Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
The one where Matt picks a fight
28 Plays1 year ago
Steve is awol this week, but the gang makes up for it with tales of bicycles, aggressive attendees, and whether Chris' arch nemesis could still get the better of him.
Recommended
Transcript
Bike Commute Adventures
00:00:00
Speaker
I don't know if I've ever commuted in my life, actually. Well, I did have to ride my bike two blocks to start up when I lived. That was fun. Although it was the time I almost got hit by a car because I was biking home with a pizza in one hand and a large soda in the other hand.
00:00:21
Speaker
He just refused to get a backpack or a basket or anything? And I ran a stop sign, and a guy in a Mustang nearly hit me. But he understood after seeing what you were carrying. Yeah. The urgency of the situation. How did you stop? I said, come in for a slice, man. I think I just fell off the bike. Oh, yeah. And then just walked right into your location? Yeah. I said, hey, lock that up when you're done with it.
00:00:50
Speaker
It was right outside my heart, but it was one of these quiet neighborhood streets. Was he driving a little fast? Yeah. But was I riding with no hands and I ran a stop sign? Also, yes.
Media Consumption and Distractions
00:01:14
Speaker
No, this is an unfair question, Chris, because it makes it seem like this is a you problem when it's really like a societal problem. What makes it so hard to give your full attention to a show or whatever, the thing you're doing? What else is competing for your attention? Oh, like, you know, text messages. Do you feel like you have to answer a text message?
00:01:37
Speaker
Um, I tried to, I think if it was something that I was trying to give my full attention, like a Loki episode, then I would wait. But for the most part, um, other things don't always get my full attention. Like I want to say there were parts of the Superbowl that got my full attention. Um, like the, uh, the Usher halftime show. That was pretty good. Uh, yeah, actually that Jermaine Dupree thing, like I can't get it out. I can't get it out of my, just thinking about it all the time.
00:02:06
Speaker
I haven't heard a reason for it. So I've seen a decent amount of movies in the theater with you over the last few years and you generally don't pull your phone out. So do you think if you set up your home viewing experience to be similar, like, you know, pitch black, exit signs, stadium seating, like, do you think you would be a little more focused or?
00:02:33
Speaker
I think if I was on like a date night important, I was watching a movie at home, it would get, it would get, my phone would be away at least. So on a date night, you don't check text messages from other potential suitors? I will, I will definitely say no. Yeah, that doesn't happen.
00:02:53
Speaker
On the mic, you'll say no to that. I just want, I just want Sheila and Becky to know I do not. Oh, that's right. Well, I don't know if you, uh, I don't even remember if I cut it into the episode or not, but, uh, in the last episode, Matt, that, um, you sounded strange and, um, Chris revealed, um, he's, he's, he's somewhere along the lines with somebody.
00:03:16
Speaker
Oh, nice. If that's what you're into. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, to him. Yeah. I was like, I don't know how I'm part of this, but. Or we're all a part of this. That's. Yeah. Which, okay, Matt, it's good that you're here now. Cause. Yeah. Sorry for missing two weeks in a row,
Moving in with a Partner: Timing and Space Considerations
00:03:34
Speaker
guys. This really wasn't the plan. Well, I, I got, I got Doug's, uh, advice on when to move in with someone. Yep. Uh, head here.
00:03:45
Speaker
Well, that's the only solid advice I got. So I was going to, I mean, he's just saying this whenever, right? So, uh, yeah, if I go along with that, I feel like if it doesn't work, it's his fault. Right. It seems fair. Um, I'm okay with that, but that also doesn't sound like exactly what I said, but yeah, you said as soon as you don't feel like your life is on the line.
00:04:12
Speaker
That's closer, yeah. I think that spectrum looks the opposite to what I... I mainly leaned into the fact that what has worked well for me is the timing is a little less important than the setup itself, meaning that I don't know how people who live together don't have their own spaces.
