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Episode 99: I Just Need Some Mom & Pop, Missionary Position WWE Programming
46 Plays6 years ago
This week we're talking Garrett's retirement from watching death match wrestling! We also watched and are chatting NXT, AEW, WWE, GCW in Japan, NJPW and more!
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Transcript
Celebrating Episode 99 and Global Audience
00:00:35
Speaker
Hey, everybody. Welcome to episode 99 of Predetermined, your favorite weekly pro wrestling hangout. I'm your host, Garrett Callender. And I'm your other host, Derek Halpin. Hi, Derek. Hi, Garrett. It's good to be back. 99. We're getting there. We are on the cusp of something major. That is a major milestone. It is. You know, if we were in television, we would get it. We would almost be in syndication.
00:01:05
Speaker
Almost. We would be on those channels that you don't really watch except when you're home sick in the afternoon. What, like a TBS? Sure, something like that. We're definitely- One of the lower channels. Yeah.
00:01:20
Speaker
You know what I'm talking about. I know what you're talking about. I'm glad that we get to like this milestone moment for our podcast and the compliment we pay ourselves is, hey, we would be on shitty syndication channels. Hey, there is nothing wrong with syndication money. I would take it all day long. Podcasts after a while are basically just syndicated, right? If you think about it, like when people start going through our backlog of shit,
00:01:45
Speaker
which they do every single day of our lives. And we're very appreciative of that. I am still just baffled sometimes when I look at our numbers and just start seeing like, I know we only have one, but we have a listener in Tokyo. Who are you?
00:02:02
Speaker
I want our Tokyo listener to reach out to us that unless they're really embarrassed like oh no they know who I am I'm done listening and then they just disappear but like for months I've noticed that there is like we get a download out of Tokyo who who are you who are you what's your stories and just an email predetermined podcast at gmail.com we want to know more. I had you find us. I love that you're here. I appreciate you. I would just want to say it to your face.
00:02:30
Speaker
Give some other countries some shout outs, Garrett. Who's still listening these days? Spain. Colombia. Spain? Germany. Sweden. Let's see, where else? We have some Swedish people listening to this podcast. Multiple. Oh my God.
00:02:48
Speaker
This is exciting. A lot of these different, uh, some of these listeners have been with us for awhile and we're coming up on episode
Upcoming Episode 100 in Chicago
00:02:55
Speaker
100. And you pointed out something exciting just yesterday, I believe, which is we will be recording episode 100 together. Yeah, by chance I'm going to be in Chicago and it just is going to work out to where I'll be there for episode 100.
00:03:13
Speaker
Well, I'm excited for that. I'm excited for this week's show too. Let's not, you know, save all the good stuff for next
Exciting Wrestling News and Travel Plans
00:03:19
Speaker
week. We do have some things to talk about this week, including you walking out of a movie film because of wrestling. This was a first for me.
00:03:33
Speaker
I mean, I've walked out of a lot of movies in my day, but I've never walked out because the news that I received prior to the movie was so much more exciting to me than the movie I was watching. You are one dramatic fucking cat. Thank you.
00:03:52
Speaker
from the back not a compliment I like to make a show out of everything and when I left I was like just so you all know the reason I am leaving this film did you walk up to the manager like shut the fuck up get out of this take your milk doesn't get the fuck out of my theater
00:04:14
Speaker
No, I want to go see the Guy Ritchie movie The Gentleman. I was honestly, I was pretty excited about it. And then in the parking lot right before the movie. Oh, I'm sorry, go ahead. What's the news? What's the news? What news broke? Well, I get I get a text from our buddy Luke from Hearts Like Lions, which I believe they just recently broke up. So Luke from Luke.
00:04:38
Speaker
Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. So Luke sends me a text and just says, Joey Janela wins wrestling Twitter. And I looked at this video. It is a video letting me know that it's spring break. We are getting Menorah Suzuki versus Orange Cassidy. Holy tits. That is so much fun. You just informed me that you are going to be making the trip down to Florida.
00:05:05
Speaker
Yeah, I decided to do it. I think it's good for the soul. And I miss some for the soul. I miss some wrestle friends. So I want to make that trip.
00:05:17
Speaker
I got to tell you, one thing I've gotten used to over the years is you telling me and hyping up something like you telling me I'm going to go
WrestleMania Weekend Events
00:05:27
Speaker
do this thing. It's going to be so much fun. And then me finding out like, Oh, you're doing like 13 things in like two days. And then after the fact you lament to me about how much work it was and how exhausted you are. Is that going to be happening this year during WrestleMania weekend?
00:05:44
Speaker
Well, all I can say is so far the only ticket I have is one that gets me into every single GCW show for the entire weekend. How many are they rolling out that weekend? Well, the thing that I'm looking at right now, it's looking like there's five on the first day.
00:06:02
Speaker
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Like ten on the second day. These are just, like some of these are just events though, like a podcast taping, which we're not recording a podcast, so I doubt I'll attend any of that.
00:06:20
Speaker
Because that was the only ones you care about? There's my favorite weekly pro wrestling hangout, Derek. My favorite. And only. But I will be attending another brunch. Whose brunch is it this time? Oh, I am attending Effie's big gay brunch. Are you looking forward to this more or less than the one with Nick Gage?
00:06:43
Speaker
I think Nick Gage might actually be at this brunch because I saw them post one of the people that was going to be there, which was a man named Razor Ramon, hard gay. And I think Nick Gage commented and just said, what the fuck is hard gay? To be clear, the last one was hosted by Joey Janela. It was Joey Janela's spring breakfast. Oh, yeah.
00:07:06
Speaker
And this is Effie's big moment. Yeah, Effie's big gay brunch. And I think this could be the event of the weekend. It's happening Saturday, April 4th. Please go eat some breakfast with me and Effie.
00:07:19
Speaker
If there's a Q&A, will you ask, if there's a Q&A and Nick Gage is there, will you ask him what it was like to have Effie kick light tubes into his face? It wasn't fun, I'll tell you that right now. Like he just gives a very serious response. Just speaking of that two cup stuff show, I couldn't stop thinking over the weekend about that six man match that took place where Ophidian got his balls crashed into
Criticism and Curiosity about Deathmatch Wrestling
00:07:49
Speaker
the
00:07:49
Speaker
the turnbuckle he falls to our feet you lean down and say hey you okay man i was concerned he angrily turns and through his lucha mask shouts no i'm not fucking okay and you're just like all right just checking uh
00:08:11
Speaker
I saw that Ophidian and Nick Gage are having a match soon. That's why I was thinking of Ophidian. That's why you thought of that? Okay. Well, I don't know if this is annoying for our listeners. We do frequently refer to the same two shows quite a bit. Well, we attended them together.
