Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to Blind Love Skeptics, where we dissect the highs, the lows, and the downright jaw-dropping moments of Love is Blind.
Speaker: I'm your host, Leah.
Speaker: I'm Dr. Greg.
Speaker: Buckle up, because we're about to dive deep into the roller coaster of emotions of Love is Blind Season 6.
Speaker: All right, Dr. Greg, we're back.
Speaker: Back for another pass of this dumpster fire we call Love is Blind Season 6.
Speaker: I just have to say, I just asked you before we started recording, could you watch it again?
Speaker: And you're like, probably not.
Speaker: And so I do want to talk about that at some point.
Speaker: Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker: I think there's something about these shows, these reality shows about relationships that can either hook us in and keep us entertained regardless of the couples there.
Speaker: I don't know if that's the case, but yeah, let's swing back and talk about it.
Speaker: I also, okay.
Speaker: So I think basically through these next three episodes, we've been officially coupled up.
Speaker: Like we have our five couples.
Speaker: So I think it's worth just going over each of them.
Speaker: What do we have?
Speaker: So we have A, D, and Clay.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: He got down on a knee.
Speaker: They met.
Speaker: I also think actually, let's talk about how they ran into like all these couples when they saw each other for the first time.
Speaker: Cause I feel like each of them had their own unique experiences.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I think it's actually really, really important to talk about that first impression because that's where we're going to get the most authentic.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I want to see a first time.
Speaker: We're going to see the most authentic response, like physical response.
Speaker: I think AD and Clay were very happy with one another's appearance.
Speaker: Yeah, I think they were pretty excited.
Speaker: I think they should be.
Speaker: They're very excited.
Speaker: And then I have, well, so let's just go with each couple.
Speaker: Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker: Because I have thoughts on them already.
Speaker: I'm still, and you had already watched this, I'm still worried about Clay.
Speaker: Yeah, I know why you might be, but I have hope for him.
Speaker: I think he's going to turn out to be a rock.
Speaker: He takes feedback, which is good.
Speaker: That's the thing I appreciate about him, but the conversation when he says it's out of shape.
Speaker: Listen, I'm ready for it.
Speaker: I'm actually ready for it.
Speaker: Ready for this?
Speaker: It's very important, actually, I would say.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Anyone who's listening today who wants to be in a relationship with another human being and their physical attractiveness and all the things and health and all the things, it's like we have to know how to talk about that stuff if it comes up.
Speaker: And the way that Clay did is not the way.
Speaker: It's not the way.
Speaker: It's definitely not the way.
Speaker: So he says in my notes- Wait, wait, are we gonna go through all the couples or are we gonna start and dive into each of them at this point?
Speaker: I think we should dive into each of them.
Speaker: Okay, let's do it.
Speaker: Let's go.
Speaker: Let's go.
Speaker: Because I just feel like it's helpful because we know their sexual chemistry.
Speaker: Clearly they're very into each other.
Speaker: They like each other's physical attributes.
Speaker: They both made that very clear, right?
Speaker: And then when they're on this honeymoon or whatever you want to call it, this trip,
Speaker: he one of their first conversations is i wouldn't let you get out of shape and what i didn't love about this is she was sharing about her lifestyle and how she works hard to be fit and to look the way she does and she was pretty much saying i don't eat empty calories like she's very food conscious
Speaker: And he's like, you don't need to be food conscious.
Speaker: He says that initially.
Speaker: He don't need to worry about that.
Speaker: You look great.
Speaker: Like just you working out is probably enough.
Speaker: And then he says a beat later, I would never let you get out of shape.
Speaker: So there's one of like trying to portray that he accepts her.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: And then- Yeah, I just don't think he actually realizes that in her full autonomy, she actually might have to attend to all these things, which all of us probably have to at some point.
Speaker: Think about her nutrition, think about all these things together.
Speaker: And he inserts himself into her existence and her assuming things, which is odd.
Speaker: It's unnecessary.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I didn't like it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then he suggested he would say to her, get in the gym.
Speaker: Get in the gym.
Speaker: And if I said it to you that way, he suggests, you'd be determined to go.
Speaker: That's definitely.
Speaker: And he said, are good coaches easy on you?
Speaker: And I was thinking, is he a coach?
Speaker: Like, I don't understand.
Speaker: No, I don't think that's part of it.
Speaker: I didn't see that as a description, but it's interesting that people think that the role of a romantic partner is to do that.
Speaker: I think people actually think that.
Speaker: Like he does.
Speaker: He's thinking he's supposed to be like challenging her or something or that it would be okay for him to kind of tell her to get in the gym.
Speaker: When that's all nonsense, by the way, and I'm not saying that I haven't worked with couples who are at a point in their relationship where like physical appearance and weight issues and other things aren't issues because they are.
