Transcript
Speaker: Today is tea. I am chatting with my friend Emily all about metabolism and female libido. Emily is a practitioner who shares my affinity for metabolic culture and she is doing amazing things for the women in her community. Today we hear her story of how low libido led her to studying the metabolism, how she restored hers to full fire with some really simple changes and how you too can see an improvement in this absolutely essential metabolic marker. Buckle up, it's gonna be a good one.
Speaker: Well, Emily, we're so happy to have you here today. Can you start by telling us a little bit about yourself, kind of how you got here, how you got interested in metabolism and hormones and libido and anything else? Tell us a little bit about you.
Speaker: Yeah, so health wasn't really something that was on my radar. I was always a little bit more, like since having kids, I was always a little bit more naturally minded. And I guess you could say crunchy, I guess. But it never really applied so much to metabolism. That wasn't even something on my radar at all. I didn't actually start thinking about metabolism until it was like,
Speaker: 2021 was the year and I had just had my third kid. Well, not just had him. He was almost a year old at this point. and I just had no drive for my husband, like no libido at all. And we were to the point where we were fighting all the time. And basically like roommates living together and it was horrible and I was snapping at my kids all the time I was not the mom I wanted to be super overstimulated all the time starting to feel anxious had all these random symptoms that I had just never really had before and i like I knew that something was wrong and at the time i would think I was eating more of a plant-based diet I was actually like Not drinking any dairy or consuming any dairy at all. I was like doing away with a lot of meat. It was not good. It was so sad. i look back and I'm like, oh, my heart hurts for her. She didn't enjoy anything. yeah um
Speaker: And then not to mention I was... working a job that was like you had to be on twenty four seven direct sales. It was just like nonstop and in front of blue light all the time. And I could go on and on. But I had all these symptoms going on. And then all of a sudden on my Instagram, I saw somebody sharing about like why your periods may be painful. And I was having uncomfortable periods. It wasn't anything super major, but it was enough to pique my interest. And I started looking into what she was talking about. And she's another practitioner. I don't even know if she practices anymore. But um her stuff like opened my eyes. And she recommended the book, How to Heal Your Metabolism by Kate Dearing. Yeah, so good. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. And I was like, so I guess I'll just read this and kind of see what it's all about. And that book completely changed everything. It opened my eyes to everything. And so I started implementing um the stuff that she recommends. That book started reading more stuff from repeat. And within, and want to say it was like six months at that point, like my libido was back and I was pregnant with our fourth baby. So yeah. Awesome. What were the first things that you started doing when you started reading Kate Daring and Ray Peet and all of those metabolically people?
Speaker: Yeah. so the very first thing I implemented was just eating more and eating regularly. Because at that time, my days looked like getting up whenever the kids got up and making them something for breakfast and just kind of going about my day until lunchtime. And then the kids were hungry again. And so I'd make them lunch again. And then by then I'd realize, oh, crap, like I haven't eaten today. I only consumed ah i was drinking almost a full pot of coffee by myself at that point.
Speaker: Do have like heart palpitations? By 2 p.m. No. And it's so funny too because I was like, oh, I only drink black coffee because this is how real people drink it. and Oh my gosh. No, it was not good. So drinking a lot of coffee and then not eating until 2 and even then it was probably just a scrap sop of my kids' lunch plates. Oof.
Speaker: And then somehow figuring out dinner, which was also not very metabolically supportive or healthy or anything. It was probably hamburger helper, like ah just whatever i could make super quick. and doic Right. So I was maybe eating like a thousand calories a day and then so much coffee and it was just horrible. So the first thing I implemented was the eating within an hour of waking.
Speaker: And that changed a lot for me. And it was so funny because I wasn't normally hungry getting, you know, as soon as I'd wake up. Right. But I was like, well, if I just eat something, like let's try it out and just see what happens. So, and my appetite within the next week came back so fast. And I was like, okay, I get it now.
Speaker: I know. I feel like that right there, just eating enough food, eating within an hour. i usually tell people 30 minutes. Cause I'm like, you just, I feel like once you pass the 30 minute mark,
Speaker: people get so like caught up in their mornings that it usually goes longer than what you want it to be. Right. So I, however you do it, if you have the discipline to do it within an hour, awesome. I i definitely aim for 30 minutes now.
Speaker: Beautiful. But that was my starting point. Yes. But all this to say, like, it's such a simple, habit and i don't think people realize how impactful just that one little change is because what you described I think is something that a lot of women really struggle with and it's almost like you have no control of your day like your day is driving you But that one act of like, okay, I'm actually, I'm in control of this day and I am going to feed myself. Like just that one little habit is enough to set you up for better habits throughout the day. Right. don't know if you feel that way. I feel that way. Yeah, absolutely. Well, and it's so funny because looking back at that time, I was like, I need more self-care. I need more self-care.
Speaker: And I was like, oh, I'll go get my nails done. I'll go get my eyelashes done. I'll go, you know, go get a massage or something like that. And looking back, it's like, no, self care at that time, literally was just taking time to eat. And I had no idea. And now that like that, that's all I need is to just make time for myself to eat. And mommy is a happy person.
