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Breaking the silence...convos about domestic violence
138 Plays6 months ago
Start off strong with some breaking blood pressure records and "butter blood" with in depth discussions about obesity in kids and stroke risks. Millennial parenting that doesn't involve mapquest (and plenty of sporting events with comfy chairs). Great discussion about IPV (intimate partner violence) with a recap about testing for...herpes.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Chocolate with a Side of Medicine'
00:00:19
Speaker
What's up, y'all? Welcome to another episode of Chocolate with a Side of Medicine. I am one of your lovely hosts, Amy Jo MD, and I've got here with me, Dr. Sunshine. Hey, y'all. What's up? chris but that sad Dr. up? Dr. No? Hey.
Amy Jo's Embarrassing Vacation Story
00:00:36
Speaker
So listen, I'm gonna tell y'all something real funny. This is disgusting. This is a moment of transparency. Don't judge me out there while y'all listening, but I have to tell somebody this madness. So I went on vacation. I needed it. I didn't realize how much I needed it, but I needed a vacation. Always. You always need it. man that Always. So, um, when I got back, um, I have been looking, you know, you've liked, you ever had something in your kitchen? Well, Dr. Sunshine knows this. My smell is impeccable, right? So if something is going down, I'd be like, no, it's something in here. Right? So of course, when I get back,
00:01:12
Speaker
um My wonderful husband did the dishes for me because I left out before him, because I did a little bit of a girlfriend's trip on the front before I did, you know, our couples trip. But I'm smelling something and I can't find it. It is bothering me, right? I keep walking past, I'm like looking, I can't find it, all this kind of stuff. And so I get in the kitchen and I'm like, I'm going to find it. And all of a sudden I see all these fruit flies and I'm like, where are these fruit flies coming from? Because they're like, Like I'm running a science experiment in here. Okay. yes Why did a bag of red potatoes go bad in my house? Okay. I got to rewind you to make, to and make you appreciate why this is so bad. Our air conditioning system broke right before vacation. You know, I left that joke or broken was like, we'll fix this when we get back. Let's turn it off. Let's keep going. Now I live in South Carolina, so, you know, it was hot as fish grease in this house. Cause of course we were checking it.
00:02:10
Speaker
So we were periodically turning on just to cool the house down because we didn't want to cook the fish or the turtles or all the other animals that live in our home. um And so, but it was getting up to like 85 degrees in the house. Like we would have to like turn it off for a brief period of time just to cool the house down and then turn it back off because the unit was leaking water. And of course I could not get anybody out to then. So it's been hot as hell in my house for two weeks. So I am back and I'm like, what is going on? And so I see these fruit flies, they are annoying me. And I'm like, why they keep coming back, y'all? Those potatoes must have melted in the two weeks that I was not there. And they had proceeded to grow in large masses. And when I tell y'all, when I pick that damn bag up, I've smelled many things. And many things don't bother me. You know, I've smelled smelled,
00:03:04
Speaker
gang green. I've seen toes fall off. It don't bother me. You know what I'm saying? Poop. All right, it's fine. Y'all, I tossed my cookies when I picked up this bag of potatoes. Like, that's how bad it was. I was like, this is why I needed a vacation because how did not, how did I miss like, okay, that it's going to be no air. You should throw away everything on the table that's going to go. I completely missed it. and I came for it with my nose and my life. So, I just want everybody to feel bad for me. And, you know, I don't know how long those potatoes have been
Shopping Adventures in Florida Outlets
00:03:41
Speaker
there either, but- Yo, you had your own- Yo, it's his own little ecosystem now. Inside that bag. It was his own little ecosystem full of- Can I get a plant in it? That probably grew a little more potatoes, or was it too far gone? It was putrid. Like, it had liquefied and everything. Like, it they had they had killed those potatoes.
00:04:00
Speaker
um there i It was like, yeah, I picked it up, because I i thought it was going to be like what you're talking about, Dr. Doe. I was like, oh, let me just pick this chunk you know and throw them away. There's a few fruit flies in it. I'm going to toss it, take it out. It was like water leaking everywhere. So I had to clean this whole thing up. And i'm literally I'm literally in the kitchen like, I don't know. This is hilarious, because this is the one thing that will toss through something. But all this shit that we saw at residency and at county, it doesn't even bat your eye. Girl, be all in it. Be like, dang, that's messed up. You know you got this hole right here in your butt cheek. Like, sir, I see some maggots on your leg. We're going to take care of that. Correct. Maggots don't bother me, right? You come in, take a sock off, and be like, yo, you know you got maggots in your foot?
00:04:52
Speaker
yeah Alright, that's fine. These little fruit flies and their little larvae or whatever it was. I don't know what it I don't not know why in that moment, and I do not have weak stomach but Me and my little apricots you know had to hang out with the porcelain god. It was horrible. Gosh, you have like was horrible no nose hairs. They're like singed. Singed them. Singed them off. No hairs left. And it kept lingering. I think that was a problem. like It wouldn't go away. It kept lingering in my nose. So I was like, why is it still in there? So I went outside to get some fresh air. That made it worse. It seemed like it pushed it through and went right down to my you know olfactory gland and just was like,
00:05:33
Speaker
You bought the vomit, girl. You thought you about to get out of here. No, I'm giving you all the reflexes. So yes, that is what I did when I got back from vacation. But needless to say, you know, I have like cleaned. every component of the kitchen. like i've I've killed every fruit fly um that exists. I'm sure you have. And now it smells like Clorox. It does. It's better than death. I mean, I'll take that. I get that, but I'm bad with smells, too. like My face, I can't. If I see maggots, you're going to see a face. I'm going to look at your life.
00:06:08
Speaker
ah But I've seen maggots before. and That's the thing in people's flesh. And I'm like, ooh, you got
Understanding Herpes Testing Complexities
00:06:13
Speaker
maggots in your womb. Well, at least they're... And you know what I thought? The last time I saw maggots is somebody who was like, well, at least you go least you won't have any dead tissue in there. like That's true. so that you know It's not as bad as you think. I just can't help it. It's a reflex. I'm smelling it and my face just takes its own turn. It just looks like I'm so disgusted. Not necessarily, but it's just like I just can't help it, because the smell is just so bad. It was bad. I'm going to put a disclaimer on this episode for people that are weak stomachs and... I'm sorry, yeah. All right, maggots are not... It was
Exploring Domestic Violence and Screening Tools
00:06:51
Speaker
bad. You don't see maggots in the everyday lexicons. I couldn't believe it. But on the plus side, your skin looks all smooth and chocolatey because you got a tan on your vacation. Thank you. Because I've been out here these four streets. That's the plus side. Yeah, so I was... I went to 30A.
00:07:10
Speaker
for a quick girlfriend's trip. It was amazing. One of my girlfriends turned 40 and a time was had. And then um I hopped over to Destin to hang out on the beach a little bit. And then I hopped a quick, you know, PJ to Orlando. And, you know, hung out. And I hung out, and it was good. Y'all know Florida's a good time. Not to live there, but to visit. Florida is a good time. Florida is a good time to visit. um I went to the outlet. I went to Nike outlet. I came out with all not a single outlet. I didn't come out with a shoe. No, no. But the Orlando outlets are are are legit. This is what I bought. You buy sneakers? This is it. This is it. I bought the cutest little Nike wristlet.