00:04:38
Speaker
like this ability to kind of, all right, I enjoy being with you, but I also enjoy time by myself and having some sort of setup that accommodates that. Like if you're like, oh, should I move in with whoever into the studio after a year? No, after 10 years? No, 20, it doesn't matter. Like the time doesn't matter. To me, it's just like that seems like it would be a setup for failure.
00:05:03
Speaker
yeah i feel like that's uh that's that's solid for sure or what chris said i don't know i can't remember but man i remember your thing was uh you know like it's best to have both people move into uh a new place rather than someone moving with another person and doug owner and parko also that's elitist you just have that ability to do that that's true i had never thought of it that way either
00:05:32
Speaker
I forgot about that. We could just move into my summer vacation home while my winter vacation home is being renovated. Yeah.
00:05:41
Speaker
And once we sell that, we can, yeah, yes, that is true. That is very elitist. I stand by that. So Matt, assuming you were both, you're both struggling, so moving it together would actually financially help, I guess a little bit. What would you say are the stipulations? I mean, I'd still probably play the elitist card and say, sell, sell or stop. Sell your porch. You can get 70K from that.
00:06:05
Speaker
Sell or stop renting your individual places and just get one place. Hmm. What if the Leases don't line up like that.
Challenges of Lease Alignment and Solutions
00:06:14
Speaker
Then I guess it's like Check is it Is it getting in the way of the relationship that you guys can't live together until one of these leases is up? I just think like I assume that's for Chris right now. I'm
00:06:30
Speaker
Creating a new place together, I think is really helpful. Yeah, not just giving somebody a drawer. Right. Here you go. I'll put my couch in here. And I think it's especially helpful if either side of the relationship is someone who's a little more like particular picky, like that's me and Elise and I's relationship because you're not
00:06:55
Speaker
You're not putting your current way of life, like you're not challenging your current way of life because you have to kind of restart. So I think it really helps in that regard. If neither of you care at all, then the let's move into one or the other's place can work a lot better and potentially be easier lease-wise. I've broken many leases in my life and have... Many hearts. Yeah, many hearts, many leases.
00:07:26
Speaker
A lot of times you can get out of the least break season. That's true. Oh, so you were saying to make it so you're both moving into a place together, one person ends up breaking their lease early when the other person finishes.
00:07:45
Speaker
Right. Or they both have to break in at least. Okay. I mean, depends on how desperate you are to move into it together. But yeah, I think waiting till one of the leases is up or seeing if you can find someone else to take over, usually the company doesn't care at that point. You know, it just depends.
00:08:02
Speaker
If you're if you're owning your place trying to rent it out instead of selling it, it'd be easier, at least in the beginning. But it's I think especially if one partner is going to have a bit more of a challenge with changing their current way of life, starting a new places, I think is quite helpful.
Trial Cohabitation: A Cost-Saving Compatibility Test
00:08:22
Speaker
Well, I guess like, let's say breaking leases wasn't fiscally responsible. They could temporarily move in together with the idea of this is
00:08:32
Speaker
you know, temporary, and then get that forever apartment. Yeah. To me, that sounds like it costs more, but yeah, you could do that. Well, I think a lot of people, especially when they don't live on other sides of the country, uh, do have that tendency, right? Where they start to just spend more and more time at the other person's place. I mean, we never, there was years where we never saw Matt on the place that had his name on the lease.
00:08:58
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Oh, the time we live, we live with them. Yeah. Yeah. Every single time I've lived with Matt multiple times. I think I've maybe seen him in person three times. Sounds right. Yeah. I want to say that I'd go weeks without seeing them and I had class with them every day. Yeah, that's true. Wait, did Matt, did you and I ever have a class together? I hope not. Well, you don't remember, but yeah, but Doug didn't take that seriously. I mean, I didn't stay in that because I didn't know what he was saying.
00:09:28
Speaker
But yeah, we had that class together and that was, I don't know if something like that would be easier now. Yeah.