Speaker: Yes. Legitimately the simplest thing, but I don't know why it's, well, I guess I think I do know why I think it's because we're told that as women, if we want to stay skinny and we want to stay fit, we have to eat less. Like that's just what's driven into us. Even from a young age, I have a vivid memory of being three years old. and I know this because I remember the house that I was in but I was three years old and I was eating a rice cake and like looking at myself in the mirror. And I remember thinking, oh I'm getting fat. I need to stop eating this literally as like an infant, like I was three years old and that was my thinking. And so
Speaker: it just It goes to show how ingrained in us it is that you just need to eat less. like Don't eat much. And it was similar for me. I recently went and like put in chronometer everything that I ate in a day in college because I ate the same thing every single day. Oh, gosh. And it was like maybe 1,200 calories. is...
Speaker: but the kicker is because my degree is exercise science, I was burning 3000 calories by lunch. Like i was plowing through, i was biking 10 miles to school and like i had all these fitness classes and I was just burning through it It's literally no wonder my hair was falling out. My cycles were trash. I had acne and an anaphylactic allergy and like everything was wrong. Totally normal.
Speaker: Like everybody has stuff, right? But I don't think we put together that our symptoms are related. 100%. I had no idea. And especially the libido issues. Like that was the number one driver for me was like, I just like, I don't want to get a divorce from my husband because I have a problem. That's the first off, that feels really shameful for me. And also like, i thought I just don't believe in that. Like that's just not how our marriage rolls. And so I knew myself, like I need to fix whatever is going on deep down somehow. And I had this deep desire to fix it.
Speaker: I just didn't know. I truly had no idea. And so I'm so thankful that that post got shared that one day because I would have had no idea. And so that's why now I am trying to put it out there so more people know because I have so many friends even just that I talk to on a daily basis that struggle with this and don't realize like it's probably because you're not eating enough food or you're not eating enough of the right food.
Speaker: What was it that made you make the jump from, because I know you said the post was on painful periods. So what made you make the jump from that to libido? Did you just start seeing improvements? I mean, I know you said that a couple minutes ago, but did you just start seeing improvements as you started eating more? And then it was like, oh my gosh, this actually all is interconnected.
Speaker: Well, so that same girl that had made the post about painful periods, I went back through a lot of her other posts. And she had shared about like common issues that happen when you're not eating enough food. And one of them was libido. And I was like, oh, ding, ding, ding. That's my problem. I'm not eating.
Speaker: Dang. So can you explain to us then... really what the connection is between metabolism and libido. How how is that tied together? Like explain explain it to me like I'm five. like If I've never heard about metabolism, libido, how they're connected and why we should be paying attention to something like low libido because I know We're told as women, especially women in Christian circles, we're told that women just, we have lower libidos and that's just how it is. And you just got to do it. Even if you don't want to, you know, all of those things, pray more, whatever. um we're Just give
Speaker: Just give in. Yeah. Just, just do it. Like that's your, your command, which that's a whole other conversation, but it's not really helpful for women. We're just stuck thinking, Oh, it's,
Speaker: This is just how it is. We're supposed to have a crappy sex life and just do it and make babies and that's it. And that was the same rhetoric that was being told to me during that entire time. and it was not helpful. I was doing what I could, but like still, like as a woman, as a wife, you just want to have the desire and it just, it it wasn't there. So essentially what happens with your libido, fertility is extremely important. And women don't realize that they think it's just important whenever you want to have a baby and that we need to just push it to the side until then. But fertility is quite literally how you be a woman in her most vital, radiant form. And the best way to support fertility is by giving your body the nutrients it needs. It needs to feel safe. And in order to feel safe, it needs to feel resourced. And so what that looks like is making sure you're eating enough food, making sure you're eating balanced food that isn't going to mess up your blood sugar, it looks like.
Speaker: eating regularly at regular intervals throughout the day and then so many other things I can name like getting enough sunlight and moving your body and and we can get into all that later but I feel like food is has to be the very first place that you start because everything else stems from the food that you eat whether we want to admit it or not you are what you eat quite literally And so when your body feels fully resourced, you are eating enough food to sustain your day-to-day life, whether you're moving or not, doesn't matter.
Speaker: Then your body automatically signals like, okay, we feel safe. We can reproduce now. We can support those hormones. And so that's where it ties into libido is you're not going to have a libido if your body doesn't feel like it's safe enough to reproduce.
Speaker: So whenever I started finally eating enough food, my body was like, oh okay. Hey, we can turn that back on now. Like that switch can be flipped. You can want your husband again. Thank goodness. Again, it's so simple.
Speaker: Like that pathway is so simple. If your body is not properly resourced, it's not going to want or feel like it can sustain another life. And i think what you said is so good and so poignant. Your fertility is important, even if you're not trying to get pregnant, because it it lets us know how our body is operating properly. like how it's handling stress, if we're being resourced appropriately and everything in between. In that same vein, can you explain a little bit more in depth about why libido is one of the first things to disappear whenever someone is not eating enough? Yeah, so your body is focused on surviving.
