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Florida, Fasting, and Feral Thoughts
43 Plays5 days ago
Ali touches down in Florida and immediately regrets it. From chaotic airplane Karens to exploiting Ramadan travel loopholes, this episode spirals into everything: hotel carpets, queerness in public, forgetting who you hooked up with, and why some of us are just here for bidets and good vibes. Khalil and Ali unpack it all—sun, sin, and seasonal depression included.
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Transcript
Islamic Fasting Rules and Modern Travel
00:00:07
Speaker
So are you fasting today? I'm not fasting, but only because um there's this like rule, I don't know if you know about it, that if you're traveling, you have to If the travel duration is two to three days, you're allowed to not fast.
00:00:23
Speaker
But the thing that's so ridiculous about that is that that rule came out during the time when people were literally like taking horses and camels in the desert over multiple days to get to like certain destinations where like they would literally die if they fasted.
00:00:39
Speaker
But for some reason, we still apply that to airplanes. Like it's actual in like the zeitgeist of Islam that if you're flying on an airplane and it's two to three days travel, you don't have to fast.
00:00:53
Speaker
It also makes sense from a time zone perspective, like you're kind of constantly jumping anyway. So like what is sunrise to sunset becomes a little arbitrary at that point, right? Right. But again, like traveling is not the biggest feat, you know, like now the airport is air conditioned.
Cultural Observations in Florida
00:01:10
Speaker
I'm sitting on a plane. How you determine the length of time? Do you eat where based on where you came from or where you're going?
00:01:18
Speaker
That's a good question. I'm not sure. That's the problem is. But see, the thing is, like I'm flying in the same time zone.
00:01:25
Speaker
like to clear The other thing is, then why don't you just choose to fast? You could just fast. Exactly, I could. but I'm using the loophole that, oh, I'm traveling. But only because it's very inconvenient to fast now when I'm in Florida. I'm in Florida.
00:01:39
Speaker
Sunny, sunny Florida. Yeah, it sucks, by the way. This is the first time I've been to Florida. And you hate it? Okay, look, i need so I don't hate it. it's just It's okay to hate like Florida.
00:01:50
Speaker
As soon as I land landed in West Palm Beach, immediately I was like, oh this is not New York. This is white people central. like I was surprised.
00:02:03
Speaker
I thought like it's literally the same type of white person here, like a middle-aged Karen person. Reptilian. Yeah, middle class, upper middle class, and very much like entitled.
00:02:17
Speaker
And I don't know, like walking around here, I'm like, this feels like American core where it's like cheap aesthetic, but made to look expensive. You know what i mean? Yeah.
00:02:28
Speaker
Yeah. I'm like, I'm not liking this, but west like obviously like vacationing is fun.
Social Media vs. Reality
00:02:34
Speaker
The fact that I'm in the sun, i was in a speedo yesterday and I was like, nature is so jealous yeah that was so nice that was so fucking nice i hate winter but yeah how have you been how's life i don't remember anything ever like um i was saying you earlier like i met i had to like give guy keys to my friend's apartment who apparently i i mean i checked my phone and then we had talked two years ago and then i literally met him in real life and i'm like
00:03:06
Speaker
I don't know you. Like, I know i I know I know you somehow, but like, I can't remember. But the thing is, i was looking at his Instagram and um he wasn't as cute in person. So I'm thinking like when we did meet up, I don't think we hooked up because I'm like, I don't think I would hook up with this man.
00:03:24
Speaker
Wow. you You can't even remember whether or not you hooked up with this person. Well, I went over to his apartment. and I know that for sure. Okay. So you you knew his apartment. Yeah. No, I didn't know his apartment. I know this based on our old text messages. I was reading what we were saying to each other. So i was like, oh, it's kind of like, it's kind of fun but i remembering what you did because it's like, you there's some clues and he knows, but he didn't really say, and I don't think it went well, so...
00:03:52
Speaker
oh
00:03:54
Speaker
you like He was polite, but you could tell he was like very eager to, like I don't know, maybe he was just eager to go into the apartment. I don't know. But like he didn't really care to see me again is the whole point. So you totally don't remember him, but watch him fully remember you and you have been a big pivotal moment in his life.
00:04:15
Speaker
ah Maybe. Maybe. but know doesn't know where I live, so not my problem. Good, good, good. Let's keep it that way.
Podcast Introduction & Florida Focus
00:04:23
Speaker
but yeah um I'm going to do the intro.
00:04:26
Speaker
So, hi guys. Welcome to the Olive People. Hello, I'm Ali. And you know already know who I am. Yeah.
00:04:38
Speaker
We're not going to talk about our original topic, Ali. Oh no, we're not? No, I feel like let's just make this about you being in Florida. Oh, I'm so down. Very down. um Yesterday i landed.
00:04:51
Speaker
First of all, there was a Karen sitting next to me on the plane, which is like the best intro to Florida. Immediately, like I'm not even kidding, Khalil. Before the plane even took off, she starts yelling. And I have my headphones on and immediately I have my iMask on. Oh my God. that I'm ready to pass out.
00:05:09
Speaker
I'm ready to pass out. I had literally have the... This would be me ideally on a plane. If I could actually like... Wait...
Podcast Listening Habits
00:05:17
Speaker
I literally, do I have it next to me? No, it's that's back there. But I'm the same way.
00:05:25
Speaker
If I could just live life like this, honestly, just like no one keeps this lit. For our listeners, Khalil has put on his lovely pink eye mask and is smoking a blunt. There's no reason to not watch this on YouTube, though.
00:05:37
Speaker
I feel like I... i mean, no, there is. There is. It's okay. Listeners, we love you. It's okay. It's because I'm a listener to podcasts, so I listen went ah in transit. In the background?
00:05:48
Speaker
Like, yeah, if I'm working in transit, whatever. yeah Yeah. Yeah. You're you're valid. You're teased valid. um But I was going to say, so this Karen next to me immediately started screaming and I couldn't hear at first what she was saying because I was listening to music.
Critiquing White Supremacy
00:06:02
Speaker
But then I was curious. So kind of like did this. I pushed one ear earbud out of my ear and she was yelling because the guy behind her, his feet, because he was a tall guy, his feet reached into the space just into her seat space.
