Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
LOVE IS BLIND S6 Ep 1-2: The Master Manipulator, Blind Sexual Attraction and Love Triangles
85 Plays2 years ago
Unlock the drama, passion, and surprises of Love is Blind with our exclusive podcast recap of episodes 1-2! 🌟 Join us as we delve deep into the blindfolded journey of love, dissecting every emotional twist and turn. Don't miss out on the ultimate companion to your favorite show – tune in now and let the love stories unfold in your ears! 💑🎙️ #LoveIsBlind #PodcastRecap #LoveStoryUnveiled
Meet Your Hosts!
Dr. Greg Matos, PsyD:
https://www.instagram.com/greg.matos/
For his blog:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/gregory-matos-psyd
Leah Aguirre, LCSW:
https://www.instagram.com/leahaguirrelcsw/
For her blog:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/leah-aguirre-lcsw
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to 'Blind Love Skeptics'
00:00:07
Speaker
Welcome to Blind Love Skeptics, where we dissect the highs, the lows, and the downright jaw-dropping moments of Love is Blind.
00:00:14
Speaker
I'm your host, Leah.
00:00:16
Speaker
I'm Dr. Greg.
00:00:17
Speaker
Buckle up, because we're about to dive deep into the roller coaster of emotions of Love is Blind Season 6.
The Chaotic Appeal of 'Love is Blind'
00:00:23
Speaker
All right, Greg, it's time.
00:00:25
Speaker
It's time to dive into this.
00:00:27
Speaker
Dr. Greg.
00:00:29
Speaker
dumpster fire of a show and also super entertaining.
00:00:33
Speaker
I was drawn in from the very beginning and I'm not necessarily a reality TV show
Therapist's Take on Contestants' Mental Health
00:00:38
Speaker
addict.
00:00:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:00:38
Speaker
I think it's worth saying I got, I wanted you to do a podcast with me.
00:00:41
Speaker
So I requested that you watch the show because I wanted a male perspective and a therapist perspective.
00:00:47
Speaker
Yes, absolutely.
00:00:49
Speaker
Which all of these people need therapists a hundred percent.
00:00:52
Speaker
I think that's like from the very beginning, something's going on and yeah.
00:00:56
Speaker
Oh, go ahead.
00:00:57
Speaker
No.
00:00:58
Speaker
Well, I mean, I just, the amount of dysfunction and the way that particularly Matthew, but other folks in the beginning of this show is relatively high.
00:01:09
Speaker
I'd say everybody would benefit from seeing one of us.
00:01:12
Speaker
Relatively high dysfunction.
00:01:14
Speaker
Well, the thing is too, is you know, like similar to The Bachelor and all these other shows, there's probably a casting, they want to cast some of these characters for the sake of television, which makes sense.
Casting Choices and Unseen Contestants
00:01:25
Speaker
But then you hope nobody falls for them.
00:01:26
Speaker
Like then you hope nobody goes for these highly dysfunctional people who are not yet, who have not yet probably been seen by a therapist or even intend to go to therapy ever.
00:01:39
Speaker
Yeah.
00:01:39
Speaker
But my real question is what happened to the other, all these other people who were in the pods with, that was like 15 people, but we only actually ever see these folks, the folks we're going to talk about today.
00:01:50
Speaker
I know.
00:01:50
Speaker
Were the other people just boring?
00:01:52
Speaker
Is that
Analyzing Matthew: Manipulative or Misunderstood?
00:01:53
Speaker
basically what happened?
00:01:53
Speaker
I think that's part of it.
00:01:54
Speaker
And I think they include like one quote, boring couple for the sake of just having like a successful show.
00:02:00
Speaker
But then they, cause they've had other couples in different, cause again, you're new to this, but they've had different couples that have essentially been,
00:02:10
Speaker
left out completely who got married and to, we just don't know about them.
00:02:14
Speaker
I know.
00:02:15
Speaker
And wouldn't that be nice?
00:02:16
Speaker
Wouldn't it be nice to have an example of a healthy functioning relationship on reality TV?
00:02:21
Speaker
I know.
00:02:23
Speaker
I know.
00:02:23
Speaker
And so I, I,
00:02:26
Speaker
I think we should start with the most dysfunctional human being because this is, I'm sure, what most people were thinking was, how did this person get on?
00:02:34
Speaker
Of course, it's because of probably production, like you said.
00:02:37
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:37
Speaker
But Mr. Matthew.
00:02:38
Speaker
Who's that we're talking about?
00:02:39
Speaker
Matthew.
00:02:40
Speaker
Mr. Matthew.
00:02:41
Speaker
Mr. Matthew.
00:02:43
Speaker
He's a Matthew manipulator.
00:02:45
Speaker
I wrote that down.
00:02:46
Speaker
Okay.
00:02:47
Speaker
I think I might have a completely different outlook on Matthew, to be honest with you.
00:02:50
Speaker
Wow.
00:02:51
Speaker
Okay.
00:02:51
Speaker
But I'm interested to hear the master manipulator sitch that you think is going on.
00:02:58
Speaker
What is it?
00:03:01
Speaker
I think he's probably antisocial a little bit.
00:03:05
Speaker
I use the term narcissist on social media because he has narcissistic qualities, but I think he's a full-blown person.
00:03:12
Speaker
Unless he's playing it up, but either way, that's still antisocial in a lot of ways.
00:03:16
Speaker
I guess so.
00:03:17
Speaker
Also, I just want to like to say we cannot, we're, we're scapulating and we cannot diagnose anyone.
00:03:21
Speaker
No, no, no, no, nothing.
00:03:23
Speaker
No, this is for educational and entertainment purposes only.
00:03:26
Speaker
That's it.
00:03:27
Speaker
Exactly.
00:03:28
Speaker
So I, so I guess we should, I mean, everyone's probably who's listening watched it, but Matthew, I think a few things.
00:03:37
Speaker
He comes in with this list of questions, these 15 questions.
00:03:39
Speaker
That's what I wrote down.
00:03:40
Speaker
15 questions that he's making women just choose one from.
00:03:43
Speaker
And then sometimes they choose the wrong one.
00:03:45
Speaker
He says, I've heard that before.
00:03:46
Speaker
Get like, be original.
00:03:48
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:03:49
Speaker
When I heard that, I thought to myself like, wow, he really doesn't give a fuck.
00:03:53
Speaker
No fucks.
00:03:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:55
Speaker
No fucks.
00:03:56
Speaker
He also, so again, he references, this is where like his, he references Superman.
00:04:03
Speaker
What's the Superman reference?
00:04:05
Speaker
He said like Superman was also cool to begin with or something like that.
00:04:08
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:04:10
Speaker
Oh no.
00:04:10
Speaker
He compared himself to Superman?
00:04:12
Speaker
Yes.
00:04:13
Speaker
How did I miss that?
00:04:14
Speaker
I wrote, I have a whole Matthew page.
00:04:17
Speaker
Oh, no.
00:04:17
Speaker
If you're not, if you don't see that.
00:04:19
Speaker
And was he completely expressionless when he said that?
00:04:22
Speaker
I don't remember, but- Because that's the thing, yeah.
00:04:24
Speaker
That's the thing that struck me about him.
00:04:27
Speaker
But don't you think that's kind of antisocial?
00:04:29
Speaker
It could be.
00:04:30
Speaker
A little bit.