Speaker: But to like suggest that.
Speaker: That approach.
Speaker: God, no, because that's not your role.
Speaker: So tell me, well, I have a couple of thoughts.
Speaker: So.
Speaker: She.
Speaker: Gives him feedback right away, which was pretty receptive.
Speaker: She was like, that's not nice.
Speaker: And she said that multiple times, like, that's not nice.
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: Like, and she.
Speaker: That's mean.
Speaker: It's mean.
Speaker: It's not nice.
Speaker: And he was able to, I mean, that's the only way, that's the only reason I'm kind of not, I don't even say hopeful.
Speaker: I'm like trying to be optimistic or like not judge him too hard because he accepted the feedback.
Speaker: And I think he's been realizing that.
Speaker: I do have blind spots throughout this process.
Speaker: He's acknowledged that.
Speaker: And I think that's huge and important in our relationship.
Speaker: But I also feel like he just doesn't get it.
Speaker: But what does he get?
Speaker: What does he get?
Speaker: I think he's just like, he's got training, he needs training wheels on right now.
Speaker: But what is, what do you think?
Speaker: What doesn't he get?
Speaker: I think he, I think he, I just, I think he really wants to be a good partner.
Speaker: Like he desires that and he realizes he has not been.
Speaker: And like, he's, he said like, I'm a ladies man, but like, it just hasn't worked out.
Speaker: So I think he's, he gets the feedback.
Speaker: I think he's actually fairly receptive to, cause he knows it hasn't worked out in the past.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: But there's just something about, he just like
Speaker: Leads with the physical constantly.
Speaker: And while I know we have talked about sexual chemistry is important and I agree.
Speaker: Like it kind of defeats the whole purpose of this love is blind thing.
Speaker: And he's very much fixated on it.
Speaker: And I was going to say with her, even she's acknowledged having been kind of sexualized and men have, you know, she, her most of her relationships are like around the chem, like the physical chemistry and the attraction, but wanting something deeper.
Speaker: And so I just feel like he keeps saying,
Speaker: They keep going back to that.
Speaker: And even throughout the episode when she was talking to other men and even the other ladies, they're all sexualizing her and objectifying her.
Speaker: And I don't love that.
Speaker: Yeah, that's happening.
Speaker: Yeah, and I really don't like that.
Speaker: And so I think I just wish he was softer and could just be like, yeah, my girlfriend's or my fiance's hot, but let me focus on being a kind person.
Speaker: loving partner for her.
Speaker: And I just think he just doesn't land.
Speaker: He just doesn't land.
Speaker: What do you think?
Speaker: I mean, my best guess, I mean, my read of it at least right now is that to your point, and this is sort of maybe the first time actually that he's in a spot where he can accept some influence.
Speaker: And so there's like some trial and error going on, like with those comments.
Speaker: And then he sort of softens it and they're joking about it.
Speaker: Like,
Speaker: Hey, baby, go to the gym.
Speaker: And then, you know, and then he then he says, OK, no, I have to I guess I will do it differently.
Speaker: But one of the first things he says to her is when they start talking about therapy, which I'm sure everybody is thinking about in our who's watching this in our field.
Speaker: is that he says, I want to do relationship therapy with you.
Speaker: That was the first thing he said.
Speaker: And as a couples therapist, by the way, I love that idea.
Speaker: I love the idea that you don't have to be all banged up 10 years into a relationship to come to see a couple of psychologists or therapists.
Speaker: Why not go there in the beginning?
Speaker: I agree.
Speaker: He's suggesting.
Speaker: So cheers to him for suggesting that.
Speaker: He's proactive, right?
Speaker: He's doing it from a proactive stance.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And there was nothing shady about the way he was saying it.
Speaker: It didn't seem performative to me.
Speaker: I agree.
Speaker: I will say that.
Speaker: So I agree that couples should start earlier than later.
Speaker: And I talked to my clients about that, that are in relationships when they're having like difficulties in communicating, or there's just something fairly minor.
Speaker: I'm like, this could be a good time to go to therapy because-
Speaker: you're not at your wits end.
Speaker: You're still like both feet are like, what is it?
Speaker: There's not one foot out the door.
Speaker: You're both very much committed.
Speaker: So this is actually the perfect time to do it.
Speaker: I still think he needs, he's like, I want you to go to individual therapy, bro.
Speaker: Like I want you in individual therapy and couples therapy.
Speaker: Yes, I think.
Speaker: But I even like, I mean, she just shared how therapy was.
Speaker: I was, I wrote this down too.
Speaker: Like she said there, she was in this dating loop and then she kind of alludes to this childhood trauma and attachment stuff.
Speaker: and how she didn't think she deserved love.
Speaker: It's love, yes.
Speaker: I love her.
Speaker: I don't know why.
Speaker: I just love her.