Speaker: And anything that's outside of just your body surviving gets kind of pushed to the wayside when your body isn't resourced enough, when you're not fueled enough. And sadly, fertility is one of those things that's just not seen as completely necessary for survival. So if you're not taking care of yourself and giving yourself all the resources and minerals it needs to run properly, it's going to say, okay, we just need to like get through to the next day.
Speaker: So we're going to shut down all of this and really just focus on pumping blood through our body and calling it a day. So what would you say to someone who maybe they need to release a little bit of weight and they're really hesitant to eat more? What would you say to them if they do want to improve their libido and they, they understand that they should be eating more,
Speaker: But they're just afraid because yeah they maybe do actually need to lose some weight. Yeah. I talk to a lot of people um about this on a regular basis. And it it like I can understand it's such a hard conversation because the idea of eating more, it can be so scary. Like I was just talking to another girl the other day. She's like, I'm pretty sure that I'm not eating enough food, but I'm so scared too because I don't want to pack on more pounds. Like I'm already not eating. you know She's like, I'm already eating a lot and I'm already gaining a lot of weight. yeah.
Speaker: What I told her and what I would tell anybody else is what happens when your body isn't consuming enough is it's trying to think of it like a bear in the wintertime. You're trying to prepare for hibernation. And so they're going to eat all the food that they possibly can. And then they're going to store all of that fat.
Speaker: So even if it's not a lot of food, they're going to store all of it and hold on to it for as long as they can because your body is sitting there thinking, like, I don't know if I'm going have enough resources to get through the next day. So we're going to store this for a rainy day just in case. And then hopefully we don't need it. But in case we do, it's there.
Speaker: So a lot of times what happens is you have that fat layer that's just kind of sticking around simply because your body doesn't know when it's going to get fuel next. So when you increase the calories that you're eating, and this is something that you'll have to play around with with a practitioner and kind of get an idea of like what feels right for you because this is such a bio individual thing. But once you get to that point and reach it, then your body feels safe enough to release that excess fuel because you've taught it like, oh, I am going to be fed. I am going to be okay. My mineral stores are replenished. I'm getting fueled regularly throughout the day. We feel safe. We can let that go now. And so a lot of people notice a big drop in weight. And if they are not, this is something I've seen a lot recently in the pro-metabolic space. There's a lot of people jumping into it. And if you've never heard of pro-metabolic, I feel like I should clarify this really quick. This is like Ray Peat, that book that I mentioned before, How to Heal Your Metabolism. It's basically just eating foods that are...
Speaker: good for your metabolism essentially and helping it run properly and people get very confused with like weston a price and ray pete and his recommendations on food to eat and stuff like that and think that they can just eat all they want so i can drink all the raw milk i can eat all the sourdough and the butter and all those come at me for the raw milk no no raw milk is absolutely fantastic It's so good. And I agree that you should 100% be able to eat all of those things. But the problem is, is people go all in on that stuff. They go from not eating enough at all, maybe eating 1200 calories a day to all of a sudden eating like 2500 calories of just straight butter and bread and cheese and milk and red meat and all this.
Speaker: And they start gaining weight. And they're like, wait, but I'm doing all of this, right? What do you mean I'm eating more? And so that's where... practitioners are really helpful in this case, but also just being mindful of macro balancing and kind of keeping an eye on that. So I wanted to just kind of add in that little caveat. there No, totally following my brain wavelength, whatever. I was going to ask you that same thing. Cause I see that a lot where people actually do, they, they take the concepts and it's, it's kind of sexy, right? Like being able to eat whatever you want. And I can understand how that's
Speaker: really enticing if maybe you're you've been really restricted for a long time. But I think that's the same pattern that I've seen with people who jumped into the pro-metabolic. I think that's probably the problem in general is people viewing it as a diet. They're like, well, the diet is I'm going to just eat, eat, eat, eat more, which yes, you need to eat more. But even if you increase your calories, if you're doing too much too fast, like of course you're going to gain weight.
Speaker: of course. So like whenever I'm working with clients, we, like you said, everybody's different, but I think baseline is usually one hundred calories a week is what we try to it. And we watch very closely to things like, you know, your temperature, your pulse, your mood, your libido, your digestion, all of those things. And my goal is for them to see those things improve without gaining weight. That's the first step. Because especially if you need to release weight, like we've got to lay a foundation, right? Can't just expect your body to release weight when all of your other systems are shut down. It's exactly like you said, you're going hold on to the fat if you're afraid of famine again, because it's going to keep you alive during famine. So yeah, I think it's crazy. I'm glad that more people are talking about that in the online space now, because i feel like it has not really been talked about because it's just eat more, eat more, eat more, which yes, Well, it makes sense because we're coming from diet culture that we grew up with that we saw our moms do.
