Transcript
Speaker: In this episode of Let's Play Pretend, we use a little bit of material from Disney and Nintendo as far as sound effects, characters, voices, and patterning for songs.
Speaker: We want to make it clear we are not the owners of any of these.
Speaker: This is just us having a little bit of fun on this Halloween to give you a spooky extra release.
Speaker: I hope you enjoy.
Speaker: We do not own those sounds, characters, or songs.
Speaker: Let's Play Pretend is an explicit podcast with subject matter that may be disturbing to some listeners.
Speaker: Content warnings can be found in the episode description.
Speaker: Cody's laughing, so it's good.
Speaker: Let's Play Pretend!
Speaker: Hello, everybody, and welcome back to Let's Play Protect.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: What's this?
Speaker: Nick, come on.
Speaker: What's this?
Speaker: This is a hostile takeover.
Speaker: Welcome to the Halloween episode of Let's Play Pretend, everybody.
Speaker: Nick Barnett here taking over the spook show for all of you guys.
Speaker: I'm here to introduce Mr. Breck Black.
Speaker: I don't know whether to be scared of the hostile takeover or join in.
Speaker: Well, you don't really have a choice.
Speaker: You're stuck in my basement tonight.
Speaker: Matt Check, how are you?
Speaker: I'm doing good.
Speaker: Are we starting to coup?
Speaker: I might be, whether you join me is up to you.
Speaker: Melanie Derringer, and you?
Speaker: Mutiny.
Speaker: Bring it on.
Speaker: And a name you all know far too well, Mr. Jordan Derringer.
Speaker: Hello, everybody.
Speaker: It's good to be in the player seat again.
Speaker: Oh, we'll see if you think that near the end.
Speaker: So, before we get started with this little game that I've come up with...
Speaker: I have a couple quick questions for each of you, as yourselves.
Speaker: We'll start with you, Breck.
Speaker: It is Halloween night.
Speaker: It is 7.58.
Speaker: What are you doing?
Speaker: I would be out with my son trick-or-treating and wondering if I need to get home.
Speaker: I see, I see.
Speaker: Well, the clock changes.
Speaker: It's 7.59.
Speaker: And all of a sudden, you hear a strange...
Speaker: Ding!
Speaker: What could that be?
Speaker: There's no clock tower.
Speaker: There's no church bells that would be chiming right now.
Speaker: Halloween's almost over.
Speaker: Instinctually, you have a need to look inside of your son's bucket full of candy.
Speaker: And now we'll jump over to Mr. Matt Check.
Speaker: Matt, what would you be doing on Halloween at 7.58 p.m.?
Speaker: Mmm, I'd probably be at a party.
Speaker: At a party, that's wonderful.
Speaker: Are you drinking, Red Solo Cup?
Speaker: Oh, of course.
Speaker: Of course, 759 hits.
Speaker: Strangely, you also are hearing a strange chiming sound that... This is new.
Speaker: We don't have this here.
Speaker: They never ring the bells this late in the night.
Speaker: You look into your cup.
Speaker: Jordan...
Speaker: Melanie, I imagine you two are probably together.
Speaker: What are you doing on Halloween night at 7.58?
Speaker: I would say most likely heading home from trick-or-treating.
Speaker: Yeah, I agree with that.
Speaker: Either that or we'd just be wrapping up, maybe going to try and hit one or two more houses before it ends.
Speaker: Oh, that's wonderful.
Speaker: As you walk in, you can see people starting to turn their lights off.
Speaker: Halloween comes to an end at 8 o'clock after all.
Speaker: 759.
Speaker: And you, unbeknownst to you, just like the other two, you begin to hear this strange chiming sound, like a bell and a gong at the same time.
Speaker: It strikes the eighth strike, and something draws your eyes up into the lamppost.
Speaker: All of you at the same time
Speaker: Matt in your cup, Breck in the candy bowl, Melanie and Jordan up at the lamppost.
Speaker: You see a dark flash.
Speaker: It's strange.
Speaker: It's a blinding black light.
Speaker: And then, snap.
Speaker: You find yourselves laying on what feels like a large piece of wood.
Speaker: On this piece of wood, you can see trees in a large circle around you.
Speaker: Can I get everybody to roll me a history check, please?
Speaker: History.
Speaker: Starting off with a night good.
Speaker: Night 20.
Speaker: Three.
Speaker: Also a three.
Speaker: 21.
Speaker: I'm not even kidding.
Speaker: I got a nat 20 with a plus three is 23.
Speaker: This is absolutely perfect for you, Jordan.
Speaker: Sorry, Melanie.
Speaker: This history check was how well would you know the nightmare before Christmas?
Speaker: Son of a fucking bitch.
Speaker: I don't want to play anymore.
Speaker: I don't want to play anymore.
Speaker: Melanie, you pass the check too.
Speaker: Matt, Breck, you don't really recognize this.
Speaker: This is strange.
Speaker: You've never seen this before.
Speaker: You don't know how you got here.
Speaker: But... Jordan, Melanie... What's this?
Speaker: Yes!
Speaker: You understand?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Jordan and Melanie, you recognize this.
Speaker: This is the circle where all of the holidays have their own entrance.
Speaker: You recognize this from...
Speaker: what is apparently one of both of your favorite movies if you know it oh so well.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: It is not my favorite movie.
Speaker: She just knows it by proxy.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: So you two know each other.
Speaker: Obviously we all know each other here.
Speaker: But take a look.
Speaker: You look at your hands.
Speaker: You look around you.
Speaker: You're not you.
Speaker: Anymore.
Speaker: Would you like to describe your characters?
Speaker: We'll start off with Breck.
Speaker: Well, to be fair, I actually just made me.
Speaker: Six foot long brown hair.
Speaker: Slight tan.
Speaker: Has a little bit of muscle, but nothing like super muscular or big.
Speaker: You know, average guy kind of blends into the background.
Speaker: Wonderful.
Speaker: And then Mr. Matt Check?
Speaker: Hang on.
Speaker: Can I just say, average guy that just blends into the background is such a depressing way to describe yourself.
Speaker: My heart hurt when you said that.
Speaker: I just wanted to hug you.
Speaker: You know we love you, right, buddy?
Speaker: Yeah, I do.
Speaker: I just, the amount of times I've scared the shit out of people just walking into a room normally because they didn't recognize I was there.
Speaker: It's just, it's just how it is.
Speaker: Feel that.
Speaker: Well, I basically made myself as well.
Speaker: You know, I'm a four foot dwarf with a brown beard.
Speaker: Okay, first of all, for those of you who don't know what Matt looks like, Matt is like six feet tall.
Speaker: I'm a Mark of Warding dwarf, so I've got some magic possibilities in me, but I'm a monk, a dwarf monk.
Speaker: So basically anything below four feet is within my punching range, so you wait.
Speaker: Wonderful.
Speaker: And Melanie, would you like to describe your character?
Speaker: So my character looks nothing like me.
Speaker: She is about five, six and has blondish silver hair with blue green eyes and is very, I would say,
Speaker: Slender.
Speaker: Because I am, I mean, I'm not the, I'm not like a male person, but I mean, I'm not like a petite pro woman either.
Speaker: So she is petite and very stunning in appearance.
Speaker: Awesome.
Speaker: And Jordan Derringer.
Speaker: Ironically, I also made myself.
Speaker: My character is, you know, right around six feet tall.
Speaker: He's got kind of...
Speaker: Longer on top hair, you know, kind of it's longer on top, except for where the horns are growing out and got a nice long tail.
Speaker: Oh, and he's a tiefling.
Speaker: I must I didn't mention.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm red.
Speaker: I'm a tiefling.
Speaker: Wonderful.
Speaker: Well, go ahead and take everything you guys just told me and imagine it in claymation.
Speaker: You quite literally... I feel like we're very expensive.
Speaker: I hate it.
Speaker: Oh, you are very expensive.
Speaker: You look at your hands.
Speaker: You look up and down your bodies.
Speaker: You find yourself... This is strange.
Speaker: Things are bending a little different.
Speaker: Things feel different.
Speaker: Jesus fucking Christ, I'm red.
Speaker: Sorry, I had to get that out there.
Speaker: The red shocks me.
Speaker: Uh-huh.
Speaker: All of you, while you're noticing this, you're noticing the world is strange.
Speaker: You see something, Jordan, with your nat 20, you notice in the center of this ring, which normally has nothing in it, there is a very large stump.
Speaker: It is serrated and chopped down like it was hacked with not a care.
Speaker: And on the other side of it, can I get all of you to make a perception check?
Speaker: You got it.
Speaker: So this is probably a good time to bring up.
Speaker: I have a 26 passive perception.
Speaker: Jesus Christ.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Unlike many, I know the difference between passive and active.
Speaker: You need an active check to notice this.
Speaker: How the fuck do you have a 26?
Speaker: How is that possible?
Speaker: Expertise, and I believe I have a feat that adds to it as well.
Speaker: Plus 20 wisdom.
Speaker: So...
Speaker: There's a lot going into it.
Speaker: Yeah, there is.
Speaker: I got a 16.
Speaker: I also got a 16.
Speaker: I got a 13.
Speaker: It's a good thing you guys didn't need a high roll.
Speaker: Breck, I'm just going to assume you passed.
Speaker: If you rolled a nat 1, I think you'll get over a 10.
Speaker: Uh, 21?
Speaker: Jesus Christ.
Speaker: Yeah, that's what I thought.
Speaker: You hear on the other side of this stump, you can't see anything, but you just hear...
Speaker: kind of a gurgling cough.
Speaker: Oh, so you mean Jordan's normal cough?
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: Shots fired.
Speaker: I'm sassy tonight.
Speaker: I'm sorry.
Speaker: She's been like this to me all day.
Speaker: So you all hear this gurgly cough.
Speaker: What do you do?
Speaker: I'm going to go and investigate it.
Speaker: Same here.
Speaker: I'm going to stay a little farther away.
Speaker: I'm going to stay back.
Speaker: You know, you know.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Since I know Melanie came with me, I'm going to turn around and be like, hey, stay back there.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Aye, aye, Captain.
Speaker: You're my wife.
Speaker: My wife.
Speaker: This is my wife.
Speaker: Now, okay.
Speaker: I would know who Breck is because he looks like Breck.
Speaker: Would I know who Matt is?
Speaker: Probably not unless he said something.
Speaker: Hello!
Speaker: Um, hi.
Speaker: Who are you?
Speaker: I am very nice man!
Speaker: Okay, I'm gonna go check out this coughing, then.
Speaker: You... Yeah, you do that, George.
Speaker: Matt?
Speaker: Yeah, bro.
Speaker: What do you think?
Speaker: I'm sorry.
Speaker: I'm used to you being like two fucking feet taller.
Speaker: The beard should have given it away though.
Speaker: The fuck?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, we're in your favorite movies, so this should make you happy.
Speaker: Oh, dude, I'm ecstatic.
Speaker: But hey, let's check out this coughing.
Speaker: Someone could be dying, I guess.
Speaker: You do that.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: So those of you who walk around to see what's on the other side, you see a very slender, very tall...
Speaker: Man?
Speaker: Creature?
Speaker: But it's not right.
Speaker: You recognize this person in their pinstripe suit, normally black and white, full of vibrancy in their attitude.
Speaker: You see Jack Skellington laying up against the edge of this downed tree, a dark void behind him, his head kind of leaning against the edge of this stump like a pillow.
Speaker: Covered.
Speaker: in blood.
Speaker: You see cuts all over his body.
Speaker: You see his head has a large gash out of the side of it.
Speaker: And he's coughing.
Speaker: I see two hands bouncing in Zencaster right now.
Speaker: Okay, my hand was up first.
Speaker: How does the skeleton bleed?
Speaker: Yeah, that's the same.
Speaker: We're on the same boat.
Speaker: Same question.
Speaker: It's claymation and it's my story.
Speaker: Okay, that's fair.
Speaker: That's all I need.
Speaker: It's bone marrow.
Speaker: No, just bone meal.
Speaker: Claymation, remember?
Speaker: Oh my god, this... I'm kind of like fangirling a little bit.
