Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to Elixir Radio, a podcast brought to you by Elixir Media Co.
Speaker: I'm your host, Tanya Jane, and I'm so excited to journey with you on this beautiful exploration of creativity, self-expression, business strategy, and what it truly takes to embody and revolutionize your entire brand, business, and life.
Speaker: This is a podcast for the revolutionary heart-led, Aquarian-age leader ready to rise, elevate, dismantle, disrupt, and lead with their edge.
Speaker: Honor their unique self-led brand and soul lessons.
Speaker: It is my God-given purpose to help you share your story in a way that honors your soul and elevate your growth, to empower you to deepen your relationship with self so you can show up powerfully in all aspects of your life and guide you to your fiercest self-expression so you never have to dim your voice or light again for anyone.
Speaker: This podcast will help you follow your fire.
Speaker: You know, that thing you can't stop thinking about, the thing that lights you up, that you wake up at at 3 a.m.
Speaker: every night.
Speaker: and chase your big, hairy, scary, and audacious dreams so you can make them a reality instead of playing small.
Speaker: Saddle up, wild one.
Speaker: It's time to come home to yourself and share your story with others who need your medicine.
Speaker: Your life has multiple layers to it and so do you.
Speaker: It's time to express all of who you are, however you desire.
Speaker: My motto has always been bring the soul back into social media and show up online and in real life as you are.
Speaker: Unapologetic, activated, and bold.
Speaker: Are you ready to fly?
Speaker: Let's go.
Speaker: Welcome Chaz.
Speaker: Thank you so much for being on my show finally.
Speaker: Yay.
Speaker: I'm so happy to have you here and I cannot wait for the world to meet you.
Speaker: Yay.
Speaker: Chaz, tell us a little bit about yourself.
Speaker: What makes you come alive?
Speaker: And how did you end up doing what you're doing?
Speaker: Ooh, that's a good question.
Speaker: Cause when you first said it was like, Oh, tell me about yourself.
Speaker: I was like, I'm 45.
Speaker: So we could have a long story time here right now, or we can always go back to the lights me up and what brings me here to where I am today.
Speaker: much shorter version.
Speaker: I do believe that like your purpose is like your entire life and everything that you've experienced into now.
Speaker: And so everything that I've experienced in the last 45 years of my life has brought me to where I am now.
Speaker: And who am I?
Speaker: My name is Chas.
Speaker: I am an anti-hustle business coach.
Speaker: I am based out of Calgary, Alberta.
Speaker: I am
Speaker: Married for 18, no, 17 years, and we've been together for 22.
Speaker: My baby girl is graduating this year and is going to move away.
Speaker: And then my boy's in grade 11.
Speaker: So in coming into this big next few years of transition,
Speaker: but which has always been like my goal.
Speaker: So like I had this five-year plan of this is what's going to happen in five years.
Speaker: And now it's like two years away.
Speaker: And so it was like, things are going.
Speaker: And so with that in mind, I'm very purpose-driven and very, I'm a dreamer.
Speaker: And so it's like, I have these dreams inside of me about what I desire in my life, what I want my life to look like.
Speaker: and how I want to feel living that life.
Speaker: And so I then create my life to do that.
Speaker: And I didn't always be that way.
Speaker: I've owned different businesses before.
Speaker: And then I had a day job teaching other people businesses.
Speaker: And I've burnt out being self-employed.
Speaker: I burnt out working at the day job.
Speaker: And so this business as a coaching business, I'm like hardcore business.
Speaker: not burning out.
Speaker: So boundaries are up.
Speaker: Schedule is on.
Speaker: And there we go.
Speaker: This is how I'm creating the life that I want to live.
Speaker: And I believe with all my heart that my purpose and my being on this planet is to help other women create the life that they want.
Speaker: That we all have that power to be co-creators with the universe, with God, with source, however you identify.
Speaker: to create what it is that you want because you have a desire that's been given to you and therefore it can happen.
Speaker: And our heads and our minds get in the way of it 100% of the time.
Speaker: And that's why I'm a coach is to help you like move past those thoughts and feelings and beliefs so that you can create the life that you want to live.
Speaker: And I believe that business is probably the best tool for
Speaker: to express your soul and to create that because it allows you to have the flexibility and the freedom if you choose to desire that and to make that happen.
Speaker: Or you can treat it as a job.
Speaker: That's your choice.
Speaker: Okay, that's me blurbing, blabbing.
Speaker: I love that.
Speaker: I totally was like, yeah, you're so right.
Speaker: And I realized that the mic was muted, but that's okay.
Speaker: That's why we are...
Speaker: That's why we have podcast editing and that's why there's a mute button, which makes it all seem pretty great.
Speaker: There's so much gold in what you just said.
Speaker: And I want to pull that a little bit deeper because we're in a new year, new Gregorian calendar year, because I personally don't follow...
Speaker: this new year and growing up i used to wonder what the hell is wrong with me why do i not feel like as soon as it's jammed perfect like i never felt that however come february and march i was like yeah like this is awesome i learned of course as we all do eventually that there's a difference our bodies are wired to nature's rhythm and
Speaker: And spring, to be honest, is more of a new year for me.
Speaker: Like right now, I feel like I'm in this reset.
Speaker: Like we have a little bit, like before the plane takes off, it's like there's a runway you can go.
Speaker: So I feel like Jan to Feb, like Q1 really is that runway.
Speaker: Runway truly starts in Q4 of the previous year.
Speaker: But it's like you have to go through all the cleanup.
Speaker: And then now you're cleaning up remnants, setting up all the things.
Speaker: So all this to say,
Speaker: I think we'd both probably be so rich right now if we count on our hands, probably way more.
Speaker: The amount of 2022 posts that I've gone up and the 2023 word of the year predictions, intentions.
Speaker: And one of the themes that I've been seeing is there are two camps this year.
Speaker: I mean, I never felt it before in previous years, but this year I feel like there's the camp that we're going to do it all.
Speaker: And we're just going to turn up the table and like,
Speaker: conquer the shit out of everything and then there's the camp of no like we're just gonna keep sight of our vision but like we're not gonna change 10 000 things we're gonna focus on what works double down on what works and then tweak and make one to two behavioral changes right and what you said with your journey i feel like it's so parallel the new year new you feel that people go through
Speaker: And you can burn out in business.