Speaker: And now we're like, oh, wait, so we don't have to eat just celery sticks? Yes. Like we can actually eat more than that. And it like it and so it makes sense that we're doing this complete 180 and all of a sudden scarfing down all these super calorie dense foods.
Speaker: Yes. Super fat dense foods also. That's the kicker is people like it's the sourdough and the butter. Like those are great and super nourishing. But people like hit hard on the carbs and the fat. And it's like, well, those are those are gonna give you a lot of energy. And you're gonna feel probably really good. but we got to get some protein in there. We got to get some more minerals. We gotta, to you know, yeah, it's got to have more to it than just that.
Speaker: Yes. Yeah. he can't live. Well, I guess the Bible does say man can't live on bread alone. But can you? Bread of life. I don't know. it's There's a debate to be had here.
Speaker: Right. I'm going to have to go drink a cup of tea over that one later. When it comes to libido specifically, how exactly can, other than increasing our calories and things like that, how exactly can we improve our metabolism to help increase our libido? And what are things that we should be looking for as we do that? Yeah, so I feel like I'm going to be a little bit of a broken record here because I am going to give a lot of the same recommendations to the same people for the exact same thing over and over again. Because the reality is that the foundation's
Speaker: work. And, and I don't say that just because like, oh I've tried and tested this and I know it works. Like, no, this is literally just like how humans were created to be. And so this is what we need to thrive. And so number one is again, making sure you're eating in enough food.
Speaker: What this looks like is it, in my opinion, I'm sure every other practitioner is going to say something different. I feel like you would agree with me though, like 2000 calories a day minimum for a grown woman. yeah i I also was a kinesiology major. I had an exercise science degree. So right there with you. yeah i did a sports nutrition certification throughout college.
Speaker: And it was great. Like I learned so much. It definitely established the foundation for me on what to eat and what not to eat and stuff, I guess. um But even then, the equation that they use to help you find your BMR and everything, it they didn't They explained what BMR was, but I guess it didn't like fully penetrate in my brain exactly what that means. Your basal metabolic rate is literally just what you need to lay in bed and not die, essentially. And a lot of people take that number and run with it. And I'm a small person. I am 5'3", 5'4", on a good day. When I'm not pregnant, I'm 125 pounds healthy. like I'm a small, petite person. My BMR is like 1,400 calories a day yeah And that's like, that's not a lot. And then I'm 90% of the time breastfeeding and chasing around children and doing all kinds of things a day. And that was not stuff that we were taught to factor in, really. and In fact, it was just kind of like automatically assumed that that's just included.
Speaker: And if you want to lose weight, then you go into a deficit and you go less than that BMR, which is just... Absolutely horrendous. Trash. Yeah. Oh my gosh. It's tragic. um And so oh like I'm a small person.
Speaker: Normal people are probably taller and way more than me. Your BMR is going to be higher. And again, that's just for surviving. That's for rolling over and turning off your alarm.
Speaker: That's not even for putting your feet down on the ground and walking to the bathroom because the bathroom, like that burns energy at that point. You have to increase your caloric needs. So yeah, I say 2,000 calories a day for women at minimum.
Speaker: So that's number one. Number two is eating frequently throughout the day, especially because a majority of women are not eating regularly throughout the day in general. A lot of people are like me where you're not eating your first meal until 2pm and then you're maybe having dinner and that's it.
Speaker: So you need to be eating within an hour of waking. Depending on a client's symptoms, I'll recommend eating every three hours. Some people can stretch to four. Just kind of depends on the person and what feels right for you. I'm pregnant right now. I'm 30 weeks.
Speaker: I'm eating every two hours right now. yeah but and But that's what my body needs right now. So you kind of just have to listen to your energy cues and see what you need. And like you mentioned earlier, like your body temperatures and everything else, like keep an eye on that stuff to have a good idea of what your body needs. And a lot of this is going to sound really daunting at first because you're like, what do you mean what my body needs? What is that what does that even mean?
Speaker: mean Because we are so detached from our our body's cues. So the beauty of this, of starting to eat more and starting to recognize how you feel, is you're going to get so much more in tune with your body. And it that just develops so much confidence you in you in a whole other way, to be honest. So that was just an aside. So that's number two.
Speaker: And then number three, making sure you're moving throughout the day. And I'm not just talking about going and like – getting a workout in for two hours and then sitting on your butt the rest of the day. I'm talking like regular steps throughout your day.
