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29. How to Face the Fear + Put Yourself Out There on Your Purpose Journey!
35 Plays2 years ago
Welcome beauty!
This week I share all about feeling the fear and moving forward through it.
I cover:
- Why we feel so much fear when we're on the Purpose path and putting ourselves out there, sharing our gifts and magic with the world.
- How to move through the fear and keep going!
- Some examples of scary things I've been moving through and how it's leading me to big breakthroughs.
- I share how I used to be TERRIFED of showing my face on camera and speaking on zoom calls to how I slowly worked my way up to being seen and then leading workshops.
- I share a horror story of the worst experience I've had leading a group circle and what I learned from it!
Let's connect! www.instagram.com/iamellisamae
Book a Human Design or Gene Keys Reading with me: https://calendly.com/byellisamccoy
If you loved this episode please rate and leave a review, it would mean SO much to me!
xx
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Transcript
Introduction to 'It's Happening For Me'
00:00:01
Speaker
Hello, my friend. Welcome to the It's Happening For Me podcast. If you are obsessed with all things spirituality, personal growth and development, and living as your highest self, you are in the right place. I am your host, Alyssa, and I spent the majority of my teenage years and young 20s living totally out of climate. As I started to question my patterns and behaviors and actually got to know myself at the soul level, I realized that everything was happening for me.
00:00:30
Speaker
Now, as a spiritual life coach and human design guide, I am here to share my voice, personal stories, human design wisdom, and learn from incredible individuals living their purpose. Join me each week as we walk the spiral path of purpose together. I cannot wait to dive in.
00:00:53
Speaker
Hello, my beautiful friend. Welcome to the It's Happening For Me podcast. I'm your host, Alyssa, and I am so happy you're here with me today.
Embracing Fear and Growth
00:01:04
Speaker
Girl, today I want to talk about how to feel the fear and keep on going anyways. And I was kind of reflecting on what I wanted to talk about on this week's episode. And that is like the major theme that has been highlighted to me.
00:01:22
Speaker
because I have had all of these little micro up levels and it has been through feeling the fear and literally putting myself in uncomfortable positions because that is when we're able to grow and really spread ourselves to this new version of ourselves that we probably didn't think was possible. It's like every time that I do that,
00:01:49
Speaker
I always come out on the other side so proud of myself. This is also just going to be an uplifting episode, probably a shorter episode that I just wanted to share with you some thoughts, maybe some channeled messages all about how to just keep going. Just keep going on your purpose journey.
00:02:14
Speaker
at the same time, be so grateful for how far you've come so far because you have come very far. Okay, so with that being said, I want to talk about how to feel the fear and keep going anyways. So the thing about us humans, as you know, is we crave certainty. Like there is nothing more that the mind wants
00:02:41
Speaker
than to be certain and to know the how. We just wanna know, okay, I have this goal, I have this big vision, maybe it's not even a huge goal, maybe it's just something new that we wanna try. And a lot of times we hold ourselves back from even trying or taking any action forward because we just don't know exactly how it's gonna turn out. And the fact that it could go so many different ways, potentially negative,
00:03:08
Speaker
is enough to keep us stuck. It's enough to keep us in the same position. And what I really like to do when I am really excited to do something, but then the fear sets in, I like to think about like, okay, what if I didn't do this
Overcoming Fear and Stagnation
00:03:24
Speaker
thing, right? Like what if I didn't take this chance? What if I didn't put myself out there? What if I didn't, you know, start this opportunity? How would my life be in a year from now, like if I didn't do it?
00:03:37
Speaker
And nine times out of 10, it's going to feel really stuck. And to me, it feels like stuck. It feels like boring. It feels like kind of a waste of time. Because if we're not growing and expanding, we're like, what are we doing? You know, we're just kind of wasting time. And so that's the first thing I like to do is think about, okay, what would my life look like if I didn't do this thing? And
00:04:04
Speaker
the thing with the mind. And last week I talked about the subconscious mind on the last episode. And it's funny because I don't know if you can relate, but
00:04:16
Speaker
I feel like once I publish a podcast episode, and then I don't always listen back to them, but sometimes I do. And sometimes I'm like, oh my God, I wish I would have said this, this, and this. It's missing so much. There's so many incomplete thoughts. And then it's the urge to want to delete it or to do my real urge is to do a part two episode and just say all the things I didn't say. But then I'm like, OK, I don't really want to do that in the moment I want to.
00:04:45
Speaker
like if I try to respond to that idea later it's like it's not even actually like responding to something outside of myself and I just like don't have the energy for it so I'm like okay I'm just gonna let that live there and know that whatever came out is what was meant to come out and hopefully it did its job like hopefully it made some sort of difference and
00:05:08
Speaker
I can always add other things later to other conversations. So basically my point with this is that our mind wants to be certain, right? And the thing is is that we cannot be certain about anything. Like that is one of the major shadows and major traps of humans is this idea that we can be certain about something. And if we're not certain, we're going to wait until we're certain or we're going to wait until we know exactly how it's going to unfold and how the steps are going to
00:05:37
Speaker
be put together to get to this desired outcome. But if you look at or talk to very successful people or people that you look up to,
00:05:51
Speaker
they always say the same thing. It's like they had no freaking idea how they were going to get there. They just knew, they were very clear about what they wanted. They believed in themselves and they always just kept taking the next step, the next step forward, like the next step forward. What's the next obvious thing I can do? What's the next, even if it's simple thing I can do to move the needle forward? Like they never have it planned out. I was even asking,
00:06:20
Speaker
I think I've talked about this before, but I was even asking one of these really higher up executives in my company, how do you handle having so much responsibility? How is that? Your day-to-day life, isn't that very stressful at work? Because how do you know how you're going to handle these very complex situations? And he was like, oh my God, Alyssa, honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing. He's like, nobody knows what they're doing.
