little kind of jig on a stage. That would be so dreadful. I'd be so embarrassed to be pulled up there. and Maybe that's just a me thing. Maybe I'm not as outgoing as Brad and Sarah and Lindsay and whatnot. But The thing is, though, for Highland dancing, I mean, I'm assuming you've been to Highland games before. Yes, I have. You know how sometimes they have a corner where there's like a stage and there's a dance competition, but it's always for Highland dancers. So it's usually the girls or the boys. They go up and they do their dance. And again, it's like years of training for these people. It's not like everyone works.
00:35:42
Speaker
like Jason Bourne or some kind of sleeper agent where as soon as we see Tartan or Akilt we're like must dance to Island Jig must dance it's just not a thing and I'm sorry to all the Pandalurians listening going oh what yeah I'm sorry you're not going to find like a Jiggy off as it were Then they decide that Lindsay, despite having not done any of the dancing, that she was kind of like thrown around, that she has won this competition for the year. Which I feel devalues the competition somewhat. What a Mary Sue, am I right? God, I hate.
00:36:14
Speaker
God, can you imagine? Han Solo had to train ten years before he could island you. Oh dear, but anyway, sorry. That's... Yeah, so she wins the competition and everyone's like, oh yay. She yells Scotland forever for some weird reason. Yeah, that was a kind of out of nowhere. What was that to mean? It's all Wakanda, like what's happening here? yeah he goes, Scotland forever, and she goes, Scotland forever! And I'm like, what? Did step into an episode of Outlander here or something? What?
00:36:43
Speaker
It's going on. But yeah, the brother, that was another thing, that thing you noticed as well, that the brother orders a Guinness. Oh, yeah. I questioned at the time when my wife and my sister-in-law, who watching it were watching it together, were like so baffled why I was so appalled by this decision for an order a Guinness instead of a regular pint of beer that you get in Scotland. And were like, I don't understand. had to explain. into them that Guinness is a very Irish drink from Ireland's biggest exports. So it's really weird in this Scottish movie that they make a point of him ordering a Guinness. Because it's very specific. If they wanted, don't know many Scottish beers, but let's say Tenants, for example, being a Glasgow drinker, That's where if you had that, then maybe. But initially I thought, oh, um maybe it's just because they don't want to pay for the branding or whatnot. But then it makes sense when you realise that they probably got the tax break from the Irish government. I don't know if Guinness was in on that deal as well. So it's cheaper just to say. Guinness is in the pocket of the government. Yeah, big Guinness at it again. Big stout. Big stout at it again. Exactly. It just seemed really weird because you're right, if you go to Dublin, and I would recommend that to her, by the way, it's really good, but the Guinness factory, I just don't get it. The descent into madness just kept going further and further when for some reason, and I can't remember what the brother's job was, I think he's a tax man or something, or an auditor. Yeah, he like does audits or something. Which never came up until the end. And he's like, hmm, do I go back to my soul-crushing job or do I become part of this nobility family? Become a duke and a duchess of this ancient Scottish family? And what I find hilarious is the mum's trying to sell the house and divide it up and everything so she can get the money. And then he's like, no, actually, I want to take it on now. And then she's like, all right, that's fine. Nothing comes of that. All their money troubles are gone. You know, it's like, all right, okay. I'd like to in question inheritance tax situation, because they would have to pay a fair chunk of money to acquire that castle, even if just within the family. I mean, not to get political, but the government will screw them royally for
Inheriting a Scottish Estate: Practicality?
00:38:43
Speaker
that. But it's true, though. It's like, oh, right. And again, I know it's a Hallmark film. You're supposed to turn off your brain and blah, blah, blah. But like, come on. Yeah, don't worry about the visas or anything. Don't worry about the inheritance tax. Well, okay, the visa is one thing. Brad, he can go do his tax job anywhere. He can go do his tax job in the UK. Maybe I'm wrong there. Maybe there are some credentials that he still needs to get to be able to do in the UK, or at least needs to learn UK tax laws. But a medical license is not that transferable. She's going to have to go through lots of certifications and probably some more schooling in the UK in order for her to have the credentials to be able to practice in s Scotland. and She can' of start working in this scottish clinic as a professional with only the u medical license she needs to get accredited over. I mean she is a Duchess so. She pull some strings. Yeah maybe there's a Duchess law or something that I don't know about. i mean i don't know ah yeah I mean I didn't know Christmas was banned in Scotland until I watched this film so I'm learning so much about my own country. Still is. for bri Oh exactly yeah.