Speaker: We know I have.
Speaker: You have.
Speaker: You can totally burn out in a job.
Speaker: And what would you say to someone listening right now if they wanted to start or go through this year without the burnout?
Speaker: Like, where would they start?
Speaker: Oh, the first thing that like the whole thing that while you're talking about, I'm like, let's get rid of the freaking calendar thing because it puts so much pressure on people.
Speaker: It puts so much pressure on us that in January, we're going to do this.
Speaker: We're the big dreamers.
Speaker: We're like, go, this is so exciting.
Speaker: Let's do all these things.
Speaker: And then that feeling wears off and then we crash and we feel like crap about ourselves and we like slow down, give up and allow the drama to come in.
Speaker: But if we look at our businesses as our lives, as the calendar, as more, it's seasonal.
Speaker: And so this was one of the biggest things that I've learned for like managing, not just planning out the programs that I offer in my business, but how to manage my energy is like looking at it over the year.
Speaker: And it's like, I'm a sun person.
Speaker: So it's like, I'm energized quickly.
Speaker: creative, everything when the sun is out.
Speaker: And when it's rainy and cloudy, I'm not.
Speaker: And so it's like learning where your energy is over the grand scheme of the year.
Speaker: So like winter has always been traditionally a time to slow down and reflect and like internally, like, look back and
Speaker: and plan ahead if we go back into farmer land and enter like the harvest is done you rest you recover what went well what didn't yep what can we plan for spring and so if we look at it that way then spring is okay and like we can just look at it it doesn't need to be a date on a calendar but it's like a spring this is the time where i get to come out and play plant some seeds
Speaker: Have some fun.
Speaker: And then summer, I'm like relaxing a little bit, enjoying watching things grow, watching things happen.
Speaker: And like just in a different laid back kind of vibe.
Speaker: And then fall is more of the harvest time is more than moving forward.
Speaker: It is more like doing the work.
Speaker: So I look at like spring and fall as being like times of work and creativity for me.
Speaker: And whereas like winter is more laid back and summer is more relaxed.
Speaker: And so that's over the annual year.
Speaker: But then if we look at like per month, okay, look, we can talk women because we are.
Speaker: What's my monthly schedule?
Speaker: Like, what's my monthly cycle?
Speaker: Like, I'm very moon connected to the moon.
Speaker: So in full moon time, my brain's going 100 miles an hour.
Speaker: And it needs to be intentionally connected.
Speaker: slow down, like I need to halt the brakes or I'll spiral and in not a good way.
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: I'll spiral into anxiety because I have so much in my head.
Speaker: So I have to like, intentionally slow down then.
Speaker: And more so around the new moon, then I am more energized.
Speaker: Like I know a lot of it is more like rest around new moon time, but I tend to have more energy
Speaker: more grounded energy then.
Speaker: But even then, okay, when my period is, okay, let's just have this discussion.
Speaker: I'm in perimenopause, so it doesn't ever start or end anymore.
Speaker: It's just whatever the hell happens, it happens.
Speaker: But I know, like, when I was, like, super regular not to do anything three days prior, I
Speaker: Because I'm going to personally take it personally and probably end up crying and be hurt by it.
Speaker: So it's just like that's a little bit more of a dark time for me.
Speaker: And then like as soon as I get my period, then I have the energy and everything changes then.
Speaker: But for me, it was like three days before where it's just everything's going to hurt my feelings.
Speaker: So we just need to plan that.
Speaker: And then so I plan my energy and what I do in my business around the month.
Speaker: And then I plan my week.
Speaker: based on what do I want?
Speaker: What do I don't want?
Speaker: I don't ever want to work Fridays, afternoons.
Speaker: I don't work weekends.
Speaker: I don't work evenings anymore.
Speaker: I did that in my day job, not doing it ever again.
Speaker: Because that was like what made me burn out because I was sacrificing my family.
Speaker: And so I'm like, I have my own business, my rules.
Speaker: No evenings, no weekends, done.
Speaker: No Friday afternoons.
Speaker: Mondays, I have a schedule.
Speaker: That's more of like my creative time.
Speaker: I don't take calls on then.
Speaker: And Wednesdays is like when it's nice out, that's when I go kayaking.
Speaker: And so I can take calls.
Speaker: Whatever I can do on my phone on Wednesdays is fine.
Speaker: But otherwise, I have like client calls and other calls on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Speaker: And so I design my work week based on my natural energy and how I want my days to look.
Speaker: And I know we've talked about that.
Speaker: So then it goes down.
Speaker: Okay, what do I want my days to look like?
Speaker: Because like burnout for me has always come from being out of control and having things out of my control.
Speaker: So my schedule is 100% within my control.
Speaker: especially as a business owner.
Speaker: And so I just remind myself that this is within my control, therefore done.
Speaker: And it's funny because an old client, not old, but past client, we worked together for six months and she came back to me like in December and she was like, I'm so thankful for the work that we did because I was getting really stressed out and wanted to quit my business in December because I was so overwhelmed with all the things that like old me would have just quit.
Speaker: And, but she's no, I just set my rules.
Speaker: I'm only taking clients Tuesday night.
Speaker: And that was it.
Speaker: And then she changed her perspective too on like, cause posting on social media really stresses out a lot of my clients, but she's, she shifted her thoughts around that into being like, I'm intentionally not posting on social media right now.
Speaker: I don't need to.
Speaker: And she's still got clients.
Speaker: And because she has other marketing streams,
Speaker: on the go.
Speaker: So she just released that.
Speaker: And I was just like, so proud of being that self aware to remember to put those boundaries in for yourself.
Speaker: What are your rules?
Speaker: So like, I'm big on like, your business, your rules right now, because we forget that in our businesses, we start to ask everybody else for things.
Speaker: And that's when burnout happens is when we start like,
Speaker: asking this person what do you think what do you think what do you think and all of a sudden our brains are going in a million different ways and we can't handle it it causes our nervous system to freak the fuck out and we just freeze and because your body needs to freeze i think i think there's so much oh man there's so many things i want to just explore but before we even get into all of that and i think it's a perfect segue experience of burnout but it's like the what
Speaker: behind it is so different for everyone, right?