00:08:03
Speaker
okay There's not a single, and no shoes. You haven't shipped to your house? Nope. Okay. I'm not. I tell the whole truth. That is the only thing that I purchased all week. That wasn't alcohol or food.
Link Between Childhood Obesity and Stroke Risk
00:08:22
Speaker
I want to commend you, because being the resident Floridian here, Orlando is known for outlets. Like, Orlando in the Orlando metro area, there's outlets everywhere, indoor outlets, outdoor outlets. There's outlets everywhere. So if you went to an outlet and that's all you bought, I'm proud of you, Amy Jo. That's it. I'm very proud. I was like, I'm not. So for sure. I was like, I'm not buying anything. But apparently, I didn't realize this. Now, some other people did buy stuff, because there was a, you know, I don't, Lululemon.
00:08:51
Speaker
yeah There's a Lululemon outlet. People were losing their minds in there. I do not wear Lululemon. I will wear Lululemon. I have actually never seen a Lululemon outlet store. There's a Lululemon outlet in Orlando. I'm sure there's some someplace else. we and Because I don't shop at Lululemon, I couldn't appreciate this the deals, but apparently they were like, oh my God, these prices are so great. So people were racking up, but I'm sure Yeah, that that is not a place for me to go A Lululemon I like for Lululemon. I can't go I can't go to these outlets. Do you know? What I would do, you know, I love a good deal
00:09:33
Speaker
You know, you need trouble. Lululemon, it was deep in there. And for what I could tell, like they had quality stuff. It was just that, you know. Yeah, they do. were a thing I was like, OK, this is not for me. I came in. I kind of watched everybody get excited for a little bit, did a quick walk around. I was like, let me. Let me head over to Nike real quick. But some of those but outlet malls in Orlando, you can't even do them in a day. like You need like a couple of days to make it through all of the
Promoting Physical Activity to Combat Obesity
00:10:00
Speaker
outlets. Because it's everything outlet, Lululemon, Nordstrom Rack. It's like has all the outlets. And you're just like, damn. Because the deals are, like you said, Dr. Chris, the deals are amazing. Some people go to Orlando just for the outlets. They don't even go to Disney. they don't go to they don't They're not there to go to UCF, football games, or nothing like that. They just go for the outlets.
00:10:18
Speaker
So that's what I couldn't figure it out. I was seeing all these suitcases and I was like, are y'all here to shop right before you leave? Or did you yeah buy a whole new suitcase to buy, to put stuff in? Yes. Yes. Wow. So the tour buses will drop them off. Everyone gets off the tour buses with empty suitcases and they fill them up as they walk through the outlet.
00:10:43
Speaker
Listen, it's a y'all. It's a thing. It was a thing. It was serious. And it was a nice outlet. So they had really good stuff. I enjoyed just looking. But I did not buy anything but that Nike wristlet that you saw. And I just thought it was good. Good job. And I came home and went back to the pool. I'm proud of you. Very nice vacation. who What y'all been up to? That's, that's B for the past two weeks. What have you guys been doing? Right? Um, mom stuff, nothing changed over here. Chris got, Chris and no, no, probably got more to share. I've just been getting spit up. Just went back to work after a long hiatus. And yeah, it's about it. And seeing all the patients. um bible the page Oh my God. It was, we, I think we, when the day I got back, I think we admitted like 40 plus people.
00:11:40
Speaker
uh, between three, three doctors on nights. And I'm just like, wow, I could have, if I could have extended my FMLA out to like another two weeks, I think I would have been fine with that. But Jesus, it was a lot to come back to. so I don't know. It's hard when you take too much time off. Cause like, then you just don't want to go back. Cause like, I did want a little mini vacation. oh or you just switch jobs altogether. Hello. only do it serious gense Just just say. It's hard to come back. I got i've got a patient pissed at me right now. like
00:12:16
Speaker
sent this long message when I was out and was like, it's been a week. I mean, I don't understand what kind of message I got to send for you to respond back. And I'm like, um I'm not there. like I haven't been there. like you know And so I'm literally sending messages like, I'm so sorry. I have been out. I'm coming off vacation. I'm catching up with your messages. But you know, they already mad at that point. And now they realize that you were gone. like They can't say, I'm sorry. They just like, Well, somebody should have said something. You're right. You're absolutely right. I don't know how we missed it. Let me you know let me figure out how I can help you, but it it is hard being gone because now you're trying to catch up and and you know everybody needs to see you now. right they called They called the week you were out because it's an emergency. I got to be seen right now. You weren't out. They were like,
00:13:05
Speaker
squeeze me in as soon as she gets back. And so it is, it's a little hectic in my office. Yeah, same here. Cause I went out for like a week and it's just like, I come back and they're like, you was gone. And I'm like, I'm sorry. Like, I apologize. And it's like, it's crazy cause I'm out, I was out this week and then I'm also taking vacation at the end of the month. So I kind of feel like what's my purpose of going to work for them? but I can't do that. yeah I need you to go to work. I need you to pay these bills. Can you pay my bills? Yeah. But then if I did that, my my patients would throw like the ill fit. Like she ain't never here. Correct.
00:13:51
Speaker
They'd have lots of things. Why are they like that? I don't know. I don't know. You could take one day off like, you never hear. It's always hard to get in with you. It's like you spend 20 minutes of the visit apologizing why they cannot make an appointment with you the day before. It's like, I ris i mean. Correct. Don't you want me to be busy? Um, yeah, I've been catching up on all the threads, like, well I need to see her today. Right. Well, she's not in. Well, let me see her tomorrow. Well, she's not in. Well, when will she be in? She'll be back until, um, next week. Um, this don't make no sense.
00:14:33
Speaker
I mean, and I'm just like, come on. My nurse would hit them with that quake. Well, if it's an emergency, they should go to the emergency room. Like, my nurse would be quick
Screening for Intimate Partner Violence
00:14:41
Speaker
to hit that in the register. And I'm like, whoo. They would. And then they'd be like, I'll wait. I'll wait. Yeah, exactly. Oh, I'll wait. You know, my nurse would be like, that's what I thought. That's what I thought. But I'll wait. Wait, what? Like, chest pain? No. No, go. You don't wait for chest pain. And I think, you know, this for the first time. I did not take my laptop. I did not take my work laptop with me. So I was completely unaware of all the stuff that went down until I got back. And the amount of foolishness I know. I can't believe it. I'm so proud of you. I took my laptop with me, but I didn't open it. Right. That's how I am. Like, I'll take my iPad and my laptop. It never sees the light of day whenever I'm on vacation. I don't even know why I bring it, honestly. No, I usually don't. I feel like I did something. I did it just in my last vacation. Yeah.
00:15:32
Speaker
When I take it open, I'd be like, let me check these messages real quick. Cause you have anxiety about all the messages you're going to come back to if you don't like start now. Correct. Yeah. So then you need the vacation though. Like you need it. Yeah. Now who I want to, who I would not want to be is Dr. No. I just. right i'm not right I'm not meeting 15 new people every day, especially coming off a vacation. I mean, they see me once, if I mean, and unless they're a frequent flyer, but they'll see me once and that's it. Unless they come back with new plans that I got to make, who got time for that? I mean, it's all the same. It's like, it's strokes, heart attacks, CHF, you ate too much salt at a cookout and now you're coming in with a beat the size of saucers. Like, it's it's all the same.
