Transcript
Speaker: I've like talked to a lot of both clients and friends that say like that they have intrusive thoughts or they're like afraid to admit that they have them because, you know, what if I say this thought and people are going to think like, oh, no, we need to like lock her up. So I can't go to therapy. What would you say to that mom? So I get to give it a name. It's called intrusive thoughts.
Speaker: I get to say how common it is. 90% of moms and 81% of dads and partners experience intrusive thoughts. And I also get to say your thoughts are not predictive. Play Onwards!
Speaker: Play Onwards! This is Play Onwards from Big City Readers. And this is Beth. Okay, welcome back to the Plan Words podcast. It's Ms. Beth, and I'm here with my friend and big city mom and therapist, Jamie. And we are going to talk today about some of the reasons that you might not want to go to therapy. We're going to talk about how to get yourself ready for your child to go to kindergarten because we have...
Speaker: the therapist in our ear here telling us her own practices of how she's prepping both her child and herself. And we're going to talk about some red flags and green flags, maybe when looking for a therapist. So Jamie, welcome.
Speaker: Hi, Miss Beth. How are you? Good. So why don't you tell us a little bit about you? You have two kids, you're in Chicago, and you're a therapist, and you own a private practice.
Speaker: So I'm Jamie Crider. I live in Chicago. have two kids. I have a daughter who is five and a half and a son who's two and a half. And I own a practice called Nurture Therapy. We're a women's counseling practice. We support birthing individuals and their families throughout the reproductive journey.
Speaker: So I have several therapists that work in the practice, and we're in eight different states. That's crazy. And birthing individuals love that. um That feels so safe already. Like if I'm listening to this, I'm like, oh, I can go here.
Speaker: i always it I'm in the business of parents and babies. I'm a parent with babies myself. at It's a nice synergy. it Yeah. Do you have a favorite type of parent to work with?
Speaker: So my ideal client is a first-time mom who's experiencing postpartum anxiety or intrusive thoughts, postpartum OCD. There isn't an intrusive thought. I haven't heard.
Speaker: Really? Yeah. I've heard them all. Experienced some myself. um And I also work with a lot of people who have experienced birth trauma. i do I'm an EMDR therapist as well.
Speaker: Oh, I've done that. Did you like it? Yeah, I did. But one of my friends actually just asked yesterday, her sister is about to start it. And I was like, I think it's a little controversial, people say. Is it or no?
Speaker: It's definitely gotten more popularity, but it's always been an evidence-based practice. So it started in the nineteen eighty s by Francis Shapiro. And it's one of the most researched methods for trauma. So it's actually pretty good. The idea is it gets things unstuck in the brain.
Speaker: There's lots of ways to get trauma unstuck. This is just one of the ways. I love it. Wait. Okay. So speaking of ways to get trauma unstuck, what do you think about this is trending now, of people talking about shakings to like get your trauma moving through your body. yeah But do you think this is crazy?
Speaker: You know what I've learned is that nothing is crazy m and everything is crazy. But and if it works for someone, it works for you. That's so true. Sometimes I do something that I'm like, maybe this is a placebo, but it's working for me. So I'm going to do it. Yeah.
Speaker: Okay, so you were talking about intrusive thoughts. I've like talked to a lot of parents that I think both clients and friends that say like that they have intrusive thoughts or they're like afraid to admit that they have them because, you know, what if I say this thought and people are going to think like, oh, no, we need to like lock her up. So I can't go to therapy or I can't share what's inside my head. Like, do you have people that say that to you or what would you say to that mom? Yeah.
Speaker: So I ask every person who I talk to about intrusive thoughts, and I ask in a really specific way. So first I normalize. I say, you know, have you had any thoughts that are distressing to you? It's really, really common, especially in new parenthood.
Speaker: And then I ask if this has ever happened to them, right? So like they are not their thoughts. If has this has ever happened to you. Usually people say no, and I give a little bit more insight about what it is. You know, they're unwanted, repetitive, usually intrusive thoughts around something bad happening.