00:04:30
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:04:31
Speaker
He's a little-
00:04:32
Speaker
Right?
00:04:32
Speaker
Like it's not on the spectrum.
00:04:33
Speaker
It was very, cause it was very calculated.
00:04:36
Speaker
Oh, this is what you think.
00:04:37
Speaker
Well, I don't know.
00:04:38
Speaker
I'm also, well, because I'm not only a psychologist, but I am, you know, non-clinically obsessed with love, love on the spectrum.
00:04:49
Speaker
Oh, we should recap that.
00:04:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:04:51
Speaker
And I, yeah, that's definitely recap that.
00:04:56
Speaker
Love on a spectrum.
00:04:57
Speaker
So now I've just been more interested in that in general.
00:05:00
Speaker
And I thought to myself, is does he have this list?
00:05:04
Speaker
Because it's like this set of rules that he understands, like he's already predefined.
00:05:10
Speaker
Like it's it's the system that's, you know, that he's beholden to.
00:05:15
Speaker
No, that's not clicking for you.
00:05:17
Speaker
I don't think so.
00:05:18
Speaker
I think he
Aidy and Matthew: A Complex Relationship
00:05:20
Speaker
wanted to come off as original and prepared.
00:05:23
Speaker
And that includes these questions that would help him get to know people.
00:05:28
Speaker
But he does the opposite because he then tells them their questions are wrong.
00:05:32
Speaker
They pick the wrong number or he leaves.
00:05:35
Speaker
And I guess that could be maybe seen as spectrum, right?
00:05:38
Speaker
If they're the social cues.
00:05:39
Speaker
But he...
00:05:41
Speaker
He, I mean, he looks overtly annoyed and unimpressed by their responses.
00:05:47
Speaker
It's not like he looks bored or like he's like trying to figure out like in love on the spectrum.
00:05:52
Speaker
You know, they're always like searching for words and like they're like trying so hard.
00:05:55
Speaker
They want to engage.
00:05:57
Speaker
He doesn't want to engage.
00:05:58
Speaker
He's like.
00:06:00
Speaker
I don't know.
00:06:01
Speaker
He's annoyed.
00:06:01
Speaker
Well, I mean, the fact that you, I mean, you point this out and, and, and, you know, if you've watched the show, then, you know, you've seen in the first couple episodes, which by the way, we're just covering the first couple episodes today on, on this episode.
00:06:12
Speaker
Just one and two.
00:06:13
Speaker
One and two.
00:06:14
Speaker
And you saw him walk out, as you mentioned, in one of these rooms.
00:06:17
Speaker
So I, I get that.
00:06:19
Speaker
Now I'm getting that sense.
00:06:20
Speaker
He was a little irritated.
00:06:22
Speaker
My question too is, and I love AD, love her.
00:06:25
Speaker
She's one of these characters they have in every season who's like very insightful, self-reflective, but also then continues to be drawn to these characters.
00:06:33
Speaker
Yes.
00:06:34
Speaker
So Dr. Greg has watched a little past me, so I'm not going to have him give away what happens because I do have thoughts on Clayton too.
00:06:40
Speaker
I don't dislike him like I dislike Matthew, but I'm like, this girl, I'm just worried for her and I really love her.
00:06:48
Speaker
And I identify with her in a lot of ways too, I think.
00:06:50
Speaker
So maybe that's okay.
00:06:52
Speaker
That's like, I feel like my 20 something year old self, she's 32, but I would like felt very similar to her where there's like a lot of reflect, like you do a lot of reflection and you know, there's a pattern and then you, but you keep just like being drawn to these, these, these assholes.
00:07:08
Speaker
But I was wondering why did Matthew pick her?
00:07:11
Speaker
Cause her response, well, I guess he didn't even get to the list.
00:07:14
Speaker
I wrote that into my notes.
00:07:15
Speaker
He didn't even get to the list before she started talking.
00:07:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:20
Speaker
What was it about her that maybe clicked for his, you know, sort of pathological tendencies in terms of relationships?
00:07:28
Speaker
Because I, from the very beginning, when I watched them talk to one another, it was very difficult to, well, Matthew was Matthew, obviously, but yeah.
00:07:37
Speaker
But it was very difficult to feel.
00:07:39
Speaker
And this is, I mean, I'm guessing other people are experiencing this when they're watching this.
00:07:42
Speaker
Do we feel like an emotional romantic connection spark on the screen?
00:07:49
Speaker
And I never saw that really between the two.
00:07:51
Speaker
And then, and I did write down when she said that,
00:07:56
Speaker
and I really hope this falls in the first couple of episodes, but AD said when she was meeting with Clay that he was like a pistachio to crack.
00:08:08
Speaker
Like, ooh, it's like a game or it's like to crack the pistachio, to crack the nut.
00:08:13
Speaker
So to your point about like, oh, there's work, I'm gonna like help this guy grow up or whatever, which bleh.
00:08:22
Speaker
I know.
00:08:22
Speaker
No.
00:08:24
Speaker
Like this is what I've been saying for hours.
00:08:26
Speaker
It's like, no, no, no.
00:08:27
Speaker
Yo, the standard is high.
00:08:29
Speaker
Let's keep the standard there.
00:08:31
Speaker
Let them do the work outside of relationships.
00:08:34
Speaker
Look for work, yo.
00:08:35
Speaker
Love is hard enough.
00:08:37
Speaker
Pistachios take a lot of work.
00:08:39
Speaker
I love pistachios, but it is a lot of effort.
00:08:42
Speaker
And for what's the reward?
00:08:44
Speaker
What?
00:08:45
Speaker
And we didn't even know, because we don't even know, how could we know what the reward is when we're just meeting someone for the first or second time?
00:08:50
Speaker
Well, okay.
00:08:51
Speaker
And then I wrote this down too, because she says to him at the end of their first date, I say this in quotes, the beginning was a little strange.
00:08:57
Speaker
So there was something in her that saw something, felt something was off.
00:09:03
Speaker
And I wanted to be like, yes, something was strange because he is strange.
00:09:07
Speaker
Yes.
00:09:08
Speaker
I would like to say though, I fell for him, not fell for him.
00:09:12
Speaker
I saw him and obviously I think all the viewers, how he was walking away from women, asking these questions, being an asshole.
00:09:19
Speaker
And then they start developing this relationship.
00:09:22
Speaker
And I was like,
00:09:24
Speaker
wow, Leah, like maybe you should be more open-minded.
00:09:26
Speaker
Like, cause I feel like I go into, because the work that I do is based on a lot of abusive dynamics and like narcissistic abuse and people that are manipulative.
00:09:37
Speaker
And I help people work through that.
00:09:39
Speaker
So I was like,
00:09:41
Speaker
I was then doubting myself.
00:09:42
Speaker
He did this to me.
00:09:43
Speaker
He wasn't even trying.
00:09:44
Speaker
He did it to me.
00:09:45
Speaker
I started second guessing myself.
00:09:46
Speaker
And I was like, wow, look at me being all judgmental and, you know, like putting him in a box where he could be like this pistachio.
00:09:53
Speaker
I don't know.
00:09:54
Speaker
And so then then when it came around an episode, the end of episode one and like two, when he tried to like not even backpedal, he wasn't even backpedaling.
00:10:01
Speaker
He was not denying anything.
00:10:04
Speaker
I was like, he is an asshole.
00:10:05
Speaker
He is like narcissistic or something is not cool about this guy.