00:06:19
Speaker
oh Do you know what I mean? She put her heels back. She could touch his toes. Yes. But he was wearing shoes. But also she could just fuck like who puts their legs that far back? Just put them, lean them forward a bit. And she had her feet forward, but it was the principle.
00:06:34
Speaker
She was so pissed that this person was in her space. And he literally was like, I'm trying to accommodate you, but I can't miss. Like I'm a really tall guy. And even the flight attendant was like, he's tall. Like he's literally just, his feet are just under your seat. Like it's fine. It's not the end of the world.
00:06:52
Speaker
And she literally was like yelling like fully. And I was like, Wow. I've like immediately Karen, like immediately Karen. Okay. People will call me a miserable person for like speaking about things, but that's, I think people get it confused. That's a miserable person who is like having a cry for help.
00:07:12
Speaker
Yeah. Me dragging on chads and brads on Twitter is comedy slash right I have a beef against white supremacy, which is normal.
00:07:23
Speaker
Right. I think that's valid and healthy. I think if you're... it's actually It's actually not even... Moreover, is it valid and healthy? It should be encouraged.
00:07:34
Speaker
Right. I agree. I agree with that. I think more people need to be put in their place. And if I was a white middle-aged woman, I would go out of my way to break the stigma of middle-aged white women.
00:07:48
Speaker
Why are you... Like if you... Wait, wait. If you had that tantrum on the plane... you would be kicked off. A hundred percent. And that people don't understand, like, a white person doing something, okay, yeah, maybe it's just that person doing something, but white supremacy is more just about, like, than just a white person. It's just, like, how things go.
00:08:06
Speaker
So it's, like, Sometimes the virtue of being white it just makes in a whole experience different. And that in and of itself is enough to be talked about versus talking about somebody who's like legs are too long.
00:08:19
Speaker
It's looking stupid. And clearly you you're actually miserable and you should touch grass. I just don't like people tell people tell people to touch grass when they're upset about like things they should be upset about. And I think it's crazy.
00:08:32
Speaker
Yeah, it should be when it's like you're literally taking it to 100 when there's not a problem. like There's not a problem. That's when it's like you got to calm down. like There's literally nothing wrong. You're fine, baby. Just relax.
American Hotel Aesthetics and Hygiene
00:08:44
Speaker
And then I landed in Florida and immediately there's this aesthetic... to American hotels as well. I guess you might it might be the same in Canada where it's like immediately cheap carpet. That's the first thing I notice.
00:08:58
Speaker
Like walking into a hotel, like the place where all the rooms are, there's a distinct carpet that all American hotels have that immediately I'm like, this feels like I'm in a seedy motel, but it's like the Hilton.
00:09:12
Speaker
It's not, you know, and I'm like, why is it like this? Why is there so little effort? and presentation. And we think that America is like the greatest place ever, but it sucks.
00:09:24
Speaker
Like you've lived to hotels in other countries. Can you compare like Hilton? For example, if you were to go to a Hilton in Thailand versus a Hilton in America, the one in Thailand is going to be stunning.
00:09:36
Speaker
To be honest, I'm just thinking there was one time when I was in... I was did it like a tour in Jordan. it's like It was like Petra, Akabe, and... Dead Sea.
00:09:51
Speaker
We did the Dead Sea separately. ah like Just by ourselves. But um we stayed in a hotel that was supposedly five stars, and I remember it. I remember i remember this thinking like this hotel is garbage.
00:10:03
Speaker
ah But... I think I don't really ever stay in fancy places. So it's like I'm staying at like a best Western. And like you're describing to me like that.
00:10:14
Speaker
Like like i I kind of understand what you're saying. They're all the same. But I don't I don't have a familiarity with it. Got you. Got you. I guess for me, it's just like I find hotels in general to be gross.
00:10:28
Speaker
Like, okay do I don't feel comfortable. I don't feel comfortable. I feel like I sleep best in hotels because I, like, crank up the AC. It's like i icebox. I like the pillows. I like the bedding.
00:10:39
Speaker
Because I think normally i don't really live. It is an upgrade for my lifestyle, which I think says a lot about... Both of us. I think you're living in a hotel for you is a downgrade versus for me, it's an upgrade.
00:10:52
Speaker
No, but if you think about it, how many people have slept on that bed? And I guarantee that they did not clean those sheets properly. Like they probably just like recycle them over and over again. the the towels, the towels, the fact that I'm wiping my body with a towel that probably touched the ball sack of a middle aged man before me.
00:11:13
Speaker
Just, ew, like, I can't. i I don't know. I feel like life is dirty. Like, I don't know. I'm not a germaphobe like you, so, like, that stuff doesn't, like, it doesn't faze me. Oh, my God. And also, like, no bidet.
00:11:25
Speaker
I don't know if you, do you? Oh, have a bidet. As soon as you get a bidet installed, you will take hate taking a shit when there's no bidet. It no really sucks. Yeah, I have to use, like, my douche bulb as, like, my bidet.
00:11:38
Speaker
Ooh, I hate that. That's disgusting. I'm a no fucking way am I touching my like poopy ass with just toilet paper. I refuse. I need that cleaned off. I need to be able to just like wipe and nothing.
00:11:53
Speaker
Otherwise, i will. It will ruin. yeah I can talk about shit, but okay. We will subject our listeners to that. I'm literally, I might bleep out those words because of how like grossed out I felt like with that sentence.
00:12:08
Speaker
was like, I would turn this podcast off now. like Okay. I'm like, I want to stop talking to you. i want to end the conversation. Okay, so that a poop is off limits. Got it. kind of Got it. Got it. Learning new things.
00:12:21
Speaker
ah Well, it's just time. I don't know. I think when it's, for me, when it's too graphic, I'm like, ugh. Okay. Okay. Got it. But
Online Persona vs. Private Life
00:12:31
Speaker
think indirectly referencing is like cuter.
00:12:33
Speaker
Keep it. I want, I want our fans to know the truth. I want them to know that. I think they'll figure it out. Yeah, that's true. That's, I think there'll be a, have to be a couple of bleeps in there for me. Okay. Okay. I won't cut it out, but that's fair.
00:12:45
Speaker
Um, what else about Fuller though? So uh, the reason why I'm here is because my partner is doing a conference and he's been here all week. So I just joined for the weekend. Um,
00:12:56
Speaker
And yeah, honestly, i love, i should do this more. I think if I'm living in cold places, i need to start traveling to warm places during the winter. People, it's called being a snowbird.
