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Third Trimester: What's Worth Doing... and What's Just Internet Noise with Lo Mansfield @TheLaborMama
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Episode 92: If you've spent even five minutes on pregnancy TikTok, you've probably wondered: should I be bouncing on a birth ball every night? Do dates actually help? Can I sleep on my back? Do I really need every prenatal appointment? Should I hire a doula? And is there anything that actually helps labor start? This week Miss Beth sits down with labor and delivery nurse, educator, and creator behind The Labor Mama, Lo Mansfield, to separate evidence from internet hype and answer the questions real moms sent in. Whether you're expecting your first baby or your fourth, this conversation is full of practical, reassuring information that will help you feel informed, not overwhelmed.
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
- What an anterior placenta actually means
- Why sleeping on your back becomes a topic during pregnancy
- The third-trimester trends all over social media, and whether they're worth doing
- The truth about birth balls, curb walking, dates, and raspberry leaf tea
- Breech babies and when an external version makes sense
- Why some people choose an epidural, and why others don't
- Why many women over 35 are prescribed baby aspirin
- How to advocate for yourself at prenatal appointments without feeling "annoying"
- The questions every pregnant person should ask their provider
- Whether you can actually predict when labor is coming
- Pushing positions, closed-glottis vs. spontaneous pushing, and your birth options
- What may (and may not) help reduce tearing
- Whether hiring a doula is worth it
- Which childbirth classes are actually worth your time
- Mental prep, breathing techniques, and staying calm before birth
- Lo's favorite labor advice and what she wants every pregnant woman to know
As always, we wrap up with our favorite question: what are you reading right now?
TOPICS
third trimester · labor and delivery nurse · evidence-based pregnancy · anterior placenta · birth ball · curb walking · raspberry leaf tea · external cephalic version · breech baby · epidural · baby aspirin pregnancy · prenatal appointments · doula · childbirth classes · pushing positions · perineal tearing prevention · labor preparation
CONNECT WITH LO MANSFIELD
Follow Lo and learn more from her evidence-based pregnancy and birth education at @thelabormama.
If this episode helped you feel more confident about pregnancy or labor, share it with a friend who's expecting. And if you're enjoying Play on Words, leaving a rating and review is one of the best ways to help more parents find the show.
ABOUT THE HOST
Beth Gaskill (Miss Beth) is a reading specialist, early childhood educator, and founder of Big City Readers. She helps parents support their children's literacy development through research-backed, science of reading strategies.
Follow Miss Beth on Instagram @BigCityReaders
Browse Big City Readers resources at BigCityReaders.com
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Transcript
The Importance of Understanding Epidurals
00:00:00
Speaker
if your thing is, I would really like to do this without an epidural. Well, then I would actually say, I want you to learn about an epidural. I want you to learn why they're suggested. I want you to learn why people do and don't want them. I'd like you to learn about best timing for them. I'd like you to learn about other labor tools. Because if you're saying that one is off the table for me, well, then what are the other 12 that you're going to utilize? And how are you going to utilize those? And so I think once you have that maybe ideal scenario in your head, That kind of shows you where to lean in. Play Onwards! Play Onwards!
Introduction to Guest: Lo Mansfield
00:00:34
Speaker
This is Play Onwards from Big City Readers.
00:00:38
Speaker
And this Beth. Hello and welcome back to the Play On Words podcast. I'm so excited today to be joined by Lo Mansfield. She's a labor and delivery nurse, educator, mom, creator behind The Labor Mama, but she's really known for making um evidence-based birth information feel approachable and practical and empowering rather than scary, which is what I need right now. So I hope if you are a person that needs that, you will find this um episode helpful. Lo, I'm so happy you're here.
00:01:14
Speaker
Thank you for having me. i was just telling you, congrats, I know, but I feel like you snuck your pregnancy in on all of
Navigating Personal Content Online
00:01:20
Speaker
us. We're like, what? You're having a baby? Yeah. I did. And then I also never put it on my feed. I only put it stories. So like people will still message me like, what did I miss? And I write ah do you ever feel like this? Well, no, your your content, you put out so much content, so you probably don't feel like this. But I'm always like, it has to be a perfect announcement if I do it on the feed and not the story. And then I just don't end up doing it. so say I do feel like that more and more lately. like years ago, I made the decision to not show my children. And that was a thing that had changed as, you know, the space grew. So I just think that it it becomes more of this, like, how do I do this? Well, like, how do I do this without my children? Because they're around all the time. So I actually do think there's a lot of overthinking. And then you end up
00:02:06
Speaker
like for me, ended up just not doing stuff sometimes. Like
Evolving Social Media Perceptions
00:02:10
Speaker
the the feed feels easier to me, but the story sometimes, like the real life, I'm like, I'm busy and I'm with my kid. Like i that one feels harder for me almost. So like almost the reverse. But also I think we we do live in a world now where it's less so about the perfect pregnancy announcement, which I love, right? Because it used to be so curated and it's still really sweet when you want to do that. But I feel like we've gotten away from that a little bit or more like,
00:02:36
Speaker
Tell us how you want to when you want to. And that's your prerogative. I think people have gotten better. I also like don't share my family on. So like some people will be like, I didn't even know you had or like in a relationship. exactly Exactly. There was actually like this. I saw this one like thing that was that I wanted to do. It's just like we're because I don't show their faces, our 13 year old or.
00:03:00
Speaker
Andy. So I was like, oh, there's this one that's just like you show like, you know, if if we were having another baby, there'd be signs and it's like two pairs of shoes and the baby shoes. And so I was talking to our 13 year old about doing that. And then she's she was like, yeah, we could do like all of our sunglasses. And she's like a bro and wears these like baseball sunglasses. That could be confusing. Right.
00:03:21
Speaker
And he's like, well, the people will think we have a 19 year old son. exactly. So I'm just like, you know what? Surprise for all of us. Yeah. regard i I really wanted to be one of those
'Hard Launching' a Baby on Social Media
00:03:31
Speaker
people. And I actually read about this. I wonder if you've seen this where like they just are like hard launch the baby.
00:03:37
Speaker
I read an article about it. I bet we read the same article a couple of months ago. Because people are like scared of like people's opinions. And like, there's just like a lot of reasons. I can't remember why else people were saying that. Like the judgment and they were like, there they felt like internet unsafe or something. Like there was just a lot of reasons. But I just felt like it was starting to show on my face. And I had to tell people. Yeah, I know. I do think if you have any sort of forward facing platform, you have to know. if you chose not to share and just suddenly have a baby, that you have to know that people are going to be talking. And so you'd have to be okay with that or you just tell them. Yeah,
Lo Mansfield's Personal and Professional Journey
00:04:12
Speaker
you have to pick.
00:04:13
Speaker
so Yeah. yeah Yeah. Well, okay. So I put up a question box when I told people that you were coming and people had a lot of questions and they were also the questions I had. So I'm very glad that I don't just have to be the one that asks these questions. But will you tell us before we jump in why you are the expert, how you got here and and all that jazz about you? whatever you want to share.