Overcoming Academic Challenges Together
00:09:36
Speaker
That's right. That's right. Oh, that's right. I meant, I meant we didn't take it seriously, not Doug, take it seriously. Well, you guys, I think I mentioned the top, you should have just stayed in because the class average was like a D minus. So it just, everybody ended up with Bs. Yeah, that would have been helpful.
00:09:55
Speaker
Like his tests were like, here's, here's four questions on a midterm. Right. There's no partial credit. It's just, all right. There's a, you forgot the, if you get all four, right. You get credit. Yeah. And the credit is worth a D minus. Like two mistakes and you failed, you failed the test. I was like, God, God.
00:10:23
Speaker
Yeah. I thought we took like, I thought we took a calc course, like math, or not the one that was like on matrices. Did we take that over the summer?
00:10:36
Speaker
Oh yeah, that sounds... Oh, you're talking about 220? Yeah. Wow, you know the... Oh, he's doing it over again. The ISBN? Oh, you're doing it over? You don't remember those names? 140, 141. That does sound vaguely familiar, yeah. What about stat? Stat 318.
00:10:56
Speaker
2-12 was fine. I think even 2-13 was fine. But the... Wait, 2-13? I remember 2-11 and 2-12. What's 2-13? I thought, whatever the electromagnetic one was, I'm just like...
00:11:09
Speaker
That was 212. Yeah. That's the one where what's his face? Just was the worst lab partner ever. Oh, yeah, we had. He was on his way out from engineering. Oh, fluid and thermal dynamics. That's why 213. Terrible. That's right. That's right. Absolutely terrible. But overall, I think Doug's point is more important than
00:11:31
Speaker
the one I made, I think having your own space no matter what. And then ideally, if you create a new space, that's pretty good. You know, in a nice neighborhood, stay out of the riffraff, other elitist comments. 401k, IRA, Roth IRA, come on. So you think if a couple was going to do a cross country RV trip, that's how they start? No, but that should be a temporary thing and they should end up coming back to a house.
00:11:59
Speaker
I mean, some people don't. I worked with a woman who lived with her husband in an RV. That's how they started living together. Yeah. You are somebody Matt knows, Chris. So could be you. Well, but I mean, I guess I would go against this definitely no.
00:12:13
Speaker
space. Yeah. To me, that's a almost immediate disaster for most people, but it's not for
Cross-Country RV Trips: Relationship Test
00:12:21
Speaker
everybody. They need to work. Well, you could do the, there's like the little dividers you can buy for the driver. So you just like, like when you're driving, you don't even know anybody else is back there. All right. That's true. But I'm assuming if you're going to sit down and work for today with any computer job while you're driving an RV. Right. Like if you both are, there should be no one driving.
00:12:41
Speaker
Oh, you could do like, um, put some like lawn chairs on the top and situate them around the, the, uh, solar panels. You can make that work. I guess that's for sure the worst option, but you can make it work. Well, I guess the worst option would be just a car. Right. Uh, bicycle and I moved in together. We are not doing well in, in,
00:13:07
Speaker
by every definition. And somehow it's costing us more. We still both own our individual places, but we thought, let's try this car first. But Matt said we had to get a new place together.
00:13:22
Speaker
Gosh, that bougie guy you guys know. Yeah. Um, have you guys done a thing together, Chris? Like a getting serious here. Here we go. Um, hats over there rubbing his hands together. Uh, no, like a trip or something where you are together, like in a hotel room or, you know, whatever in each other's space for an extended period of time. No, not yet. Oh, definitely do that first.
00:13:50
Speaker
I, I, I'm well aware of that. I mean, I've always said that's something or you're just waiting for it to happen. Well, I always thought that was my stipulation is to have, um, have one disastrous vacation under your belt, um, to see, you know, the person that they're most stressed, highest level of cortisol, all that stuff. Have you had a truly disastrous vacation with somebody? Like you, like you change your ticket and came home early. Oh, that is. Yeah. That's real bad.