00:16:23
Speaker
No, I agree. I agree with Amy Jo's management. Yeah. let's let's Let's work on this blood pressure. It's one one one a visit at a time. Correct. and Oh, speaking of, I saw the highest blood pressure. I think it was probably the second highest I've seen. Someone came in with a systolic of like 260 over what like or something like that. Wow. That's impressive. How high does the blood pressure glow? Does anybody know?
00:16:55
Speaker
The highest I ever saw was 270, but I don't know how high it gets. I've never seen a 300. I wonder how high it measures, like what is the highest systolic and diastolic that a a typical machine will measure in the hospital. I think, I think I'd get worried if it said no read. Right? Like if it said no read, how high is that? I like the AccuChex, let's say when you're a kid, it's like Right. Exactly. So you know, like the one, like, you know, your AccuChex at home, and if it says no read, it's 400 or higher. If you're in the hospital, 600 or higher. What does it have to be for your blood pressure? Like you know if that comes back like,
00:17:35
Speaker
just straight faces don't don't don't yeah it just has that error it goes er right er dash dash dash and then it does that thing where it keeps inflating and deflating and inflating and deflating it's like oh and i can't but now is that an error because it's too high or an error because it's too low and it can't detect it because we got both things we got in both ways so um you know like when you get those a1c's and it's like uh you get no number it's like no number gotta gotta let it see wait see comment comment you'd be like see just you'd be like dang this is bad well no they'll um they'll usually do that for so someone comes in for like uh
00:18:17
Speaker
I don't know, I've had a couple of PCPs, they sent in their patients for like hyper triglyceridemia. So when their triglycerides are super high, so they go in, like the nurse and the ER will go in and draw the blood and they're like, it looks like milk. And usually they'll write a comment on the lab. So when I see it, I'm like, well, let me get this insulin drip. No, and let's put you in the ICU. This is pretty simple. Right. that's That plan is done. So, yeah. Lord. Yeah. I've seen, I have, I have, um, I have someone that has such high cholesterol and triglycerides when they spin the blood down, it just, it spins out a hard rock of like fat. What? um Like it just, yeah, they they brought it in. They were so concerned. They were like,
00:19:11
Speaker
look at this and I'm like, oh, it's just like kind of like a little stick of butter. me I mean, it's thick, but it's like solid. Like you could shake it and it'd be ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, like you can hear it because you know how it spits it down. Yeah, so so so when he just came back and had all those C comments, I was like, yeah, there we go. oh and Yeah, it's it can be impressive, but you know, anywho, um What we got for trending topics? Right. Trending topics. OK, so I came about, came across this article. I thought it was pretty interesting.
00:19:52
Speaker
So it was talking about um overweight girls and young women that have strike higher stroke risk as they age. So they were saying that there was this study that was published in this journal called Stroke. um I think it was pretty much like a fairly strong ah small kind of study that was done. But it was saying that women who have excess weight as teens or young adults have a higher risk of stroke by middle age. This is what the study suggests. so if In the study, they followed like 10,000 people for over 40 years, right, assessing their BMI. And they were between the ages of 14 and 31. And they wanted to see um if being overweight influenced their risk of stroke before age 55.
00:20:38
Speaker
And they were seeing that the women who were obese at age 14 were 87% more likely to have a stroke or a mini stroke, while the risk was 167% higher for women with obesity at age 31. Which I thought, wow, that's pretty staggering, right? yeah like And You know, the thing is like a lot of times we stress about being like obese, like doing intervention for obesity. But you know, we talked, we mentioned like, oh, you're overweight and all of the interventions that you should do because you're overweight. But I feel like this, you know, it was a small study, but I thought that that was pretty interesting that like really like at young women this age, like they're having strokes like way earlier.
00:21:35
Speaker
and just I've seen a couple of young people that have some strokes. you know It just reminds me, I was literally just talking about this, like trying to keep my own emotions in check and trying to find the fine balance between like you know talking like body positivity you know in office and also trying to find the balance between body positive and we need to talk about weight loss. right my it's It's so challenging um that it's it's hard because our brains have become biased because the world is fluffy. Americans are fluffy. And so when you're looking um at people, ah your social reactions to be like, oh, they ain't that bad. It's just a little thick.
00:22:20
Speaker
But then we actually looking at kind of some of the things that you use, right? And and the hard part is there's no good tool to use. BMI isn't the perfect tool. Height, weight, throw that trash out, right? There's no good thing to use, but I still use BMI really flexible um in my office just to kind of have an idea of like what kind of conversation we need to have. So if you were asking me to look at somebody, like somebody walked past me on the street, I'd be like, oh, they cute, they thick, they cute. In my office, BMI might be in the 40s. And I would have to say like, hey, listen.
00:22:52
Speaker
yeah We're not holding you to any height weight you know demands, but I do think we need to figure out how your lifestyle is to see if we're meeting our goals, right? Are we sleeping okay? Are you a conscious eater? Are you able to exercise without significant you know challenges? like Are you functioning? and so um I find I have to push myself to be like, no, you really do need to talk about this weight a little bit more aggressively sometimes because your brain is biased, which is probably what's happened to young women. like We push the thickness, especially in our communities, like, girl, you fine. You just thick. When actually it's a setup because they're at risk of stroke.
00:23:31
Speaker
in their 40s that's crazy. yep But you know what's interesting and what Dr. Chris was talking about in the study at least they started age 14 but childhood obesity is like a growing issue like that's like a hot button topic like in public health And the pediatricians, they talk about it at all their conferences because this childhood obesity that they're seeing, we're talking like at age like five, seven, nine, like they're already super fluffy. And then just kind this kind of trying to get them to understand because you have to also realize when they're that young, they don't fully you know their brain isn't fully formed. They don't really know what's happening. like
00:24:09
Speaker
they are hungry, they eat whatever they eat and then you know there's a lot of factors that go into it you know like food deserts and low SES and and not always low SES it's like it there's a lot of parenting obstacles and issues and things and it's a lot. So then when they're already fluffy when they're like age seven, eight, nine, by the time they hit puberty and now you're seeing them at like, you know, 13, 14, 15 and now you have hormones and now you have people feeling insecure and now you have eating disorders and now you have all this stuff wrapped up in there too. It is rough. Like it's hard.
00:24:44
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. But it's, it's crazy. But the younger, but the younger we start, the better. So then, and it sounds really corny, it sounds really cheesy, but like, as the kids are like getting introduced to new foods when they're little, like, you know, kindergarten, first grade, second grade stressing like, Oh, the food pyramid and like balance and like as corny as it sounds, it's legit. And also, The activity level of children nowadays is not the same as activity levels of children back in the 80s and the 90s and 2000s. It's just not the same. it they're not ah They're not outside. they're not They're not doing these activities that you know people used to do back in the 80s and 90s. Now, they're a lot more sedentary. So you add a poor diet to a sedentary lifestyle of like an eight-year-old mixing. Yeah, it's wild. It's wild. So it's something that needs to be enforced, for sure.