00:04:34
Speaker
For sure. So I worked in LDRP, which is labor delivery, recovery, postpartum, straight out of school. So that's where I spent all my career at the bedside, which I'm not at the bedside right now. So I say that like I spent my time at the bedside. I've had my kids like there was this interplay between the two and now I'm doing stuff. purely online while I raised my four kids. So I have four kids. So have gotten to be pregnant a few times and have birth a few times. So got the personal experience as well along the way of what it's all like. So I did LDRP, which means labor delivery recovery postpartum.
00:05:05
Speaker
I personally think if y'all could choose an LDRP unit, they're the best because you don't move from a labor floor to a postpartum floor. You stay in your room. So like if you needed a C-section, we take you to OR, we bring you back to your room. We don't have PACU, which is where we recover you after. Like you just stay in your room. You have one home your whole few days that you're in the hospital. So I just think it's really cool and you get really cool continuity of care.
00:05:28
Speaker
So I bring that up to say like I got to take care of people a part of triage labor and postpartum and I should say, our surgical stuff and postpartum. So really got the full spectrum of care for you from you know, even 16, 17, 18 weeks if they sent you up to us all the way until we sent you home. So I just think it was a really cool way to learn and grow and become an OB nurse because a lot of times you're, i mean ah I'm air quoting, just a labor nurse or just a mom-baby nurse because those are often separate. I'm just really grateful that I got to learn and do and grow in all of it because,
00:06:03
Speaker
So much of it is tied together, right? So it just feels, yeah, it just felt really special to take care of some patients from admit all the way to discharge a few days later because we would say, hey, like, can I have her back? I want to deliver her this morning. hey can I have her back? I delivered her yesterday. I want to send them home. So just some sweetness like that. So I just love that part of LDRP. And I feel like patients have got to love that part too.
00:06:28
Speaker
So yeah, and then I started having my own kids in the midst of that, eventually ended up staying home with the kids. And I mentioned i already have four right now. So they range in age from about two to nine. And then just missed being with this OB population. So started getting online like so many others during like 2020, 2021, and just thought like, I love this so much.
Making Birth Information Accessible
00:06:51
Speaker
Maybe if I talk about it, someone will want to let me word vomit about OB stuff all the time. And so the internet is the place for that.
00:06:59
Speaker
I love that your content, I think like the first thing I saw from you was, i started following you before I was pregnant because you were like funny. i liked that it was not just like intense, like you like you would just like reshare a clip and be like, oh, this is funny. This can happen after you give birth. Not like this might happen and you're going to have to be rushed to the emergency, like where I feel like that happens so much on the internet where it's just like so much fear-based.
00:07:24
Speaker
information, which is like great in one way. I feel like I've learned a lot from the internet, but it also can be very overwhelming. So yeah also what you just said, I didn't even know that that was two different things that like the labor and then the baby and mom care. You also can't always necessarily choose that, but like if it were available to you or if your provider delivered in two different hospitals, I don't know. It's like something you could ask. It's not the end of the world, certainly. But I like to mention it because I think it's so sweet for the patient experience.
00:07:55
Speaker
to maybe have the same person for a couple days in a row and all of that. So, yeah. Wow. Okay. So I love asking this first because I think people forget or don't know, like a labor nurse sees birth in a way most of us never will. You got to experience both ends. You got to be the labor and delivery nurse and give birth. Is there one thing that you wish every pregnant person knew before they even walked into labor and
Beyond Physiological Understanding of Birth
00:08:20
Speaker
delivery? Yeah.
00:08:21
Speaker
One thing I really noticed when I got to start having my own kids was just there's such a difference between knowing about the things about birth, like what Pitocin is or what the methods of induction are or what the...
00:08:36
Speaker
different parts of the cervical exam are and trying to learn how to be the person having a baby like that, I think, is often the disconnect in education or someone thinks like, oh, I read the book or I know all the stages of labor. And it's like, OK, but what do you know about like having a mind and a heart that are in labor? And that can feel a little ambiguous or a little like, OK, great. How do I actually do that? And I think that does come with more learning. But just that acceptance that that cheesy like birth is 90% mental, it is actually like so incredibly true. Like the body is going to do what the body is going to do, but it's going to do that like based on what's going on in your brain and your heart. And so I just think, so I just would want like the students who sit in front of me or the people who listen and follow along
00:09:22
Speaker
to understand the importance of recognizing that it's so much more than just this physical or physiological process. And then that means you then have to figure out, okay, what does that mean for me? Like, where do I lean? What do I learn? And for me, that's about like learning how to...
00:09:38
Speaker
not necessarily eliminate fears, but be willing to step into them and say, like, what am I scared of? What do I not know? Why am I scared about this? Do I have the right information about this?
00:09:49
Speaker
Like, be willing to tackle the things that make you nervous or make you scared, because I think a lot of that disconnect between what the body's doing and then maybe what we want it to do or how
Confronting Birth Fears
00:10:00
Speaker
we're feeling. It really starts with like, what are we scared of and leaning away from as opposed to being willing to lean into it, make it familiar to ourselves before birth starts, stuff like that. So it's not like a really great, here's what you guys should do answer. But I do think it's like this foundation for having a birth that,
00:10:17
Speaker
Let's say no matter what happens, you're able to say, hey, actually i learned about this. Like I know what my options are. Like I knew this might happen. And having that familiarity, even in the midst of maybe discomfort decision that you didn't want to make, i just think it's priceless.
00:10:33
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. So what you said, like, you know like your body, it's mental, your body knows what to do.
Explaining the Fetal Ejection Reflex
00:10:39
Speaker
i have been reading about, and this is obviously probably everyone's dream, but the fetal ejection reflex that like maybe just kind of comes out, you don't even have to push. How is there a way you can do that? get your body i was I would say your best shot at experiencing that is going to be unmedicated, physiological, natural birth, whatever you want to attach to that. Meaning we're not, you don't have an epidural. It's just you and your body doing its thing.
00:11:07
Speaker
I would also say that it's really important to understand that not everybody is going to experience that and it's not some sort of failure on your body either. Like I've had unmedicated births. i've actually done it four times with my kids and I feel like i kind of had the reflex or this ejection reflex twice, definitely with my fourth. But the other times I was like, I'm pushing. I feel like I want to push. It's time. Like i i I'm not going to wait.
00:11:34
Speaker
for my body to do something. My body is telling me to push my baby out. And so I think within that, there's this idea of like, I would say that cheesy, like, listen to your body. If your body is like, I'm going to say at peace when you're 10 centimeters dilated and you're breathing through and you're waiting and it feels right to do that, then do it. But if your body's like, hey, you want to push this baby out because it feels like it's time, then push your baby out. So I just think there's this this balance between wanting to experience those physiological things that that can happen that often do happen but maybe don't always and also like listening to your body and just letting your body help you write the story as well. I feel like we should go back really quick the fetal ejection reflex also is this it's actually two things going on but everyone just calls it the fetal ejection reflex but essentially it's like these two processes happening at the end of birth
00:12:27
Speaker
They basically make your body deliver your baby for you. And so it's like pushing on its own. I forget what the other thing is. It starts with a W. It's hormonal as well as mechanical. Basically, that's the best way to say it. So these two things come to a head, happen, and bodies will just like deliver really without your pushing efforts. So sorry, that's a mini mini lesson on that reflex and what you're talking about. That happened to a friend of mine and she, they were like, she was like, wanted a natural birth. She was laboring at home. Like, you know, when they went to sleep and, you know, woke up at like five, we're walking up the back door to go the hospital to get in their car. And she um was like, oh, we're not getting in the car. i have to go back inside. And she, the baby came out while she was walking inside.