00:14:18
Speaker
Oh, I guess I'm thinking more on the lines of in a hotel is not what you wanted. The toilets immediately clogged. I think that's what it is. A lot of times it's you figure out that your individual tolerances for stress are not necessarily calibrated. I guess getting robbed at gunpoint probably probably gets both people pretty well. I can't believe we both shit our pants when you shit your pants.
00:14:46
Speaker
No, no, definitely not. Yeah. What were you saying before Chris rudely interrupted you? I think I actually think that bring people closer together. So yeah, I guess we're standing over there for get over there by him. It depends on what you say. Like, Oh no, take her. Oh yeah.
00:15:07
Speaker
Um, so wait, are you, are you going to do a trip or is this, are you going to take this person to Japan? Cause that seems nothing, nothing, nothing like, nothing like that. Yeah. That's, that's so far away. You guys might be married with kids at that point, having lived together for years. Uh, for sure. Not kids. I'm a dedicated not to do that. Like surgically dedicated. There you go. Uh, it's, it's something in, in, uh, consideration on the road map.
00:15:38
Speaker
There's the like, um, have you seen the thing where you, you dip your testicles in boiling water for extended periods of time, like a Scandinavian technique, not for, uh, and that's supposed to make you be painful. It would. Yeah. Well, you're screwing them, right? Uh, I think you start to feel it all over at a certain point, just your nervous systems. Like what's happening? Yeah. Uh, and that causes all your, your, uh, your sperm to die. Just the panic.
00:16:06
Speaker
Yeah, but don't you need to kill the system that makes sperm? Like you said, there's just a bunch of dead sperm that'll just get shot out somewhere. But then the next batch will be ready to go again. Oh, yeah. No, this is a daily activity. Oh. Or you could just roll the dice, right? Just always assume God's on your side. Yeah. This is what's better for society. That's how they'll go now. All right. So if not Japan, then just like a quick...
00:16:36
Speaker
Lake Erie trip? I don't know. What's the move? Probably someplace in like upstate New York or something like that. Oh, like Christie's parents? I mean, that would definitely give a level of awkwardness that people need to deal with. Right. Yeah, there's some stress there. What about the champagne glass, Matt's champagne glass?
00:17:00
Speaker
probably looks exactly the same. No way they updated. Yeah, probably downgraded it if anything. There's no glasses anymore. It's just the stem, but you know you make it work. You don't have to. You don't have to do that. Don't worry. We're not. I don't want to peer pressure you, but but it's something like that. But yeah, no plans right now. We should go on the Saturday Chris. Do you say we? I'm going to change it to we. We should go on vacation Chris.
00:17:29
Speaker
There's a bunch of photos of Chris and Matt paragliding. I can only think of water activities for
Dreams of Extreme Water Activities
00:17:35
Speaker
some reason. What's the one where you shoot out of the water with a jet pack? Out of the water? Yeah. Hydro something? Hydroplaning? No, that's like cars. Oh, yes. It's like an accident. They're called water. Waterboarding? Come on.
00:17:55
Speaker
um water jet pack rental yeah you've never seen this look at it i see that usually people like i guess they don't get hurt real bad but it looks like they would when they lose control um i kind of want to do this now i'm looking at it oh there's jet bikes get the fuck out of here instead of having like a pack you're like jet tandem bikes this is tandem
00:18:18
Speaker
Yeah, so you and Chris on a jet tandem bike. All right, throw it in the channel. Throw it in the channel. What is this thing that you posted, Chris, a JFIF file? Yeah, I don't like the way it turned out, so... So you changed the extension? Yeah. When I opened it, it said, hey, do you want to clean your Mac? It said... Yeah.
00:18:44
Speaker
Okay, this is awesome. It's like a wasp. Wow, definitely not enough just to just to see that it's off.