00:39:44
Speaker
That's turn into a very conservative sounding talking point. like You can't say Christmas anymore. You can't say a Merry Scottish Christmas way anymore. What next? They're going to take a away our spontaneous jinx in the middle of pub. You can't say Scotland forever anymore. The walks will get here They turned the Shetland ponies against us. Did they, aye.
00:40:02
Speaker
but That's okay, Grandpa, that's right. That's right. Back in my day, we used to drink Guinness and Pups. That's nice, Grandpa. Do you know I married a Duchess? I used to shovel horse shit. That's nice, Grandpa. Go back to the home. Two hours away, apparently.
00:40:17
Speaker
but Two more things. One, at one point, Lindsay overhears the, think Lindsay that overhears it, the townsfolk talking about like oh, what's going to happen to the estate? Oh, I don't know about these Americans that are going to come in and and change things up. If you lived in a town in Scotland, you do not give a shit about what's going on at the big manor house that's around.
00:40:37
Speaker
You don't care. It's not like medieval times where it consumed the village people's kind of waking thoughts because... How would this affect the grain ratchets? Exactly. There's no serfdom now. This isn't important to them.
00:40:49
Speaker
be like if the fancy house down the street, if it was up for sale and you were like, oh, don't know how that's going to impact things now. And like yes, there are some jobs that are created from this estate. The three people that we meet in this film are employed there. There's some maids and that kind of thing. But like, they wouldn't care. That's not important. Obviously for any international Pandellorians listening you won't really know this show very much but it's a show that I talk to you about a lot, Still Game, which is very Glasgow centred and everything and it's a sitcom about these old age pensioners who are living their day-to-day lives, it's a great show, but in that they've got a character called Isa who is like the town gossip essentially, or the city gossip because it's in Glasgow but she's just like the town gossip that she goes around and she picks up on the most petty of things like seeing someone buys a loaf that's bigger than the one they usually buy so oh therefore they must be having someone over or you know like sniffing out information it's hilarious but again haven't met anybody in Scotland, especially in that generation or that type of person, you'll know they just want to know about the most mundane or just completely random things. They don't want to know about, oh, that's terrible, about old clan, blah, blah, whatever.
00:42:00
Speaker
Because, as you said, really cares unless it's very impactful. Like, oh, the whole town's going to go to the dogs because there's no economy there. But these random Americans, and I do find that kind of funny, that it's just a bunch of random Americans who found out and they're like, oh yeah, we're taking over this town. Tale as old as time. I'm sure there's a political commentary on there. And the townspeople are like, yay, Americans are here to save us. Just like in World War II. We can have our Mac Mistletoe. Mock us in peace now. Let's sing old Lang Syne around the Haggis Fire. we We're allowed to celebrate Christmas again. Now the Americans are here. They've liberated us from the dastardly English. Because that was actually thinking that i'm like it is so fun well not funny it's a terrible thing in scottish history but you know how after the jacobite rebellion there was a lot of cultural things that got repressed in scotland so they took away the gallic language they took away the tartan and everything and bagpipes as well was another one ironically enough it's just i was kind of laughing when i was watching this film thinking back to the history going can you imagine if there's like one really petty englishman being like oh and this christmas thing yeah you're okay not getting that back either just going out it's like oh you bastard there's been so many times in history that christmas was just banned like remember the 2024 No, yeah.