Speaker: Because there's a root cause.
Speaker: There's a root cause.
Speaker: What was yours?
Speaker: What led you for it?
Speaker: My root cause is not listening to my body.
Speaker: And so I didn't even know about this.
Speaker: Your whole body is wisdom and it knows what's best for you.
Speaker: And so back in 2009, I was a personal trainer and I started personal training because my kids were like
Speaker: since when they were born, I started personal training.
Speaker: And because it was a great thing that I could do while the kids are little, and I can make money.
Speaker: And so then I started working for a big box gym.
Speaker: And I started teaching like a lot of fitness classes.
Speaker: And like, I love it.
Speaker: I love teaching.
Speaker: I love fitness.
Speaker: I love being on stage.
Speaker: I love working with clients love it.
Speaker: And it was like the end of March in 2009.
Speaker: I had posted like,
Speaker: I'm so sore.
Speaker: My body needs a break.
Speaker: But I was like, I got to push through.
Speaker: I got to push through.
Speaker: I got to push through.
Speaker: I got to keep teaching a because I have to show up for my clients.
Speaker: I have to teach this class because I want to get paid.
Speaker: And yeah, I could probably find a sub for it.
Speaker: But I can do it.
Speaker: I can do it.
Speaker: Even though I'm so freaking sore, I can't even walk down my stairs.
Speaker: And so I had posted it on my Facebook.
Speaker: And then three days later, I'm running to catch the bus.
Speaker: And I like only had a flip phone at the time and I never took it with me everywhere I went.
Speaker: I never took my phone with me because... Yep.
Speaker: Because who needed to take their phone with me?
Speaker: It was 2009 and I was 22, 23.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Anyway, so it had just like a fresh little dusting of snow.
Speaker: And I was running to the bus, totally slipped, shattered my leg.
Speaker: And I'm like, didn't have a phone, the phone.
Speaker: I was three doors down.
Speaker: And it was a quiet Saturday morning.
Speaker: It was super peaceful.
Speaker: And it was really pretty.
Speaker: And I'm just like laying on the sidewalk, just crying.
Speaker: And then I had this little angel that came and rescued me and brought me home.
Speaker: And then James took over.
Speaker: But I still don't know who that person ever was.
Speaker: But my little angel came and saved me because I didn't listen to my body.
Speaker: So I had I waited in the hospital for three days before I had surgery, I think three days, just because a lot of people broke their legs at that time.
Speaker: And I waited because I also didn't speak up for myself.
Speaker: Because the lady next to me cried and screamed bloody murder.
Speaker: And she got in for surgery because they wanted to shut her up.
Speaker: And so I didn't go in for surgery because I wasn't like loud and boisterous for myself, which is a whole nother lesson.
Speaker: But, but it was just that if my lesson there was, if I don't listen to my body, the universe makes you listen to your body.
Speaker: And so I don't want other women, especially to,
Speaker: to burn out thinking that we can do all the things because we can.
Speaker: We're freaking amazing humans.
Speaker: We can multitask and we can manage our families, manage businesses, jobs and all the things.
Speaker: But just because we can doesn't mean that we have to because if it starts to feel like it's a lot on your body where you're getting sick, where you're tired, where you're like,
Speaker: hating all things in life like those are your red flags that you're burning out and so it's like you need to turn everything off sit on your couch and watch like yellowstone for three years if you need to or whatever and because like otherwise
Speaker: The universe will make you sit on the couch.
Speaker: So I had multiple surgeries done and I sat on a couch for six months, which is when I started my gym at the same time.
Speaker: So there's always a blessing in disguise.
Speaker: But yeah, so that was the first lesson of listening to my body.
Speaker: And even when I worked at my day job, my hips were getting super sore because as women, we like hold all our emotions and stress in our hips.
Speaker: And I went to an osteopath and she's chess.
Speaker: If you don't take a vacation, your body is going to.
Speaker: And I'm like, oh, I've done this before.
Speaker: I've learned this lesson before.
Speaker: And so I told my manager, I'm like, I need a break.
Speaker: I'm taking a week off.
Speaker: Like I had three weeks vacation plus three weeks of stick time to take.
Speaker: But like I couldn't take it plus overtime that I had banked.
Speaker: But it was never a good time to
Speaker: for the nonprofit for me to actually take time off.
Speaker: And so it was just like, push through and no, I was like, I need to take a break.
Speaker: So I took a week off and work from home at the time, and still not enough.
Speaker: And so then three months later, my stepdad died, my mother in law died, and within a week of each other, and then I lost my job.
Speaker: And so it was like three shitty things all back to back, being like,
Speaker: The universe is making you take a break.
Speaker: Take a break.
Speaker: Redirect.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Recalculating as the GPS says.
Speaker: Recalculating.
Speaker: System reboot.
Speaker: And so that's why I started my business with the boundaries that I have.
Speaker: And they're just second nature to me now because it's like,
Speaker: I will not burn out again.
Speaker: I know my warning signs and I listen to my body now.
Speaker: And that I didn't know.
Speaker: So it's still like the whole process of embodiment and how to like let energy out of your body.
Speaker: Like I'm getting into the mastery level of that.
Speaker: And, but I just didn't know it was called that.
Speaker: Like I would go for a run or go for a walk, go work out.
Speaker: I want to cry.
Speaker: So I'm going to go hop on a bike and then it would just go away.
Speaker: And so that's kind of my,
Speaker: story on burnout and why I don't want anybody else to have to experience that like you shouldn't have to get sick you shouldn't have to break bones you shouldn't have to lose your job to live your life anyone you know like it shouldn't have to get to that point in order for you to and it's so funny like it's this is like a theme on like my social media quite frankly this is why like you've been there with me for the last year this is how and why like you're
Speaker: came to be like because when you think of like marketing agencies when you think of creative brand houses or whatever you think oh my god it's so fast-paced so like go and there's it's agency life like you just have to hustle and I mean that notion still exists in the entrepreneurial space and then I'm like okay you can do that
Speaker: But how about we do that grounded?
Speaker: How about we do that rooted with our nervous systems in place?
Speaker: How about we start with the body and let the body lead you?
Speaker: Because truly your body is the biggest barometer of what's happening in your life.
Speaker: It's like that thermostat.