00:10:11
Speaker
And I was fooled.
00:10:12
Speaker
And I didn't like that I was fooled for like a second.
00:10:16
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:10:17
Speaker
Well, I mean, I can't say, listen, it makes sense when she started to respond to him, that's probably what got you thinking, oh, maybe there's actually something happening here.
00:10:28
Speaker
Yes.
00:10:28
Speaker
But she was just responding to some like,
00:10:32
Speaker
straw man, some kind of like, cause there was never any closeness or intimacy actually developing and so quickly.
00:10:40
Speaker
And I think this happened in,
00:10:41
Speaker
Episode two, but it so quickly started to become this like meta, all this meta conversation is the way I talk about meta conversation about the relationship.
00:10:52
Speaker
And you're the one because I want to protect you.
00:10:54
Speaker
He would say and all that.
00:10:56
Speaker
And like, what?
00:10:57
Speaker
He said, I would love to give you that moment.
00:11:00
Speaker
I would love to give you that moment of being proposed to a national television.
00:11:05
Speaker
Oh, my God.
00:11:06
Speaker
He's a national television, but that's right.
00:11:09
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:11:09
Speaker
No, I feel like he said in front of America like multiple times, which, by the way, if you're like they're looking to fall in love with somebody like that's probably unless you're histrionic and whatever, like that's probably the last you're not you're trying not to think about the cameras on you.
00:11:26
Speaker
Right.
00:11:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:27
Speaker
Right.
00:11:28
Speaker
Well, that was one of his defense.
00:11:29
Speaker
He's like, how could I be doing the same thing with Amber that I could with you?
00:11:33
Speaker
Because the cameras are recording this.
00:11:36
Speaker
Amber, Amber.
00:11:37
Speaker
Is Amber right?
00:11:38
Speaker
I think so.
00:11:39
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:40
Speaker
The same spiel about him.
00:11:43
Speaker
Like, I'll leave with you.
00:11:44
Speaker
Right.
00:11:44
Speaker
And that's what I was saying.
00:11:45
Speaker
Yes.
00:11:46
Speaker
He kept telling both of them.
00:11:47
Speaker
I'll let you today.
00:11:48
Speaker
Like, he was also feeding them lines.
00:11:50
Speaker
Like, so again, Superman was what put, like, my spidey senses when he compared himself to Superman.
00:11:54
Speaker
And just using this language, like, I'm just a small town guy.
00:11:57
Speaker
Like, did you read a romantic novel before you came here?
00:12:00
Speaker
Like, where did you get, where did you get these lines?
00:12:04
Speaker
Who's feeding you these lines?
00:12:07
Speaker
It was wild.
00:12:08
Speaker
But it's just funny.
00:12:09
Speaker
So when Aidy confronts him, so right, so Aidy finds out that she's essentially received the same lines from him than Amber did.
00:12:19
Speaker
He's like,
00:12:20
Speaker
What I wrote down, he said, some of the things I said to you were much more deep.
00:12:23
Speaker
So he doesn't even deny it.
00:12:25
Speaker
He's just like, I didn't say the thing about calling my mom to her.
00:12:28
Speaker
And I'm like, that doesn't make things any better, bro.
00:12:32
Speaker
What the hell?
00:12:33
Speaker
You're just like digging yourself further down into this pit.
00:12:36
Speaker
Right.
00:12:37
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:12:38
Speaker
And I put an LOL because I was like, basically said there was some variation of the same thing.
00:12:42
Speaker
Like he basically doesn't deny it.
00:12:44
Speaker
And that's like- No remorse.
00:12:45
Speaker
No remorse.
00:12:46
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:47
Speaker
Not one.
00:12:48
Speaker
No fucks.
00:12:49
Speaker
He basically said, I think you want me to tell you this.
00:12:53
Speaker
I think you like you wanted me to give you this moment.
00:12:56
Speaker
He flips it around and she even said he's talking.
00:13:00
Speaker
She said this like it's like talking you into a loop like he just keeps saying things.
00:13:04
Speaker
And she yes, you could tell she's like she's catching on to the bullshit, but she's still like, I do want to have a nice moment, but not like, you know, not for the sake of America, but he's switching it on her.
00:13:15
Speaker
Yeah, well, and she says at one point when she's at the house or whatever and they're all together, that basically he got at her core needs and wants and values.
00:13:27
Speaker
Like he was plugging into that versus actually talking about them, like their actual unique connection, their actual sense of like loving on each other and being hopeful and whatever.
00:13:39
Speaker
It was just all about this like the manipulator.
00:13:42
Speaker
Yeah, master manipulator.
00:13:43
Speaker
You got it.
00:13:44
Speaker
matthew manipulator is what i called him matthew manipulator right i like that i was like thinking as i'm like being you know in this space like what can i use as our first episode title but anyways he's i also and i just wrote these down on my matthew page
00:14:04
Speaker
Yellow flags.
00:14:05
Speaker
I wrote down for yellow flags because I like to talk to people about yellow flags versus red flags.
00:14:09
Speaker
Because yellow flags are like something maybe doesn't like, I don't resonate with this or something seems off, but I need to like maybe explore further.
00:14:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:14:17
Speaker
So Superman, I thought like just again, referencing himself as Superman, some grandiosity, right?
00:14:24
Speaker
Small town guy, again, another like
00:14:27
Speaker
romantic novel reference that I feel like he literally was like, what do women like to hear?
00:14:31
Speaker
They like to hear that you're from a small town and you played on dirt bikes as a kid.
00:14:34
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:14:36
Speaker
It's like chat AI or whatever.
00:14:38
Speaker
Right, right, right.
00:14:41
Speaker
He wrote it for him.
00:14:42
Speaker
I know.
00:14:42
Speaker
I literally think the entire thing he asked AI to write for him.
00:14:45
Speaker
Maybe on his list of questions, he had these lines too.
00:14:48
Speaker
He's like, these are the lines I use.
00:14:49
Speaker
I think that's possible actually.
00:14:51
Speaker
Okay.
00:14:51
Speaker
He's also a loner and that's a sign too, right?
00:14:54
Speaker
Like he wasn't
00:14:57
Speaker
getting comfortable with any of the other guys.
00:15:00
Speaker
No.
00:15:01
Speaker
Like, you could tell he did not want anything to do with any of them.
00:15:04
Speaker
Yes.
00:15:06
Speaker
And he looked just better.
00:15:08
Speaker
You could tell that there was like a feeling of superiority to these guys.
00:15:12
Speaker
Like there was a disdain for their normalcy.
00:15:16
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:15:17
Speaker
For their non-superhuman, you know, masculine, whatever it is that he thinks he is.
00:15:22
Speaker
I don't actually know.
00:15:24
Speaker
It didn't seem to me that he had a fully fleshed out concept of himself, to be honest, but who knows?
00:15:31
Speaker
I don't think he does either.
00:15:32
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:35
Speaker
Oh, another thing he said, again, these are my yellow flags.
00:15:39
Speaker
The other yellow flag was a 15 question list.
00:15:41
Speaker
The only reason I said it was yellow flag because it felt, it could be spectrum-y, I agree.
00:15:46
Speaker
The scripts, yeah.
00:15:48
Speaker
The scripts, exactly.
00:15:50
Speaker
Because you do that with coaching and changing your behaviors and trying to learn social cues.
