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The Kill Power Hour #072 - Tyler's 4th List
46 Plays11 months ago
Tyler admits he's tapped out but rallied to provide us with his fourth and final list. Tyler's topics take us from overpriced beers to underwhelming gifts. Tucker does a quick TED-talk on coffee, we find out that Tyler has no free time nor way of keeping track of it, and my favorite discovery is that all of us sleep with our arms folded across our chest, ala "vamipire style". We're bringing back pre-gaming, baby--stash those beers in your coat!
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Kill Power Hour'
00:00:05
Speaker
welcome to the kill power hour A podcast where three friends spend the better part of an hour arguing and explaining why beer is too expensive and we don't even have enough time to drink it. Each week we go through a list and this week we'll be discussing Tyler's fourth and final list, which is, like my golf score, subpar as usual.
Tyler's Final List and Banter
00:00:23
Speaker
I'm your host Eric and as always I'm joined by my best friend Tucker. We're off on a fire episode. And my best friend's wheeled rotter. I made it. So this is your final list. You're you're ending this season. got nothing else to say, man. like i yeah This is a great list.
00:00:39
Speaker
I don't know. Quit while you're ahead. right There you go. It's the gambler's motto. My list is ah is just like, why are things changing? And pizza toppings? and just like no No, that's my list, dude. Back up off my list. Yeah, yeah. but ran out of things to say.
00:00:59
Speaker
Well, that that kind of makes sense. I feel like sometimes you just we just need to live our lives and then we can revisit the topic of this season and maybe knock out you know another 9 to 12 episodes.
00:01:09
Speaker
Okay.
Planning Next Season
00:01:10
Speaker
Right? That does mean, Tyler, we have to figure out what the fuck next season is going to be. I got some plans. I got some ideas. um We'll just have to flesh out what we want to do. Sounds good.
00:01:22
Speaker
So who will be the last person of this season? That will be me. Okay. So it goes me and then you. Yep. Okay. I got one more in me. I don't know. Oh, I'm kidding. Okay. Just so we don't end on EC. Keep us from ending on EC. All right. all right.
00:01:38
Speaker
All right, Tyler. Take us through this.
Coffee Making Debate
00:01:41
Speaker
um So I have this this thing in the morning. I want some coffee and I just don't want to make a whole fucking pot of coffee because the only one that drinks it.
00:01:49
Speaker
Really? So it's like fucking really like. Nash isn't just chucking coffee. My fucking eight year old just gets up in the morning smoking cigarettes, drinking waters. and He's got a dread stash.
00:02:01
Speaker
you you Um, no, man, I had a Keurig at one point and it was gross. Fuck that thing. That thing should be thrown in the trash. I agree. Fuck that thing. But it was pretty fucking nice to just like hit a button and have like a cup of coffee. Sure.
00:02:15
Speaker
The bummer is is like every 15, it didn't work. And just like spit coffee grounds into my cup. Uh, and then also every one of them you put into the fucking landfill.
00:02:26
Speaker
Um, The whole thing is fucked. It's just a terrible, terrible idea. So, you know, I'm um back in the position where i I need like kind of quick coffee in the morning and I'm not going to, I don't want to make a whole pot.
00:02:41
Speaker
yeah The whole fucking time, this sounds probably dumb to some people, but every night I don't want to clean out the fucking grounds out of an entire coffee pot, make coffee and then use fucking filter and set it all up. And then in the morning, like, fuck this, this is already explaining. It's already making me tired. So so you're lazy too. Why don't you just go to Starbucks or McDonald's? I dislike Starbucks and I have been going to the two local coffee shops near my house. All right.
00:03:08
Speaker
Herein lies. The problem is that I only have about eight minutes to do this. Yep. And there's a train that every Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, arrives at the exact time I'm driving away from there. So if I can go like 70 miles an hour, I can go beat the train.
00:03:26
Speaker
Oh shit. Otherwise I'm stuck behind the train and then I'm late. So you know thought about waking up earlier. i can't because I have to put Nash on the bus in the morning. So that's the real thing.
00:03:38
Speaker
Okay, so I've got this. I'll figure I have so many the options. All right. Okay. Let's hear it, Tucker. All right. Dude, you have the whole world at your fingertips. There are so many. I take coffee like really seriously, but not like ah the serious is pizza not like snobby seriously where I'm taking like, ah I'm not like weighing my beans and stuff. Like I think that's the definitive thing where you're like, you've, you've,
00:04:05
Speaker
pla You've like gone to the next plateau of coffee insanity. But I think I'm with i'm with you. like A really good cup of coffee is crucial and you deserve it. And it's all about those routines. So, dude, single cup.
00:04:19
Speaker
You just need a fucking little single pour over. It's the thing that sits on a mug. You put a little filter. You put your beans in there. You just pour hot water. so you don't even need a goddamn machine. That would be like the easiest and the highest quality.
00:04:31
Speaker
Does it take seven minutes for me to make a cup? If you've got an electric kettle, you can boil water in two, three, four minutes and you just put it over. It's it's no tech.
00:04:43
Speaker
It's the no tech thing. and if And this is the splurge. because you're not buying well this Because you're not buying like a really baller coffee maker, which I have a recommendation for that too. Okay. um if Because you're not doing that, buy...
00:04:57
Speaker
a burr grinder, not one of those Cuisinart things that has just a blade. Because with those, I learned from some barista nerds, which this was ah this was the nerdy thing that helped.
00:05:09
Speaker
You get super small pieces of coffee, medium pieces, huge pieces, and every single one of those sizes brews at a different pace. That's a great mix.
00:05:19
Speaker
No, it's terrible. It's perfect for my French press. Well, But no, it's not, though. You need to get a burr grinder that you can set to either big, medium, small, extra small. Here's the thing. don't because I like the coffee I make.
00:05:36
Speaker
It tastes great. This brings up a good point. i like The Miller Lights of coffee. I buy Dunkin' Donut beans. I grind it in this yeah thing that Tucker's fucking talking trash about, which is great.
00:05:49
Speaker
You can also use that same device to grind up your mushrooms and make a delicious mushroom tea. yeah And then I put it in a French press and I make enough coffee for what I want to drink in the morning.
00:06:00
Speaker
It's the French press is another option. So it's ready in five minutes. Swicks quick. Oh, I can't. Never mind. I would say what? but um So, yeah yeah, I'm a fucking anti coffee snob. I want like the most mellow fucking coffee.
00:06:18
Speaker
It needs to taste like car dealership coffee, which apparently now when you go to car dealerships, there's a goddamn Keurig there. Oh, yeah. old car dealership coffee was like super fucking mellow. was like diner coffee. Yeah, diner. That's exactly what want. So all you need to do is just make a single pot of coffee
Predicting Deaths Humorously
00:06:36
Speaker
and then drink it for three days. Just it always.
00:06:40
Speaker
The key is old coffee. Exactly. I think you're right. I think you're aging process. Yeah. Yeah. Another option would be just an AeroPress, which is essentially like a tiny French press, single cup.
00:06:52
Speaker
Again, no tech. You're pushing. Yeah. Push it. I just really wish they figured out how to do the pods that were biodegradable. like So, yeah.
00:07:03
Speaker
Here's the thing. My mom, she bought me an alley, like a Keurig one year. And I told her, i was like, I don't like these things because of the fucking trash that it produces. yeah So then she bought me a little thing, which is like a mini sieve, a reusable thing that I put in this.
00:07:19
Speaker
It never fucking worked properly. It produced ah sandy coffee at best. And yeah. Like beach sand? Yeah. It just fucking magically appears. Oh, beach sand. No, I get like gritty grounds. and Yeah, and or they clog up or you're still fucking cleaning out this little thing of coffee grounds every day.
00:07:45
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know what to say. Just buy bulk coffee. Yeah. Or maybe instant coffee. Maybe fucking. There's some, there's and some companies that are making, trying to make some nicer instant coffee for sure. Does it have caffeine in it or is it? Yeah.