Speaker: The check engine light.
Speaker: Hey, check the engine light.
Speaker: We're going to crash now.
Speaker: Check the engine light.
Speaker: No, I can't listen to the engine light.
Speaker: Then it breaks.
Speaker: and as you tell me your story of burnout like I think back to like my last few years and then I think back that experiences whether it's chronic trauma any form of trauma I don't care what like what it is when you experience chronic fatigue chronic stress chronic trauma like you're just and you don't give yourself a moment to just
Speaker: I'm not saying you have to have life come to a complete standstill.
Speaker: I mean, you can if you want to each their own.
Speaker: But if you're someone that's like, my brain doesn't compute how I can actually take time off to heal because it's the launching backward that's actually going to launch you forward even faster and farther.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: It's like weaving in those energy management practices, like weaving in little pockets and micro shifts.
Speaker: in your schedule because that's how I started out.
Speaker: My friendships is what started me.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So if you think of it back to the check engine light on your car, you don't need to park the car for three years for that to reset.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: Take it in.
Speaker: You get the checkup done and find out what exactly is wrong.
Speaker: And you tweak that little thing.
Speaker: And maybe it's just an oil change.
Speaker: Maybe it's just who knows battery, who knows what it is.
Speaker: But maybe it's just that little thing that needs tweaking and realigning and getting back into what you were made to do that check engine light.
Speaker: comes off.
Speaker: So it's identifying the thing that's causing the light to go off, identifying the thing that's causing you to burn out.
Speaker: Because it's one thing to just say, okay, we'll prevent burnout or like how to manage it afterwards.
Speaker: But what was the thing that caused it?
Speaker: For me, it was not listening to my body.
Speaker: So then that's the thing that I tweak, right?
Speaker: I don't have to do anything less or do whatever.
Speaker: I just have to learn to listen to my body.
Speaker: and follow that follow the energy from within and and trust that's the other thing is trusting that it's just the oil change it's not a whole revamp of the car the whole car doesn't need a makeover you don't need to slash the other three tires you just go change the one tire yeah i totally get that it's so funny like for me when i think back to like my burnout it was it always and even
Speaker: When I think back to a decade ago now, like the first time I hit, quote unquote, I don't even want, I don't know why I'm double air quoting, but I landed in the freaking ER.
Speaker: Like November 2012, I landed in the damn ER for an ovarian portion because I had ovarian cysts because my ovary, one of them was just like messing with cysts.
Speaker: And that's because I literally, my lifestyle was not conducive.
Speaker: It was like, I was again on,
Speaker: 24, five, or just any, when I say lifestyle, it's like your environment.
Speaker: It's like your waking, sleeping, the job that you do, the people you surround yourself with, like what you're having, what you're, I'm not going to say I'm a saint now.
Speaker: Like I've come a long way since then, but man, it took me a decade to understand this lesson.
Speaker: Cause after that time, the next time it happened, I
Speaker: Was in 2017 and I landed up in the ER again.
Speaker: Except this time there were no cysts because I've been working on tackling that part of my health.
Speaker: But the correlation was stress management.
Speaker: And then if I dissected it further, the stress management was a result of people pleasing and not being able to say no or to be like, hey, I can't do this.
Speaker: I used to have a really hard time saying no to people.
Speaker: That is something I struggled with my whole life.
Speaker: I would feel this anger bubble up in me, but then I'm like, okay, just simmer it down.
Speaker: Like you can't be agreeable.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Human design entered my life four years ago and God bless it.
Speaker: God bless my friend who shared that with me.
Speaker: Like she doesn't use the tool anymore.
Speaker: And she always tells me, I think I was just meant to share that with you because I think God was just so tired of looking at you feel like what is going on.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I look at people pleasing as such like a root cause to burning out and hustling because we're like looking outside of ourselves.
Speaker: We're looking outside of ourselves to make that person happy to do that person, make whatever, do what that person says.
Speaker: And in doing that, we're like giving up a little piece of our heart and soul every single time.
Speaker: And when you like,
Speaker: give up your soul so much, you lose it.
Speaker: And then you're just in having your midlife crisis moment being like, what the F?
Speaker: What the heck just happened here?
Speaker: I need a check engine lights on.
Speaker: Yeah, so that was 2022 for me because, you know, the last five years since then was like, let's just keep going.
Speaker: Let's just keep building.
Speaker: Let's just stick it to the man, stick it to corporate.
Speaker: Like I exited corporate 2019 and
Speaker: But then it's, oh, you're building this thing.
Speaker: And you just have to, even with clients, like you, you have to take this because if you stand your ground, they're going to walk away.
Speaker: And then you don't have a job.
Speaker: And if you don't have a job and you don't have income come in, you don't have income come in.
Speaker: It's this whole domino effect.
Speaker: And I know that a lot of people, if you're listening to this, a lot of people stress about that kind of stuff.
Speaker: It doesn't matter if you're working a day job or if you're working a business.
Speaker: But what I think
Speaker: the biggest shift for me was going through the ringer that 2022 was, which is episode one on this podcast, by the way.
Speaker: If you haven't heard it, go hear it.
Speaker: I don't moan and whine about it.
Speaker: I actually celebrate the fact that 2022 was that type of year.
Speaker: Chaz and I were in a mastermind together with a coach and mentor, and all the ladies in there held me when I was literally having one of those.
Speaker: It wasn't one of those days.
Speaker: It was a
Speaker: I'm just going to methodically go away.
Speaker: I'm done.
Speaker: I can't do this.
Speaker: And really, that was my body's way of crying for health and like crying for, hey, we just need you to rest right now.
Speaker: Hey, we just need you to integrate all the changes that have happened.
Speaker: Hey, like you don't need to carry this by yourself anymore.
Speaker: And so I think back to the girl that I say girl, and we're going to get into this next.
Speaker: But I think back to the girl that I was in business all these years.
Speaker: And I'm like, whoa, whoa.
Speaker: I was so angry.
Speaker: Two years ago at this time, I was so angry.
Speaker: This was the first Christmas that I was able to unplug for even three to four days.
Speaker: And not worry.
Speaker: And I was like, oh, I like that.
Speaker: More of that, please.
Speaker: Like yesterday, we went for an in-country dinner for a friend's place.