Speaker: Like if you're like running down the stairs and like you drop your baby because you're like wearing socks and the stairs are hardwood. And you can see it happening, right? Like you see the baby falling under your arms and it's so distressing and it's really, really upsetting. So after I explain it, most of the people say, oh yeah, I've had that.
Speaker: So I get to give it a name. It's called intrusive thoughts. I get to say how common it is. 90% of moms and 81% of dads and partners experience intrusive thoughts. And i also get to say, your thoughts are not predictive.
Speaker: You're more likely to, in that example, take your socks off when you walk up the stairs or not walk up the stairs with the baby. And you're more likely to keep that baby securely safe in your arms.
Speaker: Research also says that someone who has an intrusive thought is no more likely for that thought to happen than someone who's never, ever had an intrusive thought. So I always that's really reassuring. i know. Isn't that interesting? This is reminding me of like tips I'll give to parents with kids that are having anxiety. So I always like to say two things.
Speaker: One, it to tame it, right? So like just saying to your child, like they're crying because they don't want to go to school instead of like, you're going to be fine. You have so much fun. But like, Sing it.
Speaker: Oh my gosh, you haven't been to school in so long. It's feeling different. We had such a fun summer together. Our days have looked like me and you spending a lot of time together. It feels different. like And that feels a little bit scary.
Speaker: And like helping your kids name it. You have to do that with yourself, too. And then then we can tame it. And then also anxiety. I like the best definition of anxiety, I think, is an overestimation of the problem and an underestimation of your ability to cope with it. So like.
Speaker: If kids are feeling stressed about that, like saying like, okay, we need to right size this problem. So it sounds like that's what you're doing. You're right sizing the problem for the mom. Like, oh, you actually know what to do.
Speaker: And the problem is not that big. Actually, like you would be in the minority if you didn't have intrusive thoughts. And like you're actually safe and you do have the skills of what it takes. And so I think like that regulation, anything that you would like think of how you would regulate your child, I feel like is how we need to remember how to regulate ourselves.
Speaker: Totally. I also like what's the problem right now? m It makes it smaller. Yes. Not that big. What's the problem right now? Okay. Well, I want to ask you a bunch of things. But since we were on the topic of kids feeling anxious and how to regulate yourself and your child, I want to talk about maybe if you have any experience with your almost kindergartner getting ready, how you're feeling and how she's feeling. And I think the transition from preschool to kindergarten, like what feelings may be are being brought up for a lot of parents.
Speaker: You can share your personal experiences or ones that you've had with clients. But let's dive into that. And then we can also give some practical tips to prep for kindergarten. Sure. I'd love that.
Speaker: So I have a daughter. She's going into kindergarten. I cannot believe that. She was just a baby. was just a baby in your class. but I know. That's the biggest thing that's coming up for me. It's this, how bittersweet it is. It's like the grief as a parent. Like, I can't believe I have a child in kindergarten.
Speaker: Yeah. And she's always fine. I joke like, she's fine. Like, I'm the problem. Yeah. That usually is how it goes. Kids are fine. The parents the problem. Yeah. All the things that I hear people are worried about, like the academics and are they ready and are they prepared for kindergarten?
Speaker: i sure I'm worried about that. But I, as a therapist, think about the social emotional part of being in in school and in kindergarten. So like, I'm more worried, like, does she have a buddy on the playground?
Speaker: Do you know what, as an academic educator, i worry more about that, too. That's what I always tell parents. I'm like, kindergarten is for learning. Like, you don't need to be like, oh, are they reading? Do they know all their letters? they know how to this? It's all the social emotional stuff that you want to make sure not to put them in a bubble, but to actually like equip them with things like how to advocate for themselves, like how to like look for a friend, how to ask for help, how to go to the bathroom on their own. So like i always tell parents work on that stuff and they're going to be safe and secure. Don't worry about the academics. So yeah, so you're in a good spot.