Speaker: i know everybody says like 10K steps a day, whatever. I don't care. Just get up and walk after your meals or whatever. Get some strength training in Ideally, it's something that's not going to be super stressful to your body like HIIT or long distance running or anything like that. um And then the fourth thing is going to be sunshine like sunlight on your skin on your bare eyes whatever you can handle you need to be getting morning sunlight and you need to be getting evening sunlight and it's not just because it's going to keep you tan but because your circadian rhythm dictates a lot of what happens with your hormones So and it it also dictates like your hunger cues and stuff like that. So you're somebody who wakes up and you're not hungry within 30 minutes of waking, go outside and go put your naked eyeballs in the sun. And then tell me that you don't feel hungry afterwards because it does wonders. I had a client recently, i mean, it makes sense, but I've never heard an experience like this, but we were chatting and the week prior, like she was going into a really stressful week. And so we had strategized on things to do, like going into a stressful week. And I was like, just be sure you're still getting your sunshine, right? Like even with the really stressful week, be sure that you're still getting sunshine. And she came back the next week and she was like, okay, so this day that was particularly stressful, i woke up and generally on stressful days, I won't have a bowel movement. Like I'll just be too like too stressed to poop. And she was like, but I went outside and I kid you not, I was outside for three minutes and I got the urge to poop and I had one of my best poops ever. Like just flying outside. And was like, yes, yes. Amazing. Yeah. But we don't think about like our bodies are meant to be in sync with nature, right? And the sun tells it's like every system in the body has an internal clock. I mean, it's not like it is. It is. Everything operates at different times. All of our systems aren't running at all times, all of the time. And what tells the time? The sun.
Speaker: And tells our organs the what to do. So i just think that's fascinating. Yes. I love eating enough and eating food. That's honestly so freeing. And also doing those things, like you said, moving your body, getting strength training, getting sunshine, like all of these other things that increase our basal metabolic rate as well. I feel like it can sound like a lot when you get started, but then it becomes part of who you are.
Speaker: It just becomes habit. And then it's like, it's not that hard. You're like, oh, this is how it was made to be. Like, this comes so natural. You just have to, like, work yourself back into it again and remind yourself. I mean, think about your toddler. Your toddler wants to eat breakfast and then go run outside.
Speaker: That's true. Yeah. We can learn a lot from kids, actually. 100%. know exactly what they need. theyre like They flip upside down, and they run around in the sunshine, and they don't want to wear shoes. and they I don't know. like My kids, I watch what they eat and what they're craving.
Speaker: They're so smart. They're so incredibly smart. like Before bed, they love to eat a protein-rich, carb-rich dinner. But in the middle of the day, they just want carbs all day long. And for the longest time- Because they're it so much. Right. And for the longest time, i was like, why are we going through all the berries so fast all the time?
Speaker: And now it's like, it makes sense. Y'all are out running around. You need fast fuel and carbohydrates are going to give you that fast fuel. Like y'all are so smart. yeah You know what you need. Yeah. It's, it's only when intuition has been trained out of us, right? Like we're kids, we know things. I try to do that too. I do, I do have a, I have a balance with my kids because they really are psycho if they only eat carbs. I'm like, i know there's a trend with on instagram where it's like just let your kids eat whatever they desire and it's like okay i'm not let my kids run on carbs and rage like that's they're gonna learn about blood sugar they know about insulin and like how about a beef stick with that yes sardines that's our go-to is a can of sardines like You want all of the dates? My three-year-old loves dates. Like that's just his, don't know why he loves dates. I mean, they're delicious and sweet and all the things. So of course he loves them. But I'm like, you have everything.
Speaker: Yeah, you gotta have some cheese, something to go with it or else you're psycho, you know? 100%. So circling back, because I feel like we're going all over the place. Libido is just not like, I realized this even with my own story, like that just wasn't even on my radar as a symptom.
Speaker: That wasn't even a marker that I was paying attention to. Like I was paying attention to my cycles, was tracking my cycles, which weren't very regular and were uncomfortable and stuff. But, and we're told a lot of symptoms are, common when really they're just normal or they're normal, but yeah, opposite. yeah i said gay Yeah. We're told they're normal when really it's just happening to everybody and then it's not normal at all.
Speaker: So I was dealing with a lot of that, but I like libido was not something that I was told or ever taught. That was something that can be related. Like, Oh, there's, there's something wrong here. Like I knew innately that not having a good functioning libido was a problem but also I just heard from so many other women in my life whether they be you know friends of mine that were also married or like listening to my mom and her friends talk growing up of like you know oh he he wanted to do this again like like not for me I'm gonna have to turn him down again like and like even just friends of mine saying how much they dread it and it just got so
Speaker: It's so sad. It's so sad. And I mean, even looking back at I have apologized to my husband so many times. Like, I am so sorry that you had to be married to that because that must've been so hard to not feel like you were wanted and desired and loved in that way. When i so badly wanted to, and it just wasn't like my body did not have the capacity to do it.
Speaker: And so it got so normalized that that that's just a thing. Like we're told, Almost. But like you were saying earlier with like Christian culture, even we're told that it's, it's basically just how marriage goes.
Speaker: Like the woman just doesn't want to anymore. And the man wants to all the time. And that's just it. And it like, you just have to put out and it's fine. and And that's not how it has to be at all. I think that's actually what drew me to your content at first, whenever I've, I've first found you.
Speaker: and started following you was, oh you made a post about like having sex with your husband. And I was like, yes, somebody else gets it. Like they understand. And at that point I had already had my fourth baby, was probably pregnant with my fifth at that point. Like I had already been well along on this journey and understood, but still nobody else was like really talking about it in this kind of a way. So whenever I found you, i was like, yes, kindred spirit.