00:43:24
Speaker
Cromwell had banned Christmas. Oh, yeah. When was he around? Was that like the... That was the 1600s, was it not? Yeah, 1600s. As I came to a closing point in a summary for this film, this film wasn't like the usual Hallmark film. It was white. And again, I'm using it loosely to say, oh, it was offensive, but do you know what I felt less aggrieved by? See, groundskeeper Willie. Somehow that is the least offensive Scottish stereotype and can comparison to that, which we ironically enough have a whole episode on, but it felt as if he was understated in comparison. It was overtly Scottish and not in a good way, not in an authentic way, and I get it, it's a Hallmark film, it's written by Americans that don't know any better, but it felt as if they just googled what is in Scotland, what is a Scottish stereotype, and then they immediately blasted, oh, the bagpipes, the kilts, Kelly's, Guinness, for legal reasons that last one's a joke, Yeah, this was not an enjoyable experience, but what about yourself, Andrew? I have one final point as well about this film, and it's about Mac.
00:44:27
Speaker
Oh yeah, the nothing burger. Ironically enough, the Mac nothing burger. He gives me, he rubs me the wrong way. I do not get good vibes from him. He seems so nefarious, and at the end of the film he gets what he wants. He's now to be dating the Duchess, he's going to have control over that castle that he's been keeping his eyes on. I think this was his secret plan all along. It's like an episode of Dexter all over again. Yeah, I'm like that detective that's like, surprise.
00:44:51
Speaker
Yeah, dogs. I'm watching you. He's so smarmy. But he does nothing though. I find it so baffling. Usually in these types of films, the love interest is at the forefront of the story, but it feels as if he is really far back because you've got the family drama, all the secrets and everything. You've literally got a whole scene that could have been dedicated to their relationship, but they go and drink whiskey instead. Yeah, it's so bizarre how they said that. I mean clearly the point of the film was more about the sibling relationship.
00:45:25
Speaker
And then the Scottish hunk was an afterthought. They had in as an extra kind of thing of why she should stay at the end of the film so that she can, not only will she have this sort of family connection, but she'll also have this guy that she's dating. But like, I don't feel like that was necessary. Just go for the family connection then. You don't need to also then have the Scottish hunk kind of thing. Do you know, think that's quite offensive, though, that they thought that the audience was like, nah, we're not going to believe that she's just going to stay for her family, which happens in the last two minutes of this film, by the way. But she has to have a man there. Yeah, that also has to be a love connection that keeps her here, that her family sticking around isn't enough. And do you remember how long they were in Scotland for at this point? I honestly can't remember.
00:46:05
Speaker
Maybe a couple of weeks. I want to say it. I feel like, has she really connected with him to such an extent that they're now dating and that they've made that decision? Again, it's it's a Hallmark film. and They make, sometimes over a space of like a couple of days, decisions are made. They make these films on the conveyor belt so I can understand why they are the way they are. But it just, even for the Hallmark film, it seemed completely unnecessary. And I feel as if this is probably one of the worst Hallmark films I've ever seen in my life. Its biggest crime is it's boring. Yes. ahha When we watched the bad Christmas movies back in 2023 that we did the reviews for, they were just as terrible as this one is in many ways. But they had something to them. Like they were interesting. This film isn't interesting. This film does not capture you in any way. It's just boring. Like the only thing, because we have a connection to Scotland that we're able like, hey, that doesn't make sense. That doesn't add up there. Like, why are they doing that? we're making fun on those kind of things rather than the individual scenes. We've said this before in past episodes, whether it's films, games, whatever, the biggest crime that a piece of media can do is be inherently boring. And yeah, as you said, if you weren't from Scotland, then you'd be like, oh, Scottish people are quite quirky, I guess. But yeah, to have this film where a bunch of Americans do the Disney thing where they're like, I don't want to live in a fancy castle and have everything cared for me. You know, you're like, oh, Jesus, give it a rest, guys. So this is the part of the episode, before we move on to the final film, where i would be like, yeah, you check it out if you want or don't, but I don't even think you can check out this film because it literally impossible to find. We did have to go through some nefarious means to get Yeah, eBay.