00:06:46
Speaker
So things just come up and then I just figure it out. He's like, I just have to somehow come up with a solution. So I don't spend time worrying about not knowing the solution. He's like, I just live in the present moment and as things come up, we figure it out. And he's like, so don't ever think that
00:07:04
Speaker
people in these very high executive levels or people that we look up to are very successful people have everything figured out and that's why they're where they're at. It's like, no, nobody knows what they're doing and we're all just doing the best we can. But they're not letting fear hold them back. They're not letting fear hold them back from taking the next step, from putting themselves out there, from going after what they want. And of course, following our strategy and authority so that we can be in alignment with our desires.
Clarity vs. Certainty
00:07:31
Speaker
But
00:07:32
Speaker
Like everyone feels fear and everyone feels confusion still, no matter how successful they are. Like there is no certainty. So if we can just release certainty, even though it's very hard to do, and instead what I like to do is look for clarity.
00:07:49
Speaker
Instead of certainty, I will seek clarity, clarity around the situation. What is the next best step I can take? What does my heart want? Is this actually what my heart wants or is this what my mind wants me to do? Is this a should in life? Is this goal based off what my peers or family wants me to do or am I following my heart? The more clarity we have about something can give us
00:08:18
Speaker
the courage to move through it. But sometimes we don't even have clarity until we take action. Like once we take action on, on the things that we want and we start making little steps, we start getting clear of like, Oh wow, like I didn't actually like that. Or I don't like how this turned out. I'm going to do this differently next time. But we can never figure that out if we don't actually do
Purpose and Action
00:08:39
Speaker
anything about it. And we just kind of stay stuck in this, like, I like to call it like daydreaming.
00:08:47
Speaker
It's like a daydreaming sphere. I don't know how to describe it, but I can really relate to it because I have so many ideas. I have a very active mind, very active imagination, so I have so many ideas for my business, so many things I want to do in my life, and I'm always thinking about it. I'm always thinking about my purpose.
00:09:10
Speaker
eight hours a day like I mean not consecutively but I'm always thinking about these kind of things but then when I look back and I'm like okay but what am I actually taking action on like if it's nothing then this thinking is literally just thinking it's not doing anything for us and so that's why I really like to
00:09:27
Speaker
um, get out of this like trap of certainty so that I can actually take action even when it feels really scary. Um, and then also I just wanted to put a note in there that, you know, it's, we're living our soul's purpose. It's not like we're finding it. And then all of a sudden now we know our purpose and then our whole life is like, okay, like now I know my purpose and my whole life is like solved and planned for the rest of our lives. It's like, no, our purpose we're, we're, it's not this thing we find it's, it's a being, it's an essence of who we are.
00:09:56
Speaker
And as we live more in alignment with our soul's purpose, it's like we are in the present moment. We're constantly evolving. We're constantly pivoting and choosing a new route. And then when that feels good, we're going down that road a little bit longer. And when that no longer feels good, then we switch over here and we allow ourselves to be flexible and we don't stay in a rigid
00:10:20
Speaker
judgmental space because then we might stay trapped or we might feel like we're stuck on this part of our purpose when all we have to do is just change the way that we're thinking about things, open ourselves up to endless possibilities and now there's like whole endless infinite line of possibilities opens up and we can move on to the next, the next step, the next timeline.
00:10:44
Speaker
Okay, so these are some things that I wrote down that really helped me with this of being able to feel the fear and do it anyways. And then I'll talk about some personal examples that I've had that I've been moving through recently that I think are really relatable so that you can see what I'm actually talking about. But I'm pretty sure this can really apply to your life too. So number one,
00:11:08
Speaker
we, like I said, need to loosen our grip on things. So if you think about your hands and imagine like your hands in a fist and like you're holding so tight onto this idea of what your purpose is, it's like you're just like
00:11:22
Speaker
I want to know it so bad. I just want to know what the next steps are. I want to know not even the next steps. Like I want to know the how I want to know how it's going to work out. I want to know what the next like 50 steps are. And like I want the plan in front of me. It's like we're holding so tight into it. And when we're holding so tight onto something, we're not able to receive anything. But if we loosen the grip, if we let go of that rigidity and we opened our hand and we said,
00:11:47
Speaker
I'm open to the possibility of living my purpose and embodying the essence of who I am. I'm open to just the next step. I'm open to this next step. I would love it to just gently land in my palm here so that I can take some action on this next simple step. That's it.
00:12:10
Speaker
And then we're able to receive, we're able to receive inspiration, ideas, opportunities, divine alignment from the universe. We're allowed to receive opportunities that just drop in from nowhere. We're able to receive calls or like someone reaching out to us or this friend of a friend who knows a friend who is introducing them to us. And then like this opportunity opens up or whatever it is, you know, it's like when we have this loose open grip
00:12:38
Speaker
It's like an open hand instead of a tight grip we're able to receive. And so allowing ourselves to be flexible and not so rigid is the first step. The next thing would be to be okay with allowing yourself to change your mind.
Flexibility and Change
00:12:51
Speaker
Um, this used to hold me back so much in the past is like, Oh my God, I need to figure out exactly what my purpose is. I need to know exactly who my audience is. What, who, what am I talking about? What do I want to share? What magic do I want to bring to the world? Because this is going to be in my legacy and this is it. And then it's like, I would come up with this idea of like what I think it is.