00:18:53
Speaker
Yeah, without the water. What am I looking at here? Where are the wheels? I don't see pictures of it in the water, which doesn't help. Wait, maybe when you go to it? Oh, yeah. Oh, that looks unbelievably dangerous. Yeah, for sure. There's no way I'm not doing... Matt, have you ever done... I mean, I know Chris has answered. He's an affirmative yes, but have you ever done paragliding or any other extreme water activity?
00:19:22
Speaker
Like sex on a boat or whatever. Yeah, did that and then did it. Oh, wow. That's dangerous. Yeah. Is this this is your own photo you just posted? Yeah. All right. And I can't. Oh, here we go. Here's here's another one.
00:19:40
Speaker
That could be you, Chris. I mean, that looks like he's about to die. This second guy, for sure. Oh, fuck a boat. It's over. Yeah. I when I see the jet packs, they're always like shooting up out of the water, then shooting back under. And it's just like, it's so crazy. Just I did a killing wildlife. Yeah. Sucking them up.
00:20:07
Speaker
I did kiteboarding once. That is super dangerous. What about skydiving? I honestly feel like kiteboarding is more dangerous than skydiving. I'll never go kiteboarding again. But you would consider skydiving. I would skydive before I would kiteboard.
00:20:24
Speaker
Would you skydive over water behind a boat? Oh, the kite attached to me? Um, ideally no. Yeah, it's that it's that kite being attached to you. And it's so it doesn't take much wind for it to just really take you wherever you want.
00:20:44
Speaker
What's the, would you ever do like the squirrel suit thing? Um, no, that seems, well, I, I wouldn't do it because I'd be too afraid to get close enough to anything to make it worth using a squirrel suit. Basically. It would just feel like skydiving. Oh, like you wouldn't, uh, going through, run your fingers along a mountain edge. Yeah. Um, a wing suit. That's what they're called. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they, they made them famous at Transformers.
00:21:13
Speaker
That's sure, that's definitely the first time I ever saw him. Chris, this is completely unrelated, but I keep forgetting to ask this, but I do think it's important. At your lowest moment, and interpret that however you will, do you think you could have still taken down sophomore year?
Defensive Skills at Low Points
00:21:33
Speaker
No, no, no way. Could you do it now? I don't I don't think well, he's not fighting back. Yeah, and his mental game hasn't progressed since that moment. Yeah, arguably worse. Like he's been so like he's kind of just been stuck in his head ever since that happened. Oh, so he's he's not fighting back, but he's not attacking me. No, but he's not running away. Also, no, but I do need to knock him out.
00:22:03
Speaker
Uh, for the sake of the, of the premise. Yeah, I think so. Well, incapacitate him. However, you know, whatever you want to do there. And remember that the right side of that face is weak. Yeah. I think I have like, yeah, he's famously has a glass jaw. Like I feel like I could get two power punches in there. And what about just one, like both fist the same time, Superman punch.
00:22:29
Speaker
I don't know what that would do. It would be much weaker, but... It'd look cool. Yeah, the audience would love it. Yeah. Oh, he didn't want to...
00:22:47
Speaker
But you're talking about at my lowest, no. At my lowest, throwing punches was like, that wouldn't happen. Like, when you were in the hospital getting blood and **** came at you, again, barely. Like, you wouldn't have, like, wrapped the IV around his neck or anything to stop him? I don't know if I'd have the time.
00:23:10
Speaker
He's coming in real slow. I don't know if that's what I'd go for. And then I think I'd waste all my energy. Like you do like a bedpan to the face or something? God, even those weren't there. I guess there was probably like a lunch tray thing. Oh, knock them back into the vertical blinds. Yeah, I feel like I could have got a few valid swings out of those lunch trays in that state.
00:23:36
Speaker
Like if you woke up tomorrow morning to not one of your pillows, like it seems like he brought one of his own pillows, like over your face, would you be able to, are you dead or are you getting out of it? Again, he's not really holding it down very much. Like he's just kind of, he's just placed it over your face. He needed somewhere to put his own hand, so. Yeah. I mean, I don't sleep on my back, so. Yeah, he knows that.