Speaker: That's Jack.
Speaker: That's Jack Skeleton.
Speaker: Breck, fucking get over here.
Speaker: Help me out.
Speaker: It's more like a corpse to me.
Speaker: I mean, I can try, but how do you heal a bleeding skeleton?
Speaker: So much wrong with that sentence.
Speaker: Um, I mean, things can... Also, why are you red?
Speaker: I didn't want to say it.
Speaker: I haven't figured that out yet.
Speaker: It was shocking, but it is what it is.
Speaker: Right now, I really don't care.
Speaker: Well, at least the horns are cool.
Speaker: Dude, I love my horns.
Speaker: Too much information.
Speaker: So horny.
Speaker: I was going to say it, but I decided not to.
Speaker: Your guys banter back and forth, kind of stirs Jack for a moment, and he tries to lift his head up, but can't seem to find the strength to do so.
Speaker: Oh, Jesus, he's alive.
Speaker: Oh, um, uh, okay.
Speaker: There's, there's magic in these worlds, right?
Speaker: Um, I'm just all sorts of creeped out right now.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: Uh, heal.
Speaker: And I cast.
Speaker: What do you think?
Speaker: You're Donald Duck or something?
Speaker: I cast a first level healing word on him.
Speaker: Okay, go ahead and roll your dice for the heal, I guess.
Speaker: That is... Hang on.
Speaker: I've never played a spellcaster before.
Speaker: I need to know what it is.
Speaker: Oh yeah, you're usually just a fighter.
Speaker: I do.
Speaker: Yeah, normally I just punch stuff.
Speaker: What is my dice for healing?
Speaker: He's always either a rogue or a fighter or a barbarian.
Speaker: None of those people punch stuff.
Speaker: Yeah, it's just a d4 plus your spellcasting ability modifier.
Speaker: Oh, that was a three.
Speaker: Plus my spell casting modifier, which is... It's a plus three, so six.
Speaker: Six.
Speaker: So, as you go to cast Healing Word on Jack Skellington, you feel your spell kind of rebound.
Speaker: It doesn't go away.
Speaker: You don't feel like you actually expended any magic.
Speaker: You just feel like
Speaker: Your magic isn't allowed right here.
Speaker: Jack looks up, feeling and seeing all the commotion you guys are making, and he mutters out.
Speaker: Why?
Speaker: Why are you here?
Speaker: Are you here to kill the Gord?
Speaker: The what?
Speaker: The Gord.
Speaker: God, he took my throne.
Speaker: He didn't want to be a king.
Speaker: He wanted to be a... But you're the pumpkin king.
Speaker: I was.
Speaker: I was.
Speaker: Oh, it was so wonderful.
Speaker: And as he's talking to you, you kind of hear in the background behind everything
Speaker: Sounds like high-pitched children in the back.
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: I'm kicking the first kid I see.
Speaker: Oh, you don't see a kid.
Speaker: All you see are three hands reach out from the blackness.
Speaker: Rip the head off of Jack Skellington.
Speaker: Oh, my God.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: This is going to be awkward, but I loot the corpse.
Speaker: Get away from him.
Speaker: Don't you know what Halloween Town just lost?
Speaker: You can have the skinniest pair of skinny pants on your dwarven ass if you'd like to take this picture.
Speaker: They rip horribly.
Speaker: I wear them.
Speaker: I wear it.
Speaker: I wear his suit.
Speaker: I'm just sobbing uncontrollably.
Speaker: I'm just like, come on, come on.
Speaker: I just kind of walk up to you and just there, there.
Speaker: Like you on the back.
Speaker: Hey, look, Jordan.
Speaker: What's this?
Speaker: What's this?
Speaker: I just, I walk over, just smack Matt in the back of the head.
Speaker: Can't you see he's grieving?
Speaker: I was going to say, I cast vicious mockery on Matt.
Speaker: fucking small for you and you look dumb I don't know how to handle trauma it's fine you are now all on this circular platform Jack Skellington's head has just been ripped off and plunged into this doorway that shouldn't be here
Speaker: What would you all like to do?
Speaker: Not go through the doorway that's not supposed to be here.
Speaker: That's for fucking sure.
Speaker: I'm going to go to Eastertown.
Speaker: I'll see you later.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You're going to try and go to Eastertown?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: You walk up to the Eastertown doorway in the tree.
Speaker: And when you reach to try and open the door to go in, you can't open the door.
Speaker: He's not trying hard enough, and I try.
Speaker: You two both go nuts on this door.
Speaker: One of you with a foot, one of you with a tire iron, but this time the door doesn't open.
Speaker: Bullshit.
Speaker: Call back.
Speaker: You're welcome.
Speaker: Guys, haven't you seen the movie?
Speaker: It's Christmastown.
Speaker: And he goes to open up the Christmastown door.
Speaker: What's this?
Speaker: Jordan, stop crying.
Speaker: It's the exact same thing.
Speaker: You are unable to open any of the doorways on any of the trees.
Speaker: Even Halloween Town?
Speaker: Even Halloween Town.
Speaker: I don't want to go into the black hole.
Speaker: And I approach the terrifying door.
Speaker: It's less a doorway and more of just a pure black pit.
Speaker: God damn it.
Speaker: Can I push Jack Skellington's corpse through the black pit?
Speaker: Now we're thinking like a D&D party.
Speaker: Just with my foot.
Speaker: Just kind of like nudge it in there to see what happens.
Speaker: I won't even make you roll.
Speaker: You nudge while Jordan is crying on the floor.
Speaker: Openly weeping.
Speaker: In the fetal position.
Speaker: You shove his body in there.
Speaker: And you can see it doesn't really...
Speaker: necessarily fall in it looks like walking through a portal it looks like it went somewhere else the body just got up and walked away no you said you kicked it in the thing yeah yeah after i kicked it to just kind of like roll and then walk away i'm confused what you just said you you said you were gonna try and shove it through the thing right yeah
Speaker: And that's exactly what you did.
Speaker: But instead of it looking like the body just fell, it looks like it was sucked in through a vortex or a portal of some sort.
Speaker: Okay, okay.
Speaker: My brain was not comprehending the answer.
Speaker: I see Melanie do this, and I'm like, Jack, no!
Speaker: And I jump through the portal.
Speaker: There it is.
Speaker: Oh, no!
Speaker: Jordan, it's just an animated movie!
Speaker: And I run through it.
Speaker: I kind of like slap my forehead and chase after my dumb ass husband and brother.
Speaker: Just stand there staring at this portal being like, there were so many more options than this, but I guess.
Speaker: Before Breck has an option to react, can I whip my tail out and grab him and pull him through?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: I'm just going to say yes to that one.
Speaker: I like that.
Speaker: So many other options.
Speaker: Breck, do you like that at all?
Speaker: I mean, can I?
Speaker: I'm assuming once I hit the portal, I just get yanked in anyways.
Speaker: That's exactly what's going to happen.
Speaker: If you want to try and fight it, you can, but then you're going to be alone.
Speaker: No, no, I'll just go through the portal.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So you all go through the portal.
Speaker: You find yourselves in a somewhat familiar positioning.
Speaker: This, it looks like Halloween town, but it also kind of looks like Christmas town.
Speaker: and Eastertown?
Speaker: It just, it seems like all of the different areas have kind of converged.
Speaker: You look over and you see Spiral Hill, but it's like a weird melted candy cane.
Speaker: It's not just a large hill.
Speaker: You look over at the trio's treehouse and where Oogie Boogie's lair is, and it's covered in Christmas lights.
Speaker: But it's also got eggs all over it.
Speaker: It's like a weird convergence.
Speaker: You're on a long stone pathway that leads into the town square of whatever you want to call this amalgamation of a town.
Speaker: Are we all still together?
Speaker: You guys all go through and you don't fall.
Speaker: You don't do anything.
Speaker: You just land on your feet and it's like you're placed right here looking at this strange visage.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: If we can find the pieces of Oogie Boogie and we take them to Dr. Finkelstein, maybe he can, or to Jack, Jack, the pieces of Jack, take them to Finkelstein.
Speaker: Maybe he can put them back together.
Speaker: I mean, his corpse is right there.
Speaker: Actually, go ahead and everybody roll me a perception.
Speaker: I'll get to you in just a second, Brick. 14.
Speaker: Nat 20.
Speaker: So 31.
Speaker: Oh my god.
Speaker: 13.
Speaker: 21.
Speaker: Okay, so with the two lower rolls, you just kind of hear that same... Sounded like a couple kids singing a song.
Speaker: But you two, over a 20, you look over and you see Lock, Shock, and Barrel.
Speaker: And they're carrying...
Speaker: the body of the Pumpkin King away.
Speaker: And they're not carrying it up to Dr. Finkelstein's.
Speaker: They're carrying it over into their lair.
Speaker: I think we should probably stop them.
Speaker: Stop?
Speaker: Melanie, what are you talking?
Speaker: Stop who?
Speaker: You gotta look for Jack.
Speaker: Look at the creepiest children they're carrying his body.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: I'd turn your face to look.
Speaker: Those bastards.
Speaker: Before we continue with that, Breck, you rolled a hidden stealth roll.
Speaker: Why?
Speaker: The moment I came out of the portal, I just wanted to kind of just turn and walk into the trees next to everybody.
Speaker: You want to take a piss?
Speaker: Well, no, the plan was to scare the shit out of everyone, but it seemed to work out much better this way.
Speaker: Can I catch up with the three kids?
Speaker: Uh, they are running up that rickety bridge that would lead to the weird bird's cage that they used to go up into their treehouse.
Speaker: We should stealthily follow them.
Speaker: I mean, I have a bow apparently strapped to my back.
Speaker: I could shoot one of them.
Speaker: Yeah, and then you'll miss, and then they'll know we're following them.
Speaker: I'm gonna pop up behind Melanie and be like, I have a bow, too.
Speaker: You need to stop that.
Speaker: And my longbow as well.
Speaker: I draw my rapier and I'm like, aim for the witch.
Speaker: Can I take a shot at the birdcage thing and try to cut the rope from here?
Speaker: It'll be at disadvantage because it's a little ways away.
Speaker: But yes, if you'd like to try and take a shot at it.
Speaker: Instead of that, can I just hit the birdcage itself with an arrow?
Speaker: Would that be at normal?
Speaker: No, it's because of a range issue, not a called shot issue.
Speaker: yeah so I'm going to pull my bow out pull an air out that is glowing green and be like huh wonder what this does and I'm also going to cast ensnaring strike fire away I need to find my freaking there it is that is a 10 plus 9 and 19 and 13 so 19 it'll hit you can roll damage
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: I mean, the damage isn't really what I'm going for.
Speaker: I'm using a strength strike, which is a writhing mass of thorny vines appears at the point of impact, and the targets must make a strength saving throw or be restrained by the magical vines.
Speaker: So what happens when you do this?
Speaker: You shoot at this cage.
Speaker: I'm guessing to try and hit them.
Speaker: You shoot the arrow, and it does hit the cage, and you see your vines, and they start to grow and wrap around it.
Speaker: And as they do, they start to turn into Christmas lights.
Speaker: It doesn't stop the cage from going up, but it does slow it down with the extra weight.
Speaker: So now it's raising at half speed of what it was.
Speaker: Just for my knowledge, how far away are we from lock, shock, and barrel?
Speaker: Oh, it's, I don't know, probably 250 feet.
Speaker: Fuck.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I'm shocked you're trying to shoot lock, shock, and barrel.
Speaker: they have Jack?
Speaker: Is Jack more the body or more the pumpkin head?
Speaker: That's a good question.
Speaker: He can move both independently, so yes.
Speaker: He can?
Speaker: I guess that's right.
Speaker: And since I am dead, I can take off my head to recite Shakespearean quotations.
Speaker: Yes, he can.
Speaker: I was waiting for you to do that, Jordan.
Speaker: Fucking nerd.
Speaker: To be fair, if Jordan wasn't going to do it, I was going to do it.
Speaker: It's one of my favorite movies.
Speaker: I forgot he could take off his head.
Speaker: Look, I already destroyed copyright for this one, so you go right ahead and sing all the songs you want from this damn movie.