00:13:09
Speaker
If you do it like for the whole winter, people will like snowbird. So they'll go somewhere during the winter where it's like hot and then come back to wherever they live for the summer. Because it totally makes sense.
00:13:19
Speaker
Because it's probably unbearable here. Isn't it? It's crazy when the sun is out and it's warm, how much happier you are. And you realize how many of your problems weren't actually real. Like you were just miserable from...
00:13:32
Speaker
Winter? Seasonal depression. Which I mean, living in Toronto, I experience. And I mean, I will try to like go to Mexico or something. But you know for working people, we have limited time off. yeah violence It's not easy. But you are as easy. You're going Colombia.
00:13:51
Speaker
I'm going to Colombia. I don't want to, I feel like I'm kind of paranoid. I'm not going to say when or where. Because you bitches will never know my next move. I like also one thing I never post in real time. Like I'm very like Kim K about my life. Like I was saying to you earlier, there's a clip of, um, pal is she Palestinian? I don't know. She's Middle Eastern Canadian artist, nemesis. I think she is Palestinian. Well, she is Palestinian. She is. She's Palestinian.
00:14:20
Speaker
Palestinian artist Nemesis was talking to Saint-Lavant's no comment on the latter, but Nemesis was like, oh, i I'm someone who like you think is spilling a lot of information about myself, but I'm actually really private. And I was like, T, cause I'm a blabbermouth and I feel like people, I give the impression that like people think they know everything that's going on, but I think it's like much more like conducted in my head.
00:14:50
Speaker
Yeah. No, I can see that. I mean, like, I'm trying to think back to my first interactions with you on social media. It's like ordered chaos. Yeah, I think I got a sense of who you were, but it's definitely not like I definitely knew a whole different side of you just by talking to you. So yeah, you don't you definitely wait, actually, can you dive into this more? I'm curious.
00:15:10
Speaker
I guess when I, like, just looking at live social media, you don't, like, you curate, like, a vibe, like, you look, like, grungy, Palestinian-Canadian core where you're, like, out in the snow a lot, you're always cold, you're wearing, like, all these, like...
00:15:27
Speaker
I'm trying to think about the pictures that you post on Instagram. And then there was one where I don't know if you want to cut this part out, but the one where you posted about your dad's, it was his birthday. i think that was the first like, where I was like, Oh my god, I want to talk to this person and like, just know how they're doing.
00:15:45
Speaker
But I think that was you again, like intentionally sharing something that you probably already processed a long time ago. ago You know, so yeah like it's exactly like what you're saying, like you were sharing, ah you were allowing people to look at this part of you that wasn't it really something you were going through in the moment.
00:16:03
Speaker
Is that true? Do you think? Yeah, I mean, I just feel like I haven't, I haven't really, like I like, I'm just curious to see what was like different online, because I feel like all the things you were saying is like what I give in person.
00:16:16
Speaker
No, I think in person, i realize you're somebody who like, I would never have guessed that you're as upfront. Based on my Instagram, you're not paying attention to my, you weren't paying enough attention.
00:16:29
Speaker
Because I was... Your stories. your stories. Yeah, your stories. Yeah, where you're like, yeah, fuck Zionists or whatever, blah, blah. Fuck Zionists, fuck Quebecois. Who else do have beef with on my Instagram stories?
00:16:41
Speaker
White people. Like, I've... It's crazy the amount of people who will get mad at you when you talk shit about white people. It's actually so weird. Thankfully, that hasn't happened to me. i feel like if I hate on white people and somebody, like, says something, that just means you're a white supremacist.
00:16:56
Speaker
No, literally, but, like, ah because, like, I guess I have more of a following... on social media apps with like randos sometimes that like some rando will like be in there for a different reason and then maybe usually because it's like they think i'm hot and then they like see that i hate on white people too much and then it like um right right right wait i know you say you hate zionists but you live in canada babe I was stuck here.
00:17:22
Speaker
yeah i was raised here. That's not my that's fair fault. What's your excuse? I actually have no excuse. My excuse was that I thought the Middle East, I was going to kill myself if I was ah gay and Arab.
00:17:34
Speaker
But now I'm like, oh, i should have just
Going Viral and Online Backlash
00:17:37
Speaker
stayed. but now that it have been You could have been the first Ibrahim before he was Ibrahim. If you had a hustle mindset.
00:17:45
Speaker
I don't want that. I don't want that. Honestly, honestly, I'm like, ah he's good queer representation for us. No, but he gets so much hate. I don't want that. and and You don't?
00:17:58
Speaker
I mean, I would, but I'm not, I'm not, I'm not in the spotlight. Like, I'm not. I get hate all the time. I'm not in the spotlight. I feel like because I'm not in the spotlight, I'm able to like coast under, undercover.
00:18:12
Speaker
Yeah. But here I feel like, okay, here's the thing. In America. You don't want to be under the spotlight. You just want money. I just want money. Exactly. I feel like here I am a shark in the sense that like being a gay man just means you're a man. Oh no. You know what's going to happen? I'm going to predict something right now. Say it.
00:18:33
Speaker
If any, if any, we go viral on this podcast, inshallah. I think you'll be really terrified. I think it'll be really scary for you. I think so. You're going to have to hold my hand a lot. Like I will be scared.
00:18:45
Speaker
I know. But the thing is, you're not like I'm like, if you ask me to pull the plug, I'm probably going to say no. but so Because I will say that this a similar situation happened to me where my family was just my family. Nothing was going viral, but my family got a hold of something ah about me talking. I was gay before I was like out to everybody. hmm.
00:19:04
Speaker
And they were like commenting things. They were being so weird about it. So fucking weird about it. Because one thing my family loves to do is make fake fake accounts and do weird shit from it. Like cousins, uncles, like they're fucking losers.
00:19:17
Speaker
So on you my friend's podcast, they're like making all these weird comments. And I'm like, they're talking to me about it Like, hey, your family's hating on you, blah, blah, blah. And then at the time, I wasn't like, I didn't feel ready to come out, whatever.
00:19:29
Speaker
and I was like asking them i was like, can we please take this down? Blah, blah, blah. And they're like, this is what we're gonna do. We're not gonna take it down. Like we put effort and equity, like work into this. Like this is something that you agreed to do.