00:07:58
Speaker
Well, they just, what do they do? They take the coffee and they. fuello I've used that before. It's fine. Is that the, it's freeze dried. Yep. And it just disintegrates in your. Yeah. yeah You just put it in hot water.
00:08:10
Speaker
And then this is a little bit like, I don't even know. It's just different. Um, There's a brand here Minnesota, which means they're happening everywhere, but I discovered it with
Family Traits and Sleep Habits
00:08:20
Speaker
this local brand.
00:08:21
Speaker
car well they are local fucking eat that coffee it tastes no it is out it's it's ass water it's burnt ass water but what what i'm saying though is the there's coffee tea bags and then you don't get any grounds or anything because everything's in this super fine tea bags and it's really fucking rad for just like i need a cup with no like pull the bag out throw it away yeah I will send you links to all this shit, Tyler, for your whole- So so I started like looking on the internet about this, and when I started like looking up like nice, I like literally Googled expensive coffee makers or nice coffee makers. Yeah.
00:09:02
Speaker
Everything has a goddamn fucking touchscreen on it, and it's completely covered in plastic shit. I've had a dozen- An espresso machine, then. Well, I've had a bunch of like medium quality to better quality- like plastic ass fucking coffee makers they last like two years before something stupid breaks or the display goes fucking blank and it's like I need like I don't want to spend a thousand dollars on a coffee maker but yeah if I could spend a thousand dollars on a metal coffee maker with fucking dials and like
00:09:37
Speaker
But you can't check your email. Well, no. All I wanted to do is make coffee at a specific time or or like you press the button and then it turns off after a while. i don't fucking know. Like, I don't had fucking... it i Yeah. i hear For me, it would be the programmable coffee maker.
00:09:56
Speaker
ah I would be into that. Like where I could wake up and have coffee ready. I have. I bought a Ninja coffee maker and it was actually nice for about a year. But still in lies the problem every night I have to like...
00:10:07
Speaker
Do the fucking deed. Maybe I just need to stop being up. I got, so we're talking about emptying a thing into the garbage or rinsing in the sink and putting it back in. I know. Are you that short on time? Well, we're going to have bust over to like. I got about 18 hours a day booked every day. It's fucking dumb right now.
00:10:23
Speaker
Dude, I'm telling you, there's a coffee maker that you can do. you can set your temperature, your brew time. It's insulated. It doesn't fucking break. Yes, there's a tiny screen, but it's not a touch screen. There's a good old-fashioned dial with two buttons. What a coffee? It's Breville.
00:10:42
Speaker
All right. I got for it. It's the um Precision. No, man, this it's the shit. I got it for Christmas seven years ago, and it's um it makes coffee the best today as it did seven years ago. Kill Power Hour is brought to you by Breville.
00:10:59
Speaker
Breville, Breville, Breville, Breville. This thing is the shit. You can make up to 12 cups. You can do cold press overnight. I think we're looking at a minimum cup that Tyler's interested in. You could do you could do a one cup with this too if you want. it's One to 12. The options is they' it's bonkers.
00:11:18
Speaker
Also, I went to the coffee i went so went to the local coffee shop around me and Tucker. and then there's How much are they charging for a cup of coffee? Oh, like $17, I'm sure. No, it was That's fucked up. It was $5 something with a tip.
00:11:30
Speaker
It's a dollar tip. So just black coffee. For drip coffee. With room for cream. Wow. So year that's even less than a regular drip coffee. Which is fucking ridiculous. Dude, um that sucks. There needs to be a law that ties – the price of a regular cup of coffee cannot be more expensive than the bus fare in the city.
00:11:50
Speaker
Like they they have to be insane. Or a gallon of gasoline. Or that too. I thought that a cup of – a large cup of of just plain ass coffee in a paper cup should be about $3. Yeah. Yeah.
00:12:02
Speaker
yeah Dude, we are old. We're talking about the cost of a cup coffee right now. then i made And then then I tip them $1, which is a third of the price. So, i mean, the fucking, I mean, this is.
00:12:15
Speaker
Did you do it in quarters that you put in your mouth and bit to see if they're real first and hand them over to it? In my day. Here's a shilling. in my day, women couldn't vote and they smiled more.
00:12:26
Speaker
but but Maybe they smiled more because they couldn't vote. ah but All right, we need to go. We're all like 15 minutes on coffee here. I love this. So this is a passionate speak here. Yeah.
00:12:39
Speaker
Oh, so I think about this all the time, like predicting my death, but abruptly changing topics. Okay. Let's roll the dice here and we'll come back to this in maybe tomorrow, or maybe we'll come back to this in 20 years and see who predicted their death the closest. Oh, wow. Next season, we're going to be joined by someone new. One of us will be gone. You're like, well, they got it right. so we're going to, in this episode, we're going to revisit episode 22 of season blah, blah, blah.
00:13:08
Speaker
Holy shit. So have you, is this, you said this is something you do all the time is you're always re- It like crosses my mind. How you think gonna die? Nap. Nap? Yeah. Wait, is this wish? then die nap?
00:13:19
Speaker
No, I think I'm gonna die in my sleep. Yeah, I'm gonna die in a nap. Wow, like father like son sort of situation? And like grandfather. I mean, later on we're gonna learn, you ain't got no fucking time for napping, so that ain't gonna happen. Well, that's fucking
00:13:34
Speaker
too good uh our grandfather died in his sleep really dad died in his sleep i guess really my dad does going to sleep run in your family no it stopped with us um no uh our dad when he would sleep he would sleep at like a fucking vampire oh i sleep yeah same yeah really it's bad fucking so like all right
00:14:01
Speaker
I've had I've had like i did not put me right into the coffin. I learned a lot of things doing this podcast. I think that's my favorite so far as we all fucking sleep like the Undertaker.
Managing Busy Schedules
00:14:13
Speaker
I've had girlfriends like like the first awkward conversation we've ever had in our relationship was like.
00:14:22
Speaker
So yesterday, you were laying on the bed and your arms were crossed like a fucking vampire, but your eyes were open, but you weren't responding what I was saying. Sleeping with my eyes open is my specialty. you yeah Really? Both of you guys sleep with your eyes open? Not like wide open, like fucking vampire. Oh, no, for me, it's... I could be asleep right now, you wouldn't even know. Jesus Christ.
00:14:46
Speaker
It's bad. Or good, depending on how dark you want to be. Bad habit of sleep podcasting. Holy shit. It's super bad. I once fell asleep during a face-to-face concert while watching it.
00:15:00
Speaker
I fell asleep on my motorcycle riding my motorcycle from Atlanta to Albany, Georgia at like 4 o'clock in the morning. At least your eyes were still on the road. Yeah.
00:15:11
Speaker
Holy fuck. i predict. E.C., you predict. Oh, for me, it'd be like cancer, most likely, or a stroke. Yeah, mean, God it. feel like one of those two things is going to take me out. What's the other one?
00:15:25
Speaker
A stroke. I feel like there's things that will set me into fits of rage, and one day it's just a fucking vessel in my that's going to pop, and I'll just topple over like a bowling pin. God damn But won't die, and then we'll get to fuck with you. for Yeah, because your left side will just be droopy.
00:15:41
Speaker
and I won't be able to fucking speak. And they were like, yeah, I think Eric wants to go to Valley Fair again. just yeah More cream corn and we just smear it all over your face? Yes. Just give me and give me like 60 things cotton candy and set me next to a hornet's nest.
00:15:59
Speaker
Yes. And then the time that you really die is from hornet bites. Yes, exactly. Stings. Oh God. So I'm going to say, that should be a candy. It does. It sounds exactly like candy.
00:16:12
Speaker
I'm going to say 59.