00:13:12
Speaker
And then I would be so attached to that that if that wasn't working, or if I was no longer interested in that, or if I learned something new that I wanted to pursue, I would hold myself back from doing anything because I was so afraid of pivoting. And so it's very important that we allow ourselves to be okay with changing our mind, because this is the biggest
00:13:35
Speaker
mind-blowing thing that I've learned on this purpose journey is that there is no end destination. Like I said, it's not like we just find our purpose one day and then that's it. It's like we're living our purpose for our whole lives. And so things just unwind.
00:13:51
Speaker
onto each other and everything changes all the time. It's like, we're these like multi-dimensional, multi-faceted beings, like there's no way you could put us into a box. Even though I personally love like human design and gene keys and astrology and those like typology systems that like can really teach us a lot about ourselves,
00:14:11
Speaker
But it can be limiting if we put ourselves in a box and we think like, Oh, like I can only do this because this is my human design. It's like, that's not what human design is for. It's not meant to be limiting or to put us in a box. It's meant to allow ourselves to actually be way more free because we're just accepting who we are at the soul level. And then everything else kind of like lines up. So being okay with changing our mind and being okay with
00:14:42
Speaker
knowing that we're going to have different interests. Different interests, we're going to meet different people. We're going to be open. Our eyes are going to open to new opportunities. As we continue to grow and evolve as people, we're going to change. And so just allow yourself to be okay with that and to change your mind and to completely let go of everything if you want. If you are feeling resistance because you're like, okay, I'm really interested in this new thing, but I've spent so much time cultivating
00:15:13
Speaker
everything. See if you're an entrepreneur and you have a business or you are a new coach and you want to go in a new direction, but you felt like you put so much time into this one direction, but it's just no longer serving you. It's okay to change your mind and move on to the next thing and be known for something else. It's okay. That's one thing that I wish I knew earlier on. Another thing is being okay with being wrong.
00:15:45
Speaker
changing your viewpoints because again there's also like so many episodes that I've done where like I was like oh I thought I was like I really felt a certain way about something and then I'll have this new experience or like this new download or I'll learn something like from the gene keys that just like
00:16:01
Speaker
I feel like it's changing me on a genetic level and it's changing the way that I think about a certain thing. Then I can get so embarrassed and be like, oh my God, I'm so embarrassed that I put a podcast episode out there talking about pretty with a lot of conviction how I feel about X, Y, and Z. But now with this new experience, my mind is completely changed. The ego can tell me that, okay, Alyssa, people are going to think that
00:16:27
Speaker
you're not reliable or like you're fickle or you're changing your mind often or like what's wrong with you or like you're not consistent. But then again, that's just the ego. And when I allow myself to be wrong or to know that like I'm going to change my viewpoints on things, it allows myself to just be so present with whatever message or whatever I want to talk about on the current episode and not really have to like worry so much about like, is that going to change in the future? Because it probably will change like,
00:16:56
Speaker
as we have new experiences and grow and evolve, our viewpoints often change too. So just be okay with that. Don't hold yourself back from sharing your truth, speaking your truth, expressing yourself because you're afraid that you might change down the line because you will change and that's okay. Another thing to do is to
00:17:20
Speaker
live with curiosity and excitement.
Approaching Life as a Game
00:17:22
Speaker
So I have heard from a lot of different people this concept of like gamifying your life. And I love this concept. It's basically where you kind of think about yourself as like a character in a game and you're like, okay, like I woke up today, this is awesome. What do I want to create?
00:17:41
Speaker
or what can I do today that would be so fun? What would this character do? What would she wear? Where would she go? What conversations would she have? What would she express? How would she put herself out there? It's really fun because then there's no really way that we can lose. If we're playing a game and this game is life and we're just taking
00:18:07
Speaker
action, we're taking risks, and we're putting ourselves out there and seeing like, Oh, like, does this work? Does this not work? Like, nothing bad can really happen. It kind of takes away the seriousness that our ego likes to have of like, protecting ourselves and our identity and like, not being embarrassed when we fail. It's like, if we think about ourselves as a character, it's like, it kind of takes away that like, deep
00:18:34
Speaker
sense or like feeling that we have connected to our identity that doesn't want to get hurt, if that makes sense. And so that has just really helped me thinking about like, Oh my God, okay, like social media, for example, we can either view it as like, Oh, like really scary, like to put ourselves out there and like share our lives and like,
00:18:52
Speaker
What if people judge us and like, you know, what if we say the wrong thing? Or we can think about it as like a game and think about like, oh, this is my channel that you're subscribing to. This is my reality TV show. I'm sharing my life and the things that I'm really excited about. And if you want to come in and view that, that's on you. But like basically this is me.
00:19:15
Speaker
putting myself out there. So anyone who views it, that's an invitation that they want to view what you're putting out there. Just like
00:19:24
Speaker
I could think like a fear of having a podcast could be like, Oh my God, like what if no one listens or what if people listen to it and then like they judge me, like they don't like the message that I'm sharing. Um, you know, whatever they think I'm a bad person or they think I'm stupid or they don't like the way my voice sounds or whatever. It's like that could lead me.
00:19:47
Speaker
to spiral and not put out any podcast episodes and still just be thinking about it for another two years of thinking about launching a podcast.