00:19:41
Speaker
And also like, we're not trying to hurt you. Like these, what these people are doing is just bullying you. And like, you shouldn't give into bullying because like what you did wasn't wrong. And honestly, i was like, that is tea.
00:19:55
Speaker
Yeah, but in all fairness, also, there I think you had another level of stress, which were you still living at home at the time? No, I wasn't. ah okay. Because I was going to say, like, I do feel like I have... I'm fully financially independent. But if I was living at home, I'd be fucking so stupid to go on a podcast to be like, I'm gay. oh Right. Like, that's that's... It kind of is like it's a little bit like you...
00:20:21
Speaker
Of course, bad things shouldn't happen to people, but like you kind of have to know what you're getting into. And I feel like when you post something online, you have to just like... Also, it's like, honestly, like and it's like... Everything blows over in like two seconds, too.
00:20:34
Speaker
That's very true. The internet has a goldfish memory. But I will say, it like even when I started my Instagram account, that Feeding Seahorses, and my DJ career and whatever, and doing all that, a lot of people still tell me, they're like Kylie, be careful. you know if you keep doing like Eventually someone's going to find this account who you don't want them to find it. and then it will have of it It will happen.
00:20:57
Speaker
And you know what? A part of me is like, I'm trying to curate a space for me where I feel happy and comfortable. but seen And seen. Part of it is feeling seen. Like you don't want to just feel happy and comfortable always in a basement. Like that doesn't feel good. Like part of life is like being acknowledged because it's like we don't exist in a vacuum. So if I'm doing something and no one's around, part of me is like i didn't really do anything.
00:21:24
Speaker
Right. So like we all want to be seen. That's the whole point of life. And like a couple of my friends in the Middle East especially are kind of perplexed by the fact that I insist on keeping my Instagram account public.
00:21:35
Speaker
And maybe that'll change down the line. But the fact that ah but to me, that's like almost like a I don't want to like make it more than what it is, but it's like a protest or I'm like, no, this is who I am. Like, I'm not trying to hide it at this point.
00:21:49
Speaker
Like, I don't see a need to. That's why my Instagram is public. No, but my Instagram public is is for the same reason. Because it's like, I'm showing you that I'm not hiding it. I'm like i'm standing on business. What I post out there, I understand that anyone can see it. Anyone find And I'm more than happy to like answer for it. right My stories sometimes...
00:22:09
Speaker
But those I know, those like disappear. And sometimes I will delete a story when i'm like, okay, I went crazy with that. But posts and like stuff like that, it's very much like it's a message.
00:22:20
Speaker
It's existence is resistance. Absolutely. Like that cliche quote. I agree. Yeah. And yeah, I don't know. I feel like we got to live our lives how we want to and deal with it.
00:22:35
Speaker
Yeah, professionalism is a tricky one. Yeah. But like... It is what it is. um It is what it is. And I just... I personally feel like perhaps like, okay, let's say if... Because like i this has happened to someone on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.
00:22:50
Speaker
if you i know you don't watch The Real Housewives. For people who do, there's one of the housewives, Whitney. Her husband got fired for filming a scene with her on the show, like a sexy scene where they were like, and don't know, slapping each other and mud they were like mud wrestling or doing something sexy, softcore porn stuff.
00:23:07
Speaker
And then he got let go, blah, blah, blah. But then eventually, like the thing is, I don't believe there you can get canceled in any industry. Like in Canada, they fucking brought a Nazi and he got a standing ovation. Like,
00:23:20
Speaker
That's just to say, like, you can literally be a part of like something that is everyone agrees on. This was a genocide. And these people were like, not good. You could have been a part of that military force. And 50 years later, you will be receiving a standing ovation in a country's parliament. Right. So that is just to say, like, just because, you know, I'm not, you know, what i it sucks get fired, blah, blah, blah. But like blackballing someone is very hard. and Yeah, it'll... it'll Like, i know I know some people that got fired because of, like, everything that happened during October 7th, like, posting about it and stuff.
00:23:53
Speaker
And they find jobs. Like, you're right. Like, even in, yeah like, fields that you'd think otherwise, but... Because because my my doxing wasn't that bad, and I talked to someone else whose doxing was worse because they were saying more crazy, unhinged shit when they were, like, 15, 16.
00:24:07
Speaker
They were doxed before October 7th when it was, like, kind of harder to get doxed because they were saying... stuff I wouldn't say publicly. um And I literally talked to with the doxing and they're like, it's honestly fine.
00:24:20
Speaker
They're like, trust me, like, I'm perfectly fine. Like, don't worry about it. And I was like, honestly, true. um to love Because it is it's it is kind of nice in a way where it's like a number one, it's a badge of honor. Number two, it's like a filter. And it's like part of the reason why our accounts are public is to out ourselves.
00:24:35
Speaker
So it's like you already know everything about me and who I am. And if you don't fuck with that, then like you have the opportunity to like not do that. Because part of work is also compatibility. like Yes, you need money. And like yes, there's like there is a need to survive.
00:24:49
Speaker
But also, I'm past that. i'm like i'm I'm a smart, sexy individual. I don't need to survive. like I'm trying to thrive. So if... like this financial relationship isn't um like if it's like completely dragging me down and I feel fucking miserable, like I will walk away because I'd rather go flip burgers or deliver Uber Eats where no one's going to bother me.
00:25:11
Speaker
Absolutely. Absolutely. I 100% agree. um Yeah, I wanted to bring it back to Ramadan. Like the first thing you mentioned, are you gonna fast this year?
Personal Challenges of Ramadan
00:25:22
Speaker
Do you fast?
00:25:24
Speaker
To be honest, I'm gonna out myself. I don't think I've ever really fasted. Like even when I was a kid, I was only secretly eating. yeah It's just like, it's not for me. Yeah, that's very fair. and i think the thing that I learned two years ago about Ramadan that like kind of blew my mind Wait, can I, i just want to say, i think to make Muslims feel better, i take the mental illness route out. Like I'm like BPD, gay, retarded. Like I'm not allowed to fast technically.
00:25:56
Speaker
So. Right. Like you are a sin, a walking sin. So you better not touch. No, I'm not a walking sin. I'm a walking person in need of accommodations. Right.