00:47:49
Speaker
ah Yeah, it's just not a great film, guys, honestly. And look up the trailers, look up the clips on YouTube, see what we're talking about. And thank God that it's not readily available. And if it is available, watch it and share in the pain, because sharing is caring. And speaking of that attitude going wrong, we are of course moving on to our next film, which actually came out this year, which I was really surprised at, the film A Merry Little Xmas, which I have to say the intro for this one definitely intrigued me. So the film itself is about a woman who is at the tail end of a Hallmark film. She moves to this small town, she gives up her dreams in the big city, and she moves in with the local town doctor. But then at the very beginning, in a rather well animated scene, they talk about how the marriage drifted apart, he was never there for her or the kid, and everything, and now she is living as a single mother in this small town. She feels trapped in and everything, and now she is the handywoman of the town, and the main character, of course, played by Alicia Silverstone. But throughout the film, she sees that her ex-husband now has a new girlfriend and everything, and, you know, hijinks ensue where she says to herself, oh I don't love my ex-husband when you know where this film's gonna go by the end of it and I really hoped it wasn't gonna go this way but out of curiosity what were your first impressions of this film see when you saw the intro that was like animated everything did you have high hopes for this film don't have high hopes is the word was certainly intrigued as you said it was a very well produced animated little short that they put together to kind of explain the backstory of Kate's situation and how actually and Everett got together yeah and how she lost her opportunity in the big city to do what she wanted to do and she became a handy person around town. And so I was certainly intrigued by where they were going with this and I think it cuts pretty much immediately to the cafe where they're getting the uncoupling, doesn't it? Yeah, because they try, and I have to admit, I did laugh at that, where the couple are trying to frame is not a divorce, just but an uncoupling, and everyone's just taking the mickey out of them, going, oh, it's not, it's a mutual uncoupling. They're all laughing at that. Obviously, it's quite embarrassing for them, but they still soldier on, and yeah, you're right, it just immediately jumps into that, and it's like, wow, this is a great Christmas film. Obviously, if you're going into a film called A Merry Little Xmas, then you know what you're getting yourself into. But yeah, throughout the film, she invites her children who are now college age, college, university age, her son Gabriel and her daughter Sienna. And she also brings her boyfriend Nigel, who is a massive Harry Potter fan, which took me by surprise. And again, going back to what i was saying in the previous film there about how there's a guy called Hamish, who lives in Scotland. Like, that is a complete stereotype. They had an English guy called Nigel in this film. Yeah, what were your thoughts on Nigel? I did immediately go like, of course he's called Nigel. And when he was, like, quirk Chungus McGee immediately yelling out Harry Potter spells, i was like, oh, no. Yeah, same. I was like, oh, you're one of those nerds.
00:51:00
Speaker
but Please tell me you're into Magic the Gathering. Nope, Harry Potter. God damn it. In the big 2025, being that into Harry Potter. I just seemed a bit outdated. Obviously, there are, controversies aside, there are people still into Harry Potter and whatnot, but I don't think outside of the Harry Potter world or the Harry Potter experience down in London, I don't think I've ever met someone that's like so into Harry Potter. And especially there's one scene later on where he gets a cauldron that for some weird reason you can press a button and it activates it. And then immediately I knew where that was going. I was like, Chekhov's cauldron. Yeah, exactly. that is Exactly what I said. I was like, that's such a checkup's God. That cauldron is going to set something on fire. And i was like, I even said it out exactly. I was like, it's going to be under a tree. It's going to set a tree on fire. And then the son who wants to be a firefighter is going to put it out to prove to his mom that he can be a great firefighter. And that's exactly what happens. Lo and behold, that's exactly what happened. One of the things I'd said to my wife is that this film is very predictable. There was hardly a plot point in the film that they hadn't felt like they'd set up that I wasn't immediately kind of like, this is exactly what's going to happen, that didn't exactly happen at some point in the movie. But I didn't find that to be a negative, to be honest. I thought, despite it being as predictable as it was, it was still quite pleasant, quite enjoyable. because I mean, I have to say the performances, as awkward as some of them could be, they weren't overly bad. It wasn't like a merry Scottish Christmas, was it? No, I mean, these were proper actors that knew what they were doing. Knew what they were doing. Going back to these very Scottish accents, actually, I've actually gone. There's a background character that's sometimes around. He helps to carry the tree, and at one point he hands things to people at one point. Maybe early 20s something kind of guy. Yeah. always there in a shot and he never says any dialogue, but he's always there. And I was like, i wonder if that says the director's son or something like that. But it was like really awkward. He just won kids is always about. But yeah, sorry, getting back to this. There's not really that in this film. Everyone who is there knows the film they're in. There's a lot of kind of very cheesy type acting. There's no Oscars but being won in this film, but they know that that's the case. They're not trying to. You've got the very cute, adorable gay parents. You know, that really, in a good way, it really surprised me when they introduced those characters and how much fun they were. Except for one scene, now I will say, where they do a parody of the great British Bake Off. Oh, and one of them is Noel Fielding. Yeah. And i was like, oh, Noel Fielding's awful. Why would you choose him? It's not even that, it's the American way to do an English accent.