00:16:15
Speaker
When I'm taking a nap, Tyler really thinks he's going to die in 20 years. Tyler. That's so early. I think I'm going to break 60, maybe 64. Let's talk her. What's your premonition?
00:16:29
Speaker
Oh God. Um, Everybody fucking dies. yeah Sad, but true. Yeah, they do. It's not something you have to fucking stress out about.
00:16:40
Speaker
You know, i lately, i mostly just think of everyone else dying around me. I don't really think of myself dying. i hope that get to and we get to an age where assisted suicide is fully legal and we can just plan it like a going away party.
00:16:55
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Wouldn't that be like humane? I think, well, if I was in a tough situation, like, let's say a podcast I couldn't get out of, like, then, yeah, you know, uh, no, no, it just for real. Like if I had like terminal fucking cancer, my life is just painful. Hell.
00:17:14
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely, man. I would love to be surrounded by people. I love, he eat some, fuck you know, cake that says, uh, uh, happiness is not dating. time Happiness is not fucking alive. oh God.
00:17:26
Speaker
Um, you know, and then, you know, say goodbye, you know, but, uh, Yeah, I agree with EC on that one. I mean, I would, of course, I would love to just go out in my sleep because that's like, yeah you don't know what's coming and it's, you're asleep, right? So that's like the most chill vibe. But do I think that I'm going to be so lucky?
00:17:49
Speaker
But yeah if you think about when people die in their sleep, yeah how many times have you woken up because of like a pain or something? So I have i have a feeling that these people had died in their sleep. Oh, had a fucking heart attack.
00:18:00
Speaker
yeah Woke up like, they're like, fuck, what the fuck? is Yeah. They don't just peacefully slip, like slip into existence, you know, like middle of a dream that keeps going as their body shuts down and everything just fades out. Nope.
00:18:18
Speaker
Yeah. They wake up and like fucking choking or whatever. I would love to die in a hilarious death. like that Really? would That would be my dream. Yeah, just something that just is, like, it's a story people just talk about.
00:18:31
Speaker
Wouldn't that be a fun way to go? I hope I guess the what I will say that I hope it's not like me chopping down a tree and it falls on me. Something that would be. That's exactly. That's the highest percentage of you dying is is in the next couple years if you keep doing that shit. Yeah. I'm a little worried about that sometimes. Someone has watched you chop down few trees.
00:18:54
Speaker
I'm surprised to be on podcast. worried about the They're only getting bigger. I'm not worried about the trees. I'm just worried about you on a fucking ladder, man. Yeah. Stop doing that shit. Yeah. The ladder, that's, I think about that a lot after falling off of one last fall. pushing you around in a fucking wheelchair.
00:19:11
Speaker
Ugh. Ain't happening. They have motorized ones now, Tyler. What, ladders? Wheelchairs. I'm joking. Okay. You could probably get really cool one. Dude, new product, wheelchair learners. Tucker's going to come back in three years and lecture us on the coolest wheelchairs. Oh, my God.
00:19:30
Speaker
Holy shit. All right. um My next one is ah learning to keep people at a distance. Is this why you're always late? Arms length is what I'm talking about. To this podcast?
00:19:41
Speaker
It's okay. I mean, I never had a close relationship with my dad either, so. come Um, no, just like it, as I get older, i I, I can pick out people that and I typically, when I meet somebody, i want to be their friend. Like I want to be enthusiastic and I want to like, whatever, but then you learn their poison.
00:20:03
Speaker
Oh my. god um Yeah, i've I've learned that it's it's almost better to keep them at a distance, especially at first, and just see if if it's actually worth it. I mean, do you guys have more room for more friends at this point in your life?
00:20:17
Speaker
No, if I can make a new friend, I've got to kick one off the roster. That's what I'm saying, man. Yeah, I feel i do feel that way. And I'm not saying like... I'm not saying you guys aren't off the table, so yeah if someone better comes along, then fully later, guys. But, ah you know, for real, though, like, you and I would, I don't have the time for that shit.
00:20:36
Speaker
And also, uh, What I've learned is it's just better to sometimes keep the distance between people. Yeah. And it's just you're better off. I think you could even reframe that in a positive way and say it's it's actually more valuable to maintain your existing friendships and relationships. Because that yeah fucking takes work.
00:20:57
Speaker
It does. And it's really important. Yeah. Because that is the one thing I've talked to my parents about where that's like kind of an honest, sad thing. They're like, it's we don't have any friends anymore.
00:21:10
Speaker
Because they either like, they they had the ones they had and then they died and they were actively. I mean, okay, here's the vote for trying to make new friends. as So when all your current friends die, you've got a new roster.
00:21:22
Speaker
In their sleep. Once you start seeing your friends dying, that's the time. That's like the... Oh, shit. Dave died. Yeah. can Get a new friend. I need a new Dave.
00:21:33
Speaker
There you go. Just putting that in the paper. Dear Dave 2.0. two point zero Are you a Dave? Are you alive? Do you identify as a Dave? I'm looking for a Dave.
00:21:45
Speaker
ah It is time to call the
Media Distrust and Economic Trends
00:21:47
Speaker
herd, though. So that's why this is Tyler's last list. It seems appropriate. Let's just... Tucker and I should find a new third member. ill get the fuck out of the house. Come up with some, ah well next next season is about fucking bees.
00:22:04
Speaker
All about bees. Your favorite bees. Bee bites. Those crazy killer hornets. What are those fuckers called? ah Not dread hornets. um Murder hornets. You heard about those fucking murder hornets? Giant metal war bee?
00:22:18
Speaker
they're like legit two inches long. Are they thick like a thumb? Because if that's the case, there was one outside my house yesterday. no Yeah, like two inches long. fuck so That needs to be a fucking children's book.
00:22:33
Speaker
Thick as a foam. Well, at first thought it was a hummingbird and then I was like whoa. And then I'm like, this is cicada. Like that cicada is like twice as long as it should be. It's got a stinger. And it's biting me.
00:22:44
Speaker
it just It goes over and picks up a mouse and flies off. Oh, God. It's trying to open the window. Tyler, you've got to leave the podcast because of your next point. You're simply too fucking busy. Murder Hornet.
00:22:57
Speaker
This is quickly, this is going to subside at some point. Really? Is it related to the new job? No, I mean, it's related to, yeah all kinds of shit. I feel like a bunch of shit just fucking converged into ah a shit storm. Just a shit storm. And um so my other one is like too fucking busy to get anything done. And it's true, man. You like reach this,
00:23:23
Speaker
equilibrium of of efficiency and trying to get shit done and like being productive and then it's just if shit just layers too deep like you end up just putting out fires I mean just like well it's spirals momentum yeah yeah exactly and it's like you know you split yourself so many different ways you end up getting nothing done. Like the productivity of one thing gets divided into a bunch of different things. the next thing you know, you're not, nothing's happening.
00:23:53
Speaker
Well, how are you combating that? Fucking not sleeping. that's That's not sustainable. Could you break down your day in levels like split into three different levels of of how much it's important that it's just right?
00:24:10
Speaker
doing that job. Like you are the only person who can do that. And if you find anyone who or any of those tasks where it doesn't really have to be you, but it just needs to get done, just fire fucking hire help.
00:24:23
Speaker
Yeah, no, I get that. Yeah. And I've, I've actually, my kid Milo's actually been able to me. He's getting old enough. Yeah, he can start doing chores. Yeah, yeah. um yeah Oh, he's been fucking sawing metal in the garage.
00:24:34
Speaker
Oh, nice. Yeah. Like I'll fucking give him 20 bucks and he can cut some metal and I don't have to do it. And you kind of, you, you planted a tree at the right time because right now you're about to be able to start picking the fruits of that shit.
00:24:47
Speaker
And that kid is going to be able to help you out around the house in ways. Yeah. It feels like you got hired help. Yeah. Yeah. I can't wait. I know like the first time, like I fucking mowed the lawn.
