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The Kill Power Hour #074 - Eric's 4th List
207 Plays10 months ago
Season three comes to an end with our last entry to the "Here is a list" theme being provided by none other than the man with no brother, our host Eric. Eric's fourth list covers everything from jobs we'd be terrible at, the pro's and con's of freelancing, locking the door/holding the door, printed matter, public access and our last meals (don't worry, Tucker doesn't pick pizza). This is the last episode--enjoy!
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Transcript
Introduction and Theme Setting
00:00:05
Speaker
Hello and welcome to the Kill Power Hour, podcast where three friends spend the better part of an hour arguing and explaining why we're just trying to make it through the middle of our lives, one crisis at a time. Each week we go through a list. This week we'll be discussing my fourth list, which will take us from manners to nanners. Nanners.
00:00:23
Speaker
I'm your host, Eric. As always, I'm joined by my best friend, Tucker. Mind your nanners. And my best friend's little brother. Yep. I made it. You did.
Season Highlights and Confusions
00:00:34
Speaker
think So and do we need to have like an intervention right away? I feel like you kind of started that intro off. Like what's the crisis? Is this a personal, do we need to hold you?
00:00:44
Speaker
Oh, no, I think we're all going through midlife crises. it's just oh I think that's that's sort of the overarching theme of this podcast. like It seems to be revealed in the third season. Ah!
00:00:57
Speaker
So, yeah, that's what I was picking up. This is also the the last episode of the season. Kind of a short season, but also an experimental one. But I will say this is the season where I feel like I got to know the most about you guys.
00:01:11
Speaker
Weird. Wait, is this season three or season four? I don't even know anymore. This is season three. Okay, cool. My enthusiasm towards Cleopatra would, I thought, just explained every part of me, but I guess so.
00:01:25
Speaker
didnt Didn't lead everything on. Yeah. It does a pretty good job, but it leaves out a few pieces. feel like the but the episode that's gonna come out next is Rhinestone.
Exploring Job Inadequacies with Humor
00:01:35
Speaker
That surely explained a lot about you, Tyler.
00:01:37
Speaker
Holy shit. Oh yeah, what's the one that just dropped? I missed this one. That was All the President's Men. Oh shit. yeah That was a good movie. Wayback Machine.
00:01:49
Speaker
Do another podcast season of us watching the same movies. Our podcast. Listening to our podcast. i'm Doing reviews of the episode. These dudes are so good. Alright, this is the list.
00:02:02
Speaker
The last list. What are the jobs that you know you would be terrible at? Well, first of all, all the ones I had before now. Oh,
00:02:16
Speaker
oh God. Like what's a doctor? Surgeon. Because of just blood. Yeah, I can't do it, man. I would just get bored halfway through and not want to complete the mission.
00:02:27
Speaker
but My ADHD is pink right now. who finish this. yeah Yeah. Yeah. Holy shit. I would tell you get into him, like, whoa, look at that thing. Whoa, look at that thing. I don't know if I want to take this thing out. This guy flatlined again. a police officer would be tough. oh that's a good one. Yeah. The stuff that you would see every day would, like, fuck you up hard.
00:02:52
Speaker
Oh, my God, yeah. yeah I've i have said this before, but i feel like police officers should be, like, 20 hours a week police officer, like, 20 hours a week fucking...
00:03:03
Speaker
I don't know. Go read the kids in a fucking library. And you've got to live in the community you serve. I think that's mad crucial. But there should be some happiness there, man. I can't. Like domestic stuff and like all the shit.
00:03:16
Speaker
Fuck, man. That would wear me out. Crisis counselor. 911 caller. oh hell no. 911 caller. I mean. I wish that was a job. Yeah. yeah always out with a job you gotta feel What's your emergency? I don't know.
00:03:36
Speaker
But this is my job, so got to show up. having a midlife crisis. Midlife crisis. not Not quite the surgeon, Tyler, but I would put vet on my list because I i just don't like sick animals. Sick animals just make me so sad. that you I thought were going to say six animals.
00:03:56
Speaker
Six. Guess the six animals that make me so sad. I'm fine with five or seven, but dude, those sixes, man. Just start crying. Yeah, that'd be Every time I've been to like the Humane Society or whatever, and they're putting like animals down in the other room and people just fucking screaming and shit. I'm like, Oh man god you can hear it.
00:04:16
Speaker
Yeah, dude. Like wow I remember this one time as I was there to get my dog put down, which was terrible. I afterwards I fucking went into the parking lot and had a fucking panic attack. But while I'm dealing with my shit, I'm alone in this room with the fucking lady doctor and the,
00:04:31
Speaker
That didn't sound right. Lady doctor, like the gynecologist? Yeah, no, no. And then next next door, this lady's daughter is like with her. She's putting the cat down. And this lady, this old older lady, is just fucking screaming.
00:04:46
Speaker
And the daughter's like, you didn't even cry this much when dad died. Just cut it out. Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's this shit going on, like, in the room next door, and I can hear it, and there's my dead dog in front of me, and, like. Oh, you they left you alone in the room with the dead dog just for, like.
00:05:02
Speaker
Well, they're like, you do you want your, do your shit? I'm like, I don't. and I couldn't answer. I couldn't say any fucking words. yeah You want to get weird with this dog? Yeah, we'll look the other way.
00:05:13
Speaker
Jesus Christ. ah No one will hear anything over the sobbing woman next door. Yeah, no shit. At the Lindale Animal Hospital, I think they're still around, but they were great. They had a little candle out front, and they so they lit it when that was happening.
00:05:31
Speaker
And it was like a thing like, hey, this is happening right now. Please be quiet and like respect this person's peace. Yeah. No watching YouTube videos at top speed. It's like a fucking bonfire out front. They're just killing dogs all day.
00:05:46
Speaker
Yikes. A whole lot of candles. What about you? Hotel, like house like housekeeping, which I've had that job. Yeah. And I was terrible at it because we would try to get out of work as quick as possible.
00:06:02
Speaker
So we would just make the rooms look like we cleaned them, but we didn't clean them. I'm pretty sure that's what everybody does because every hotel I go to, it's so bummed out. That's just a, you're not, bad I mean, you're choosing to be bad at that.
00:06:16
Speaker
Like when you clean, when you clean your own house and stuff like that, you do a good job, right? Well, yeah. So, but that's not my job. I don't know.
00:06:27
Speaker
What the fuck? There's, there's stuff in life. I just have a mental block for, um, fucking, mopping
Humorous Life Reflections and Work Experiences
00:06:35
Speaker
floors. I fucking can't do it. You're just pushing the shit around. Yeah, you pushing shit around. It's the dumbest thing in the world. I as well fucking throw a bucket of water or cleaner on the floor and just give me all my towels. I'll go buy new ones. Like, fuck this. Like, mops are the dumbest thing in the world. I love mopping.
00:06:51
Speaker
ah I think... A house painter. I would be like really good at the first house. And then again, my ADHD would kick in. I'm like, God damn it. yeah Can someone do this trim work for me?
00:07:03
Speaker
Anything that's repetitive that's not cool. Done. Oh, man. My mom got paid... from like one of our neighbors and she would just sit in the garage and chain smoke and all she had to do was sort screws.
00:07:15
Speaker
Oh my God, I want to that. She would just listen to the radio. Yeah, it was like, I mean, this is probably- This was 87. Yeah, exactly, late 80s. where How did all these screws get mixed together? At this point, it's cheaper to throw the screws away and buy the screws rather than pay a person. this point, it's cheaper to kill my mom, throw the screws away and pretend the job never existed. Thank God.