00:53:29
Speaker
And I feel as if America hasn't watched a British film since Mary Poppins, because whenever they do an English accent, they go, oh, right, Governor, and everything, they're like, what is that accent? It's not hard to do an English accent, even if it's supposed to be a bad one. That was a bit awkward. And he's like, oh, I can't believe... yeah I don't know why I sounded like a farmer there, but...
00:53:51
Speaker
Oh no, my combine house is here. I've got brand new gingerbread house. Yeah, as you said, that was quite awkward, but I really liked their characters. And I love the fact that they were more supportive Kate than...
00:54:05
Speaker
a character well except for nigel nigel and the gay dads they were like the trinity of support in this film for her i didn't end up making that many notes in this film i kind of decided like while watching i was like i'm kind of getting more of a vibe from him not gonna make that many notes but when i started making notes the first note i made is nigel is unbearable yes and then throughout the film he would still have lots of scenes where was like oh no nigel yeah but he started endearing himself to me He was so supportive. There's a scene where she was going to go pick out the Christmas tree, I think. Yeah. And the two kids were being completely lame wads. And we're like, no, we don't do that. We don't sit in the car. And Nigel was like, you want me to come with you? She was like, no, it's okay. And was like, good for you, Nigel. My wife was like, he gets points for that. Because she was also finding him really annoying prior to that. But she's like, oh, good job, Nigel. Five points to Gryffindor. I wish they'd done that. Well done. Thank you. Missed opportunity. wish they had. But yeah. No, there's a scene at the end where the kids are being total dicks too, Kate. And they're like, oh my god, why you want to sell the house and live your dreams? And I will get onto that because have very strong opinions on that scene. But yeah, Nigel's sitting there at breakfast being like, and again, he tries to make an awkward Harry Potter reference, but then he just brings it around. And what he's trying to say is be yourself, blah, blah, blah, you know, the kind of cheesy message and whatnot. But he just says it, as you said, in a really endearing way, to which I yelled as well, five plus the Gryffindor. was like, well done, Nigel. What a great, great guy. But the thing, that I also really hated was see the two minor love interests so her old husband's new girlfriend played by Jamila Jamil who Splintess yeah she is a good actress and she was great in The Good Place and everything but what hated about her character and quote unquote Chet Moore I will not have a bad thing said about Chet. Chet is incredible. Chet is hilarious. But what annoyed me was, you know, he was quite charismatic. He was quite endearing and everything. See, when they got the Christmas tree and I thought, oh, that's actually really sweet. And then, of course, they kind of get together variously. But then all of a sudden, as soon as he meets Everett, who is her ex-husband, he turns into a completely different character. Or does that just No, I also felt like he changed quite a lot from being the character he seemed like in the Christmas tree store to being like a surfer bro. Yeah. Well, not necessarily just a surfer bro, but like, you know, in the female Ghostbusters is Chris Hemsworth plays this receptionist and he's like a complete himbo. Yeah, uh-huh. It's just like that. He became such a himbo. He was so lovable throughout it all. He was so game for just everything. He was like, want to be in a relationship? Sure. want to be in a relationship anymore? Sure. You to be in a long-distance relationship? We can do that. No? Okay, that's fine. I'm a garbage man now. to come along, Tess? Yeah. was so much whiplash. And I think the worst scene was...
