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Horror movies we could actually survive
9 Plays25 days ago
Think you'd make it to the end credits? 👀 From haunted houses and masked killers to zombies and supernatural nightmares, we're diving into horror movies we actually think we could survive. Join us as we break down the smartest escape plans, the biggest mistakes, and whether we'd outsmart the villains—or become the opening scene. Which horror movie do you think you'd survive? Let us know in the comments!
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Transcript
Introduction: Topic of Surviving Horror Movies
00:00:41
Speaker
hello everyone welcome back to another amazing episode of the certified jarvis podcast today i'm here but as always you know who else is here the one and only oh yeah that's me good god Don't worry, people. She's a evidently not used to doing podcasts yet. So, know, there is that. But Alyssa, what are we doing today?
00:01:14
Speaker
but What is this live stream about?
00:01:18
Speaker
so this one is about whether or not we think we could survive. Horror movies.
00:01:29
Speaker
Thank you. with with brains not here Hey, Mark. How are you guys doing? Let's fucking go We're going to try and have a great show. I mean, you know, Alyssa's already, you know, we're already screwing up.
00:01:44
Speaker
But, um gosh, horror movies, we could actually survive. That's going to be definitely an interesting um topic today. But Alyssa did choose this. I think it's going to be an amazing topic. So, Alyssa...
00:02:02
Speaker
You start.
Surviving 'Scream': Alyssa's Strategy
00:02:03
Speaker
What horror movie do you think you could really actually survive? Well, I'm going to start out strong right off the bat with Scream.
00:02:16
Speaker
Okay, explain a little bit.
00:02:20
Speaker
I have a very analytical mind, so... It...
00:02:25
Speaker
um
00:02:28
Speaker
it
00:02:31
Speaker
that surviving that comes down to a lot of just.
00:02:51
Speaker
hold on. I got to turn you up a little bit. Because when you.
00:02:58
Speaker
Did your little thing that went down? OK. Hopefully that'll work. um But so with your what would your game plan be against Ghostface, first and foremost? Because let's be honest. Now, OK, so are you going from Scream 1 or are you going from the other Screams? Because remember, there's usually more than one killer.
00:03:28
Speaker
Um, I'm just going from just in general.
00:03:34
Speaker
I kind of want to hear this game plan, though. I want to hear the game plan of it all. Well, first of all, I would block that phone number. I wouldn't ever answer that phone to start out with.
00:03:49
Speaker
Um...
00:03:53
Speaker
And just in general, I i wouldn't continue to...
00:03:59
Speaker
explore more like they do if that makes sense oh so you you wouldn't be looking for trouble you would just maybe just be like hey you know he's out there i'm getting the fuck out great exactly i hear that you you you would be opposite oh it's dude i'm i'm i'm full going after that motherfucker
00:04:26
Speaker
God, one of the horror movies I think I could survive?
Surviving 'My Bloody Valentine': Mark's Approach
00:04:30
Speaker
My Bloody Valentine.
00:04:33
Speaker
And I can tell you why. There's no way in fuck that hitchhiker is going to be swinging that axe very fast. Like, those pickaxes, i hate to to break it to anyone that thinks they would be able to do that, but no, it's... Those pickaxes are not that easy to do.
00:04:51
Speaker
and
00:04:56
Speaker
Well, see, even with the car theory, though, it's been done to death. So you know the killer's going to plan that out. Like, it if... And Mark, you and I have seen horror movie after horror movie after horror movie.
00:05:13
Speaker
The killer is in the backseat.
00:05:18
Speaker
And that's why with why I chose My Bloody Valentine is... He's literally going to be in the shadows. So Harry, Warden, Axel, whoever's the killer, you're going to have to...
00:05:35
Speaker
Fuck you, Mark.
00:05:39
Speaker
Asshole. Just for that. I will. um no i will But, you know, that's the thing with Harry Warden or Axel is that you literally just stay indoors, stay where, you know, it's public and you're fine.
00:05:57
Speaker
I mean, granted, yeah, you walk off for a little bit to go to the can or something, drain the lizard. Yeah, they they're going to be waiting for your ass. But I think like with Alyssa's, it would be so hard to know who to trust first and foremost.
00:06:13
Speaker
Yeah, you could block the number. Yeah, you could be in groups. But who's to say part of that group isn't Ghostface or isn't someone that's going to help Ghostface find you?