00:15:55
Speaker
But it's when he would want to dictate the conversations and it felt very...
00:16:01
Speaker
authoritative versus like trying super hard to like get like to, it felt different than spectrum.
00:16:08
Speaker
Well, yeah.
00:16:08
Speaker
And there was no, I mean, the, the hallmark of a healthy love is some kind of reciprocity, mutual influence, even in a conversation.
00:16:17
Speaker
Like how does the conversation flow?
00:16:20
Speaker
And if somebody asks you, you're listening to this right now and you're on a date with somebody and they, they say, no, I'm not answering that.
00:16:28
Speaker
Or like, no, I'm not answering questions or what I like.
00:16:31
Speaker
What like what is that clearly tells you that this is like a power, some kind of power thing going on here.
00:16:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:38
Speaker
Power dynamic.
00:16:39
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:16:40
Speaker
That's exactly.
00:16:41
Speaker
Yeah, that's exactly what I thought, too.
00:16:45
Speaker
Okay, so those are my yellow flags.
00:16:46
Speaker
My red flags I put, well, this is kind of mansplaining things.
00:16:50
Speaker
Like I said, he was like, you know, you want this from the show.
00:16:54
Speaker
Like, this is what you want.
00:16:55
Speaker
This is how you thought it would turn out.
00:16:58
Speaker
And now it's not.
00:16:59
Speaker
And now you're upset, like kind of trying to tell her how she was feeling or explain what she was going through.
00:17:04
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely.
00:17:05
Speaker
It's like he's designing, he's trying to incept a reality for that to experience versus like what I'm feeling, what we're feeling together.
00:17:16
Speaker
Right.
00:17:16
Speaker
Exactly.
00:17:17
Speaker
I put, he said, this is what I put, I couldn't tell if it's a yellow flag or red flag.
00:17:22
Speaker
Because I do think some things in a couple, like in a coupleship or partnership, you have to keep between you or like it's private or it's, you know, an intimate moment that you don't share with everyone.
00:17:30
Speaker
But he says, he said this to AD after he told her, let's leave together.
00:17:34
Speaker
Are you going to tell anyone what I told you today?
00:17:36
Speaker
And that now that we're viewers and seeing, he didn't want anyone talking.
00:17:43
Speaker
And she's like, I don't know.
00:17:44
Speaker
I'm just going to keep it to myself and let it simmer.
00:17:45
Speaker
And I was like, oh, fucker, this guy.
00:17:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:48
Speaker
That's the only way the manipulation works is if there are secrets and we're not talking and nobody knows what I'm doing right now.
00:17:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:56
Speaker
I was like, did he ask Amber that?
00:17:57
Speaker
Because I wonder if he asked Amber and she's like, I'm going to tell everyone.
00:18:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:05
Speaker
And he's like, okay, that chick's going to go.
00:18:07
Speaker
I can't control that one.
00:18:10
Speaker
Let's focus on AD.
00:18:11
Speaker
And that's what narcissistic abuse is, right?
00:18:13
Speaker
Like, it's like, if one person can't, can't, you know, perform these roles that you are requesting of them to perform, then you're going to look for someone else who can fulfill that need or give you resources or whatever.
00:18:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:26
Speaker
Okay.
00:18:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:28
Speaker
Another, okay, rehearsal of lines.
00:18:29
Speaker
I think those are red flags that we said, like he used the same exact lines between AD and Amber.
00:18:33
Speaker
Again, he walks out on the woman, which is a red flag.
00:18:36
Speaker
I don't think it's a sign of autism spectrum.
00:18:39
Speaker
And then I think those are my red flags.
00:18:41
Speaker
And then again, like when he was gaslighting AD and also saying not no remorse, I put that as a red flag, like no, no empathy or being like, yeah, that probably doesn't feel good to know that I said the same things to you as I did this other person.
00:18:55
Speaker
Like none of that.
00:18:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:58
Speaker
And it's so outside of like defensiveness, that's like a precursor to that just, you know, not even going there in the first place.
00:19:05
Speaker
There was this, so in high school, when I was like talking to someone, just reminding me of this moment, because it felt very high school.
00:19:12
Speaker
This guy was, I was like talking to, not like, it was also talking to someone else.
00:19:16
Speaker
And I remember like kind of just asking him about it.
00:19:18
Speaker
He's like, or he was like, Leah, you're a wifey.
00:19:24
Speaker
She's not.
00:19:25
Speaker
Like, that was the only explanation I needed.
00:19:27
Speaker
You're special in this way.
00:19:29
Speaker
So it doesn't matter that I'm talking.
00:19:34
Speaker
At 16, that can be kind of, like, not permissible, but you're like, all right, there's, like, a lack of maturity.
00:19:38
Speaker
I'm like, this guy is, like, 30-whatever.
00:19:41
Speaker
There's no excuse.
00:19:42
Speaker
No excuse.
00:19:44
Speaker
Yeah.
Chemistry and Authenticity in Relationships
00:19:45
Speaker
I'm sorry I did that.
00:19:46
Speaker
I messed up.
00:19:47
Speaker
I know.
00:19:48
Speaker
I'm really into you or something.
00:19:49
Speaker
Something.
00:19:49
Speaker
Some acknowledgement of his responsibility, some ownership, right?
00:19:54
Speaker
He's like, I'm not giving you an ultimatum, but if you're not willing to leave with me right now,
00:19:59
Speaker
We're done.
00:20:00
Speaker
Oh, gosh.
00:20:01
Speaker
Red flags all over the place on Matthew.
00:20:03
Speaker
Do you have anything you want to add to our Matthew?
00:20:06
Speaker
No.
00:20:07
Speaker
I think I hit all the things I wanted to say about Matthew.
00:20:10
Speaker
I hope we never have to see him again, but you might not know more than I do right now.
00:20:14
Speaker
And I just hope this is my poker face.
00:20:16
Speaker
I'm not.
00:20:17
Speaker
Yes.
00:20:18
Speaker
I'm not going to say a peep.
00:20:20
Speaker
Okay.
00:20:20
Speaker
Our other couples and love triangles.
00:20:22
Speaker
I have Jimmy and Jess.
00:20:24
Speaker
Jimmy is a 27 year old.
00:20:26
Speaker
Jess is 28.
00:20:27
Speaker
Jess has the kid, the 10 year old.
00:20:30
Speaker
I don't know what either of them do.
00:20:32
Speaker
I think Jimmy did some computer thing.
00:20:34
Speaker
I don't know what Jess is.
00:20:34
Speaker
Chelsea's a flight attendant.
00:20:36
Speaker
So I'm curious your thoughts on, and you've know now what happens, but as far as chemistry goes, I felt like Jimmy and Jess had this deeper connection.
00:20:47
Speaker
Like it's pretty clear, like both chemistry and
00:20:52
Speaker
I'm smirking over here.
00:20:53
Speaker
This is not a good poker face, Dr. Greg.
00:20:59
Speaker
I'm smirking over here, Leah, because I'm thinking about just, I'm just thinking about the entire cast, if I may.
00:21:04
Speaker
First of all, I don't want to let the cat out of the bag here on my bias.
00:21:08
Speaker
All right.
00:21:09
Speaker
Okay.