Speaker: We haven't seen them in a while.
Speaker: And then I...
Speaker: Couldn't find my phone, but you know, I couldn't find my phone.
Speaker: And I'm like, okay, like I could either freak out about this or I could trust that it's in the car or I just left it at home because we were getting a whole bunch of stuff to take to them.
Speaker: And I let it be.
Speaker: I'm like, what would I have done anyways?
Speaker: I would have checked Slack for client stuff.
Speaker: No, I'm like, no, my availability is I do not check Slack after 6pm.
Speaker: That is a boundary that I'm taking.
Speaker: That is a standard that I'm taking into 2023 with me.
Speaker: I don't check Slack after 6pm Eastern.
Speaker: Like I am done.
Speaker: I'm not available for calls after two o'clock because I need to get into the mode of I need to go get my son from school.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then between two to six, I'm not even doing client work.
Speaker: I'm spending time with him.
Speaker: I'm teaching him.
Speaker: like one of the things that was brought to my awareness by my husband and just in general, like with noticing how my son responds and behaves and stuff, it's like he vies for my attention.
Speaker: But I was like, no, I'm working right now.
Speaker: I'm working.
Speaker: And I'm like, whoa, I'm repeating this cycle.
Speaker: No, I'm not doing that.
Speaker: And so it's like, how do you
Speaker: be more intentional about those things.
Speaker: Because I love what I do.
Speaker: And I know we all, like every business owner loves what they do because that's why we started.
Speaker: You got to be insane and obsessed in order to start a business and see it through.
Speaker: There's no other way to do it.
Speaker: Like you have to be
Speaker: It's like you get into the boxing ring and get punched and you keep going, getting back up.
Speaker: Like that song from Jumbawamba.
Speaker: I cannot.
Speaker: Literally that's the stuff that plays in my brain when I think of entrepreneurship.
Speaker: Like that's what it is.
Speaker: You keep going and you play the long game, but it's like the long game gets to be played in the anti-hustle mode, the way you teach about it.
Speaker: It doesn't mean sacrificing your health or your family or anything.
Speaker: Your income.
Speaker: It's like, okay, well, I'm just starting.
Speaker: So I need to hustle when I just start.
Speaker: Or once I start and then I'm like, okay, when does that stop?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: When I make X amount of dollars, I'm like, okay, what amount of dollars?
Speaker: Or when I get how many clients, X amount of clients.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: What, how many clients and what is it about that number?
Speaker: That's all of a sudden going to make you change away from hustling.
Speaker: What is it that's going to make you change the safety and security, which you can't find.
Speaker: We both know you cannot find that safety and security in somebody else and somebody else paying you because you're going to get effed over.
Speaker: And then that's all shattered.
Speaker: You have to find that safety and security.
Speaker: And this is like the work of business is like,
Speaker: finding that you're grounding first, right?
Speaker: And build from that solid foundation.
Speaker: So there's no... The old school way of business is you got to hustle within the first year, three years.
Speaker: Everybody fails within the first three years.
Speaker: They fail in the first three years because they don't pay their damn taxes.
Speaker: Not because it's like...
Speaker: They didn't work hard enough.
Speaker: They didn't put enough hours in because they didn't pay the taxes.
Speaker: And that's an actual thing from accountants.
Speaker: Like it's a real thing is that people get behind in their taxes year after year because they don't plan for them.
Speaker: And then all of a sudden they have a $300,000 tax bill and they're like, oh my God, I don't know how to pay this.
Speaker: And so they go under.
Speaker: Anyways, that's a whole other side discussion.
Speaker: You know what?
Speaker: I think that was like, I'm not going to say that there isn't hard work involved.
Speaker: There is.
Speaker: You're never going to build a business sitting in a bathtub and I don't know.
Speaker: That's the thing with hustle energy.
Speaker: It's intentionality.
Speaker: Intentionality is a huge thing.
Speaker: And this is what makes hustle, which makes doing the work different from hustling.
Speaker: Hustling is a mindset where you have to do all the things.
Speaker: You have to do all the things to get the result that you want.
Speaker: And so you're always working from a place of lack and you lack intentionality.
Speaker: Whereas like, how about you just, these are the things that are working for me.
Speaker: This is what I actually need to do in my business and focus on those things and master those things.
Speaker: And maybe that takes eight hours a day.
Speaker: Maybe that takes eight minutes.
Speaker: We got to get rid of this like timeframe about and reshift the amount of time that we work because that's what causes the burnout and the hustle energy and shift away from the time equals money because that's employee mindset right from the get go.
Speaker: More hours does not mean that you're going to make more money in the online world and in business in general for that matter.
Speaker: Drop that energy and bring in the intentionality, finding what works and doing a kick-ass job doing it, right?
Speaker: And if it sucks your soul, outsource it, outsource it, get rid of it.
Speaker: If it's going to take you a whole year to build your website and that's going to keep you from making sales, dude, hire somebody to build your website.
Speaker: If you find the website's important, that's the other thing, doing the things that are important to you.
Speaker: And I get very passionate about that stuff.
Speaker: No, I do too.
Speaker: I love it.
Speaker: I did all the things.
Speaker: Like I had all the bells and whistles when I first started.
Speaker: I even had a freebie graveyard with all the stock photos, all the freebies.
Speaker: Like I didn't hear my first mentor until November, 2019.
Speaker: But after that, like 2020 to last year, it was all like, and you could say those are the first two years of my incorporation.
Speaker: I I've always been.
Speaker: profitable from the time I started my business and when and for context here in my brain being profitable means are you making a sale can you bring home some of that money great and I've always earned money from it wasn't like my first year and this was when I was a sole provider and I remember getting paid $750 to edit a freaking manuscript and I was like holy shit this is awesome because I used to work 60 hour weeks in
Speaker: corporate finance you don't get paid that you get paid like way less than that after taxes after commuting and all of the stuff and then it's like you've sold your soul and then you literally hustle business for me slowly turned into a hustle because it's also like the energy of the people that you partner up with that's important and I feel like yes a lot of us
Speaker: leave corporate or we start our own businesses because what we desire to be is freedom whether it's time freedom financial freedom whatever the core is freedom we just we want to be unfeathered yet we bring the things the very shit that we dislike in corporate we bring that into our businesses into the way we lead
Speaker: teams or if we are collaborating with other teams we our mindset is still that of an employee when in fact we are all chief executive officers on our viewers of our own you know what you know right now you bring in you're absolutely right you do bring in what you know but I feel like I've seen this in the coaching
Speaker: And there's such a bigger world.