00:06:26
Speaker
Like that's the one thing that I think would be the hardest to survive in a screen movie is that you wouldn't know. you seriously wouldn't know who's that killer or killers. I mean, fuck the the one where it was like three different people.
00:06:45
Speaker
i think that was the one right before. but Yeah. I mean, there's been times where I've told her like, Hey, put this ghost face mask on. Let's see what happens.
00:07:02
Speaker
But you know, um, So I chose my bloody Valentine, Alyssa chose scream. What's another one you think you could survive Alyssa?
Surviving 'Insidious': Alyssa's Take
00:07:13
Speaker
o
00:07:16
Speaker
think another one would be insidious.
00:07:22
Speaker
Okay. How? So that one gets a little bit tricky. And I think just because
00:07:33
Speaker
i would
00:07:37
Speaker
I would not go over into that side of things. And if I had family, I would document more.
00:07:51
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, you have to have done their due diligence on the family. Yeah. that That's like fucking conjuring and all that shit. um i think One that I think I could really survive more than anything is probably...
Surviving Zombie Films: Mark's Plan
00:08:10
Speaker
ah i would have to say probably either Night of the Living Dead or Dawn of the Dead. Because seriously, like, Night Living Dead, all you have to do is just... They're walking.
00:08:26
Speaker
So, I mean, honestly, you could tell who's a zombie and who's not a zombie. Granted, now if it's any of the remakes where they can run, then I'm fucked. Because we all know that my running days are are well ah over.
00:08:42
Speaker
But at the same time, like, in Dawn of the Dead... You're literally in a fucking mall. Like, once you barricade that shit down, like, yeah, there's no zombies getting in.
00:08:55
Speaker
Eventually, yeah, you're gonna have the, you're gonna have the, you know, marauders and people that are gonna be like, oh, hey, that looks like a safe place. We should break into that and make it our own. Easy. You pick them off from the fucking roof.
00:09:10
Speaker
And plus, when they had the helicopter, like, yeah, you're, it was running low on gas anyway. But still, you you have that escape. Or just jump in one of the semis and just fucking drive away.
Casual Talk: Moldy Bread and Hosts' Life
00:09:27
Speaker
I read that wrong, Mark. I thought you said I could i could survive any of them. I was about to be like, bullshit, dude. You're in worse shape than I am.
00:09:41
Speaker
ah So I would I'd pick either night or dawn of the dead. um Day, there's no way in fucking hell. Being in that bunker, I would I would go stir crazy in that bunker mall.
00:09:55
Speaker
There's so much to do in the mall. Like, fuck could you imagine dawn of the dead happening? Me and you were going to Mall of America like fuck everything else. There'd be so much shit to do.
00:10:07
Speaker
And that's why, like, even in Dawn of the Dead, like, I had so much hard time being like, why would you go stir crazy that quick? Like, yeah, you're not.
00:10:20
Speaker
and Life is never returning to normal in those movies. But at the same time, like, there'd be still so much shit to do. And you have you have ways to at least get in and out of the mall.
00:10:32
Speaker
So it was, yeah. I didn't understand that part, but that's another movie I gotta watch. I've been watching so many. Like, I watched the new episode of Dutton. i haven't watched it yet, so shh. Oh, it's so funny. you're You'll laugh.
00:10:49
Speaker
She would use me as bait. Like, if if it's me or her zomb and in a zombie apocalypse, she'd kiss me and just push me off. Or shoot me in the leg.
00:11:01
Speaker
Oh, yeah. She'll say that. I don't you're talking about. Uh-huh. Leave me for almost two weeks. Go on vacation without me, asshole. Hasn't been two weeks. It's been a week. It's been almost two weeks.
00:11:19
Speaker
Still, that's long enough. Need my wife. have needs, have thoughts, have things I need to get done. Well, that's not necessarily true. So all the bread that we got, those buns went bad.
00:11:37
Speaker
Mold.
00:11:40
Speaker
The dinner rolls that your mom gave us.
00:11:45
Speaker
Oh. Yeah, they went bad. Okay. Not in the end of the world. Not in the end of the world.
Surviving 'Halloween': Alyssa's Strategy
00:11:50
Speaker
um What's another movie you think you could escape from?
00:11:58
Speaker
Shut up, Mark.
00:12:06
Speaker
I think Halloween. Ooh, okay. I want to hear this one.
00:12:16
Speaker
i think
00:12:21
Speaker
I think I could escape him and That one, i wouldn't go hunting for him. i wouldn't try to bait him. wouldn't.