00:13:11
Speaker
Like, she was like, it was insane. I didn't push. Like I was, my husband wasn't even to me yet. Was it her first baby? Yeah. Okay. That's like more impressive to me too. Cause I would say with like second, third, fourth babies, like sometimes they do just slide out, right? Cause that path has been laid and there's, that just is helpful. And I've seen it with epidurals too. I know I started that conversation or that answer with typically it's like more likely with an unmedicated birth, but like we have funny stories where a baby falls off the monitor. Cause you're, if you have an epidural, you're being continuously monitored And the baby just disappears. So you go in the room and you're like, oh, I need to readjust.
00:13:49
Speaker
And the reason the baby has come off the monitor is because they have slid out of the mother, like literally, while she was sleeping. So it absolutely happens. And that is the body just like pushing, right? The uterus is contracting as it's supposed to be doing. It's applying a bunch of force. The other reflexes kick in You know, you're dilated. It can happen for sure in any type of birth situation. But I've just seen some posts where people are almost like waiting for that and refuse to push until they think they're experiencing that. And it's like, if your body wants to or you feel good about it, you can go ahead and deliver. Like that's a that's a victory as well. I don't know what the right vocabulary is for that. So I just I wouldn't win that conversation comes up. I love it. I think it's incredible. The body is magic. And also, you can also help push your baby out, too. And that's OK, too. Like if you want to.
00:14:39
Speaker
Yeah. Okay, so you said you've seen posts about that. I have seen so many posts and then I save them and then I'm like, oh my gosh, have you noticed any big misconceptions about labor that social media has been amplifying lately?
00:14:53
Speaker
I've posted a few things in the last few months where it's almost this like reverse message of this idea of you're allowed to choose some of the things that everyone's telling you not to choose. And so I don't know these are necessarily myths, but we have a lot of narratives right now about like, you should refuse all of the cervical exams, right? Like they're not necessary. da-dadada that And I can have a conversation with you about that. There's some truth in what people are saying. But then the message for me is like, you can do what you want. Do you want to have a cervical exam? Do you want to know if you're dilated? Then say yes, please. And then if you don't say no, thank you. like And so I've felt a lot of conversations like that have gotten very black and white.
00:15:38
Speaker
Which to me then says, okay, we used to tell everybody, this is what you have to do in birth and lay down and you're doing this and I'm giving you an episiotomy and here's your baby. Good job. Okay. Obviously, that's an issue. That's not the way we should be birthing babies. But I feel like now we've swung to this.
00:15:53
Speaker
almost other side in a lot of spaces, not every space, but in many where it's like nobody can tell you what to do except for then on social media, they are telling you what to do. They're just telling you what not to do, right? So we went from you have to get a cervical exam every prenatal appointment from 37 weeks on to now you should refuse all of them or you're being an idiot. It's like, well, you've taken away choice in both of those scenarios, right? And so the message still needs to be you get to decide, do you want this or do you not? Do you want this or do you not? And so I think a lot of narratives like that, right? Like, don't push on your back. I i saw a post once that was asked about a doula educator and she's going in the, it's a talking real or whatever. And she's like, I am begging you, do not deliver your baby on your back. And I immediately was like, ah bla I want to throw up because you're still telling me what to do. You're just telling me it's the opposite message. I get that. I know that pushing on my back is not... physiologically best for any of us, but you're still telling me what to do. So I still feel like we've lost the plot here. And so I think a lot of those messages now, like don't get a cervical exam, don't push on your back, refuse the IV.
00:17:07
Speaker
Like I know where they're coming from, but I just don't know that we're any better than let's say prior generations because we're still trying to tell you what to do instead of saying,
00:17:17
Speaker
You decide, here's really good information in both directions, but you still get to pick and I support what you pick. Yeah. Well, OK, so how do you maybe this is too much of a people pleaser in me, but like I'm like, I don't want to upset my doctor. i want I want my doctor to know that I trust them. But also I want to know what are the things that like I should question or like find out. And I don't know. Like there's just so much information. Like i don't think I want a lot of interventions. But how do I know when it's like my call to say this isn't what you're doing because I don't really know what's going on.
00:17:54
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I'm a people pleaser too. So I get that. ah Sometimes I'll talk about online, almost acknowledging, hey, it's not as easy as everyone makes it to just walk in the room and be like, this is what we're doing and everyone's going to respect me.
00:18:06
Speaker
And yay me, I know how to advocate. Some of us are really good at that. Our personality types lend us to that type of strength. We're really good at advocating for ourselves. Maybe our birth partner is really good at advocating. So they're just incredible. But I think there's a ton of people who are not that strong. I don't mean you are a weak person. I mean, your personality just doesn't lend you to to show up with that type of just absolute kind of authority over your experience. And so I like saying, hey, I recognize that this isn't as easy as people make it out to be, that saying no or no thank you could feel really uncomfortable to people. And so I think
00:18:41
Speaker
When it comes to that, I feel like there were two questions you asked. It's almost like one, what should I be speaking up about? Right. And that's a little bit personal. And that's where you have to think about, like, what are the things that worry me? Or if I could design a birth experience And it really did work out I wanted, like, what would that look like, right? And so then when you're thinking about that kind of ideal, you can say, okay, what are some things that could happen to take me off course from this ideal scenario that I'm dreaming up? And then make sure that you're educated about those or you know how to ask questions about those, right? So at a really basic level, if your thing is, I would really like to do this without an epidural. Well, then I would actually say, I want you to learn about an epidural. I want you to learn why they're suggested. I want you to learn why people do and don't want them. I'd like you to learn about best timing for them. I'd like you to learn about other labor tools. Because if you're saying that one is off the table for me, well, then what are the other 12 that you're going to utilize? And how are you going to utilize those? And so I think once you have that maybe ideal scenario in your head, you then look at all the pieces that are kind of underlying that. And that kind of shows you
00:19:51
Speaker
where to lean in. And if any of those things are like, I don't care. Literally, if the doctor gives me a suggestion, I'll accept it. That's fine. Like, you don't need to lean in and learn about, i don't know, breaking the bag of waters if you're like, if they tell me to do it, I'm going to do it because I trust that choice. slightly Or whatever. Yeah. Like, I just think...
00:20:09
Speaker
There can be this idea that you also need to learn about everything. But there are so many people who are like, I do not care about the IV. i am happy to accept the IV. i will tell them to disconnect it if I want to go to the bathroom and I want to be free to walk. But like they don't turn it into a really big thing. So move on. Like don't turn it into a big thing. There doesn't need to be a big thing. So I think that's like the first thing is trying to figure out maybe what some big things are for you. yeah.