00:07:39
Speaker
Holy shit. Have you guys ever had to work with a micromanager? oh Yes. Yeah. that That can pretty much ruin a job like immediately for me. Even if you want to do a good job at the job, you can't.
00:07:51
Speaker
Yep. When someone like that. Time to go. Yeah. Being a cashier at CompUSA, that would be a bad job, which I also did. There's jobs that- That'd be a bad job because it's not a job anymore. If the pay was like equal to what I'm making now- And I could go fucking deliver the mail.
00:08:11
Speaker
Oh, that'd be great. Oh my God. Yeah. I've appreciated the ability to just check the fuck out and get a paycheck. That's not what I currently do or can do. And I haven't been able to do Yeah. You're checked in. Yeah. Fucking all the time. But there is some leeway there. I think, I feel like if you could get a, really good wage and,
00:08:33
Speaker
Check out and fucking, I wouldn't want to work in like a gross factory, but like. Yeah. Like GPS. Barista. I couldn't be a barista. I actually know a lot of happy USB, USB.
00:08:45
Speaker
USB drives. I'm always sticking things in. it's happy. yeah totally no UPS well they've got unionized they have great pay good benefits my sister's husband like works the the UPS in the airport like 8 hours a week what? yep and just like why only 8?
00:09:08
Speaker
I think it's enough for what he needs holy shit yeah yeah it's yeah he has like another job just extra pay Sorting screws.
00:09:18
Speaker
Sorting screws. Yeah, he's in my garage right now with my mom. he get paid with cigarettes? Holy shit. All right, next one. I forgot to lock the front door the other night and I woke up and I saw it and i was like, and I was like, wait, I'm okay.
00:09:38
Speaker
I'm okay.
Security Anxieties and Domestic Habits
00:09:39
Speaker
You care? tell me more about this because this is the one that I got excited about because I have- Well, don't don't people like- I grew up being like, always make sure the front door is locked.
00:09:51
Speaker
like Yeah. Like locking the doors at night was like- For what reason? you So important to our safety. You grew in fucking Circle Pines. Oh, I know. Exactly. like there were like But still, burglars, rapists, just people going out to murder you. like There was this ah sense of fear that people came out at night to go into your home. and I lived in a house without a front door, and I think it broke me of dysphobia. Whoa. Was that house also referred to as a barn?
00:10:20
Speaker
it was an Alamo. It didn't have a front door for a while. How long? Three, four months in the middle of summer. Jesus Christ. There would fucking 40 people there. There squirrels and shit. Yeah, there would be 40 people there when I got home sometimes and just whatever.
00:10:35
Speaker
Okay. it It makes you think about you shouldn't have anything worth worth anything because someone could take it. Yeah.
00:10:45
Speaker
That's true. And then you just kind of fucking chill out. Like everything's going to be okay. Or it's not. And PS, that could be the way it is at any fucking second the day. Right now, a fucking plane could crash into... I'm going flying tomorrow, so let's not do this the plane crash. What do you mean flying?
00:11:02
Speaker
I'm going flying. I'm flying to Maine tomorrow. Yeah, it's going to Portland. For work. Okay. What about you, Tucker? Dude. Do you sleep with your door open? No. So I, I bug out about the doors being locked at night for sure.
00:11:17
Speaker
Yeah. And I have a person in my life who leaves the doors unlocked a lot. Actually, we have a joke because when I'm outside doing something like literally in the driveway, that's when she'll lock the door and got my keys and shit her in the house and I'll get locked out all the time. Like, but at night, like, you know, and it happens. I, I do it too occasionally, but sure.
00:11:40
Speaker
Um,
00:11:42
Speaker
Thursday night last week, so probably around the time you were thinking these things out. Yeah. I'm, it's five o'clock. So it is hours away from it being daytime. People are, or nighttime.
00:11:56
Speaker
People are coming home. I just got home. I'm washing like the coffee mugs that shouldn't go in the dishwasher. ah As in, watching Transformers episodes.
00:12:07
Speaker
And I thought our dog was in the back. barking at a rabbit on the other side of the fence, which is like typical. And there's like some lawn mowing. So, there's like a lot of commotion.
00:12:18
Speaker
Again, it's like 5 o'clock. What I didn't hear The bricks in front window. well Oh, well, okay. So, we on our front door, we have like a regular wood solid house door, but there's like a storm door in front of it, like a yeah thick glass, but whatever, you know.
00:12:35
Speaker
And I have the regular door open and the storm door is there. And I'm always like, you know, the storm doors, all glass, you can see into the house. And I'm always like, make sure that shit's locked, you know, whatever.
00:12:46
Speaker
And luckily it was because what I didn't hear was happening was that some bugged out motherfucker was like trying to get into my house and then proceeds to go to my spigot, turn the water on and is drinking from my hose.
00:13:08
Speaker
And my neighbor across the street, who's the watcher on the block, calls me. And luckily, my phone was on the counter. And it's like, she never calls me. Right? Ever. She's like always watching everybody. She's like the one that's paranoid about like the car parked. Totally. Yeah.
00:13:23
Speaker
But dude, thank God she did. She calls me. She's like, ah there's someone who is just trying to get into your house. And now he's drinking from your hose in your yard. And he's not, does not look good. And I'm like, oh, God.
00:13:36
Speaker
So like I dry my hands real quick. I don't have shoes on or shit. I run outside and this fucking ragged ass looking dude, no shoes, no socks, no shirt. covered in foam and mucus all over his face hanging off of his face like a foot or so like looking super bugged out with the backpack and his shoes down at the end of my yard he comes creeping out i mean like a fucking troll he's like hey man i need to drink your water can i trust you can i trust you can i trust you don't call the cops man can i trust you oh man i just need to drink some tomorrow i was like and i'm just like what are you doing
00:14:12
Speaker
What are you doing? He's like, can I trust you? I was like, answer my questions. What are you doing here? He's on drugs. No, he's overdosing and he's trying to drink all my water and he's fucking. I drink all your water? I drink all your eye all right. So here comes a guy who's clearly in need of medical attention and you're like, stop trying to drink my water.
00:14:31
Speaker
Drink all my water. In the Nick Cage voice too. Bunny. So this dude is like, ah so this dude it's like Can I trust you? Don't call the cops, whatever. I'm like, you got what is going on, man? why are What is happening? like Just trying to get him to say anything and that makes any sort of sense. And he's kind of like walking closer to me. And I mean, he's like a disgusting mess.
00:14:57
Speaker
Sure. If I would have gotten a battle with this dude, I would have been more bugged out by how gross he was and what going to get touched with than having a the physical part of it. like I'm grossed out and freaked out at the same time.
00:15:10
Speaker
And he's like, God, you know, talk about God bless, blah, blah, blah. i was like, I don't do God. Start answering my questions. Oh no, Tucker. You just opened up. but And then he's just like mumbling some more. I was like, that's fine, dude, grab your shit get the fuck out of here. You know?
00:15:23
Speaker
And he's just like, I was like, get the fuck out of here. Like, and there's these two little girls down the street that are walking like running up the street to either see my kid or this other one a little closer and they just freeze.
00:15:34
Speaker
Because he's walking down the street, dragging his bag and then stopping and talking to the ground and stuff. And they're like frozen. And they ran up to this dude's house. Yeah. Anyway, I'm glad my door was locked because I would have had it this dude inside my house.
00:15:51
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, he probably would have left if you had asked, but still. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's interesting that – was there any compassion at any point or was it all fear?