00:24:59
Speaker
My dad just cracked a beer and sat on the deck and watched me. Oh, what a point of pride and accomplishment. He was just like, I am so fucking happy that I don't have to do this right now.
00:25:12
Speaker
Milo mowed the lawn for the first time, i think last year. Whoa. And I'm right there with you. I was sat on the step and I like took a video and sent it to mom and like. Nice. Like he's all fucking going crooked and shit. And i'm like, you know what?
00:25:27
Speaker
It's cool. Good enough.
Nostalgic Childhood Gifts
00:25:30
Speaker
I've actually seen this quite a bit in like the people I've worked for that have kids and stuff. Like they have a, such a certain specific way that they want stuff done that they just get pissed off at their kids. They don't do it that way. So then they don't do it or don't have the kids do it. I mean, I see this even at like working at different places and stuff like that. Like people get so particular or they don't want to have to deal with it. No, you have to like,
00:25:54
Speaker
Dude, just let it go. Let it go. Like, let your kids fuck up, make the mistakes, hopefully not cut their feet off. button Right. you know, like, do the dumb shit and then figure it out and be helpful along the way. But, you know.
00:26:08
Speaker
We should note that Milo only has one foot now. Yeah, yeah. No, I actually knew worked with somebody that was missing his foot. Did he find him? And I found out that his he was mowing the lawn.
00:26:20
Speaker
Or his dad was mowing the lawn and his dad actually ran over his foot. When he was a kid. He couldn't see his child. i don Maybe he was missing an eye from his dad poking his eye out. Yes, it's a fucking generation. Generation trauma. Wow. ah do you keep like ah How do you manage your time?
00:26:41
Speaker
Do you have a calendar or schedule? Do you use an app? It's all in my head right now. okay That's probably not helpful. ah Yeah, I might try setting a, I'm a big fan.
00:26:52
Speaker
ah finally switched from like Apple Calendar because that was default on my iPhone. So I just got used to doing that to Google Calendar. And yeah that's been pretty nice. But I also still keep a physical planner.
00:27:04
Speaker
so Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like my previous job, I scheduled everything and put pretty detailed notes in my Google Calendar. It was super nice to wake up in the morning, ignore my phone. But then when I got to the point where I'm going to go to work, I look at the list of shit, and then I wouldn't have to remember it. You saw everything you had to I mean, i don't know who came up with this shit, but there's a pretty realistic theory that you only have a certain amount of good decisions in a day.
00:27:30
Speaker
Yeah. So no, for real, like, so I know i mean unlimited bad unanited bad, unlimited bad. So let's just say you've got let's just pick a number 10. Obviously, that's a low number.
00:27:42
Speaker
um If you are constantly making decisions all day long for stupid shit, like a lot of times e c you bring up a good point, keeping stuff in your memory and not having it written down.
00:27:54
Speaker
Those are decisions. Yeah. Those are things you're trying to remember. Oh shit. What? I knew i was supposed to get something done today. That's occupying the space that could be occupied by me being productively doing something. Yeah. Doing some other shit.
00:28:07
Speaker
So it, it brings up a good point. Yeah. Write it down. Write it down. First of all, learn to read and write. Then write it down.
00:28:17
Speaker
That's a winning combination right there. I'll start taking classes now. Holy shit. Yeah. Well, cool or not cool. That's not the right. i' I'm glad that you're like putting it, you' you're defining it.
00:28:33
Speaker
It recognizes the problem. Yeah, that's, I mean, that shit's important, you know, but now you've got another step, which is like, this is not sustainable. No, not at all.
00:28:44
Speaker
Not at all. And it's not even fun. Well, that's the thing. Yeah. Unsustainable things are great if they're fun, but like fucking, I just. No, when I was younger, I used to play and I'd like go play shows in the middle of the fucking week and not get home until four.
00:29:00
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. You're like, oh, I had a class last night. tired the next day. Fuck that, man. Like last night was fucking great. Like, yeah No, last night was not great. I was in the garage until three o'clock in the morning.
00:29:12
Speaker
That's not fun. Fucking cleaning the sump out of my CNC machine. do Cleaning chips. And I got fuck wake up in the morning, I smell like coolant. I have chips in my fucking clothing and shit. it's like Not the tasty kind.
00:29:24
Speaker
Not the fun chips. Get some pajamas. Metal chips. Do you wear PJs? I sleep naked. ah You sleep naked? All the time? Yep. Year round since 2005. Is it rude to ask me, does your partner, I don't know, you probably shouldn't put that out there.
00:29:42
Speaker
I'm the only one. You're the only one naked. And if your kid were to jump in bed, would you put on pants? I would be like, get the fuck out of bed, dude. I'm naked.
00:29:53
Speaker
I mean, now that he's like of of an age. Sure. I mean. yeah yeah It's not like Tucker's laying out fucking. Yeah, I'm not spread eagle like, hey, do family, I'm naked.
00:30:06
Speaker
Wiggling the helicopter. Boner waving in the air. Hey, family. Arms crossed, eyes wide open. Avson, good morning. Hey, family, am I awake, i'm dead, or asleep? Or horny. You can't. No one knows.
00:30:22
Speaker
Tyler, you just sleep in airport clothes? No, I'm fucking boxers. Shop rags? Oh, I normally wear shop rags. No, I normally wear a black. mean, I ahll always wear black t-shirts. I would love it if he wore like rainbow colored t-shirts. That'd be great. Yeah. Just opposite. Just tie-dye.
00:30:42
Speaker
Polka dot patterns. Opposite. As loud as it gets. I have like a bandana tied around my neck and like pearls. Yeah, big. Clown nose. Holy shit. um and and I wear like a t-shirt a lot of times just so when I wake up and it's light outside, i can pull it off and wrap it around my eyes.
00:31:01
Speaker
oh nice. i used My life is a fucking catastrophe. I'm realizing this now. Saying it out loud is just a really hilarious. fucking love I just can't sleep, man. I get it. You guys can sleep when it's... I mean, I can take a nap in the middle of the day.
00:31:23
Speaker
feel like anybody can do that. I'm asleep right now.
00:31:27
Speaker
Okay. putting listeners sleep. I don't know. if you guys don't stay up very late, very often. Oh, not anymore. The birds start chirping at like four o'clock the morning. yeah. I hear that.
00:31:40
Speaker
And if I hear birds, it's bad I get so pissed off because first of all, I'm fucking tired and delusional. I just spent 20 hours being alive and awake.
00:31:51
Speaker
Yeah. And you just lost your night. Oh my God. And the birds are chirping. So I know it's happening. I know it's about to happen. And I can't talk myself. We've talked about this before where I like put myself in this thing. Like imagine myself laying on the floor for four hours.
00:32:08
Speaker
You'd be like, Oh, that that's a super, that's the longest time in the world. So if you do that before you go to sleep for four hours, it feels like it's longer. Oh no. Oh no. Oh yeah. This isn't, this is not sustainable. There's this question.
00:32:24
Speaker
There's a sleep therapist in your future. I can and can tell. What are they going to say, though? They're going to sleep more? Like, fuck off. you know like Well, I think it's about good sleep is about good habits around sleep.
00:32:37
Speaker
And i thought a good sleep therapist was just asleep when you saw them. It's like you study. Watch me. Hey, bro. Check this out. You like get to the office and like, shh, the doctor's asleep.
00:32:51
Speaker
Don't wake him up. You can go in there now, but don't wake him up. Oh, we should totally do that, dude, because then you would feel super bad. You have to walk through a room full of bells all over the floor.
00:33:04
Speaker
To like go to a spot and you have to just sit there and not wake him up? Is this a man gate? Yeah, it and like sounds like one of the 36 chambers. Yes. Just got the bells on. He's going to make it around a sleeping master. Oh, you remember fucking Ninja Turtles?
00:33:18
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Where that kid went to the fucking skateboard ramp zone. Oh, yeah. love that. And Raphael came in and like.
