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Podcast 3 - Family Devotional
0 Playsin 7 hours
Join us as we discus the importance of discipleship specifically related to raising kids in a Christ-centered way.
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Transcript
Introduction and Guest Appearance
00:00:10
Speaker
Hey guys, want to welcome you back to our Grove Field podcast. We are excited today to have a special guest. Kyle Hess, who's usually to my right, is in Guatemala right now with one of our mission teams. They just arrived this morning. We'll be there this
The Role of Family Worship in Discipleship
00:00:23
Speaker
week.
00:00:23
Speaker
So we thought we'd bring in our own resident expert on children's ministry, Laurie Harper. Thanks for joining us, Laurie. You're welcome. Thanks for having me. Yep. And of course we got John, Mr. Associate Pastor, man of all trades, wear lots of hats.
00:00:36
Speaker
um And we're go talk about a subject today I think is really, really critically
Parents vs. Church: Who are the Key Disciple Makers?
00:00:40
Speaker
important. I feel like unfortunately is missed by a lot of churches, the emphasis on um where it is. If you're like my family growing up, we had a real hard time with developing which you might call a family worship time or a family devotion time, primarily just because like everybody else in America, we're we're busy, we're running in different directions. Kids have practices.
00:01:05
Speaker
yeah Mom has meetings at school, those kinds of things. But there's this important element that we are given, this responsibility as parents, when our children are handed to us, that we become their key disciple makers.
Biblical Basis for Family Worship
00:01:17
Speaker
And I think we're where we drop the ball is this mentality, especially in larger churches. Hey, we've got a children's minister, a youth minister. We've got all these programs. We'll take our kids there and let them get discipled.
00:01:29
Speaker
um But the primary goal of the church is not to be the discipler, but to come alongside the parents who are discipled. Right. So I want to hear some thoughts from you. First of all, let's talk about this. Why is family worship such an important element when we're discipling?
00:01:43
Speaker
Because Deuteronomy 6, 5 through 9. I'm going to read it. All right. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These words that I'm giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children.
00:01:57
Speaker
Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.
00:02:10
Speaker
God's word matters to our
Challenges in Maintaining Family Devotion Time
00:02:12
Speaker
families. Absolutely. Perfect. And so the seed, the planting of the seed is a huge element. But then what do you do with that seed? How do you keep it growing? How do you keep nourishing it? So moment of complete transparency. How many of you had a family quiet time when you were a child growing up?
00:02:28
Speaker
We did not. Few and far between. Yeah. My dad did that. He tried a couple of times. Hey, we're going to get around. We're going read the Bible. And it would last a day or two. And then I'd have a baseball game on a you know weeknight or whatever. always attended church. Yeah. Sunday morning, and Sunday night, Wednesday night. We did all the things. But I don't remember a time when we sat down and had a family devotion. Now, I do remember.
00:02:48
Speaker
I do remember my mom's Bible being open. Yeah. I do remember we prayed at every meal. Yeah. Which only to me goes to underline the importance of what we do at home because those are the things I remember about my faith growing up.
00:03:02
Speaker
Right. So but what what was your experience like for you? You said you went to church every... Yeah. Did y'all make attempts
Faith Through Family Experiences
00:03:08
Speaker
at family worship time? My dad always talked about the Bible and what God's Word said to him that day or what he read. I just read this passage and whatever. and He still does that to me yeah at 42 years old. He's still telling me... hey, did you read this the other day? and just last week he said, hey, your mom was telling me about this passage.
00:03:25
Speaker
So they're reading the Bible still now. So that was really cool. But I just remember him always bringing up scriptures that he was reading to us and would remind us of things, especially during difficult times or maybe when discipline was needed. Not always with me. But um yeah. Shocking. Our children's business are...