Speaker: So awesome. I didn't know that. but That's what got you following. That's so funny. Cause I feel like I had a similar story and thankfully like I started learning more about the metabolism who started going into Ray P his, have you read the female hormones in context? That's the one of them. Have you read that one? It's like so freaking fascinating.
Speaker: I haven't yet, but I'm pretty sure it's on my list of books that supposed to be reading for the course that I'm taking. So, okay. i need toll be soon I need to know if they have, because it hasn't been in print for a really long time, but I found it all online. Like a lot of his books are not in print anymore. I noticed that. noticed that.
Speaker: Which I have a conspiracy about that, but I found them all on like some archived repeat website or something, but progesterone and orthomolecular medicine, and then the female hormones in context.
Speaker: fascinating Connected a lot of dots. Because I learned, you know, like the degree that we got, you probably have a heavy emphasis on anatomy and physiology. Like you understand we had to learn how the endocrine system worked. We had to learn all of these things. But we're not really taught how, not necessarily to put everything together But I just feel like it was so incomplete, right? like Yeah. very We're taught the allopathic way where it's like, okay, like you have this system and then you have this system and this system doesn't have anything to do with this ah system. Or like we're almost taught to infer that because of the fact that we're taught it also separately and not how anything is intertwined in any way, shape or form. See, I feel like I was lucky because i actually was taught in school that every system is interconnected, right? And that was one of my light bulb moments of, okay, why are we being taught that every system is interconnected, but why are we not treating the body as every system as interconnected? And I started realizing like everyone that I was in school with, you know, we were all going to some kind of medical profession. That was, that was what we were doing. And and like, why is it that doctors have this same foundational education? Like everyone that is going to medical school are getting these same classes that I'm getting.
Speaker: But then once you get that label, you're no longer operating from the fact that the body is an integrated source, which I read the book recently, Good Energy by Casey and Callie Means. Have you that yet? That's a good one.
Speaker: So good. And she explained it from a physician's perspective, which makes sense. Like when you go into the medical field, you're going to specialize. So of course, you're only going to be looking at a very specific part of the body because that's, that's the system. You are moving through the medical schooling system to specialize in something very, very, very minute.
Speaker: Right. So that gave me a little bit more of an idea of why that's It is that way. But anyways, I got off on this whole thing. I started learning about repeat. It was about a year into my marriage. And that first year was so hard because I was like, this sucks. Like everybody says that sex is awesome and so fun and I'm miserable. Like I'm in pain. I don't want it I...
Speaker: Later, i guess it was the next year, it took us almost a year to conceive our first baby. And then we miscarried. And i was just like, what the heck? Like, there's got to be more than this. And same thing, like after we miscarried, and I started just diving into all of the things, and my system started coming back on, I was like,
Speaker: heck yeah this is what I'm talking about and I go through seasons where it's like I know I'm not resourcing enough because it's like okay I am so overstimulated at all times like I need to take a step back because I've got small kids and that's that's a lot like but I think again a lot of women just don't put two and two together. And I think the Christian circle has done a severe disservice to women because the women that I was talking to in that first year of marriage, it was the same thing. Like, oh, this is just, this is your lot in life. Like, this is going to be the next 60 years. Like, just pray. And, you know, this is just, even if you don't want to, just do it.
Speaker: Like, that's just, that's your job as a woman. Just do it. And it'll get better. I'm like, Well, it wasn't getting better and something's got to change. And so how fun that we can talk to women that really do desire and want to have sex and want to enjoy it and give them a little bit of hope. Like, actually, there are things that you could do.
Speaker: Like, yes, you should be praying. Yes, you should be connecting with your husband in other ways other than just physical intimacy. Yes, there should be, you know, more to the relationship. And also,
Speaker: maybe your body just needs a little bit more resources to come back online And actually want to get freaky. Yes. And that's always what I hear, especially from, I mean, I talk to a lot of moms. Most of my friends are moms.
Speaker: Most of the like practice clients that I've been taking on have been moms. And that's the number one thing is they're always like, I'm just too overstimulated. have too much on my plate. Like, and I even, um I shared a post recently that somebody had made talking about how like foreplay doesn't start At 1042, when you, you know, reach over and grab her, boom, it starts at. Yeah, so good. Yeah, it was so good. And I don't know if you read all the slides on it. Like the entire post was absolutely amazing. She was talking about basically the husband having to take off the mental load of the woman before she even has to ask for it.
Speaker: And while I love that point so much, and I completely agree with it, that, you know, there, there should be a little bit of that happening. Like that, that's foreplay for us taking things off of our plate acts of service. I mean, you can't be a mom and not have a love language of acts of service to some extent. Yes. it' certain That's just how it is. But also in that same vein, if we're resourcing ou ourselves well and we're feeding ourselves and feeling ourselves and getting the sunlight and getting the movement and all of the things and our mitochondria are just like buzzing with happiness, then our capacity grows to be able to handle that.