Speaker: Oh, if you weren't expecting him to sing...
Speaker: I don't know if I'm such a big fan of this damn movie.
Speaker: Otherwise I wouldn't have made this the base plate.
Speaker: I entered the chat with my name being Oogie Boogie Matt and I started singing the Oogie Boogie song.
Speaker: Quite well, I might add.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: You guys see Breck pulls out his bow and it
Speaker: sparkles green and he shoots this arrow and you can see these vines wrap around the birdcage that they're going up in and you see that it has slowed it down so they're raising much slower as they're getting to the top of their treehouse you're about 250 feet away if you want to try and chase after them okay um are we do you want us to roll initiative for this or no not get one free round and no you guys can just start going i have everything kind of timed out in my head
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Do they know?
Speaker: I was just saying, do they see us now?
Speaker: Oh yeah, they definitely are aware of you being there.
Speaker: That's why they were trying to get away so quickly.
Speaker: They weren't expecting to see anybody else.
Speaker: I spread my wings and chase after them.
Speaker: Spread your wings?
Speaker: Yeah, I've got wings.
Speaker: Since when do tieflings have wings?
Speaker: He's a feral tiefling.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm feral, so it's the type of tiefling that I am.
Speaker: Well, I've got 40 movement speed, so I'm going to dash.
Speaker: If you guys are all, are you all going to go after him?
Speaker: Yeah, I would say so.
Speaker: All right, if you're all going...
Speaker: Then I'll say by the time you get up to that rickety bridge that leads up to it, the cage has just gotten up near the top of it, and they're trying to cut through these vines that have turned into Christmas lights, and they are just trying to cut through it so that they can get into their treehouse.
Speaker: I am going to cast Prestidigitation and make it sound like Oogie Boogie is yelling at them.
Speaker: Why did you bring that body back here, you fools?
Speaker: Take it back down!
Speaker: Did you have to clips that hard?
Speaker: Jesus fucking Christ.
Speaker: I was doing a boogie.
Speaker: I'm sorry.
Speaker: That was so good.
Speaker: Okay, I'm going to make a quick roll for them at disadvantage.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: They are scared shitless.
Speaker: You can see them, and they start looking around.
Speaker: What was that?
Speaker: What's going on?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: What are you doing?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: And they look down and they see you.
Speaker: Was it them?
Speaker: Could it be?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Why are you chasing us?
Speaker: Why are you here?
Speaker: Who are you?
Speaker: I'd start flying up to meet them.
Speaker: You do have a 30 foot fly speed.
Speaker: I do.
Speaker: Hey, Nick, I have a quick question.
Speaker: I have a quick answer.
Speaker: Did any of them succeed?
Speaker: No, absolutely not.
Speaker: Oh, darn.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I'm just going to start climbing up the cliff face.
Speaker: I'm just going to wait here at the bottom.
Speaker: You know what?
Speaker: I take back what I said I was going to do.
Speaker: I am still going to fly up to meet him, but either Breck or Melanie, I'm going to grab onto you and carry you with me since you guys have ranged attacks.
Speaker: Was this you?
Speaker: Was it you?
Speaker: Who did this?
Speaker: Who tied up our cage?
Speaker: You're welcome.
Speaker: Give me it back, Jack.
Speaker: Who are you taking up there with you?
Speaker: It's up to you guys.
Speaker: If Breck wants to climb, I'll take you, but if
Speaker: He doesn't want to climb.
Speaker: I'll take him if you'd want to stay at the bottom.
Speaker: I'm staying at the bottom.
Speaker: I don't like those three.
Speaker: I'm not going to name them.
Speaker: All right, Breck, let's go.
Speaker: All right, C-130 engaged.
Speaker: Oh, my God.
Speaker: All right, Matt, are you going to do anything while you see this happening?
Speaker: I'm just near the kids, and I'm just kind of like, all right, give me the body.
Speaker: Well, they're about 30 feet up from you.
Speaker: Oh, 30 feet up?
Speaker: Alright, and I'm gonna fuckin' athletics, or not, acrobatics my way up there.
Speaker: Go right ahead and roll, just cause I wanna see it.
Speaker: 25!
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You're able to kinda like just bebop left and right up on this weird curvy house, and with all of the vines and the easter eggs and things around it, you have plenty of handholds and things to climb, so it was relatively simple.
Speaker: And I land right in front of them like, all right, now give me the body.
Speaker: Melanie, from down below, you see these three trick-or-treaters and they are trapped in this cage because they can't get out of it with a probably seven and a half foot tall body without a head.
Speaker: You see your very short brother standing in front of them and your husband is flying, holding Breck by the pant loop.
Speaker: That's not D&D.
Speaker: I don't know what it is.
Speaker: I'm holding Breck by whatever will give him no disadvantage to shoot an arrow.
Speaker: Lock, shock, and barrel.
Speaker: They're turning around just back to back to back making a triangle and they just keep spinning.
Speaker: Look, we don't know what to do.
Speaker: No, we don't have anyone helping us.
Speaker: The Gord God.
Speaker: The Gord God.
Speaker: We have to stop the Gord God.
Speaker: You got to stop the Gord God.
Speaker: Come on.
Speaker: We need your help.
Speaker: Wait, wait, wait.
Speaker: You're... You want to stop the Gorgon?
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: So, like, a while ago, years, years ago, Jack, yeah, Jack, he had an idea.
Speaker: He wanted to do Christmas, and it didn't work.
Speaker: We learned real quick.
Speaker: Yeah, we watched the movie.
Speaker: The what?
Speaker: Wait, what?
Speaker: Keep your exposition going.
Speaker: Come on.
Speaker: I point my rapier at him, and I'm like, we know this part of the story.
Speaker: How could they know?
Speaker: It's not possible.
Speaker: There's no way.
Speaker: Look at us.
Speaker: We're residents of Halloween Town.
Speaker: I'm surprised you haven't seen us around.
Speaker: Now fucking tell us what else happened.
Speaker: We've been on a trip.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That flying guy up there 30 feet away is going to come down and kick your ass.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Can I get a group intimidation check?
Speaker: Can I give them advantage?
Speaker: Be like, yeah, from the ground.
Speaker: Look, I'm just going to say, there is nothing scarier in this world than that of a woman scorned.
Speaker: And I'm just kind of imagining you standing on the ground with your arms folded and your eyes up looking at them.
Speaker: So, yeah, you know what?
Speaker: Giving the mom stare.
Speaker: Yeah, all three of you roll with advantage for this intimidation check because of the mother stare.
Speaker: 17.
Speaker: Thank you, Melanie, because I only rolled a 5 on the dice.
Speaker: That's a 15.
Speaker: That costs 4.
Speaker: That makes it a 19.
Speaker: A 24.
Speaker: Can you roll less than a 20?
Speaker: I am specifically a Fey Wanderer Ranger, which means I get to add my wisdom to any charisma check I make.
Speaker: Gotcha.
Speaker: So that's a no.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm going to go with a no.
Speaker: Yeah, a hard no on that one.
Speaker: I shouldn't have given you a plus one bow.
Speaker: Okay, so you have these kids just threatened to rights, and it's weird because they actually kind of seem to enjoy it.
Speaker: Oh, this is better.
Speaker: Oh, they fit in.
Speaker: They fit in.
Speaker: They fit in.
Speaker: They're perfect.
Speaker: Oh, my God.
Speaker: This is going to work.
Speaker: This is going to work.
Speaker: Okay, so can you get us out of here?
Speaker: We'll take you to the Gord God.
Speaker: But look, he's...
Speaker: He wanted to do what Jack did, but he didn't just want to have only the one thing.
Speaker: He didn't just want Christmas.
Speaker: He wanted all of it.
Speaker: All of it.
Speaker: And do you know where he came from?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: No, we don't.
Speaker: Not a clue.
Speaker: Not a clue.
Speaker: All we know, he showed up.
Speaker: He put a weird... It almost looks like a pumpkin.
Speaker: It's weird.
Speaker: It's really, really weird.
Speaker: It's like a tall pumpkin, and it's white.
Speaker: Is it a Gord?
Speaker: Well, he calls himself the Gord God.
Speaker: Gord God.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: He didn't want to be a king.
Speaker: I can't tell if you're saying Gord with a D or Gore with an R-E.
Speaker: And I just don't know which one is worse.
Speaker: I think there's a D. I don't know.
Speaker: I can't spell.
Speaker: That brings up a really good question.
Speaker: Like, how do you kids get educated?
Speaker: We're your parents.
Speaker: Do you have parents?
Speaker: Uh, we had Oogie Boogie.
Speaker: That was a bag of bugs.
Speaker: He was a lot of bugs.
Speaker: A lot of bugs.
Speaker: We had a lot of parents.
Speaker: I think you kids are traumatized.
Speaker: I don't know if he counts, guys.
Speaker: Like, this is not great.
Speaker: Your intimidation check has absolutely made them calm down.
Speaker: That's so confusing.
Speaker: Okay, y'all want to bring the cage down so I can kind of hear what's going on.
Speaker: Why don't you just come up here?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: They pull the lever to try and take it down, and it starts lowering very slowly.
Speaker: Oh, right.
Speaker: I awkwardly stand there and wait as it slowly goes down.
Speaker: Also, Melanie, great mic etiquette.
Speaker: I love how you did that from a distance.
Speaker: That was dope.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: I literally just pushed my chair away.
Speaker: I was like, let's whistle.
Speaker: Wait, I'm just going to gesture in the Christmas lights.
Speaker: Just disappear.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: If you're going to go ahead and I'll let you dispel it as free action, I guess.
Speaker: So I can stop.
Speaker: You do that.
Speaker: It's concentration.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: You enter your concentration, it kind of bounces and it jerks the kids back and forth and it lowers down and gets to the flat part and they come out and they are kind of dragging Jack's body.
Speaker: They're like, okay.
Speaker: So I know it's, it's horrible.
Speaker: It's great.
Speaker: It's so bad in a good way.
Speaker: But so we were going to take it and we were going to take it to Dr. Finkelstein and see if he could fix him.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: We need him to fix.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You were not going towards Finkelstein.
Speaker: Don't lie to me, children.
Speaker: You think he's... Where do you think he is?
Speaker: How do you know who he is?
Speaker: We've never seen you before.
Speaker: Is he not in the town square anymore?
Speaker: Not here.
Speaker: No, this isn't Halloween Town.
Speaker: This looks like it.
Speaker: This is all of them kind of mixed together like a big pot of stew.
Speaker: I don't trust you.
Speaker: Do you know who stole Jack's head?
Speaker: Oh, yeah, that was us.
Speaker: Me.
Speaker: And me.
Speaker: And me.
Speaker: Wait, so you have both parts of Jack.
Speaker: You ripped his head off?
Speaker: That's what Dr. Finkelstein said he wanted.
Speaker: And then all of a sudden his body showed up.
Speaker: So we're like, hey, we're going to take that too.
Speaker: But where do you think the head originated from?
Speaker: You could have got both if you weren't so greedy.
Speaker: Guys, I'm kind of remembering the movie more and more.
Speaker: And if I remember correctly, Dr. Finkelstein is horribly, horribly evil and shouldn't be trusted ever.
Speaker: Agreed.
Speaker: Yeah, he wasn't like a good guy.
Speaker: Everyone's head just rubbernecks over to Jordan.
Speaker: He wasn't terrible.
Speaker: Him and Jack were friends.
Speaker: He just kind of had his own agenda.
Speaker: I feel like that's Jordan's favorite character and he's just trying to make up for all of his crimes.
Speaker: Oh no, Finkelstein's not my favorite character by any stretch of the imagination.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Is it Oogie Boogie?
Speaker: Probably.
Speaker: Maybe.
Speaker: A hundred percent.
Speaker: Only because you can do the voice with whatever.
Speaker: So I end up looking at the three kids and going, okay, so if you're taking Jack there, then where's Sally?
Speaker: We don't know.
Speaker: All we know is that we got pulled in here.
Speaker: Jack got pulled.
Speaker: Jack tried to escape.
Speaker: Yeah, he tried to escape.