00:33:30
Speaker
took all the bells and put it in his in his fucking arms. Yeah. And when the smoke cleared away, he had all the bells. was just like, what? Is this the movie? Yeah, dude. Yeah. Have you not seen the Ninja Turtles movies? Holy shit. I know I saw the one and two when they came out in the late 80s, I feel like. Yeah, early 90s. They had this huge warehouse for the foot, which was a bunch of teenagers.
00:33:53
Speaker
It was full of like neon signs that said beer. They were handing out fucking entire cartons of of unlabeled cigarettes. Everybody had boom boxes. They were playing pool. Or skateboard ramps like all over the place.
00:34:06
Speaker
Which just goes to show if the world, like all these fantasy worlds, we would always want to hang out with the foot soldiers, the stormtroopers. Oh, yeah. fucking like The terrible people, they're going to have the good parties and the better music.
00:34:22
Speaker
For sure. Well, are we saying that Vanilla Ice was the better music because we might have just contradicted or something. Well, no. Vanilla Ice was... abby ninja But he was the Turtles rap.
00:34:36
Speaker
You're talking about the soldiers? They're the bad guys. We should start a new gang. called The Foot, and it's just all middle-aged men, and we just go and, like, not terrorize, but kind of.
00:34:49
Speaker
Take pictures of other people's feet while they're sleeping. Ew. And then try and show them our photo album. Convince them that we're professional. We're doctors.
00:35:00
Speaker
Watch me sleep. I'm Dr. Shulmer. Okay, I'm pretty sure what I saw yesterday was a murder hornet. I'm looking at a picture on New York Times. That's I'm saying. Dude, I think they're here.
00:35:10
Speaker
That they are here. That story was in looked the, look at the date that that fucking um story was published. 2021. Yes, exactly. youre This is not news. They're not in Minnesota yet.
00:35:23
Speaker
They were in Washington and they were like, like hunting down the fucking nest. They like nest in the ground or some shit. They're there. I'm moving to.
00:35:36
Speaker
Somewhere where there's not murder hornets. I don't know. like The fucking moon. I
00:35:42
Speaker
i guess the cicada killer wasp is also very large. Yeah. i've seen all that might be That might be popular now. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Well, that's, I mean, it's a big cicada year. Guys, if our next season is going to be about bees, ah we we're going to be repeating some material here. Let's let's move it on to Tyler's list.
00:36:04
Speaker
um We got a few more. I've had a couple recent interactions with some fucking just fucking terrible children. And children ah children and their it's what's funny is that I know that you see the parents and see how the parents act.
00:36:21
Speaker
And they're like, This is every, this is like the terrible portion of the adult boiled down into three-year-old. Yeah. Did you meet the kid first and then later meet the parents and be like, oh, this checks? I think in the past 13 years of owning a child. Because they are your property. Yeah.
00:36:44
Speaker
Until they're 18, but when you get to sell them. Or until I fuck up and the state gets them, but yeah the it's been both ways. Sometimes you meet like a kid because they're like a kid's friend or something like that. Sometimes you just meet a kid. Trust me, officer. Hey, kid. You want to meet?
00:37:04
Speaker
What do you do for work? Jesus Christ.
00:37:12
Speaker
ah Oh, okay. Sometimes you meet a kid. No, no. yeah it's It's either way Sometimes you know the parents first. Sometimes a kid meets you. Ew.
00:37:25
Speaker
you
00:37:30
Speaker
Oh my God. Sometimes it's the other way. oh I think for for me personally, it's been some of my most sobering moments are when I realized that I have the worst traits of my parents.
00:37:46
Speaker
Oh. When I see myself acting in a way that I remember seeing my parents acting and what are those traits hating i mean their anger ah disposition towards negativity uh only able to show love through sarcasm and jokes okay like these things are i'm just like oh yeah is your dad funny well my dad's hilarious yeah i almost can't even believe that Well, Lairbear, yeah, I could see. No, Lairbear can spin a yarn and he's fast and he just does weird shit.
00:38:20
Speaker
Wow. Like, we would get the TV guide. you know, when we were growing Yeah. Oh, love those. And this is a, to our listeners who are younger than 35 years old, of which there are none. So I'm going to stop that.
00:38:34
Speaker
Stop that tangent right Every week we got one of these and he would just fully doctor up. Cause it was always a portrait of whatever the latest movie TV star was. And he would just draw on it. And the, most hilarious ways. Stitches, open wounds, running nose, they're barfing, woman's got a beard. On the cover? Yeah, on the cover. Oh, it was like a Blob Point pen or something? Yeah, exactly. Your dad was probably like a secret editor for Mad Men. Yeah, oh my god. I'm surprised. Yeah, I never saw any of those subscriptions in his stuff.
00:39:12
Speaker
and no I don't know. Was your dad phony? and No, not really, don't think. He had some funny sayings because I think he was disconnected from reality, but.
00:39:23
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. ah What were some of those sayings? Well, he'd always say like all out for Bosco when we'd show up at places like to get out of the car, like get up.
00:39:35
Speaker
And then how now brown cow? He'd say that all the time. mean, he would say you're full of shit. Yeah. Or go take a hike or go jump in a lake. I say jump in a lake. I do feel, no, but you say go jump off a bridge now.
00:39:50
Speaker
So that's fucking exactly tracks. I say fall off a cliff. Yeah. Like I wouldn't mind if that person fell off a cliff. Exactly. There we go. It's a very passive way of saying that. person Yeah. Let's 32 skidoo. That means like, let's get the heck out of here.
00:40:04
Speaker
Yeah. What was that first one? Something about Bosco? and All out for Bosco. All out for Bosco. i've never fucking heard that before. Yeah. It's like like everybody, we, we park, put the car in park, take the seatbelts off. We weren't wearing seatbelts and like, get out of the car. All out for Bosco.
00:40:20
Speaker
Like a herd of turtles. get out the Get out of the car. Yeah. We're here. Yeah, we're here. We've arrived. Funny. yeah my My favorite, and this is not a recurring thing. It was a one-time thing. Tyler was there for that.
00:40:34
Speaker
I was like being funny for Milo um when we went to the zoo. Remember this, Tyler? And our dad was like,
00:40:46
Speaker
ah Some joke happened. Everyone was laughing at me, mostly probably not with me. And he's like, what are you all autistic? Not autistic. Autistic.
00:40:58
Speaker
I think I remember this. What are you autistic? Yeah, to me, basically called me autistic, but got it wrong.
00:41:06
Speaker
What are you autistic? i mean Oh, my God. It's the alternative autistic. Tucker and I act very much like our father. In a lot of ways, I think so. Yeah.
00:41:16
Speaker
Our mannerisms are very similar. Our humor is strikingly strikingly similar. Yeah. I see. i i was lucky enough to to know your dad and be told I'm full of shit.
00:41:29
Speaker
I am. Yeah. So, yeah, I recognize that for sure. We we cough like our dad. Holy shit. Identical. Tucker sneezes like Dan.
00:41:40
Speaker
Allie coughs like her mom. It drives me. Better than coughing like your mom because then there'd be something weird going on. Oh, shit. Did you just cough like my mom? Are you fucking serious right now? Sometimes you meet a mom. Sometimes a mom meets you. I will say my dad and sneeze.
00:41:56
Speaker
ah We both will get will hit like sneezing runs of like 30 plus sneezes in a row. yeah That's not real. I need you to call me the next time that happens. Wait, it happens like every... Chuck, Chuck! Chuck! Chuck! Chuck i get a little bit more space it's more like it could be like ten fifteen seconds between sneezes wow they just keep fucking coming the fuck it's wrong with you that's how you're gonna die growing up with that means you have su just dude who know i just niolas he could be that's a good one going up
00:42:28
Speaker
i remember like the whole family yelling at my dad because he can't stop sneezing like knock it ah And then you start. and It's like when little kids see people puke in school. The one kid pukes and the next kid pukes and the the third kid pukes. All right.