Speaker: There's such a big world out there.
Speaker: Apart from this little echo chamber or high school that we're in online.
Speaker: I say very particularly because it does feel like high school.
Speaker: And to be honest, it's like unsubscribed from that noise.
Speaker: You like there's so much, that's a whole different episode on its own, but it's,
Speaker: Like getting your big girl panties on.
Speaker: 2022, I don't know about you, but it forced me to step into, okay, you're a business owner.
Speaker: You have a shitload of refunds to deal with.
Speaker: You don't have to deal with them.
Speaker: You could totally whine about it.
Speaker: or you could get your rep ruined, or the rep was ruined.
Speaker: And then, yeah, and then people came to my defense because, again, it's like your work will speak for itself.
Speaker: And as God would have it, you know how you had your angel?
Speaker: Like, I had so many angels last year.
Speaker: One of the people that I'd hired onto my team at the time experienced the same harassment and extortion.
Speaker: And quite frankly,
Speaker: abuse from that red flag client this was before I'd even hired and like taken on the client or even hired my team member and she was like I don't know why I feel compelled to tell you this but I feel like it's the same person that I've worked with and I'm like what do you mean I'm like it can't be I'm like it's like it's such a it's a small world but it's also not yeah and then she repeated a line and I was like no no
Speaker: I'm like, oh my God, she's like the same person.
Speaker: I'm like, yup.
Speaker: She's like, how'd you know?
Speaker: I'm like, because I'm like, this person has that in their stories and in their copy.
Speaker: Like that is something that they just, you know?
Speaker: And I was like, thanks God.
Speaker: Thank you for showing me that I'm not losing it.
Speaker: Cause I thought I was losing it.
Speaker: But like your body gives you these signs.
Speaker: Like my body knew when I was signing that find on, don't do it.
Speaker: Don't do it.
Speaker: And I went and did it.
Speaker: And we ignore that so often and it always gets us in trouble.
Speaker: But it also was a blessing.
Speaker: It was like that little thread that just unraveled everything.
Speaker: Or like when you're doing a reno and it's like you want to break apart one thing, but then you pull it apart and you're like, oh shit, there's all this other stuff behind the wall.
Speaker: Crap, we're going to have to just redo everything.
Speaker: Essentially is what happened.
Speaker: So I realized I'm not going to bring that hustle mindset into elixir.
Speaker: I'm not forcing it.
Speaker: We slashed down business offerings from the public.
Speaker: And truth be told, my entire business, thank you, God, like it's his grace, grew based on word of mouth marketing, organic referrals.
Speaker: Still now.
Speaker: Still.
Speaker: Even though I'm like, now I'm like, all right, we need to like, not need to, I want to start expressing more and I'm having fun with it.
Speaker: But previously, I found that I never wanted to show up online because I was so caught up in the hustle.
Speaker: except I was hustling for my client.
Speaker: And we do that.
Speaker: Yeah, whether it's your coaching business or a done-for-you service provider business, I don't care what your model is.
Speaker: It's like, pour into yourself first or even pour into your client.
Speaker: And while you're pouring into clients, so that like the work that you do with your clients should be an expression of who you are.
Speaker: And when you're expressing who you are and expressing...
Speaker: your gifts, like those shouldn't drain you.
Speaker: Those should be energizers versus drainers.
Speaker: And so that's a good thing to look at, like in your business, when we're putting a big girl panties on, where it's, hey, what's energizing me and what's draining me?
Speaker: And the things that drain me and suck my soul, gotta go or I'm going to outsource them.
Speaker: I always say too that if like you can procrastinate on something, it's not that important to you.
Speaker: So therefore, why is it even on your list?
Speaker: Just take it off your list.
Speaker: If you're going to procrastinate on it.
Speaker: Even that, like last year, I guess that, and I want to add to that though.
Speaker: Sometimes when you do procrastinate on something, your body is literally keeping you in a freeze response.
Speaker: Yeah, there's that.
Speaker: And sometimes it's not like you, you've overloaded yourself so much to the point.
Speaker: Probably to overcompensate.
Speaker: And this is the people pleasing the dynamic fight, flight, freeze, fawn.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You're stuck between freeze and fawn.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You fawned over and now you're frozen because you can't move because you're like, shit, I don't.
Speaker: And this is just, I'm again, I'm not a therapist or a counselor.
Speaker: Please actually see someone this, but I do what I do with my clients.
Speaker: And as a result of my own healing and ongoing work is like, we do work with
Speaker: nervous system regulation, whether it's selling with a regulated nervous system, writing your copy, showing up, because a lot of what we do is self-expression.
Speaker: How are you going to show up if you're not regulated?
Speaker: I couldn't.
Speaker: There's a reason why I couldn't show up.
Speaker: You can show up, but your content's going to be so surface level.
Speaker: It's not going to feel authentic.
Speaker: You're still going to feel like something's missing, and then you're going to go look for it in all the courses, all the mentors, all the things, when in fact, all you needed to do was come back to you and regulate
Speaker: and heal and take time off or ditch the misaligned shit right oh my god last year in september i i found another anyway for social media management and i think something like social media management copy like all these things even working with a coach and a mentor it's such an intimate space and relationship because you're literally working with the person
Speaker: on a daily basis right yeah anyway I like I took this person on I was excited I was like okay like I could I think I could see us working together but that's like you saying I think I could see us married together as opposed to just saying no I don't want to marry you thank you this is a great ring but I don't want it because I'm not
Speaker: I'm not feeling that resonance in my body about this.
Speaker: It's not even about, they could be perfect on paper or they may not be.
Speaker: And there's always something or the other that has to give, but it's like that resonance in your body.
Speaker: So I didn't follow the resonance of my body again.
Speaker: I was like, how many times does a girl got to go through this?
Speaker: I kid you not.
Speaker: Like, again, it was literally within the first week of signing this person on.
Speaker: It was the same thing that happened in January repeating.