Speaker: What did you understand?
Speaker: I appreciate it.
Speaker: What did you understand her to mean when she said she didn't have it?
Speaker: She says, I don't deserve love.
Speaker: He asked why.
Speaker: She said something like, I don't have it.
Speaker: I didn't really understand.
Speaker: I think she was like, until then, she wasn't in a committed relationship.
Speaker: So she's like, the evidence shows I don't deserve it or I can't get it.
Speaker: And I have a lot of clients that
Speaker: are in that mentality of it hasn't happened yet.
Speaker: So it's beyond something I could ever get or deserve because, you know, I'm at this age, especially when you get in your thirties, I know a lot of people, including myself earlier, like I remember I hit like, you know, inching towards 30 and it was like,
Speaker: wow, I'm like one of the few friends who are single and you kind of are like thinking you're looking at all the evidence and we only have our inner experience.
Speaker: So you kind of blame yourself or you're like, there's something defective or something about me.
Speaker: And you become kind of fixated with that versus I haven't met the right person or the circumstances haven't been great or I've needed to work on some things.
Speaker: Like I know that
Speaker: Like if she hadn't worked on her trauma work, she probably would never meet the right guy.
Speaker: It sounds like now she's done a lot of the work and healed a lot of things.
Speaker: And maybe now she's like, like even just her giving feedback to Clay and being like, that's not nice.
Speaker: I have a feeling in previous relationships, she didn't say that.
Speaker: And now she's advocating for herself.
Speaker: So I think for me, that means-
Speaker: They're like, look at like, you know, my past reflects my present and will determine my future.
Speaker: If I didn't, if it didn't work out in the past, it's not going to work out in the future.
Speaker: And I think that's what she was saying.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I just, I think there was a lot of insight there, but she still obviously has stuff to work on because she's like, I don't just, that's always like a core belief of I don't deserve.
Speaker: Oh yeah.
Speaker: She said that very confidently.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So I agree.
Speaker: I don't think it's completely healed, but I think there is this awareness, which I think is why I like her of like, she's like my dad and my childhood and
Speaker: I'm in this loop and I can't get out of this loop.
Speaker: And so there's just, I don't know.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I was going to ask you too.
Speaker: Oh, sorry, go ahead.
Speaker: Well, I was going to say, I think you and I are both on social media and what I struggle with the dating coaching is that it doesn't get to the core issue or the root.
Speaker: So they're saying, this is how you get from A to B. Like, this is how you meet the right person.
Speaker: This is how you assert yourself.
Speaker: This is how you communicate.
Speaker: This is how you, you know, like don't put up with bullshit.
Speaker: but you're not getting to the root of the core beliefs, like the trauma, the attachment.
Speaker: And that's the part where I'm really struggling with dating coaching on social media and those coaches.
Speaker: Not that I think there's not a place for them, but you're telling them, it's like you're putting the horse before, what is it?
Speaker: The horse before the carriage.
Speaker: Like you're just saying like, do these things to get
Speaker: To find yourself a partner relationship and date right versus maybe we need to work on your self worth and your attachment wounds.
Speaker: Granted, they're probably not therapists, so they can't do that.
Speaker: But I really think you're kind of jumping the gun.
Speaker: It's going to be really hard to sustain a healthy relationship or meet the right partner if you haven't done the inner work yet.
Speaker: Yeah, if you haven't had an opportunity to really think about it deeply, for sure.
Speaker: I would suggest, I would agree with you 100%, and I would suggest that both those things can happen with the same person if you're working with the right person.
Speaker: I agree.
Speaker: You mean coaching and therapy?
Speaker: A licensed mental health provider.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Such as one of us.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: But no, one thing that another thing that suggests to me that 80 and Claire are potentially going to be a healthy relationship in the future is that, you know, Clay really actually is listening.
Speaker: And the evidence of that is that he was sort of summarizing in that scene that we're describing right now.
Speaker: He was summarizing what she had told him.
Speaker: about her father dying and the impact of that.
Speaker: And it seemed like he truly understood it when he was communicating that.
Speaker: And those are the P and the fact that a, it's like understanding what our partner said about their past.
Speaker: And then the other is just actually remembering it.
Speaker: I mean, I,
Speaker: when we're just initially dating someone, it's, it's often the case that they're going to have to repeat stories multiple times before it actually starts to, like, it starts to stick that we can see their internal world, their story, et cetera.
Speaker: So I don't know.
Speaker: It's another good sign, another green flag for Clay, uh, for me.
Speaker: I know you're building the green flags, but I'm glad I'm like your perspective because you're doing, you do the couple's work, right?
Speaker: I do the individual work.
Speaker: So I think it's a good, it's a good, like,
Speaker: checks and balances, I will say, because I'm being all skeptical and like protective of AD and you're like, okay, these are green flags to look for.