00:19:55
Speaker
or I can think about it as like a game and think about like, okay, like I'm just putting out, like it's not that serious. I'm putting out what I'm really excited to talk about today and the people who are tuning in are choosing to tune in. I'm not making people listen to this. Like they're choosing to search it, press play and listen, you know? And so it's like, if there's anything that they don't like or anything like that, they can just stop listening.
00:20:23
Speaker
you know, like nothing's gonna happen to me, I'm still safe and everything is okay. So it kind of like takes away a lot of the like seriousness around things, which has really helped me. Okay, so then the next kind of like one of the last next steps to this about just like really feeling the fear and going anyways is remove pressure of time and remove outside pressure. So I know because
00:20:53
Speaker
Girl, I experience this all the time. It's this pressure to hurry up and have my life figured out. And I know I always talk about this. I always come back to this. This is what I'm constantly coming in and out of, in and out of. I have so much root pressure in my design that it's like I, and I always just need to know like the next step or I'm always on the go. I'm driven. I want to know. I want to figure things out, but the more that I
00:21:19
Speaker
like increase that pressure for myself is the more that I spiral and the more stress that I'm in and it cuts off creative juices, it cuts off my joy, it cuts off my like happiness, it cuts off my like life force energy, it cuts off me just being okay with life and it just makes me worry.
00:21:41
Speaker
Every time that comes up, I remind myself, I'm the only one putting pressure on myself. Time pressure. There is no time pressure, like literally.
00:21:51
Speaker
Our society has done such a great job of pressuring us of time, of figuring things out. You're behind. You're behind. Oh my God, how old are you? Why are you not here? Your life is like falling apart. You should be here. You should be there. It's like our journey is our journey. We cannot compare it to any other person. We cannot compare our timelines to anybody else. Everything is happening in divine timing. If you were already supposed to have something, you would have it.
00:22:18
Speaker
So you're not supposed to have it yet because you don't have it. So it's like if you're already supposed to be in this position or make this much money or be impacting this much people or having this relationship, finding this dream partner.
00:22:35
Speaker
having this health. It's like, if you're already supposed to have that, you would have it. But you don't have it. So there's a reason. So allowing ourselves to take away this time pressure of like, hurry up, like, I need to be certain now, I need to know how things are going to work. And just instead, trusting, surrendering, which is so hard to do, I know. But surrendering to life and knowing like, okay, if I don't have it right now, obviously, there's a reason for it.
00:23:04
Speaker
And I know that it will be mine in due time. So allow yourself to relax, relax into that. Also removing pressure from your family members, your partners, any external people who are making you feel like you need to hurry up. Remove that and it opens up this freedom. It opens up this like
00:23:27
Speaker
It opens up your aura to just being beautiful and magnetizing. And when you're no longer in a hurry and you're going with
00:23:35
Speaker
like Gaia, the earth's beautiful energy, the rhythms of the seasons, and you're just flowing with life and you just know. It's like just this inner knowing, this like content. I want to keep saying, want to say content. Yeah, I don't want to say content, but contentment. It's like this inner contentment feeling that life is just, it's on your side. The universe is on your side. Things are opening up. It's so beautiful.
00:24:05
Speaker
The way that I get there is breath work, meditation, most recently chanting mantras and creating that space for myself to just give myself time, get off of electronics, off of social media, off of Netflix, and just allow myself to be. And I notice in those practices how crazy my freaking mind is, and then I can relax into it. The other day,
00:24:34
Speaker
I was doing a chanting meditation, not meditation, but I was chanting and chanting mantras. And something so beautiful about chanting mantras is it activates the throat chakra and that vibration of the hum, the humming, the vibration, that does something to us physiologically. It changes your state. And I noticed that the first
00:25:02
Speaker
So I did 108 and then 108. So the first 108 chants that I did, my mind was very active. I was thinking about things. I was coming in and out. It was very chaotic. And I was like, oh, this sucks. This isn't working. What's the point? So I was like, I'm going to do another round of 108. And as I was doing that, I softened into a very beautiful, clear,
00:25:31
Speaker
peaceful state. And I was reminded like, oh wow, so many times, so many reasons I have resistance toward meditation, towards chanting is because in the beginning it feels so yucky because it's going to reflect back to you exactly where your mind is at right now. And oftentimes for me, it's very chaotic. It's very all over the place. And so I always have that inner turmoil of like, Oh, what's the point? But the longer that I sit,
00:25:57
Speaker
The longer that I chance, the longer that I'm just there, things start to settle. And then I do become very still. And stillness is a beautiful energy that I have in my jean keys, in my pearl sequence. And everything settles, and then I just become extremely relaxed, clear, open,
00:26:25
Speaker
And then afterwards, it's like, oh yeah, like I'm in sync again with the rhythms of the universe and God. And I know that everything is unfolding in perfect timing. It takes away the pressure. It takes away the pressure. It takes away the stress. I feel so connected to source, so connected to my higher self. I feel so loved. I feel just like deeply loved, grounded, radiating, like all of the good feelings.
00:26:54
Speaker
And it always only comes from that stillness. It never comes from thinking. We can't think our ways into solutions. The mind is a trap. The mind is going to go around in circles. It will never lead to solutions. And I know that, but I forget that all the time until I do my practices. And I'm like, oh, yeah. This is why. This is the way.
00:27:24
Speaker
So yeah, just release the pressure, release the time, restraints that you need to have everything figured out.
Personal Growth Through New Interests
00:27:31
Speaker
I know it's really hard, but when you're feeling that pressure the most, do the practices that you love that bring you back to yourself, that bring you back to groundedness, to connected, to source, and that will help you move through that. And yeah, for a lot of us, it has to be a daily practice because that's going to come up every day for me specifically.