00:42:44
Speaker
got to keep this train going. right. Billboards. So I'm driving a fucking Timbuktu every day now on 94. I'm out of the city. Driving out of the city and it gets more and more.
00:42:56
Speaker
Cryptic. Hilariously like Republican billboards. Like, obviously, like, abortion's terrible, save a child, like, all this shit.
00:43:07
Speaker
And then I saw this new one of this, like, brunette. Just imagine what a Republican woman looks like. ah I'm not trying to be a stereotype, but a stern Republican woman.
00:43:20
Speaker
Karen. She's just standing there, and it says... the fall of Minneapolis documentary. And it gives like the fucking website. And I've heard about this on, on, uh, like I want to say like a year ago on fucking Facebook and all these people like commenting, like so true. Or like those libtards get what they deserve. All this like crazy commentary. Tyler.
00:43:44
Speaker
Tyler. Tucker, Tyler's trying to get us to do top 10 movies again, and he's telling us about his favorite one. Oh, God. We're going back. First of all. That's ways. There's not.
00:43:56
Speaker
I won't even. like yeah i can't. You can't. You can't dignify this with a with like a response, like a real. You can't click on that. You can't fucking watch it. like kill propaganda Oh, I would be afraid to do it on YouTube for sure. So let's give them the benefit of the doubt and say that 5% of that movie is true.
00:44:16
Speaker
The problem is, is that if I go and watch it, I'm supporting it. You know what mean? Mm-hmm. And I feel like this is just a terrible way to bait people's feelings.
00:44:29
Speaker
Yeah. And this happens on both sides of whatever fucking world you think you're on. That's why billboards should be outlawed. Well, i I agree with that one. I would rather much see a Chick-fil-A one, but, ah well, maybe not Chick-fil-A one that lady That lady also goes for Chick-fil-A. um Well, the chick that produced it is ah the police union's she chief wife.
00:44:55
Speaker
yeah She was a TV reporter, and that just be turned into too much of like a um just conflict of interest. I don't know if she quit, or but she can ah got canned from WCCO.
00:45:09
Speaker
Yeah. I just hate this shit, man. like I just wish people would be... I want make 50% more not fucking crooked on every yeah and every side of everything. Just be like, hey, you should, I don't fucking even know. It just struck me when I saw it.
00:45:28
Speaker
I mean, I'm used to like the abortion. yeah These ugly ass babies with the bow on their head. Every life is a gift. Yes, we understand that. I get it. had a thumb right when you came. Pfft.
00:45:44
Speaker
It was as big as a killer hornet.
00:45:48
Speaker
um Look, mom, I'm a hornet. Goo goo, gaga. Bite. but o Wow. It's a crowdfunded documentary. I mean, like, say no more.
00:46:00
Speaker
Yeah. From a person who's married to a police union chief, guy, president, whatever. i kind of wish that they just had, instead of like actually saying the address, like the web address to find the movie, if it had a QR code. Oh, God. you're just always driving, driving.
00:46:20
Speaker
Fucking put your phone out the fucking window, your big dumb pickup truck. So many phones on the outside of the on the road. Oh, there's so many car accidents. Oh my God, the fall of Minneapolis.
00:46:32
Speaker
Yeah, don't watch that movie. Thanks for giving it more promotion though, Tyler. Really that. and Yeah, sorry. Breville, Breville, Breville. Minneapolis has some shit to figure out.
00:46:43
Speaker
it It got fucking hairy for a while. Dude, that but it's getting city, more than any other city, had the literal shit kicked out of it. Yeah. I mean, it... it It had, it's like a coastal city that just got nailed by five consecutive hurricanes, who you know?
00:47:01
Speaker
And so it like give a little grace, like people don't recognize that enough. Like they just, it's the problem is like the pandemic, like, ruined a lot of cities. yeah Yeah. San Francisco, you know, like Austin, all these places are like, you know, and maybe not Austin, Portland or Seattle. Yeah. yeah and But the, that kind of overshadowed the, I think unique trauma that Minneapolis was suffering. Oh my God. Yeah.
00:47:31
Speaker
I mean, the the racial reckoning as it's been called, which was a global phenomenon. It happened in reaction to the shit that happened here. But all of those other situations were reactionary. Whereas here, like it was our people, like on our streets and our buildings and like, ah it So, yeah, I mean, it's like, I don't want to say it's more real, but I mean, yeah, yeah to your point, like we got the shit kicked out of us. yeah it's Yeah, it's more relevant because it's more personal and everybody's a stakeholder.
00:48:07
Speaker
If you're watching it from fucking Portland, Oregon or whatever, you're not a stakeholder in that. It's weirder to see your street on the news when shit's out. Well, dude, I mean, like we had friends...
00:48:19
Speaker
I won't put that person's name on here, but like who lived pretty close to where the murder happened and where shit was really alive for a while. and like, motherfuckers that were from out of town were stashing kerosene in the alleyway.
00:48:38
Speaker
Like they were going to go start some shit, you know? Like I, with my own eyes at the gas station, just three blocks from here, like tied around 33rd and Stinson, see all these fucking goons in pickup trucks with Texas plates and they're fucking like wannabe cars.
00:48:55
Speaker
like ah militia. Oh, yeah. Publicized things. And i got like literally got you could see their guns. Like they're just like parading around town. yeah There was a Trump train on 37th, which is a block away from my house.
00:49:09
Speaker
yeah like tall ass pickup trucks with the fucking, like they just went up and down rolling coal real slow, like going back and forth. I'm like, you fucking pussies. You're not going actually go to Minneapolis. You're going to go right on the edge. Yeah. You're going to go to the, it's like, that's kind of the funny, like going to prom and never going dance and you're complaining about not having girls.
00:49:30
Speaker
Yeah. right. This, uh, the boring, getting too far. So boring light is flashing. Yeah. Let's get back on the list. Um,
00:49:39
Speaker
Dude, fucking expensive beers at shows right now. Why is went to show. I went to it and you're fucking put the tickets higher. I don't give a shit. No. i mean ah Probably the money. I mean, a lot of bands play.
00:49:51
Speaker
a lot of bands play and get a percentage of alcohol ah alcohol sales, which I get. But like... Get the fuck out, man. $13 for a Miller Lite? That's bullshit. Ooh, that's like Metrodome football prices. That's like normal prices around here for like small shows.
00:50:07
Speaker
It's fucking stupid. It's ridiculous. I don't even know what to say. I'm not going to go there and- If you're at a show, yeah. You're double digits for anything. Dumb. And everything. but and then And then my tip is inadequate because like I normally i mean, I feel like a dollar tip for opening a beer is.
00:50:24
Speaker
so Yeah, that's generous. i mean, but but also the norm. It is what I tip. Yeah, I think that's what it should be. But when you double the price of the beverage. I'm not going to. Well, you're tipping the service, not the product.
00:50:40
Speaker
Well, I know, but there's a percentage. i Well, I guess what I'm getting at is I feel bad. Yeah. Because when it's fucking $10, I feel like I that was double that what it was when I was tipping a dollar. Right.
00:50:50
Speaker
But I'm not, fuck you, I'm not tipping $2 on a $13 Coors Light that you didn't even open for me. Yeah. In some cases, like, you didn't even use your finger.
00:51:02
Speaker
I'll give you a dollar if you do some finger stuff. Yeah. yeah No, I mean, i so I've been to some small shows and the tickets for the show were like,
00:51:18
Speaker
under 30 bucks and the beers are still fucking $13. And I'm like, this is fucking stupid. I mean, once you add fees in, you add like another 30%. I mean, I think we need to bring back the days of smuggle at drinks.