Speaker: And I think that's important because none of us are perfect.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I, and I don't dislike him.
Speaker: I don't think he's a bad person.
Speaker: I think I just, I'm like wanting him to mature and like, you can get there.
Speaker: Like, just come on, bro.
Speaker: Like, let's get there.
Speaker: And I'm just, some of the things he says, it just so upsetting, but then again, he takes feedback.
Speaker: So then I was like, all right, I'm back on team clay, I guess.
Speaker: Like,
Speaker: I love it.
Speaker: Stay on team clay.
Speaker: Wait, before we go on, who is, who do you think the strongest couple is at the midway point of the series?
Speaker: I think it's Johnny and Amy.
Speaker: Johnny and Amy.
Speaker: What is it?
Speaker: So what are your thoughts about Johnny and Amy?
Speaker: I think they're authentic.
Speaker: I think they're really comfortable with each other, like extremely comfortable.
Speaker: There's physical attraction and chemistry.
Speaker: I think they're both kind of quirky and like really- Quirky is the word, yep.
Speaker: I think they love each other's quirks.
Speaker: Like it's very sweet.
Speaker: And-
Speaker: I feel like they're just very communicative about lots of things and they just enjoy each other's presence.
Speaker: Like you can tell that they really enjoy each other's company.
Speaker: Just in a pool and like kind of just like floating around.
Speaker: Like it's not, you did watch last season.
Speaker: Remember there were some couples that are just awkward and they're kind of sitting in silence and it's like, they have to like do these activities to like feel comfortable and they just like hang.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: They're just chilling, talking about each other's toenails or whatever in the pool in episode six.
Speaker: And I said the same thing.
Speaker: I mean, that's my impression of them.
Speaker: They're quirky and they're into each other's quirkiness, which is a beautiful sort of vulnerable, emotionally connected place to be, particularly at the beginning of a relationship.
Speaker: And their giddiness and whatever is sort of silly.
Speaker: It's like a little silly and goofy and lighthearted.
Speaker: But it's so sincere.
Speaker: It's not like a passionate thing that feels like it's going to burn, like crash and burn.
Speaker: It doesn't feel that way.
Speaker: It feels like that can sustain, I guess, is what I'm saying.
Speaker: Who do you think is the strongest couple?
Speaker: You know, I'm going to say that I agree with you.
Speaker: And the only reason I say I agree with you and not pick Brittany and Kenneth, which would be the other couple I might say is a strong couple, is because I don't, even though in the last, in episode six, when everybody is at the beach hanging out,
Speaker: One scene is that Kenneth brings over a chair to Brittany so she's not sitting on the beach or something with her friends.
Speaker: And everybody kind of flips out about, oh my God, Kenneth, he's so attentive.
Speaker: And so there is an attentiveness about him and there is a connection when they're talking particularly about values.
Speaker: You talked about this in our last episode.
Speaker: But I wonder about the attentiveness.
Speaker: I'm always curious about like, is there like a hyper awareness or, you know what I mean?
Speaker: Like there's like the responsivity.
Speaker: I don't think it's performative.
Speaker: I think it's like, I don't have a sexual connection with this person, but I do have good manners.
Speaker: So let me pull up this chair.
Speaker: I still don't see the chemistry.
Speaker: What is it that you point to?
Speaker: Because I don't.
Speaker: I haven't seen one time that he's looked at her with a lusty kind of craving look in his eye.
Speaker: This is your area of expertise.
Speaker: I think he's respecting her because she's waiting till marriage.
Speaker: I think there's a...
Speaker: i think they're doing things very traditionally and i think he thinks she's gorgeous he said he she doesn't typically date white women and so that could be part of it too right like he thinks she's beautiful but maybe he's not accustomed to being attracted to white women but i think i think it's also a lot of like this this just respect for one another and he's just trying to be extra like intentional
Speaker: with the space and how he engages with her where he's being attentive in that way, but maybe not like grabbing her.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: But she said, actually, I think she said, you can grab me.
Speaker: Didn't she say that?
Speaker: And I think that's because she's picking up on what she wants that he's not organically doing.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: As I was saying that, I'm like a little romantic, kind of passionate little thing.
Speaker: All the moments in the day when you're around your person, when you get to like touch them and rub their back and all the things we want you touching each other often, unless you don't like to be touched, which I understand those people exist.
Speaker: But I don't think Brittany is one of them.
Speaker: No, no.
Speaker: And as I was saying that you're right.
Speaker: Cause I think she had to say like, just because we're not having sex, like you can't, he can grab me.
Speaker: And like, I want to be like, she wants to be, she wants intimacy, right?
Speaker: Cause intimacy doesn't have to be sex.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Oh, it's all, oh my God.
Speaker: It's, you know, it's all the things.