00:16:05
Speaker
No, I mean, it started with, like, what are you doing? What's going on? And, like, just trying to get some sort of, like – basis for why he was where he was. Yeah, but he's clearly gone. Like, you can't ask questions expecting a logical response to someone like that.
00:16:22
Speaker
yeah They're out of their minds. They're out of their minds. So, it I feel like, and again, I was not in this situation. You were. and like i But I feel like I would try and be like, hey, are you okay?
00:16:37
Speaker
Like, what do you need? Yeah. You just need some water? Okay, here, fill up this jug of water and then get going. and Yeah. if you're still around, I'm going to call a doctor to see what's going on. Well, so I called, so I was confused by why he didn't want me to call the cops.
00:16:52
Speaker
Because he needed his help. he He clearly needed help. Yeah, but the cops don't help people in Minneapolis, Tucker. Well. They murder them. Well.
00:17:03
Speaker
Sometimes. Right. Yeah. I mean, yeah. No. So there's because the cop shortage, if you call a, if you call in nine one one and say like the previous job I worked at, it was right off of Washington.
00:17:15
Speaker
So at least two or three times a week, I would call in nine one one, say there's a person distress yeah and just give them their description because there was a, like a brothel thing down the street.
00:17:27
Speaker
There was a guy that always took his pants off and did all kinds of crazy drugs and, Well, yeah, you ask them what they need. You don't say anything. It's like the fucking taxi ride.
00:17:38
Speaker
Don't talk about sports. Don't talk about religion. Don't bring up anything. Stop every sentence. Yeah. And in like, just let things go. Because if you get into a conversation, then it fucking goes down a road. Yeah. And, uh,
00:17:51
Speaker
Well, your question is a valid one, EC, but i you know I deal with so the stores on Central. Yeah. And we have clean bathrooms that are replenished and stuff constantly. and Right. You got a code on those or no?
00:18:03
Speaker
No. And it's just like lots of really wasted folks, lots of crack smokers, lots of like transient people. people, lots of abuser. We've had lots of like domestic things end up in the, you know, in the store.
00:18:20
Speaker
And I'm, I mean, it's every couple of weeks I am like walking someone out the store or having to call the 411 to get someone's help. And I think
00:18:34
Speaker
it's an interesting question and it's a good one that you asked because i I deal with this sort of activity. Yeah. on the regular. But the, and I don't, I don't know if I felt more threatened or if like, it definitely was a different response. I mean, it wasn't like a totally callous, like you disgusting freak, get the fuck off my yard. But like, it was like, I didn't have a lot of patience, yeah you know, for what wasn't happening and what was happening at the same time.
00:19:05
Speaker
Whereas like I exert that on the regular at work. So, I mean, it's, a Yeah, it was it was a really, it it it struck me and it like freaked Ebsen out. Like he's been freaked out for like a week and a half now.
00:19:19
Speaker
Or not a week and a half, about a week because it was last Thursday. Yeah. um It was weird. we get there's no right There's no right way to, when you're in these situations, like,
00:19:31
Speaker
It's good to think retrospect, like, what you could have done better or whatever, but you know, you're in the fucking moment. i mean, we had this, ah I lived in a house, the one over by Sertix when we had the pig roast. Oh yeah. so Yeah.
00:19:42
Speaker
There was a, it was a duplex. So people would come to the house looking for the girls upstairs and they would just walk in my front door. And and if my front door not locked. yeah. they would just walk in and just like, I had, I was standing in the kitchen making fucking dinner and this dude just walks in all like smiling and shit.
00:19:59
Speaker
And I'm like, hello. He's like, I'm looking for fucking whatever. like, yeah, not here, like whatever. And some nights we had like people that were like super drunk, like just pounding on the door. remember like those times I was fucking so pissed. I had to go to work the next day. I was good with all them partying upstairs and like all that shit. And I'm just like,
00:20:21
Speaker
not being a fucking kind person, but they can go fuck themselves. i mean, like, why you join the party? Yeah. What else? You were trying to go to sleep. Is this a different Tyler than the one you've been talking to? For real. For real.
00:20:35
Speaker
Those, those two hours of sleep every night are precious, man. you might Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. All right. ah Oh, I also think it's good to remember what we had 100 years ago in terms of like security. Yeah. Like guns.
00:20:51
Speaker
People just what like shitty guns. Like fucking ones that you had to. Yeah, muskets. You had to pack the pellets yourself. Yeah. Shooting rocks at each other. Think about that when I watch like movies set in the past.
00:21:04
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Would you just go for a walk? Yeah. that you don't know is going to end and just like make shelter and find food along the way. Oh my God, dude. Like we're, so we're all so soft by comparison. Yeah. You don't need to worry about these mucusy men. You need worry about fucking wolves.
00:21:22
Speaker
Well, dude, I was laying in bed last night thinking about cowboys, not like sleeping on the ground and like setting fires. So the rattlesnakes wouldn't come. And like, it's always been ah is always one person had to be on watch.
00:21:35
Speaker
Can you imagine that? Just picking one person in your house that has to stay awake all night. So the rest of the family can sleep. Fuck that. Yeah. You know it would be you too. Oh, yeah. Of course it be. There's no one else in your family. That's why my response was, fuck that. I instantly, like, someone raised my hand for me. All right. Next one on the list.
00:21:55
Speaker
More mail, please. how much Please. How much mail do you guys get? Not enough. what I love it. Tyler, do you know what that box at the end of your driveway does? It's attached to my house. what kind of made up i get all kinds of like terrible shit.
00:22:09
Speaker
Nobody needs a young plumber coupon. What's that? Real shit. I'm interested in the discounts available from my local plumber. Jesus Christ.
00:22:21
Speaker
Get a fucking book and read it. All right. elaborate Elaborate on this. I think particularly miss catalogs. Oh, yeah. I miss companies big shelling out shelling out tons of fucking cash, trying to make these like lavishly illustrated, beautifully produced. 400 page Chasey Penny's catalog. Give it to me.
00:22:41
Speaker
Going through that. Like, if you're a company out there and and clearly your interns are just wasting time, well, we've got an idea for you. Pretty big fucking catalog, man.
00:22:52
Speaker
If your demographic is white dudes from the Midwest in their 40s. Yeah. Well, we got some great ideas. thick expensive catalogs are still there in the industrial world. and why are Yeah, Northern Tool. I'm sure Tucker's and No, I'm fucking Tucker. How many Uline catalogs have we got? Oh, Jesus. Uline is not a a nice catalog. You know what? Actually, read through it, man. That's like 600 pages. That's the one catalog I still get. My favorite section is like all the shitty free gifts you get to choose from. Oh, yeah. Like the du the' the dumbest merch for like Go Packers. Oh, my God.
00:23:27
Speaker
That's right. They've got Wisconsin. I do love the fact that Uline and Uline is a shitty company. No one should ever use them. Yeah. Their catalog shows photographs of every kind of fucking cardboard box you can buy from them. And who needs a fucking phone?
00:23:43
Speaker
All right. Add to my ah jobs I know I'd be terrible at. The photographer, the product photographer at Uline. Wouldn't that great job though? Cardboard box. that be so good?
00:23:57
Speaker
Northern Tool has a decent catalog. Oh, yeah? How's it decent? Is it similar to Uline? ah No, because there's like more cool stuff in there. It's like just cool stuff. Like, oh, this interview with a hammer. No.
00:24:13
Speaker
Holy shit, the editor's always like, nailed it.
00:24:17
Speaker
Jesus Christ. ah Man, I got an eye roll out of Tyler. I know that was good one. um Yeah, this catalog, I did catalogs, but you know what? it's Victoria's Secret?