00:21:09
Speaker
But my bias is that like sexual attraction is core to the beginning of any
00:21:16
Speaker
long healthy love sexual attraction i know and and i you know people you know contest that and it can develop later and all this other shit but no i my position general is that so when i saw the two of them and i saw jess jess clearly was the most attractive woman to me of the entire cast oh oh yeah 100 but they can't see just about i i i understand that and she and you know
00:21:43
Speaker
They can't see Jess.
00:21:45
Speaker
I'm just telling you who I thought the hottest person.
00:21:47
Speaker
We should probably... This is Dr. Great's personal opinion.
00:21:50
Speaker
He's not speaking... No, no, no.
00:21:52
Speaker
This is his personal preference.
00:21:54
Speaker
Okay, go on.
00:21:55
Speaker
No, she's beautiful.
00:21:55
Speaker
She's beautiful.
00:21:56
Speaker
She's beautiful.
00:21:57
Speaker
And the chemistry between the two of them was obvious to that point that they were flirty and it was sort of juicy, the conversation.
00:22:06
Speaker
It was sort of... I don't know.
00:22:08
Speaker
It was very... There was a vibe.
00:22:09
Speaker
The connection was very clear.
00:22:11
Speaker
And then we have...
00:22:13
Speaker
Chelsea.
00:22:17
Speaker
She's part of this love triangle, right?
00:22:21
Speaker
She's the flight attendant, the 30-year-old flight attendant.
00:22:23
Speaker
From LA, but has a Southern accent.
00:22:25
Speaker
Did you notice that?
00:22:26
Speaker
What's that about?
00:22:27
Speaker
Is she just faking it?
00:22:28
Speaker
I don't know.
00:22:29
Speaker
I mean, when I first moved here, I tried a Southern accent and then it pulled up.
00:22:34
Speaker
I couldn't pull it off.
00:22:35
Speaker
But no, she, listen, talking about attraction and whatnot, which I think is going to be an important point on this couple.
00:22:44
Speaker
she described herself.
00:22:46
Speaker
I think this happened in the first couple episodes.
00:22:48
Speaker
She, when he asked her, did you, did you?
00:22:51
Speaker
So you're thinking, so Trevor asked her, she's, oh, no, you're right.
00:22:54
Speaker
No, no, no, you're right.
00:22:55
Speaker
Jimmy asked her and she said she looks like Megan Fox.
00:22:57
Speaker
Is that what you're saying?
00:22:58
Speaker
Yes, this is what I'm going to go for.
00:22:59
Speaker
Okay, sorry, okay.
00:23:00
Speaker
Yeah, so she's like, he was interested.
00:23:03
Speaker
How do you describe yourself?
00:23:04
Speaker
And by the way, this came up a few times in the episodes.
00:23:08
Speaker
Do you think he was fishing?
00:23:10
Speaker
He was fishing because he wanted to know.
00:23:13
Speaker
He was starting to feel something, but I'm guessing he didn't feel the same kind of sexual chemistry that he did with Jess.
00:23:20
Speaker
And so he asked about that because he never asked Jess what she looked like.
00:23:23
Speaker
You're right.
00:23:23
Speaker
He didn't.
00:23:24
Speaker
Because he felt something in his body that told him.
00:23:27
Speaker
Okay.
00:23:28
Speaker
Okay.
00:23:28
Speaker
And he would have been accurate if he had.
00:23:32
Speaker
So bottom line is-
00:23:35
Speaker
She does not look like Megan Fox.
00:23:36
Speaker
All right.
00:23:38
Speaker
That's not what she looks like.
00:23:39
Speaker
I agree.
00:23:43
Speaker
Also, then myself, I'm like, well, if I saw her in a plane, would I think she looks like Megan Fox?
00:23:48
Speaker
Like I
Dating Dynamics as a Parent
00:23:49
Speaker
was trying to figure out like, no, probably not.
00:23:51
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:52
Speaker
So I don't like that she said that, to be honest with you, because I think I thought it was a little misleading.
00:23:57
Speaker
You know why?
00:23:58
Speaker
Because if you've ever fallen in love, if anybody has ever listened to this and like you're like have a pen pal or whatever it is.
00:24:06
Speaker
If you don't know the person looks like in your imagination goes to that place of like, and if Megan Fox is on your mind, oh yeah.
00:24:13
Speaker
Like that's a variable.
00:24:14
Speaker
Like that's an independent variable we need to measure.
00:24:17
Speaker
That's a good research mind.
00:24:20
Speaker
I agree.
00:24:20
Speaker
Well, and I was, so it's interesting to say the sexual chemistry.
00:24:23
Speaker
So there's clearly definitely more chemistry in general between Jimmy and Jess, but I was going to say that's, you know, it's all love is blind, but you're right.
00:24:30
Speaker
It was more sexual chemistry.
00:24:32
Speaker
Is that love or is that sexual chemistry?
00:24:34
Speaker
And that felt more.
00:24:35
Speaker
sexual.
00:24:36
Speaker
Well, I would say a fierce, healthy love is a very, unless you're asexual and that's, that's okay too.
00:24:43
Speaker
But a fierce, healthy love is, is a fierce love.
00:24:47
Speaker
Like it's a sexual intimacy and emotional intimacy.
00:24:49
Speaker
It's all the things we want.
00:24:51
Speaker
All the things we want.
00:24:52
Speaker
All the
00:24:52
Speaker
I also love her.
00:24:53
Speaker
I didn't- Which one?
00:24:55
Speaker
Which one?
00:24:56
Speaker
Jess.
00:24:56
Speaker
Jess.
00:24:57
Speaker
I loved her.
00:24:57
Speaker
I love her and her story and her daughter.
00:24:59
Speaker
Initially, it felt a little performative, but I think, again, it's producers, right?
00:25:04
Speaker
Because when Nick Lachey and Vanessa Lachey walk in, the hosts, also, there's a lot of controversy.
00:25:10
Speaker
Nobody likes them.
00:25:11
Speaker
But I didn't think they're less of a presence.
00:25:15
Speaker
It's funny each season now because nobody likes them.
00:25:18
Speaker
But-
00:25:19
Speaker
I thought I think it's definitely was producers because I'm sure they ask more people.
00:25:23
Speaker
Why are you here?
00:25:24
Speaker
You know, and then they went to her and she goes like, I have a daughter and she got tearful.
00:25:28
Speaker
And I was going to ask you this, actually.
00:25:29
Speaker
This is a question I wrote down is do you share to share or not to share that she's a mom?
00:25:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:35
Speaker
Okay.
00:25:35
Speaker
So the first date I've ever gone, this is a personal story, but also my professional opinion.
00:25:42
Speaker
Oh, okay.
00:25:43
Speaker
The first date I've ever gone on with a mom was this past year.
00:25:46
Speaker
And all the conversation up to the actual first day, nothing, there was lots of conversation, connection, no mention that she had a child until the first date.
00:25:58
Speaker
But it happened on the first date, like in the first 10 minutes.
00:26:01
Speaker
Okay.
00:26:02
Speaker
And so my opinion is-
00:26:04
Speaker
It has to come up on the first date.
00:26:06
Speaker
Like it absolutely has to come up on the first date.
00:26:09
Speaker
And I don't
Intentionality and Respect in Dating
00:26:10
Speaker
like that.
00:26:10
Speaker
She, I think she might've gone on at least two dates, if not three, if she was on the third date.
00:26:16
Speaker
Justin.
00:26:17
Speaker
Justin.
00:26:18
Speaker
Before, no, before.
00:26:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:20
Speaker
Jess and Jimmy, before she disclosed that she was a mom to him.