00:24:01
Speaker
I'm pretty sure I could get out of it. Like roll away? Yeah, roll away or toss a hand up or... Well, what if you rolled away and he... No, no, not roll away. Definitely not roll away. Oh, roll towards him. I don't think any roll, and I think I would just have to move the pillow. Oh, he's got pillows on both of your hands.
00:24:21
Speaker
on my hand. Yeah. Yeah. He's a, he's like built a pillow fort on top of you effectively. And the one on your face he's holding down. So you're very, you're like, what's happening? But you're saying these pillows on my hands are stopping me from moving. No, no, no. I'm asking if they would stop you. Just kind of measure level. Oh, okay. So you, you, you could still take him. That's what you're saying.
00:24:42
Speaker
I think I could still stop that. I don't know if I could necessarily get up and get after. Uh, he's okay. So if he, if he ran at all, he's, he's gotten away with it. Yeah. So if he was like doing this every day and, but just always would run away, he's, this is just now part of your life. Right. If you rent, well, I mean, I don't know why I wouldn't lock more doors and stuff.
00:25:10
Speaker
Why would you lock out your roommate like that? Did I leave that part out? Yeah, it's going well. It's going well with the new love interest. That'd be quite the plot twist. The love interest pulls off her mask and it's...
00:25:27
Speaker
Oh, it's the long car. Oh, man. But it takes him so long to pull it off because he keeps getting stuck. Wow. That has to have been a bit a longer car. I think so. Actually, it wasn't really that long. He just he's been out of it. And then when did you meet this person six months ago? No, a long time ago.
00:25:52
Speaker
Yeah, between fourth and fifth year. Oh, I think it was in fourth and fifth grade. I was like, fuck, the longest of cons. Yeah. He's like, where's Chris going to college? I'll also go to Penn State. I didn't get it.
00:26:13
Speaker
Wait, wait, wait, wait. So fourth of your, yeah, that could have you ever seen this person and together? I think I could say that about everyone I met after college. Oh, wow. So you,
00:26:28
Speaker
Uh, you're on edge always now. That explains a lot because you do always feel like you're, uh, examining the room. Anytime we've been out to dinner or whatever, you're kind of, you're not, you're not a hundred percent there. And now knowing that you're just like, Oh, any one of these fucks could be. Yeah. That also answers the, where's your attention going question from earlier? I mean, that also means
00:26:58
Speaker
and **** and **** all fall into those possibilities. But it could only be one of them, right? Because we've seen all three of them together. Yes. You. Yeah, yeah. At the wedding. Yeah, you're right. And his **** was invited, by the way. He just never showed up. Wow. Didn't invite Jason, but you invited him. Actually, Jason also never responded. Oh. Yeah.
00:27:25
Speaker
Did invite him. Oh yeah. Weren't you, you went to Jason's wedding, right? Yeah. Is that true? I did. Yeah. Okay. Puerto. Yeah. That's right. All right. Well, now that, uh, I think that answers my question. Like, uh, you could fend off a weak ass attack even till today. Um, maybe not worse, but with that, it sounds like that pillow thing would have worked at your lowest moment. At my lowest. Yeah. Which was, I don't know. That was like 20.
00:27:53
Speaker
2012 maybe. Right when you moved from Texas? Yeah. I had a surgery and just over blood completely. It's like I couldn't move at all until they start putting the blood back in me. I assume you mean doctors, not whoever. Not anybody else. I think doctors. I mean, it's all real fuzzy.
00:28:21
Speaker
I can only go with what I think. So yeah, so that, I would have assumed a couple of months ago when you're in the hospital, he had his moment. I don't know. Because I could still move around. I was extremely out of breath. So I would have a quick burst. Like a lain down prone position. Could you still grab a throat?