Speaker: It's all the touch points, all the seven, six to seven second kisses, by the way.
Speaker: release the bonding, oxytocin and all the other beautiful things.
Speaker: So that's what I would say.
Speaker: One kiss meaning like your lips are touching for six or seven seconds or you're like making out for six or seven seconds.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, you can be making out for six or seven seconds.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That counts.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Or if you really, if you want to be super awkward, you could just like hold it in one place and not move.
Speaker: Well, that's what I was asking.
Speaker: Are people kissing that way?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Well, you could.
Speaker: You could just sink into it and just kind of like, yeah, you could, I guess.
Speaker: Do you do those exercises with your couples where they just like gaze into each other's eyes?
Speaker: I mean, I often tell them that, you know, I have my couples kissing each other for long periods of time.
Speaker: In front of you?
Speaker: No, no, no.
Speaker: When they come, when they see each other at the end of the day, before bedtime, in the morning, before they leave each other.
Speaker: What do you think about, while we're on Kenneth and Brittany, what do you think about their evening routine where they have like four prompts that they answer?
Speaker: I felt like that was a little excessive.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, you know, I can't, well, there's something called the stress reducing conversation and government method, which I've, which I encourage all my clients to do.
Speaker: And there is some element of like review of the day and kind of like, what was the most stressful part of my day was, you know, what am I looking forward to tomorrow?
Speaker: What am I grateful for today?
Speaker: I think if it was stayed formulaic like that for them or even my couples who do the thing, maybe not.
Speaker: But as long as you're checking in with each other, I think that's a good place to be.
Speaker: Would I have done that during the honeymoon?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: I was, and I think it was good intended.
Speaker: Like I think it's, again, his intention was to connect and just keep this open line of communication, which is great.
Speaker: But I was like, I was in like, okay, what was the order?
Speaker: You say this and then you ask this.
Speaker: Like it just felt very like, I guess my concern, and this is again, all speculation and just like this spidey sense.
Speaker: I don't even say it's a yellow flag, but I'm looking for, is he going to be, is there a controlling nature about him?
Speaker: Because he's a school principal?
Speaker: That and like the extra attentiveness.
Speaker: Sometimes I think that controlling and I'm not saying he's controlling.
Speaker: I really don't think that is.
Speaker: But like what is but it also might be, you know, he she wants to she wants to submit to her husband and she wants to be taken care of.
Speaker: And so maybe that's what she wants.
Speaker: I think I that's not my.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: My preference, but I don't know.
Speaker: I'm just like, I'm, I don't know.
Speaker: I was like, all these questions at the end of the day, like, what if you just want to be like, it was nice and I love you and I appreciate you and let's go to bed.
Speaker: Like, what is that?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, I love that.
Speaker: But I, well, yeah, that also, that's an amazing thing to do as well.
Speaker: And I would say that to anybody, particularly any of my clients who are listening to this or anyone who has ever done Gottman Method that, you know, you don't always have to do that conversation.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: It doesn't always have to be an in-depth thing, but to know that you could do it.
Speaker: And again, I would just say that that conversation is not necessary at the super beginning of.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: a relationship like these people are.
Speaker: I mean, I want to just call out just real quick that I think we may have talked about it briefly last time, but the interracial nature of that relationship and to what extent will it be until they get back home and into regular routines that will
Speaker: that we might hear them thinking through or sharing their experiences around that in any other way.
Speaker: I'm not sure.
Speaker: What do you think?
Speaker: You think it's like a one and done conversation?
Speaker: They said, oh yeah, we're good with it.
Speaker: No, no, no, no.
Speaker: I don't, I think you're right.
Speaker: And I actually think AD, when she had that conversation with Kenneth was like great for viewers and like for folks that maybe who are not black or who can't identify with being an interracial couple and like what comes along with that, especially.
Speaker: Can you just say a little bit about what she said?
Speaker: So yeah, so she was just checking in with him and like, can she handle being a mother to black children, like or raising black children, right?
Speaker: Because at the end of the day, they're biracial, but they'll be, I probably identify as black.
Speaker: And with that comes a whole lot of things in our culture and society.
Speaker: And there's a lot of, there's elements.
Speaker: It's a different reality, I guess, is what I want to say.
Speaker: And so she was saying, and I think she just was,
Speaker: I think it's hard.
Speaker: You kind of want to have some of the, you want, I think this is where I was telling you, like, I do think production cuts a lot out because I would have liked to see more of that conversation in the pods of like him expressing concern or like, can you handle this reality for me and what this would look like for our kids and how that might impact them versus you.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Cause you're not black.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And, um,
Speaker: No, I think AD was great to ask that question and check in with him and like understands it.
Speaker: And cause nobody else had asked him.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And so no, I was thinking about it.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So no, you're right.