00:26:25
Speaker
Would you, would you have, in your own personal situation, would you have liked to know before the first date?
00:26:32
Speaker
I, well, I, listen, particularly I'm a middle-aged man and,
00:26:37
Speaker
you know, who understands what he wants and all the other things, which we hope all of our listeners, you know, are as close to that as possible.
00:26:44
Speaker
So what do I mean by that?
00:26:45
Speaker
I mean, like, if you're connecting with someone, I would rather be with someone who is like so fucking excited about the fact that they're a mom, that they're like, oh yeah, like Tommy, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:26:54
Speaker
And the first initial conversations that you have with somebody.
00:26:56
Speaker
That's a good point.
00:26:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:57
Speaker
Enthusiastic about their parents.
00:26:58
Speaker
I don't want somebody like, because then I'm like, wait, hold on a second.
00:27:02
Speaker
Oh, she has the capacity or inclination to have something or some reality that she's not sharing.
00:27:09
Speaker
That's my take on it.
00:27:10
Speaker
And yours?
00:27:13
Speaker
I actually don't have a strong stance of if someone, well, previously when I was dating, when someone had a kid or not.
00:27:18
Speaker
But I was going to say, when they don't tell me, it feels like a secret.
00:27:21
Speaker
It does feel...
00:27:24
Speaker
a little manipulative.
00:27:26
Speaker
There was one person too actually back, like this was a few years ago where they were married in an open relationship.
00:27:32
Speaker
This was not included on their dating profile.
00:27:34
Speaker
I'm okay with someone being polyamorous or practicing ethical non-monogamy, not for me.
00:27:39
Speaker
But that wasn't included.
00:27:40
Speaker
Their kids were not included.
00:27:42
Speaker
We did a video time.
00:27:43
Speaker
And I remember them telling me all of this, which is good.
00:27:46
Speaker
This is why I used to do video chats because it helped me weed out, right?
00:27:50
Speaker
But I remember telling them and I was pretty honest.
00:27:51
Speaker
I told them, I was like, you know, you should include this on your profile.
00:27:54
Speaker
Sure.
00:27:55
Speaker
Like both of these things are kind of important, especially if people are looking for like long term connection.
00:28:01
Speaker
If it's casual, I get it.
00:28:03
Speaker
I do get it.
00:28:04
Speaker
I also still think if it's casual, you still have every right to know what you're getting involved with.
00:28:08
Speaker
But I was and it's funny, he kind of and he was a therapist.
00:28:12
Speaker
How freaking wild is that?
00:28:14
Speaker
uh they don't create us all equal ladies and gentlemen they do not and there's some really yeah i mean that's true but it was funny because i just felt like if that had been probably not the poly thing but if he had kids and was upfront about it i would have been cool and open to getting to know him but the everything being left out felt really shady
00:28:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:37
Speaker
Oh, absolutely.
00:28:37
Speaker
So if you're listening to this and you're not disclosing big pieces of information like that, update your profile today.
00:28:43
Speaker
Make sure it's on there because the data is clear that most people are seeking long-term relationships on the dating apps.
Clayton's Growth and Reactions
00:28:50
Speaker
So just go there.
00:28:51
Speaker
Just care.
00:28:52
Speaker
Be transparent.
00:28:53
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely.
00:28:54
Speaker
Do you include this in one of your posts recently?
00:28:57
Speaker
Yes, I wrote about it in Psychology Today recently that most people on the dating apps are interested in long-term relationships.
00:29:06
Speaker
And so, yeah, so we should just
00:29:08
Speaker
be inclined to communicate all those things upfront, ladies and gentlemen, especially because there's so many people out there we could be dating.
00:29:16
Speaker
Let's be intentional.
00:29:17
Speaker
And if you haven't, if you missed that episode of a better lab with Dr. Gregg and Leah, make sure you watch it.
00:29:23
Speaker
Season three, we'll link that to intentional dating.
00:29:27
Speaker
I was going to say this too.
00:29:28
Speaker
And I had talked to, I think you and I may have talked about this, but I talk about this with clients who are saying they're, you know, they're not really sure if they want something serious, but they're open to it.
00:29:36
Speaker
Or maybe like they're open to something progressing.
00:29:38
Speaker
I tell them you still have to be intentional and you still deserve respect.
00:29:42
Speaker
And I think there's something in our culture that's like, if it's casual, you don't need to be like a standup person.
00:29:52
Speaker
Like you can be shady and rude and ghost and,
00:29:58
Speaker
and flaky and just an asshole if you're and this goes for all genders i'm not saying just men but like there's this weird culture and like the casual dating scene and i'm like you still need to feel respected because that's how you're going to actually have the most pleasure too and feel the safest right um so i talked to a lot of clients about that too because i feel like we kind of like put long-term meaningful relationship in one box casual another but they both deserve to be mutually respectful
00:30:25
Speaker
They're all human relationships.
00:30:27
Speaker
So we should be gentle and kind with each other from the very beginning.
00:30:31
Speaker
I agree.
00:30:32
Speaker
All right.
00:30:32
Speaker
I have a question for you.
00:30:33
Speaker
Now you probably already know where this couple ends up or not.
00:30:39
Speaker
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait
00:30:50
Speaker
I'm all on board with Clay.
00:30:51
Speaker
You're team Clay.
00:30:52
Speaker
I'm team Clay right now.
00:30:54
Speaker
He was in the first couple of episodes.
00:30:58
Speaker
Oh, so he makes it.
00:30:59
Speaker
Thank you.
00:31:00
Speaker
Oh, no.
00:31:01
Speaker
It's okay.
00:31:02
Speaker
It's okay.
00:31:03
Speaker
I knew he would.
00:31:04
Speaker
It's okay.
00:31:04
Speaker
Spoiler.
00:31:05
Speaker
Okay.
00:31:07
Speaker
It's okay.
00:31:10
Speaker
I knew, you know, it's going to go that way.
00:31:12
Speaker
You know, it's going to go that way.
00:31:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:13
Speaker
But anyway, he did describe himself.
00:31:16
Speaker
So I don't like the fact that he described himself as a ladies man.
00:31:19
Speaker
I think that's like, why would you, first of all, why would you say that?
00:31:22
Speaker
Lead with that.
00:31:23
Speaker
Why would you lead with that image?
00:31:26
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:31:27
Speaker
But also it, it suggests that he's not shady, right?
00:31:30
Speaker
Like Michael probably, if he thought he was a lady, you know, he might not say it because he didn't want to give off that he was a manipulator.
00:31:37
Speaker
Not that someone who's successful with women is necessarily manipulative.
00:31:42
Speaker
That's a good point.
00:31:43
Speaker
It's worth clarifying.
00:31:46
Speaker
But what are your thoughts on him?
00:31:48
Speaker
And I'll respond to that.
00:31:50
Speaker
Let's go there.
00:31:50
Speaker
I actually liked him initially.
00:31:52
Speaker
I think the part that worries me, because I know they'll probably end up together, like long-term, I don't know.
00:31:58
Speaker
I didn't love his reaction because they're in this experiment and they're in this process where they're dating multiple people.
00:32:06
Speaker
Emotions are high.
00:32:07
Speaker
Like, I don't think it's great to talk about like past relationships or if you're dating multiple people, you know, share one relationship with someone else that you're seeing.