00:56:53
Speaker
and you know the scene I'm probably going to talk about here is when the Christmas tree catches fire. I don't know what you mean the worst scene. There were more things catching a blaze than just the tree there. My heart was on fire for Jet that moment. I didn't know what to think because up until that point, as you said, it was very predictable. It was like, all right, the cauldron set the tree on fire and whatnot. And then Chek comes out of nowhere and says, hey guys, look at this, and he just rips his suit off because he's an exotic dancer and a manny as well, a male nanny on the side as well, to which of course one of the characters is like, oh, course you are. It's like there's so much lore about this character on the side, but for some reason it's never brought up again. He just says it then moves on. I think he refers to himself in the third person at one moment, doesn't He said earlier that he only does that when he's Santa because he's not actually Santa. Yeah. Yeah. And then he starts referring to himself as Chet in the third person later, seemingly unironically. i genuinely don't know what to think of his character. But again, with Tess, her character was inoffensive, I would say. Yeah, she was very kind of like bumbling and awkward through lot of the scenes. Quite relatable in terms of how she reacted to a lot of the stuff. There was some of the stuff maybe she shouldn't have done as publicly as she did. Because there was a scene that I really liked where it was Chet and Everett, they were talking about why the relationship fell through, and I did like that Chet trying to console him by putting his hand on him, and he just takes his hand away as if, what? But by the end of it, you know, the bromance and it. And then there's a scene with Kate and Tess talking with one another, and I just realised Tess actually doesn't have a second name. Jesus Christ, Tess.
00:58:30
Speaker
ah But, you know, they're bonding and they're talking about the good times and the bad times, but they bring up the very salient point that the reason they broke up was because she essentially went from, oh she was going to be sustainable architect and whatnot, to this relationship falling through because her husband was more interested in the town rather than her and their kids and everything, and that is a valid excuse for a couple to separate if they're not supporting one another. But the fact that it ends so predictably that they do get together at the end, it really left a sour taste in my mouth because there's a turning point and this is the reason that I hate the ex-husband in this film. And it's the scene where they're doing the gingerbread house building competition and, you know, all the others, they're doing theirs. It's kind of like, oh, it's average. But then she builds this really intricate one and apparently this is a family tradition. This is something they always do every single year. I'm calling shenanigans on the fact was able to build that entire village in an evening. I mean, my girlfriend, she does a Christmas gingerbread house every year. And let me tell you, that practically takes the whole day. And that's with preparation the night before. Some of them are absolutely incredible and fantastic but I agree with you there is no way unless that's all pre-bought stuff there is no way she did that but that's not the most unbelievable scene surprisingly the most unbelievable scene is her taking her husband back or rather her ex-husband back After he says the words, thank you for our marriage, it will teach me to be a better husband when I go into my next one and have more kids with somebody else. Obviously, I'm paraphrasing there, but I thought, you are an absolute dick. You are the worst of the worst. You're an utter scumbag. Why would you take someone like that back? What were your thoughts on that scene? That was a pretty uncool thing for him to say to her in that point, especially considering you have be pretty obtuse not to pick up on the fact that there seemed to be some sort of rekindling happening there. So it was very, very odd thing for him to say in that moment. I think other than that scene, he