00:08:29
Speaker
They were we were in the front row for both and they were both life-changing experiences I'm sure it is annoying but you know, everybody's got their questions. Everybody's got their favorites Everybody's got their favorites is for damn sure and I found out Derek. I don't I found my least favorite over the weekend You found your least favorite, okay, so to set this story up
00:08:53
Speaker
I have been fighting with you over the carelessness and the questionable necessity of the pro wrestling deathmatch since we started the podcast. You, like a 12 year old boy who found a stack of penthouses in his father's closet, have been curious. You are so overly curious.
00:09:18
Speaker
and you've been diving head first into death matches for a year and a half now. A year and a half? I don't think I've been like... I feel like it's been worse probably the last year.
00:09:31
Speaker
I mean, not to keep doing what I just said we were doing, referring to the same show, our first deathmatch experience at the back of a Foreman Mills, you drug me to, like, you knew what we were getting into, I did not. So yes, I think it's fair to say you've been trying to scratch this itch for a while. Fair. Okay, continue. No, I wanna ask, like, where did
00:09:58
Speaker
I mean, you didn't get that fixed from PWG. What made you so curious?
00:10:05
Speaker
about deathmatch wrestling and bloody gruesome hardcore wrestling after years of not watching it. Like, you weren't like an ECW guy when we were growing up. No, I mean, I loved in Warzone getting to smash a TV over somebody's head. But that's a video game. That was a video game. That's different. You also liked playing as Fred Durst in Smackdown, Just Bring It. Hey, I would do that again right now, given the opportunity.
00:10:34
Speaker
Nothing wrong with that. Fred Durst, the lead singer of Limp Bizkit for our listeners who watch pro wrestling that don't know.
00:10:41
Speaker
Yep. For all of those who don't know who limp biscuit is or Fred Durst. I think that's the thing is to just always remind people who Fred Durst is. I just want you to know, as I, as I sit here recording this podcast, I am looking at a collection of WWE stickers, a limp biscuit sticker, a predetermined podcast sticker, and a two cup stuffed poster. So basically this whole show so far is in front of me.
00:11:05
Speaker
What else is on there that we should talk about? I've got a Divas drop kicks and dive sticker. I've got a sticker that says skank on it. Big League Chew collection of stickers. So yeah, we got to get back to this. Yeah, I was trying to and then you wanted to know about my sticker collection.
00:11:30
Speaker
Well, thank you, I did ask. No, it's my steering wheel. We're driving because I say we are. I was asking you, out of your sheer morbid curiosity with deathmatch wrestling, how did we get to this point where now you have to say this? I'm done for a while.
00:11:55
Speaker
What happened? No, I, you know, I went on a really good journey with this deathmatch thing. We- That's what we're calling it. It was definitely a journey. We ended up in that form in Mills, then somebody- It's more bound with Garrett instead of Michael J. Fox. Chance, please.
00:12:18
Speaker
but yeah it then somebody recommended us those Japanese death matches the older ones where there was a story being told that story was mostly usually I don't want to fall into this barbed wire and then sometimes the story was I don't want to fall in that water because it's set to explode that see I really enjoyed those death matches were thick
00:12:42
Speaker
There was a good story, there was some blood, it was, you know, a little more exciting. And then GCW came along. And they were giving me some really hardcore shit.
00:12:54
Speaker
But like, when we saw Janela in the back of that Foreman Mills, he was still doing the Japanese-style type of deathmatch, where he was like, you know, at least teasing that he didn't want to fall into these things. Right. So I had our good brother Neil over, and he wanted me to check out the ICP movie Stranglemania, which is ICP doing commentary over old deathmatches.
00:13:21
Speaker
For those listening to this pro wrestling podcast, ICP is insane clown posse, which is a... The new shtick on this podcast as we talk down to pro wrestling fans about rap rock groups that they definitely know about. Slipknot, nine guys in masks. Actually, you might know them as the people who sing the theme song to NXT.
00:13:49
Speaker
Yeah, and Triple H is apparently friends with him. Well, Corey Taylor is a big wrestling fan. I know that for sure. So Neil brings over some ICP wrestling for you. Oh, we pulled this up on YouTube and it's like it is old matches with ICP doing fake commentary over the top of it.
00:14:08
Speaker
that sounds like something i wouldn't watch it is definitely something well it you proved to me that you wouldn't watch it when it was happening live it's star cast and i said can we please go watch this and everybody said no and who and just to prove my point i knew when to walk away
00:14:31
Speaker
Just like somebody who likes to gamble, I know when it's time to get my shit and go home. You want to stay a little longer. I'm like, come on, let me let it let it ride. Let it ride one. How does Cody like that gambling reference? Come on, just one more hand. And now you're broke.
00:14:57
Speaker
Okay, okay, I'm pretty sad now. No, but second match, it was between the headhunters. Two very, very large men. The majority of the commentary through this thing was just that was the insane clown posse essentially being like, look at this fat tub of shit. Look at this fat tub of lard. Look in
00:15:20
Speaker
Honestly, it was offensive and a little bit funny, only because these guys were not...
00:15:28
Speaker
It didn't have that logic, there wasn't a good story, but they were definitely smashing panes of glass over each other. And at one point, they took a paint like a broken shard of glass, but not taking it long way like you would smash it over somebody's head if you were a psychopath. They had it turned sideways and brought it down like a hammer.
00:15:53
Speaker
Ow. Yeah, it fucked me up, Derek. I vomited in my mouth a little bit. Did you really? I did, and they ended up doing it more than once. And this guy just, this gash just kept opening in this guy's head and their brothers. Why was this happening? It was horrific. I hated it. And then I started questioning everything I've done over the last year.
00:16:20
Speaker
This is where you show up at my house at three in the morning asking me if you have a problem. And me being like, I've been telling you. Yes. Yes. So after I watched StrangleMania, I kind of decide to myself, I think I'm going to be done with deathmatch wrestling for a while. At least, at least it deserves a break.