00:32:16
Speaker
I don't think that's appropriate.
00:32:17
Speaker
I agree.
00:32:18
Speaker
However, in this scenario,
00:32:21
Speaker
I felt that it was very appropriate for AD to share what was going on.
00:32:25
Speaker
You don't agree.
00:32:26
Speaker
Interesting.
00:32:27
Speaker
Wait, no, no.
00:32:27
Speaker
Say it.
00:32:28
Speaker
No, no.
00:32:28
Speaker
I can't.
00:32:28
Speaker
Go, go, go, go there.
00:32:29
Speaker
So I was thinking...
00:32:32
Speaker
I liked that she was just saying, hey, I'm in like this emotional place right now.
00:32:36
Speaker
And like, this is where I'm coming from.
00:32:38
Speaker
And because if, because she couldn't be probably as present or as receptive or whatever, coming from fucking Matthew to.
00:32:48
Speaker
Not literally, ladies and gentlemen.
00:32:50
Speaker
Not fucking Matthew.
00:32:51
Speaker
Yes.
00:32:52
Speaker
Right.
00:32:52
Speaker
But I, good to clarify, but I was going to say, I didn't love
00:32:57
Speaker
his Clayton's response, it felt very aggro.
00:33:00
Speaker
It felt very insecure.
00:33:03
Speaker
It felt, and he took accountability.
00:33:05
Speaker
He did take accountability after and was like, hey, I like reacted and that wasn't cool.
00:33:09
Speaker
And he did, I appreciated that.
00:33:11
Speaker
That's how I, I watched the beginning of episode three.
00:33:13
Speaker
That's how I know.
00:33:13
Speaker
So they, I know it was resolved, but I still, that to me gave me yellow flags.
00:33:18
Speaker
And I think it's probably cultural.
00:33:20
Speaker
It's probably like, again, like he was talking about his dad and his dad's masculinity, right?
00:33:24
Speaker
Like there are things,
00:33:27
Speaker
that he embossed, and he talks about being a ladies man.
00:33:29
Speaker
So there's probably this persona he's created within himself to cope probably with insecurities as lots of people do.
00:33:35
Speaker
We have these personas, but I really didn't like that response.
00:33:39
Speaker
And he laughed.
00:33:40
Speaker
He's like, fucking Matthew.
00:33:41
Speaker
Like, I get it.
00:33:42
Speaker
It would be one thing if he's like, hey,
00:33:45
Speaker
Matthew's a weird guy.
00:33:48
Speaker
Like I'm- From a caring place, yes.
00:33:49
Speaker
From a caring place.
00:33:51
Speaker
And he was just, his ego was so bruised.
00:33:52
Speaker
And I get it.
00:33:53
Speaker
Like that would, I don't think I'd like someone to share something like- I don't want to hear anything about if we're dating multiple, I don't want to hear about that person.
00:34:00
Speaker
Okay.
00:34:01
Speaker
And you know, if it's me that you're going to choose, then you're
Performative Behaviors vs Genuine Connections
00:34:04
Speaker
going to choose me.
00:34:04
Speaker
And I think that probably that would be just a smart strategy in life.
00:34:09
Speaker
Yes.
00:34:10
Speaker
But I think this is not a normal dating.
00:34:12
Speaker
Yeah, that's true.
00:34:13
Speaker
But this is not a normal dating.
00:34:14
Speaker
I think I agree with you in the normal dating sense.
00:34:17
Speaker
That's not appropriate.
00:34:18
Speaker
But I think even if you're dating multiple people, that's normal, right?
00:34:21
Speaker
When you're single, you're trying to figure it out, but not you don't disclose what's going on in one day to another day.
00:34:27
Speaker
I agree.
00:34:27
Speaker
But I don't think this is a normal situation.
00:34:29
Speaker
I get worried about like.
00:34:31
Speaker
her.
00:34:32
Speaker
I don't know.
00:34:32
Speaker
Like if I don't know, he just there's something insecure about him and you've seen more now and I don't.
00:34:38
Speaker
And but you're still team Clayton.
00:34:39
Speaker
So that gives me a little bit of hope.
00:34:41
Speaker
Yeah, because in general, I would be worried it would be a yellow flag.
00:34:47
Speaker
Because you would imagine that at the very beginning of a relationship, even in the context of this show, that people are going to be putting their real, like bringing the most amount of patience, the most amount of understanding, the most leeway in these conversations and being the most sort of vulnerable and to have that kind of response, to be reactive in any way, to be honest with you.
00:35:07
Speaker
Right.
00:35:08
Speaker
So early on is a concern.
00:35:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:11
Speaker
But bottom line,
00:35:13
Speaker
Also showing that you can come back, you can own things, you have insight and that.
00:35:17
Speaker
And then, you know, the time to show up consistently.
00:35:20
Speaker
So we'll see what happens.
00:35:22
Speaker
Did you believe his tears while he was having that conversation with his friend were real?
00:35:25
Speaker
Oh my God, did he cry?
00:35:28
Speaker
I don't remember that.
00:35:29
Speaker
Because he flew through those episodes.
00:35:31
Speaker
Yeah, he did.
00:35:31
Speaker
And I do – it's not that I think they were crocodile tears.
00:35:35
Speaker
I think – I don't know.
00:35:36
Speaker
I was like, was he now feeling – I felt more he was, like, realizing he was an asshole and, like, there was an embarrassment.
00:35:41
Speaker
Maybe he, like, he turned it – like, he turned it on.
00:35:46
Speaker
He was trying to, like, kind of, like, create this, like –
00:35:48
Speaker
I don't know.
00:35:49
Speaker
I don't know.
00:35:50
Speaker
I suck at crying on demand.
00:35:52
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:35:52
Speaker
I cry all the time, but it can't cry on demand.
00:35:55
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:35:56
Speaker
I don't know.
00:35:56
Speaker
I don't know.
00:35:57
Speaker
He doesn't strike me as someone that could pull that off, to be honest with you.
00:36:00
Speaker
I don't think so.
00:36:01
Speaker
But I think too, I don't know.
00:36:03
Speaker
So, well, I'm glad he starts to-
00:36:05
Speaker
to change it around.
00:36:06
Speaker
Because I did like that I took accountability.
00:36:08
Speaker
If he didn't, I would be – I still – I guess what I also wrote down in my notes is like the devil you know versus the devil you don't.
00:36:14
Speaker
And the thing about this show, and you're new to it, right?
00:36:17
Speaker
But like oftentimes in this show, they were rejected by one person or it didn't work out with one person.
00:36:24
Speaker
So then they go with their second option to be engaged in.
00:36:27
Speaker
And so that's what I worry about with her.
00:36:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:30
Speaker
Because I think like also Clayton probably seems like a like a gem after frickin Matthew.
00:36:36
Speaker
So part of me was like there's the show creates kind of this need to pursue and to make it happen.
00:36:44
Speaker
Yeah, which is not going to be in the outside world.
00:36:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:48
Speaker
Right.
00:36:49
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:36:49
Speaker
We'll learn more about the outside world.
00:36:51
Speaker
Okay.
00:36:51
Speaker
So the other couple, kind of couple, and now I feel like it doesn't matter, Trevor, the mullet guy, and Chelsea.
00:36:59
Speaker
Trevor and Chelsea.
00:37:02
Speaker
You're like, I don't.
00:37:03
Speaker
Where does, where does, where did it leave off for you?