Speaker: Yeah, I feel that way too. Education is important so to me and to my husband. It's like, we'll get her what she needs. It doesn't have to be in kindergarten. right like I want her to just have a good experience.
Speaker: And there's so many firsts there's so many firsts that kids have. And it just feels like this is kind of like a different stage of firsts. And one that I might not necessarily be there like,
Speaker: with my camera videoing like her first steps, right? Like I'm not going to be there in kindergarten. um There's some grief that comes with it. So that's what I think about. And like I said, she's totally fine. She's like, kindergarten, here I come.
Speaker: Is this a new school that she'll be going to too? Yes. So she has been in daycare since she was a toddler. Mm-hmm. She also did a CPS pre-K program. Okay. And so this is a different CPS, our neighborhood CPS school, Chicago and Public School. Okay. And all of her friends are going to be there. So she feels really excited.
Speaker: And, you know, I'm sure it'll be hard when we say goodbye at the door of the school. Then I'll maybe cry in my car, but I'll really and do that in front of her Okay, wait, so you said you're going to try not to do that in front of her. Okay, why would you do that? Like, my question is because, okay, this is not where I meant to dive into, but as you might know, people are like...
Speaker: you know, there's been a new wave in parenting and a lot of people are leaning more towards gentle and respectful parenting. But I think there's a lot of misinformation about what that is. So then gentle parenting gets construed in like the wrong way where it's like people think it means like I need to show my child like that I'm crying and like all these things. And so then it's like, no, that's not what gentle parenting is. Like it's we're allowing the feelings as they come. You don't need to like Have your child be the one that consoles you. So you just said, like, cry in the car.
Speaker: Like, why? Like, you're not hiding that you're crying in front of your child. But what's the best thing to do for your child in that moment? Like, can you talk more about that? Yeah. So I want my daughter's feelings to be her feelings. I don't want them to be her feelings and my feelings.
Speaker: I'm already doing that, right? So if she she runs into kindergarten and like hardly says goodbye to me, like I'm going to walk out of that space feeling different. If she's hysterical, of course, like if your kid is crying, like your heart is breaking.
Speaker: I don't want her to worry about me. I want to like like, I've got this. Like I can handle any of her feelings that come up, sadness, anxiety, fear. Like I've got this.
Speaker: even when we don't. But I want to like her to feel not alone and also not like she has to take care of me. Like mom's upset, and so I should be upset too.
Speaker: Yeah, that's so that is such a good reminder. I think that is like the difference I think that people miss. like Obviously, you're not not having emotions in front of her, but you are like showing her like you're her rock, you're the anchor. when kids...
Speaker: i think like when kids have a throw a fit about school or like hit their sibling or are doing any of these things like what they're really asking is and then like they maybe say I hate you or like they run away from you they're really always asking like is this too much for you and like as the parent or as the teacher like the best thing you can do is be like it is not too much for you because that's when the behaviors or the emotions escalate so much because kids are like no one can handle me. And then they're scared of themselves. So I think that is... Totally. And I see that on the opposite end in adulthood, where they have these core beliefs like, I'm too much. Like, my emotions are too much.
Speaker: um So I'm saying this, I know I'm a therapist, but I'm also a parent. So I'm saying this as a parent. There's two things I keep in mind with my kids. I don't want them to feel ashamed. So ashamed about who they are, ashamed about their feelings. And I don't want them to feel alone.
Speaker: yeah Alone in questions, alone in how they're feeling. And if I'm, you know, hysterical at kindergarten drop-off, she might not feel like I'm a safe person for her to go to.
Speaker: Yeah. Do we sometimes shed tears? in front of our kids? Of course. Do I? Of course, right? But this is about, you know, what are you doing most of the time and how can you, you know, really hold space for your kid? How can you repair?