00:25:32
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. And also, um you know, we get to talk about this when you go to your well child checks, like they keep going every year. But you know, a lot of times they keep going when they need to get shots, and you don't have to get shots every year. So they there's sometimes you can have gaps that you don't see the kids, and don't get to talk to them about that, checking blood pressures, all of these things, just to make sure like, They're moving in the right direction and decreasing their risk, right? Listen, we all worked worked on the South Side in Chicago. We all worked at Inglewood. There's some parents who will not bring their kid in and until they're like, oh, well, I brought him in today because they won't let him go to school because he need his shots. It's like pause. He done missed about.
00:26:13
Speaker
Two, three, four, five, six, well, child. What? We haven't been to the doctor, and but they'll bring them in because cause something else in life is making them bring the kid in. Not like, oh, we're just here to make sure he's healthy. Nah, that's not what this is. like I took off work today because they won't let him go to school, and he needs his shots, and we trying to piece out of here. like it's Right. So I'm coming for shots. I'm not coming to have any conversation about health and wellness. I'm coming for shots. and print that little piece of paper out so he can take it to school tomorrow so he can go back to school. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know who that was. But then you miss those opportunities of education, right? You miss those opportunities to try to to decrease that risk. I don't know which one of y'all that was, but one of our attendees who will remain nameless because we protecting the innocent right here told a mama that the baby was fat.
00:27:10
Speaker
And the baby was fluffy, like fluffy, like can't turn the neck, left, right kind of fluffy. So, you know, you know, the doc was just like, this is a big old baby. It's more for sure, like, that's this fat baby up in here. Mom was pissed. Like, how dare you call my baby fat? And I was like, this baby actually is fat, like, yo, your baby cannot turn her. The neck is stuck, right? The baby over here, like. turning this whole torso, like babies ain't supposed to be turning no torso, like we can't even check development because we don't know if this little dude can turn left or right, like that baby was fat. And I was like, man, what is going to happen, you know, later? And what is that gonna mean?
00:27:58
Speaker
Like, what about things? Like, I think about athletics and our military and all this stuff. Like, who's supposed to fill in the gaps when these kids that are coming through are like, I'm here for TikTok, video games, virtual reality. I'm not about this physical life. Like, who's gonna be physical? It's interesting, look like, because up to this point, the world has been the world has come to admire gods, right? The athletes, right? it' We have been doing this since the beginning of time. And we are about to enter a phase where this particular generation of kids doesn't necessarily admire the gods. They create them virtually. You have to be it in real life because well, we ain't talking about real life. We're gonna create them in our imagination and on our screens and that's good enough.
00:28:54
Speaker
I mean, but also if you've seen like, a you know, any of the newer games that have come out, like, you know, just looking at the, the QB, the QB graphics from something that we were playing back in like the early 2000s to now where I was looking at a preview for one of the video games that's coming out and I thought I was watching a movie, because those graphics are so realistic that it is extremely hard to tell like this is, this is just a video game, but Yeah, you can create your own character in that universe. You can create your own, you know, basketball player, football player, whatever, and pretty much make it in your own image of how you would want them to look. So yeah, I think it's just kind of like an escape from reality for a lot of kids that do that.
00:29:39
Speaker
Um, but that shouldn't take the place of, you know, yeah, you can do that too. You can play basketball, you can play football, you can get out there and do that too. Um, so I think there's a place for both, but I think it's now with the the rise in technology and the advancements that we're making. Um, you know, a lot of kids are kind of opting to stay in and and do that versus get outside and play and, you know, just do kid stuff outside. Are your kids, kate are your kids gonna have to play sports? Who? Are you talking to me? Yeah, all of you. Oh, that's not it. I mean, I know the only person's got some real kids out here. I have a kid. Your proverbial kids. Oh, that's not an option. They're playing sports, for sure. I already know what sports he about to play. I already know.
00:30:25
Speaker
You want to know which ones they are? He's going to play soccer. He's going to play soccer, and he's going to play baseball. My brother already told him he played baseball, but my brother was a baseball player. He went to college on a baseball scholarship. So Britt was already like, oh, you play baseball. You go play shortstop. You're going to be like Mookie Betts on the Dodgers. I was like, what's my child the new Mookie? What? Dodgers. What? For real, if I have a child, if God bless me with a child, I think it might be one. So unfortunately, that y'all are going to have to do everything it can. So we going to do everything, because it's going to have to be some type of return on an investment. I'm joking. I'm joking, but not really. But yeah. Dr. um Chris, you gotta you got to pay your way through here. You better play sports. You better have straight A's. You better do all the things, everything. You got to do something, because sports are required in my house. Yeah, you have to. You have to. Because they teach you a lot of things. And I feel like, well, because my parents,
00:31:20
Speaker
of you know My parents weren't really okay Caribbean parents. like they not They're not trying to take you to stuff to do sports. They're too busy working. They're not trying to take you to things. So i also I really kind of felt like if I had the opportunity to be in a lot of sports, because I ran track in high school, I felt like, well, if they knew to put me in track maybe younger, I could have been maybe a track star. Who knows? Right. But I wasn't in young, ah you know, at a young age. And you got to start real young with those kind of things. You do, especially now. Athletics now is in insane. Yeah. Yeah. You got to start. You got to start young. And I and I feel like if I had the opportunity to do a bunch of different things, I could have maybe found my niche. Like I had to play piano. I didn't really like piano.
00:32:07
Speaker
but my mom was like, you have to do it, right? It's so much so like when I would go to my lessons, I'd sit there, classic me, that's my personality, sit there and and talk to the t-shirt, come up with all different things so I don't have to do the lesson because I didn't practice and all this stuff. Right, just try to get out of it. Classic me.
00:32:30
Speaker
So this started at a young age, duly noted, duly noted. But then if I was in sports, I couldn't do that. yeah Of course not. They'd be like, if y'all run these suicides, child, what's that? I think I give my kids the option. It's not a requirement, but like we we did all the sports, you know like track and field, know JV versus D. My younger brother was in football, and now he does rugby. um He calls me with like a new like bone that he's broken and any match that he does. I'm like, Chris, let's, we need to chill. There's a couple sports I can't i can't sign up for. like and like My a boxer. I don't think my kids could do boxing because that's that's a rough sport. So yeah, I mean, we got options, but you know I don't think that any of them are a requirement, but I do want to like
00:33:27
Speaker
at least give them the option to choose and then just kind of go with that. Well, you know, they do say that our generation is doing the parenting counterculture thing. We've talked about this on other episodes, how like millennials, and I use that term loosely because I get it, but like millennials are um trying their best to parent more similar to the way that they were parented, as in like, delaying when they give kids like, you know, um smart devices, they are encouraging their kids to go outside, they are really trying to get them to do like more traditional things like coloring and coloring books and like things that they really grew up on instead of it being so tech forward.