Speaker: And I'm like, okay,
Speaker: Where am I the problem?
Speaker: Like where, okay, what's broken in my onboarding systems communication?
Speaker: Because I'm always going to look at that first.
Speaker: Like we've learned our lessons, our contracts are done.
Speaker: Everything's like ironclad.
Speaker: And it was, and the difference with this situation was I could go back to this person from a state of power and
Speaker: and empowerment versus being like, holy shit, I don't know how I'm going to deal with you.
Speaker: And I was like, I've dealt with the likes of you before.
Speaker: Say that to her.
Speaker: But I was like, you know what?
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: Don't need your word salad emails.
Speaker: This is done, effective immediately.
Speaker: If you don't see this working out, I get it.
Speaker: I'm not upset.
Speaker: This isn't a fit.
Speaker: There's an energetic cadence that needs to happen.
Speaker: You're not getting a refund because
Speaker: Here's the times of blah, blah, blah.
Speaker: Like, literally, I had my team on this.
Speaker: I'm like, I need everything.
Speaker: And after that was done, I sat down.
Speaker: And I was sitting down with my friend and I'm like, okay, something needs to change.
Speaker: Because I'm feeling very angry right now.
Speaker: And I'm not angry at that person.
Speaker: I'm just angry.
Speaker: And I know something's misplaced.
Speaker: And she was like, what if you stopped offering things?
Speaker: social media management and the bespoke factors that you do on map what if you directly that's like your exclusive way to work together with people you only take on people that are hella aligned I was like all right done and that same night I made like I share my stories a lot like I like to write and I reflect in my stories a lot
Speaker: That same night, I was reflecting back, like sharing in my stories.
Speaker: And I was like, yep, I'm like, here's all the ways you can work with me.
Speaker: Social media is not publicly.
Speaker: Unless you're a current client, you do not get social media or public.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: That's it.
Speaker: Done.
Speaker: And it was the lightest I felt.
Speaker: And in that same night, I met my new client.
Speaker: And she sent me a couple of referrals.
Speaker: And she was like, I just love how you showed up so boldly.
Speaker: And we're both manifestos.
Speaker: I'm like, oh, thanks.
Speaker: But it's a split second shift.
Speaker: I was like, I don't need to do this.
Speaker: There's a reason it keeps feeling heavy.
Speaker: There's a reason it doesn't work with everyone.
Speaker: It's a very specific type of person that it works for and with.
Speaker: And imagine if we took that approach into our life.
Speaker: And since then, it just became this like Q4 for me was like, all right, double down.
Speaker: Go back to your roots.
Speaker: Your roots were writing.
Speaker: Your roots were photography.
Speaker: Your roots were the.
Speaker: Go back to that.
Speaker: You don't need to do everything else.
Speaker: And then you helped me.
Speaker: Solidify it even further.
Speaker: In our intensive.
Speaker: Which I was like.
Speaker: Thank God.
Speaker: I have a plan now.
Speaker: I can go back and look at it but a lot of people don't operate that business which then fries your nervous system and then leads to burnout because you're just trying to spaghetti launch and catch like rings of fire that are being thrown at you yeah instead of planning your year instead of planning I don't want to say hard set goals but like
Speaker: How do you want to feel?
Speaker: What do you want when you look back at the end of 2020?
Speaker: I like it.
Speaker: It's like creating the life that you want to live.
Speaker: Create the business that you want to live.
Speaker: Follow that feeling.
Speaker: And for me, I was like, this doesn't feel freeing.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: This doesn't feel free.
Speaker: I don't want it.
Speaker: This doesn't feel peaceful.
Speaker: I don't want it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: This...
Speaker: feels very confining, I do not want it.
Speaker: Like that's my barometer now because my body always tells me and I'm like, yep, done.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: Holy shit.
Speaker: This has been like an amazing, this has been an amazing conversation.
Speaker: There's so many nuggets in here that I can just pull out and share, but
Speaker: So tell me about like where, what's coming through for you now?
Speaker: Like as far as like where my business is heading, where I'm heading.
Speaker: Yeah, like where are you, where is the Manny Jen taking you right now?
Speaker: And what are some ways?
Speaker: So I was actually planning this afternoon, okay, all my master classes for the next six months or so.
Speaker: And then I just look at the schedule and then I say, oh, I need time.
Speaker: I need space in here to be like,
Speaker: experience something, come up with creative ideas.
Speaker: So we'll just scratch this and scratch this class and quit planning the master classes.
Speaker: And it was a membership anyways.
Speaker: And, but like my vision for this year is to really step into the,
Speaker: and like intentionally be who I meant to be.
Speaker: So one time I had listened to this podcast with Sterling Brown and he had talked about having, cause he's an actor and this is us.
Speaker: And I love that show.
Speaker: And it's like, actors have the behind the scenes, behind the curtain version of themselves and the front of the curtain version of themselves.
Speaker: And it's like pretty much my whole life.
Speaker: And this comes into people pleasing is being more,
Speaker: behind the curtain and then putting on a mask and being more and being the person in front.
Speaker: And so I was working with a coach a couple years ago that helped me see I was actually even wearing masks.
Speaker: And so it was like the continual evolution of removing more masks and removing that curtain.
Speaker: And that allows me to be more authentic and to be in more integrity and to be more transparent because that's who I am.
Speaker: Like those words are core values of mine that
Speaker: Like for whatever reason, just like how I thought business should be based on old masculine energetics and like what I've always known and based on what I want and how just I've evolved as a person and allowing people to see that.
Speaker: And then like just being super creative
Speaker: fricking potent about because I am a many gen and I can like get ideas and shift so much, but it's always towards my focus, which has always been since I was in high school is like helping women create the lives that like they're meant to live.
Speaker: That's always been my overarching vision, purpose in life.
Speaker: And so really being very intentional about, is this helping women create the life that they want?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Okay, we're not doing it.
Speaker: Is this helping women?
Speaker: And so then I wrote out all the things that these are the things that someone needs to know, be, and do in order to create the life that they want.
Speaker: And so that becomes my
Speaker: format that becomes my messaging.
Speaker: And so I'm not scared to be seen and to stand on stage and being called out even when it like hurts.
Speaker: And because I believe in my vision so much.