00:20:36
Speaker
then doing some learning around them and also knowing that someone else's big thing doesn't have to be your big thing. So that's kind of like the first part of that of figuring out. And then the second idea of like saying no or advocating or what to do in those scenarios.
00:20:52
Speaker
I'm sure you've heard this acronym or you'll hear it again, but there's this acronym BRAIN and it essentially is about like how to have informed consent type conversations. And so when there's a choice in front of you, some options, like ultimately you should be the one getting to decide. You don't ever have to just do this.
00:21:12
Speaker
Well, you're the doctor, so I'm just going to do what you say and trust you inherently. unless you want to. You can have that relationship with them. But if you do want to be more actively involved, which is what I would suggest, then you kind of think about this brain acronym when something's presented to you. And so that's where you're just saying, hey, what are the benefits of this choice?
00:21:31
Speaker
Hey, what are the risks of this choice? The A is alternatives. Are there other options? Are there other alternatives or things that we could do right now as opposed to what you're suggesting?
00:21:43
Speaker
The I is about what your intuitions are telling you or what they are leading you towards. And then the N is this idea of what if we do nothing right now? And I think that that's always an important one, too, because sometimes we think we have to choose to do something. And sometimes your option is like, thanks for presenting me with these. I'm actually going to choose to do nothing right now.
00:22:03
Speaker
And my other part about that that I really like is that it it also frees you up to say, hey, can we just have more time? And I think that's a really important part of having these combos with your provider about whatever may or may not come up is just recognizing that like 99.9% of the time,
00:22:20
Speaker
You do not have to decide in this moment. We are not rushing back to the OR, whatever it might be. You can say, you know what I'd love to just do nothing right now. Take 30 minutes, talk this over, take 60 minutes, you know, that type of conversation as well. So I think there's scripts and things that you could practice and kind of think about in a prenatal appointment. But ultimately, i think it's that recognition of knowing you can have a conversation let's say, let's go back to AROM, which is when they break your bag of waters. I know I mentioned that prior. If you just want to say, hey, like, could you actually talk to me about what would happen if we don't break my bag of waters right now or just choose to do nothing for the next couple of hours? Like, what does that path look like? And then if
00:23:03
Speaker
They have that conversation with you, the ability to also say, is there something we could do besides breaking my bag of waters? I just really don't want to do that right now. But I get what you're saying about we need to make progress for whatever reason, you know. And so just dancing kind of around in that benefits, risks, alternatives conversation. And I think it can be that easy.
00:23:23
Speaker
Like, what if we did nothing? Would you mind like walking me through what that path looks like? Just ask that question um and have conversations like that. And if they're not willing to have them, well, we kind of have a bigger issue. But I really think it can be that amicable and not feel like a, well, I did my research and I know that AROM can be unsafe. So I really don't want to do that. Like, I'm a person who's not going to come at it like that, though you can. You really can. That is absolutely right in that personality, all of that. But I'm more the person who,
00:23:52
Speaker
wants it to be like a chit chat while I do get the information that I want to have. That's exactly, you just made me feel so calm because i was about to be like, well, what are the things that I do have a say in? Because I feel like I'm at a great hospital, but like some, you know, everyone's got an opinion when you're pregnant. That's why you feel like an actual expert because you're like, you could do this, you could do that. But, you know, I've had some people be like, oh, they're a baby factory. They push C-sections so quickly and they push interventions because they just want you in and out. And I'm like getting scared and, you know, so that gave me a lot of peace of mind. And then also reminded me, that's what I always tell parents, you know if they're having a problem with their child's teacher, like you don't want to come in and be like, actually, I listened to Miss Beth's podcast and she said this. Like you want to ask and be curious and just like, can you tell me a little bit more about...
00:24:44
Speaker
The reading curriculum you do, this is new to me. I'm reading more about it, but I guess I don't fully understand it. Can you tell me about it? And it I just need to go into birth with that or to my my OB appointments with like, I actually don't really understand this. Can you explain it to me? Yep.
00:24:59
Speaker
Yep. The other thing I really love, too, is and this requires your learning, right, which obviously I'm going to say you should do some learning before you have these babies. is with the conversation, a lot of times these are happening with a nurse as well. Not that we are going to have any right to force you to do anything either, but let's say it's like the IV start, which most hospitals are going to start an IV on you when you get admitted.
00:25:19
Speaker
And if you're not wanting one, right? What I love is the if if the conversation looks like with your nurse almost this back and forth of i know the iv is for fluids i know it's for medications i know that my situation might change and an iv is going to become more necessary i recognize all those things right now those things aren't true i feel like i can keep myself hydrated and i'd love to you know if anything changes please let me know and let's have this conversation again and what i love about that conversation is one you're advocating for yourself right you don't want ivy Two, you've done the research about what they're for, why they might be needed.
00:25:54
Speaker
Three, you recognize that things might change. And you're saying, hey, I recognize that. So please be truthful with me. If you're seeing something coming for me or something happening, tell me. And I want to be able to reassess this with you. I just think that's like such a beautiful conversation in both directions where you're preemptively informed, which is great. And you two can have this like mutually respectful conversation too. I mean, I just picture sure as a nurse being like, absolutely, I will let you know if anything changes and we can talk this through again. I just, I think that that just sounds really lovely.
00:26:26
Speaker
So if you can make that happen, let's do it. Well, you just made me think, I don't know if this is outside of your wheelhouse because it's less labor and more pregnancy, but you just made me think, like, I just kind of blindly took some advice. I didn't ask about something changing. So I'm a teenage pregnancy, but I'm also over 35. Yeah. The both ends of the spectrum. I love it. um No, but I have seen so many things that are like, oh, no, I'm having it.
00:26:54
Speaker
I'm going to be a teen mom. It's like me in a geriatric pregnancy. um But so I'm healthy. Everything's looking good, like so much so that we are living at our summer camp. And, you know, we asked, like, are there any appointments we could go to up here? We're like seven hours away from home. And my doctor was like, you know what? Everything is so good. Some of it is just like checking your blood pressure and listening to the baby's heart rate. So you could get a Doppler. You could like like tell me the heart rate and you can tell me your blood pressure and we could do it virtually. So we did that with like 20 and 24. So then we did our 20-week anatomy scan and then she let us do that. And then I'm going back...
00:27:29
Speaker
And she's very lax. She's like, oh, when works for you? Like around 28 weeks should be your glucose test. And I'd like you to come back for that if you can. I'm like, yeah, I'll come back. um But then she's like very lenient. But the other end of it is that she was like, well, since you're over 35, let's just put you on a baby aspirin.
00:27:49
Speaker
And I was just like, OK. But then I'm not listening to this. I'm like, Well, wonder if I should have been like, well, can we like wait and see? Do you know anything about that? Why why they do that? Because like some of my friends who are over 35 are like, yeah, they did that to me too, just because you have more risks. But now I'm like, well, should I have asked more questions about that? mean like and yeah That's essentially what it is, though, at its baseline is it's just this it's a the standard recommendation or standard kind of. Yeah.