00:12:33
Speaker
I would try to leave him alone. And and then additionally, i would stay the hell away from that town.
00:12:47
Speaker
Well, I mean, he does go to he does go to california
00:12:54
Speaker
But I mean, at the same time, like the only way I would say I would never be able to survive Halloween is you never know where that fucker is going to be. Right. Like you're bolting away from him. You slow down.
00:13:09
Speaker
And see, I agree. ah but but But Mark, I also say that he i I would lose. That doesn't matter.
00:13:21
Speaker
He may be slow, but here's the thing. You're going to look behind. He's going to be there. You're going to look back again after you slow down. He's not there. So, like, that's why, like, with the Halloween game, there's got to be some way that that fucker, even walking slow, not running anything, that he speeds up to where he can be there.
00:13:45
Speaker
Because, I mean, that's the thing, like...
00:13:49
Speaker
it's never been that they can run as fast as me that would scare the shit on me. Cause at that point, you know, you're done. It's that inevitable feeling that eventually Michael's going to get you.
00:14:00
Speaker
Like he's, you're going to make that mistake. And with him, he's not going to like, yeah, when, when they did the niece storyline bullshit, like, yeah, he made mistakes because they wanted to prolong the, the, that they were never going to show you,
00:14:17
Speaker
Michael back in the day killing a little what eight, nine year old Jamie. They were never going to show that because it's like so many parents would have.
00:14:29
Speaker
Oh, well, it surprised me. Well, yeah, I know that Mark, but it surprised me how much shit that, well, John Carpenter probably did when he made assault on precinct 13, where um the little girl gets killed.
00:14:48
Speaker
You know, I mean, that that back in the day was... I'm really surprised that he didn't get arrested for some of that shit back in the days.
00:14:59
Speaker
Because, I mean, people could have lost their shit about it. And I'm sure some did. i mean, even hell and Halloween, I'm sure people lost their shit. but But that's the thing. With Michael, it's like, you're never out of danger.
00:15:15
Speaker
And I think that's why I've always said, even with how they did the later movies where Laurie Strode's his sister and all that shit, you never needed to come up with that solution for him going after. It's he literally the reason why he became so synonymous and so everyone was afraid of him was because you always thought, when is he coming back?
00:15:40
Speaker
The fear. of Michael Myers is what made that spread. And so that's why I would say even if he's slow, like you get in a car, he's already in that fucking car.
00:15:56
Speaker
You get in a boat, that fuckers in a boat.
00:16:01
Speaker
Yeah. um You go
Analyzing Michael Myers' Horror Factor
00:16:04
Speaker
in the house. The fucker's already in the house waiting for you to get in there. I mean, it's he's and that's why I've always said with the Halloween franchise, if they ever.
00:16:17
Speaker
want to do it where it's just him being him and people are like, well, that's not scary. He needs to be after a family member or not something. No, the whole reason Halloween was scary is because this guy is so methodical.
00:16:30
Speaker
He doesn't need to have a high kill count like Jason or Freddie does. It's that he's methodical in what he does. Like how many serial killers do you know in real life would have literally As soon as they killed one person in the house.
00:16:49
Speaker
Goes upstairs. And a ghost sheet. With the glasses of the boyfriend on. Kills her. Had already killed Annie before.
00:17:01
Speaker
But what he does is he brings them back in the house and he poses them. Like how many, like that is the thing that like people always wonder about, well, what was their relationship like?
00:17:12
Speaker
Fuck that shit. I want to know this motherfucker is able to bring in these bodies and not one single person is questioning, like looking out a window, walking on the street, like it for a movie called Halloween, those people are indoors very quickly.
00:17:30
Speaker
Like I remember trick or treat and I was out until almost 10 o'clock at night with my parents. But we were also in neighborhoods we knew. So it's like... that That was the part that I didn't understand.
00:17:43
Speaker
And with my next choice... The one movie I know I'm not surviving...
Surviving 'The Blob': Mark's Cold Climate Tip
00:17:51
Speaker
It's in the script. um The one movie I definitely know no one's surviving is the thing.
00:18:01
Speaker
Because when it can... Assimilate and take over and make it look like you there's no way in hell no one surviving that fucking thing I that there's other movies that I know I can survive but I know for a fact I'm not surviving the thing Because that thing is going to assimilate with my wife Trick me into believing she's gonna do certain things and then I'm dead Because I'm going to be like, oh, hey, this is a new thing. And it's going to be like, yeah, you're dead now.