Speaker: He went up through the big weird black light thing.
Speaker: And then the Gord God, he went up there.
Speaker: He thought he killed him.
Speaker: But, uh... No, you did by ripping his fucking head off.
Speaker: We wanted the body.
Speaker: We grabbed the head.
Speaker: That's all we could see was the head.
Speaker: So we grabbed it, pulled.
Speaker: Oh, pumpkin.
Speaker: I mean, to be fair, he takes his own head off quite a bit, so I don't think that killed him.
Speaker: Do you see the state of his body?
Speaker: He looks pretty fucking dead.
Speaker: I mean, he's a skeleton.
Speaker: He always looks dead.
Speaker: She just slapped my forehead.
Speaker: I mean, he's not wrong.
Speaker: He is a skeleton and he does remove his head.
Speaker: Enough skeleton sidebar.
Speaker: We gotta go kill this Gord God.
Speaker: Skeletons don't bleed.
Speaker: So clearly there's something wrong here.
Speaker: Also a good point.
Speaker: I see that the pumpkin head Jack's head is slowly deteriorating.
Speaker: It does not look like it's holding up.
Speaker: It is deteriorating.
Speaker: And it's pretty easy to tell that there is no life left in either the body or the head.
Speaker: I told you.
Speaker: Can I look around?
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: We got to kind of hurry this up.
Speaker: And I'm going to sling Jack's body over my back.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Let's go.
Speaker: I'm going to look over the horizon and see if we can see the doctor's house.
Speaker: Like, I remember what it looks like from the original Halloween Town.
Speaker: Maybe we see it mixed in a strew with all the other holiday shit.
Speaker: You can totally see his, like, lab.
Speaker: It's, you know, large and kind of curved up to the right towards the town square with the large spike on top.
Speaker: But the large spike on top is now a dead Christmas tree.
Speaker: And it looks like confetti lines that are draped across what would have been Sally's window.
Speaker: If you remember that from the movie.
Speaker: I'm being 100% honest with you guys.
Speaker: I don't remember any of the fucking buildings.
Speaker: Absolutely nothing.
Speaker: That's your fault for not playing as much Kingdom Hearts as you should.
Speaker: No, I think you're just fucking obsessed with this goddamn movie.
Speaker: So Lock, Shock, and Barrel watching you guys kind of bicker, they're like,
Speaker: You guys are funny.
Speaker: You're weird.
Speaker: I like him.
Speaker: And they're like, Finkelstein's not there.
Speaker: He doesn't go up there anymore.
Speaker: Take us to Finkelstein.
Speaker: Where do you think we were going?
Speaker: He's down.
Speaker: Down.
Speaker: He took Oogie Boogie's spot.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Since Oogie Boogie's gone, I mean, he died a long time ago.
Speaker: That's where Finkelstein is now, because it's hiding.
Speaker: He's hiding really good.
Speaker: Just to set the scene, I'm having like a little bit of a power trip right now because I have wings.
Speaker: I'm just hovering over the ground.
Speaker: Show off.
Speaker: Flavor.
Speaker: So do you want to see him?
Speaker: You want to go?
Speaker: Let's go.
Speaker: Yeah, let's let's go.
Speaker: I guess let's go see the creepy man in the wheelchair.
Speaker: So you guys jump up to the top.
Speaker: Those of you who want to jump up there, Jordan, you fly.
Speaker: You guys go up and then you're going to go down that really long, weird tube that they shoved Santa Claus down to get down into Oogie Boogie's lair.
Speaker: That is the only way you're going to get down there.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Do you go down?
Speaker: He can tell God's like, no fucking around.
Speaker: This is the only way you're going.
Speaker: Well, I have to make sure we reach a conclusion.
Speaker: Let me tell you my conclusion with a sound effect.
Speaker: Let's play a game.
Speaker: How many copyrights can we get?
Speaker: How many copyright links do I have to strike in the edit notes of this episode?
Speaker: All of them.
Speaker: I mean, technically, it is fan-made, so you can't really get a copyright strike.
Speaker: Tell that to the mouse.
Speaker: Yeah, it's Disney.
Speaker: I'll sue you!
Speaker: See, that's going to be $500 just because he did the Mickey Mouse voice.
Speaker: Another $700 for Nintendo for using the pipe sound.
Speaker: So do you guys all go down the tube?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Strangely enough, I don't actually have a trap here.
Speaker: I thought you guys were going to sit here and stare at the tube like most people do at a door.
Speaker: I don't have a tire iron to beat it with, so... That's on you.
Speaker: We should have added one to your character sheet.
Speaker: Just because.
Speaker: So you guys go down the tube.
Speaker: You pop out, and it's not quite the same.
Speaker: There's not the weird vat of whatever Oogie Boogie had in the middle.
Speaker: All of his contraptions are gone.
Speaker: Finkelstein has turned this into kind of a makeshift lab.
Speaker: And you see him roll out...
Speaker: with his strange wife that he created that has half of his brain pushing him.
Speaker: Lock, shock, peril.
Speaker: Who are these?
Speaker: Come on, Jordan.
Speaker: What's your favorite character?
Speaker: Finkelstein.
Speaker: I was just about to say, go ahead, DM.
Speaker: Talk to yourself.
Speaker: God, fuck you.
Speaker: Oh, they're here.
Speaker: They're going to help.
Speaker: They want to take out the Gord God, the Gord God.
Speaker: They want to kill the Gord God.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: I never once said we were going to kill the Gord God.
Speaker: I said we wanted to revive Jack.
Speaker: I'll kill a Gord God.
Speaker: I mean, I have all these arrows.
Speaker: It'd be a shame not to use them.
Speaker: I dropped my dice.
Speaker: I'm sorry.
Speaker: Get out.
Speaker: Finkelstein looks back at his weird makeshift wife that looks just like him and he just kind of motions with his hand.
Speaker: Finger flapping motion.
Speaker: And she pops open her head and
Speaker: he pops open his head and they put the brains back together she falls limply to the ground and now he's got his full brain back oh you brought me Jack was he still alive he was till your stupid little children killed him they're not my children my children would have a brain probably my brain I'd make them yeah you have a problem okay we all have a problem the Gord God
Speaker: Can you bring Jack back?
Speaker: That's all I really care about.
Speaker: Lay his body and lay his head on the table.
Speaker: I'll see what I can do.
Speaker: I'm just going to sling the body on the table.
Speaker: Rock, Rock, and Beryl come up, and they put his head on it.
Speaker: Dr. Finkelstein rolls up to the table he's got, kind of props it up a little bit so he can see better.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: No, no, I can't bring him back.
Speaker: Not like this.
Speaker: But, but if you... He opens his head and he scratches his brain.
Speaker: Gross.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Um...
Speaker: So Jack was messing around again and he has some of my equipment at his house.
Speaker: I kind of need that.
Speaker: If you bring me that, I might be able to bring him back to undeath.
Speaker: You need alive.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: Um, would it be Jack's house in this realm?
Speaker: And he kind of gestures around.
Speaker: Or do you mean Jack's house in the actual Halloween town?
Speaker: Oh, you saw the hinterlands.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Everywhere is closed.
Speaker: Everywhere has converged into one thing.
Speaker: And that's where we are now.
Speaker: Those doors can't open until we split the world back.
Speaker: For that, we need Jack.
Speaker: So...
Speaker: in his house, you should be able to get there without running into the Gort God.
Speaker: The Gort God stays in the town square, so if you go around, you should be able to make it to his house.
Speaker: Upstairs in his tower, you're going to find items that are mine.
Speaker: It shouldn't be hard to tell the difference of what's mine and what's his.
Speaker: You're not stupid, are you?
Speaker: Not generally.
Speaker: That's a great description of what we need to find.
Speaker: Just everything.
Speaker: Everything he has.
Speaker: He has pungents and ointments and a couple dead rats.
Speaker: I need... It's specifically one vial, and it has a strange black, purplish fluid inside.
Speaker: It'll look like it's swirling around.
Speaker: Just... If you bring me that, I might be able to bring him back to life.
Speaker: Life...
Speaker: All right, well, let's do it.
Speaker: It sounds easy enough.
Speaker: What could possibly go wrong?
Speaker: God damn it.
Speaker: You just had to say the words, didn't you?
Speaker: Look, the easiest way, go through the graveyard, go under the spiral hill.
Speaker: If you go over that way and over the fence, you should be okay and not run into any trouble.
Speaker: Okay?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Let's go.
Speaker: All right, go.
Speaker: Bye.
Speaker: And he just kind of wheels away and he grabs his weird makeshift wife by the ankle and just drags her body.
Speaker: I want to, like, slide a hand and, like, nick just a random scientific item he has.
Speaker: Go ahead and roll.
Speaker: Ooh.
Speaker: A nine.
Speaker: A nine?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Hold on, I actually have to make a roll.
Speaker: I wasn't expecting to have to roll against you.
Speaker: Disadvantage, because he's wheeling away.
Speaker: I got a two.
Speaker: I don't know what his modifier would be, but he didn't see shit.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: He's intelligent, not wise.
Speaker: Like a weird-looking paperweight.
Speaker: Lock, Shock, and Beryl look at you guys and like, okay, we're going to stay.
Speaker: We're not going to go.
Speaker: We don't like it out there.
Speaker: We didn't want to go get Jack.
Speaker: Yeah, but we had to.
Speaker: Finkel said so.
Speaker: So we're going to stay here.
Speaker: When you get back, we'll get Jack back, and then we'll go kill the god.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Well, kids, here.
Speaker: Go play with this, and I'm going to toss them an extra dagger that I have.
Speaker: Another one.
Speaker: They pull out like four daggers each.
Speaker: Oh, Jesus.
Speaker: Yeah, I can never have too many sharp objects.
Speaker: Have fun with that.
Speaker: I mean, I've got like three sharp objects on me right now, so... I don't cut my nails that can be all sharp.
Speaker: I wonder how much Jordan is raging because I can't do the Finkelstein voice with any decency.
Speaker: No, you're doing good.
Speaker: I'm not raging at all.
Speaker: I am listening.
Speaker: Good.
Speaker: With rage.
Speaker: And by listening, he means fangirling.
Speaker: A little bit.
Speaker: I'm glad I can feed your fetish.
Speaker: Okay, guys, let's just go to Jack's house and get this stuff so we can resurrect a character that I can actually stand in this franchise.
Speaker: Okay, are we trying to do this silently, or are we just gonna kinda stomp along?
Speaker: Nah, let's just follow the path, Finkenstein said.
Speaker: We should be good.
Speaker: Yeah, I agree, let's follow the path, but I also agree with trying to avoid this Gord God.
Speaker: If this thing commands enough presence to call itself a god and have everybody here call it a god, I don't know if that's something we want to mess with without Jack.
Speaker: That seems perfectly fair.
Speaker: So you guys leave what would be the treehouse and Oogie Boogie's lair.
Speaker: You cross that original path that you were on, and you walk into the graveyard.
Speaker: And you can see the spiral hill in the background.
Speaker: And instead of the normal yellow moon, there's nothing.
Speaker: There's just nothing in the sky.
Speaker: You can see Jack's house off to your left, towering over most of the...
Speaker: scenery of hollowing down uh as we walk i'm remembering more and more of the movie i'm like i want to test out my flexibility because i remember that the uh characters in this movie were very very unnaturally flexible uh that can be very true go how are you testing your flexibility uh to start out he just takes his hand and tries to bend it backwards slowly
Speaker: You can bend it all the way back till your fingers touch your forearm.
Speaker: Gross.
Speaker: Weird.
Speaker: I just kind of stare at it for a second.
Speaker: I'm like, huh.
Speaker: I don't know if that's useful, but that is very fun to do.
Speaker: Are you guys just going to walk through the graveyard and walk through the spiral hill to get over to Jack's house?
Speaker: Yeah, I would say so.
Speaker: I want to test something while we're in the graveyard.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I want to whistle and pat my leg.
Speaker: Zero, come here, boy.
Speaker: Come on.
Speaker: Bosley!
Speaker: Jordan, what the fuck?
Speaker: Sorry.