Speaker: And I think maybe those conversations that he's trying to orchestrate are going to be helpful in addressing these things like long-term.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Now.
Speaker: And I think he's, I think he, I think he's sweet.
Speaker: I don't, I don't really think he's good.
Speaker: I just, I think there's something about him that maybe,
Speaker: there's anxiety or something.
Speaker: And he's like, I don't know.
Speaker: There's something that I think.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But it, but it sounds like the reality could be, it could be a lot of like the differences in blending of, of cultures and families and the reality of having children with a white woman, which, yeah.
Speaker: So I'm glad you brought that up.
Speaker: Cause yeah, you're right.
Speaker: And I'm glad AD addressed that.
Speaker: And I think it's good for viewers to see that kind of thing.
Speaker: Cause you don't really see these things in reality television.
Speaker: No, you're not seeing initial conversations about being in an interracial relationship, you know?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So we just talked about a couple of the couples we might think are doing particularly well in this bunch.
Speaker: Who is the biggest disaster, Leah, would you say?
Speaker: It's between Jeremy and Laura, who we don't really even know.
Speaker: I feel like they kind of brushed over them at the end of like season or episode four and five, right?
Speaker: Like we kind of knew what was going on.
Speaker: And then, and then, oh, Jimmy and Chelsea.
Speaker: I just- Jimmy and Chelsea.
Speaker: Let's start with Jimmy and, well, yeah, let's start with Jimmy and Chelsea.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Let's do it.
Speaker: Let's do it.
Speaker: What's your, what?
Speaker: So, okay.
Speaker: Go ahead.
Speaker: Go ahead.
Speaker: Go ahead.
Speaker: Go ahead.
Speaker: Well, we were going to maybe do where they see each other for the first time.
Speaker: We have not followed that format, which is okay.
Speaker: But when they, okay, I, because I was seeing things on social media eclipses where they're zeroing in on his face.
Speaker: Did you see that?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: It's stupid.
Speaker: It's just like people are.
Speaker: Micro expressions.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: They're screenshotting like specific images.
Speaker: And there's like one image where he looks like kind of deer in headlights when he's hugging her.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I don't.
Speaker: think that actually reflects his level of attraction to her because I think he is attracted to her.
Speaker: I think he was definitely misguided like you had mentioned because she does not, she's not Megan Fox, but I do think he's attracted to her.
Speaker: Wait, what do you think about the attraction?
Speaker: Let's just start there.
Speaker: The attraction, first of all, I think they are both like normal looking people.
Speaker: Like they're just average, attractive people.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So I think in that way, they actually match each other well.
Speaker: And I've written about this, by the way.
Speaker: Like if you match with someone who's of comparable address.
Speaker: effectiveness and level of physical fitness and other things from the very beginning.
Speaker: And it's much more likely that these will be issues later on in a relationship.
Speaker: And I, so on that point, it's, it's the case, you know, uh, but I don't think it's, there's no fire there.
Speaker: And I don't believe much of what he says.
Speaker: It seems to me like he,
Speaker: Like there's a, and you know, Brittany, the other cast member mentioned this at the beginning of episode six and said, there's just something not right.
Speaker: There's something off there.
Speaker: Oh, she's, did I miss it between Chelsea and Jimmy?
Speaker: Oh, I missed that moment.
Speaker: And there is, there's like a mismatch between his affect and what he's saying and she can feel it, you know, she can feel it.
Speaker: Deeply.
Speaker: I mean, there's a level of insecurity there that's, I think, connected to his lack of actual sexual attraction.
Speaker: And how do you know that?
Speaker: Because when you look at him talking to AD at the party and twirling her around and saying, I'm so impressed that I'm talking to you right now.
Speaker: And
Speaker: and said, you know, tells his girlfriend, his fiance, I should say, oh, wow.
Speaker: You know how hot this idea is.
Speaker: Oh, that was terrible.
Speaker: Terrible.
Speaker: She's stacked that woman.
Speaker: She's stacked like what?
Speaker: Also, he had a few drinks.
Speaker: I was going to say, I love, I don't love, I don't love when production gets these casts drunk, but like, cause I watch a lot of the real housewives and when they get these casts liquored up, it's like the other, like, and I think they strategically do that, right?
Speaker: Where they do like unlimited drinks for this like evening soiree with our couples.
Speaker: Where they do that to create drama and to add.
Speaker: Because I have, this is my take is that I think he feels misguided, which he was.
Speaker: I think he is attracted to her.
Speaker: I don't think it's fiery, right?
Speaker: Like I don't, I agree with that.
Speaker: I don't think it's like, he can't stop taking this.
Speaker: He can't keep his hands off her.
Speaker: That's not the case.
Speaker: I definitely think.
Speaker: And he's also not, he's also not communicating that he's sexually, like proactively or.