00:28:21
Speaker
recommendation of care when you are 35 to help kind of mitigate some risk. It's research-based and it's evidence-based. I think patients, some refuse it, some take it. I think you could certainly have had more of a conversation about why and gotten into like, like if you wanted to play the whole thing out, like tell me how my w risks change, you know, where there's this number versus this number. Is that a relative risk change, an absolute risk change? Does that percentage change mean enough to you to take something or to not take something? I mean, I think you could play any of those conversations out, but it makes me think of you actually just also mentioned your glucose screening.
00:29:01
Speaker
And that also is a standard recommendation of care. And so it's the same thing again, like some of us are going to accept some of these standard recommendations of care.
00:29:13
Speaker
And I don't think it's flippantly or naively, but you know the research or the evidence is there and you believe what's there. And so you're just going to do it without having this massive informed consent conversation.
00:29:24
Speaker
Whereas some of us are going to want to have that conversation about all of the parts and pieces or all the tests or all the recommendations. And that's fine, too. And so I think ultimately that answer there for you would be more of like a comfort level thing, like Did it make you feel uncomfortable to just accept that or to do that? I don't know. sounds like you chose to do it or you're going to. But I think you can just still have the same conversation. And then if you want, you can get into those details of risks, benefits, alternatives, do nothing, right? Like you kind of just mentioned all of that and see how you feel about that. I think we make a lot, and this is not specific to this baby aspirin recommendation. I think we make a really big deal about some things
00:30:08
Speaker
And then we, saying like the one pregnant, we feel like we have to really care. I know I've kind of already spoken to this. And I think sometimes you also need the freedom to be like, I trust these recommendations that are in place or these ones that have been in place for a while. Like you're allowed to also trust some of these recommendations. You're allowed to trust that the glucose screening is a great way to screen for gestational diabetes. You're comfortable taking it.
00:30:32
Speaker
And then you move on from it. I just, yeah, I just think we need that narrative out there too. Yeah. Okay, I had a question about the IV. You said, you also I was about to be like, wait, you mean I'm allowed to say no to the glucose screening? But then I'm like, what? You are allowed to say no to anything.
00:30:51
Speaker
Like, they cannot force you to c chug that drink, nor can they force you to go to the lab and have your blood drawn, nor can they force you to start an IV if you're like, absolutely not. Don't touch my arms. Yeah.
00:31:02
Speaker
Some of those sound confrontational and horrible. i think there's better ways to get to the place where everyone's cool with the plan of care that you've decided on. But yeah, I mean, yes, you can refuse anything.
00:31:15
Speaker
Okay, so um the IV thing. I'm like, I i was not planning on refusing IV. I'm like fine with it. Although when I was planet was getting and a blood drawn, I think at 12 weeks, I had like a they called it vasovagal response. Did you pass out?
00:31:31
Speaker
Passed out. And then I threw up and they were like, oh, you have this. And I was like, then like, you know, one of my friends was like, I think that's like a fancy word of being like, you're a baby. And I was like, i wasn't afraid of the eye.
00:31:43
Speaker
I wasn't afraid of the idea of the needle. Like, I'm like, I was fine with it. It was like completely, it felt completely physical to me. It was not emotional. Like, I was just like, oh my God, I don't feel good. I got so hot and sweaty. And then one of my um other friends was like, oh yeah, that happened to me during birth then too. So like, does that happen? Could that happen in birth then if you've had that reaction?
00:32:04
Speaker
I mean, yes, it's possible. ah Sometimes, yes. it's I would say it's really rare to just vasovagal and pass out. i would say like for you specific to the IV, that idea, if you're cool with them, like my recommendation for that would be get it. Yeah, get it when you get admitted so it's not this I don't know, you're in the heat of some moment and everyone's like, we should have an IV. And you say, okay, great. And then you add in this possible complication of your body. Yeah, I would say, okay, let's mitigate that possibility. If it weren't happening in in labor, I'll just get my IV during a chill time. If I were to vasovagel, like it's not like I'm in the throes of transition and suddenly I want an epidural and need an
00:32:48
Speaker
needta ivy So But yeah, it can happen. I don't know that I've seen it happen that often. And if anything, it seems more related to, you know, like an IV start or something specific, like you're saying, like a specific scenario. And someone can correct me if I'm wrong on this. I don't know that just because it happened to you, like like yeah you got your blood drawn, that that means you're always going to have that sort of response when you have an IV start or a blood poke or whatever.
00:33:13
Speaker
Good, good. Okay, so I have a question. I know. Fancy way of being a baby. I was like, no, I didn't. know it's that. Oh, good. I'm going to tell everyone that. I'm just going to send them this clip. Okay, so it's one of the questions that someone asked was um Okay, this is my fourth baby, my first time having an anterior placenta. What does that mean? Why does it happen? Does it change labor?
00:33:38
Speaker
And does it tell me anything about future pregnancies? I was surprised at this question box because I also have an anterior placenta and i my OB v was like half people have anterior placentas. It doesn't really mean anything.
00:33:52
Speaker
When you read the question, I was going to ask you what you found out at your 20-week appointment because typically that is where you find out the location of your placenta. Sometimes they notice it a little earlier for whatever reason, but that's usually where they tell you. And they often don't tell you anything about it or you don't notice anything about it unless it's anterior. And then you're like, wait, what does that mean? It doesn't really mean anything. It just means your placenta attached to the front of your uterus as opposed to like kind of more the back or the sides. It's not like more or less ideal. The one thing with an anterior placenta is you often feel your baby move less or it can be harder to Doppler earlier on because there's literally a placenta in the way of either that movement that they're making or the Doppler. And so I think that's like the biggest thing that you're usually going to notice with an anterior placenta is you might not be feeling your baby...
00:34:39
Speaker
as much as your friend who's exactly the same weeks pregnant as you. Or you might, like, I know your questioner said it was fourth baby. My guess is maybe they felt other babies earlier. And even though this is their fourth, they're not feeling them as early, which typically you would because you know what you're looking for at that point. So they might be noticing that. It doesn't mean anything for future pregnancies. There's random stuff online that talks about it could lend itself to an OP baby, which is that sunny side up term or when the baby's kind of drop into the pelvis backwards where like basically they should come out with the back of their head along the front of your body. That is ideal for labor. You probably already heard this in your Instagram algorithm. But if in an OP baby, the back of their head is along the back of your body. And so it can lead to back labor and some frustrations during labor. So there's stuff that says maybe an anterior placenta can make your baby be more inclined to be OP, but that's not
00:35:33
Speaker
That's not evidence-based. That's not actually true. I think it's like anecdotal. I myself have had anterior placentas. My babies were not OP. So I'm like, just don't even think, don't even worry about that. Like, don't worry about that. Since you have an anterior placenta, don't worry about that. Just have your baby. it's There's nothing really more to think about it except that maybe fetal movement thing sometimes.