Speaker: I think Bosley made up the decision for me.
Speaker: Alright, Jordan.
Speaker: Give me just a raw charisma roll.
Speaker: You're a bard, fuck.
Speaker: Yeah, you didn't think that one through too well, did you?
Speaker: Neither did you.
Speaker: Yeah, you might have woke up your son.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: No, he's drugged.
Speaker: For everybody listening, he's drugged on melatonin.
Speaker: I didn't actually drug my son.
Speaker: Yeah, give him some heroin.
Speaker: He went down real quiet.
Speaker: 12 with a plus 3 gives me a 15.
Speaker: Hold on.
Speaker: There we go.
Speaker: Copy.
Speaker: To the listeners, I have to send him a character sheet.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: There you go, Jordan.
Speaker: Open it up.
Speaker: That's a lot of dogs.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: You just sent me a whole list of dogs.
Speaker: No, this website just sucks ass.
Speaker: Hold on.
Speaker: No, you don't get blink dog.
Speaker: Homebrew dogs.
Speaker: What about a bear blink dog?
Speaker: What about a ninja dog?
Speaker: I'm going to cut you off.
Speaker: What about a bear?
Speaker: Cut me with a ninja dog.
Speaker: I want a celestial dog.
Speaker: What are you talking about?
Speaker: You guys are all having so much fun.
Speaker: Old sea dog.
Speaker: No, I want a polar bear dog because then I can have Naga from Legend of Korra.
Speaker: Damn.
Speaker: Okay, let's not use that website.
Speaker: There we go.
Speaker: Wild dog.
Speaker: Hot dog.
Speaker: Copy.
Speaker: Alright, Jordan, try this link now.
Speaker: Yes, that worked.
Speaker: But that means everyone.
Speaker: Hey, you know what?
Speaker: I have zero, so I'm happy.
Speaker: There you go.
Speaker: You now have a ghost dog.
Speaker: I will add barking sounds in.
Speaker: Just use Bosley's sound bit.
Speaker: He gave you a good one.
Speaker: Ha ha ha!
Speaker: I thought it was a sound bite until I was reactive.
Speaker: So as you guys are going and Jordan calls out for Zero.
Speaker: Do not whistle again.
Speaker: I swear to God, I'll come down there and punch you in the face.
Speaker: Zero pops out of the ground and just, huh?
Speaker: What the fuck?
Speaker: And is just looking at you like you called me.
Speaker: Oh, good boy, Zero.
Speaker: Come on, bud.
Speaker: We're going to go help your dad.
Speaker: Breathing noises.
Speaker: Breathing noises.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So you guys go and you're heading to Jack's house.
Speaker: You guys kind of hop the fence and whatnot.
Speaker: He told you to stay off the main path.
Speaker: So you hop the fence near his house.
Speaker: Zero just kind of walks through it.
Speaker: Jordan probably flies over it, I imagine.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Matt, does your four foot wide self just walk through the rock?
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: So you guys, like I said, you get over the fence one way or another, and then Zero just walks through it.
Speaker: And you are standing at the front steps up to Jack's house.
Speaker: Excuse me.
Speaker: Yes?
Speaker: Zero doesn't have feet.
Speaker: He flies through it.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: He hovers.
Speaker: He has a permanent levitation spell cast on him, so he can't fly, fly.
Speaker: but he can levitate and move.
Speaker: He can fly.
Speaker: DM ruling.
Speaker: Okay, fair.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Wow, it's happening to you.
Speaker: That's weird.
Speaker: You know, he only heads Jack's sleigh, but yeah, yeah, can't fly.
Speaker: Yeah, okay.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: Do you like having a ghost dog?
Speaker: Maybe when he levels up.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Don't take my ghost dog.
Speaker: Yeah, that's what I thought.
Speaker: Alright, so you guys are standing at the steps except for Zero, who is... You know what?
Speaker: Probably you and Zero are fucking floating.
Speaker: Accurate.
Speaker: Yeah, nailed it.
Speaker: Well, we're here, guys.
Speaker: Let's go to the front door.
Speaker: Can I get everybody to roll me an insight check, please?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: You know, I might not actually be good at that one.
Speaker: I'm not actually good at that one.
Speaker: Eighteen.
Speaker: Never mind, I'm good at that.
Speaker: 25.
Speaker: 25!
Speaker: Fuck you guys!
Speaker: Nat 1.
Speaker: Oh no!
Speaker: Good!
Speaker: Someone that was under 20.
Speaker: You know what?
Speaker: Actually, because of your character, Jordan, you can roll this one at advantage.
Speaker: Oh, thank you.
Speaker: Nat 1.
Speaker: You're joking.
Speaker: Are you serious?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: All of you, except for the fan of this world, notice that Zero does not look like he wants to go into the house.
Speaker: Jordan, there's something wrong with your dog.
Speaker: Come on, boy.
Speaker: We got to go find Finkelstein's stuff so we can resurrect Jack.
Speaker: And he's doing circles, and then he points his nose over to the town hall.
Speaker: There's nothing at the town hall.
Speaker: Finkelstein said his stuff is here.
Speaker: Let's go.
Speaker: Give me a persuasion check.
Speaker: Come on, let's do a third nat one in a row.
Speaker: Do it, do it.
Speaker: Shout out to the two crew.
Speaker: But with a plus nine, that equals an 11.
Speaker: An 11 is not going to do it.
Speaker: and Zero is going to kind of nose at you and then nose towards Jack's house, and then Zero takes off towards the town hall.
Speaker: Wait, Zero, what the... Guys, you find the stuff here.
Speaker: I'm going to go see what's going on with Zero.
Speaker: Why?
Speaker: Who cares?
Speaker: Let's get the shit to bring Jack back.
Speaker: You would know that there's not really anything that can happen to Zero.
Speaker: being an actual ghost.
Speaker: Is he going to die?
Speaker: No, but the way he's flying off makes it seem like he wants us to see something.
Speaker: He did nudge you towards Jack's house, not towards the town hall.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: He's basically scared shitless.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, that's about a nat 20 on her insight.
Speaker: 25, thank you.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Sorry, Zero.
Speaker: Welcome.
Speaker: I kind of say this under my breath, I'm like, I'll call you back after we're out, buddy.
Speaker: I open the door.
Speaker: It cracks open.
Speaker: As it should.
Speaker: And just inside the house, it is just black.
Speaker: There are no candles lit, no lanterns lit.
Speaker: It is just black inside this house.
Speaker: Um, I think I have dark edition.
Speaker: I cast fireball.
Speaker: Jordan!
Speaker: I'm kidding.
Speaker: I don't have fireball.
Speaker: Does anybody have a way to light anything?
Speaker: There are candles and lanterns around the house.
Speaker: I mean, I do have firebolt.
Speaker: I have prestidigitation.
Speaker: Can't that make a light?
Speaker: Firebolt and prestidigitation.
Speaker: If you guys want to go around the house and start lighting things up, you can absolutely do that.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Cool.
Speaker: I grab a candle and be like, here, light this.
Speaker: I light it with my firebolt gently.
Speaker: I feel like I have, like, be very specific on saying gently.
Speaker: Um, roll a sleight of hand.
Speaker: Oh, God.
Speaker: Fuck.
Speaker: Do I do it to not get burned?
Speaker: No, this is for Melanie.
Speaker: Hang on.
Speaker: Don't fuck up.
Speaker: She shouldn't.
Speaker: What is sleight of hand?
Speaker: Dex!
Speaker: It's a skill.
Speaker: And I don't know if you have proficiency in it or not.
Speaker: I do.
Speaker: It's a plus eight.
Speaker: It's a fifteen.
Speaker: A fifteen?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: You do your firebolt and you don't just hit the wick, you kind of hit the whole top so you melt quite a bit of the candle down, but you light it.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: But don't burn his hand, right?
Speaker: No, no.
Speaker: That was a tenor blow.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So you guys go around the house.
Speaker: You're lighting it up.
Speaker: Finkelstein said specifically that you were going to be able to find what he had of his up in Jack's tower.
Speaker: So I'm guessing you're going to go up the stairs?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So you guys go up.
Speaker: What's the marching order?
Speaker: It's a single wide stairway.
Speaker: I'll go first since I've got the fastest walking speed.
Speaker: I'll go behind Matt.
Speaker: I'll go above everybody.
Speaker: Oh, shut up with your fucking wings.
Speaker: You and your fucking flying.
Speaker: I'll go behind Melanie.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So short, fat, and stubby goes first.
Speaker: So you guys can all kind of see over his head.
Speaker: You made yourself a four.
Speaker: You are his wife.
Speaker: Is it Kane or Matt?
Speaker: It's Gibson.
Speaker: Oh, sorry, I was looking at the wrong name.
Speaker: Okay, Mr. Iron Toe, who is four feet wide, as he is four feet tall.
Speaker: Don't forget it.
Speaker: I should have given you guys sanity, because this would blow your mind.
Speaker: Wrong game.
Speaker: Oh no, there's a sanity system in D&D.
Speaker: No, I refuse.
Speaker: So, as you guys go up, and...
Speaker: Matt Gibson, as you go up and you open the door into Jack's tower, I need you to roll me a perception check.
Speaker: Just Matt or all of us?
Speaker: 19.
Speaker: Just Matt, because he's up front.
Speaker: 19.
Speaker: When you open it, it's not lit up, so it's very dark in there, but just like what Finkelstein said...
Speaker: You see on a table this strange black purplish fluid and it's glowing almost in the same light that all of you saw that sucked you into this world to begin with.
Speaker: Oh, that must be what he was talking about.
Speaker: And I walk over and try to grab it.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I'll go over with him.
Speaker: I'm just going to stay in the doorway.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I guess I'll just stand in the room somewhere.
Speaker: Kind of just looking around.
Speaker: So you see this vial and the weird black light that radiates from it.
Speaker: Matt, you grab it and you try and pick it up and it won't move.
Speaker: Is this like a sword in the stone kind of thing where only one person can pick it up?
Speaker: Uh, you would have to go over there and investigate it to find out.
Speaker: God damn it.
Speaker: I'll investigate it.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: If you guys all want to, you're all more than welcome to go up to it and investigate it together.
Speaker: I'll do it as a group check.
Speaker: So if the average beats, then it'll be good for all of you.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Ooh.
Speaker: Investigation's a plus 10.
Speaker: So that's a natural or unnatural 19.
Speaker: Mine's a dirty six.
Speaker: It's a 10 for me.
Speaker: 22 for me.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: You guys, as an overall beat the average.
Speaker: You can thank Jordan for that above a 20.
Speaker: So you're watching and you guys are trying to figure out how it is you're going to move this thing.
Speaker: Every time one of you touches it, a little bit more color is radiating from it.
Speaker: Jordan, when you touch it, a little crimson color starts radiating from the fluid inside.
Speaker: Matt, you, it's green.
Speaker: Breck, it's blue.
Speaker: Melanie, when you go up to touch it, you can see all these colors converging as everybody is touching this vial.
Speaker: Are you going to touch it while everyone else is as well?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: The moment all four of you come into contact with this vial of fluid, much like a Harry Potter portkey, the stopper pops out and you all get whizzed down inside of this little vial.
Speaker: I mean, no.
Speaker: Malina never took her hand off the other page.
Speaker: She can go back.
Speaker: Oh, I am so glad that I'm the one who can retcon things.
Speaker: So you all get vortexed into this little vial.
Speaker: And you can't really see out, but you're able to feel movement.
Speaker: Somebody has come into the room and they've picked up the vial and they're carrying it down.
Speaker: And can I get a perception check from everybody?
Speaker: Okay, guys, I don't know about you, but I'm done getting sucked into weird portals for the day.
Speaker: I agree.
Speaker: This is too much for me.
Speaker: Unnatural 20.
Speaker: I mean, I'm still not convinced I'm not asleep.
Speaker: That's a 29.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Mine's an unnatural 20 as well.
Speaker: Ooh.
Speaker: So, Matt, was it you that rolled in the single digits?
Speaker: Uh, yeah.
Speaker: You don't notice dip.
Speaker: Um, but the rest of you here...