00:16:46
Speaker
But then I had already pre-ordered these three nights of death matches out of Japan from GCW. Oh yeah. So they're already- The money's spent. They've got your money. They've got it. So I said, you know what? I'll go ahead and treat this as my swan song. I'll watch these final three and we'll call it quits.
00:17:08
Speaker
I put on Night One, Derek. And the main event was Oren Veidt versus, I don't remember the guy's name, but it was the guy who stuck the scissors in Jimmy Lloyd's throat.
00:17:21
Speaker
Yeah, at one point he just pulls out scissors, a slice an Oran Vite's face open, it's awful. Towards the end of this thing, they get out the knife board, Derek. Remember the knife board we talked about? Yeah. Well, it turns out, if you put a pile of knives...
00:17:39
Speaker
in the middle of a wrestling ring and choke slam somebody onto a pile of knives, what do you think happens? There's a lot of blood and the knives go in the body. Yeah, it turns out you get stabbed, Derek. And it turns out it hurts really bad and the knife gets stuck in your body and you roll around and it opens an enormous gaping wound that they have to come and cover with a towel so that the camera won't pick up because it's too horrific to show the audience.
00:18:11
Speaker
What did you think was going to happen? Well, why is this like where the line is? Because it was too gross. They had to stop the match. They stopped it because he couldn't continue because when he moved down, his back like kind of moved out like an accordion. Hmm. So why was scissors in the throat not too much?
00:18:37
Speaker
it was but it was that the scissors in the throat was clearly an accident and this was just a guy chokeslamming a dude onto a pile of knives blades up like i was letting gravity do the murdering yeah like exactly what was supposed to happen happened and i was for some reason surprised by it yeah i've been wondering that for a couple of years
00:19:02
Speaker
Well, here we are, Derek.
Returning to Traditional Wrestling
00:19:04
Speaker
I have finally hit the end of the road and I can tell you with certainty, all I want now is some good old mom and pop missionary position WWE wrestling. Is that why you came home today and we're like, I'm going to watch Monday Night Raw. Oh, I came home and I'm like,
00:19:22
Speaker
One, I need Jesus. Two, I need Randy Orton. And you got both. I need Randy Orton to come out here and just talk at me for a while and just let me know that everything's going to be okay. And I'm back, Derek. I'm back to WWE. And it took a man getting stabbed on live television for me to get there.
00:19:49
Speaker
I wish there was a way you could submit an apology email to Vince personally and be like, I'm sorry. I thought that I would be safe out there without you. Lowell sent me a photo of the knife board that somebody took from up close. There's meat on the knives.
00:20:08
Speaker
Oh, Derek, there's meat on the knives. I have two more. Why not? I have two more nights of this. I'm not watching it. I'm done. That's not to say I'm done with GCW, but there's a difference between a hardcore match and fucking just stabbing a guy. I don't know, man.
00:20:33
Speaker
When we were in line for our first deathmatch and we saw all of the contraptions and weapons of mass destruction that fans had assembled, that was a chance for you to turn back. And you said, no, I want to see what happens. You saw the guy who attached the pizza cutters to a board. He was handsome. No, he was not handsome.
00:21:03
Speaker
You had sheer morbid curiosity. Well, it's over and you'll never believe what I watched tonight. What did you watch? I watched live the entire episode of NXT.
AEW Storytelling Highlights
00:21:19
Speaker
Did you pick that over AEW Dynamite? Derek, this week I have finally switched over to NXT from AEW.
00:21:29
Speaker
Man, you missed some drama tonight. Well, you gotta tell me what happened because I didn't see a single second of it because I was too busy watching NXT and having a pretty good time over there.
00:21:40
Speaker
Well I can tell you for sure that there was a fantastic eight man tag match on AEW between basically the elite with the young bucks and Kenny Omega and hangman page taking on the butcher and the blade and the lucha brothers and they were doing first of all one of the things I got to say is
00:22:04
Speaker
They are doing a masterful job of storytelling with this hangman thing. Like where he's slowly drifting away from the elite and on top of that becoming an alcoholic in the process. Like it's a multilayered story. There's shades of Scott Hall and WCW. There really is but it feels like it's being done a little bit more tastefully where it's more like a coping mechanism rather than like a full fledged. I don't know.
00:22:31
Speaker
I'm not trying to downplay alcoholism. I'm just saying like it's working and I'm intrigued and you and I have gone back and forth for weeks talking about how excited we are to see this whole thing implode and it's, it's coming because I can tell you that next week SCU gets their tag title rematch against a hangman page and Kenny Omega. We also on this show got Kip Sabian versus Joey Janela.
00:22:59
Speaker
which ended up being a pretty damn good match. And there were a lot of good spots back and forth here, but, um, obviously the big thing we got to talk about out of this, uh, he W dynamite tonight, the segment with Cody receiving 10 lashes. Yes. What happened there? It was so well done.
00:23:21
Speaker
It was extremely well done. There was drama. I mean, and I think this whole thing started at like 845. So in my mind, I was like, man, how are they going to make this whole thing last 15 minutes?
00:23:38
Speaker
like basically longer than many matches and they fucking killed it, man. Like they, the whole thing started with Cody taking off his shirt and then MJF getting in his face and saying, you know what? My belt's too good to be used for whipping somebody. You give me your belt. And he made Cody take off his own belt and hand it to him.
00:24:03
Speaker
Garrett, I know that you brought up the good point about would we be desensitized to this after seeing the Daniel Bryan fiend match from the Royal Rumble a couple of weeks ago. No.
00:24:16
Speaker
No, it was real belt on flesh. Nothing fake about it. Hard hitting contact. There were welts and MJF kept hitting Cody like in the same general area and was drawing blood.
00:24:32
Speaker
Did he hit him more than 10 times? He hit him 10 times but they drug it out like he would hit him and then he would make him wait and then Cody would recover and by like the third or fourth one he was on his knees and one by one they would have so they had like part of the roster come out on the ramp to watch
00:24:53
Speaker
And then they would have like, like, um, Arne Anderson came out and then Dustin Rhodes came out. Like after each like thing, cause you know, they're trying to talk Cody either out of doing this and Arne's case or Dustin came out and offered to take the other half of the whippings forum, which they didn't let happen. Obviously.