00:28:47
Speaker
That's what I'm thinking. I think I could grab a throat and hit him with the headbutt. Well, the headbutt? It feels like the bedpan is the go-to. I feel like the headbutt gets a different level of intensity. It's more intimate, for sure.
00:29:05
Speaker
But like, if you're willing to injure yourself, to injure someone else, that's, you know, that's hate. Yeah. So I think that shows that like, oh, this guy is willing to use old man tricks. Do I really want to continue on with whatever this is? Has that ever come up? Have you ever headbutted somebody? Oh, wow. Unperfect. In football with helmets on. Yes. I'll say that. Illegally headbutted people in football.
00:29:34
Speaker
I mean, that's true, too. But yeah, never, never I'm putting my forehead in their nose. Right. What was the remember that that house party we were at that just erupted into a bunch of fights? Like I saw a bunch of head butts. Jesus. Oh, that's crazy. And by a bunch, I too. I mean, too, too many. Yeah. Well, and Horna was just trapped in the back.
00:30:04
Speaker
Oh yeah, because I think the keg got thrown. Yeah, it was in the hallway. It was like, picked up the keg, tossed it into a crowd of people. Yeah. Unbelievable. Just chaos. And I think it was, wasn't it started by like a ****** boy?
00:30:21
Speaker
I feel like that's the case, but I don't know why. I don't know either. But Matt, you remember all these Penn State House parties, but it was like not the easiest thing to quickly run out of. You kind of just stuck. Yeah, because the fight was at the door. Like, like if you walked in the door and in the bathroom hall, it was right to your left and everything else was to your right in front of you.
00:30:48
Speaker
So the fight kind of started in that section. So yeah, leaving was hard for a lot of people. I don't know what it was about. I don't know why some of the people were fighting. Yeah, I don't remember either. A lot of times a fight will just be, you know, those two people, especially when they're fairly big.
00:31:10
Speaker
but this was a lot of little guys started jumping jumping at each other Matt do you find a lot of people try to pick fights with you same like same deal like they see you they see your head over top of everybody's at a party and it's like only only dogs only dogs like we brought up before
00:31:26
Speaker
Dogs don't dogs don't like to see your head. Oh, yeah. Well, first off, bring it a dog to like a house party. You're setting that dog up for I mean, I got to protect myself using an animal. Oh, this is your dog. That's it. Doesn't like me.
00:31:43
Speaker
but doesn't realize it until the context around i got lost in the party and i had a couple of drinks sorry i think we had the bats in a couple house parties but never like a college that good.
00:32:02
Speaker
you know, fire hazard amount of people, but still like 20 people or so. And he's, he's upstairs. He's like, I don't, this is too much. No, people don't, people don't pick fights with me. I think I've been told I have a very trustworthy face. Has your mom said that to you? Has my mom? No, I don't. My mom, my mom hasn't. She hasn't said the opposite.
00:32:28
Speaker
She doesn't trust my older sister, but she trusts me. I would agree with that. That kind of makes sense because you've been loose and drunk a lot of times where you're sure we bump it into people. It never was escalated anyway.
00:32:52
Speaker
I just kind of looked and said, all right, she's going through something right now. In fact, we were at a ski resort in New Hampshire a couple of weeks ago and we pulled up to like a temporary parking area to like get the tickets and like go to the bathroom so that then when I get the tickets and we move the car and then we get all your crap on and you go skiing. When we pulled up and I got out of the car,
00:33:17
Speaker
the some staff member came home and she was like, what are you doing? You you can't park here. I said, Oh, well, we're just going to be big, big, big. And I said, Oh, we're just getting tickets and going to the bathroom. She's like, she's like, Oh, she's how what tickets are you getting? She started like asking me questions that I'm like, what were the skewers like? Oh, we're getting like, you know, our day passes.
00:33:44
Speaker
How many are you going to get? I'm just like, I don't even know what's going on.