Speaker: A very faint sound of just... God damn these fucking kids!
Speaker: Take all the new people to the Gord King.
Speaker: He will kill them, he will eat them, gain their power, yay!
Speaker: Yay!
Speaker: I knew I should have kicked those kids when I saw them.
Speaker: I mean, in general, I'm not for child murder, but does everyone agree maybe we make an exception?
Speaker: Who said they're actually children?
Speaker: They look like demons to me, so let's fucking murder them.
Speaker: Ooh, you have a good point.
Speaker: So you don't get carried for very long.
Speaker: It's not really sloshing.
Speaker: You just hear them singing their little tune.
Speaker: You can tell they're making it up as they go, and they didn't pre-write any of it.
Speaker: Um...
Speaker: All of a sudden, the stopper comes out.
Speaker: And the four of you are on the ground in front of the town hall.
Speaker: Are we like tiny or are we like normal size?
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: You are back to your normal size.
Speaker: Lock, shock, and barrel are nowhere to be seen.
Speaker: But all you can see is over in front of the fountain that's in front of the town hall.
Speaker: You see this strange hunched over creature and you just see blood all around him.
Speaker: The fountain is running full of blood and you just hear sounds of gnashing teeth and crunching bones and liquid falling to the ground.
Speaker: Roll sanity.
Speaker: Do I need to say it?
Speaker: Gross!
Speaker: What modifier do I have for sanity?
Speaker: Probably a negative 20, yeah.
Speaker: Okay, good.
Speaker: So, you hear all of this.
Speaker: And this figure, you see it stand up very slowly.
Speaker: Its arms, almost like they're coming out of the front of his shoulders.
Speaker: It stands up
Speaker: arms down to the ground.
Speaker: And then you hear a sickening crack as the head of this hunched over creature completely flips backwards, upside down, a very tall white gourd.
Speaker: And you can see a mouth as wide as the gourd itself is.
Speaker: So probably about eight inches wide.
Speaker: And this thing's head just snaps back and looks at you.
Speaker: giant gnarled teeth covered in blood and pink fur.
Speaker: Ow!
Speaker: Look who's here!
Speaker: Hi!
Speaker: Are you hungry?
Speaker: I think some of the Easter Bunny has left.
Speaker: I immediately shoot an arrow at its face.
Speaker: I was going to say, is he wearing anything that's metal?
Speaker: You will find out after you roll initiative.
Speaker: After this commercial break.
Speaker: Damn it.
Speaker: I get a 22.
Speaker: 22.
Speaker: 24.
Speaker: Fuck, my initiative order only goes up to 24.
Speaker: 16.
Speaker: 10 for me.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: okay and then melanie what was yours again 22 20 22 and then 24 for you matt yep do i get to roll initiative for zero zero is nowhere to be seen that fucking scaredy dog sorry i don't have my dry erase board anymore because i have given that to my daughter
Speaker: Okay, so because Melanie said it right away, I will let you have one surprise round so you can take one shot at this thing with your longbow.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Don't fucking fail me, Dice.
Speaker: That's a 24.
Speaker: That's a 24.
Speaker: Actually, that's a 25.
Speaker: 25?
Speaker: A 25 will hit.
Speaker: Go ahead and roll damage.
Speaker: No sneak attack.
Speaker: This thing is looking right at you.
Speaker: I was gonna ask if I could sneak attack it, but since he's looking at me, it doesn't really work.
Speaker: Uh, wouldn't she still get sneak attack because she's standing next to friendlies?
Speaker: No, the friendlies need to be up against it.
Speaker: Oh, you're right, you're right.
Speaker: So that's eight damage already.
Speaker: Eight damage.
Speaker: Come on, Mechanical Pencil, don't break any more lead.
Speaker: Eight.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Top of the order is the Gord God.
Speaker: It looks as the arrow shoots and it plunges right into the upper shoulder of this thing.
Speaker: Its head is still tilted backwards at you.
Speaker: Why?
Speaker: I offered you money.
Speaker: Because you're creepy as fuck, that's why.
Speaker: I don't trust you.
Speaker: No, no.
Speaker: Mother doesn't like that.
Speaker: Mother doesn't like this.
Speaker: And you are going to be attacked by this thing's strange arm.
Speaker: It kind of whips backwards at you.
Speaker: Does a 16 hit you?
Speaker: No, it does not.
Speaker: 16 doesn't hit.
Speaker: As its arm whips right over your shoulder and you're watching it, its head shoots out.
Speaker: Its neck extends like rubber.
Speaker: Does a 24 hit you?
Speaker: Unfortunately, that will hit me.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So this thing is going to roll its damage on you.
Speaker: You're going to take 26 fight damage.
Speaker: Holy fuck.
Speaker: Ah, you do taste good too.
Speaker: This is gonna be fun.
Speaker: Touch me.
Speaker: After that is going to be Matt.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Well, after I see the Gord God just took a bite out of Mel, I'm like, oh lord, that was terrifying.
Speaker: And, uh...
Speaker: You see, I get, my body gets possessed, and eyes get rolled back, and you see these, like, ghostly hands, or ghostly arms, uh, floating above me, and I just start punching the shit out of them.
Speaker: Oh, I want that!
Speaker: Ooh, a crit!
Speaker: Well, that'll hit.
Speaker: How do we do, how are we doing crits in this?
Speaker: Uh, you're just gonna roll the damage dice twice.
Speaker: Gotcha.
Speaker: Ready.
Speaker: I just realized that I have uncanny dodge as a reaction.
Speaker: You can half your damage if you'd like.
Speaker: I will let you retcon that.
Speaker: Okay, cool.
Speaker: Thanks.
Speaker: 14 bludgeoning damage.
Speaker: 14 bludgeoning damage.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And that was the first attack.
Speaker: I'm gonna attack...
Speaker: Second time.
Speaker: That is a 22 to hit.
Speaker: A 22 would hit, but he's going to use his reaction to cast shield, bumping his AC up to 23 until the end of the round.
Speaker: This motherfucker.
Speaker: And now he has to do a dex saving throw of DC 14 from my arms of the astral self.
Speaker: Oh, I would roll that.
Speaker: A nat 20.
Speaker: He doesn't take damage from me.
Speaker: Or from that.
Speaker: That's my turn.
Speaker: Okie dokie.
Speaker: After that, it is Melanie proper.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I'm grossed out and creeped out because this thing touched me and bit me, so I'm not happy.
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: So, um... Can I cast Firebolt at it?
Speaker: You sure can.
Speaker: Go ahead and roll to hit.
Speaker: That's a 14.
Speaker: That's not gonna fucking hit anything.
Speaker: Nope, a 14 will certainly miss.
Speaker: Um, as a bonus action, though, can I...
Speaker: Is there anything like I can hide behind?
Speaker: Oh yeah, you could hide.
Speaker: There's trees that are around.
Speaker: You have rocks and stones that are all turned over.
Speaker: So there's plenty of stuff you could hide behind.
Speaker: So go ahead and give me a stealth check.
Speaker: That would be a 27.
Speaker: You are absolutely hidden.
Speaker: Sweet.
Speaker: So yeah, I will, you know, cast my firebolt, miss, and then like tuck and roll behind a boulder.
Speaker: Sounds good to me.
Speaker: After Melanie Proper's turn, it's going to be the lair action.
Speaker: I need to roll a d10.
Speaker: You're able to see from over top of...
Speaker: the town hall lock shock and barrel now winged with just they're sewn onto their bodies on their arms on their backs and legs these just misformed wings and they're flying over top of it and they come and they're flying overhead of this gourd god and she looks up
Speaker: My children, you're here.
Speaker: I'm so happy.
Speaker: Them.
Speaker: Get them.
Speaker: And then I am going to need everybody except Melanie to make a dexterity saving throw.
Speaker: Okay, dex save.
Speaker: At 20.
Speaker: I can take a picture.
Speaker: I swear to God, you're going to hate me, though.
Speaker: I rolled a nat 20 as well.
Speaker: No, you didn't.
Speaker: Oh, God.
Speaker: I did.
Speaker: I did.
Speaker: I did.
Speaker: I did not roll a nat 20.
Speaker: I rolled a 19 plus 7.
Speaker: It gives me a 26.
Speaker: You all pass.
Speaker: So nothing happens.
Speaker: You don't notice anything.
Speaker: Everything still seems clean, and you see the Gord God's head, without turning the body around yet still, just turns 180 degrees and is now upright, and you hear the bones cracking as it turns up.
Speaker: Interesting.
Speaker: I don't like it.
Speaker: Jordan, it's your turn.
Speaker: I'm gonna fly up to the Gord God with my eyes closed.
Speaker: And once I'm ten feet away, my eyes are gonna snap open, but they're gonna be completely black.
Speaker: And I am going to cast Phantasmal Killer on it.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: What do I need to do?
Speaker: Jenkins, get the fuck out of here.
Speaker: Wisdom save.
Speaker: No, I don't want to.
Speaker: Would you like me to wrap some more for you?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Gord God needs to do a wisdom save.
Speaker: A wisdom save.
Speaker: Ah, okay.
Speaker: That is a 13. 13.
Speaker: That does not save.
Speaker: So... Target... So, the Gord God is going to burn a legendary resistance.
Speaker: The Gord God can suck my asshole.
Speaker: Um... I would like to use my reaction to use Beguiling Twist.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Uh...
Speaker: Whenever you or a creature you can see within 120 feet succeeds a saving throw against being charmed or frightened, I can use my reaction to force a different creature I see within 120 feet to make a wisdom saving throw.
Speaker: And I'm going to choose Barrel.
Speaker: So Barrel needs to make a wisdom saving throw now?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Let me see what Barrel's wisdom is.
Speaker: It's a nine.
Speaker: Now, Beryl is charmed by me.
Speaker: Also fair.
Speaker: As a bonus action, I am going to give a Bardigan Spiration to Melanie, because she's already taken damage.
Speaker: Thanks.
Speaker: All right, so Mel, you'll have a D8 you can add to any ability check or attack roll.
Speaker: Sweet.
Speaker: Sweet.
Speaker: Is that the end of your turn, Jordan?
Speaker: Yeah, it's the end of my turn.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Sorry, microphone.
Speaker: That is Lock, Shock, and Beryl's turn.
Speaker: You see Beryl is kind of flying in the air and he flies down into the bloody fountain.
Speaker: The other two are, oh no, what's he doing?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: He's scared.
Speaker: And they are going to... Where'd it go?
Speaker: They're both going to make two ranged attacks with... It looks like a crossbow, but it's just kind of made out of bones and hair and flesh.
Speaker: So it's going to be one shot towards Jordan and one shot towards Breck.
Speaker: Jordan does a 25 hit.
Speaker: Oh yeah, that hits.
Speaker: And Breck, will a 19 hit you?
Speaker: Yeah, unfortunately.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Because they're running as a group, it should have been three attacks, but you managed to make one of them kind of go pfft.
Speaker: So each of you are going to take seven piercing damage.
Speaker: Ow.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That is Lock Shock and not Barrel's turn.
Speaker: Breck, it is your go.
Speaker: So I'm just going to look at everyone and be like, you know, guys, I really don't like what's going on here.
Speaker: And do I see something that's like 30 feet up that I could see?
Speaker: Like a tree or a top of a building?
Speaker: You can see kind of broken down trees or in the water fountain.
Speaker: That's probably... Jordan, how tall is the water fountain in Nightmare Before Christmas?
Speaker: It's about as tall as Jack.
Speaker: I know that.
Speaker: It's a little bit taller than Jack.
Speaker: Yeah, so it's probably about 10 feet tall, we'll say.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'll pick a tree then, because I want to get up as high as I can.
Speaker: And you would see me just explode into a cloud of bats as I cast Misty Step.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: And I'm going to use that one.
Speaker: And then, yeah.
Speaker: While I'm up there, I'm going to turn and just be like, Hey, you, Gordy, I have something for you.
Speaker: And I'm just going to fire two arrows at it.
Speaker: Fire away?
Speaker: That is a 27 to hit and a 14 to hit.
Speaker: The 27 will hit.
Speaker: Yay.
Speaker: That is...