00:24:30
Speaker
Not anymore. No, back in the 90s. is Is that even a company anymore? I'm sure it's probably called- It's just fucking kiosk in your local mall. I think it went the way of the Red Lobster.
00:24:42
Speaker
Did it? um I think so. i don't think they have any stores. I like getting cards for people's like exhibitions that they're having. It still exists.
00:24:53
Speaker
It still exists. Yeah. I wish people wrote. What about exhibitionists? Victoria's Secret still exists. Oh, sorry. Okay. I'm like, yeah, I still get these. hooker ah But like, when's the last time you got a postcard?
00:25:09
Speaker
Like someone was on a trip and they fucking wrote you a postcard. I told someone to send me a postcard a week and a half ago. Yeah, I've told people to send me postcards. It never happens. Yeah, it didn't happen. Easy. You have to find fucking stamps. wonder why.
00:25:24
Speaker
What are stamps? Fucking $4 nowadays? They're pretty expensive. Yeah, postcard stamps are even cheaper. Remember when I went on a stamp? These are postcard stamps. Little pictures of Barnes. First of all, you opened... Your desk has...
00:25:40
Speaker
A file cabinet, yeah. There you go. Yeah, that's pretty awesome. You'll get one when you turn 44. Jesus Christ, a few people that- It's coming for you, buddy. Yeah. Wait, you don't have a filing cabinet?
00:25:52
Speaker
Where do you keep short documents? He doesn't have a calendar. Everything in his day is loved is mine. a clock. Exactly, yeah File cabinets will come much, much later. Oh, my God. And I also like Christmas cards.
00:26:07
Speaker
and My favorite is when people do the yearly letter. like and A lot of people get lazy like those and they just have the the the pictures of their family. And and Tucker, yours was very beautiful this year. Thank you. You should ah maybe think about doing one.
00:26:23
Speaker
Yeah, I'll work on it. It's mainly for the rest of us to know that the kids are safe. If we could just get an updated picture of them. That doesn't clearly seem like an AI creation. I should make them look really scared and they have like secret little things that say help us.
00:26:40
Speaker
It's like well the shadow of a gun is on the backdrop. Oh my God. Oh dude, the Sears catalog. That was a big one. But yeah, I like trying to summarize your entire year.
00:26:54
Speaker
um Those are always fun to see. Dude, that was an Instagram of of your. ah guess so, yeah. Because you never say, oh, Susan. oh susan They had a fucking overdose this year and Larry's gout is back and, you know, like, you didn't, none of that showed up. It was all smoothed over. it was all pictures of the vacations.
00:27:18
Speaker
ah We went on this ah yeah vacation and we did these things, which is exactly what Instagram is nowadays. or I want to see Facebook. I want to see a Christmas card where it's just the photographs.
00:27:30
Speaker
Like, they've installed security cameras in their house, it's just the photographs where the family is, like, at their lowest. Dinner's just on the ground. Kids are crying.
00:27:41
Speaker
Holy shit. Dad's trying to throw a punch, but clearly missing. I just found a website that has all of the hey big... Hey, Tucker. We're going need you to focus on the podcast that's happening here. I'm not just looking at websites while Tyler and I are having a conversation. I found like Sears and Montgomery Wards and JCPenney's catalogs all the way back to 1940. Oh, yeah. Page by page. Well, at least let the fucking listeners know what this website is called. It's called christmas.musetechnical.com.
00:28:15
Speaker
dot com Jesus Christ. sir Yeah, it's kind of fucking emotion it's a weird. It's a weird website. All right. Well, that's great. Archive.org also has lots of old ah manuals and catalogs.
00:28:30
Speaker
um You guys ever go on the Wayback Machine? Oh, it's great. I fucking love that. That's a website? Yeah. No, it's part of the archive.org. Hold on. merk Listen. Great. All right. So the rest of the podcast will be Tyler and I in conversation while Tucker looks at websites. You ever gone to Yahoo.com? No. AltaVista.com? What was the, I was a web crawler kid.
00:28:52
Speaker
Oh, same. Okay. But there was AltaVista kids. Oh, yeah. And Yahoo kids. Yeah. And Lycos. I had a Lycos email. Really? Yeah, but I loved the web crawler. That was... It felt special.
00:29:06
Speaker
Did you ever ask Jeeves? No, I never did. What's the fuck? My favorite part, my favorite building in the Bay Area, like when I lived there, there was still like ah like a 10-story Ask Jeeves building.
00:29:19
Speaker
No way. Yeah, across the bridge, like i think in Oakland area. It just made me laugh every time I saw that. Was I just... occupied with jeebs yeah i mean they they hadn't taken down the signage yet at least all the jeebs hanging out there all the questions dude i i was thinking about nets uh netscape the other day yeah netscape was great it wasn't remember what netscape turned into something that we all use i forget no they sold it and then turned that money into everything else we've ever used yeah okay
00:29:50
Speaker
Yeah. Right? Andreessen, Mark Andreessen was part of that. And then what's the other guy? Fogarty? It had us like a little splash screen. yeah. And you could download that file and edit it. And so when we changed it to all of the like the computer class yeah in high school, so when it started, it just said nut scrape.
00:30:18
Speaker
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:30:24
Speaker
ah the we were The kids knew more about the computers than the teacher. Oh my God, absolutely. The teachers were just like, what the fuck is this stuff? And so they just left it. Oh God, not again. He didn't know how to change it. Holy fuck, nutscraper.
00:30:43
Speaker
Can you imagine having a computer class now? Right? God damn it. Can you just hold on. That brings me up the fact of how many IT and computer teachers I have but or IT people that knew nothing about computers. yeah Not a single thing. I worked at this fucking technical college where this guy's name was Terry.
00:31:07
Speaker
We called him Tit. Terry the IT guy. Yeah. And ah his solution to everything was he would, if you fucking made like a service ticket, your computer would disappear and he would reformat it or like put a new hard drive in it and just yeah give you a computer back.
00:31:26
Speaker
Holy Completely wiped out. So then you have to redo all of your login and all this shit. my God. So if you had anything on your computer and there's any sort of issues, you would just not call the IT guy because you would lose all of it. Yeah. Holy fuck.
00:31:38
Speaker
I like how Terry is a real fucking but martial law. Yeah. real man Fucking judge dread He's like, oh, your computer's sick. We'll put it down.
00:31:53
Speaker
We're not going have this thing limping along. Holy shit. All right, next point. I just want do puzzles lately. That is way older comment than 44.
00:32:04
Speaker
Not physical puzzles. Not the, I'm buying a box of cut-up cardboard and trying to put it back together. I'm not talking about that that. My mom does that. My mother-in-law does that.
00:32:15
Speaker
It seems kind of fun, but I just don't have the patience still for that. What are those people doing with their lives? Yeah. yeah Go for a walk. um Smoke a cigarette.
00:32:26
Speaker
I'm kidding there. Jesus Christ, man. I will say like the crossword puzzle, New York Times. I don't do Sudoku or Sodo... I don't know what how you say I don't so do that game.
00:32:36
Speaker
Sudoku. Sudoku. And what else? Oh, like ah some of the puzzle games on the Switch, like Professor Layton. That was more on the Game Boy and stuff like that. Like puzzle-based games. oh They're great.
00:32:49
Speaker
Like that. And I would say, yeah, to an extension, like a little bit of video games or even board games. Like just just playing a game. Yeah. I just want to do that.
00:33:01
Speaker
It seems safe. I'm engaging yeah usually with people or exercising my brain. and Even if I lose, I don't feel like a failure. It's yeah still like fun. I love playing solitaire, like the original solitaire.