Speaker: How can you talk about it after? Like, and i I say the same thing, right? You name the feeling, you name what's going on. but Yeah, that makes a lot of sense that you're nervous about kindergarten. It's a new school, it's a new teacher, it's new friends.
Speaker: And also, I know that you can do this and we're going to figure it out together. Oh, that's such a good that' such a good script. I always like to remind parents to, like, I think we want to be like, how was school? What did you do? Blah, blah, blah. And I always am like, okay, think about it. The first day, you maybe you work from home and you close your computer and like your spouse comes in and is like, tell me, who did you talk to? Were they nice to you? What did you eat for lunch? Like, what did you wear today? what do you want to do later? Like,
Speaker: it's really overwhelming. You're like, i need a minute. So even with kids, like parents, like I can't get anything out of them about how their day was. So with that, I like to say like both, both of these things. So naming their feelings. And then instead of saying like, is that what you're feeling? Do you feel worried? Kind of like taking it and making it about yourself for a minute. Like, so you're like, I get why you might be nervous. You have A new teacher, a new classroom. This reminds me of when I went to my new job and I didn't know anybody and I didn't even know where the lunchroom was and I felt really nervous. But then I remembered...
Speaker: to take a deep breath. I remembered my brave brain talk and I said, oh, I can ask someone where the lunchroom is. People love to help me, like putting these little affirmations of what you would tell yourself, wink, wink, um in their head. Because, you know, my one of my favorite quotes is how we talk to our kids becomes their inner voice. So if you just start narrating, like, this is what I did for myself. And then I remembered,
Speaker: so I'm good at making friends. I'm going to ask that person if they want to sit and have lunch with me. Or even just like demonstrating to them like, oh, to make a friend, you just have to say, my name is Beth. What's your name? And like showing them the skills of how to do that. And then that's how we can like tame and right size their anxiety.
Speaker: Absolutely. I also think that's really hard for people. Like most people's inner script is pretty negative. And there's an exercise I talk to my clients about doing this positive self-talk exercise.
Speaker: Okay. for Building up to like two minutes, two minutes talking to yourself positively. And it's really hard for people. But if you do that, it kind of flips the script.
Speaker: It absolutely does. I like to say, like, your brain is an algorithm, like just like social media. So um for those that don't use social media, um social media, if you like say you want to start gardening and you have look up a gardening video and maybe you watch three seconds of it and you don't even really pay attention to it. Well, then the next day, the algorithm might show you two gardening videos. And even if you're like, oh I'm not really gardening, but you just kind of watch the videos and you're not like really...
Speaker: motivated yet, slowly you're changing your algorithm to say the longer you watch that video, the more they should show you about it. So I always like to think about that whenever I tell kids how to have like good self-talk, you know, if they're like, I'm bad at this or I can't do that. I'm like, oh,
Speaker: Our brain believes what we say. So you have to say, actually, it's OK if I mess up. Actually, I'm really good at this. And even if it doesn't, like whether it's to your kid or to yourself, even if they don't believe it, the repetition really will slowly change the algorithm of your brain.
Speaker: For some reason, that that analogy that I've that I've come up with works for my brain. Totally. So one of the ways I have conversations with my kids at our dinner table, we do high, low, and curious. So what was your high of the day? What was the low of the day? And what was your curious?
Speaker: I actually came up with it for a client and her family. And I was like, I should also do this with my family. yeah And sometimes when my kids don't want to talk, which they don't, that's fine. I like to use humor too. So I'll be like, oh, you went to the circus today, right? That's what you did at school. You like did acrobats.
Speaker: Yeah. No, that's fine. didn't Oh, what did you do? oh you learned about reading. right. Of course. I love that. That is such a good strategy. I've used that before, too. Like kind of just if they're like not into it, be like, I bet at lunch you sat next to Timmy.