Speaker: 11 damage from the bow and three psychic damage as I also use dreadful strikes.
Speaker: I hate to tell you, this thing is immune to psychic damage.
Speaker: You're kidding me.
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Well, I'm also going to make it my favorite foe, which means I get to add a D6 and that's a six.
Speaker: So, 17 damage altogether.
Speaker: 17 altogether.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: There we go.
Speaker: Alright.
Speaker: After that, we go back up to the top of the order.
Speaker: Back to the Gord God.
Speaker: The Gord God is going to look up at you and just kind of reel its head in and bite the arrow that you put in it and just rip it out.
Speaker: I like it when they move.
Speaker: It's going to be so much more fun.
Speaker: How do you taste?
Speaker: And she is going to launch her head at you and try to bite you.
Speaker: How about a 17?
Speaker: Who are you talking to?
Speaker: You up in the tree.
Speaker: You.
Speaker: Wait, she can attack me 30 feet up in a tree.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Oh, fuck.
Speaker: I'm flavoring things that way you have no idea what kind of thing I'm fighting you with.
Speaker: Okay, yeah.
Speaker: Was not expecting that.
Speaker: That was a waste of a misty tap.
Speaker: Yes, 17 hits.
Speaker: Oh, 17 does hit.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That is 4d12 plus 6.
Speaker: Oh, this is going to hurt.
Speaker: This is what did that damage to Melanie.
Speaker: 26 damage to you.
Speaker: Ow.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And with its second attack for the multi-attack, it's going to launch an arm over towards you, Matt.
Speaker: I'm right in front of it, so it doesn't even launch nothing.
Speaker: Yeah, you guys are... Oh, yeah, you did get right at it.
Speaker: So it swings the arm around.
Speaker: Think like Luffy from One Piece.
Speaker: It shoots past you and then comes swinging back.
Speaker: Does a 13 hit you, monk?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Yeah, I didn't think so.
Speaker: You just kind of get, like, a tender hug.
Speaker: She realizes she missed.
Speaker: Do you want to be another one of my children?
Speaker: Nah, you ugly as fuck.
Speaker: Oh, that was...
Speaker: That's rude as I'm gonna be.
Speaker: This isn't okay.
Speaker: Calm down.
Speaker: Calm down.
Speaker: And then that's going to be Matt's turn.
Speaker: I'm gonna make you not so calm in a second.
Speaker: And I am going to... How big is this bitch compared to my four-foot ass?
Speaker: If she wasn't... I know, great description.
Speaker: If she wasn't hunched over the way she is...
Speaker: She'd probably be around 10, 11 feet tall.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Can I, like, jump on her back and start punching her in the face?
Speaker: Yeah, abso-fucking-lutely you can.
Speaker: That's what I'm gonna try doing.
Speaker: Is that like an acrobatics?
Speaker: No, I'm not going to make you roll for it.
Speaker: I like this.
Speaker: I like the scene too much.
Speaker: Sweet.
Speaker: I jump up there and I crack my knuckles.
Speaker: Like, all right.
Speaker: I start punching the fuck out of the face.
Speaker: Now that is a 27.
Speaker: 27 hits.
Speaker: That is a nine bludgeoning damage.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Punch again.
Speaker: An 18.
Speaker: An 18 does not hit.
Speaker: I'm going to use a key point to flurry of blows to attack two more times.
Speaker: Okay, go for it.
Speaker: That's a dirty 20.
Speaker: That will hit.
Speaker: Eight.
Speaker: budgeting damage.
Speaker: Plus 8.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And that is a 19.
Speaker: A 19 just hits.
Speaker: That's 10 budgeting.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: At the end of Matt's turn, this thing's going to take a legendary action, and it's going to try and grapple you, Matt.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: With a grappling attack... Oh, no.
Speaker: She rolled a two, so she doesn't even hit you with the attempt to grapple.
Speaker: After Matt's turn, that will be Melanie.
Speaker: Since I'm hidden, would I be able... That's the wrong character sheet.
Speaker: Would I be able to do my sneak attack with a bow?
Speaker: Absolutely, yeah.
Speaker: You can make an attack and you can get sneak attack with that.
Speaker: Alright, so I'm going to attack with my longbow to the creepy-ass bunny-eating gourd lady.
Speaker: Can't read my dice.
Speaker: So that would be... 19 to hit?
Speaker: A 19 just hits.
Speaker: Fuck yeah.
Speaker: So that would be an extra d4 with my d8.
Speaker: Alright.
Speaker: Alright.
Speaker: No, you get 4d6.
Speaker: 4d6?
Speaker: Oh shit, hang on.
Speaker: I need more dice.
Speaker: It should be on your sheet.
Speaker: It's either 3d6 or 4d6 for your sync attack.
Speaker: It's four.
Speaker: I thought it was a good problem to have, was needing more dice.
Speaker: Yeah, right.
Speaker: Plus my d8, right?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Cool.
Speaker: That's 13 points of damage.
Speaker: 13.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And then as a bonus action, I'm going to think I'll just dash to a different hiding spot.
Speaker: So you want to hide again?
Speaker: Yeah, I want to hide again.
Speaker: Just not in the same spot.
Speaker: So if she looks there, then I'm not there anymore.
Speaker: Sure thing.
Speaker: Go ahead and give me a stealth check.
Speaker: That is 26.
Speaker: 26.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: You, as far as you know, are hidden.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Sounds good.
Speaker: I'm hiding just behind another, I'm hiding behind a pillar this time.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: After that is the lair action again.
Speaker: Mother is going to look around.
Speaker: No, no.
Speaker: I think you'd be stronger children than the others.
Speaker: Um, Beryl!
Speaker: Come here, you little shit.
Speaker: And she's going to extend an arm out and grabs Beryl by the nape of the neck and brings him in.
Speaker: You don't see what happens as her head finally flips back forward, but you hear that gnashing sound of grinding of teeth and bone.
Speaker: as she is going to heal a little bit.
Speaker: Did she just eat Beryl?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Ew.
Speaker: Aw, he was my friend.
Speaker: He was useless.
Speaker: Uh, Jordan, your turn.
Speaker: Pardon the noise, I'm digging out some dice to do what I want to do.
Speaker: Throw caltrops?
Speaker: No, but kinda.
Speaker: Is her mouth open?
Speaker: She's actually not facing you right now.
Speaker: If I kinda skirt around her, would her mouth be open?
Speaker: Probably.
Speaker: She's eating the barrel.
Speaker: He's the chunky one.
Speaker: I am going to get around to a point where I can see the inside of her mouth.
Speaker: I'd say you'd be able to move around there.
Speaker: You're not going to provoke an opportunity attack moving around.
Speaker: Well, I wouldn't anyway.
Speaker: I started ten feet away from her.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So... Upon doing that... I am going to look at the inside of her mouth and choose that as my point of...
Speaker: Oh, my point that I want to do.
Speaker: And basically what I'm going to do is I'm going to upcast Cloud of Daggers at a third level inside of her mouth.
Speaker: I like this.
Speaker: I fill the air with spinning daggers and a cube five feet on each side, centered on a point that I choose within range.
Speaker: The creature takes 44 slashing damage when it enters a spell's area for the first time or on a turn that or when it starts a turn there.
Speaker: And since I'm upcasting it, I get 64 instead of 44.
Speaker: And since I'm casting it inside her mouth, she will carry it with her wherever she goes.
Speaker: Concentration for a minute.
Speaker: Concentration for a minute.
Speaker: Go ahead and roll your 64.
Speaker: 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 damage.
Speaker: 15 damage.
Speaker: Wonderful.
Speaker: You did most of the damage back that she healed.
Speaker: Excellent.
Speaker: And then as a bonus action, I'm going to give a bardic to Matt.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Don't worry, Breck.
Speaker: Yours is coming next turn.
Speaker: I have three of them.
Speaker: Woo.
Speaker: After Jordan's turn, that is now lock shock and not a barrel.
Speaker: Mother got hungry.
Speaker: Oh, well, it happens.
Speaker: We'll make another one.
Speaker: That's fine.
Speaker: And they're going to take two shots at you as they see this cloud of daggers just swarm around the head of their mother.
Speaker: Does a 16 or a 12 hit?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Lock, shock, and barrel.
Speaker: That's all that they've got.
Speaker: Breck, Yrgo, up in a tree.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: So I am going to use my action to cast Bless on Jordan, Melanie, and Matt.
Speaker: So you each get a d4 to add to a saving throw or a attack roll.
Speaker: Oh, thank you.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: What's the range on... No, you can't do that.
Speaker: You're 30 feet up a tree.
Speaker: The range is exactly 30 feet.
Speaker: You are 30 feet up a tree.
Speaker: She is 10 feet away from at least the tree.
Speaker: And Matt is on top of her and Jordan is off to the side.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: Yes, I thought she was, like, right under the tree.
Speaker: I didn't realize she could reach even further than 30 feet.
Speaker: Fuck.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Her head goes... Her head go Luffy.
Speaker: Well... You can hit... I'll say you can get Matt if you do still want to cast it.
Speaker: You could get Matt, but you're not going to be able to get Jordan and Melanie.
Speaker: No, it's not worth it if I'm just getting Matt and myself.
Speaker: So...
Speaker: I am just going to... I'm going to use my... So I have a climbing speed the same as my walking speed, which is 35 feet.
Speaker: Can I keep going up this tree?
Speaker: No, I'd say you're about at the top of it.
Speaker: These trees are all damaged and dead.
Speaker: Like, they're not tall tall.
Speaker: I'm going to bonus action cast Zephyr Strike.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And then I'm going to take my two attacks with one of them being at advantage.
Speaker: Go for it.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: I am so thankful for that advantage.
Speaker: What is mine to hit?
Speaker: So that is a 28 to hit.
Speaker: And a 25.
Speaker: They both hit.
Speaker: Alright.
Speaker: That is 17 damage on the bow.
Speaker: That is 10 force damage from Zephyr Strike.
Speaker: And I'm going to find the other one.
Speaker: I have so many things I have to roll.
Speaker: Blue is a d6, so I'll just roll that.
Speaker: Three for the favored foe.
Speaker: Plus three.
Speaker: Okay, that actually hurts her a fair amount.
Speaker: You launch these two arrows into her and you can see the wind whipping around the arrows.
Speaker: And she kind of... And cocks her head back full of daggers just around her head.
Speaker: But you can tell she's staring those daggers right back at you.
Speaker: That's for eating my friend.
Speaker: After Breck's turn, that is the Gord God's turn.
Speaker: Now, Jordan, as a fan of your character, you said you made the location of the Cloud of Daggers in her mouth?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Well, she just started her turn.
Speaker: So how much damage does she take?
Speaker: Oh, 15 again.
Speaker: Okay, 15.
Speaker: Hmm.
Speaker: It does taste good.
Speaker: And you hear her just trying to gnash on these daggers in her mouth, blood just dripping down from this face.
Speaker: I want to rule all of these holidays.
Speaker: It sounds so much fun.
Speaker: Jack thought too small.
Speaker: I'm going to take it all.
Speaker: And she is going to attack you, Jordan, because you are right next to her.
Speaker: So she's going to try and give you a punch.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: 24.
Speaker: That'll hit.
Speaker: Alright.
Speaker: This isn't her bite, so it's not as much damage.
Speaker: That's going to be 15 damage on the punch.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And then, Matt, you're still kind of on her back.
Speaker: She goes to stand up a little bit and she tries to take a bite at you.
Speaker: I also hate to say
Speaker: you're gonna need to take 15 damage from Jordan's cloud of daggers.
Speaker: Wait, is it a dex save?
Speaker: Is it a dex save, Jordan?
Speaker: Or does it just do damage?
Speaker: It just does damage, but it's if you start your turn, I figured her head was bigger than five.
Speaker: Or the first time you enter the area.
Speaker: Yeah, I figured her head was big, so that's why I cast it inside her mouth.
Speaker: It ain't that big, and she's biting him anyway.
Speaker: And does a 22 hit you, Matt?
Speaker: That does.
Speaker: So, yeah, you're gonna take that 15 damage, and you're gonna take the 4d12.