Speaker: communicating that he's attracted her look how beautiful gorgeous she looked in that bathing suit or nothing you're right no you're right i think but then he keeps saying i love you it's you're right so maybe a lot of her anxiety well and she was cheated on so she's made it clear she's been cheated on multiple times so she already comes to us post cheating from multiple partners incredibly insecure and anxious and
Speaker: then his actions, like you're saying, do not align.
Speaker: And then chooses the most uncertain of the cast members.
Speaker: It was like the two people who were back and forth on two people in the pods are the ones that chose each other.
Speaker: I know that was odd.
Speaker: That was odd.
Speaker: I thought she was going to pick.
Speaker: What was his name?
Speaker: Yeah, I think he's I think they were previewing that Trevor's coming back.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Next episode.
Speaker: I haven't seen them yet.
Speaker: Jess comes back.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: It's going to be I think I did the scene in the bedroom when she was like.
Speaker: I'm glad she addressed it.
Speaker: Like I thought that was fair, but then she's talking in circles and she's like, it's very disorganized, like attachment.
Speaker: It was like anxious.
Speaker: Like, I love you.
Speaker: Do you love me?
Speaker: Can you tell me you love me?
Speaker: You're not telling me anything.
Speaker: I love you multiple times.
Speaker: And she's like, I don't know.
Speaker: It was very uncomfortable.
Speaker: Did you?
Speaker: Well, no, I thought the biggest thing to me is that she was asking him to emotionally validate the fact that she felt creeped out
Speaker: by his actions with AD that she was right there.
Speaker: And instead he denies that he did those, he was flirting with her or saying anything inappropriate when he would in fact was, we could all see that.
Speaker: And then he gets defensive.
Speaker: He's just pretty defensive the whole time.
Speaker: The last thing he says in the whole show wraps up on his last words, I will always tell you, I love you.
Speaker: Like that's not a reassuring thing.
Speaker: that you, I want to, I know I will always love you maybe, but I will always tell you, I love you now.
Speaker: Like what are, what are those words actually mean?
Speaker: Leah.
Speaker: And to me, a fierce, healthy love actually means that we're taking responsibility for actions.
Speaker: We're saying, I'm sorry.
Speaker: We're saying it makes sense that you felt yucky in that situation.
Speaker: And I fucked up.
Speaker: I'm sorry.
Speaker: And everything would have ended well, if that had happened.
Speaker: He seems like on it.
Speaker: He just seems like a 26, 27 year old.
Speaker: Like he's, he just seems like this guy is not fully like he wanted love.
Speaker: He likes the idea of it.
Speaker: And he's just like not mature or, or has the capacity to be truly honest and direct.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's kind of, and I, I think he's avoiding, I think he like has empathy.
Speaker: So he's trying to, I'm not, I'm not just about, I think he's trying to spare her feelings, but he's hurting her feelings more because he's so immature about it all.
Speaker: Like, I don't think you think he's like, I'm just like, you said, I'm going to say, I love, I will tell you, I'll, I'll always tell you, I love you.
Speaker: And he just keeps trying to say all the right things.
Speaker: Yes, exactly.
Speaker: And it's like trying to appease her and just like kind of close this conversation versus it it's, they're not aligning with his actions.
Speaker: I agree.
Speaker: But I also like she, I think you're right.
Speaker: I think she's picking up on things, but I think she's constantly asking, do you love me?
Speaker: Do you love me?
Speaker: Do you love me?
Speaker: Do you love me?
Speaker: So it's just, this is a, it's a disaster.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, she's like, do you love my like, she's like kind of looking for I wrote to like she what's your type, right?
Speaker: Like she's like, she keeps asking these questions that I feel like she's because of her anxiety.
Speaker: But I also so I think he's not being completely what's the word I'm looking for?
Speaker: There's not a lot of his actions are not matching his words and what he's saying.
Speaker: But I also think she just keeps looking for things like in trying to dig, dig, dig, dig.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, again, I think in part her, her anxiety is justified.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And it makes sense to me that she what's interesting is the production crew before the last episode, she talks about her body and her idea of her body and not and having insecurities about it.
Speaker: And then she starts out, what's your type and asking all these questions or whatever, because she really.
Speaker: because she lacks this like affirmation.
Speaker: There's not an, like a specific affirmative prize where she he's like, again, like, first of all, anybody's listening to this, the first time you see your woman in a bathing suit, I mean, you should, I mean, there should be a smile on your face and you should be maybe a little giddy and be like, damn, you know what I mean?
Speaker: You're looking good right now.
Speaker: You know, you want to communicate, like you want to communicate how good your woman looks.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, because you feel that way in that moment and you want to express it.
Speaker: We hope that's the case.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And when it's not expressed, I think that does mean something.
Speaker: It's either a lack of skills or it's a lack of the actual feeling.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think it's both for him.