Speaker: And then they'll probably be like, no, I sat next to Brody. Like, and you know, like, so it's kind of like that reverse role kind of thing. Great, great idea. Okay, so i want to talk about red flag, green flag. So um sometimes I will bring like a question or sometimes I'll ask like, what is a red flag or green flag? So I know that I'm throwing this on you, but what's your personal like, oh, here's a red flag. If I'm in an interview, like I would not hire that therapist as a client.
Speaker: Or if you're like, oh, that was such a green flag. So a lot of finding a therapist is about fit. It's actually a predictor of successful outcomes in therapy. So it has to feel like a fit for you. Okay.
Speaker: So I would say don't be afraid if it doesn't feel like a connection and within a couple sessions is to move on. i also think relationships are repairable, even therapeutic ones. um So a green flag for me would be like, do you feel comfortable with this person?
Speaker: Green flag. It's still a new relationship, like any new relationship, a first session. It takes some time to build. But like, do you feel comfortable with this person? feel like this person is present with you? That's really important.
Speaker: So a red flag would be like, is your therapist distracted? Right? Like that wouldn't feel comfortable. Yes. What have my red flags too is... When you are looking for a therapist, it should feel like that therapist is talking to you. Like, yes, this therapist really gets me.
Speaker: A red flag for me is when a therapist is an expert in everything. Agree. You're like, i do maternal mental health. I do divorce. I do, you know, she ah children and adolescents. I do depression and anxiety, trauma. Agree. Like, you're just like, what what do you do?
Speaker: I say agree because I think ah a red flag is when anyone says that they're an expert in everything. like Like, even like when people are like, oh, I'm a teacher, so I know this. And it's like, You can't like even the best speech therapists I have are like, oh, I work with this age. I actually can't answer that question. And like, even though they are trained in more like just like knowing your niche.
Speaker: Any other red flags? Any other red flags? You can be spicy here. people People really spill the tea here. Therapists are like anyone out there, like like teachers, right? There's good ones out there and bad ones out there.
Speaker: none um I would say if you have a negative experience, that's a red flag in itself, um and the green flag would be don't be discouraged.
Speaker: Try again. yeah Okay, good. Okay, great, great. And if you are starting a new therapeutic relationship, also don't feel like you have to start from the beginning. You can start wherever you want. The therapist will catch up.
Speaker: I love that because I think a lot of people are like, I don't even know where I would start. Yeah. Well, it's hard for a new mom to go to therapy. I know. I was just going to ask that. So what do you think are some of the barriers for new moms to start therapy? Yeah.
Speaker: think there's a lot. I think a new mom doesn't want to go to therapy. right There's just time, cost, right? Like, you know what a new mom doesn't have is time. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: I think there's also the fear around judgment, like this need or pressure to be perfect. And if you're not in some way this perfect mom, which as we know doesn't exist, you are doing it wrong or you'll be judged.
Speaker: Yeah. And, oh, I guess that would be another red flag. You should never feel judged by your therapist. Oh, that's good. I think mom feels overwhelmed. So even the act of like making that initial call to call a therapist feels really overwhelming and difficult, let alone thinking about opening up and being so vulnerable to someone.
Speaker: Yeah. I think there's still a stigma with mental health. You know, you want to, this attitude of like, I can handle it on my own. Well, no, no one can handle it on their own. Like, it takes a village to raise children.
Speaker: In any other area that you needed help, you get help. Right? Like, if your child needed a tutor, or it takes a village. You get a tutor. So mental health is the same way. I think there's a stigma with maternal mental health, like this fear that like, oh, my God, my baby's going to be taken away.
Speaker: And you alluded to this. You know, if I tell my therapist what I'm really thinking, she'll either think I'm the worst parent ever or take my baby away. No, of course not. You know, we're here to help.
Speaker: We want to keep you safe and your family safe. Yeah, I love that. And then also, okay so the financial piece I know is a big one. And I know that there's people like you that are doing things to try and help because you have a podcast therapist in your ear. Or is it is it on the your website or is on a podcast? It's both.