00:34:06
Speaker
because we've seen what's happened to the the past two generations. Because now we get the Gen Z's, we got the Alpha's, and we see what, trajectory that's the TikTok generation. We see where they're at. And it's like, all right, we're not really here for that. Let's go back to just coloring books and you playing outside. the bear base And be home when the street lights come on. We need to just, we need to revert back to normal normal shit. Because this shit right here is getting off the hinges. Yeah, because these kids, with their attention spans, it's like two seconds. And then also, if you don't have a cell phone, what are you going to do? I remember we had to, when we did have cell phones, we had to meet up. We had to pick a meeting spot. And we had maybe an hour or so. And they said, at this time, be back at this meeting spot. If you're not here, then your butt's going to get left. So if you don't have a phone to navigate you to wherever, how are you going to know where you're going?
00:34:59
Speaker
I don't think a kid nowadays has picked up a paper map or even heard of MapQuest and know stuff like navigate. so I don't miss MapQuest. I don't miss that. and I mean, DPS is the god song. I say lost with MapQuest. What? Well, you got no one to turn. No, because if you miss ah if you miss it. Then you got to go back. It's a wrap. Right. You put it out. There was no GPS that was recalculating. You'd be like, damn, that turn was wrong two turns ago.
00:35:34
Speaker
All right, so if I was a post-turn here to me, I got to go back to the blocks. You got to retrace your steps, looking through all the stuff you printed out. I think I'm good now. Right. Yeah, they don't know that. But you pay real close attention to the mile marker. I know mile markers. I know exits and stuff. I learned all that by getting lost with Houston MapQuest. So it's a win-win. Yeah. So yeah. All right. So all of our kids are playing sports. We got it. Um, so
00:36:07
Speaker
about the place of sports. That's it, no choices. Y'all gonna be invited to the games. Y'all gonna be invited to the meets and all of that. And we'll be yelling, like, show up. Science and everything. Come on. Right, yes, be all into it. in flat and bear and Embarrassing him. Whose people? Whose class? What? We'll be handing out the whole class. They'll be like, they really know how to have a good time over there. You know what I'm gonna get though? I'm gonna get that chair that has everything got look Oh, like at my baby shower. terrible well At my baby shower. You know, you know, you know, Nikita, you know, Nikita is super mom and you know, Nikita got five kids. She'd be, she'd be at events all the time. She brought like the the ultimate picnic chair and Christine, Dr. Chris, no stolen from Nikita. And you know, she's sitting in Nikita little, little canopy chair and everything. I'm like, this to Nikita. This is a real nice chair. So I was like, what? She got her cup holders. She got the little can of fish. She got the thing. I'm like, what are you doing, Dr. Chris? Enjoying my best life.
00:37:16
Speaker
I didn't want to get up. That was hilarious. That's what I needed to do. Kita was like, do you know how many sporting events I go to? I have five children. She's like, of course I have a comfortable chair. I was like, what the hell? That was my time. Anyway. Anyway. Dr. Nono has our main topic. Dr. Nono has our main topic. I feel like I always pick the saddest topics. I'm sorry, guys. All right. So I think this is kind of coming off the heels of like, a news story. um So as you guys heard, the issues with Diddy going on right now. So this topic is about ah domestic violence. um So we're going to kind of go over just a brief definition, different types of domestic violence, um some stats, risk factors, and also some screening tools that we currently use to kind of, you know, pick this up you in our office and also in the hospital. So
00:38:14
Speaker
ah So start with a definition. So intimate partner violence is a textbook physical, sexual, or psychological abuse of a person by their partner or their spouse. There is only a lot of people know like the ah physical form of domestic violence. So, you know, punching, hitting, you know, assault with, you know, whatever is within their reach. But there's actually a lot of different forms that domestic violence can take. So a couple of them being like sexual abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse, technological abuse, and again, you know, physical abuse. So, you know, as we're hearing about, you know, famous cases, you know, Diddy and Cassie right now is you know all the talk. I'm sure people have heard about, you know, Tina Turner and Ike.
00:39:05
Speaker
Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown, ah Rihanna, Chris Brown, and then also I think Johnny Depp and Amber Heard recently. um So those are kind of cases where I think we were kind of focused more on like the physical because in their testimony they were talking more about the physical parts of it. But other forms like sexual abuse, so kind of forcing or coercing a person to have sex when they don't want to, um the lack of consent, um that's kind of the hallmarks of sexual abuse. Financial abuse is interesting. And that's really where one partner or the controlling partner takes control of all the assets and in some ways can you know put their partner on like an allowance and only allow them to take some and set amount of money out. So it kind of traps them in a way where they can't go and buy things on their own. They can't do things on their own without asking for their partner for that money you know and in in return.
00:40:03
Speaker
um Another one would be like technological abuse, which is I guess it's fairly new. And that's kind of like the whole kind of stalking on a social media, essentially. So like tracking devices where people will actually put devices on their partner to know where they are at all times, essentially, um going on to their social media, telling them to give them all their passwords. I'm pretty much just like not letting them have a private identity online, because it's all up to the partner of how they want to see themselves and in and that light. um dave And feel free to interject, because these are all the things that I've found so far. um So I kind of want to hit you with some stats that I found that are actually pretty pretty glaring for the US. But according to the CDC, so one in four women
00:40:52
Speaker
and one in seven men will experience some form of physical violence from an intimate partner at some point in their life. ah The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence also says one in three women and one in four men have experienced some form of physical violence. One in seven women and one in 25 men have actually been injured by an intimate partner. Um, one in 10 women have been raped by an intimate partner. I don't have the stats for the men for that. That was very high that I thought. And one in what four women and one in seven men have experienced severe physical violence, such as strangling, beating, or even burning. Um, which unfortunately we do see, we do see a couple of times in the hospital, unfortunately.
00:41:36
Speaker
So yeah, this is actually a very common problem in the US, and it affects up to about 10 million people every year. But honestly, that number is probably severely underreported, because a lot of these cases definitely go under the radar. I always wonder, so where do you see it most? Because you know it's um it doesn't come up in the outpatient setting nearly as much. you know Because I feel like you find most of those people um in in the act of an injury, right? Something acute has happened. So they end up in the emergency room. I don't necessarily see a lot of people coming in to talk about intimate partner violence through a problem in the office. So they actually have um a couple of screening tools. i don't I don't know if you guys employ them in your office. We do, yes. Do you know which one you guys use?
00:42:29
Speaker
um So it's in our so it's it's in our social determinants of health. So there's lots of things. and so So all those surveys are all in there, right? And so you have to, you have to finish that one in the office, right? So some surveys you can finish, like people can finish them through their my chart and stuff like that, but the intimate partner violence, you have to finish actually in the office. Somebody has to physically ask you those questions. to answer Yeah, they do it basically in our like annual physicals and even the Medicare annual wellnesses, they ask like, you feeling safe at home and they ask all those questions. They should come up once a year. So every year they they come up due for you to repeat the questions.
00:43:08
Speaker
Okay. Cause um I know there's a couple like screening tools out there for the outpatient setting, but I think the two most common ones are the HITS, which is, it stands for Hurt, Insult, Threatened, and Scream. And then the other one is the Woman Abuse Screening Tool, which is the WAST. And that one is also used ah in the ER. um But you know, those questions are pretty much similar to what you said, like how often does your partner physically hurt you, insult or talk down to you? How often do they threaten you with harm or scream and curse at you? Um, the women abuse screening tool, um, uses those questions, but it kind of goes a little bit deeper into like, what is the relationship with your current partner? Like, do you guys, do you guys have tension? Do you have a little bit of tension or a lot of tension? How do you guys work out arguments? Um, do arguments ever escalate to like hitting or kicking or pushing? Uh, do you ever feel your partner, um, will ever try to hurt you or are you frightened at what your partner has done?