00:03:44
Speaker
Tell me about your experience. so what What did you remember about your discipling process as a kid? um I would say of in the same vein as Lori. It was, which it's kind of cool. And I said few and far between, but there was always mention of who
Starting and Sustaining Family Devotion
00:04:01
Speaker
God was. And it was, uh, the things of at the dinner table at the the conversations that you would hear throughout the house.
00:04:08
Speaker
But to say there was a dedicated time, uh, of intentionally digging in with my parents by my side, walking me through scripture, uh, like I said, few and far between, but I think ah I think the frequency with which my parents had it exposed to me in the house, that kind of gave me a good base. But I think as God desires for us, I can look back on it and see the areas maybe where we missed on some things. Right. So for sure.
00:04:36
Speaker
Yeah. So I got this quote. Don't remember where I got it years ago, but obviously resonated with me Still can bring it back around from time to time. Our children, our kids, may not remember every sermon preached, but they will remember every sermon lived. Absolutely. yeah I mean, you you could probably go back and list all these different traditions you had. and You talk about every year, every Christmas, your family getting together and doing Christmas caroling. Yeah. You remember those moments. They're significant.
00:05:02
Speaker
you You remember some of the things you've told me stories about growing up, things your mom and dad taught to you. I could sit here and tell you all kinds of family traditions, family reunions, things like that where the moments were significant.
00:05:13
Speaker
And again, speaks to this idea of living out our faith as much as we talk about our faith. Right. so Because we like to be practical around here, we're going to pull together this conversation. going to let Laurie kind of kick us off here.
00:05:27
Speaker
How do we start that process of doing a family devotion, a family worship
Practical Approaches to Family Worship
00:05:32
Speaker
time? What does it look like? How do we keep it consistent? Okay. So give me some thoughts. Well, first of all,
00:05:38
Speaker
You've got to remember every season of parenthood is going to be different. So what John's doing with his kids are going totally different than what I'm able to do with my teenagers. yeah So you've got to give yourself grace in that area. what I actually talked to my D group this morning and I said, tell me what worship looks like in your home. And it was interesting to hear because our kids are all different ages. So some of them, they have their worship time during...
00:05:58
Speaker
Laundry while they're folding their clothes. Some of them are in the car. I think you've got to start. Just start. that's good yeah Just start. It doesn't matter if it's elaborate. It doesn't have to be fancy. Just have a five to ten minute something. Because we make time for everything else.
00:06:12
Speaker
We make time for ball. We make time for TV. We make time for football games. All those things. We've got to make time for the Lord. But you've got to start small. Just start. Be consistent as possible. Consistent as possible. Excuse me. I said said that wrong.
00:06:25
Speaker
Give yourself grace because you're going to have things that come up. Yes. Yes. that are going to throw you off. You're going vacations. You're going to have friends coming over whatever. So give yourself grace in that area. But um we ask our question our kids a question every Sunday night. We have decided that Sunday nights are our time of Sabbath as our family.
00:06:43
Speaker
And we ask our kids every Sunday night, okay, how can I pray for you this week? And now they've started asking us, okay, mom and dad, what what have you got going on? And I mean, it may be something like dad's having car issues again, or mom's got a meeting on Tuesday, staff meeting, um whatever it is.
00:06:59
Speaker
So we're all four praying for each other. So I think you've you've got to start something so real simple and real small, but that has led into some really um cool conversations throughout the week. Like, hey, how did that test go on Tuesday? Just yeah opening that conversation up. So that's what it started out as with my family. But now we, because we're reading through the Bible as a year and in the year or whatever, as a family, my husband decided to do that as a family. He wanted all four of us to do it at the same time every night. So It's been hard.
00:07:26
Speaker
We've missed days and we got a little bit behind. um But we were consistent and we've tried to stay the course and just you got to do it. You just have to start.
00:07:38
Speaker
There's more, but you keep asking. no So, yeah, we'll keep going with that. But I want to stop there and just emphasize you've used this word. and i think I did one time to consistency. Yeah. Consistency is typically found in simplicity.