00:25:15
Speaker
Then the Yumbucks came out and like he's getting all of like this moral support. They drug it out and it was extremely well done. And the drama, I mean, you know that they're going to get through it because obviously there's the cage match scheduled for a couple of weeks from now.
00:25:32
Speaker
I commend them for putting together a wrestling segment that was old, like out of Dusty Rhodes' playbook to a tee where there was drama, there was emotion, and it ended with like Brandy coming out right before the end.
00:25:48
Speaker
and he takes the 10 lashes and then the MJF's reaction to him taking the 10 lashes was not joy it was like he was pissed and scared because he realized that since Cody went through it went through with the the fucking whatever stipulation
00:26:10
Speaker
Now he has to get his ass beat. Yeah. And so after he takes the 10 lashes like MJF's on the ropes like concerned everyone's in the ring comforting Cody and then Cody runs or MJF runs up really quick while Cody's recovering and kicks him square in the dick and then he and Wardlow bail out of the ring and run up through the crowd running away from everybody. You got me really excited when they were you said Dustin was offering to take the remainder of the lashes.
00:26:39
Speaker
Yeah, I was hoping that MJF would say no and then Arn Anderson's like, okay, well now's my chance to seem like a good guy too. Okay, I'll just I'll take the lashes and if MJF had just like, okay.
00:26:53
Speaker
So now we should totally go back and watch this. Like it was, I think, um, I've got some stuff to say about AEW a little bit later. You'll find out what that is. But, uh, I'm excited for revolution, man. Uh, they had a Moxley take on Ortiz and after Moxley won
00:27:13
Speaker
Uh, they had a Santana come down and Moxley took the car keys from that car that Jericho bought for him. Stabbed him in the fucking eye. Stabbed him in the fucking eye. An eye for an eye. So next week it's Moxley versus Santana. How much longer we gotta watch Moxley in an eye patch?
00:27:33
Speaker
probably all the way up until revolution. God, I... And I hope what happens is that he rips it off and says he wasn't even injured the whole time. And that he was just doing it to prove that he could beat up their entire crew with one eye. But continued that bit over to New Japan where he had to fight Minoru Suzuki wearing an eyepatch. Yes. God, he's had a lot of travel this last couple days then. Yeah, damn right he has.
00:28:03
Speaker
Anyways, good episode of AEW Dynamite. Like I said, I'm excited for Revolution here in just a couple weeks. I'm excited to see you. What did I miss over on the
NXT Highlights and Entertaining Matches
00:28:11
Speaker
other channel? I didn't watch a second of NXT, yet I know that they're doing some good shit over there. Yeah, the main thing was Charlotte was coming to show up at the end of the episode to say whether or not she was going to take on Rhea Ripley at WrestleMania.
00:28:26
Speaker
And then Bianca Belair came out, they had a scuffle and basically we had no answer. So Charlotte showed up for no reason. She had to get on an airplane and fly to Orlando to not let us know if that match is gonna happen. But at the very least they're dragging out the drama and she may be there next week or the week after or something. I'm very excited, I hope that does happen. But tonight, a match that really caught me off guard, Jordan Devlin is the cruiserweight champ over there now.
00:28:56
Speaker
And he had a match against Tyler Breeze. I forgot that Tyler Breeze is really good. Yeah, you forget that when you get called up to the main, the quote unquote main roster, and then they just use you for silly gimmicks and don't let you wrestle. Well, remember they used to have him be like the guy that would put people over in a really good takeover match?
00:29:20
Speaker
yes and there was even a time that i think it one of the brook or maybe take over brooklyn he took on jush and thunder liger and that was a big deal correct turns out he's still pretty good he didn't lose his wrestling talent no he'd still put on like i don't know how long this match went it had to have been at least 20 minutes it was a good long wrestling match he didn't win but
00:29:47
Speaker
Good for him for having a good competitive match on television. Did anything end up happening with Keith Lee or anything on this episode? Let's see. I don't think Keith Lee was in this one, but they continued the story with the broser weight.
00:30:07
Speaker
The Broserweight? No, the Broserweight. Oh, yes. Because they're a tag team now. They came out in the Broserweight mobile, which is a golf cart with the Dusty Rhodes trophy on top of it. And Matt Riddle is like, he came out in a suit and tie, no shoes, just really dancing Pete Dunne dead serious. But they're best friends now, and they're going to go on and win the tag titles. Do you think that's going to happen?
00:30:37
Speaker
Maybe. Why? It would make sense if they continued them on to let them do something other than just win that trophy, right? I guess. I mean, they could be getting main roster call. This is the weird thing. Is it a main roster issue anymore? Is that even what you want to call it or are they just the third brand and that's not a thing we talk about? Yeah, I don't even know if people get called up anymore. They have how that works. They have to though, right?
00:31:09
Speaker
But between Tyler Breeze and Finn Balor going there, it just seems like it's a brand. It seems like there's more people that could be going back there. That's true. I don't know if that's where everybody's going to start. I just saw that Killer Cross and Timothy Thatcher both just signed.
00:31:24
Speaker
Correct. I wanted to bring that up. How did you feel about that news? Good for both of them. I'm excited for Thatcher because him and Walter were a team for a long time. So I assume they'll either be fighting each other or he'll join Imperium. So what got you to tune into NXT this week as opposed to AEW?
00:31:41
Speaker
I tuned in over the weekend after I was really sad from the death matches. I'm glad sad is the emotion that you felt. Yeah. And I was telling Leah about what I saw and she said, maybe you don't get to watch those anymore. And I said, I think that might be for the best.
00:32:02
Speaker
So it was a family decision. Yeah, we had a meeting about it. We had an intervention. It's like, yeah, you want you went in the bedroom and watched a man get stabbed. So you need to knock it the fuck off. The police and the FBI are going to knock on our door soon for the things that you're putting through our Internet. It feels like I'm watching the dark web, but it's just on fight TV.
00:32:29
Speaker
Like, I should also be able to buy heroin from that website if I'm gonna watch a guy get stabbed. You probably can. Yes, it's definitely- It's a discussion board. Maybe somebody on there will hook you up. Because no one is policing what's happening on Fight TV. But no, I put on last week's NXT and towards the beginning of the episode, Shotzi Blackheart came out in a little army tank.