00:44:07
Speaker
And then the one that I'm most familiar with is the partner violence screen. And that's what we typically use in the ER and on the inpatient floors. And that's very, you know, being in the hospital, we got to do things quick. And this one, this question is really like three big questions. And that's essentially, have you ever been hit, kicked, or pushed, punched, or hurt by someone in the past year? Do you feel safe in your current relationship? And is there a partner from a previous relationship that is making you feel unsafe now? There's another big one that they use in the OB, which goes into questions about pregnancy. um But so from what I've researched, these are the three big ones that are kindly in rotation right now.
00:44:48
Speaker
Yeah. I think the screening is, you know, important. Sometimes they don't want to tell you, but sometimes you get surprised and people be like, actually, yeah, that's happening. And you're like, okay. I know like in our system, um if you screen positive for anything, it makes sure to not like, it doesn't print out like on your summary, like so, like let's say I'm writing an assessment and plan for like violence, domestic violence, intimate partner violence, it will not, print out like the resources, right? Cause there's a list of resources you can give them to the patient, but it won't print out automatically. So that somebody has to come home, put their, you know, doctor paperwork there and they see like, Oh, you, you told the doctor that I was doing this. And so, um, our system is, you know, it's kind of cool to be set up. I don't know if it's enough cause I don't have a lot of intimate partner violence in my office. least note None that people are endorsing. Um, but it's tricky.
00:45:45
Speaker
Um, now, cause there's some things now where I'm like, that seems awfully abusive that young people in particular don't identify as abuse anymore. So you'd be like, okay. Yeah. Like, um, just kind of how they, and you know, I think it's because they're the younger patients are navigating through social media. So because it's happening through social media, it doesn't feel like um control or you know abuse. And so they kind of talk about it casually. And I'm like, that's night that's not a thing. um you know Needing to comment on every single one of your you know pages. there you know If you're not posting something every so many hours, then you get a phone call about what you're doing. I'm like, that's not...
00:46:38
Speaker
That's not it. But in their mind, sometimes I've heard some young people like, well, they know I'm really active. So you know just be worried. And I'm like, OK. yeah it I think with the advent of social media, we have like a lot of um those nuances that kind of, they're more clues into kind of telling you what's going on. Like, you know, why is this guy kind of restricting, you know, what I say on social media? Why are you commenting on everything? are you Why are you always on my page or my story? Like, you know, it's kind of like this over hovering, you know, presence that's always there. And you know that that can bring up a red flag really quickly.
00:47:16
Speaker
It's not even just that, like there's a whole another level of, cause you haven't even tapped into like, okay, so now they've changed the laws so that for example, if you're dating someone and you send, and we'll say intimate photos to that person and then you guys break up and then people are putting like intimate photos on social media of their partners that they've broken up with. So now you have these nudes that are just floating out in the social media universe because your ex is like, What, you broke up with me? Well, eff you didn't. And then just like just photo dumps, nudes, of every like all over the internet. So then now there's like all these new laws about like, you know, cyber pornography. Like I think it's called non-consensual cyber pornography. So that's like a whole thing and that they're like trying to figure out. Is it a misdemeanor? Is it a felony? This and that. And then it just kind of goes into that whole, what Amy Jo was saying. Like all these new situations that people are in, that wasn't really a thing.
00:48:14
Speaker
like 10, 20 years ago. But it has to do with like abuse and using leverage and stalking and like all of this stuff that's really, really bad. So that's like a whole nother level. And that's what young people are dealing with. And that's hard to kind of tease out because unless you're talking to them about their social media or about stuff like that, it probably won't come up. But that's what they are navigating. And they see so much of it that like you said, Amy Jo, to them, it's like not Not that it's not abnormal, but they're, they're aware that this is just like, what comes to social media. And I'm like, this is wild. Right. This is wild. Cause they be weird. and Also weird on the internet. Like yeah people are so abusive, um, behind these screens.
00:48:57
Speaker
And it's so widespread that you're right. Young people are like, oh no, my my girl got the same thing going on. And I'm like, this just means that both of you are in danger. You guys are both in danger. Almost like they're trying to normalize it. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. None of this is normal. None of it is normal. Wait, what's her face? Christian and Blueface? Yeah, I mean, they're whole. Yeah, I don't have a level dysfunction. Right. I do not follow them. um So, you know, I can't speak a whole lot. that That whole thing is highly dysfunctional.
00:49:30
Speaker
um I couldn't tell you, you know, um, yeah. But I mean, you can see like there's, there's levels to all of this, like, and then even with social media, I feel like everything just comes back to social media, like the the perpetuation of the whole like alpha male mentality and that, um, you know, men need to be the ones in control. They need to be the dominating ones. Um, and kind of like just snuffing out any sort of like, autonomy that, you know, their partner or their, their women or women, like whatever, how many they want to have.
00:50:05
Speaker
Um, and that, that is being perpetuated more in social media. Like I, I don't know how the algorithm puts me onto those, those little channels. Um, but like I've seen, I've seen like these grown ass men have hold on monologues about like, Oh, you know, like referring to their women as their bitch. Like they need to do all this shit for me. Like, you know, they're on here to serve me. Like that's what they're put on this earth to do. Yeah, 2024. And we're still dealing with this shit. Like, come on. There's a whole subculture that gets that gets progressive worse. I mean, you know, but we're moving past ends intimate partner violence is just into like the underbelly of like, um some of, you know, those those things. It's a the rabbit hole is deep.
00:50:55
Speaker
Yeah, but I mean that just goes to say like these that type of attitude so the harmful masculine behaviors is is a big humongous risk factor for intimate partner violence, you know, in addition to ah things like, you know, you know, harmful use of alcohol, you know, witnessing family violence, um you know, exposure to this as a kid. um And I think we've kind of touched on it before, lower levels of education can also, you know, if you don't know what to look for and what to say no to or ask about, then, you know, that that's a risk factor for perpetuating this as well.
00:51:31
Speaker
Yeah, do you know, there was an article of a guy who, the girl broke up with him, so he sent her nudes to her child. Oh, really? What? That's sick. And that's crazy. But then you think about as this kid gets older, he could, hopefully he doesn't. But in hit you like he's learning like this is just what goes down with people when they break up. like Sometimes they do what happens to It's just kind of what happens. And so you you just kind of expose this really young mind to like you know sometimes you can do these kind of things when you get mad. ah Hopefully he doesn't. Hopefully mom can sit down and talk to him. But yeah, like the guy sent her nudes to her son.
00:52:22
Speaker
This is ridiculous. I want to pick y'all brains on something, and I don't know whether it's, mind you, it is related to this conversation, but I don't know whether it's a good thing or a bad thing, and my patients give me mixed emotions about it, so I don't know. Long story short, where I work, or where I previously worked, because I'm not going back there anyway, so so where I worked, There is, um and it's just the way the facility does things because it was a very structured, um very structured healthcare system. But anyway, in the in our way our system works is, if I have a patient and all my patients are women, right? If the patient asks me for couples therapy, there is a prompt that pops up. And it asked me these questions before I can refer them to couples therapy.