Speaker: where I don't want to see women like hiding in the shadows or being in the shadows of somebody else and being small and being the little girl.
Speaker: And but I believe women are a powerful force.
Speaker: And like, it's our time.
Speaker: And this has been shifting with feminist movement, but it is our time to step up and lead with
Speaker: our authenticity of who we are, our true selves to build everybody out, not to be like,
Speaker: in a negative power dynamic where people intentionally get hurt.
Speaker: And that's the masculine energetics of our power dynamics in the world right now, but but leading from the place of love and joy and speaking up about that.
Speaker: So those are like my huge guidelines that I'm getting super strict on.
Speaker: And at the same time, my whole vibe is like,
Speaker: making business easy for people making and being in the vibe of the visual of the feather floating down a stream.
Speaker: I love that.
Speaker: So as soon as I feel that this is sticky and is muddy, and it's whatever, is I'm out what's not working here?
Speaker: Why am what's why aren't I feeling like a feather floating down the
Speaker: And this came to me like the whole feather came to me like two summers ago.
Speaker: And every time I go for a walk, I see a feather to remind me light as a feather.
Speaker: So I know that this is a thing.
Speaker: And so I need to be like more intentional with that and just leading from that place.
Speaker: And yeah.
Speaker: And so it's going to be less teaching Instagram strategies, but just less.
Speaker: Because it is, Instagram's a great tool to express who you are and to attract clients.
Speaker: So if you want to create the life that you want, business is a tool to do that.
Speaker: You got to learn how to build a business doing that.
Speaker: And yeah, and so to not, and so I would really gotten like really discouraged because I'm like, I don't want to teach Instagram.
Speaker: There's, there are so many people out there that are, that know it more and that love doing it.
Speaker: And so let them do that.
Speaker: But at the same time, I actually know a lot more than a lot of other people know.
Speaker: And so instead of feeling shame about that and making it feel like it's something small, it's not.
Speaker: It's something big for somebody else.
Speaker: And it's a big block that I can help make easier for them because it's super easy for me to post on Instagram, to post on Facebook, to post on all the things in minutes.
Speaker: And it's not for others.
Speaker: And so at one point then I felt really, oh, this isn't my place, but it is.
Speaker: It's part of my purpose because I've been in business for 20 years, like 20 whole years I've been in business.
Speaker: And so it's like, I can't deny that.
Speaker: I'm 45.
Speaker: So almost half my life I've been in a business.
Speaker: And whereas like, I started to feel shame about that and wanted to do more identity work and do more meaningful things.
Speaker: But the meaningful things are connecting with who you are and creating from a place and expressing who you are.
Speaker: So it's all been weaving together over the past like three, four years.
Speaker: And I just know that this is the year where it's solid.
Speaker: It's like, this is not it.
Speaker: This is it infers that there's an end, but this isn't the end.
Speaker: This is just like,
Speaker: feel more anchored and grounded yeah i feel the anchored grounded energy of this is a being and it's not just a doing thing but this is my being so my word for this year is being if we're gonna have a word i decided not do words because i haven't done words i'm like i don't want to feel what's my best sense yeah my year from two years ago and at
Speaker: effing hard i don't want to use that word ever again yeah oh gosh my word for 2022 was revolutionary boy was it revolutionary it's like careful what to wish for every year it's like you peel layers back but like when as you peel layers back you come home to yourself so i love this so much oh my goodness i love you so much how like how can
Speaker: people work with you if they want like what do you have going on right now for the next couple months like what are some ways people can work with you so I am just launching right now it's called the anti-hustle business academy which is a great foundational business program where we cover basically all the aspects of a business plan and it's super good for people who need structure I love structures but also but like
Speaker: the creatives out there who are more creative than I am, the spiritual beings that are lightworkers, energy healers, like this is perfect for them because it allows you to use your gift and then use the structure of business and all the aspects of business, not just marketing, but all the different aspects of business and puts it all together.
Speaker: And so that you can create a business that like, this is what you're meant to do on the planet for this.
Speaker: And so that is my full goal with this.
Speaker: It's a four month program.
Speaker: It's a hybrid.
Speaker: It's a mix of group.
Speaker: And it's a mix of one-on-one.
Speaker: There's EFTs, there's Reiki, there's meditations because that's what's worked for me to stay grounded.
Speaker: And then I also have my Get Shit Done membership, which is the first three months are $55.
Speaker: And we do weekly Q&A on Voxer.
Speaker: So you don't have to be stuck to a video because being able to do things wherever is very important to me.
Speaker: And then you get access to all my master classes.
Speaker: And so I teach a lot because I'm a Manny Gen and a 3.5.
Speaker: So I got to share everything that I learned and with as many people as possible.
Speaker: And it's been a really great phase.
Speaker: I'm really loving doing the Voxer Q&As.
Speaker: I just added that in in the last month.
Speaker: And it's really helped people be able to show up and ask the questions that need to be asked.
Speaker: instead of waiting for a video call or for waiting for a scheduled one-on-one call or something like that it's just really fast transactions so i love that so that's the get done membership or the anti-hustle business academy i love this so much thank you we're gonna have your instagram and if you have any of the links that you want to send
Speaker: my way, our way.
Speaker: We'll have that in the show notes so people can go find you.
Speaker: It was such an honor to have you on here.
Speaker: I've been wanting to interview you for a while and I'm so happy that we finally got this chat down and thank you for being with me on the show.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: Thank you to anybody who's listening as well.
Speaker: Thank you so much for tuning in and allowing us to inspire and infuse life and creativity into you.
Speaker: You've been listening to Elixir Radio, a podcast brought to you by Elixir Media Co.
Speaker: If you loved today's episode, please take a screenshot, share and tag us on Instagram at
Speaker: elixirmedia.co.
Speaker: We'd love to hear from you.
Speaker: And then we'd really, really, really appreciate it if you could go show us some more love as you subscribe, rate, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts so that our message can be heard by more humans such as yourself.
Speaker: To stay connected with us, learn about the latest goods inside the Elixir party bus, and
Speaker: Send us a DM, follow us on the Instagram and the interwebs, or head over to elixiermedia.co and get connected with us.
Speaker: Until next week, stay conscious, stay fiery, and go express yourself as you are bold, unapologetic, and activated.