00:26:08
Speaker
writes Right. Right. Handy capable. Yeah. to keep but ah um I was going to say i grew up with the mentality that Ramadan is punitive.
00:26:21
Speaker
Like i grew up with that anxiety where it's like, oh my God, if I don't pray five times a day, then I'm a shit Muslim. I'm going to burn in hell. If I like drink water, I'm going to burn in the hell. of bla blah blood Like it was so boring. Oh, really? Like so boring because that wasn't that punitive to like for us. It was very like, oh, you just like I mean, OK, you can't just drink water for fun. But like if you can't fast, just make it up like before the next time I'm on.
00:26:48
Speaker
No, for some reason, i think they just like teach us in school that if like this is like a must, like it's one of the five pillars. So like like it's a must.
00:26:59
Speaker
So I think I grew up and then it's also encouraged from such a young age. And it's almost like if you don't do it, then you're not cool or you're not like that's how it is in the Middle East. Like it's it because everyone does it.
00:27:11
Speaker
If you're like the kid that doesn't fast, you're made fun of. Okay, this episode is being pivoted to the one about Ramadan. because was going to make a whole last episode for Ramadan. We're going to be talking about Ramadan all the time. Yeah, because it's the whole month.
00:27:25
Speaker
But okay, I had a really good analogy when you were talking about that. Okay, I think Ramadan, because I'm thinking, okay, when people say, oh, I'm excited for Ramadan, you're a fucking liar. But I will say, like, that is me thinking in like my kid brain, where it's like, as a child, Ramadan isn't that fun.
00:27:42
Speaker
Especially when you're like in your early fasting days and when you're a guy and you stop getting money for Eid. Like everything becomes, you realize that being a guy is really fucking shitty. Yeah. And you don't get any love or affection anymore because you're a man. Right.
00:27:56
Speaker
Anyway, so I think it's like, it's kind of the inverse of Christmas for white people because it's like, as kit for kids, Christmas is really exciting. But for the adults, it's kind of really fucking annoying.
00:28:07
Speaker
But I think the inverse is true. Like, I think if I was still a part of my family, but I mean, I have my chosen family and I get excited for Ramadan, even though I don't fast. But because there's like these dinners and gatherings that are happening more often.
00:28:20
Speaker
So I think it's like when you're older, it's really nice. Like, oh, I'm constantly seeing people I don't really get to see as much. And it's like so frequently and it's like we're really having these special moments because we're starving. So food tastes extra good. So we're like really fucking doing it up for a whole month.
00:28:35
Speaker
No, absolutely. When you're a kid, you don't really, that's not your social experience. So it's different. Right. No, that's very true. I feel like Ramadan, when I describe it to people that don't know anything about it I grew up literally Ramadan was like Thanksgiving every fucking day.
00:28:50
Speaker
like That's literally what it's like because youre and but it's like a rotation. There's like a calendar. Tomorrow we're going to Auntie Hayat's house. Tomorrow we're going to but blah, blah, blah. you know And it's always like jamaat, like big groups of people. There's always a ton of food.
00:29:06
Speaker
It's great. In Winnipeg, our family's so big that, like, it became so many different, like, ashes or, like, dinner parties. Like, people, like, we literally just ran into convention center and do, like, one big one a week. Yeah. Where, like, one would be a potluck.
00:29:22
Speaker
One would be, like, everyone pitching some money and there'll be, like, fried chicken and pizza or whatever. And then, like, maybe another potluck. Because, like, literally my my mom has six siblings.
00:29:34
Speaker
Mm-hmm. So each one having Asha already a lot. And then you have like cousins. You have my dad. He has lots of family, but they're they weren't in Winnipeg as much. so But like he had his like one brother there. And then you have the grandparents. And like, right. And it kind of gets political in a way of like,
00:29:51
Speaker
who will you invite and who's it for and whose house it's at and what you make and who's like a good cook. And honestly, like it is very misogynistic in the way that this is all women coordinating everything. The men are really only doing the men to men invites.
00:30:07
Speaker
Right. And they're doing the complaining because people are just in their homes and they have to like be ah emotionally on in a way, which is hard for them. Yeah. And they also get to be like, yeah, they complain. my um ah My dad grew up complaining about like, oh, like why they invite them, but not us or why us invite them, but not that. the but but but but And I'm like, who fucking cares?
00:30:29
Speaker
Like if I know what it is in their mind, it's I think it's about spending money on food for people. Could be, except the thing is, is that my dad will literally sell his house for people.
00:30:39
Speaker
Like he's that type of person. He will. met But in a, in a, I think I told you this, his love language is like money giving money, like spending. So the problem is, is he thinks Like, he it's actually the opposite where we're trying to tell him to stop.
00:30:55
Speaker
Like, you should relax. But he values... These people don't ever feed us. Why are we buying them a whole sheep? Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. But I was going to say about Ramadan, I feel like I enjoy the as the communal aspect of it. But more recently, like the past two years even, is when I had the aha moment that, oh, Ramadan isn't supposed to be punitive.
00:31:19
Speaker
Somebody told me that, and i I know this is so basic, but it literally changed my whole perspective, that religion is supposed to make your life easier. Like it's supposed to be a guide.
00:31:30
Speaker
So Ramadan in itself, the month of Ramadan is to make you feel, ah what's the word? Mindful, like spiritual in that way. Like you're supposed to just be aware of what you're eating, the ritual of the demure. Like it's supposed to be this energy where you're just like aware of everything you're doing and purposefully doing it like with intention.
00:31:51
Speaker
And I think that's what's so special about it. And that's what I'm hoping to bring into this year, as I did last year. I feel like last year was another special year because it was right after October 7. So I feel like the Muslim community, especially in North America, was extremely like energetic about Ramadan because we needed it.
00:32:11
Speaker
Yeah. And so i feel I feel like even this year, like ah next week on Sunday, I'm throwing like a big iftar, which very similar to what you're describing. I was like, who should I invite?
00:32:21
Speaker
ah started inviting a few people and then I was like, shit, if I invite them and I don't invite them, they're going to like, obviously I'm going to post a about on social media and they're to think, why was I not invited? So it ended up being, I think like 20 people are showing up and I have a one bedroom apartment, so I don't know how it's going to.