00:37:05
Speaker
So Trevor left off with telling her he has a mullet and she was into it.
00:37:13
Speaker
I also have a hot take on Chelsea besides her saying she's Megan Fox.
00:37:17
Speaker
She laughs at everything.
00:37:18
Speaker
And I feel like she's one of those people that will laugh.
00:37:21
Speaker
She said this, I want to find a guy who doesn't just like watch the game while I'm there.
00:37:26
Speaker
And I feel like she's that girl that kind of thinks she has to perform, like has to laugh at the jokes, like be overly enthusiastic, kind of like put on this facade.
00:37:35
Speaker
And I really actually liked her in a lot of ways, but I was like, she has some work to do.
00:37:39
Speaker
She needs to chill out.
00:37:40
Speaker
She needs to take a breath.
00:37:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:37:42
Speaker
Because the mullet guy-
00:37:46
Speaker
Trevor.
00:37:46
Speaker
You said, I hear you.
00:37:47
Speaker
What's his name?
00:37:49
Speaker
Trevor.
00:37:49
Speaker
Trevor.
00:37:50
Speaker
Trevor.
00:37:50
Speaker
But I put slash mullet guy, Jim Ratt.
00:37:55
Speaker
Not to generalize.
00:37:56
Speaker
No, no, not to at all, actually.
00:37:58
Speaker
But no, he said that he heard her laugh more than speak.
00:38:02
Speaker
And also for him, I think that should have been a concern.
00:38:07
Speaker
Just like, okay, I like that you're giggling at the things I say.
00:38:11
Speaker
Like, I like that.
00:38:11
Speaker
It feels connecting.
00:38:12
Speaker
But like, what are you thinking over there?
00:38:14
Speaker
Like, like me beyond my mullet?
00:38:17
Speaker
Like, what's going on?
00:38:18
Speaker
He's like, no.
00:38:19
Speaker
He's like, I've never had this problem where someone wants me for my bullet.
00:38:22
Speaker
He's like, it's always the opposite.
00:38:26
Speaker
I actually, he grew on me.
00:38:27
Speaker
You know, it's funny.
00:38:27
Speaker
Like I was like, oh, this bro.
00:38:29
Speaker
And then he just seemed like, I just liked him interacting with like the guys.
00:38:32
Speaker
And I'm like, oh, this guy's a nice guy.
00:38:33
Speaker
I hope he finds love.
00:38:34
Speaker
Gentle giant.
00:38:36
Speaker
Gentle giant.
00:38:36
Speaker
Gentle giant.
00:38:37
Speaker
Exactly.
00:38:38
Speaker
Okay.
00:38:40
Speaker
The last couple in, well, this episode one, I have, well, I think we have a couple more, but Johnny and Amy,
00:38:46
Speaker
So Johnny, a quick reminder, is the 27-year-old piece of strawberry blonde hair with the Latina woman who's very sweet and loves her brother, who is on the spectrum.
Wholesome Relationships: Kenneth and Brittany
00:39:00
Speaker
Oh, okay.
00:39:00
Speaker
See, I'm thinking about it, but not listening closely enough, apparently.
00:39:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:09
Speaker
Listen, he seems like such a goofball to me.
00:39:13
Speaker
Oh, really?
00:39:14
Speaker
I love him.
00:39:15
Speaker
Like just a softie, kind of like a-
00:39:17
Speaker
Just a gentle dude who is going to be expressive and all the good things.
00:39:24
Speaker
So he seems very well adjusted from the very beginning.
00:39:28
Speaker
I agree.
00:39:28
Speaker
I mean, that's why I didn't write anything down about this.
00:39:32
Speaker
They just seem relatively high functioning.
00:39:35
Speaker
They do.
00:39:36
Speaker
They just seem very honest and themselves with each other.
00:39:39
Speaker
I wrote down my notes were love them and real depth.
00:39:44
Speaker
It was beyond the surface.
00:39:46
Speaker
Like I think a lot of these couples are just like you said, giggling and like laughing.
00:39:49
Speaker
And then they had these conversations.
00:39:51
Speaker
They also laughed, but like it was a lot of very like deep, meaningful conversations, which...
00:39:57
Speaker
I thought was like great.
00:40:00
Speaker
I think that's it for all of our couples.
00:40:03
Speaker
Oh, Kenneth and Brittany is the other one.
00:40:05
Speaker
The last one that.
00:40:06
Speaker
And Brittany, Kenneth is the principal.
00:40:10
Speaker
Tall principal.
00:40:10
Speaker
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:40:14
Speaker
And.
00:40:15
Speaker
Hmm.
00:40:17
Speaker
And then she's the principal or she's a teacher and she, they both are strong in their faith is what I wrote down.
00:40:23
Speaker
Both spiritual strong in their faith.
00:40:25
Speaker
They're both of their parents pastoring childhood.
00:40:28
Speaker
And I feel like they're very, like they're looking, they're very aligned in what they want.
00:40:34
Speaker
Yes.
00:40:35
Speaker
There's a wholesomeness about them.
00:40:37
Speaker
That's the word that comes to mind.
00:40:39
Speaker
Yes.
00:40:40
Speaker
They're very wholesome, almost like brother and sister.
00:40:43
Speaker
I mean, it's like, I don't see any sexual chemistry between those two people from the first two episodes.
Conclusion: Production Choices and Relationship Portrayal
00:40:51
Speaker
I'm not seeing that at all.
00:40:52
Speaker
You?
00:40:54
Speaker
No, but I was going to – no, I'm not.
00:40:55
Speaker
I think the thing is too though, we only see – they like highlight – it's a lot of production.
00:41:01
Speaker
So I'm curious.
00:41:02
Speaker
But now you've seen the other four.
00:41:04
Speaker
So maybe you know if there is or is not more chemistry.
00:41:08
Speaker
I don't know.
00:41:09
Speaker
I think I'm like on paper, they probably look really good to each other.
00:41:12
Speaker
Like they check all the boxes on paper.
00:41:14
Speaker
They share the same values.
00:41:15
Speaker
They are more in traditional gender roles.
00:41:18
Speaker
Because they tell clients too, I'm not anti-traditional gender roles if both people want that.
00:41:22
Speaker
That's fair.
00:41:23
Speaker
But they're both very aligned in that.
00:41:25
Speaker
And so I don't know.
00:41:28
Speaker
We'll see.
00:41:28
Speaker
I'm not blown away by either of them.
00:41:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:41:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:41:33
Speaker
I don't know.
00:41:33
Speaker
That's also why I didn't write any notes on something either, but I'll do better next time.
00:41:39
Speaker
Okay, this is the thing about Love is Blind is when we don't see much, it's because they're generally healthy and functional is what I'm gathering from production.
00:41:50
Speaker
Because we don't want to see their conversations of like,
00:41:54
Speaker
I don't know that aren't full of your favorite ice cream or right.
00:41:58
Speaker
Right.
00:41:59
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:00
Speaker
So this was fun.
00:42:01
Speaker
I'm excited for episode three through six with you.
00:42:04
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:42:06
Speaker
We're going to, you're going to have to binge and catch up on it, which I'm sure will be no difficulty for anybody to do.
00:42:13
Speaker
If you haven't seen the show, you have to watch it.
00:42:16
Speaker
Thanks for joining.
00:42:17
Speaker
We'll see you next time.
00:42:19
Speaker
We'll see you next time.