00:53:09
Speaker
And I'm like, yeah, sure, I can get you to couples therapy to answer these quick questions for me. Right. So within the questionnaire, it asks specifically if there's any interpersonal like interpartner violence. Right. And they have to answer a couple questions like as a subset of that. So by way of them asking for couples therapy, I have to ask them these questions. And sometimes the couples are like, Oh my gosh, thanks for asking. The answer is yes. And if you click yes, they're like, okay, well then they need to do this thing first, like talk to this person first. And you know, the hotlines and the things, right? Yeah. And some patients are appreciative.
00:53:46
Speaker
on the flip side of the coin, there's some patients that are like, no, I just asked you for couples therapy. Like the answer to that question is yes, but I don't want you to mark yes. And I don't want to have this conversation. And they kind of get like offended that they can't get couples therapy without answering this question. And they feel like blindsided, like, like, why are you in my business? like Whether the answer is yes or no, and usually it is yes, but it's almost like you're blocking a service that they need because they answered yes to this inter-partner violence, but they don't want to
00:54:20
Speaker
they don't want to talk about this or address this and they know it's a problem but they really just want the therapy and they get angry and upset about it. So I'm having like two different reactions to this questionnaire because you have to do the questionnaire to get them couples therapy. you have to i don't think that should be a I don't think that should be required. I think if they ask for it they should get it but I think they could use the opportunity to screen for them but not have to make it mandatory because if you hit yes that that does exist then they want them to talk to their you know inter-partner violence like that's a different like department like they want them to go to that and then do another you know assessments are you safe and you know like that gets that ball rolling because they're like whoa couples therapy with a partner that is abusing you physically like oh see now we can't do and it's
00:55:08
Speaker
It's weird, and it's not a very good system, and the patients overall are super unhappy with it. yeah That's how they do it where I work, and it's weird. I mean, I understand it philosophically, but I also get i get it from both sides. like Are we really doing couples therapy for somebody who is participating in intimate partner violence? like what that That's the hard part. like Right. um because you always wonder, is the person still like, oh, he just, you know, he just does, he just does that when he stressed her. She only does that when she has a bad day at work, right? Like we can't have couples therapy about this person laying their hands on you and you're just trying to figure out
00:55:50
Speaker
how because sometimes people are you know kind of not ready yet right so they're just they ask the question just tell me how to not make my partner mad enough that that they lash out i'm trying to seek help for that so if you could you could read us and tell me how to prevent the next outburst that would be fine but that's you know I get that that makes sense to the person in the heat of the moment. But that's not that's not the next step. The next step is not, let me help you navigate how to walk on eggshells that you're not you know on the receiving end of whatever, how a person is your partner is having. So from that standpoint, I think it it makes sense. I think that there's got to be a way to to funnel people
00:56:39
Speaker
into an opportunity to have therapy um that that isn't like you can even do couples, like it sounds like it's couples therapy or intimate partner in the therapy or bus. Like to me, I would hope that that triggered like, in addition to your couples therapy, cause we'll play the game. We've got time. We also are requiring you to do some individual therapy. So we can kind of talk about navigating why you think that your best approach to this intimate partner of violence is to be a better version, figure out how to be a more a more improved version so that you don't trigger you know the violence. Because that's typically most people's instinct, right? Let me figure out how not to trigger the violence.
00:57:27
Speaker
But I don't, I think the all or bust probably is a little off putting. It's rough, right? A lot to just even get to the point where they're like, I came up here because I identify a problem. I'm not ready to identify that, you know, I am a victim of intimate partner violence. But I do identify a problem. That's all I want to say about it. And now all of a sudden, it's like, you either say the whole thing or you don't. That's hard. And then also even telling, even coming to that realization that they are a victim. And I, forgive me, I don't know the proper lexicon for that. But, you know, to even know that there's still like a stigma with, you know, being in an abusive relationship. Like a lot of people don't want to come to talk about that and
00:58:11
Speaker
It's not really in public. You're you're talking to it with like a <unk> a therapist or a counselor, but you know, it takes a lot for people to admit, you know, and that's not going to happen in the course of asking a question on a questionnaire. Like they're not going to admit that to you straight up. They need to go to therapy and have that ah therapeutic relationship with the therapist in order for that to actually come to light and to realize that, yeah, this is a problem. We need to do something about it. Yeah, because saying it out loud just makes it even more real, right? yeah And it's just like, you, I feel like people who are in abusive relationship relationships, they go through phases, right? And it's kind of like, it depends on where you meet them, right? And I struggle with that a lot too, because like, I don't, I don't get to see a lot of people in like physical abusive relationships, but I
00:59:03
Speaker
I have some patients that are in like emotional, like abusive relationships. And, you know, I can't, there's nothing that I could see like, okay, they hit you, this is bad. Like you need to like, there isn't that, but they're controlling other things that affects your health, right? But unless you are okay with doing something about it, like, I can't, it's like, my hands are tied. Like I can't really do much for you, right? You have to want to, to do that. And it's, it's just hard because you're like, you want, you want to help them, but they gotta want the want the safe plan to help them to when they decide that they do want to do this, like coming up with a safe plan. How do we make them safe?
00:59:54
Speaker
Yep, giving them the resources and things. So whenever they do hit that point or reach that point, you can be like, all right, well, you have the things that you need whenever you would like to use them, but you have what you need. We have a plan because that's the most important thing. So speaking of resources, so I'm going to end it there. I just thought it'd be nice to have a conversation about that. So um so pretty much you know we know definition. We know there's different types. um We know some stats that is very common in the US and probably severely underreported. We talked about some risk factors and also some screening tools that we use in the hospital and the yeah ah ER and in the outpatient setting to kind of help
01:00:36
Speaker
um kind of see where where this problem lies. So um I wouldn't not tell you guys about the hotline. So we have a National Domestic Violence Hotline. The number is 800-799-7233. You can also text um the BEGIN, B-E-G-I-N, to number 88788. And I will put all this on the website. um But if you feel that you know someone or you yourself are a victim of this or are experienced in this, please feel free to reach out using those numbers and and get you some help that you need. And that's all I got. Great topic, Dr. Noor. Yeah. I hope to help somebody. I hope so too.
01:01:22
Speaker
I'm going to hit us with some questions. you yo We have a lot of really good questions. pretty sure I'm pretty sure listening. i Are they giving these through like our email or where are they sending these questions? sir These are questions that people specifically send to me so that they can hear us answer them. So there are people I know personally who listen to this podcast, and they send them to me through my personal Facebook or Instagram or shoot me. I didn't start asking for questions again. Or they text me. um And it's happened. these are like These are actually lots of questions that were in between season three and season four. and then i just But I just added them to r you know our lovely shared documents. So you guys are like, where did these come from? I'm like, no, no, no. This is from the break. We just didn't answer them. So. Gotcha. Yes.