00:32:37
Speaker
I'm actually nervous. It'll be fine. We'll see. We'll see. Are you just making it like potluck? So I said potluck, but I am going to cook a lot of the foods. I'm planning on making it.
00:32:48
Speaker
It's potluck, but you're bringing a lot to the table. Yeah. yeah I think that's a good way to do it these days. I think so everyone to bring like a little dessert, maybe like someone brings dessert, a wine, an appetizer. yeah And then you maybe do like an entree and like something else aside and then it's good.
00:33:05
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It'll be fine.
Queer Muslims & Ramadan
00:33:08
Speaker
I'm hoping i I'm going to be able to like fit everyone. its But I feel like I've seen the thing about New York is that people throw these gatherings all the time where there's like 30 people in a shoebox apartment.
00:33:20
Speaker
It's Toronto too. yeah Yeah. So I'm not going to feel self-conscious about that. People are just going to have to figure it out. I'm so jealous of people in cities with like affordable apartments. Like Montreal is a really special city in that it's not a shithole, not middle of nowhere, but it's still very affordable.
00:33:37
Speaker
So like a lot of my friends are actually have really nice apartments and like the gatherings they're able to throw there. Like, I'm so jealous in multiple rooms and there's crown molding and high ceilings. And it's like,
00:33:50
Speaker
but Half of these people are students. No, that's very very true. For Namathon, I'm going to say what I'm hoping to get out of it as a non-faster. I'm hoping to just strengthen bonds.
00:34:02
Speaker
um I feel like very... I don't feel spiritually inclined to do anything with rigidity. So like... i so I'm like, I feel like maybe in the next two or three Ramadons, I'd be like interesting and fasting because I'm not discounting fasting like I'm not a hater.
00:34:19
Speaker
But like, personally, as a traumatized queer Muslim person, like, it's too much right now for me to fast. Yeah, no, that's that's very valid.
00:34:30
Speaker
Because also to like, it's kind of weird thinking that my family's totally having an Ramadan and just like pretending like they don't have a like a whole other child. That's just like not there because the thing is, it's not like they talk about it.
00:34:43
Speaker
Right. They pretend it never happens. Which is so weird. That's crazy. It's crazy. crazy That's crazy. And unfortunately that's like their coping mechanism, but it's so unfair.
00:34:54
Speaker
Like that's such a shitty thing to do. um Yeah. I mean, even like when I say fasting, I should also preface that I still drink water because I'm not crazy. I'm not going to not drink water. I can't. Like, I'm sorry. I can't.
00:35:08
Speaker
The other thing I like about Ramadan is that if it allows me it gives me an excuse to be an introvert. It gives me an excuse to talk to no one because but like I will change my schedule so that I'll start waking up at 4 going to the gym, coming back, eating suhoor, then going to work, coming back, resting a little iftar, and then sleep right away. So I'm in bed by 8 p.m.
00:35:34
Speaker
yeah And so that's perfect. Anytime someone's going to be like, hey, you want to hang out? going be like, sorry, I can't. It's Ramadan. That sounds like hell to me. Yeah, I actually, i to me, hanging out with people is very fun and pleasurable, but it is something that I consider a chore.
00:35:52
Speaker
I think that's like, it's almost a level of privilege to be able to do that because you don't live, if you lived in solitude, like I live alone. Right. i Would you do that if you live alone? That's a very good point.
00:36:05
Speaker
I mean, I did that last year when I was living in Boston and John was in New York, but we still FaceTimed every day. So you're right. Like it's not, it doesn't count. I get what you're saying. I think if I was completely, I haven't been alone in so long since don't know.
00:36:21
Speaker
Yeah, i think I think if I could put myself in your shoes, I would feel that way. Like, I would want some level of interaction with people. Yeah, I'm just like, oh my god, if you like literally forbid me from like, if my schedule made it so I couldn't hang out with people for a month, like I would literally be living in solitary confinement.
00:36:38
Speaker
Because there's no regular days where I'm just like, I don't have, I could literally not say a single word to somebody. Right, and also you work from home. I work from home at a job with no meetings yeah ever.
00:36:50
Speaker
I have not had a fucking meeting with anybody in like over six months. Wow. That's actually, you know what I think? No, I have the dream job to some people, yeah but like personally, i some like i'm I feel like I've learned how to chill and enjoy it, but I do feel like it can get a little bit purgatory sometimes.
Isolation and Working from Home
00:37:08
Speaker
I was going to say, I feel like you're somebody I picture in like an office with your like little like group of, and like a gaggle of women that you chat with. like ah I feel like you would suit more to going and send in, ah like not working from home.
00:37:24
Speaker
Government suits me because it's very laid back. And I think it's like, actually, like people, the government is very big. Like a lot of people are public servants. You'd never know. Like, actually, there was this very like eccentric, queer, black um executive. I forget what she did. it was something so random.
00:37:45
Speaker
But she was really cool. And I was like, it was like the first time I had ever seen a public servant spoke where i was like, well, I feel like I like I am like you. um But I'm just like in a very small, very like niche area. And like it's it's one of like three jobs I've had in my like adult life. So I don't have a ah good variety of.
00:38:08
Speaker
Like what's out there. Yeah. Do you like desserts? Ramadan desserts? I like um Asafir. What is that? i know that Honestly, I think it's one. i think my Siddurlokhi just like made that shit up.
00:38:21
Speaker
No, it's a real dessert, but like it's the it's where it's like a little pancake with cream. Oh, that's it. We call them Atayef. Atayef?
00:38:32
Speaker
Yeah, but like not fried. No, they can be either baked or or in the one that you're describing, it's probably just the the dough that's cooked like a pancake. And then it's folded over and cream. And it's pinched like this. yeah And they put like the stashios or something on top. And you can throw some syrup on top.
00:38:50
Speaker
Yes. I swear to God, like I know Asafir, what is that, like birds or something? Yes, sir. Yeah. I don't know why, i swear to God, that's what my siddha called it I knew it was like also called by something else, but for some reason in my mind, it's like stuck like that.
00:39:03
Speaker
Right. I think atayif is like the best thing ever. And when it's made the way that you're describing, I like that. I actually haven't had that too many times. Normally, just like you said, it's either like completely pinched off like a dumpling stuffed with like cheese or walnuts or whatever, and then fried or baked.