Speaker: It's on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. and Yeah, so if you're like afraid of oh, maybe you can't splurge right now or maybe invest. I don't want to say splurge. You can't invest in your mental health right now. Like you can get some practical tips from a therapist in those short little episodes.
Speaker: Yes. The idea is that you have a therapist with you right in your ear. You can like throw in your AirPods, throw in your headphones, and you have expert advice ready. That's amazing. Okay, well, can you give us one? Like, say someone's feeling like really stressed about their child starting school. Like, maybe they have a little bit of PTSD about it. Like, maybe... They had, I'm thinking of like this one mom I know in particular that did not have a good experience with preschool and is like really stressed about sending her child to kindergarten because it was such a hard couple of years with preschool. um I'm thinking of this other mom who... is choosing to homeschool her second grader this year and is like, did I make the wrong choice?
Speaker: um What would you say like to these people? to and Obviously, we can't like tell them what the right answer is, but like what would you say for them to help ground themselves and trust themselves a little bit more?
Speaker: So I would say with parents, I try hone in that parenting confidence. I call it like a motherhood confidence. Like deep down, you know what your child needs.
Speaker: The tricky part is separating yourself and your experiences from your child, right? Like we are, once they cut that umbilical cord, they are no longer a catch to us. So I think you could be on the same team with your child.
Speaker: It's different than like being in it with your child. And I like, um it's like this versus this, right? Like, so not like hands clasped together. Like I can be like with my child. I don't have to be in it with them. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Some really simple like grounding and regulation exercises would be breathing, like 360 degree breathing. ah How do you do that? Want to do it? Okay. Let's do it.
Speaker: Okay. So take a breath.
Speaker: and you Let it out. yeah but Out on this podcast. Okay. Do it again and then tell me what you saw move. Wait. Okay. So but let it out or hold it? yeah deep Okay.
Speaker: Inhale, exhale. And exhale. Okay, what moved?
Speaker: My shoulders. Yeah. Okay. Do you have shoulder tension? Oh, yeah. i always have my shoulders in my ears. Yeah, totally. Okay. So if you take a deep breath to regulate yourself, you're probably going to be more panicked and anxious because you're breathing in your chest and your shoulders. Okay, watch me take a breath. Ready? Okay.
Speaker: Tell me what moves. Okay. It shouldn't be much, right? Yeah, nothing was really moving. Right? I was i was literally looking for something to move. Okay, do it again. Okay, so i put a hand on my diaphragm and I wrap a hand around my ribcage and my back.
Speaker: The idea is to breathe into your back. Oh, this is a Pilates move. I hate when they say say breathe into my hand. I'm like, I don't know how. So one of the ways to do it is if you are sitting down, you can curl your body over your legs so your stomach's kind of compressed and take a deep breath. And that's the sensation of breathing into your back.
Speaker: Oh, great. So you work with little kids. Like, you know, remember circle time? Like, all those kids are breathing. And you can kind of see, like, almost like an accordion. Like, they're like yeah their diaphragms are moving. Their back's moving. And they're, like, moving all together like this. Yes.
Speaker: And then we, like, are in school. And we're sitting in desks all day. And we're over hunched over a computer. And we're on our phones. And then we start to, like, breathe into our chest or, like, our belly. And we, like, don't do that 360-degree breathing.
Speaker: Now i'm going to be doing it all day. i know. It's how cool in the mirror because then you can see what's moving and what's not. But it's really grounding because it kicks up that parasympathetic nervous system. So, you know, instead of that like fight or flight when we're like feeling anxious and like dysregulated, it helps us like regulate everything.
Speaker: I love that. oh my gosh. But I was a therapist that hated breathing. I was like, I hate breathing. I'm, you know, turns out I was doing it wrong. What you just said about regulating our nervous system should be something that, like, we're doing with kids in the classroom throughout the whole Yeah.