00:33:17
Speaker
When iPhones came out, it was like the first game. What game? Solitaire. Oh, just solitaire. Oh, dude. And if you turn the Wi-Fi off, your phone won't get caught up in those ads for some other shitty game that lasts like 30 seconds.
00:33:33
Speaker
So, dude, when we go up north, my phone doesn't have a signal. Right. But I'll be reading at night. I always read at night. But I make sure to read last. So I'll play Solitaire first.
00:33:45
Speaker
Nice. So it's not the last thing that's happening with my eyeballs. so And, dude, I get so into it. So into it. I love that fucking game. You were in Mahjong. Yeah. Yeah, Mahjong was great.
00:33:56
Speaker
Yeah. What were saying, Oh, what was the fastest game you ever completed? Oh, i was 106 moves in two minutes. and Oh, nice. That's pretty good. Yeah, but nothing ever comes that close. But it was I could probably queue it up.
00:34:12
Speaker
Your solitaire stats. ah Tyler, you play Mahjong? No, no, that was a long time ago. That was like on a fucking Commodore. Ah, Mahjong. okay. It was fun, but I don't... Are you thinking like the sort of Chinese Domino's game?
00:34:28
Speaker
Yeah, but like it was on a computer. yeah Yeah. Oh, so yeah, that was funny. i thought it was called Taipei. What the fuck was that game? Do you remember that? It was like one of the free games that came built in with the Windows. Yeah.
00:34:41
Speaker
I pay. I'm just making things. Yeah. I might be making things up. um but Fascinating podcast. Let's keep it moving. ah Wait, hold on. If ah you guys had to play a board game with your family, what would you play?
00:34:56
Speaker
ah board game. We play a lot of card games together. ah um I'll throw that in. Yeah. Okay. so Oh, dude. Sleeping Queens. This card game is so fun. It's um you can play it with a regular card deck.
00:35:09
Speaker
No, it comes with its own. God damn. No, one of those games. Proprietary gate. Or Uno. We play a shitload of Uno. Uno's great. What about you, Tyler? um Monopoly.
00:35:22
Speaker
Really? Whoa. Will Nash play that with you? That's a dedication. Oh, okay. Or you have to dedicate a lot of time to that. yeah um We haven't tried for a while, but yeah, Monopoly's fun.
00:35:33
Speaker
That'd be a good one. I feel like Nash would be... like Yeah, know probably. He could be on Milo's team or something like that. You can play teams on Monopoly? Yeah, you can have a couple people together. Okay.
00:35:46
Speaker
That could be dangerous. yeah Well, Monopoly already is... Anytime that you're so you're inside, you better be fucking sleeping. You better be outside. yeah no, I mean, like, it's kind of one of those things.
00:35:58
Speaker
I just played a cornhole at a friend's birthday party over the weekend. and's ah That's fair. Do you call it cornhole or do you call it bags? It's cornhole. You call it bags.
00:36:09
Speaker
I've heard people call it bags. That's stupid. People are stupid. They're from Minnesota. yeah you will Go play some bags. Go play some bags. We'll go climb in the dumpster at Food and Fuel and play in some bags.
00:36:22
Speaker
Ew, God. All right. ah So my next point here, freelancing sucks, but making your own hours is great.
00:36:33
Speaker
and mo Unless it's all of the hours. that Well, yeah. This is ah what when you start to realize your business has seasons, right? and Yeah. And you have really, really fucking push hard during one season because you know another season is going to be fucking crickets. Yeah.
00:36:53
Speaker
So, yeah. But I do feel like I oscillate. I'm trying to figure out what my pattern is. i think it's probably somewhere between eight and ten years. where I just get tired of one way of living and want to swing to the other. So we'll go from like, that's fair, just being my own business freelance artists. And then being like, I just need someone to tell me what to do in regular hours that do not extend past 6 PM.
00:37:16
Speaker
And a paycheck. And a paycheck that helps you. Yeah. And benefits. That's, that's always great too. Um, what about you? I mean, Tucker, I know you had a period of freelance.
00:37:27
Speaker
Mm-hmm. but well I mean, all of last year, I was i had a W-2 job and a 1099 job. But i ah what I mean is like no w two Oh, yeah. Right, where it's like all of your, it's cobbled together. so Yeah, I had about a half a year where I was freelance.
00:37:44
Speaker
Okay, on was that mainly like Space 150? Yeah, yeah, at the agency. And that was fucking incredible. It was incredible when you were doing it, but then I think you also forgot to withhold Well, no. So i made ah shit load um a shitload of money. might i mean, like, oh, my God, so much money. But it was $10.99. So I needed to save a third.
00:38:06
Speaker
And I did. But then I didn't work for a month. And then i worked for another month. And then I didn't work for three months. So I only worked like so like half of March, April, May, I worked.
00:38:21
Speaker
And then I had June off. completely. And then I worked July and then I had August, September, October off. So yeah, I only worked and guyate's on the record.
00:38:32
Speaker
ah yeah, I, I don't understand. Like i don't have any recent memory of my existence where I've had more than a few days off. Like I can't even fathom like. so Get it. You'll find out.
00:38:48
Speaker
and Every time I get a few days off, it takes me like probably two days to like realize, to like calm down and relax to the point where I can enjoy something. no And then next thing you know, I'm fucking going back to work. So it's like.
00:39:02
Speaker
So do you think if you, let's say you started the Tyler Garrick family business and you just started machining custom parts for motorheads out of your garage and you got Milo helping you, Tabby's fulfilling orders online. Like what do you think you would actually have the self control to not just be working all the time?
00:39:29
Speaker
Do you think you would give yourself like two weeks off and be like, you know what, we're going to take a fucking vacation? I think I could totally do that. But I think that it would on the, on the daily basis, it would be, there's a, there's a saying with like entrepreneurs, like you're giving, you're working a hundred hours a week just so you don't have to work 40.
00:39:50
Speaker
Yeah. Because your own, like an entrepreneur, your own fucking job, it, you're doing fucking everything. Yeah. And like the buck stops with you. Like if you have to do something, you have to do everything of that job. Then you have to do the books and you have to pay the taxes and you have to fucking do all the fucking paperwork and write the instructions and do you're doing everything. And I'm not saying that having your own company or doing whatever is a bad thing.
00:40:20
Speaker
And eventually it snowballs into a fully functioning business. um But you really, in a lot of cases, it's a fallacy that like, fuck working a nine to five, whatever. I feel like nobody, oh unless you have that miracle thing that just doesn't require effort on your part and sells like crazy. Yeah.
00:40:43
Speaker
you're putting in so many more hours when you could just go to a job. Yeah. Work the job and then check the fuck out. Wash your hands at six o'clock and go home and. Yeah. have people I would say even the people who do have that thing take off and sell much, there's still, they actually have a shit ton more problems because then they're thinking about scalability and like, how do i make sure like the quality is still controlled? Like all that stuff. So that's even that,
00:41:11
Speaker
Even being popular is not like a golden ticket. but Well, yeah, if because Go ahead, Tucker. i was going to say, you your first instinct is to maintain and grow that. like Yeah.
00:41:22
Speaker
It becomes so big that someone else wants a piece of it, then you have to defend it. Right. Oh, God. Defense is a completely different thing than offense. Yeah. Yeah, i feel like if you're going to do that, you, I mean, I do understand why people start family businesses because then it isn't just on one person. It's like, no, this is where our family is all in all this.