00:51:33
Speaker
Oh yeah. Yeah. It's going to happen. I think, I think that's what's happening. Cause I will totally do that. Tyler was playing drums. Yeah. for a Tim Riley Gold show and we almost like got kicked out of the varsity theater because he was smuggling in fucking schlitz yeah I was the person performing and the guy from yeah I don't know if the bar sound came back and told me I had to leave if I didn't get rid of my beers yeah and I'm like you guys aren't even fucking paying me like you didn't even give drink tickets like fuck you man
00:52:09
Speaker
Yeah, sorry, Tyler. We kept your pay and drink tickets because we did not want to share with you. That's actually what I'm learning right now. No, but Tucker and I both had jackets.
00:52:21
Speaker
Oh, yeah. That had beer pockets. In between the two layers, yeah. Three on each side. There's a game changer. That was great. We used to go to bars where we were already there to drink like two for once. I mean, it's like as cheap as we get. and We still bring our own beers.
00:52:40
Speaker
buy like ah ah Buy like a pack, drink the first six in the car in the parking lot. So good. And then bring the other ones in there. All right, what's next on your fucking list? It's an election year and it doesn't even seem like I don't watch the news, but I feel like when the last time it was election year, it was like the biggest fucking shit show, just like the previous election year, like presidential election.
00:53:04
Speaker
I feel like it was the biggest fucking deal on the goddamn earth. I feel like nobody, everybody's fucking burnt out on it. Yeah. And,
00:53:14
Speaker
it's It's a little strange. yeah yeah while i get it Every once in a while get a snippet of like, oh yeah, it's fucking presidential things going to happen and I'm like, I should forget about that.
00:53:26
Speaker
You got one dude supporting a genocide, one dude with a fucking brain in his worm and the other one in court. I don't know, man. think people are pretty much worn out and they've seen it all and they just don't give a fuck anymore.
00:53:37
Speaker
Yeah, this is a sequel nobody asked for. Exactly. Yeah. exactly I think you know it's going to kick in. We're like, what what is May 15th? We're what, five months out still?
00:53:50
Speaker
We're just shy of five months. I mean, if you read the news, it is. It's nothing but these guys. The front page story every single day. Okay. So it is a shit show and I just haven't been paying attention. And like the, the right now, the talk I feel like is like polls and not like who's ahead in the polls or what group are like being left behind the polls. But like talking about the polls themselves has become the news cycle. Like people defending the polls, breaking apart the polls. Yeah.
00:54:17
Speaker
Fuck the polls at this point. Hey, because we've got a like collection of guesses. Let's look at these guesses. That should be our next season's podcast, a collection of guesses. Yeah, it's just each week, it's a fucking another jar of goddamn marbles. And we have to fucking get it. And the whole podcast is about why we think it's 831 fucking marbles. Oh my God. And Tyler's arguing how he thinks it's 942. Somebody's got to count it, though.
00:54:45
Speaker
we need an intern no that would end you can't because that would end the show so it just always needs to go with more we're just changing the number and guessing yeah yeah yeah it's a beautiful analogy for what's happening okay i would also say we need to be careful about when we talk about this year because when this podcast eventually airs it's gonna be 2025 Or later.
00:55:10
Speaker
Or later. and So we should tell even know if society... should listeners... Podcasts are still going to be thing at this point. It's June 1st, 1997 right now. um We're predicting we're going to put the podcast out in a little while, but it it takes a little bit longer to edit it, because EC is real fucking busy. My favorite movie, Gatica, just came out. I'm nervous about this Clinton fella.
00:55:36
Speaker
my God. um It's also not an election year if you don't vote. oh Got around that one. i See, I found the loophole.
00:55:49
Speaker
the was so loophole There we go. There we go. Good old root hole for your dirt stash. All have to say is that if there aren't debates, I'm going to be very crushed. and as As much of a sham as debates are,
00:56:06
Speaker
It's all gotcha moments and whatever. Well, you're in luck. Or just like avoiding- If they don't fucking do debates. They confirmed it today. Yeah. They're not going to. No, that they are. June 27th. Good.
00:56:21
Speaker
I don't give a shit. Another one in September. This is something that should be a staple of American. Fuck yeah. Democracy. They should be forced or fucking what they should do debates. Even as much of a sham as they are and they avoid the questions. They should be put on the stage.
00:56:37
Speaker
ah They should be fucking. Basically be put on notice that they are avoiding the questions. Yeah. There you go. I want to see like the actual forced where they're like strapped to chairs and wheeled into the room. Oh my God.
00:56:50
Speaker
What do you think about abortion? about abortion? Like fucking. Oh my God. It's like that scene in Ghostbusters where the one guy's actually guessing right all the time and he's getting zapped and the girl's is totally wrong and Bill Murray's like, oh my God. So good.
00:57:08
Speaker
Has anybody seen the new Ghostbusters yet? No. I haven't seen the brand new one. But also, speaking of sequels, did you know that there's a new Beetlejuice movie coming out? the Yes, and I'm so fucking pumped.
00:57:22
Speaker
Do you think going to be good? Yeah, it's got Winona Ryder in it It's got Michael Keaton. It's got Catherine O'Hara. Okay. Who's directing it? Tim Burton again? If that's the case. No, I don't think that's happening.
00:57:36
Speaker
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. I watched the new Matrix in it. um Is it? What? Oh, it's got Monica Bellucci, Willem Dafoe.
00:57:47
Speaker
Or 2022 or something. Oh, dude, Tim Burton is directing. Executive producer? No, is the director of the new one. good Oh, good. Annie's a producer and Brad Pitt's a producer.
00:57:59
Speaker
And david David Geffen is a producer. Weird. All right. Producers are fucking. Danny Elfman did the music. You know going to be a jam. I know it's Tyler's last episode, but we gotta end this fucking check. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, favorite gift. Wait, I just outed it. and Yeah, favorite gift when you were a child.
00:58:15
Speaker
i have a I have a children's birthday coming up on Sunday. i know what he wants, but I feel like... Are you just looking for ideas? No, he wants a fucking computer. whoa Really?
00:58:27
Speaker
Yeah. Are you going to get him? Dude, I will mail him this 19, like 95 win book. Whoa. ah wind book whoa has on it. He window would start crying.
00:58:41
Speaker
He would open up the box and start crying. Really? Really? yes Does he know what a good computer is? No, but knows what a sort of bad computer is. Jesus Christ. He would start crying and he would be like I didn't want this. It's from like, I understand you. Holy shit. mu Milo, if you wrote there was EC on there, you would be laughing his ass off for days, man.
00:59:09
Speaker
Favorite gift when I got, well, ah two. The most important one was the pro my first pro skateboard, like legit skateboard, not toy. but I remember when you got that. I remember when you opened it. oh I can recollect you opening that. Yeah, that was just like one of the most important moments of my entire life and what that allowed to happen after that.
00:59:33
Speaker
It's like a founding moment in my life. But the I think the other thing um was getting the Transformer Skyfire, that huge, huge airplane.
00:59:44
Speaker
Yeah. That thing was so badass. like How old were you when you got that? Oh, I think that happened when I was in Iowa. Seven. Seven, yeah. Yeah, okay. cool uh i think i was 12 when i got the super nintendo and no shit like stayed up till midnight playing super mario world because that game was fucking perfect oh my god that game is amazing it's still it's still good oh no that's like one of my favorite games to replay i'll just i come back to that once a year about and i play as far as i can get and i'm terrible i can never beat the game but um
01:00:21
Speaker
It's so good. It's so, it's fucking comforting. It's fucking great. I love that game. I will also say one Christmas, I feel like I got like 30 He-Men. Whoa. Like it wasn't one particular, but it was like a fucking quantity.