00:27:52
Speaker
So yeah, and then this is the last thing I want to say about that. Every part of our journey is happening for us to almost unlock the next step. So sometimes we might think like, this is it. Oh my God, I found the thing. This is it. This is everything.
00:28:14
Speaker
but then you find something else two months later and you're like, Oh my God, that wasn't the thing. That was just the thing that led me to this. And now this feels like it's everything. And then the more times that that happens, like I've started to realize like that it's never just the thing, but it's this gradual unfolding of my purpose of everything building on top of each other. Okay. So a great example is when I first found astrology,
00:28:38
Speaker
probably in 2021 is when I really started studying it and took trainings on it. And I was like, oh my God, I might have even been the end of 2020. I was like, oh my God, this is the thing. This unlocked everything. I'm obsessed. And I started offering
00:28:56
Speaker
birth chart readings. And I would read people's birth charts, mostly for my friends and family. And I remember creating, though, in-depth reading templates. And I would send them voice notes. And I just had this whole thing set up. And I was like, Oh, this is going to be my business. This is what I want to do. And then as time went on, I found human design. And I was like, Oh my God, this is the thing. I love human design. It goes even
00:29:24
Speaker
into a whole different aspect of the vehicle, of the person. And so of course I got obsessed, started doing readings for friends and family, started selling readings and have helped so many people connect to their human design and it felt so good. And then I found the gene keys and I was like, oh my God, this is the thing.
00:29:48
Speaker
And, you know, I've been obsessed with it and like super studying mine, contemplating, started doing free readings for friends and family, paid readings now. And what I realized is that
00:30:04
Speaker
to understand gene keys really well, I needed to understand astrology. I needed to understand human design. Those are both parts of it. Those are both major parts of the system of the gene keys. And it's like, if I would have just found the gene keys first, it probably wouldn't have resonated as much. And actually, I did find the gene keys
00:30:23
Speaker
first. So the first human design reading I ever had, I think it was actually before the first human design reading I ever got, I heard about the jinkies and I looked mine up and I was like, what am I looking at? I have absolutely no idea what's this
00:30:41
Speaker
profile is, it makes absolutely no sense. It was like I was reading in riddles. I tried to read the book completely. It was like I was reading Chinese. I had absolutely no idea what it was talking about. The concepts it was talking about were so foreign to me and I was like, I don't like this. I don't resonate with this. This makes absolutely no sense to me. It feels like I'm reading another language. I'm not interested. Then I got into human design.
00:31:07
Speaker
And then later again, Gene Keys. And when I got back, when I actually like looked at Gene Keys again, it made so much sense and everything else was unlocked. It was like I needed to unlock a different level or layer, layer or level of something of my consciousness to now understand this. And I'm not saying that anyone who starts to learn Gene Keys, you have to know astrology and
00:31:27
Speaker
human design? No. Some people start with jean keys and then maybe they'll learn later about human design, maybe learn about astrology, maybe they don't care. You don't have to know those things. You can just do the jean keys on its own and everyone, which is so beautiful, is going to have their own journey. Some people are going to start with human design.
00:31:46
Speaker
maybe they'll never like the gene keys. Some people are going to start with astrology and maybe they'll only always do astrology because that's what their soul wants to do. It's like all of us have our own paths and journeys and things are going to unlock and make sense to us when the time is right, when our soul is ready to understand them.
00:32:04
Speaker
So I just thought that was so cool because looking back to when I looked at human design and I was looking at the body graph, I really didn't understand anything that I was looking at. So I can understand how people feel when it's the first time that they're looking at it. It's really confusing. So it's just so funny to see what resonates to us and what doesn't.
00:32:28
Speaker
you know for you it might be yoga it might be the shocker system maybe you're super into like aliens and like extraterrestrials and like galactic beings or maybe you were really into like herbology and like plants and like plant medicine and
00:32:48
Speaker
healing people through that or maybe you're super interested in like food and like how food can heal people or maybe you loved crystals and like crystals is what like got you into everything or meditation you know like it's like we all have these like different entry ways to spirituality and to like learning about ourselves and like human um development human development um personal development growth you know just all ways that we can grow as spirits and so it's really really fun to see like
00:33:17
Speaker
what our individual paths are and they're so different and of course they can overlap in so many different ways and we have so many things in common too but it's just really really fun to see.
00:33:28
Speaker
So my point with that is that don't ever feel bad if you feel like, wow, I really love this certain modality and I spent so much time and effort learning about it. But now I'm really interested in this other thing, but I'm kind of scared to pursue it because I don't want to give up on the other thing. It's like, you don't have to give up on any of it. It's like, we can pick all of it. It doesn't have to be this or that. It can be this and that. It can be everything.
00:33:54
Speaker
Everything that you're learning and everything that you're experiencing is going into your toolbox for your unique magic. That's like your unique like sage wisdom that you have that you can help others with because
00:34:08
Speaker
these are the things that called to you and these are the things that spoke to you, that spoke to your soul and it's for a reason. You know, like the things that we're drawn to, we're drawn to them for a reason because our soul is designed to know them. It's like a soul remembrance and we're just remembering things that we've known for lifetimes. So I just think that's so beautiful. And
00:34:31
Speaker
The last, okay, so then I just want to give, yeah, so I want to give that example. And then the other thing too is like any time that we have experiences that we can deem negative are actually just teaching us and they're growing us to continue to choose the scary
Handling Criticism and Finding the Right Audience
00:34:50
Speaker
path. Like the scary path in terms of like, oh my God, I'm so excited about that, but I'm really scared because that's really gonna up level me. And so I wanted to share an example.