00:41:42
Speaker
That kind makes sense to me. Yeah, can see your family. Yeah. Still, if you're working all the time, like the only way going to see them is in the shop or in the field or whatever it is. Yeah. That's why I wonder how like that fucking, I guess I'm really curious how people like dedicated that separation.
00:41:58
Speaker
Like, i like how that actually, how they convince themselves to do that. Because what do you mean? Uh, they if they were able to maintain any sort of work life balance, like if you work with your family, are you able to be like, set up these rules that are just like, we're not going to talk about work yeah not hours. I've worked with um my family quite a bit when we own the Harley Davidson dealership.
00:42:23
Speaker
And yeah, we had like rules, like no talk, no work talk after like eight or something like, okay and that was even in their family also too. like Oh wow. you know, after happy hour, fucking no, no fucking work talk. It's not happy after that. And it would call each other out if they, you know what mean? And that's the thing. Everybody kind has to follow the rule. And that's kind of. That makes sense. I guess I forgot that you guys kind of came out of a, of that situation essentially. Right.
00:42:51
Speaker
Yeah. Like i my mom and stepdad working together. Like. running own business so tyler worked there too and yeah stepdad i think i have a really good uh ability to brother separate work from outside of life stuff are you shooing someone away no he's got flies around his babies yeah fly babies maybe if you filled them with apple cider vinegar instead of your urine Well, I'm sure at this point the urine's become a vinegar of sorts. Oh, that's true.
00:43:25
Speaker
It's probably really nice. Oh, I can actually see the moths and flies on this camera. There's no fucking moths. and I can see the maggots coming out of your microphone. Jesus Christ.
00:43:35
Speaker
Tucker, if you had to start a business with your family, what would that business be? It'd be a real estate business. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. I guess you guys have already been talking about that. Oh, yeah. Kind of scooping up land. would love that. would love that.
00:43:48
Speaker
i but He would have new terrain to like drive his RC cars on. He would be stoked. We walked a property on Saturday and trying to figure out what's going on with that.
00:44:01
Speaker
Nice. yeah That makes sense. yeah trying I really want to do that. I like i get that it's going to be a lot of work, but it would constantly always be changing a little bit.
00:44:13
Speaker
yeah Enough to stay engaged. And then also, like I'm just not... I just don't want to sit at a desk, yeah but I'm not young enough to go like do anything that requires like physicality sort of thing. Like, so I'm kind of like, that seems really stuck for something that can give me a little bit of both.
00:44:35
Speaker
Totally. And I think with your marketing background, you'd actually have a huge leg up on like traditional realtors. Cause I think, I don't know. Yeah. And like, I don't know that a ah key part of that.
00:44:47
Speaker
Um, that job that would set you above the rest. Yeah. And I don't know that like realty specifically is it, but it's more of like, yeah, like land. Yeah. Developing it and figuring out how to make those things happen. And some of the work would be physical and we would do it. And some of it, we would contact the right people to make it happen.
00:45:07
Speaker
But yeah, it would give me a little bit of a balance maybe. Okay. I do know everyone loves developers, just like they love contractors. Oh, and lawyers and auto mechanics and the people at the DMV. Yeah.
00:45:22
Speaker
All right. Well, I think both of you should start your own freelance careers. I believe in both you 110% know that you could totally make it and then some by starting your own business. What do you mean, 100% freelance?
00:45:37
Speaker
Yeah, fully. I feel like if you saved up, like ah kind of like I don know, whatever you might consider a very meager salary to buy you a year, and assuming you don't have any huge expenses up front, where you need to buy a $20,000 CNC machine or something.
00:45:54
Speaker
Right. like I feel like, yeah, you could pretty much create a website and ah social media account and hit the ground running. Right. Yeah.
00:46:05
Speaker
My drunk neighbor came over to bring me some beer, and he's got only one leg, which makes it funnier. And he walks into the garage. He's like, you got a million dollars worth of- he he He stumbled in. He's got a fake leg. like, got a very million dollars worth of machines in here.
00:46:23
Speaker
I've never seen anybody like you. You're a smartest person I know. I'm like, dude, you got fucking one leg in your drunk, dude. This isn't like- That's not one million, it's two million. Just take the compliment, Tyler. I'm sorry. I don't know nobody like you.
00:46:39
Speaker
I'm like sitting on the ground of my garage. It's a shit show soldering wires when he came in. I'm just like. Oh my God. it's been What's happened is that I've worked for a lot of pretty successful people who I feel like just did the, like,
00:46:57
Speaker
they're not talented.
00:47:00
Speaker
And they're just like, they could, they kept their head down and they kept doing it. That coupled with confidence. That's the thing. That's because, because we all have this Midwestern work ethic. Yeah.
00:47:11
Speaker
But I feel like we are severely lacking in like sort of this like boastful confidence. And I've seen so many like, yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm confident, but yeah, yeah, it's, it's a fucking letting people other know that you're confident is a whole other thing. Yeah.
00:47:27
Speaker
Well, projecting. That's like a weird, that's a weird thing. I can't, yeah it it feels icky. It does. And that's why we don't do it. And that's why we are not successful. Exactly. That's exactly the point. Literally. If we had a fucking conference call every morning, that would be what we should say to each other. Maybe we should start this conference call. We have everything that we need to be successful except for this success. And the only missing part is the fact that we don't show people what we're good at.
00:48:00
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. I fully agree. Fully agree. I found my special purpose.
00:48:09
Speaker
the Classic Steve Martin the jerk reference. Oh, thanks. right I do want public access TV to come back. Yeah, because you want to be a part of it, and I would i support both of those things.
00:48:20
Speaker
Well, here's the thing. Public access TV really doesn't make sense in this day and age, because you can publish anything. You can go live on YouTube, Instagram, I imagine TikTok. like There's so many channels where you can Yeah. ah Go live and like reach a much wider audience than ah public access can ever do. Oh, yeah.
00:48:40
Speaker
But what I feel like public access had was they had camera people. They had lights in a physical fucking studio. Yeah. And I feel like there should be... kind of like how we have a library still to go check out books. And that seems out of motive. Like a new part of the library needs to be like a video photo studio where people can check it out and they can do their Tik TOK or their sports show or whatever they want. But like having a actual physical studio that is part of the community.
00:49:12
Speaker
Like I want that. Do they not? Will you vote for me? Yeah, we have one of those in Northeast. Yeah. Yeah. What's it called? Oh, it's a channel six. What's the thing called?
00:49:25
Speaker
Oh, like a actual public access television. Yeah. Studio. Nice. There is something, to I mean, you're, you're bringing up a fact that applies to a lot of like art and related things. It's like going to a space that is for something specifically. Yeah.
00:49:43
Speaker
Helps you like get in a moment to do something special. Yeah. It also makes you realize how hard it is. Yeah, yeah. But but like... like Being in, I've been in bands my entire life and like practicing at your, in your fucking basements a lot different than practicing in a fucking practice space that you can pay for. like Right. $200 an hour.
00:50:05
Speaker
Well, well, that's insane, but um we normally pay that monthly, but yeah, it's like. Or are you still like soup cans? exactly um No, but it's like gives a purpose and it like makes it real.
00:50:21
Speaker
Yeah. Which now is weird because we could all theoretically make a studio in our basement and record but full length feature films on a fucking iPhone. Like, it's true.
00:50:31
Speaker
Going somewhere. really to do it. but Matters. Yeah. There's some magic in the old process of. Of the past. well would the Would the library seem like the most logical place to build that?
00:50:44
Speaker
Or should it be somewhere else? Should it the police station? Well, I feel like a performing art center. Performing art center.