00:39:23
Speaker
But I think that's going to be what I want make. Not for the iftar group thing that I'm doing, for me. Like I'm going to probably do that separately another time because I fucking love Abaif. They're so good.
00:39:35
Speaker
That's so cute. Yeah, why not? Do you know Arwama? Yes, those balls. Yeah. I don't like... You don't like them? No, it's too sweet for me.
00:39:47
Speaker
That's fair. That's so sweet. No, that's so sweet. That's intensely... I do have a sweet tooth, but it needs more... That's too sticky and...
00:39:59
Speaker
I kind of don't like that rose watery sweetness as much. I prefer more of like a creamy, like I like Knafa. um I like the, what was other one we were talking about? I want to say Asafir, but Adayaf.
00:40:16
Speaker
ah What else do they have? I like Asafir. That's cute. like as you for the you Especially for the ones that are like pinched. that makes Can we go back to a second, Kate? Because I have this theory that no one actually really fasts properly.
00:40:31
Speaker
Like most people are not like most people are just low-key drinking water, eating a little snack in the day. Or even... long have you been fasting where you've been drinking water? Like... So like as there have been a few years where I actually did like not drink, not eat.
00:40:47
Speaker
And you know what it is? After the first couple of days, your body does get used to it. Like initially it feels like impossible, but then your body does get used to it, especially when you're like working or going to school. I feel like it's easier to do because you're occupied.
00:41:03
Speaker
I agree. and you're surrounded by people who are also doing it. So it kind of feels like a possibility. When I was like trying to do it at like 15, 16, I'd have like a random religious era.
00:41:13
Speaker
I think the part is like, yeah, you get used to it, but then you're just exhausted because you're either always hungry and tired or you're full and tired. Right. Right. That's very true.
00:41:24
Speaker
And every night I'm so anxious because I'm like dodging my dad so he doesn't ask me to go to fucking Tadoweeh. Yeah, oh my god. See, like, I... like yeah Like, at the end, when people are eating desserts, I'm, like, trying to hide somewhere so he's not like, oh, do you want to come? And, like, what fucking excuse do you have to say, I don't want to go to the mesjed and, like, seem like an irreligious dickbag? Yeah. i accident I actually also avoid tarawiyah.
00:41:49
Speaker
I, yeah, I've avoided all kinds of like organ again, because I just don't like being surrounded by too many people all the time, especially in the Middle East where I don't relate to these fucks. Like I'm in a mosque where everyone around me probably wants me dead.
00:42:02
Speaker
So I'm like, why do I want to be here? Prayer is meditation. And as a person who's very grounded, let me do my own meditation for my own time. I'll do it when I see fit. yeah Maybe you need it because you're a traumatized heterosexual person who needs that structure in your life.
00:42:18
Speaker
I don't, I, I'm on my sexual, so sexual journey. Sure. I'm on a sexual journey. Yeah. ah That's funny. That's cute.
00:42:31
Speaker
Yeah, no, I totally agree. I feel like you're right. No one actually fasts the correct way in the sense that technically you're not only supposed to be fasting from food. You're not allowed to swear. You're not allowed to swear. You're fasting from pleasures. ah You're fasting from like, yeah, you're not supposed to be impure.
00:42:51
Speaker
You're not supposed to be a dickbag. Yes. Have negative thoughts. Yeah. Which honestly, like, again, and again, see, even us just now saying you're not supposed to, i think it's more so about, like, have you ever done, like, meditation where you sit down and follow guided meditation? I understand. It's like, it's it's not for, it's not to, it's your betterment. It's like, you should be more intentional about your thinking. should be that if, let's say, for example, you get a bad thought, you're supposed to register that bye bad thought, be mindful of it, and then like be like, okay, I'm going to move away from it. It's the Muslim thing, though. they like
00:43:26
Speaker
When they're like, you know what? bless When they're talking about a sinner or someone they hate, they're just like, Allah hadik. a lady a lady yeah it's kind of the same thing as like what yeah what do the southern people say they have a thing bless your heart yeah bless your heart but it's not a real like okay i'm talking about on their terms what we're saying you're not supposed to be because that's how they that's how a lot of conventional muslims are like you this you that so it's like if you point the finger back at them i think like the tools for them to like properly reflect where it's like okay you get
Mindful Fasting Beyond Food
00:43:59
Speaker
a judgmental thought about someone
00:44:01
Speaker
there To them, being a woken, uplifted person is to be like, God will guide them. That's none of my business. To me, it's more of like, why am I judging this person? What does that say about me? Like, what is being reflected?
00:44:15
Speaker
Like, you know what I mean? Like, to like actually move beyond that. Yeah, like instead of... Rather than this pious, like, oh, I'm so good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's almost like to bring yourself up, you bring them down by saying like, oh, I'm the better person. Like, Allah, you're indeed. Like, that it really does come off like condescending and disingenuous.
00:44:36
Speaker
like no one actually means that, like, I actually hope somebody helps him. But they literally think that, well, they kind of do. They're like, oh, I hope they come back and do what I'm doing. yeah You know what I mean? Rather than like seeing them as a person, which is like kind of the more disrespectful part about it.
00:44:51
Speaker
And then they think they're being pious while doing it. Right, right, right. Yeah. um Yeah, Ramadan, what you gonna do? What are you gonna do in Miami? So very coincidentally, i have friends who are visiting from New York.
00:45:05
Speaker
So they're coming from New York and they just so happened to be in Miami when we're here in Florida. So they were like, oh come down. The train is like an hour. Oh my God, how long are you going to be in Miami for?
00:45:16
Speaker
No, literally the day and then we're coming back. but But we're going to this, which this might be either an amazing experience or a horrible experience, but We Pride. Are you familiar with the organization?
00:45:28
Speaker
I wasn't until like recently. What's the organization? It's basically like the circuit gays, like how they like travel from like state to state and organize these like stupid-ass parties everywhere.
00:45:39
Speaker
You're going to a ah ah circuit party? It's not. It's supposed to be a day pool party. On the first of Ramadan. Oh, my God. Yeah.
00:45:50
Speaker
So I'm going to go to that. And I'm like kind of anxious because the last time I was at a gay pool party was in Puerto Vallarta. And I fucking hated that shit because seeing people walk around barefoot.