00:35:53
Speaker
Yeah, I don't. It's kind of nice. I mean, like, I feel her like swimming. I don't feel her like a lot of kicks, but like I like it feels like like a fish inside And I'm like, oh, there she is. But like, it's not.
00:36:04
Speaker
I mean it's like now it's since I'm in the third trimester, it's like every day, multiple times. But well, and you should feel it now. Like you should be doing your kick counts once you get to that third try. Like the placenta doesn't.
00:36:16
Speaker
impact having to do any of that or those results like needing to be regular and consistent. It's more about those like earlier weeks. You know, some people are like, I felt my baby at 14 weeks and other people are like I didn't feel mine until 22. Well, they probably have an anterior placenta in that like later scenario. But at this point, you know, you should be feeling things and you're just learning what that normal is for for her.
00:36:40
Speaker
Yeah. Okay, so you mentioned, okay, we're talking about position of baby. This is a big thing on the internet I'm seeing. Breach babies. Should people try to flip a breach baby by themselves with inversions? Or is it like the baby's going the baby's thing and don't worry about it? What are your thoughts on all of that?
00:37:01
Speaker
So I think firstly, it's your choice. I'll speak from my own like personal heart here. If I were to have a baby who were breech or at my 28 week, they said, oh, baby's not head down yet. Like, first of all, they they can flip and keep moving like up until 36 weeks, sometimes even 37, sometimes way later. But like at 28 weeks, I wouldn't be panicking or whatever or anything earlier or whatever. But I am someone who would be trying the things to like let's say naturally flipped by baby like those inversions spinning babies has a great page on their website and they're an Instagram account and all that as well where it's I think it's called literally how to flip a breach is the title of the page and there's just these different exercises you can do a lot of it is just about making space in your lower uterine area in like your psoas muscles and the things that connect the ligaments that are all down there
00:37:54
Speaker
Because when you have space and when you're aligned, that's just the best environment for a baby to get to where they need to be. Right. And so I think sometimes some of it can sound, you know, there's this thing called moxibustion where you something about like holding a flame up to your near your feet or something. You know, there's some things that people like, what are you talking about? that's That's crazy. There's the ice pack, you know, acoustic stuff, trying to put noise or hot, cold, different things, trying to get them to turn away from stimulus. Like I could see some things where people are like, what are you talking about? But a lot of the exercises, movements, et cetera, these are really great for labor in general. We're just talking about making space, having a really aligned body. So ah personally, I'm like, yeah, like I would do all those things.
00:38:41
Speaker
Anyway, like even if my baby were head down, like like I'm going to be doing these exercises and these fetal positioning things. But there are things you can do specifically for a breach. The other part of the conversation that probably some people really do start to have some really strong opinions out is the external cephalic version. which is where your care provider, it's like a scheduled appointment, usually around 37 weeks, where your care provider is actually trying to manually rotate your baby from the outside. It's usually two providers. And so you go in and you have a scheduled appointment where they're going to try and like hands on on the outside. i know everyone can't see me, but like push the actual butt and head and rotate that, rotate the baby head down.
00:39:23
Speaker
Have you not heard of this? no I think they're really, they're like very interesting to watch and see. um Some people, I think at that point, because we usually do it around like 37 weeks or so because we want baby to be term. Because one of the risks of that is like if baby doesn't tolerate that or their heart rate drops and we can't like get it to come back up. that you would have an immediate C-section. That is a risk. It's really, really small, but it is a risk. So if you're ever to have that conversation, they should be talking to you about that. But essentially, yeah I mean, the hope is just that they can flip that baby down. So then you can wait to go into labor spontaneously or or have baby that way. That one, sometimes people are like, at this point, 37 weeks, 38 weeks, we need to let it lie. This baby is breached for a reason. We don't need to be trying to force them to turn anymore. And so that one is, I think, considered like much more of an intervention. and And that's where the conversation sometimes people really divert. I think most people don't have a problem with some of that other stuff I talked about.
00:40:25
Speaker
But some people are like, if my baby won't flip the other way, then they're that way for a reason. And they just want to stay hands off. But I've seen lots of versions. And i don't like to say what I would do because I think sometimes that's not fair when you're not literally the one deciding.
00:40:41
Speaker
Yeah. Right now I would tell you i would try a version after seeing many of them and seeing, in my opinion, like how small the the risks are, but the possible benefit of them having that baby be head down, changing your labor process, all of that.
00:40:57
Speaker
But yeah, I don't know that ah I don't think it's fair for anyone to say absolutely what they would do unless they literally are the one deciding in that moment. So yeah. Okay. Okay. Well, there's a couple more questions. I know we're running out of time, but I want to do rapid fire. I'll go fast.
00:41:10
Speaker
Great. um Okay. So this kind of goes along with online stuff. So, okay. Wait. So to summarize, you would do this, like this, this the position practice that you see online. back and My absolute favorite thing, breach or head down, baby. I'm doing fetal positioning exercises to have them in the best position for birth.
00:41:26
Speaker
Great. I'm going to start doing them right now. I mean, after this. You have some time. You don't have to panic at 28 weeks. But definitely by like mid 30 weeks, if you're free to do it, I'm into it. It's ah the exercising, stretching, all of that. Like those are good things. So many babies again actually has this great like ADLs, like daily activities you can do during your pregnancy. But I get really intentional. And I think like I want my students to get intentional if they care about this. Definitely at like 35 weeks, 36 weeks, like really thinking head down, baby, baby with that head along the front of the body, all that stuff.
00:42:00
Speaker
Okay, one thing, maybe you'd let me know if you don't know this answer, but I did start doing the, like, hugging the baby breathing um that I learned on the internet. Well, I actually learned it from a prenatal Pilates instructor. I asked about it after I sat on the internet, and people are always like... Don't hurt the baby. do Have you seen people doing that where they're like... Like the belly lift where you're like breathe up and hug your baby up?
00:42:23
Speaker
Yeah. um Yeah. I mean, I think a lot of that stuff is so much about that conversation I was having about creating space in the lower uterine area, right? One, it feels great for back pain, et cetera, like just to lift, right? Or to have birth partner, partner, whoever's with you, they can lift for you. It's amazing during labor. feels really good too. But so much of like what's going on down there you know, the different things that are holding baby and making space down there. It just, yeah, I just think like, why would we, why would, you're not hurting the baby. They're getting squeezed. you know how tight it is in there when you're 40 weeks pregnant? We're just lifting, creating space. Like, I think it's great. And i think it feels great. Do you feel it? kind of like a pretty trick. ah So we are at an all boys summer camp and it was like pre-camp. so like it could It was talent show night and it was all the counselors and they're all like, you know, like between 18 and 22 from all over the world. And I, it's all boys that have like probably not really interacted with a pregnant woman very much. And so I was like, should I do this? And I, and I did it. And and this one because guy goes, where did the baby go? Yeah.