00:35:01
Speaker
So the first time I, okay, so I was invited to lead a call. I was invited to lead a call for a workshop in 2022, maybe. I think it was 2022 for like a really big
00:35:20
Speaker
a person with a really big platform. And so, you know, I had already worked with her and I was a coach for her and I was invited to lead like a holiday workshop. So I was super excited. This is the first time I ever hosted my own thing on Zoom and I was going to share my story and then like share tips and tricks with them about, I forget whatever like the topic was. And so I did it and it went amazing.
00:35:50
Speaker
I think there was like maybe eight people on the call, if I can remember correctly. And I remember going up to it, going into it, I was so excited, so prepared. I had all of my notes and I really prepared for this, days ahead of time. I looked so pretty for the call and I was just so excited. My energy was great and it went great. So that was my first experience ever leading something on Zoom with other people in a teaching capacity. This was me being a teacher.
00:36:18
Speaker
This is me being a guide. This is me sharing my story, my vulnerable story with this community and also teaching them something. It went great. I was high on life, so excited. I was like, oh my God, I'm still living my teacher archetype. This is so incredible. It was so well-received and it was just the best experience ever. That was like, cool, experience unlocked. I was so scared going into that. I was scared AF.
00:36:48
Speaker
Every time before I do really big things like this, I have like fantasies of like, how am I going to cancel? Like, can I just cancel? Like, am I sick? Like, what am I going to do? How am I going to get out of this? But of course, my higher self is like, no, no, girl, like we're doing this. And also I want to note that I have come very far because I used to be incredibly shy and incredibly embarrassed to be on video and to talk to other people.
00:37:14
Speaker
Before COVID happened, I never was someone who FaceTimed, even like my boyfriend, my closest friends and family, never. Never used FaceTime, never did face video. And then with COVID, I had to adapt and be okay with being on Zoom. And I remember I had joined
00:37:35
Speaker
I think it was like Sahara Rose's Rose Gold Goddesses group I think in like 2019 and I found some friends on there and we I joined a book club and I remember like being so nervous that I would like want to cancel sometimes like on the book club because I was so embarrassed to like show up and just like show my face I hated how I looked I was very insecure I hated how I talked and I just like had a lot of social anxiety and so I remember like
00:38:02
Speaker
going and I pushed myself to go to those calls. And I always ended up leaving feeling so connected to these women and feeling like my heart was so full. And I felt like, wow, I was finding friends. I was finding friends that had similar interests than of me and it felt so good. But every time I did not want to go on those calls.
00:38:22
Speaker
Prior to that, I would sign up for things and I would ghost them. I would legit ghost them and I wouldn't show up because I was so scared to be on video and to talk to other people. Okay? That was only in 2019. What are we now? Like 24? I guess it was like six years ago, but that was like terrifying to me. Then fast forward.
00:38:47
Speaker
to this, like, you know, to that. I led that call, right? So that was like the first time leading a workshop and it went great. And again, I was scared as heck because like I did not feel comfortable on video, but I, all of those, um, like time, all of those calls with that book club, I was starting to put myself out there. I was starting to talk. I was starting to show myself on video and be okay with it. So it was like these little steps that led up to the next thing that led to the next thing. And then I led my own workshop, right? With this community that I'm telling you about.
00:39:17
Speaker
in 2021 or 2022. I forget. So I led that workshop. It went great, even though I was really scared. Then I had my next time to lead a workshop and I led this circle for this, again, big platform. So I did the same thing. I had a great experience from the last one. I was so excited. I prepared for this like a week or two in advance. I knew exactly what I was going to talk about.
00:39:43
Speaker
I looked so pretty. I was so excited. And this time it was going to be a little different because it was going to be a group and it was going to be interactive. So they could interact and ask questions. I wanted them to be interactive. So on the call, I remember I was teaching about manifestation and I was so excited to teach them the laws of manifestation and help them
00:40:06
Speaker
work on something that they wanted to bring into life. And I remember one of the girls, like, she had a question or like she was interacting with me and she was like, Oh, like, I'm sorry, but I everything that you're talking about right now, I think is total bullshit. I don't believe in this. And like, yeah, I just think this is like everything you're saying is bullshit. And I was like,
00:40:29
Speaker
oh my god and so in the moment I'm like wow I just pulled my heart and stole out to you guys I just told you my story told you things that I've manifested now I'm teaching you how to manifest and this is like someone's response to me in front of everybody else watching us on the zoom call and so I was like okay I was like okay I can see how maybe you feel like that and again you guys the thing here is that this was not a spiritual
00:40:58
Speaker
community. I was teaching manifestation to a group of people who might not believe anything about spirituality. They're not open to magic. They're not open to personal growth and development. I don't know where they're coming from, so I'll get inside in a second. But anyways, my response to her was like, okay, well, what is something that you really want to call into right now? And she was talking about how she wanted to
00:41:22
Speaker
get into a master's program. And so I was like, okay, great. We can use my steps of manifestation, um, to get into this master's program. And so like, I walked her through it and I was like, okay, like, do you see how that makes sense? Like how you can use this, like you need to take action and blah, blah, blah. I just like walked her through the steps. And then she's like, okay, like, yeah, I kind of see it, but still, I just think this is all like really stupid. And I was like, okay, like, Hey, everyone's entitled to their own opinion.