00:18:36
Speaker
But I think
00:18:41
Speaker
um the blob. I could survive the blob.
00:18:49
Speaker
Because honestly, that that fucking thing, it needs things to eat. So as long as I'm in fucking Antarctica, Alaska,
00:19:00
Speaker
Don't give a fuck. No, because the blob doesn't like the cold. True. So, honestly, you stay away from warm areas. I'm good.
00:19:11
Speaker
I'm dumb fucking crystal clear. I can live in Alaska. Yeah. Yeah, like you'd ever want to live in Alaska. Or Texas, sorry.
00:19:26
Speaker
Gotta remember, Alyssa, we're married, so wherever you go, I kinda have to go.
00:19:32
Speaker
At least that's what they keep telling me. Granted, when I get great opportunities, it's always, well, you know, you can go by yourself.
00:19:44
Speaker
I'm still holding that North Dakota.
00:19:49
Speaker
Granted, i I probably wouldn't have stayed, but still. um What's another movie that you think you would survive?
Is Surviving 'Final Destination' Possible?
00:20:00
Speaker
I'm gonna flip a little bit. Okay. One I think I'm deaf. I definitely wouldn't is
00:20:27
Speaker
Final destination. Oh yeah, no one's surviving that shit. No one is surviving Final Destination. do think i can outright I don't think I can outrun Fate on that one.
00:20:40
Speaker
ah Well, and that's the thing. like every every Everyone thinks they could, but honestly like the best thing you can ever say about Final Destination is it no matter where you go, it could kill I mean, hell, when I used to drive non-emergency and I would have to go down to one of the big hospitals down there, they're working on construction. You see the big fucking container overhead on the sky crane. Like, that thing could have killed me.
00:21:15
Speaker
and of course, you know, the time that I was bringing you, we moved in and i got behind that, almost got behind the car hauler. Oh, fuck that shit. I would have gladly taken the speeding ticket that day.
00:21:30
Speaker
i ain't getting behind that cocksucker. um Damn, you know, that would have been a great one. Movies that we could slash couldn't survive. um i mean, that's kind of what the episode turned into anyways. yeah Another one i could survive?
00:21:53
Speaker
Paranormal Activity. Because once that shit started ramping up, I'm telling that bitch, I don't give a fuck if that woman is a 10. I'm out the door. i don't give a fuck if that woman is the best in bed. I'm out the door. No siree.
00:22:11
Speaker
I am out that door. Get out. yep Nice neighborhood. Lovely place for the kids. Get out. yep See ya. Fuck ya. Bye.
00:22:25
Speaker
Nope. My game plan is i don't give a fuck how good that the i don't give a fuck how good the head game is. I don't give a fuck how good the other stuff is.
00:22:36
Speaker
Nope. Fucking Micah could have Miko, whatever his name is, he could have saved himself a lot of trouble. Just get the fuck out.
00:22:49
Speaker
Another movie that you think you could survive.
Surviving 'The Conjuring': Alyssa's Belief
00:22:55
Speaker
I think I could survive the contrary.
00:23:03
Speaker
I want to actually hear that. Yeah.
00:23:07
Speaker
I think I could survive it. And that I think I would pick up on the cues a little bit student related.
00:23:20
Speaker
um and get out of there sooner than they did.
00:23:27
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, that that would definitely be an interesting one. um
00:23:35
Speaker
how how long How long do you think you would be able to last the bear?
00:23:43
Speaker
Which one? Because, I mean, they did the... job m
00:23:51
Speaker
so the first one
00:24:02
Speaker
I may well that's a good question um I mean as soon as that shit starts hitting the fan if I'm old enough I'm going with my dad on the road fuck that shit
00:24:19
Speaker
like And that's the that's the sad thing about it is that you know he got to escape. And once once the thing took over the mother, like those kids were fucked.
00:24:34
Speaker
Right. um As for the second one,
00:24:43
Speaker
the second one really wasn't
00:24:47
Speaker
I don't know. I guess the second one second one wasn't really that big of a deal, in my opinion. like For all the cases that the Warrens did, that ah i think it's the Enfield Poltergeist is the one that the second one was about.
00:25:03
Speaker
like I don't know. Because like there was so many people that met that family and would actually like stay with them to record the paranormal and literally said they were faking it.