00:43:30
Speaker
Yeah, it's pretty weird. She's still in there. If you could hold it in like that, why don't you suck in all the time? I'm like, well, because it kind of hurts my It's really hard. Yeah. And my sisters like, so you're just sucking in. And I was like, no, I'm breathing out and pulling up from the pelvic floor. And they were like, both of them have four kids. And they're like, I cannot physically breathe out and pull up. You do that at the same time.
00:43:55
Speaker
Thank you. I've got skills. So, okay. So somebody says, I'm 29 weeks pregnant with my second baby. Do these stretches I see online prevent tearing? Does anything really reduce tearing risk? I don't want to tear. Okay.
00:44:09
Speaker
That's a huge spicy conversation as well. Sometimes. You said I would do fire. No, I'll be fast. Tearing, just think it's important here. Tearing is sometimes there's this, a genetic component as well, right? So you can do all the quote unquote right things and you might still have a first degree or second degree and you did beautifully and your body did not fail. So I just think we need to hear that as well. There are things that you can do to help prevent tearing. a lot of the research is actually about preventing the severity of your tear. And so I think sometimes people are like, this is how you don't tear. And I'm like, if you look at the research, it's actually about preventing an episiotomy, preventing needing stitches. Like people get a little loosey-goosey with what it actually says.
00:44:46
Speaker
Perineal, I think she's talking about perineal massage when she's talking about stretching. The research largely says that can be like beneficial to a first timer, less so with a second, third, fourth. So that's one thing I think that often isn't shared and that less is more. So if you're trying to get in there and give yourself perineal massage every day, there's no benefit to that. You do not need to be in there. And I don't remember specifics of some of this research, but it was like,
00:45:13
Speaker
I want to say it was like two times a week might have some value for the first timer, but you five times a week, six doesn't make it any better. And less so the results were not as like, this is helpful for a second or third or fourth baby. So there's other things, hands-off birth where the provider isn't in there while you're pushing and they just stay really hands-off, being in the water, not having an episiotomy because that then inclines you to tear more, trying to think what else is on list. There's like seven or eight things that might help. Not getting an epidural,
00:45:43
Speaker
different pushing positions, so not being on your back. can't remember, maybe the last one. So yeah, there are things that you can do for sure to decrease your risk of tearing, but they decrease often your risk of severe tearing, or that's what the research says. And the other little part of that, like let's say it's more crunchy part of that conversation, is just eating foods that support your tissues and stuff like that. And that's not necessarily my wheelhouse, right? But those tissues are meant to to stretch and um heal really well, but we can eat foods that support our body's processes for that as well.
00:46:17
Speaker
Right. OK, i speaking of crunchy, um should everyone consider hiring a doula? What do you what do you think of that? Have you seen births with a doula go well, go wrong?
00:46:30
Speaker
i think overall, the answer is doulas. help births go better. Like research shows us that that support that coming from a professional like that leads to better outcomes, right? So if you want like the clinical answer, there's that.
00:46:44
Speaker
ah The conversation then becomes is a good doula, is it bad doula? Are they supportive of you? Are they putting what they think you should do on you? Are they genuinely like kind of going back to when we started this conversation, someone who's like, here's your options, what do you want to do? And I'll support it. And so that is the work you have to do then to make sure you guys are vibing in the same way. There's a financial implication, right? So everyone can't afford one. Not everyone's like insurance typically doesn't cover them. Some hospitals provide them. Things are changing in that regard, which is great. And then I would say my husband, Kelvin, did not want a doula. He wanted to be the person for me.
00:47:16
Speaker
And utilize your birth partner or your husband or your spouse. That is their job is to help them support you too. But Kel really was like, I want to do this. If you want to have a medicated birth, I get that. Let's do the class. Like I really want to be there for you. And just he did not want a doula to maybe take away any of his roles. And so I think that's a valuable conversation, too. Like, are they going to step in for you? And are they really going to step in for you? Because Kelvin did the things, right? And so I was like, he's going to do it.
00:47:44
Speaker
Was he as good as a doula who's delivered 1800 babies? Probably not. Like, of course, these doulas have skills that they've learned and honed. But he did a really good job. So I think it's important to consider what they want to and how that aligns with the type of birth you want. And can the two of you make that happen? Or would another voice, you know, help advocate, help with options? Maybe you're both not good at advocating that voice could be that for you and fleshing that out together.
00:48:11
Speaker
Yeah. Okay, you mentioned he like he was like, okay, I'll do the class with you. What classes should people take? And I'm sure you have several. Should you do an online, say I do like your birthing class online, if you have one, tell us about it. And should I do one from the hospital, at a doula center, all of the above? Is there a way that you're too informed and you've taken too many classes?
00:48:35
Speaker
I don't know that you could be too informed, but I think you can get overwhelmed, right? So you have to dance that line of at some point, I think we all need to go. I've done the work. I'm going to stop scrolling about Terry, whatever it is, because then you're just going to inevitably hear someone telling you everything that you feel good about. is wrong. And then you're on these spirals. So I think we have to kind of pick a voice, pick a class, pick something and say like, I trust this space.
00:49:01
Speaker
I'm going to let this space help guide my learning. Like this is going to be my Bible, my dictionary or they. Like, not that every you have to pick one person who's the only one who can help you. But I think at some point we have to also turn off the inputs. So I do think you can overdo it. I do think choosing a class is really, really important. Going back to the, like, geeky evidence says, like, those who take a comprehensive birth course— have better outcomes as well. And there's like multiple better, you know, I guess I'm air quoting better outcomes, like lower C-section rates, less race of induction, more satisfaction with birth, better bonding, actually more satisfaction for the birth partner. Like there's lots of benefits attached to that type of education. So to me, I'm like, well, yeah, why wouldn't anyone want better outcomes, whatever those better outcomes might be for you. And then I think often hospital classes are going to be a little bit and procedural or like more of this is how we do it here. And so they often don't offer that what I talked about at the beginning, the like kind of more full person, like, let's talk about what you're scared of. Let's talk about your mental fears. Your hospital birth class rarely going to do that. They're going to lay out all this, all the other things that we talked about, which are good to know. Maybe stages labor. What's an epidural like? Let's check out the room. Let's talk about induction and more like options that are related to the clinical setting. So not a bad thing, but not enough in my opinion. yeah And then i think some doulas offer birth classes. Some doulas offer. want you to take someone else's class.
00:50:32
Speaker
I mean, some doulas only see you once before birth and then they're at your birth. Some are more involved. So I think how to get educated might be specific to like who's in your birth corner and what they have for you. And then certainly if if there isn't someone saying, here, do this with me or I'm doing this with you,
00:50:49
Speaker
I mean, i yeah, i highly recommend a course. I do have an online course. Mine's called Your Body, Your Birth. And that one is that kind of comprehensive, full, from start to finish type education where you get the pregnancy. And then we talk about the prenatal appointments. And then it's just this idea of setting you up like we've been talking about for pregnancy.
00:51:10
Speaker
those conversations that I want you to be having, not just here's a bunch of knowledge, but like, how do you have good conversations with your knowledge so you can you can direct things and be an active participant in this process?