00:32:56
Speaker
And I realized, what the fuck are you doing, Garrett? This is the show you want to watch. There's Shotzi Blackheart in a little army tank. They basically took all of the Progress guys, all the PWG guys, threw them on the one show, and it's perfect. It's so good. Why would I ignore that?
00:33:17
Speaker
Are you not impressed with AEW right now? What's going on? It's not to say that I'm not impressed, but, you know, Dark Order isn't on NXT.
00:33:29
Speaker
Is that really, come on, that's an exaggeration. You don't feel that strongly about it. No, I don't feel that strongly. There are definitely a lot of segments that I love on AEW, but it seems like right now NXT just has so many more guys. They have almost all my favorite people right now, plus just such a killer women's roster. And they are basically making the exact wrestling show that I would like to watch, and I realize I'm not watching it, or had not been.
00:34:00
Speaker
Did you feel, do you feel like when you took your break from WWE for very legitimate reasons that you just lumped NXT into that punishment? I think that they were getting punished unjustly. I think this is as good a time as any to bring back our reoccurring segment called say something nice and the drizzling shits. Yes. Garrett.
00:34:23
Speaker
You know how the rules work. This is your week to say something positive, and for me, to say something that I think is the drizzling shits. What sucks is I gave away my positive thing already. Well, you shouldn't have done that, because you knew the segment was coming. I did, but I got so excited to talk about Shotzi Blackheart's army tank.
00:34:43
Speaker
We'll talk about it some more and talk about this. I don't know, give me something positive. That should be like, at one point Beth Phoenix even said, she goes, oh my God, my kids are going to ask me for one of those. And between like Matt Riddle and Pete Dunne have the broser weight mobile, and now Shotzi Blackheart has a little toy army tank. I like this. I like wrestlers coming out in vehicles. Hey. Is it fucking NXT Power Wheels edition? Yes, and I want to get the whole set.
00:35:12
Speaker
Put them in a happy meal if you have to. Welcome back that WWE car destruction game that they had. But not just NXT in general as might say something nice. They I realized they've just been making the exact wrestling show that I'd like to watch. I've been ignoring it and I'm sorry. I'm back. I'm gonna pay more attention.
00:35:34
Speaker
So that's your, say something nice. Which really mostly goes to Shotzi Blackheart's army tank though. How excited are you to have her in Encino? I'm very excited. I'm excited that Ruby riots back as well. Exactly. If we're talking about people with green hair. I will say that that was a good pick on your part because that segues nicely into what I'm about to say. Oh man.
00:36:00
Speaker
This may piss some people off, this may ruffle some feathers, but I'm here to tell you how I feel. The Drizzling Shits! The Drizzling Shits this week is the AEW Women's Division.
AEW Women's Division Critique
00:36:14
Speaker
I have a question to ask everybody. I have heard numerous people say that AEW is not handling their women's division well.
00:36:26
Speaker
Let me propose an alternate theory for you. Maybe the AEW Women's Division just isn't that great. And I say this, having watched a match between Britt Baker and, fuck, I'm gonna botch the name.
00:36:50
Speaker
She was at double or nothing, I can't think of her name, I'm giving up on it. But the match, here's what I think the deal is Garrett. I think all of us got so used to the quality of women's wrestling that WWE provided us for years, that that is just the norm.
00:37:12
Speaker
And we just come to expect that. I don't really feel like I've seen a ton of good women's matches. They've been given time slots on TNT. They've been given opportunities. And I'm sure there's several people in that division that are good. But maybe the division isn't all it's cracked up to be.
00:37:31
Speaker
Oh, I think you're a hundred percent right. And I think a lot of people agree with this, but wasn't a big part of this division that Cody, not Cody, that Kenny Omega and Brandy were running it. Maybe, but I mean, I'm just calling a spade a spade. I'm saying.
00:37:50
Speaker
I think you hit it on the head early which is you don't think Britt Baker's as good as I will say I like Chris Stadtlander. She's a great thing. She's probably my favorite of theirs and I do think Rio is good but.
00:38:05
Speaker
I just don't think it stacks up to the quality of the women's roster in WWE. And I just think that's the reality. You can argue about how many more women's segments they should add to the show. I don't know if you did that, if it would actually make the show better, it would make the show more diverse. But I don't think there's a lot of, I don't know. Maybe that's just me. But I think that that roster gets exposed the more you throw them out there.
00:38:36
Speaker
And there's still people I like like awesome Kong and but she can't wrestle. That's that's the rumor is that she can't really wrestle. She just cut hair and do squash matches. She's essentially out there to be Jack Swagger. Oh, sorry, Jake Hager. Can I tell you something? When I was home last, it turned out I didn't get rid of that Jack Swagger shirt. I still have it. You still have it. Yeah, it turns turns out I just somehow left it back in Pittsfield.
00:39:06
Speaker
So, um, for those of you who don't know, this was something that I just found out in the last week or so, actually. You're coming to Chicago this coming weekend. Correct. That has been decided weather permitting. Do you have your Jack Swagger shirt with you? I wish, but no. You didn't bring it?
00:39:30
Speaker
That would have been an awesome thing for you to wear to AEW revolution.
00:39:38
Speaker
Do we finally get to see his first match at that, maybe? That's my other question. When the fuck is he gonna... I mean, on one hand, I do appreciate them saving certain things so that it's special down the road when a new thing comes up that's been built for a while. On the other hand, I've seen him wrestle before, so unless he's completely changed how he wrestles, my mind probably won't be that blown.
00:40:09
Speaker
Am I being too hard on AEW? No, I think they need to hear this. I mean, again, I'm not saying it's bad. Obviously I'm tuning in every week. I look forward to it every week. I'm choosing it over NXT and I'm going to continue choosing it knowing that I can just get the recap from you if you're watching NXT and we can help each other.
00:40:32
Speaker
I don't know. Again, I went off on them a couple weeks ago for production issues, and now I gotta ask the question that a lot of other people have been asking, which is, their women's division needs improvement, and I don't think it's just TV time. I think that there are some serious issues there with consistency. Look at the men's side of things. There are consistent faces that show up on there every week. Right now, it's basically Britt Baker.