00:07:50
Speaker
yeah The more complex you make it, the harder it is to keep it consistent. So you've got two kids that are now six, six and eight, eight right? Very involved in school, involved in sports, doing little things. and Of course, very involved in church. So what do you and Becca do to try to to kind of establish that with your kids as inconsistent as it may be?
Adapting Worship to Children's Needs
00:08:13
Speaker
We do the things that Lori was talking about. Simplistic elements of five minutes, ten minutes a night. I know my kids' attention span. Right, exactly exactly. Short and sweet, if you want to call it anything. But what we get them to do is do these things of worship as we you know go throughout the day, but more specifically at nighttime.
00:08:35
Speaker
They're more coherent yeah whenever they're kind of getting to that stage of the day. but praying, even singing songs. Sometimes the the simple things of just playing a song and worshiping with them, ah not worrying about anything else, but just singing together in the living room.
00:08:54
Speaker
And then looking at how does this point towards God? Those are those simple things because I know that my son's not going to be able, he's just beginning to read. So I'm not going to be able to sit him in front of a Bible and read through a full chapter. And for him to really...
00:09:10
Speaker
receive a whole lot right now. So right now I'm just taking bite-sized right snippets and saying, hey, here's this verse, son. This is what this looks like. But how do we accurately view God
Consistency in Family Worship
00:09:24
Speaker
in the short five, 10 minute windows? Because it's those repetitive patterns of five, 10 minutes. Yeah. that I think start to create a sense of, oh, this is who God is.
00:09:35
Speaker
And wow, mom and dad is living that out. not to Not to say that we haven't missed days because there has been that. Well, and mine looks different than yours. Mine's more of a 10 to 20 minute time and we're reading the Bible together every night. It's different.
00:09:48
Speaker
yeah I couldn't do that when they were little. When we were little, we sang a lot of songs. We prayed a lot of prayers. We taught them the posture of prayer. We taught them this is what it looks like when we worship, all those kinds of things. It just, it's,
00:09:59
Speaker
looks different in every different season. Right. um So consistency matters more than length. And I would say even more necessarily than the content of what you're doing. Right. Absolutely. Obviously everything's built around the Bible, but it doesn't always have to be reading from scripture. it could be singing a scripture song, right? It could be asking, what did you learn in Sunday school today? Yes.
00:10:20
Speaker
Uh, it could be, Hey, what did, what happened with you and that friend that you've been having problems with, especially as you get into the teen years, you know, it's a constant thing that you're negotiation relation, negotiating relationships.
00:10:31
Speaker
So, uh, how do you encourage your kids, um, in those daily conversations about this is really, really important. Um, it's not just something we do. We feel like it's a critical part of who we are as a family. How do you underline that for them?
00:10:46
Speaker
Well, for us, we would always, I would always ask them, tell me something where you saw Jesus today. That's a good question. So they can recognize that in their daily life, those habits that we're starting, then they can recognize it and see it out in their daily life played out.
00:10:59
Speaker
That's cool. What about you? Anything else? I don't know. Right now in my mind, I'm, you know, scrubbing off into space. But back to your, you know, reading of the passage in Deuteronomy, it talks about all times of the day. yeah when When you lie down, when you rise, it's all encompassing. It's not just a compartmentalized thing. And I think that's what happens probably even in a culture, you know,
00:11:26
Speaker
go back 30 years and you saw sometimes the the family show up on Sunday and then it was a separation on Monday through Saturday. right And I think what our objective should be is, hey, this is seven days a week, 24 hours a day, teaching our kids what it means to you know do it at every point in life.
00:11:47
Speaker
Yep.
Church's Role in Supporting Family Worship
00:11:48
Speaker
I think one of the things that helps with consistency in my mind too is anchoring this time to something you regularly do as a family. yeah Bedtime is hard, especially when you've kids at different ages because they're going to bed at different times. and just Just being real transparent here, boys brush their teeth and get into the bed. if if they even brush their teeth. Girls are doing face wash and makeup. ribb And when you're teenagers, you go to bed first. it was a too That's a great point.