00:25:17
Speaker
So like, I don't know. um The third one, which is, i think that's the one that the devil made me do it or whatever, which was, i that one wasn't based on Amityville Horror, but just stay away from possessed people.
00:25:41
Speaker
I mean, that's that's as good as you can. That's why i got para that's why I'm never in paranormal activity. Like, there's no way in fucking hell that shit's going to happen to me. um one that i Another one that I think I could survive is Tex Chainsaw Massacre.
Surviving 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre': Mark's Country Skills
00:26:01
Speaker
Because I was born in the country. ah Fuck that family. Like, yeah, Leatherface gonna be a challenge, but no, those other fuckers, now Fuck them.
00:26:12
Speaker
Fuck the cook, I'd easily beat his old ass to death. But you're ganged up on him by multiple.
00:26:21
Speaker
Grandpa, don't i have to worry about his old ass. And Hitchhiker, all you need to really do is shoot him once and he's done. But, like, Leatherface, like,
00:26:36
Speaker
That one might be hard. i Now that you... Well, granted, c Sissy and them didn't exist in the movies, so you don't have to worry about the ones from the game. Right. so it's literally you're just worried about the main three, which is Leatherface, The Cook, and Hitchhiker.
00:26:56
Speaker
You take out the two, Leatherface is dumb enough you could literally just You could hide anywhere. Granted, eventually he'll catch up to you because, you know, he can run and he's got the saw.
00:27:09
Speaker
The only thing is that it's really going to fuck you up as he gets you with the saw.
00:27:15
Speaker
um One movie I know I couldn't survive is Jaws because I'm not. No. That shark starts coming. Like, I'm OK.
00:27:28
Speaker
Like, there's no way in the hell I'm surviving that movie.
00:27:33
Speaker
buck that as soon as that ship starts going down, I'm taking that gun and I'm fucking doing myself and nope. ah Another one that you think you could survive, Alyssa.
Surviving 'Friday the 13th': Alyssa's Deception Method
00:27:47
Speaker
Ooh.
00:27:55
Speaker
What's one you think i could survive?
00:28:02
Speaker
I think Friday the 13th.
00:28:09
Speaker
Because honestly, even part two, because honestly, you would put two and two together to do like what Ginny did, where she puts on Pamela or the mother's sweater.
00:28:23
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, I can see that. Granted, could honestly see you doing it to the point where he wouldn't find out that you weren't Pamela. Like she moved out of the way and he saw her and was like, oh, shit, that's not my mom.
00:28:39
Speaker
um Another one I think I could do, Tremors.
00:28:47
Speaker
Stay off the fucking ground.
00:28:51
Speaker
Yeah, but you would still hit the ground somehow. Well, yeah, but then make sure you're close enough to something that's a huge-ass rock or, you know, stay away from the fucking desert area. look like Kevin Bacon out there.
00:29:08
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Be cooking bacon. um Another one you think you could survive.
00:29:40
Speaker
I'm blanking. Yeah, see, that that's the thing. like when you When you said the the topic, i was like, ooh, that one's going be interesting.
00:29:54
Speaker
But I mean, still, at the same time, it it it it was a great topic. I enjoyed talking about it.
00:30:03
Speaker
It's just, there's so many horror movies. One, I know I'm not surviving as Saw.
00:30:11
Speaker
I don't think anybody would. Because Jigsaw, that that fucker, he plays with your mind so much. like I made it through one movie and that was enough. It's too much of a puzzle.
00:30:22
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:26
Speaker
Maleficent. Fuck that movie. Fuck that movie and all it stood for. cool
00:30:39
Speaker
I don't think I'd survive that one. Because just when you think you have figured out, you don't. Or you get a fucking major headache from it.
00:30:51
Speaker
Like this guy did. god that movie. um
00:31:01
Speaker
So, all in all, which one of us do you think would survive the most? You.
00:31:10
Speaker
Because my fight or flight instinct kicks in. And with me... No, there's no question about it. You are smarter than me. like Now, I will admit this.
00:31:23
Speaker
If anyone's going to go down guns blazing or going down swinging, it's going to be me.
00:31:33
Speaker
That's why, like, any... ah if I was ever approached to be in a horror movie, I would tell him straight out. If you have to kill me, fine. I'm fine with that. No horror movie.