00:40:59
Speaker
Well, wasn't a big part of it that like whoever wasn't Rio not around. She had to choose on the show tonight. She got attacked by Nyla Rose backstage as like as a like Pac challenged Kenny Omega to a match and they're going to do a 30 minute Iron Man match on TV. Pac and Kenny Omega. That's going to be really fun. Yeah, right. Tune over to
00:41:27
Speaker
TNT. Um, but the Pac made it seem like he was holding night, uh, uh, uh, Rio hostage backstage and he was going to like do something to her and then Kenny immediately agreed to the match. And then he was like, Oh, I wasn't going to do anything, but she will. And then Nyla Rose attacked Rio from behind and tried to put her through a table, but Rio so light that she didn't break the table. She just landed on it.
00:41:54
Speaker
Sorry, I'm thinking, so after I watched the knife thing I called Dustin, my buddy Dustin, and I was watching on NXT, it was last week's episode, Champa ends up putting Adam Cole through a table, but Champa somehow cuts the top of his head and blood's dripping down all over the belt in the table and I was just like, I'm happy something nice is on now.
The Impact of Wrestling Moves
00:42:23
Speaker
In your mind, that was extremely tame. I was just like, this is, it's nice to just have some family friendly entertainment back on TV. This is like the death match detox episode. Yeah. You're going to not hear me talk about them for a little while after this. So I, I just got to go on record and saying they're still going to cut the stuff we did see is going to keep coming back up. Oh yeah.
00:42:46
Speaker
You're not taking that from us. You had me watch some of the recent New Japan shit. Yeah, I thought there was some pretty good stuff on this most recent couple shows, but I think we both watched the same two matches.
00:43:03
Speaker
We did and I completely I do have a point I want to bring up and I have a debate I want to have with you a little wrestling philosophy if you will. I watched Zack Sabre Jr. and Will Osprey fight each other. What for the U.S. was it was the British championship. Yeah the British heavyweight championship and it's the rev pro belt.
00:43:28
Speaker
Right, and as expected, fucking fantastic match. Again, I will say this about every time I see Zack Sabre Jr., his fucking 10-year-old boy thighs creep me the fuck out. I can't believe that somebody with that base
00:43:57
Speaker
with that fucking Legging is a professional wrestler. It's it's an oddity and nobody's talking about it. Nobody's saying anything. I'm saying it like Zack Sabre Jr. is a fantastic wrestler. I would go as far as saying that
00:44:17
Speaker
He's probably a tough guy. Is that fair to say? I mean, he hits what appears to be harder than most people and I never understand how or why. Okay. We'll get to that here in a minute.
00:44:31
Speaker
But it's hard to watch because I feel like we have a situation on our hands where there are a lot of muscular, well-defined men in professional wrestling. And Will Ospreay, despite not being a taller fellow, is a put together dude. And Zack Sabre Jr. just wraps those lanky limbs around him like a fucking octopus and stretches him every which way.
00:44:59
Speaker
And it's a little unsettling, Garrett. That's all I'm trying to say. I like when Will Osprey tries to do a high flying move and gets caught in a pretzel thing. Yep. And a pretzel thing. It is just, it is. It looks like he's flying through the air and somebody just threw an octopus in the air at him and it's just tangling its body around him. Yep. And he just says, oh no. All right. Let me.
00:45:23
Speaker
So here's what I want to bring up to you and then we'll move on to the other match from New Japan here. I want to ask this question because I was watching this match with somebody and I said it's interesting to me that in New Japan, one of the distinct differences between them and WWE is that in New Japan, when they strike somebody, they do the elbow.
00:45:45
Speaker
They don't do the fist. They don't do the punch. What they do is the fucking elbow and it's like a hard hitting fucking elbow. And yet it's a work shot. You know what I mean? The same as the fist. My question is why does the elbow feel more dangerous despite us both knowing that it's still a work, but the fist feels in WWE at least like it doesn't have the same kind of impact.
00:46:15
Speaker
Well, is a closed fist supposed to be against the rules? Yeah, but people throw punches all the time. Maybe they should. I've never understood that, and you were correct for bringing that up. They do say that, but I don't know the difference, I guess.
00:46:31
Speaker
Like you'll see him like slap him in the face and the motion of a punch. But I don't know. There is something. No, there are straight punches though. I don't know. I'm just thinking about that elbow now. I'm motioning my elbow and it just, that looks, it feels really gratifying. Like I want to hit somebody with my elbow. My question is, does it feel more dangerous and does it feel more exciting because it's different and we're just so used to the punch?
00:47:02
Speaker
I don't know, that was always something at PWG that drew me to Chris Hero. I loved his elbows. Was the elbows, yeah. Yeah, and always they're able to make such a good sound with it. It just looks more devastating.
00:47:18
Speaker
Does it? Or is it because it's different? I don't know. I feel like it just it seems like there would be more force coming with it and it almost feels like it would hit harder but now you've got me questioning and I think that might not be true. Well I watched matches from both WWE today because I went back and watched some stuff from Raw and I watched the stuff from New Japan and I just thought it was an interesting dichotomy.
00:47:42
Speaker
Because there's a tendency when you watch WWE, especially when you would go back and watch stuff in the Attitude Era and you think, holy fuck, a lot of these matches are just them throwing punches back and forth. And you'll still see guys throw punches. I mean, never mind the fact WWE is way more athletic and exciting today, as far as in-ring product than the Attitude Era ever was. But even now, when you see a guy throw a punch, you're kinda like, okay, they're throwing punches to get to the next spot.
00:48:12
Speaker
And then you watch New Japan and there's a whole spot of guys trading elbows back and forth for like three minutes. And then you watch GCW and a guy gets thrown onto a pile of knives and I'm just sitting over here saying I will suck somebody's dick if I can just see a headlock. Just one headlock.
00:48:35
Speaker
But yeah, it is something to think about. I would love to get some feedback from some of our listeners out there about how they feel about the differences between the elbows to the head and the punches. Because for whatever reason, it struck me really hard today. I was like, huh, that one feels sexier and scarier and this one feels stale. I mean, it works. I mean, I guess it depends on the quality of the punches that are being thrown too. Sometimes people throw punches better than others.
00:49:04
Speaker
Hey, it has to be the quality of the elbow. The Judas Effect is not quite there yet, still. I think the Judas Effect isn't bad. I think it feels pretty realistic. Just because there isn't a loud fucking slap your thigh pop with the elbow. The thing is, if you have the option to do a loud slap your thigh pop with the elbow, take it. Take it. Look like a badass.