00:12:15
Speaker
So ah but but, and you know, anchoring it to something you talked about some of your your D group girls doing it on the way to school. That's a consistent thing every day. Dinner time is a great time because, you know, you're going to eat something every day right somewhere around the same time.
00:12:29
Speaker
I think that helps to develop some consistency for people when they're trying to figure out where's the best place to put this. But I do think it's like so many other things. You can't kick yourself if you miss a day or two. Right, right. The key is just to get right back on the horse and keep moving forward.
00:12:44
Speaker
you we When we do our Bible reading, we take turns praying at the end of it. and my son started praying, when it's his turn, thank you, God, for giving for giving us the time to do this together. wow And it's sweet just to hear it because it's he knows it's important, and but he knows that time, we don't always get it every day. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:13:00
Speaker
How do you give your kids ownership of this? Because in my mind, I think... one of the things you want to do is not only include them, which is going to engage their attention span, but also grow with it to the point where someday hopefully they're leading you, you know, um maybe ah as a middle schooler, they're the one providing yeah the scripture reading, those kinds of things. So how do you help engage them and give them ownership of this?
00:13:22
Speaker
I think you have to allow them to pick some of the worship songs that you're singing. Hey, what's your favorite Forrest Frank song? Or what's your favorite worship song we sing on Sundays? Or, hey, what scripture are you memorizing right now in Awana? Let's do it together as a family. Let them kind of lead a little bit of it.
00:13:37
Speaker
I think it gives them some ownership to it if they're picking some of the parts. Right. Uh, I have a family that I know that kind of does something and I can't remember the exact words they use, but they kind of start around the dinner table by saying, what was your favorite part of the day? What was your least favorite part of the day?
00:13:53
Speaker
So that kind of gives you a starting place for conversation. You know, I, had a bad test today, didn't do very good. Or I got to hit, I hit a home run in baseball. You can talk about real life stuff right and how it connects to to the family. That conversation is going to be important too when they're older, knowing that they can come talk to you and you can talk to them too. and You know what? Let's back up. Let's go to point number one. In addition to doing this, no cell phones allowed.
00:14:16
Speaker
Oh, yeah you got to take them out of the room, right turn them off, do whatever you got to do. And again, it signals a strong message to your kids. This is so important. yeah we We think it deserves our undivided attention. right We've got to be engaged in this.
00:14:31
Speaker
um It's not about being perfect every time. Sometimes family worship can get messy, um especially as you, again, get into older children who have real emotions involved with some of the things that you're talking about, some of the things you're praying.
00:14:47
Speaker
um So keep it consistent.
Resources and Community Involvement
00:14:50
Speaker
Keep moving forward. Keep it simple. Make sure you engage them. I'm just kind of revisiting some of those things because I want to come back to an important question.
00:14:59
Speaker
From your perspective as someone who leads our adults, particularly our parents, you somebody who works with the kids, but also the parents who are bringing those kids, what do we do as a church to come alongside these families to reinforce those messages and help them out? what If I'm a new person to Grove Hill Church and I walk in and say, how can you help me? What are the things you're going to offer me to help get this started and keep it moving?
00:15:22
Speaker
I think there's a lot of roles and responsibilities that we have to look at as we start this process. And ah first off, we as the church, you mentioned it earlier, we're a supporting role. We are not the main role. ah God has originated it being started in the family. And we do want to come alongside you though and give you the simple things, not complex.
00:15:45
Speaker
But secondly, I would say ah Make sure that whatever it is you're doing, ah you're not getting so much into the emotional ah parts, feelings, stuff about this walk that we have with God.
00:16:01
Speaker
Make sure you're speaking truth, that you're just going back to scripture and every aspect of what you're trying to voice to your kids. It's not... Hey, how are you feeling? It's good to get that gauge from your kids, but you're supposed to speak truth first. And then how do we view how God is looking at our lives? How do we kind of put those things into play?