Speaker: if you think about it kids are so dysregulated when they come home because we're asking them to be with thirty individuals in a small space to not have any control over when they eat when they get water when they go to the bathroom when they can talk to their friends, when they can play. And that five-year-old body and brain is designed to like know what it needs. And we're like asking it to like be this robot and then also to learn everything, to learn how to read, to learn how to do math, to confident.
Speaker: kind to your friends to like all of those other 30 kids in your class. Like, can you imagine if somebody forced you to like 30 people that you didn't pick?
Speaker: And then also you start to like them and you want to talk to them. And then you're in trouble for talking to them. You're like, well, I thought you were telling me to be nice and to make friends. And here I am making friends. So when do I make friends? And think about all of that dysregulation. Kids aren't getting that breath practice, these things. And then they come home and we're like, Oh, why are you throwing a fit?
Speaker: Yeah. I always say to my husband, like, think like our two-year-olds or think like our five-year-olds. So I'll answer super short. So one is an adult would also be dysregulated by this. Yeah. A kid isn't like an adult being like, I had a really bad day. i just like ate a minute. Right. Like they're throwing a temper tantrum. Yeah. i And so or they're saying to you like, you know, mom, can you play with me?
Speaker: So I really think about that, too. And I think about with kids, there's two ways to protect and keep your kids safe. There's prevention, which is what you described with like the gentle parenting, um and intervention. So prevention might be like you baby proof your entire house before your child even starts to walk.
Speaker: I love. Interven, right? Yeah. It's important. We all do that. Intervention is intervening after the fact. So inevitably, that new walker is going to fall, hurt their knee.
Speaker: And you're there with a Band-Aid and a kiss and like making that better. So if a child has a bad day at school, you can intervene. And like, doesn't to be prevention all the time. Like, that's just not realistic in the world that we live in. um Like, your home gets to be like a safe and trusting place and you get to intervene after. and you know, I'm a big believer in repair.
Speaker: So that's just as effective and just as important. That's such a good reminder. So like, if the parents are feeling stressed, like I've protected my baby for five years and now I'm just ah sending them off to be with these people I don't know in this place that I don't know, like throw in all of the stuff that's happened on like in the media and horrible things that are happening in schools. And it just feels so stressful. So reminding yourself, just like you would remind your child, right size the problem. Like I have created the safe environment at home. I can repair, I can help them regulate when they get home. And
Speaker: Just like you said, like kids don't say, oh my gosh, I had the most insane work day. They say, will you play with me? They throw their dinner at you. They cry. They say, I hate you.
Speaker: And what they're really asking is like, am I safe enough? And I would say like what they're showing that. That you have made them safe enough that they can let go and that they can unwind from the school day. And I think parents can get prepared for that by just like building time into their day for that. Like don't schedule stuff for the first month of school starting. Like know that they're going to need some downtime. Know that you're going to need some downtime, too.
Speaker: That's so important. Okay. I have one plug for you, but Blake and I are doing your on-demand course for kindergartners. Yay.
Speaker: Yay. And I'm a reader. Like I go through phases, but like I read a ton and I'm like, oh my God, have I just memorized a bunch of words? Like, do I know how to read?
Speaker: right So we're both really enjoying it. You know what? That's the best tip that I always give parents is like, Tell them you're learning with them. Like, show them you're on their team. Like, so that's so good for Blake. You're such a good mom that you're like, we're doing this together. Thank you for, you know, making our whole family into readers. oh I love that. oh my gosh. i can't wait to hear how the rest of the course goes.
Speaker: Yes. Very well, Sarah. Okay. Well, thank you for being here. This was such a fun episode. Will you come back in a couple of months to tell us how the kindergarten transition went?
Speaker: I would love to. I'll come back as long as you'll have me. Yay. You're the best. Thank you. Bye.