00:41:47
Speaker
And I kept like the workshop going. And then afterwards I was immediately mortified, you guys. I was so embarrassed. I think I cried. I think I cried to my mom, to George. And I was like, you guys, I'm so embarrassed. Like I just shared my whole story, taught them about manifestation. And then she told me that she thinks everything I'm saying is bullshit. And I just remember that that scarred me.
00:42:14
Speaker
Like up until that point, I was so excited to teach and to share on Zoom with like random strangers and share myself and share things I'm really excited about and teach and help. And then to have someone tell me that it was like, she doesn't believe in what I'm saying, right? And that it's stupid and bullshit. And so I was just like, I really shut down for a little bit after that, but I still kept showing up. Those were actually reoccurring, um,
00:42:40
Speaker
calls that I was doing, recurring circles that I was leading. And so I continued to do them. But then I realized, you know, into it that, Hey, this actually isn't my audience. Like what I really want to talk about is spirituality. I want to talk about manifestation. I want to talk about personal growth and development purpose, how to change our lives and to, you know,
00:43:04
Speaker
live the best life possible. And this group of people, it was for something completely different, completely different genre, not spiritual at all. And so I realized, oh, I'm just with the wrong audience. It's not that what I have to say is stupid or bullshit. It's just that this person is not open to that. And so when I made that connection, I was able to let that go, even though it was a really good opportunity, but it just wasn't aligned with what I wanted to do anymore. I let that go.
00:43:33
Speaker
And I started stepping into things that I really was excited about in the audience, the people that I wanted to work with. And everything changed, you guys. People were so excited to get readings with me. People wanted to learn about human design. People love hearing about gene keys. They love getting readings. And so it's like,
00:43:54
Speaker
We can stay too long if we're afraid to pivot. And also, we can let these really scary experiences traumatize us and hold us back. Or we can keep going and just see, oh, maybe there's something I can tweak about this. And my thing was that, oh, it's just not the right audience. It's just not the right person that wants to hear this, which is totally fine.
00:44:16
Speaker
And so that is something to keep in mind too when we are sharing spirituality, when we are sharing our gifts, when we're sharing things that is very magical and things that we love so much.
00:44:26
Speaker
It's very important to be invited. It's very important to share with people who are actively looking for these things, because we can be very disillusioned. We want to share this with our family and our partners and anyone who will listen, our best friend, because we're so excited, our coworkers, and they're just like, okay, I don't care, or this is bullshit.
00:44:49
Speaker
they're not our people, you know? And so that can make us feel like, oh, like maybe what I have to say is bullshit or what I have to, what I, my magic is just like not magical. But it's just that it's the wrong audience and it's not something, somebody who's open to it. So that's a huge tip is to keep going, allow yourself to be in situations that are uncomfortable. And on the other side of fear is something so beautiful. It's you finding out something about yourself and how you can alter things.
00:45:19
Speaker
to keep going on your path. So I'm actually super happy that that happened to me because that was like the only most awkward thing that's ever happened in a workshop or in a call like that. And since then I've had many other experiences that have like never been like that. So I was like, I think I needed to feel that to know how to handle it. And I think I handled it really like gracefully and perfectly. And so it was just a good learning experience.
00:45:43
Speaker
Then I wanted to say, so I led a Jean Keys workshop for Emily the Mystics membership a
Passion for Workshops and Sharing
00:45:52
Speaker
couple weeks ago. I think it was like February 12th. And that experience was so fun because you guys, I've never thought about leading my own workshops for my community. But when I had the opportunity to share this magic with her community,
00:46:06
Speaker
who are people who are like into Akashic Records and like channeling and they're into this kind of stuff. They're spiritual people. They were obsessed. Like they loved the workshop. They got so much from it. Again, I felt like I was in my element. I felt like I was with my people and it was like, I was so excited. And when people would ask questions, I was so excited to respond as a generator. And so that experience,
00:46:32
Speaker
what I've learned, my soul has told me is that it wasn't even about that, right? It wasn't even about sharing that, even though that was like really incredible. But that led me to this huge realization of like, I need to have my own workshops. Like I get to teach this to my community, to people who are really excited to learn about the jinkies and human design and
00:46:51
Speaker
how their soul can grow and evolve and just know themselves on such a deeper level. And so that experience, which was, I was so nervous to do. At first I wasn't nervous, but then right before I was super nervous. I was like, Oh my God. Like, I felt like my heart beat, like beating out of my chest and like, um, Emily's so sweet. She like, every call she guides her, um, she guides her community through like a meditation to like ground.
00:47:13
Speaker
And through the meditation, I was trying to breathe and ground myself because I was so nervous because I personally get really freaking nervous before anything that I do. It's just like I've always been like that my whole life, super anxious. But then once I started talking and doing it, I was like, oh, okay, I feel so good. I feel like I'm in my element.
00:47:36
Speaker
gave me so much confidence and clarity to do my own workshops. So it's like, I wasn't even certain what the opportunity was going to move like me into, but now it just gave me clarity that I really want to share this with my own audience. I want to have my own workshops monthly and lead people through the path, the pathways of the jinkies. So I'm super, super excited. I'm going to, um,
00:48:02
Speaker
get those going. So yeah, so again, it's like we never know what certain opportunities are going to lead to, but it just gives us more clarity around what we want and how we want to show up. And so keep saying yes. Keep saying yes to the scary opportunities. Keep saying yes, even when it feels like you're not prepared enough, when you're not ready enough, you're not good enough. You don't know enough. You do know enough. You know so much. I know you know so much. I'm like, I want to like reach in through this screen. I'm looking at the screen as I record it. So obviously like I'm not looking at anything, but
00:48:32
Speaker
I want to reach in and grab you and shake you and tell you, you know enough. You know enough. You're ready. Put yourself out there. Share your voice. Share your experiences. Share your story. Share your magic. You know enough. The world is ready.