00:16:21
Speaker
But yeah, I think roles and responsibilities ah are important. Family first, church is backing you up. that That's kind of where it starts. so Yeah. What do you got? I think giving them resources too that they can use at home is huge. I have a lot of parents email me, hey, what kind of Bibles can I use for this age kid or what...
00:16:40
Speaker
What can I share with my friend that doesn't know about Jesus? I think reaching out and asking for solid resources. Check check them. Don't let them just be some random book that you found at Target. That's crazy. Make sure it's solid information and truth that we're speaking to our kids.
00:16:57
Speaker
um and And engage in a life group. Speak to other people your age. See what they're doing. yes find a Find a mentor family. Find somebody that you That's a great Hey, there're there they've got kids a little bit older than mine. Their kids are well-behaved. They're participating in church. Let me go ask them what they're doing to make this ah priority. Just seek that godly wisdom.
00:17:19
Speaker
And do your research before you do that. Don't ask the family with the hellion
Teaching Faith Through Everyday Moments
00:17:22
Speaker
kids. Right. It's not the ones you want. Right. it's not. You you want the ones that are actually living and walking the walk, those kinds of things. Right. ah You talked about resources. That's incredibly important. Yeah. And first of all, as youre your friend, your pastor, I love the fact that you are very verse very well versed in that because I hear you handing out Bibles and material all the time.
00:17:41
Speaker
and That's really, really key. There's great resources on the internet. Always, always check those first because there's some bad stuff out there. Parading is Christianity. if you If you have a doubt, reach out to one of us. But you're very seldom going to go wrong with organizations like Focus on the Family, Empowered Homes, Answers in Genesis, the Family Life Today people. I mean, there's there's great resources out there, but we can plug you in with some of that information.
00:18:07
Speaker
A couple other things that I want to say. Number one, the passage you started off with, I always want to underline this with people. It says, as you walk, as you sit, as you stand, the best time to teach is the moment you are in. Absolutely. Don't wait to the family worship time at night to do that. But as you're walking along and say, you see some kid in the aisle that's pitching a fit, it's great opportunity look at your kid and say, why does that behavior not honor God?
00:18:32
Speaker
Well, that's one of my girlfriends this morning was talking about, they use scripture a lot in their discipline. When they discipline their kids, they bring it back to the word. And yeah Why are we not doing that? yeah i I talk to kids all the time. God made your hands for this reason. God made your feet for this reason. let's yeah Everything, every opportunity is an opportunity to bring it back to the Word of God. right Another thing that I think is really important is you have permission not to pretend that you are a professor or a theologian with all the answers.
00:19:00
Speaker
In fact, I think one of the things that's most helpful for a kid as they grow in their faith is for mom and dad to say, you know what? I really don't know the answer to your question. Let's go talk to one of the pastors or let's dig into the word or let's go to the website where we, and and let's look at those things because parents who try to pretend like they know everything,
00:19:19
Speaker
are very often exposed by the the curiosity of their kids. yeah And it's worse for them to see that than to see you just being real and going, you know what? I really don't know the answer to that. Let's see if we can figure it out together. And it's a great way to involve them as well.
00:19:32
Speaker
um So yeah, don't feel like you had to be a theologian. Enjoy them in everyday life. Teach them as they walk, as they sit, as they stand, as they play baseball, whatever the case may be.
00:19:43
Speaker
Any final thoughts that you want to add to any of this? I've
Cultural Challenges in Spiritual Leadership
00:19:48
Speaker
got something that's kind of been burning on me. I'm thinking, how do I fit this in? I really do think, and this is going to push up against a lot of culture, ah but parents, there needs to be that role on responsibility as you kind of go and define some of this at the very ah starting point.