00:46:03
Speaker
walking in and out of the bathroom, peeing and then going back in the pool. Something about that, like, really... Porta Bayerta gays are just particularly disgusting. Yeah, I was crashing out the whole time because I was like, like, we're literally skin to skin in this pool and I'm like...
00:46:20
Speaker
Like, get me of my heart. I'm hoping there's going to be more, like, space to breathe. I don't want to touch people. I don't want people to touch me. Yeah. People are going to touch you I'm just telling you that now.
00:46:32
Speaker
People are going to try to touch you. I hate when someone walks by. I hate when they put their hand on you. you're back. When they're trying to slide past you, it's like. i agree. 100% agree. Something about that just feels...
00:46:48
Speaker
Yeah. I don't know. Like, don't touch me. I don't. In the same way that I don't like passive aggressiveness, I don't like passive flirting. Yeah. Yeah. So, like, if you're going to flirt with me, just, like, do it.
00:47:01
Speaker
Be like, you have a nice ass. Can I touch it? And then I'll let you know. Exactly. i'll let I will literally let you know. i' be like, yes or no. Yes, forwardness is sexy. Exactly. Forwardness is sexy. And to emphasize my skin-to-skin issue, even when we're sleeping in bed, either me or John has to be wearing a shirt.
00:47:19
Speaker
One of us has to be wearing a shirt if we if he wants to cuddle. So if he's like... Because i just... Look, I obviously love...
00:47:31
Speaker
but I obviously love like when it's a sexual activity. like If I'm having intercourse, I'd be okay with skin to skin. But in any other setting, like if we're literally just cuddling in bed, I need there to be a barrier. Because you know what it is?
00:47:48
Speaker
I hate when skins are touching for so long, they start to get sweaty. And sticky. And sticky. That feeling, I really don't like it.
00:47:58
Speaker
You sound so autistic. I am so high maintenance. Like, and I am probably a flavor of autism. A hundred percent. And this is why I'm not going to see you in New York.
00:48:12
Speaker
Right. Which I appreciate, but like, I appreciate you asking before and even like, I would love to host you. Well, how would I show up and not ask?
00:48:23
Speaker
No, no, no. As in you were forward and were like, I want to come to New York. Can I come to New York? And I was like, actually, yeah. But then in my head, ah immediately like anxiety bells were ringing, not because it's you.
00:48:34
Speaker
Again, it's because literally just the idea of like, I'm going to start stressing about entertaining them. I'm going to start stressing about like, OK, how am I still going to do my root routine? and How am I blah, blah, blah, which again, I would have done like I would have done.
00:48:48
Speaker
And I would still do if you insist, because I want you to have that experience. But what I'm trying to say is like... I do want to have... The thing is, I kind of... Well, if you're asking if I'm insisting, I'm kind of... and If you're insisting and you want to come and you know how I feel about it, then I'm okay with it.
00:49:04
Speaker
Like, i'm I think, honestly, alhamdulillah, for, like, the past couple years, I've been able to travel, like, three or four times a year. ah thats That's great. Yeah. but That's going to slow down, though. Like, that's definitely not sustainable. But, like, I'm ok also okay with that because I did a lot...
00:49:22
Speaker
And I'm whatever. nice You know, you act like you get a rhythm. My problem is, is that my sacrifice is that I literally, two of my trips every year are to the Middle East to see family, which is a privilege.
00:49:34
Speaker
But at the same time, I'm wasting four weeks of vacation Not wasting, but like, i am I'm not, it's not a vacation. Like I'm literally like. don't get your family to meet you in places? Be like, if you want to see me, I'm in Istanbul.
00:49:50
Speaker
I'm going to start doing that. I'm actually going to start doing that. I'm going be like, especially the next year when I'm living not in New York, I'm going to want to go to places I want to. So that's such a good idea. Like we'll say we'll meet up here for a week and then I could come to the Middle East for a week. But like that's it.
00:50:05
Speaker
You have to come if you want to. Or also people can. I mean, I'm I'm kind of like intrigued by what. um we youre Can we say where you're moving? Yes, Baltimore.
00:50:16
Speaker
I'm intrigued by Baltimore. Like I feel like I'm like, OK, whatever. i won't see you in New York. That's fine. don't really even care about New York. It's going to be scarier.
00:50:27
Speaker
I see. I don't think so. I think the thing about Baltimore is that it's a driving city. No, I just mean I'm scared of because you have to fly to D.C. Oh, no, no, you don't actually. Where do you fly to? There's an airport ah that's like a Baltimore airport.
00:50:44
Speaker
It's still considered a Washington airport, but it's closer to Baltimore. Okay. Yeah, no, it's pretty close. I think it's like 20-ish, 30 minutes driving from Baltimore.
00:50:55
Speaker
Do we have anything else to say about Ramadan or um Florida? Shout out to Florida and Ramadan this episode. Yeah, this episode there will be florida and Ramadan and Florida. I don't know. so Something like that. but yeah no i think A good clickbait title. Yeah, we'll figure it out. Pool party in Ramadan. Ramadan circuit. Gay pool party.
00:51:19
Speaker
In Florida. In Miami. Haram halal. yeah something question mark question mark yeah uh okay you know what's funny this is there's no shaitans out so this is you this is all you what do you mean there's no shaitans out because isn't ramadan like shaitan is locked away so it's like there's no one whispering in your ear yeah that's true this is me baby i'm just uh i Imagine you're drinking Ramadan.
00:51:50
Speaker
Honestly, when I was in a closet, I thought, I'm like, oh, would I magically not become gay during this time? And then I was still gay. So i was like, clearly this shit, like, yeah. And I've been to the Dead Sea. Like, that's where my people were first slaughtered. Like, don't you think God would try to kill gay people if they walked into the Dead Sea? like Right. No.
00:52:09
Speaker
You float. You float like everyone else. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So is this the random episode? No, it's not the random episode. We literally just... Florida and Ramadan. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:52:23
Speaker
Florida and Ramadan circuit party yeah episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you guys for watching. Do you want to do the rest of the outro? Just to give it a shot. No, actually, that was fine.
00:52:34
Speaker
Okay. Thank you guys for watching. This is all of people. Subscribe, like, comment, share. Please. And behind ah yeah, i'll see us next week. If you come find me, I'll hit you.
00:52:46
Speaker
Same. I don't talk to me in person. Please. Okay.