Speaker: Extra thing like it doesn't feel like ah the way that I used to view sex was like it's just another thing to add on to my to do list. And now it's like, I have so much energy now that I, I want to, even with all of these other things that are on my plate, like I want to now.
Speaker: yeah So if we just feed ourselves, even said, when I shared that post, like husbands, if you really want, you know, really want to get your wife going, make sure she eats yes because that's really all we need. they Women were created. I mean, you hear people talking all the time about living the soft life and, you know, you know, all of this stuff. And what like, I agree with it. Women were created to be well-fed and frolic in the sunshine. When you get down to it, really, it's like we need to be fed and we need sunshine. And and honestly, that's that's pretty much it.
Speaker: And then we can create and then we can do. Because then you actually have the capacity to do things. i'm I'm in a program right now and it was talking about like that being one of the telltale markers of clients that you're working with. is are they able to actually create? Like if they're not able to create, if they're not able to do their hobbies, there's an issue like and there's an energy issue that needs to be addressed. And I think you're exactly right. Because I thought the same thing when I read that post. like thinking through just my personal relationship, my husband is amazing. Like it actually shocks me that not all husbands are like this. Like he does so much around the house. He does so much with the kids, like even working 60 hour weeks, he is very, very involved in all of the things. And I just think about that and like how
Speaker: in seasons where if I am not eating enough, even though he's doing all of those things, it's still like, ah, this is just another thing that I have to do. Because I think we over, and don't want to say catastrophize. I don't think that's right word, but we kind of amplify our quote unquote sufferings. If that makes sense when we don't feel good, right? When you don't have an energetic capacity, everything that's small, that's really actually not a big deal. Right.
Speaker: becomes so much bigger because it actually does feel like you are doing more when maybe you're, you're not, maybe you're just living like a normal human doing the things that a normal mom does. And you're just, I mean, you can't expect a car to run optimally if there's no gas in the tank and the oil hasn't been changed in a year.
Speaker: Like it's just, it's not going to happen. It might run and it might be okay. But it's going to break down eventually. You got to fill up the car. And so that's my favorite analogy. It's the car analogy. Well, and it's so fun too. um I say fun. Fun is not the right word for this. But like I can scroll through Instagram or TikTok and and I can't spot metabolic dysfunction from a mile away. Oh, hell. Just by like your daily vlog that you post.
Speaker: if you If you shared about like how badly your kids were overstimulating you today or anything like that or like dealing with your anxiety or it it it can be any number of things like in my mind and I know you you should never judge a book by its cover. Yeah. Oh, I judge you so hard. But like, I just, and it's not even from a place that's like, ooh, that girl needs to eat. But it's like, like you need to you i just wish you knew. Like, yeah you don't, because you're right. We do. um Yeah. Like what you said, you amplify all of the emotions that are around it, which
Speaker: Makes sense when you think of it from a physiological standpoint, like that's actually quite literally what's happening is all the stress hormones are going crazy inside of you and your body doesn't know what to do with it. So it comes out as overstimulation and anxiety and lack of capacity and whatever other crazy number of things are out there.
Speaker: And it's like, if you just ate, if I wish you just like, can I give you a steak and some potatoes, please? Yes. Yes. Or steak and orange juice. That's my goal. Oh my gosh. Yes. Like get me a big fat ribeye and a glass of orange juice. Steak and strawberries also. um yeah Okay. Highly recommend.
Speaker: This is tea. i have never done steak and strawberries before. Yes, I mean, you need a crap ton of strawberries, I'll say that. But it's like the perfect sweetness to pair with the salty of the steak. It's very good. Ooh, okay. So when they're in season again, highly recommend. Yeah. this is news. I'm actually excited about this.
Speaker: I love it. I can't wait for the summer um the summer fruit season. Oh, it's the best. I'm also like, just a little aside, i have, i don't know, maybe...
Speaker: eight ish pounds left to release after my last pregnancy. And I'm just waiting for the sun to come out and to get all that fresh fruit. Cause I know going to be so hot once
Speaker: It's going to be great. Yeah, I can burn up all of that energy, that extra stored for the winter hibernation. Right. You're like, babe, I'm just keeping it on right now just because like you you just wait. you Yeah, just wait. I'm to be so hot this summer. When the sun's up, I got some steak in OJ and we're thriving. Let me tell you. It's all a girl needs in life, truly.
Speaker: Legitimately. I know. I was thinking today about how, unfortunately for my husband, when we got married, i only drink water, and I pretty much only ate like chicken breast, broccoli, and sweet potatoes. And now I have much more expensive taste. I require ample stores of ribeyes and my milk has to be raw. And, you know, I like to get a little latte treat every now and then. So he didn't know what he was getting. He thought he was getting a cheap, you know, date for the rest of his life. But things have changed. And then you factor in how many calories a day that you have to eat and how many calories are that he has to eat.