00:49:28
Speaker
I don't know. Maybe in my gut I still opt for the punch. But I want to hear from our listeners. Something to chew on. Something to think about. Garrett, you also have me watch Okada and Jon Moxley vs. Taichi and Minoru Suzuki. Sorry. Yeah, I never really thought I would get to see Moxley and Okada tagged together. Was it surreal? It was a weird thing to look at.
00:49:58
Speaker
especially because it's Okada and Moxley with an eye patch. I'm just going to bring that up. Does it kind of spoil the moment for you a little bit? Well, I wish he could have been fighting at 100%, but and also not having to fuck with an eye patch for the entire match. Yeah. It's funny every time I watch him wrestle with that eye patch on, I think if that and the bandage underneath of it come completely off, how do you fake having an eye injury until the end of the match now?
00:50:28
Speaker
Do you just close it? What do you do? He almost got to that point during the match. I feel like it happens every match. I'm just, I hope by revolution we have it off and we're okay. I'm telling you, it wasn't real. He's fine. He faked it for purposes of fucking with Jericho. If he flew to Japan knowing that he was going to fight Minoru Suzuki with an iPad, John, just to prove that he's tough.
00:50:59
Speaker
That's pretty awesome. That's pretty cool. Were you surprised that Minoru Suzuki picked up the W in this match? I was surprised that they had either of them be involved in the pen. I figured it was going to be Tai Chi or, you know, like switch over where one of them pens the other. But no, like seeing Suzuki pen Moxley definitely piqued my interest and got me really excited for, um, for their match, what, in like a week or two?
00:51:28
Speaker
in two days because that's when New Japan paper views just pop up. I really did miss New Japan though now that I'm getting kind of going back and watching some stuff.
00:51:40
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like I went down a deep, dark hole and now I'm coming back out. I'm seeing the light. I see the happy wrestling that I always enjoyed and I'm ready to get back
WWE Character Highlights
00:51:52
Speaker
at it, Derek. You feel like you're in your pro wrestling safe space? Yeah, I'm back. I'm back. I'm safe. I got saved from the hole of deathmatch wrestling. What were your takeaways from Monday Night Raw this week since you came running back to Vince McMahon?
00:52:13
Speaker
with arms wide open. Shit, what did happen on Raw? I just remember, really the main thing I remember walking away with was Ruby Riot being back. Ruby Riot came back, which was nice. She had, like, what, both shoulders injured?
00:52:30
Speaker
Yeah I saw her at that bizarro lucha show she had the mask on and was just in the crowd watching the show with her injured body. Oh I know that they did a really good. They really did a good job this week of making Kevin Owens like a full fledged baby face and that's what I meant to ask you. Is that weird for you to watch.
00:52:53
Speaker
I actually enjoyed that. Are we talking about the AOP match where he fought all those guys by himself and looked like a huge badass? I was thinking the whole time how much fun you must have been having. I was having a fucking blast. I'm sad. I don't know what the story is with Samoa Joe right now.
00:53:11
Speaker
Like last week he left the match and they said it was because of an injury but I didn't know if the injury was real or if it was a work. There were rumors that it was concussion. Then there was rumors a few days ago that he failed like a wellness test. And now I don't know what's going on. But I was enjoying the pairing of Samoa Joe and Kevin Owens but now
00:53:35
Speaker
like he did they like a couple weeks in a row they've had him fight against like multiple people at once and he lost both times but both times they made him look like a fucking underdog tough baby face and after him being booked as a heel for so long it's pretty fucking refreshing on my end to see because now the fans are on my side again
00:54:01
Speaker
Yeah, I feel good about it. Honestly, I feel good about WWE in general. I mean, Dalton or Jeffy wrestling text me a sentence and just said, Ricochet is fighting Brock Lesnar in Saudi Arabia. How's that for a sentence? It's true, though. Absolutely true.
00:54:25
Speaker
He's not gonna win. Can we just fast forward to that part of the story? Well, yeah, he's gonna lose in, because what, that's just a couple weeks before WrestleMania. I think it's coming up sooner than that, or unless I've just lost track of time. Is WrestleMania the end of March? It's the first week of May, or of April, I'm sorry. Okay, I was gonna say it. I don't know, I'm trying to decide. I did get an NXT ticket.
00:54:53
Speaker
So I will be doing it to your show now. Yeah, that's my that's my number one brand. Should I do mania?
00:55:06
Speaker
like I. You're already out there. I'm that's kind of what I'm thinking. I'm already there. You know it's a decently priced ticket and you know nothing else is going on that night. Well that was when I got that NXT ticket I just got it over the weekend. They still had $50 nosebleeds available. Yeah Garrett if if I were you like what do you what's what's the drawback.
00:55:30
Speaker
It's true, there's no energy like going to a WrestleMania, even a shitty WrestleMania. There's still just that many people watching wrestling in one room, and you don't get to do that very often. It's true. There could be some good stuff there this year too.
00:55:45
Speaker
If we end up with Rhea Ripley versus Charlotte Flair, I'm going to be very, very excited. Would it be pretty historic for Charlotte to win the Royal Rumble and then challenge the NXT Women's Champion? Because that's obviously never happened before. I mean, yeah, would be. I mean, I didn't even consider that as a possibility when she won the Royal Rumble.
00:56:10
Speaker
I mean, at this point they have to go through with that, right? They didn't fly her down to Orlando for her to just say no. I mean, the only thing I can think of is if they try to drag multiple women into a match like they did last year. Well, and right now that's kind of, they've got the thing between Bianca Belair saying she's going to be re-riply at TakeOver Portland, which I guess is a week from Sunday.
00:56:37
Speaker
man. Here's the thing. There isn't a whole lot I'm excited about over on smackdown.
Excitement for Upcoming Wrestling and XFL Events
00:56:48
Speaker
Oh, Garrett, did you see who's going to be on smackdown this week? No.
00:56:54
Speaker
Goldberg. Oh no. Goldberg. How excited are you? I am a minus 10 in the excitement. You think he's going to dethrone the, uh, the fiend? Well, you know, the Saudi Arabia, Saudi Arabia show is coming up, so we're going to find out who Goldberg is going to face. There's rumors he'll get a rematch against Undertaker and they'll actually try to wrestle.