01:02:13
Speaker
um Okay, there's a lot of really good questions. I'm going to do one. If we answer it quick, maybe we'll do another one, but for the most part, I'm pretty sure we're just going to do one. um I'll do this one because we've done multiple episodes on this um and it kind of goes along. Some things we may have mentioned, but maybe weren't clear about. So this question is, how would I know if I have herpes? If my doctor tells me that I quote unquote, don't see a need to test you for it, unquote. The listener says, I haven't had any breakouts to my knowledge, but I would just like to know if I've been exposed and my doctor doesn't see a need to test me. What should I do? Thank you. anyway you're You're correct. I'm gonna tell you why your doctor does not see a need because the question that comes behind when we get those tests back like are all things that I cannot answer, right? And so I typically tell people, I will test you, but I want you to know that the answer to the questions that follow this is, I do not know, right? So we test you and you come back positive for herpes one and two.
01:03:21
Speaker
Your question's gonna be, well, when do you think I got it? I don't know. Who you think gave it to me? I don't know. How long have I had it? I don't know. I don't know. Am I gonna have another outbreak? I don't know. Well, I never had an outbreak before. You know, is there something strange? Sure, but you still got it. Well, why didn't I see it? I don't know. This is literally how the conversation goes. This is literally it. This is word by where Amy Jo is nailing the head right now. yeah and we don't And so we ended with, all I did was give you a data point that you can't do a anything with it and and that's fine. Now, if you just like data, listen.
01:04:05
Speaker
I will give you data. We will, we could absolutely screen you. And if you want to know if you have herpes one or herpes two, that's fine. But of all the STDs we screen, it is a collection of data points that we typically can't do anything about. The only time I really want to know is if you're having an active outbreak, because then we can kind of bring awareness sometimes. And and this is especially for the people who have been who have under underperformed in their herpes, right? They don't remember outbreaks. So we can't talk about prodromal syndrome because you don't have any context. We can't talk about vesicular lesions because you don't have any context. we can't We can't do any education on the before or after. The only thing we can say is, hey, at some point you were exposed. And should you be walking down the street minding your own business and a vesicle pops up around your um
01:04:57
Speaker
oral region or in your pelvis, let us know. But until that happens, may the force be with you. yeah That's why we don't test you. Yes, I definitely, anybody who asked me that, they get a speech before I even do the test. Because they get a speech. Oh, yeah, they get a speech. it And it typically goes exactly like how Amy Jo says, like, you're probably you might be positive. And if you are, I don't know how, when it happened or what's going on. Like you're not symptom, you're not having any symptoms. Right. So, Oh, she forgot that. She forgot that. Oh man. Should I tell my past sexual partners? Oh man. Should I tell, listen, do I tell my career part? Do I tell my third part? Do I tell? Oh yeah. And you can take medicine to, if you have like one partner that you're like,
01:05:50
Speaker
sexually active with, you're not necessarily using condoms, or if you do use condoms, you can use medicine to help suppress that. But that's the thing, they don't have anything. They don't have anything, right? They just want the data point, which is wild. Yeah, you just want to know. Or sometimes they'll come back and say, well, give me the medicines to suppress it. It's already suppressed. You don't even remember the outbreak the first, second, or third time. Exactly. So we so we know why are we doing that? we don't suppress you We do not suppress your your herpes outbreak until you've proven that you've had so many outbreaks within a and within a time frame, right? So you've had no outbreaks or you've had one or two here or there. The last one you remember was you know five years ago when you were in college or you know five years ago when you were in high school.
01:06:35
Speaker
And that's it. So the only thing we can do is tell you that be on the lookout, be prepared. You know, if you if you describe what a prodromal syndrome is to you, see if there's any tingle. And if you do have that, please do not engage in any physical or sexual intercourse until you have an outbreak and that outbreak has completely healed over. That's the only thing that we can offer you. And now we also have burdened you with the burden of of truth or proof, right? So you've got herpes too. You've got a new partner and you're asking me, should I tell my partner, my default is always gonna be, I think there needs to be an exchange of honesty about sexual health before you engage with anyone. So one thing I've done is create problems for you. I'm happy to create them problems if you want them.
01:07:24
Speaker
But yeah, um, you know, I, you know, have herpes too, so I could have genital herpes. I don't know what that's going to look like. I've never had an outbreak, but I just want you to know that. You know, I, some days I might come on and be like, yeah, we we can't get down right now. And the answer is because I have an outbreak. And I mean, a lot of people are carriers for the virus and someone will never experience symptoms. I think it's what not carriers for the virus. You have been exposed for the virus. you were under to performer My bad, my bad. You ain't carrying nothing but the HSV you got from somebody. so you And it's something like 80, 70% of the population or something like that. 75% of the world population. Yeah. So take that info with what you will do. I am so happy that we did this question. It brought me so much joy. I didn't even have to say much because Amy Jo embodies ah everything in my soul for people who asked for this test. And I'm just like,
01:08:21
Speaker
why Right. It does that. I'm like, are you sure I try to discourage them, but they don't. It's such an headache, y'all. They always have questions after they get it. like Always, because it's usually positive. positive. I recently had a patient that asked for it, right? And it was so funny. She wanted STD testing, so I did HIV. And they came back to me and they were like, No, she doesn't want HIV. She specifically wants her beat. And automatically my like my heart just dropped. like no And then of course, it came back positive. And I was on vacation. And then again, I was like,
01:09:06
Speaker
because I know there's going to be a lot of questions. And I left a detailed message of what it meant, but it's never enough. And there's one question, and I want you to retest me. And I'm just like, but it's going to be the same. It's not going to be different. Like you're expecting a different result, but it's not going to be different. Yeah, we did an entire, Dr. Sunshine did an entire episode on this. I think season two. um
01:09:37
Speaker
yeah they see them yeah but But listener, you at least understand why your doctor's telling you that they don't, or there's no need to, eat because you're the typical patient who's not having any outbreaks. You don't you don't have anything. You feel fine. You are just curious and like, oh, have I ever in my lifetime been exposed ever maybe? And it's like, oh, Lord Jesus, here we go. Here we go. Because if the answer is yes, then all of a sudden it's like, oh my god. Right. I just ah just changed your world and now. Was it this guy? Was it this guy? Was it this? Was it in college? Oh my god. Was it a mess? Oh my god. Was it after that? Was it in grad school? Was it recently? Is it with this guy I'm with right now? i no right no I don't know. I don't know. know. You almost say.
01:10:23
Speaker
Anyway, those are all the questions that we have for today. So if you didn't get anything out of it, just know we don't know. And stop asking questions. We ain't got no answers. We ain't got no answers. So you're going to answer the question and you'll be like, oh, you don't know. Right. But what we do know is where you can find us. Exactly. Please. Dr. Nono? Please tell them
Engagement and Farewell
01:10:51
Speaker
where to find us. All right. So feel free to check out our website at www.thechocolatemds.com. Send us your questions to Dr. Sunshine personally, or feel free to send us to our channel.
01:11:05
Speaker
yeah um say so Send website. Send it to our Gmail, please. ChocolateMDs at gmail dot.com. And follow us on social. We're on Twitter, Facebook. Oh, I'm sorry, X. ah Facebook spills and all that good stuff. oh So, yeah, that's it. Over our handles at the ChocolateMDs. All right. Bye, y'all. We will see y'all in the next episode. Bye. Bye.