00:50:56
Speaker
Right? That makes sense. Yeah, like the Guthrie could have. like Oh, yeah. but That would be awesome, actually. I do miss like a state, like a... Like we had like video production or something like that. And there was lights and like a stage and like a desk and like.
00:51:11
Speaker
to What fancy school did you go to? i think maybe there was just a desk in a corner, but it was lights. Our video production, like in eighth grade when it was part of industrial tech.
00:51:24
Speaker
Does you remember this Tucker? Hmm. I don't know. You haven't said it yet. There were modules in industrial tech. Yeah. You spend like two weeks doing one thing. And the video productions module was literally just the shittiest VHS camcorder on the shittiest tripod. Oh my God. Pointing at a white wall.
00:51:42
Speaker
I don't know if I remember that. That was your video productions class? Well, no, that was in, he's saying middle school. Oh, no, I'm high school. Yeah. High school. Yeah. Mr. High school. Proper. Yeah. yeah yeah Yeah. Oh yeah. I mean, that was, that was my identity. It was that class.
00:51:57
Speaker
that shit was the shit that going to the school early every single day because we were trying so hard to make this show so funny yeah like who does that like going to get props all the time and like mean yeah that was magic holy shit gonna bring it back all right we gotta keep going all right okay two more points left here manners
00:52:22
Speaker
Yay or na yeah ah which Which ones should we keep and which ones do you think we just need to let go of? i Wow. well I think we need to keep not talking over people That's a great just lesson for this podcast. Well, no, this is different. I'm very guilty of it.
00:52:42
Speaker
Same. But I think that's important out in the world, like just letting people finish. And I am saying this because I myself need to work on that.
00:52:54
Speaker
But it also drives me fucking nuts when my kid does it. And he'll do it over both Daniel and I. He'll talk over us. Oh, we're like, we're talking in the same, in the way that like the three of us right now are talking. So you would wait until ah extremely long pause happened and some sort of body language tells you that I'm done.
00:53:12
Speaker
and this motherfucker will just would love him. He's a child. He should. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That should be his thing. And then when he gets older, he can find the you right perfect cadence in which to in interact. But like children come last.
00:53:26
Speaker
Yeah. and I mean, just wait. I mean, like, i i remember even growing up, like yeah like, you let's say that you're at work and you walk up to somebody like your your boss and they're talking to somebody.
00:53:38
Speaker
You like walk up and you wait. You don't like or you fucking go do something else. You don't just interject into their conversation. But if I'm hanging out bunch people, fuck you. I don't care what you're talking about. I'm to like, I mean, like it just. Yeah, I'm in place. There's a time and place.
00:53:54
Speaker
um Pushing in your chair. Oh, after you're done. Oh my God. Just push it the fuck in. Yeah. Push it the fuck in. Dude. 100% agree. All right. Thank you. People with loud phones watching movies at restaurants.
00:54:09
Speaker
but Just turn the goddamn ringer off. Turn it off. No, no. I'm talking about people watching like the basketball game at a restaurant on their phone. Super loud. That's it. That's fucked.
00:54:20
Speaker
Like yeah you wouldn't want me watching fucking movies. porn or like a Danzig video super loud next to you. Well, you should. Danzig porn. Danzig porn. I mean, he makes it. you But I also don't want to do that either. Like, I don't want to confront people, but like...
00:54:36
Speaker
fuck out that's the problem these these people who have the confidence to just do this without thinking about the entrepreneurs making millions they are they really are and they need one of us to be like what the fuck are you doing just slap that fucking phone into their shitty cheese sticks okay so is this well so speaking of food like bringing on fast food onto an airplane I mean, yeah. but Yeah, it's like a far city.
00:55:04
Speaker
Yeah. Before and after. It is probably 10% of the cost of any food on the actual airplane. So. Wait, what? 10% of the cost? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's way cheaper to buy food at one of the stores in the airport, which is already double price of what a regular person would do. Get yogurt cup.
00:55:26
Speaker
You're going a fucking Big Mac in there? It smells like someone took a shit in a dumpster and lit on fire. that's gross, too. I don't mind that, actually. i there was someone There was someone eating fucking cob of corn on the subway. On the fucking subway in New York when I live there. Just going at it. Another person clipping their fucking toes on the subway. I've seen of the worst things. sat next to that in TV. ah Not even with the clipper.
00:55:56
Speaker
I sat next to in a... in a flight with someone to Philly and they were chewing the calluses off their fingers and like doing that with the skin, big pile of skin between their feet.
00:56:08
Speaker
I sat next to the whole fucking flight from l la to Philly. Wow, and Tyler, you've also experienced this. I've seen people chew on their calluses in front of me. Eat their feet.
00:56:19
Speaker
Wow. In a public space. Oh, not on their foot. This is their hand. Not their foot, their hand. Oh, their hand. still, you're an adult. You're on plane with 400 other people doing this shit. You just touched him. One million other people's disgusting shit. just gave yourself not like a germaphobe, but.
00:56:34
Speaker
You have AIDS. Get the fuck out. With COVID. So. COVID AIDS. So, like, we are lucky that we don't wear fucking, like, pantaloons and that women don't have to wear, like, five layers of clothing. So, i understand that, like, clothing changes over time.
00:56:51
Speaker
Yes. I don't want to that grumpy dick. But. Fuck people that wear sweatpants out in public. Dude, I'm gonna go on the record and say this is unacceptable. ah In fact, Tyler, I agree with you. Crocs, sweatpants, in the dumbest, baggiest shirt. like Sorry, it's a whole brand of, or a style called athleisure.
00:57:12
Speaker
that's That's what it is. And it is is a growing duy billion dollar industry. How can you look fit and lazy as fuck at the same time? You don't look fit. You're wearing super fucking baggy. Oh, but it looks like you might be going to the gym. So you're totally fit.
00:57:33
Speaker
Yeah. Most people are overweight. so Ill fitting. I'm not going anywhere. Yeah. um never i I think I might be done holding doors for people.
00:57:43
Speaker
Really? I think just kind of over. That's what I like. a Time and place. Time and place. Most people who are walking into a business are looking at their fucking phone. So they're not even aware that someone might be holding the door open for them.
00:57:57
Speaker
So if you're not engaged with what's happening around you, I'm not engaged with you. I'm just going to pretend you don't exist. If the person is two feet behind you, you're just going to sneak in and like make sure the door closes? they're on their phone...
00:58:10
Speaker
yeah I don't fucking care. Yeah. Yeah. but If they're on their phone walking into a store, I want to see them walk into a piece of glass. So they actually pay attention to where they are. ah Holy shit. um To me, it's proximity.
00:58:24
Speaker
I'm not going to wait for somebody. Yeah. Like fucking 10 feet. and Two feet away or something. Does that proximity change based on the gender of the person? Not at all.
00:58:34
Speaker
don't give a shit. Yeah. Matter fact, proximity, it's just as easy for me to hold the door for one fucking second or open it more. Like, i don't give a shit. Huh.
00:58:46
Speaker
I mean, I'll swing it wide open, but I'm going to stand there. If you're like three feet behind me and I know you're coming behind me, like, hold for second. You can still download Netscape. That's great.
00:58:57
Speaker
That's cool. Thanks for that. Tucker keeps going back to the previous points on my list, just double checking things. I just want to make sure. our fact checker. know Does it run on Windows 11?
00:59:09
Speaker
And can you still edit the logo to say Nutscrape? I bet you we can figure that out. Oh, I remember Mosaic. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's what that came from then, yeah. right. I still, I like to say hi to people on the sidewalk.