00:57:21
Speaker
I've heard rumors that it could be Goldberg versus Baron Corbin, which I wouldn't hate to see Baron Corbin get squashed in 10 seconds. The way I've seen so many of my heroes suffer at the same fate. No, we need we need taker versus Goldberg too. I need a sequel. Oh my God that I would watch that match again.
00:57:47
Speaker
Let's talk about something we're both excited about that's pro wrestling related. Garrett, you know what starts up this weekend? It's this weekend. It's this fucking weekend. What day does it start? Saturday. Oh my God. Yeah. For those who aren't in the know, Fred Durst is the lead singer of Limp Bizkit. And the XFL is back.
00:58:17
Speaker
and Garrett and my roommate Chris and myself. We're going to try so very hard to get into the XFL despite none of us giving a shit about football. He means into the league. I think we're on the teams now. We are players now we got hired. That's I just had to misspeak.
00:58:41
Speaker
No, that's all that happened. We're gonna do our damnedest to end up on one of these. I can't wait to have a favorite player, Derek. You and I are going through the similar feelings, man. I'm excited for that first touchdown. I'm excited to celebrate and try to care.
00:59:03
Speaker
Well I went to the Seattle that I've decided that my team is the Seattle Dragons. Chicago did not wind up with an XFL team this time. Not sure why but that's fine. I could have picked a lot of teams. I'm going for the Seattle Dragons because I think they have. Let's be clear all of the team names and logos are pretty lame.
00:59:29
Speaker
They're all pretty fucking lame. It's just varying degrees of disappointment. I don't think that's fair to say. I'm sorry, Garrett, but the verdict is in. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. They were going for... No, no, no, no. This is a set of names that they were clearly going for a very specific vibe, which is not super impressive, but they're not trying to be too flashy. Vipers.
01:00:01
Speaker
Roughnecks wildcats because yeah, you haven't heard wildcats as a team name ever. Oh, so before. Oh, I'm sorry. Go keep continue. I was gonna say like like you and I are going to give this a go.
01:00:18
Speaker
And I hope the listeners choose a team with us and go on this journey because, you know, one season of the XFL is better than no seasons of the XFL. And let's take advantage of it while we have it. And I do want to let our listeners know I had looked into the possibility of creating a predetermined XFL fantasy league. If you want to get in on that.
Cultural Highlights: Movies and Wrestling Shows
01:00:43
Speaker
You know how to hit us up. This is where we plug our social media and our email. But before we do that, holy shit, remember last week how I watched that teaser for the Fast and Furious 9 trailer? You got your actual trailer this week? The actual trailer came out and it is so fucking cool, Derek. I can't. Oh, you went ahead and watched it? Oh, I watched the real one.
01:01:08
Speaker
I thought you were gonna watch it on the episode this week. It's a good thing I didn't. It's too long and you would have just heard the sound of me shouting and coming. Derek John Cena is Vin Diesel's brother. Also, a fan favorite character that was killed by Jason Statham is back for some reason. And it's awesome. He's back from the dead. Don't know how, don't know why, don't give a fuck. He's back. Han is back. Justice for Han Solo.
01:01:38
Speaker
Oh, lovely. I'm glad you're happy. I'm glad that you appreciate this franchise. Well, somebody's got to. Are you excited to get John Cena? Well, I think he's really a guy that, you know, his acting is just as good as everybody else in The Fast and Furious, and he's not gonna ruffle any feathers. But he doesn't get to share the screen with The Rock. He will never get to share the screen with The Rock, no.
01:02:06
Speaker
Bummer, dude. Well, it's okay. We've got the Hobbs and Shaw series now, and I'll get exactly what I want from over there. I will say, from what I hear, that CM Punk horror movie that he did, Girl on the Second Floor, whatever it is, that's coming to Netflix soon, and I'm kind of excited to watch it, because I've heard it was good. No, I would watch it. The trailer intrigued me. I'll see what Phil does, acting wise.
01:02:32
Speaker
Maybe if that's on Netflix by the time you get here, we could do a watch along for that. I'm just excited that we're going to get to go to a freelance show together. It's the most tickets they've ever sold. Freelance Wrestling is doing a show this Friday night at Logan Square Auditorium. The show's called Send in the Clowns. Kylie Rae is defending the freelance championship against Robert Anthony.
01:02:57
Speaker
With Frank the Clown. With Frank the fucking Clown. I'm excited, we're getting some pretty good people on this show. I mean, I saw that Effie's on there, War Horse, Tony Deppin, Project Monix. I'm so excited to get to yell at Ricky Shane Page, tell him he's an asshole. Laney Luck? Yeah.
01:03:16
Speaker
Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. They are doing record numbers for ticket sales. I guess the, the, uh, they are on pace to completely sell out was what I read tonight. They said that if they don't sell out, they're going to cut off ticket sales tomorrow night at midnight. Well, I'm excited to go to this and then also very excited to be able to record episode 100 with you. And I'm sure we'll have something special planned out for that.
01:03:42
Speaker
For sure, for sure.
Social Media and Listener Engagement
01:03:45
Speaker
Well, Garrett wrap this thing up, give them our social media, get them out of here, let them relax and hopefully they'll take a break from death match wrestling too. Yeah, we're all gonna take a break guys. Let's just sit down and like I said, watch some old missionary position lady on her back, WWE. That's now what WWE is, missionary position.
01:04:06
Speaker
And it feels great. It feels just as good. There is still some excitement. But now, give us a follow on social media. We're at WrestleHangout on Twitter and Facebook, at Predetermined Podcast on Instagram. I am at Gartet on social media. Derek is at Halloween Halpin. He just got an Instagram. And, yes! I'm on Instagram now with the same name, at Halloween Halpin. This is gonna take a while to get used to.
01:04:34
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know how to Instagram, so be prepared for some weird shit. I'm excited for that. So yeah, give him a follow. And yeah, hey, thanks for coming. Thanks for hanging out. Thanks for coming. Thanks for coming. Thanks for coming. The drizzling shit. The drizzling shit. But yes, tune back in next week, episode 100. Derek and I will be in the same room, so it'll be even better than usual.
01:05:04
Speaker
for show. Hit our goddamn music.