Speaker: I think it's lack of, I think, I think he cares about her.
Speaker: So I think he keeps trying to do the right thing, but I don't think he's as excited as he thought he would be.
Speaker: And then I think he's trying to, yeah, I think he's trying to spare her feelings, but it's not.
Speaker: And then I think he doesn't want to be, I don't know.
Speaker: He's, he's a mess, but, but I think, I guess, like, I just feel like I wish he would be a little bit more
Speaker: Didn't he say her teeth?
Speaker: Oh, that was, he also said her teeth.
Speaker: She asked.
Speaker: Oh, the most beautiful.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: What's the first thing you notice about me?
Speaker: And he's like, your teeth.
Speaker: And it was like.
Speaker: Your big teeth.
Speaker: I like your big teeth.
Speaker: And I'm like, what?
Speaker: Your square teeth.
Speaker: I like your square teeth.
Speaker: And I, I think he's trying, he's trying not to be dishonest.
Speaker: And he's trying, I think he's like, so.
Speaker: aware that she is insecure and he needs to like make her feel good but then it then he's just like putting his foot in his mouth and it's just it's awful it's awful it's so uncomfortable to watch yeah um okay so our last couple yeah oh i just can't i can't figure it out is laura and jeremy i feel like they're just like i feel like they're like what's the word like uh
Speaker: It's like, what's the one I'm looking for?
Speaker: Like they're a wild card.
Speaker: Like it's just a weird, like we don't know anything about them.
Speaker: We didn't see a lot of their conversations.
Speaker: We just know there was a love triangle with Sarah and who I didn't love myself.
Speaker: But I just don't, what do you think?
Speaker: Like, I just don't get it.
Speaker: And I don't really like either of them that much, which doesn't help.
Speaker: It's very cool.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: The word corporate comes to mind.
Speaker: It just seems like very cold.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: The first thing I talk about is snoring.
Speaker: Like, oh, he didn't snore too bad last night.
Speaker: I mean, it's always like a little bit kind of like not like critical, but I don't know, not connected at the very least.
Speaker: And then, you know, if we're thinking about the last episode season of episode six, I should say, and this whole thing where there's this quote unquote joke where she's telling Jeremy to go
Speaker: quote unquote, bean dip or something to- Slap 80s titties.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then it comes out and they talk about it and it's just awkward for everybody, I think, mostly.
Speaker: Just kind of awkward.
Speaker: Like, why did that even come up anyway?
Speaker: And then, but this is like a, this is a red flag, by the way.
Speaker: Huge red flag about how they handled that whole situation.
Speaker: It's like when you're in a social situation and something comes up like that and there's embarrassment, which I think probably happened.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Like they're feeling embarrassed.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And then he says to her, she says to him, like, oh, we're going to talk about this later or something.
Speaker: And he's like, well, I love that for myself.
Speaker: And then like seconds later, he's like, I'm ready to go home.
Speaker: And she's like, what?
Speaker: You're ready to go home?
Speaker: Like, I mean, back to the, and he's like, no home.
Speaker: And he walks out.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like,
Speaker: And so huge red flag there.
Speaker: If you're going to, if there's any little bit of tension or conflict and that's your initial responses to.
Speaker: Threaten.
Speaker: Take space from each other or threaten ending a relationship at the very beginning or anytime.
Speaker: Big no, no.
Speaker: I agree.
Speaker: No, no.
Speaker: So they're a hot mess too.
Speaker: I'm not sure.
Speaker: And they weren't really acting as a team.
Speaker: Like they were both embarrassed and then just kind of like were pitting themselves against each other.
Speaker: Like she was saying that was stupid that he said this.
Speaker: Like I was just joking.
Speaker: And he's saying like, she told me this.
Speaker: Like, I don't know.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: It was very uncomfortable.
Speaker: And I just...
Speaker: I guess I just don't get either of their personalities.
Speaker: Not to say, I just don't know what's keeping them, what draws them to each other?
Speaker: Yeah, not much.
Speaker: I don't, I haven't heard anything other than like, they'll tolerate the snoring and that they can like, yeah.
Speaker: It reminds me of like what we picture like a couple, like a, like a, like when you picture like a sitcom couple, right?
Speaker: Like the old ball and chain, like they're like, just like, you know what I mean?
Speaker: Like they're just, it's like, it's that kind of that, that this like
Speaker: cultural phenomenon when you get married like you just you just can't stand that person and they just get in the way of your happiness and you resent them and you still love them but you resent them and they drive you crazy and that's okay and it's like no it's right it's interesting um yeah i don't know i don't think we're gonna see laura and jeremy at the end of this thing
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Well, we know Sarah Ann comes back in some capacity and stays out with her all night.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: We're going to stay tuned and see what happens with those two.