Speaker: Alright.
Speaker: So, how much damage do I take altogether?
Speaker: Go ahead.
Speaker: I'm getting to it.
Speaker: I rolled
Speaker: terribly.
Speaker: You're only going to take 20 damage from the bite attack.
Speaker: So 20 and then 15 as well.
Speaker: Unless Jordan's got something.
Speaker: No, no, no, no.
Speaker: I have something else.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: That's going to do it for the Gord God.
Speaker: You can tell looking, she is not healthy right now.
Speaker: You guys have done some substantial damage.
Speaker: All I was going to say is I rolled my concentration.
Speaker: I took 15 damage and I rolled a 9 for my concentration, so it's still going.
Speaker: You rolled a 9?
Speaker: What do you have to roll for concentration?
Speaker: Half of your damage.
Speaker: Half of the damage taken that round.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: All right, good.
Speaker: Cool beans.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: After the Gord God is Matt's turn.
Speaker: You just got bit by a Dagger Mouth.
Speaker: I'm gonna punch her.
Speaker: Actually, wait.
Speaker: I want to try to get out of the range of the Cloud of Daggers.
Speaker: After she bit you, since he kind of put it in there, like, her head whipped God at you and then moved back.
Speaker: So you're not in range of it right now.
Speaker: I'll say as long as you don't punch its head, then I will not make you take the Cloud of Daggers damage again at the start of your turn.
Speaker: Gotcha.
Speaker: Gotcha.
Speaker: I'm just going to start.
Speaker: Well, I mean, what's the closest thing to me that I can punch currently?
Speaker: You're on her back.
Speaker: She's still all hunched over.
Speaker: I mean, think of this as being like just fully arched over, hunchback in Notre Dame, plus five more degrees.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: I was finding a good angle to hit the hunch on her back just perfectly.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I'm a puncher.
Speaker: That is a 19.
Speaker: That just hits.
Speaker: Woohoo, baby.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: It's 11 bludgeoning.
Speaker: And I'm going to spend a key point.
Speaker: Because if I didn't do this as a monk at least one time, I know someone on the internet would get mad at me.
Speaker: I'm going to try to stunning strike her.
Speaker: Aha, yes.
Speaker: What kind of save do I need to make?
Speaker: I believe it's a con.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Stunning strike.
Speaker: Con saving throw of DC 14.
Speaker: Well, I got a 13, but I'm going to burn a legendary resistance to not be stunned.
Speaker: It's all good.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: The internet would be mad at me if I didn't use my resistance.
Speaker: That's a my turn.
Speaker: That is a your turn.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Melanie, you're go.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: She looks rough.
Speaker: Good.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: So I'm going to sneak attack again for my little hidey hide.
Speaker: And I'm going to attempt to cast Firebolt again.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Attempt is the keyword.
Speaker: That's a nat 20.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Oh, and because I like my rules better than D&D's rules, you're going to get sneak attack on that, so you're going to double your sneak attack damage as well.
Speaker: Fuck yes!
Speaker: So, that means I need 2d10s on top of 4d6s.
Speaker: 8d6s.
Speaker: 8d6s.
Speaker: Oh, so that means I need 4d10s.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Give me just un momento to grab all the shit I need.
Speaker: There's my 40 times.
Speaker: Six.
Speaker: Seven.
Speaker: I need one more.
Speaker: I need one more.
Speaker: Eight.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: You ready for this clickety-clacks?
Speaker: I heard that through the floor.
Speaker: That's the first time you've said that to her.
Speaker: She says it to you a lot.
Speaker: Normally I hear the little bit of a trickle through the floor, but that one was like, Jesus Christ, it sounded like it was coming through the floor.
Speaker: I didn't think all my dice were going to fit in my dice tower.
Speaker: I'm not going to lie.
Speaker: That was all of them going through a dice tower?
Speaker: Yes, it was.
Speaker: I hope you have a calculator handy.
Speaker: I am doing that currently.
Speaker: If you want to just give me the numbers, I can type them in.
Speaker: This could kill it.
Speaker: But I need to give Breck my last bardic inspiration.
Speaker: Are you telling me to accidentally more health?
Speaker: No, no, not at all.
Speaker: That is 47 points of damage.
Speaker: Not dead.
Speaker: No!
Speaker: You whoosh.
Speaker: You're firebolt at her.
Speaker: Ah!
Speaker: Finkle, Finkle, Finkle!
Speaker: We might have to try again!
Speaker: And she is just starting to drip and ooze like a molding pumpkin that has been sitting outside for too long.
Speaker: It's just slowly starting to drip away into nothing.
Speaker: I'm going to take my bonus action and hide behind another pillar so I'm in a different spot again.
Speaker: Stealth check.
Speaker: Hold on, I got to clear my dice tower.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Um, that's a 30.
Speaker: You're hidden as well as you know.
Speaker: Okay, good.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay, my stealth is literally a plus 11.
Speaker: So, and I just rolled a 19.
Speaker: Oh, well done.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: After Mel's turn, that is a lair action.
Speaker: Locke and Shock, they see what you just did and then, where'd she go?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: She's gone.
Speaker: Oh, that's not good.
Speaker: And they're going to look up and they see Breck's character up in the tree.
Speaker: What about him?
Speaker: Get him?
Speaker: Yeah, I think we get him.
Speaker: Okay, we get him.
Speaker: I am going to need you to roll a contested athletics against me.
Speaker: Are you sure it isn't acrobatics?
Speaker: 100%.
Speaker: Damn it.
Speaker: That is a four.
Speaker: Well, I rolled one for each of the two.
Speaker: One of them rolled a two.
Speaker: So you see shock just flies right past you and absolutely whiffs it and just face plants into a wall.
Speaker: However...
Speaker: Shock gets a 19 on the dice.
Speaker: So you are pushed off of the tree, which you said was 30 feet?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Cool.
Speaker: You take a total of four falling damage.
Speaker: Oh, well, that's better than I thought it was going to be.
Speaker: Yeah, it's not as good as I wanted it to be.
Speaker: After that is Jordan's turn.
Speaker: Seeing how hurt the Gord Lord is, I am going to take my rapier and make a stabby stab.
Speaker: Stabby stabby.
Speaker: That is a...
Speaker: nine plus one is ten plus eight is eighteen i think that's gonna miss 18s miss mother yeah i'm making sure there's not something i can do i thought there was something i could do ah no it's just for ability checks damn it
Speaker: Yeah, it's just for ability checks.
Speaker: I'm sorry.
Speaker: Nah, it's all right.
Speaker: Bonus action.
Speaker: I'm going to give my last Bardic Inspiration to Breck.
Speaker: Awesome.
Speaker: From the base of the tree, I just kind of grunt.
Speaker: A little late.
Speaker: Better late than never.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: After Jordan's turn, it is Locke and Shock's turn.
Speaker: This time, I'm going to roll for shock.
Speaker: Nat one.
Speaker: So she's not going to be able to get there.
Speaker: But Beryl is going to be able to try and make it attack on you, Breck, but at disadvantage because they have ranged weapons and you are prone.
Speaker: That is a rule that doesn't come up very often.
Speaker: Yeah, you're lucky I know it too.
Speaker: I'm guessing a 16 doesn't hit.
Speaker: That just hits.
Speaker: A 16 does hit?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Oh my god, they actually get to roll a damage dice for something.
Speaker: Three.
Speaker: Three damage.
Speaker: Enjoy your three damage.
Speaker: With how much you can come in after me, I'm actually getting low.
Speaker: Why do you keep picking on the squishy ranger?
Speaker: You're the one who made yourself very well noticeable.
Speaker: And you did the first real amount of damage, and Melanie's hidden.
Speaker: Because you can't find me.
Speaker: And I'm not doing anything.
Speaker: I'm just supporting you guys.
Speaker: No, she's attacked you and missed.
Speaker: That's true, too.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So, Breck, it is your turn.
Speaker: All right, I'm gonna get up off the ground and I have to check something real quick.
Speaker: Okay, cool.
Speaker: I am going to move away from the tree.
Speaker: And as I'm moving, I'm gonna make my two attacks.
Speaker: Bring it on.
Speaker: Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it.
Speaker: That is a dirty 20.
Speaker: Hits.
Speaker: And a 23.
Speaker: Both hit.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: That is 17 from the bow.
Speaker: I'm going to go over.
Speaker: And then I need my D8.
Speaker: And that is six force damage from Zephyr Strike.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And a six from Favorite Enemy.
Speaker: That wasn't quite enough.
Speaker: She has three hit points left.
Speaker: And on initiative 26, which is the Gord God's initiative, poke her in the eye.
Speaker: No, I'm automatically going to kill her right now.
Speaker: She's starting her turn in my cloud of daggers.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: And since she has three hit points and I roll 6d4, she's automatically dead.
Speaker: So I'll roll it just to be fun.
Speaker: 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13.
Speaker: 17 this time.
Speaker: Plus 17.
Speaker: So... Do you want to paint a picture or shall I paint this one for you?
Speaker: So, I want to.
Speaker: As...
Speaker: Breck, as you do your last couple attacks, you see her kind of stagger, and she kind of stiffens as the inside wall of the gourd is getting thin enough that the daggers just start finally cutting through, and the gourd just shreds to ribbons.
Speaker: As your daggers fly around and shred this thing to absolute ribbons,
Speaker: You can see underneath it all these different colors.
Speaker: You see some feathers that are covered in blood go flying out.
Speaker: You see some of the pink fur of the Easter bunny.
Speaker: You see a weird green little trinket come out.
Speaker: St.
Speaker: Paddy's Day?
Speaker: Was that really one of them?
Speaker: Fuck.
Speaker: That's weird.
Speaker: You see all these things start spewing out like a volcano.
Speaker: But more than anything, you all are able to see when you look up
Speaker: Something black is coming down from the sky.
Speaker: What is up there?
Speaker: She's dead.
Speaker: Locke and Shock, they're getting out of here.
Speaker: They're out of town.
Speaker: You see Finkel comes down.
Speaker: Again?
Speaker: God damn it.
Speaker: I guess we'll have to try this again.
Speaker: And he's holding the vial that you guys had gotten trapped in
Speaker: that radiates with the same light that sucked you into this world.
Speaker: And he takes it and he drinks it.
Speaker: What the fuck?
Speaker: You see his head flash in that exact same light that you saw when you first got sucked into this world, into your favorite movie, into your fetish, Jordan.
Speaker: This light goes off and you just are blinded again by black light.
Speaker: And all of you
Speaker: Find yourselves right where you were two minutes before the chime ended.
Speaker: Breck trick-or-treating with your wife and your son.
Speaker: Matt at a party with Red Solo Cup in hand.
Speaker: Melanie and Jordan, you find yourselves trick-or-treating, hoping to get to that last house before the end of the night.
Speaker: And all of you...
Speaker: Simultaneously with full recollection of what had just occurred, 759, you begin to hear the chime ring again.
Speaker: What the fuck?
Speaker: And that's where we'll end our Halloween special.
Speaker: We're stuck in an endless loop!
Speaker: That was fantastic.
Speaker: Thank you, everybody.
Speaker: Thank you for giving me the opportunity.
Speaker: I had a blast.
Speaker: That was good.
Speaker: I liked it.
Speaker: Yeah, dude.
Speaker: Thanks for running it.
Speaker: That was fantastic.
Speaker: Hello, everybody.
Speaker: Thank you so much for listening to our Halloween special release.
Speaker: All copyrights are given to, obviously, Disney or Nintendo or
Speaker: To be fair, anybody whom we may have taken a sound, a song, anything from, none of that is ours.
Speaker: We're just having fun with the media that we're given in this life.
Speaker: We have Breck Black as himself, Matt Check as himself, Melanie Derringer as herself, and Jordan Derringer as himself.
Speaker: This will not interfere with our regular release timing.
Speaker: On Monday, you will get the next episode, and I hope you enjoy it very much.
Speaker: Have a great week.
Speaker: And we'll see you soon.
Speaker: Let's play pretend!
Speaker: Let's play pretend!
Speaker: Let's play pretend!
Speaker: Yeah!