00:51:22
Speaker
So is that something that both the birthing person and the birthing partner take together your course? Yeah, I have my primary course and then i actually have a partner one specific that sometimes I still like. I can't believe it. But Kelvin got on camera and built some stuff out with me. And then there's a guide as well that's written to the birth partner specifically. that even that could be like their little Bible for birth and labor, pregnancy, all of it as well.
00:51:49
Speaker
And then mine also includes induction and VBAC as well, just because, I mean, induction specifically, 50% births in the United States end up using Pitocin in one form or another. So that induction augmentation conversation is super important too and is happening to a lot of us. And so that is part of it as well.
00:52:09
Speaker
Okay, two last questions. They might be loaded. This is someone that didn't, I don't know, they they haven't given birth yet, but the hospital wants them. They talked about doing closed glottis pushing, and they said, what are my other options? I don't even know what that is. I'm like, wait, are they going to talk? That would guys, we talked about this in my birth course. That would be open glottis. So closed glottis is... um That probably what you're picturing, like hold your breath, bear down. it might also be called purple pushing. um But it's that, yeah, I think that common picture that we might see on television and in movies and film and stuff like that still. And so it is that bearing down type pushing. And so...
00:52:50
Speaker
Often it's like we're going to push three times in one contraction and we're going to count to 10. And a coached pushing is another word for it. So you're being very coached in how to breathe, how to push, when to do it. Open glottis or uncoached pushing, non-guided pushing is the opposite, right? And so it's more this idea of breathing your baby down, more intuitive, less coached for sure. Often there's like no counting involved. you are more in charge of it. There's specifically like this idea of J breathing. And if you can picture your body like this J of like breathing baby down and out, that's that little like J on the end.
00:53:27
Speaker
And so there are pros and cons to both. I know people don't like to acknowledge pros of maybe coach pushing, but like in terms of pushing times, efficiency, tearing, all of that. And so I Not to be cheesy, but it goes back to that kind of informed consent conversation. Although I would say do your work and learning about that before birth.
00:53:46
Speaker
I don't know that when you're ready to start pushing or you want to, that that's where you're like, hey, can you tell me the risks and benefits of closed goddess pushing? Like you could do that, but that's probably not what you're going to want to be doing. You're probably going to be ready to do what you've decided feels good and right. And then, yeah, yeah see what happens.
00:54:02
Speaker
Well, I can't, I'm going to ah have to be signing up for your course after this. Okay, last question. Can you actually predict labor? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. And anyone who tries to is lying to you. You can know like normals, but there's stuff that exists outside of normal all the time. So basically, what's something we always say? Second babies usually come really fast and faster than your first. Is that usually true a good majority of the time? Yeah. But it's also not always true. And so I think...
00:54:35
Speaker
that idea of being able to predict labor, it just sets us up for an expectation that may not be met. And then I don't want to add that like unmet expectation or frustration into your labor process, right? So if I tell you the first stage of labor is usually about four to six hours long and yours is eight or nine, well, guess what? That can be incredibly normal.
00:54:55
Speaker
I don't want you necessarily thinking it's supposed to be six. Maybe there's a problem. Let's do something I didn't want to do prior. And you're just basing that on something you thought. was predictable that is not. So I like knowing normals. That's like, yeah, that's what we're all doing when we're learning a lot of the stuff about labor. But then just really understanding that there's these really big spectrums on both sides that still mean you and baby are both still perfectly normal, that those aren't forcing functions to then do something that you didn't want to or have to push something along.
00:55:29
Speaker
Like rarely is that true. You're just outside of maybe a scope of normal sometimes. I love it. Or the scope of predictable. I love it. Okay, and I guess let's end with a light question.
00:55:41
Speaker
What are you reading right now, if you're reading anything? I am. I'm laughing because i am reading some Dramione fanfic.
00:55:51
Speaker
but Like the post Harry Potter world where people write news stories about how things really went down. yeah And I'm only laughing because I just got into this. Do you know who Kara the baby nurse is? She's a great follow for postpartum baby stuff too. She got me into it or like opened me up to it.
00:56:11
Speaker
And i had like shared about on my Instagram was like, guys, I love this. I forget what one was. I love this book or whatever. And someone responded and said, it's funny to me that you're talking about this because for years you had to hide that you were like geeky or so weird that you read fanfic. And then I started talking about i'm like, am I supposed to be embarrassed about this? Oh, okay, shoot. I mean, I'm not. Obviously, i just told you and anyone who's listening. But I am reading a Dremayne fanfic right now.
00:56:40
Speaker
So i gosh, this isn't good publicity for them. I forget what the title is of it, but it's great. I do not know titles of books. i have a Kindle. And so like, I feel like you don't see the title as much. you like For sure. book You see it like sitting on your nightstand. I'm like, I don't know the titles of my book. hundred percent. And I can love the book. And a friend is like, what are you reading? And I'm like, oh my gosh, it's so good. it And then there' say, what is it called? And I'm like,
00:57:04
Speaker
I don't know, but I actually genuinely do love it. That's not a good advertisement for it because I don't know the name, but it's great. I might have to get into this fanfic. This is this is a good. Did you read Harry Potter? I feel like Miss Beth had to have read Harry Potter. OK, yeah.
00:57:21
Speaker
Yeah. Well, a long time ago. If you want Draco and Hermione to end up together, it seems very complicated. Then you can read Hermione. It sounds so dorky. Let's move on. We're done.
00:57:34
Speaker
I was literally yesterday. i was like, I wish there was a book I could find that's just like Scandal like because I'm rewatching Scandal right now. love that show. I watched that show, too. It was long enough ago that I don't remember how things went down. yeah I don't either.
00:57:50
Speaker
It's it's all. And there's seven seasons. But I'm like, if I was reading a book like this, I wouldn't be able to put it down. So and and then Andy was like, I'm sure there's a lot of political. There bra there there probably are. that That's actually very true. So I don't have time to read them. I'm reading Dramini instead. So. Yes, that's much more important.
00:58:09
Speaker
Wow. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for being here. I'll link in the show notes your courses for all of the pregnant people listening to this because you make people feel empowered instead of overwhelmed. And I think that that is very important in this internet day and age. So thank you.
00:58:28
Speaker
Well, thank you. And that's the goal too. Like y'all, it's a big deal. It's a really big deal. And We don't have to make you feel terrified about it at the same time. I think we can find the middle ground for sure.
00:58:40
Speaker
So thank you. And tell people where they can follow you and find you. Yeah, of course. So I think you mentioned it when we started. The Labor Mama is my like platform name. And that's M-A-M-A for mama. But that's the same for Instagram or TikTok. My website's the same as well. Courses, guides, all of that stuff is there too. And then I actually have a podcast as well. I forget what episode it was, but Beth came on. So the Lo and Behold podcast is also my podcast too, which you could also find at my website as well.
00:59:09
Speaker
Yes. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for being here. I might have to have you back in case I get weird news at a later appointment. I'd love to. I'd be happy to. I like all the Q&A type stuff, so I'd love to.
00:59:20
Speaker
Great. You're the best. Thank Thanks, Beth.