00:59:25
Speaker
Yeah, same. When I'm passing. You don't know. That I don't know. Oh, yeah. Howdy. How's going? just Just a greeting. Absolutely. An acknowledgement that another person exists. Yeah.
00:59:36
Speaker
If I say that, I expect you to respond. with See, I make no, I don't expect anything. One of them frothing at the mouth asking for water. yeah Except for that guy. Really? Hey, that's what you should have done. Not even like pretends to probably be like, how's it going? And then close the door. Walk back Holy shit.
00:59:53
Speaker
Okay. So one, I was living in Florida. but It's one night. ah A bunch of the cops were using flashlights and were using my water. And I look outside, I open the door. I'm like, hey, what's going on? They're like, we're using your water. Go inside.
01:00:08
Speaker
And I'm like, What? Like somebody got murdered a house down and shot right in the front yard. And um the fucking, the next day, the fucking news lady came with the fucking camera on to ask me questions. like, get the fuck out. Like, nope, nope, nope. Like, and that's my story.
01:00:30
Speaker
Wow. That's a great story. So wait, did the cops murder someone with your water? No. Waterboarded him. No, they ah the guy down the street was like a drug dealer, like a really old man, but he sold drugs or something. and Old drugs? He sold old drugs.
01:00:46
Speaker
Old drugs. No, and then um somebody tried to rob him and he shot them, one in his house and one out in the front yard. And, uh, and then, uh, two people shot two people. Yeah. Yeah. And the, the cops were doing the old school, like fill a bag full of plaster and get shoe prints shit.
01:01:08
Speaker
I kid you not. And, uh, they were using water. Yeah. Whoa. Oh, that's funny. I just pouring Coca-Cola. Yeah. It's like an Inspector Gadget episode.
01:01:21
Speaker
Holy shit. That's good. I also think ah one manner that we should keep is ah telling people when you're going to be late and letting them know the approximate time they might be there. Yeah, I think that should exist. That one's for you, Tyler.
01:01:36
Speaker
Get the fuck out. ah All right, last point. Last point on the last episode of this season. Whoa. What is your last meal? Damn. Damn. And I mean this in two ways.
01:01:48
Speaker
What is the most recent meal you have eaten? And what is the last meal you want to eat before you depart this mortal coil? Assuming you could just still, you don't have to worry about heartburn or fucking heartbate.
01:02:03
Speaker
You don't have a butthole or whatever. 70 years old. um Wow. All right. first First one's easy. What's the last meal you've eaten? a terrible cheeseburger and fries out of ah out of a food truck couple of hours ago. Oh my God, out of a food truck?
01:02:18
Speaker
Oh, not like a broach coach. Yeah, no, it was at a brewery just now. like People don't remember like broach coach food truck things. um Oh God, yeah, those are bad.
01:02:30
Speaker
um I don't remember last time I ate. It was dinner yesterday. I'm trying to think what that was. dinner yesterday you haven't eaten tonight dude i worked all fucking day i went in the garage i'm trying to get this shit done which is fucking stupid yeah you haven't eaten itt at all today is how does your head not splitting what how's my head not splitting dude i'm not sure that that adds up ah my head hurts when i don't eat um my god i get headaches i just get low blood sugar yeah well that too get low blood sugar
01:03:06
Speaker
I don't eat, yeah. If you're not giving your body sugar and calories. Holy fuck. All right. So what it? It's called fasting. Fuck you guys. Whatever. Okay. Well, the last time you ate two weeks ago, what was it? Life fast. Bugs. fuck was that?
01:03:23
Speaker
um
01:03:26
Speaker
Roast beef mashed potatoes. There you go. All right. Is that a one dish? Roast beef and mashed potatoes. Oh, so not a sandwich. I think my last meal that I would want would be probably bar la grasa.
01:03:42
Speaker
um Huh. Okay. Eggs and lobster. and that's Oh, yeah. that's Just that? Yeah, I think I'm good. Wow. Keeping it simple.
01:03:53
Speaker
That Miller Lite. Oh, and a Miller Lite. You should see the look on those fuckers' faces when I order a Miller Lite. ah Just disappointment. I'm like, yeah fuck you, I'm paying you. Fuck you.
01:04:04
Speaker
Go get it. They have it. Yep. Right? They carry it. Yep. They know God made a perfect mistake and he called it Miller Lite. What about you, Tucker? What's your last meal ever?
01:04:22
Speaker
i it to I'm torn. and But they're related. Either the jerk chicken roti at Harry Sings.
01:04:35
Speaker
Oh, you love Harry Sings. Or and actual full jerk chicken that I got at this weird little chicken stand in the middle of the night in Grand Cayman. Where like they'd ask you, like what do you want? And they're like, chicken. And it's like, there's only chicken.
01:04:51
Speaker
Yeah. And then like hot sauce, bread. And you would just get this like, they'd have loaves of bread, like a couple of feet tall. And it'd just be like sliced Wonder Bread without branding. And they would just go, wouldn't even look. They'd just grab a fistful.
01:05:05
Speaker
Sometimes you get three, sometimes you get five pieces because they're not even looking. They'll put your chicken. Yeah. Well, they'd get you your little chicken. It's all jerk chicken. And they just cleaver that motherfucker. So you'd have to go sifting for bones.
01:05:18
Speaker
And then they would put that on top of your bread. And then they're like, sauce. And like, of course, you said, yeah. And you just did hose it all down. And then you get either like a Pepsi or a water.
01:05:30
Speaker
And i saw el I saw Elvis there with like seven or eight feral dogs, and he was playing his own music in a blue Cadillac.
Surreal Conversations and Food Fantasies
01:05:38
Speaker
It was fucking weird. You see he's going to say some tofu shit.
01:05:42
Speaker
No, i'm I'm not even going to address that. Just like Tucker shouldn't have asked any questions to the crazy guy at his door. I'm not going to bring up Elvis in my response here.
01:05:54
Speaker
It was a weird time. Yeah. um i I kind of want like a buffet. Ooh. Just like a... Oh, that's a fucking bogus answer. I pick proportions. I want everything. I do kind of want a little bit. I want a little bit of banana pudding.
01:06:09
Speaker
Give me that green jello. I want ah bite off a Snickers bar. I want... So far, this is like a teenager's snack. Yeah, seriously, I want like fucking dig the salad at Olive Garden. Oh yeah.
01:06:23
Speaker
I also want like a full like Italian charcuterie plate. Oh yeah. With an Aperol spritz. Oh yeah. And then like some classic snacks. I want fucking chili cheese Fritos.
01:06:36
Speaker
I had some tonight. want chicken guac. Oh yeah, had some of those I a shot of Fireball. I want to experience all my favorites. Oh my god. Luckily you're gonna die after this. Exactly. There's like no regret. I feel sorry for the fucking person gonna process your body, man. Exactly. they're like, oh, there's no limits? Download everything.
01:06:58
Speaker
i'm not i think I would have soft serve of ice cream in there. No matter what I ate, there'd be soft serve ice cream at that end. Dairy Queen for
Conclusion and Future Plans
01:07:07
Speaker
me. like can Hot fudge sundae.
01:07:11
Speaker
Ooh. o We are hungry and we are at the end of the season. So I don't know what's up next, folks. I'm going to try and create like a doodle poll or something like that and figure out what our next season is going to be.
01:07:27
Speaker
Ten favorite ways to make a Tortugas party pizza. I haven't had of those in here. Do they still make them? Probably. Okay. Well, if they do, it might be on the next season. We'll find out. So until then, bye. Later.