00:31:44
Speaker
I'm not going to be one of those people. That's going to like, no, I got to be the hero the, of the story. No, just make it look good. I remember when we talked to Peter Anthony, when me and Mark did our show together before he went did talking shit and, you know, did better than I could ever do. Yeah.
00:32:02
Speaker
Um, when we talked with him the first Peter Anthony, the first time I told him, I'm like, Hey, if you want me to be in your movie, you don't have to pay me. Just make it look good. Make make the kill look really good.
00:32:14
Speaker
That's all I care about. Um, now
00:32:23
Speaker
in some of those scenarios, I think I'd probably be more better equipped. Like, of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, I think I'd be better equipped with being in a mall for a long period of time.
00:32:36
Speaker
you You need to socialize me. ah I'm fine staying at home, going to work, coming back home, doing fucking nothing. Yeah, I would be the one that would ghost your crazy sooner. Yeah. For sure.
00:32:49
Speaker
Yeah. I'm not enough anymore. I'm bug. No, just a social bug. I'm trying.
00:32:58
Speaker
But yeah, I don't, there's so many of those movies that I think I could survive, but it would be so fricking hard to survive them. Right.
Rating Survival Odds in Horror Scenarios
00:33:10
Speaker
Like, so all in all, where would you put your like survival rating at overall?
00:33:21
Speaker
Hmm. Four out of 10.
00:33:28
Speaker
Because even if you survive those movies, you're still going to either have the mental scars or the physical scars. And with me, I'd probably have more than likely my body would probably be pretty fucked.
00:33:41
Speaker
I would probably put mine a higher, like six out of 10. Well, yeah, because like we've said, stated, you know, you, you, you're smarter and, you know, you would be able to analytically process each plan out better than I would like me.
00:33:58
Speaker
Fuck that. If you give me a fucking... For, like, the dead ones. If you give me a semi or something, yeah, I'm... I ain't fucking taking a second thought. Like, I'm getting the fuck out.
00:34:12
Speaker
But, like, with Halloween and all that, you you have to take into a factor. He's probably going to be in the back of the whatever vehicle you're going to get into. Is he in the house as soon as you get in the house?
00:34:23
Speaker
what How many are you going to have to lock? How many windows? Is there somewhere he can climb up? You know? um i think that is the one thing that most people wouldn't be able to survive in horror movies about. Is because with us, we would plan shit out.
00:34:46
Speaker
we're already thinking, okay, that's a nice house, nice big house, but here's the thing. How many ways are they going to get in Basement, climbing up the roof, ladder, whatever. you know it's And with most of them, they can wait you out.
00:35:03
Speaker
So it's like, it sucks. But I mean, it if it was like a head-to-head thing, you're winning no matter what. Because like I said, you're so analytical in how you're going to process that to the point where it would just be another thing of, well, I have to give up my husband, kick me down the stairs, I'm done for. And you survive. Like, that's the thing like horror movies never, like so many people in horror movies would be like, oh, I'd never do that. It's like bullshit.
00:35:37
Speaker
Like, yeah, you're going to feel bad about it. But at the same time, it's like, I have to live.
00:35:44
Speaker
So, but you know, I think, okay, go ahead. which Which movie do you think gives us together the best odds?
00:36:06
Speaker
I'd say probably Halloween.
00:36:14
Speaker
I can't say scream because, again... Again. you think Halloween. Yeah, it's one guy. i already know who the fuck he is. mean, like, most people are like, whoa, is that him?
00:36:26
Speaker
is that him? No, it's motherfucker in the white mask. But like you like you said, though, he pops out of nowhere. Well, let's see, but that's the thing. Being raised out in the country, Alyssa, you realize both of us were.
00:36:40
Speaker
The situation is much different because... yeah we weren't raised in that part of society where it's like, oh, we can trust this person. Oh, no, let's go in the basement where it's dark and scary and there's no power. Like, nothing can happen to us there. Bullshit. We're both thinking, like, no, he's fucking in there waiting.
00:37:02
Speaker
Like, no. Like... And granted, yes, we may survive Dawn of the Dead and all that. Yeah. But honestly, like, that's a huge gamble because you're going to be it's in ah an apocalyptic setting to the point where you're literally.
00:37:22
Speaker
No matter where you go, it's going to be hard to get out of there. So with Halloween, like, all you have to do is just make sure that you outsmart the guy.
00:37:34
Speaker
And, you know, starting him on fire probably isn't a bad thing.