00:48:51
Speaker
Step through the fear and freaking do it anyways. And on the other side, you're going to have more clarity around, hey, did this go good? Did this not go good? Okay, if it didn't go good, what can I change? If it did go good, oh my God, great. What did I learn about myself? And you're going to start to have confidence that you can do hard things. I never saw myself as a teacher leading workshops. I just didn't.
00:49:10
Speaker
I thought I could only do one-to-one readings. But after that workshop, I was like, Oh my God, I'm a freaking teacher. I'm going to teach workshops. Why have I never saw this for myself? It's because I never put myself in that position. So sometimes we can't even really see things for ourselves until we just do it. And then we see if we like it or not. Maybe I would have hated that experience and never wanted to do that again. But I realized that I do want to do it again, but for my own community and I want to create my
00:49:40
Speaker
you know, my own stuff. Like I want it to be mine and I want it to be for my people. So yay, I'm so excited. That was like such a cool, like, that was such a cool thing I learned from that experience. So yes. Um, and then you guys, okay, I want to share one other little personal example of how to feel the fear and move anyway. So
00:50:01
Speaker
As you guys know, I am in my Akashic Records training, and tomorrow, you guys, is my last day. I'm about to graduate tomorrow. Tomorrow is our last day. Gotta be up at 4 AM. Really, I have to be up at 340. 340, so that I can get dressed, get my tea, get my water.
00:50:21
Speaker
brush my teeth, go get ready. So anyways, so tomorrow's my last day and then I will be able to start doing Akashic record readings. And so you guys,
00:50:32
Speaker
I have been wanting to practice in between now and tomorrow, my last class. My beautiful friend from the training, one of my beautiful friends, reached out to me and asked if I wanted to practice with her. I actually did a remote reading for her. I opened her records. She had sent me some questions. I did not read them ahead of time because I wanted to give myself, I wanted to see what would come through from the record. I opened her records.
00:50:59
Speaker
I saw what came through, wrote that down, channeled, and then I answered her questions and then I voice noted her, her responses. Before I did that, I was so nervous. My heart was racing. I was like, oh my God, I don't think I can do this. I don't think anything's going to come through. What if it's really hard to do a remote reading without the person in front of me? Wow, I know nothing about this person. How am I going to actually tune into their energy and get any answers?
00:51:28
Speaker
And even though I've been practicing you guys and doing this training for, I think it's been a couple months. I think we started in January, so it's been two months. Even though I've been doing this for two months, and every single time I get so nervous before, but then when I do it, everything comes through. It's like a faucet that turns on and it's just, it's coming. The information's coming, I'm getting it, channeling.
00:51:51
Speaker
But every time I get so nervous and I could hold myself back. I could say, you know what? I don't want to practice. I don't want to do this. I'm not even going to try. I couldn't channel. Oh, there's no way I could do this remotely. Oh, there's no way that anything's going to come through. But instead, I take some deep breaths. I ground myself. You know, I create a safe space where I feel good, have my little rituals and then just say, hey, I gamify it. Let's see what comes through.
00:52:22
Speaker
Hey, maybe if nothing comes through, okay, cool, but what if something did? And I reach in to the possibility of the best case scenario. What if...
00:52:30
Speaker
something comes through. What if really good guidance comes through? And yeah, it came through. Now I haven't talked to her yet to see if it resonated. So I'll be super excited to put that in on the next episode to tell you guys if it resonated or not. But I'm really, really excited and a lot came through. So I just wanted to put that out there that at every level that we go through, we're going to be nervous. We're going to have self-doubt. We're going to have
00:52:55
Speaker
Confusion, we're going to have this need for certainty. Oh, I need to know how it's going to turn out. There's no way you guys that I can know how it was going to turn out to do a remote reading. I've never done it before, so my mind does not even think it's possible. That's why it's so scary, and that's why we hold ourselves back because we don't know how it's going to be. We don't know the how, but we just need to trust, do it, and through experience, you guys, through experience, experiential learning,
00:53:25
Speaker
We figured it out and it was amazing. So thank you guys so much for listening. I hope that this episode served you. I hope there are some little nuggets in there that can really give you that confidence to just keep going. Like do the scary stuff, put yourself out there. We have nothing to lose. We have everything to gain and we are here for a reason and we have
00:53:53
Speaker
important magical things to share in whatever impact in whatever way we want. So I hope you have such a great week.
00:54:01
Speaker
If you would like to schedule a human design or gene keys reading, I will put the link in the show notes. So you can book that in. I'm going to be switching scheduling sites. So I'm going to be switching from Calendly to Acuity. But I'll still put the Calendly link in there until next week. I think it'll be switched over permanently. And then you can start booking through the new scheduling site, which I'm super excited about. It feels really good to switch over.
00:54:29
Speaker
So yeah, okay you guys, I hope you have the best week and I will see you and talk to you, not see you, but I will talk to you next week. Bye bye.
00:54:39
Speaker
Thank you so much for being here and listening beauty. If you enjoyed this episode, please be sure to leave a review and share the episode with a friend who you know will love it. We can connect further on Instagram at I am Alyssa Mae. So come say hello, leave a comment of your favorite takeaway on my most recent post and I cannot wait to connect. Thank you so much and I will see you next time.