01:00:35
Speaker
That's a shitload of money. you meant that i got Yeah, no, seriously. Wait, me, inbox or just like in a bag? No, no, no, like Inbox. he-man that was like 1985 i feel like i don't know yeah i got some like rays or something like that but i was like it was a crazy amount and then i had a good birthday where my mom put together awesome lego set on top of a cake oh well she put it together she put it together wow whoa made it the cake top big points mom yeah it was the lego like knights
01:01:07
Speaker
It like a night slash movement kind brand that they had. Did she wash it off afterwards? did she just always have icing on that fucker? No, it was just the face that was it. Because even if they're like, shit would get stuck in the holes. Oh, then you're doomed after that. You just gotta wash the icing off. Okay, runner-up, or not runner-up, but it'd be my number three was, think it was the Christmas of 89. It could have been 90, probably 89. Tyler and I both got each two of the four Ninja Turtles to make the full four.
01:01:37
Speaker
And the only time that our family went to Duluth, it was for one overnight. um Our dad had to work at checkouts at JCPenney's that were still in Duluth for something.
01:01:48
Speaker
And we brought our... Our four Ninja Turtles and stayed at that hotel that I think was a Holiday Inn. It had the spinning restaurant at the top at them at the time. Because your dad had to work a shift at JCPenney? No. he So, he was a loss prevention manager. So, he'd have to go to stores all the time and like... Yeah. Yeah.
01:02:07
Speaker
and Really catch a thief or like, um like figure out why they weren't like. I forgot that was your dad's job. I forgot that was your dad's job. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like track so hard.
01:02:21
Speaker
Yep. Yeah, that maybe informs some things. Full set Ninja Turtles is great. I would Tucker had the pizza shooter. oh I think that was you.
01:02:32
Speaker
Really? But I thought I had the turtle van. Oh, you're right. You had the van, I had the shooter. You're right. Yeah. The turtle van was probably one of mine. and Or the Micro Machines aircraft carrier. The boat or the aircraft carrier. Yeah.
01:02:47
Speaker
Dude, that thing was fucking amazing. that was badass. oh And then did I have the white plane? You had the boat and I had the white plane? and think so, yeah. Good fucking toys. Oh, great. I had multiple construction site.
01:03:00
Speaker
Micro machine things. i kept getting them somehow. Huh? It was a construction site. I don't have kids. You guys do. What's the toy scene like? Is it as cool as when we were growing up? Oh, it's stupid. Just garbage.
01:03:15
Speaker
Yeah. It's either your kid is into video games. Your kid is into sports. Yeah. Or it's like Legos. and Or garbage. Or, yeah, I mean. Really?
01:03:26
Speaker
At least Legos are strong. Dude, there's nothing good anymore. You can buy a $130 fucking dinosaur that, like, walks, and it's just fucking garbage. For 60 seconds.
01:03:38
Speaker
Yeah, and it's just fucking garbage, and it's... two no when we When we speak of favorite gifts, I think it's a also of a hilarious tangent worst gifts. And you just described one of the dumbest ones.
01:03:52
Speaker
All right. So every Christmas you get like one big package, right? yes there's it there's Yeah. There's a lot of maybe a little little ones that you've got, but there's always one big one. And one year, my big one was a fucking remote-controlled dude standing on a skateboard. And could go forward and curve to the right or backwards and curve to the left. Yes, I love remote-to-cars that would only turn when they went backwards or something. Oh, yeah. That was such a hilarious...
01:04:28
Speaker
it' What a fucked up thing. I remember playing with that thing for five fucking minutes when I got it and just being like, this sucks. You had him do a McTwist off of the front step. and Couldn't even do that.
01:04:40
Speaker
Like, couldn't even go fast. Do you guys remember, like, an exceptionally shitty present? This seems like an appropriate thing to end Tyler's last part. Well, let me just give you this anecdote. One time we bought Nash this like really expensive Ninjago Lego set. it was like over $100.
01:04:56
Speaker
And he like ah tore off the paper, looked at it, and just set it down. And I just like quietly went over and just slid it under the couch, and then we returned it. Because he just didn't give a shit about it. I got my fucking under bucks back. like but Didn't even ask about it afterwards. No. Nash, if you're listening to this, you can talk about it in therapy tomorrow. oh my God, that's amazing. That shit is amazing.
01:05:23
Speaker
Because half the time, they they like the presents. They like the fucking box of the presents. Like, i could get these fuckers. What are you? Do you have kids or dads? A 10 by 10 refrigerator box. What's inside? What's inside? Yeah. be like Nothing's going to be good. Just roll of fucking duct tape in in a fucking box cutter. Don't cut yourself.
01:05:42
Speaker
I get to play with a knife. Toenails? Don't cut yourself, yeah. Wow, all right. Well, any other? Tucker, do you have a worst gift? Oh God. Yeah, worst gift. and Every year, so somewhere along the line, our mom decided that I was really into cows. Cows, yes.
01:06:03
Speaker
um and that And this is the same year that that mom decided ah that Tyler was really into nutcrackers. But ah so there was probably a good six or so year run where I was just getting like really weird cow stuff.
01:06:21
Speaker
And I don't mean like but a cow toy that a kid who's maybe like into farming would play with. I mean like some shit that like a mom would buy for the living room shelf. A porcelain cow whistle.
01:06:33
Speaker
Yeah. You blow into its butt and it whistles. Or like a cow throw pillow or a cow wooden statue that has like a rope tail. so Would you keep this stuff or would you get it back in your room?
01:06:48
Speaker
because you can't. of guilt? Yeah, this just like existed.
Unwanted Gifts and Parental Misunderstandings
01:06:53
Speaker
But it would be in your room? Yeah, it was our stuff. And I had all these fucking nutcrackers. yeah It's like, it's not Christmas. What am I supposed to do with these fuckers?
01:07:01
Speaker
Tyler's really into nutcrackers. And they were like straight of from like fucking Pier 1 imports. So they were like poorly glued together. It's just terrible. and I had those same points. Oh my God.
01:07:12
Speaker
I like that. I like this. ah and When parents are, yeah they're just not willing to put in the effort to actually get to know their child and find out what they actually like. Yes. Or they're just tired and they're like, fuck it.
01:07:25
Speaker
Cows for that one, Cows for the other. It's like they're just like closing their eyes and pointing to something in a magazine. There was probably some like Better Homes and Gardens article like what to get your child sponsored by cows, animal porcelain figures and fucking Pier 1 imports.
01:07:43
Speaker
I forgot about that cow whistle whistle where you blow in the butt. I did forget about that one. Yeah. Tucker, do you like ice cream? Yeah? Then you must like the things that make ice cream. Cows. Get ready to blow in their ass. I'm just going to get my kids cigarettes from now on. Oh, God. Cartons of cigarettes. They're too expensive nowadays. A carton of cigarettes has to be like $400 nowadays. It's $15 in Minneapolis. They passed a minimum.
01:08:11
Speaker
For a pack. A pack. Yeah. A carton is 20 packs.
Expensive Bullets Proposal
01:08:16
Speaker
Yeah. No, they're like catching up to New York. Whoa. That's why people like hijack semi trucks. Yeah. Dude, it's going to come back. It's going to bring it back.
01:08:25
Speaker
Yeah. That's what they need to do with bullets. Each bullet is $25. Yeah.
01:08:33
Speaker
Tell me that wouldn't work. That's Chris. Tell me it wouldn't work. i mean,
Podcast Wrap-up and Teaser
01:08:38
Speaker
yeah. Bullet manufacturers would be stoked. People buying bullets?
01:08:43
Speaker
Eh, kind of bummed. But, fuck, man. Tell me that, like, shooting a bunch of people with bunch bullets. that got would feel special. Because they were like, whoa, you choo-choo-choos me.
01:08:55
Speaker
fucking christ all right we need to end next week next week uh join us as we go through tucker's fourth list of here's a list what do you got for us anything exciting oh i can't tell you do you have a list started already no absolutely Murder Hornets, Cicada Killers. Join us next week as we talk about the most recent things that's been on Tucker's Live.
01:09:24
Speaker
Until then, bye. Peace.