Speaker: And then you look how many calories a day your kids should be eating. And you're oh, this is why groceries is our biggest line. I know next to our mortgage and and our budget. It has to be. But if you're going to prioritize health, I mean, which you should be because, you know, living is kind of cool.
Speaker: Yeah. Feeling good is kind of cool. Like enjoying your life. It's kind of cool. it's It's so worth it. It's so worth it. Even if that looks like having to pare down a little bit, whether it be like not getting the organic stuff or whatever, like you're still going to be eating a lot of food and it's okay to prioritize that.
Speaker: Yes. Yes. I know. We've had so many seasons where we've like cut down so many things just so we can be buying enough food for all of us to be eating. and we actually like a couple of years ago stopped paying for wifi because we were just like, you know what? We just, that's just one more thing on our budget. And Even right now, like I'm on hotspot on my phone. so we still just, even though now our income is more stable, we still just never started paying for wifi again. Cause we're like, well, we've been fine without it for so many years. We'll just continue to do without it. And I'm smart, but that money will try that.
Speaker: It's, it's things like that. Like, I feel like people get caught in their heads. It's like, oh, there's no way I could even afford to eat that much. Well, you probably can. It's not expensive to buy a bag of potatoes. It's like six bucks at Costco for 10 pounds of potatoes. That'll feed a family of five for a week. Like not it's not that expensive and you probably can find the money in your budget.
Speaker: Yeah, absolutely. You just have to make it a priority. People want the quick fix. And so they think that being healthy means like, and maybe they don't even view it as a quick fix. I should probably preface with that because we're just taught like being healthy is having a whole bunch of supplements. Because that's what we need to do now when really like, you just need to eat real food. Because fun fact, all the supplements that you're trying to buy and spend $800 a month on they're they're They actually come from your food first. Yes. um and Your body's actually going to absorb it and use it better when it comes from your food instead of from that pill capsule thing that you're taking over and over again.
Speaker: I know. I wish I could go back and slap myself because i we literally were spending maybe $600 a month on supplements and our grocery bill was $200 a month. Like that right there is Red flag Yes, red flag. We're not eating enough. No wonder I had no libido and I felt like crap and my periods were trash and all of the things. Like that's what I love about this philosophy so much because it brings so much hope and there actually is so much freedom. yeah There are things that you can do, especially when you're feeling so bad and you want answers. Like there are things that you can do to feel better. Usually it starts with just eating enough freaking food. Don't have to overcomplicate it.
Speaker: Right. And a lot of it doesn't cost you a whole lot of extra money, to be honest. Like, yeah, maybe you're going to spend a little bit extra on groceries, but like sunlight's free, moving your body's free. You're going to cook for yourself anyways. Just pick a smarter options. Like you don't need a thousand supplements. You don't need red light therapy device. You don't need a vibration plate like You don't need all these things. And that's, that's a big thing that I'm trying to get across on my platform too, is like you, you have everything you need to get started right now. All the other fun stuff. Yes. It's, it's great. May you want to include some supplements in the future? Sure. After you do some testing and see if you need it
Speaker: Red light therapy device. Also fantastic to have on hand, but not a necessity. because there's red light in the sunmon Exactly. Walk outside. problem solved Yes. So, you know, all of these things you can do with what you have right now. Like God literally created it that way for a reason. and you're like, oh he gave us all the things we need. Imagine that. It's almost like he cares about us. know. I shall not want. Wow.
Speaker: I've really enjoyed this conversation. Tell us how we can find you. Tell us what it is that we can do with you, how we can work with you, how my audience can work with you, what the best mode of communication is for you. Yeah, for sure. So best place to find me is going to be Instagram. I'm on TikTok too, but not like...
Speaker: super active. Instagram is going to be the place to find me. um And my Instagram handle is at Mrs. dot Emily Leslie, MRS. Emily Leslie. um And then below so people can find you. Thank you. And then i am currently pregnant right now and also taking a practitioner course. I will be integrative metabolic wellness practitioner come April, which is exciting. So I'll be able to run a whole bunch of testing if necessary and taking on clients and all that but I'm also due with a baby in April so I'll be taking a maternity leave and then starting at some point in the summertime to open up my books to take on clients one-on-one
Speaker: Beautiful. That's so exciting. Well, I know that your Instagram page has so much education and information that people can glean from too. So we'll be sure to shuttle people. Everyone needs to go follow her because I i don't know how long I've been following you. been a long time.
Speaker: And you've just always had such great things to share. And I've really appreciated this conversation. I feel like we've gone all over the place, but in a good way. Can't really talk about libido without also talking about all of the other things, because like we've said, everything is so intertwined. So like I love when it ping pongs and we yeahp get to a good place. But everyone go give Emily a follow and glean from all of her education. And we'll see you on next week's episode.
Speaker: If you found this podcast helpful, I'd love for you to take literally two seconds, hit the subscribe button and leave a review. Doing so helps to get this podcast seen by more people who need to hear it. Thank you so much again for listening and we'll see you next week.