Ski Resort Parking Confrontation
00:33:49
Speaker
And she's like, you're going to leave your car there, aren't you? I said, no, it's not even my car. Whose car is it? What's the guy who's driving? Well, where's he? So I was like, look, if this is a problem, we'll just move. Forget it. She's like, aha, I knew you didn't have to buy any tickets. And I knew you were lying. And I was like, this is so crazy. And it was so strange for me to
00:34:15
Speaker
go through a situation where someone didn't believe me. And I realized how uncommon that was. And yeah, I don't know, but it was pretty wild.
00:34:28
Speaker
It is always weird as an adult running into other adults who are unreasonably confrontational, like in just a normal setting. I think I've told this story before, but I guess a little sophomore year, me and this, this was over Thanksgiving. Me and this one guy went to the movie theater, the one that was over by the mall.
00:34:53
Speaker
I can't remember what that one was called, but whatever. We were over there. Yeah. And we had some stuff with us, including we'd like bought some stuff. I don't know, maybe like black Friday stuff or whatever, but I'd also bought a box of Krispy Kreme donuts. I don't know what was going on, whatever sophomore year, but I had this box of Krispy Kreme donuts. And then I realized that like, Oh,
00:35:13
Speaker
going to the movie theater, can't bring food in. So I went out of my way to put the box of Krispy Kreme donuts, just like in some bushes, like outside the, hoping that it would still be there when it came back. Just did all this stuff. Then we went in, watched the movie. It was the Colin Farrell, Alexander the Great movie.
00:35:33
Speaker
And I remember it because it is a movie I have never finished because like 45 minutes into the movie, some guy looks like an usher, but turns out to be the manager. He's like, I need to talk to you too. So he pulled us out of the theater and
00:35:50
Speaker
And he's like, uh, you guys need to get out of here. Like I know you were eating food in there. And I was like, what? And he's like, yeah, I saw you walk in and then you guys walk back out. So he'd like saw like our initial engagement because that is true. Like initially we walked in and then I realized we had the food and I went back out and he's like, so I know you brought that food in here and you were eating it. And so he's just arguing with me. I'm like, what is happening?
00:36:15
Speaker
And he just kept going and going. And eventually he's like, you know what? No, this is over. I'm calling the cops right now. I'm like, what is happening? And he did. We eventually left. And as we were leaving, the cops were showing up. I walk over around the theater. My donuts are gone. It's just the worst day ever. But I don't...
00:36:35
Speaker
Why? Why was this happening? And then the guy the guy I was with, he's like, oh, I really wanted to get out of there because, yeah, I was drinking the soda. So technically, yeah, but it still feels like it escalated way too much for, you know, just in a, you know, a normal adult scenario. Just getting swatted at the movie theater.
00:37:01
Speaker
uh yeah that's insane they would even respond to that well state college they really didn't have anything else to do so isn't it some kind of trespassing thing they can put on you yeah that's exactly right you know so how long would that person have had to keep pestering you matt before they caught the hands before they caught the hands no i'm not i'm not going to hit an old lady no matter no matter how uh
00:37:27
Speaker
Ornery, she seems to be. Really? If it's like life or death, like your life or their death. My life or their death. You have to pick one. Life or death. Yeah, it's a big one. Right. No, I'm saying that you would I assume they would catch the hands if it was to save your life or the life of your loved ones. Right. Sure. Right. More than the hands.
00:37:49
Speaker
This old lady has a wish. You'll take out all the old ladies you need to protect them as well. I'll snap next well after people are like, that's enough, that's enough. Those are pedestrians. He can never be too sure. Yeah, just your own neck. I guess it's over. Double KO.
00:38:25
Speaker
no monologue before double tap after oh yeah for sure for sure that's the worst oh yeah it gives it gives the old lady the hands and then she pops back up as they're just covered in their like um what are those like uh those foil blankets that the oh yeah ambulance gives you or whatever yeah just drinking hot cocoa rustling wow i thought she was
00:38:39
Speaker
I think one of the things I learned most is never, never give a monologue. Never sooner did.