represented enough and seemed to kind of show enough change and remorse for how he'd acted in their relationship to instigate a recoupling and a change. But that scene was very poor for his character. Because I feel even with Tess, she was trying to be, you know, nice and everything. And I feel as if they wrote themselves into a corner. So they were like, oh yeah, let's just make Tess suddenly neurotic after the Christmas burn. In fact, rather before the Christmas tree burning scene. And she's like, I pride myself in avoiding messy relationships and all of this rubbish. And that's when she does the big blowout and the breakup on Christmas. And that really baffles me as well. Because correct me if I'm wrong, but is it not... christmas day that she goes back to the airport or something and chet just takes her there yeah it does seem to be the case that it's christmas morning that she peaces out ah because she stays there christmas eve after the fight yeah but how's she gonna get home i mean that could be wrong but sure there are flights on christmas really though all of the trains and things would be off surely that's why there's chet well exactly yeah and he's been lorry so basically he's taking the only bin lorry two planes
01:01:47
Speaker
Sly. You Google it now. Yeah. Plains lie in America. Sure we're not. I'm calling shenanigans here. Christmas Day. Yeah, they do. Do they? Yeah. That actually surprises me. Well, i mean, there's lots of cultures that don't celebrate Christmas. I mean, true. There are some people who are flying for Christmas that can only get there on Christmas Day. Wow, I genuinely didn't know that. Okay, so that is one plot hole that has been filled. Honestly, I wasn't really that happy with the ending when the rekindle and they have this. Oh, they go to... And this sounds absolutely terrible, by the way, but there's a scene where the power cuts out for the entire
Plot Point Analysis: 'A Merry Little Xmas'
01:02:24
Speaker
time. I called that early on as well. I was like, when she mentioned about her solar power yeah thing, having loads of built up residual power, I was like, oh, there's going to be a power out and she's going only one that can host Christmas. Do you know the scene where, yeah, she's like, oh, we've got backup power, but then she says, okay, let's invite everybody in the town to our house to celebrate Christmas because they won't have power. Do you know what i just thought of there? It's, remember, there was a very similar scene in the wild robot. Oh, yeah. The only difference was there was some dark implications of that. I'm just thinking them opening the door, shaking their head and then closing it again, being like, no, they're not coming for Christmas. Oh yeah, Betty Sue didn't make it. Lying there with the cauldron her side. Bloody Nigel, the serial killer. So the son of Alicia Silverstone, he wants to be a fireman and Sienna wants to be a... Gabe is his name. Yeah, Gabe and the girl, she wants to be a... What is it again? She wants to work in his pub or something? Nigel's mum and dad's pub or something? Oh, I didn't catch that one. or some she She's studying at Oxford University and is the president of the Sustainability Initiative at Oxford University. And you're saying that she's going to work at a pub? Yeah, maybe part time. I don't know. Oh, OK. Yeah, that makes more sense if it's just part time. Yeah, just kind of through but but it's line where it's like, oh, I want to work with Nigel and everything. And, you know, by the end of it, she actually tolerates Nigel. It's like, yeah, OK, yeah. I mean, there was another scene where she nearly gets killed by a drone. Can I just say drones, as far as I know, i don't think they fly that fast. That's what my wife had said as well. She's like, i don't think drones fly that quickly. I don't feel like it's a case where you haven't dodged them like this, but I'm sure I've seen drones fly pretty quickly. No, I've seen drones fly fast before. can dive bomb you. Maybe, but I don't know. I feel as if that's Call of Duty speed. You know, it's like she activated the kill streak and she tried to get her. I was like, what is going on here? RC car. Yeah.