00:20:09
Speaker
You need to know that your kid's not going to want to just go in full force and say, oh yeah, i want to learn about this. So you have to be the decider in this and this discussion that you start with your kids, because there's going to a lot of times I even have it with my kids.
00:20:26
Speaker
I don't want to pray tonight. I want to do this. I hear a lot from people, oh, well, my kid didn't want to go to church and my kid didn't want to do this. Parents, you are the one that should be initiating all these things.
00:20:41
Speaker
ah sin nature comes easy. yes ah This nature that opposes God, that comes easy. We're trying to have this renewing of the mind for our kids.
00:20:53
Speaker
And that starts because parents make a conscious decision to say, you may not feel like it. And that's why I said earlier, you know, don't get into anything really ah that is not Bible centric, whether it's the curriculum stuff you were talking about, unless it is Bible centric and pointed towards Hey, let's do this whether you like it or not and start to cultivate a rhythm of following God even in the hard times.
00:21:18
Speaker
Romans 12 to do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind so that you may discern what is good, pleasing and perfect will of God. It's good. I want to I want to add a huge amen to that because nothing nothing frustrates me more for a parent to go.
00:21:35
Speaker
But we decided to go to this church because our kids really enjoy it. So what you're doing is you're teaching kid to be a consumer. Okay. Now I'm not saying your kid should hate church in order for it to be successful. I'm just saying the kid should not be the determining factor because your kid might be enjoying it because they have a slide outside. They really like, not because they're being taught the the word of God.
00:21:55
Speaker
So it's, It's essential that parents be involved in the conversation coming home from church to say, okay, tell me what you learned today. What are you doing in your class? And then decide, okay, is this the place where my kid's going to get the teachings about Jesus Christ they need? Or are they just being entertained to death?
00:22:11
Speaker
Right. and And that happens, unfortunately, far too often in our culture. So I want to close unless you've got something No, I was just going encourage parents just to give yourself grace because it's not going to be this beautiful, perfect worship service
Embracing Imperfect Worship
00:22:26
Speaker
every time. It may be dancing in the living room to worship music. It may be over ice cream, having a worship, but whatever it is. Just make sure you give yourself some grace. Ice cream is a great place to worship.
00:22:36
Speaker
It's not going to be perfect every time. Just start. Just do it. Yeah. yeah So start small, just like teaching on to walk one step at a time. Keep it simple. Keep it consistent.
Conclusion and Support Invitation
00:22:47
Speaker
And then remember this really important passage from Isaiah 55, verse 10 and 11. It says, verse ten and eleven it says for just as rain and snow fallll from heaven and do not return there without saturating the earth and making it germinate and sprout and providing seed to sow and food to eat so my word that comes from my mouth will not return empty But it will accomplish what I please and will prosper in what I send it to do. So any way that you put that seed in your kid's life is ah is a success. It's a win.
00:23:14
Speaker
It'll come back to you. thanks for joining us today as you can tell we're really passionate about this we love this subject because we love your kids and if you're needing help i mean don't have to be a member of grove field church if you're just going hey i i live in middle of nowhere texas and i just need help but with with uh my kids and trying to get something like this started reach out to us we'd love to get you engaged in a consistent again simple time of worship with your kids we'd love to point you to some great resources and help you out in that regard As always, we're here. We're happy to be serving you and doing this podcast. We love that you guys are already starting to follow us.
00:23:52
Speaker
If you haven't already, click on the like button and follow us and be here every week to join us for whatever conversations are coming up next. And again, if you have conversations you want us to participate in, you're saying, hey, I've always wanted to know the answer to this whatever.
00:24:05
Speaker
we We'd love to have you do that. want to say thanks to our special guest today, Lori. you having me. It's a delight to have you come down the hall and join us here in the conference room today. John, thanks as always for your wisdom. Be praying for Kyle and our mission team. And we'll look forward to seeing you back here next week. We have no idea where the subject is going to go, but I promise you it will be built on this word of God and nothing else. We love you and hope you have a great week.