00:37:43
Speaker
Because, I mean, Michael, even though he's got the power of pure evil and all that shit, he's still fallible.
00:37:52
Speaker
It's just, you have to outsmart him.
00:37:58
Speaker
But what movie do you think we would ultimately survive? Or you would ultimately survive? Two questions. I think
00:38:11
Speaker
the one that gives us the best odds together. Hmm. Hmm.
00:38:41
Speaker
a
00:39:02
Speaker
You know, I think I would agree with you on it.
00:39:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:15
Speaker
But which one do you think would give us the worst odds to together? The thing. Because again, it can assimilate. How do you know it's really me and how do I know it's really you?
00:39:29
Speaker
Like, I know all the things you won't do for me, so it's like, and I already know right then and there when that thing's like, oh, hey, I'll go i'll i'll give you a good blowjob. It's like, well, I already know that's not her.
00:39:41
Speaker
whatever. that That stopped a while ago, so it's like, yeah, nah. Yeah, I think I would put it as Final Destination.
00:39:53
Speaker
That's another good one. kate Yeah. I can't believe they're already making another one. Are they really? Yep.
00:40:04
Speaker
That and they're already writing Five Nights at Freddy's 3.
00:40:13
Speaker
But... I think that's good for tonight. I don't know why. i just i think this was a good I think this was a good conversation. yeah um Well, I'll talk more about it after.
00:40:27
Speaker
But thank you everyone for... coming tonight sorry was a little bit early but you know alissa's still on vacation the lucky fucker um leaves her husband behind you know um so whenever she says you know she's nice and loves her husband and all that bullshit um well well Not necessarily because, but i mean, look at how much of a pain the ass it was to get this drug test and all that scheduled.
00:41:04
Speaker
And not knowing when it was going to be scheduled. So it's like that and more miles and all that shit on the car, which right now is probably not a good idea. Yeah.
00:41:16
Speaker
um But thank you all for joining us. Also, go check out Talking Shit.
Conclusion: Podcast Recommendations and Farewell
00:41:21
Speaker
You can find them anywhere where you listen to podcasts, including Facebook or YouTube. Go check out Good Real Hunting, another amazing one. If you love art, go check out Elfie on TikTok.
00:41:37
Speaker
She doesn't do lives every day, but when she does, she's usually drawing or doing something really cool. Just the attention to detail that she does, amazing. Also, good go check out the Horror Report.
00:41:53
Speaker
um That is Kyle Curtis Flett's new show. He's an amazing, amazing personality. um They all are in their own certain ways. Unless you don't like Brian. I mean, that florida like most of that Florida, not Florida shit, I think he would be he'd be the person behind it. He'd be the perfect trainer.
00:42:12
Speaker
But, you know, um thank you so very much for showing the love and support that you do for the show. um If you're new to the channel, please hit that follow button or subscribe button as it does help us grow. Also like and send us a comment, you know, don't be don't be mean, but be like, hey, you know, that was pretty good here, you know.
00:42:33
Speaker
And if you have any constructive criticism, we always will accept that advice. um I know one thing next Friday, Alyssa will be back here.
00:42:44
Speaker
Thank God. Cause you know, Steven's getting lonely. Um, and it's going to be so much fun. So what are we going to do next Friday? Alyssa for the show?
00:42:57
Speaker
To be determined. Oh boy. Someone got sunburned.
00:43:07
Speaker
Still ain't getting you out of what's coming on Sunday. Oh, it doesn't hurt anymore. I did that last weekend. Again, thank you so very much. This show will be going up as soon as this is done.
00:43:20
Speaker
We're also going to hopefully get this on some destinations like Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and some other places. So if you don't watch live, you can always watch replay, or you can always listen to it on any destination or platform. Thank you so very much. I'm Stephen Jarvis.
00:43:38
Speaker
I'm Alyssa. We are the Certified Jarvis Podcast. Happily married.
00:43:45
Speaker
Questionably certified. She actually got it that time. Round of applause. That's why I picked that your first part, because I cannot say questionably to save my ass. So thank you all so very much. And if you're new to streaming, go hit this...
00:44:05
Speaker
link you'll get ten dollar discount on your very first account always cool you know ten dollars man that that's a lot nowadays so but anyway i'm gonna go i'm gonna let my wife go and i'm gonna make something because i'm hungry but i don't know if i'm gonna get doordash and then this time hopefully i won't use my wife's card because i've fucked that up all right see y'all later bye them.