01:04:18
Speaker
Reviewing Home Alone 3's next week, of course. For legal reasons, that is indeed a joke. We are not going back to Home Alone anytime soon. Maybe next year we can do a Home Alone month. We should discuss Macaulay Culkin's idea for a new Home Alone film. Oh yeah, saw that as well. The house being a metaphor for his strained relationship with his children. Did you see the comments where was like, hold up, let him cook. He's on to something here. It's like, oh no. But in summary, for A Merry Little Xmas, judging by the bio and vitriol I had for the previous film, this film wasn't that bad. It had some entertaining moments. It had some genuine moments where I laughed at it. But I still wouldn't put it on the Christmas rotation. What about you though? I say this every time. I think it's an every other year kind situation where like, I don't need to watch this every year. Maybe not even every other year, but we will probably come back to this film again at some point. There was a lot of very endearing parts to it. I thought Chet was hilarious. He was genuinely very fun character. There was some very fun lines from his character and some others that I thought made this an enjoyable enough film. It was stupid. It was bad, but it wasn't a bad Christmas movie. I feel like this is the one time that this doesn't really live up to our bad Christmas episode. It doesn't feel bad enough to almost qualify for this episode. As I said, I was really surprised when they riffed on the Hallmark films at the beginning, when they basically talked about the happily ever after, the what happens after you move to this small town and everything, and that did intrigue me. And there is a lot to like about this film. Because as I said, the actors and actresses, they are very entertaining to watch. They are hilarious at times. I don't know if I would revisit this film personally. But again, going off of what you were saying, would say it's still worth checking out. See if you want something mindless in the background. Oh yeah, for sure. It's definitely like if you're putting up your Christmas decorations or something, having it on in the background is a good one for that. Yeah. It's not like a Muppets Christmas carol where you have to have the full attention on the screen to be like, no, no, the Muppets deserve our attention. All rise for the national anthem, etc. That is the British way, of course. But definitely, it's kind of one that you would put on in the
Future Bad Christmas Movie Reviews
01:06:26
Speaker
background. A Merry Scottish Christmas, though? Nah, give that a wide berth. Put that in the next flight back to California where it belongs. But yeah, honestly, I cannot believe it's taken us two years to do another episode on this. It's certainly something I think we should try and make more regular basis. We should try and do this in an annual tradition. Next time we need go to town on some really bad Christmas movies. Oh yeah, 100%. Let's just go through the Hallmark channel and be like... Catalogue. Yep, that's bad, that's bad. That'll be fun. Do know we should do sometime? We should probably do a commentary track for one of these films because I feel as if it would just be both of us laughing and crying at the same time.
01:07:02
Speaker
Just be like, why is this a thing? You can come visit me for next Christmas and then we'll do a watch along together or bring my mac missileto morca with me oh bring to
01:07:19
Speaker
drake i'll take up Better than bagpipe music, apparently. But in all seriousness, Andrew, thank you so much for joining me in this second, surprisingly, or technically third, if you include the boat the alone one, but yeah, this bad Christmas film episode. No, thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate getting a chance to come on and do another one of these and looking forward to doing some more Christmas activities. And then before we know it, Christmas be here and I'll be back in the UK. Hopefully we can find some time to hang out then. Yeah. Absolutely. I'll bring the microphones. That is not a joke. That is a threat. No, that is a joke. For legal reasons, that is a
Reflections on Past Christmas Episodes
01:07:51
Speaker
joke. But yeah, thank you all so, so much for listening to this episode. And of course, if you want to listen to more of our Christmas episodes, where in the past we have indeed talked about A Muppet's Christmas Carol, we've talked about bad Christmas films, and we've talked about a wide range of other films like Klaus and, as I said, Bone Alone. I didn't get the pleasure of that one. You say the pleasure, but I'm going to be honest, I think he dodged a bullet or a bone at that point. But yeah, definitely go check out those episodes because they are absolutely
Patreon Thanks and Upcoming Content
01:08:20
Speaker
fantastic. They're some of my favourites to re-listen to every year, so yeah, you can check them out at chatsandami.com as well as all good podcast apps. I also want to give a huge shout out to our Pandalorian patrons, Robotic Battle Toaster, Ghosty and Cryptic 1991. Thank you so, so much for supporting the show. And if you would like access to exclusive episodes, early access, bonus content, bloopers, as well as a whole host of goodies, then you can check us out at our Patreon page, patreon.com forward slash chat tsunami. As always, thank you all so, so much for listening to this episode. I cannot wait to show you the episodes that we have planned for this month, so definitely
Signing Off with Cultural Notes
01:08:58
Speaker
stay tuned. But as always, stay safe, stay awesome, and most importantly, don't confuse Ireland with Scotland. It's not right, come on. like